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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,200 --> 00:00:04,480 This programme contains some strong language. 2 00:00:04,480 --> 00:00:05,840 It's nowhere near the ground. 3 00:00:05,840 --> 00:00:08,360 Oh, sorry, I should've brought that back ages ago. 4 00:00:08,360 --> 00:00:09,760 No, it's all right. 5 00:00:09,760 --> 00:00:14,000 We only need it because we've got a cleaner coming tomorrow. 6 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:17,720 - Cleaner? - Yeah, cleaner. - Indeed. 7 00:00:17,720 --> 00:00:19,200 It's this little Bulgarian chick. 8 00:00:19,200 --> 00:00:21,160 She's going to wash and iron Pauline's clothes 9 00:00:21,160 --> 00:00:23,880 - and her pillowcase... - And brush my hair. 10 00:00:23,880 --> 00:00:25,880 If she wants the money, she'll do it. 11 00:00:25,880 --> 00:00:28,520 She's going to do all that and clean the flat for 60 quid. 12 00:00:28,520 --> 00:00:30,200 Blimey. I'd do it for half that! 13 00:00:32,760 --> 00:00:34,320 I think she was joking. 14 00:00:34,320 --> 00:00:36,680 - Were you? - Yes. 15 00:00:36,680 --> 00:00:37,920 Yeah. 16 00:00:37,920 --> 00:00:40,920 - Well, if you ever need the cash, Cathy. - Thanks. 17 00:00:40,920 --> 00:00:44,080 - You wouldn't have to declare it. - Bye, Derek. - Bye, Uncle Derek! 18 00:00:46,520 --> 00:00:48,040 Well, have a happy Easter. 19 00:00:48,040 --> 00:00:49,240 Yes. 20 00:00:49,240 --> 00:00:50,840 Unlikely, but thank you. 21 00:00:50,840 --> 00:00:53,600 - We're having lunch with Derek's friends. - Our friends. 22 00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:56,800 So, that's a whole afternoon of bad wine and vacuous chitchat 23 00:00:56,800 --> 00:00:59,200 and food cooked by the sorts of animals Derek's friends 24 00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:02,440 - are married to. - The sorts of animals OUR friends are married to. - Yes. 25 00:01:02,440 --> 00:01:04,040 Well, have a lovely Easter, Cathy. 26 00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:05,640 - Thank you. - You doing anything nice? 27 00:01:05,640 --> 00:01:07,000 No, not much. 28 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:09,240 Jason and Kelly are going to Kelly's auntie's, 29 00:01:09,240 --> 00:01:12,480 and my friend Lyn's going to pop round, she always does at Easter. 30 00:01:12,480 --> 00:01:15,480 Oh, and yeah, we're having the carpet done, aren't we, on Tuesday 31 00:01:15,480 --> 00:01:18,760 so Michael's going to come round and help me clear the front room. 32 00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:22,040 Sorry, I didn't listen. 33 00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:24,240 Well, have fun, whatever you're doing. 34 00:01:24,240 --> 00:01:25,960 What colour's the carpet? 35 00:01:25,960 --> 00:01:27,600 It's speckled. 36 00:01:27,600 --> 00:01:29,200 It's sort of beige. 37 00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:32,240 SHE LAUGHS Of course it is. 38 00:01:33,520 --> 00:01:35,480 - Bye then. - Bye, Cath. - Bye. 39 00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:40,800 - I'll ask her. - Thanks, babe. 40 00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:44,880 Why don't you come to my auntie's? 41 00:01:44,880 --> 00:01:46,720 Oh, your auntie doesn't want me there. 42 00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:49,960 I've got loads of family who are sort of... 43 00:01:49,960 --> 00:01:52,960 I don't know what the proper word is, but they're like... 44 00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:56,040 I don't mean to be rude or anything, but they're like... 45 00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:58,320 - your age? - Yeah? 46 00:01:58,320 --> 00:02:00,880 Yeah, so you could talk to them about whatever it is you people 47 00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:05,080 talk about, like ABBA, or the news, 48 00:02:05,080 --> 00:02:07,480 or the first time you got a colour TV. 49 00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:11,240 That sounds really very tempting, Kelly, but there's 50 00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:14,400 a front room to clear, isn't there, and Michael's coming over, so... 51 00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:16,880 Mum, seriously, are you honestly telling me 52 00:02:16,880 --> 00:02:20,480 that you want to spend Easter Sunday alone in the house with Michael? 53 00:02:20,480 --> 00:02:21,960 THEY GIGGLE 54 00:02:23,320 --> 00:02:25,480 You're so funny, babe. 55 00:02:25,480 --> 00:02:27,440 I'm not as funny as you are beautiful. 56 00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:28,880 Babe! 57 00:02:28,880 --> 00:02:31,600 Your eyes are infinitesimal. 58 00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:33,720 - Oh, babe. - Can I just...? 59 00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:35,240 - Yeah, sorry. - Sorry. 60 00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:37,640 MUSIC: You're Gonna Miss Me by Lulu and the Lampshades 61 00:02:37,640 --> 00:02:41,120 # I got my ticket for the long way round 62 00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:44,120 # Two bottles of whisky for the way 63 00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:46,480 ? And I sure would like some... ? 64 00:02:46,480 --> 00:02:48,680 Bye, Cath! 65 00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:49,920 Right then. 66 00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:51,800 # I'm leaving tomorrow, what do you say? 67 00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:53,280 - # When I'm gone - # When I'm gone... # 68 00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:55,480 CAR ENGINE STUTTERS 69 00:02:56,640 --> 00:02:59,120 ? You're gonna miss me when I'm gone... ? 70 00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:01,360 CAR ENGINE STUTTERS 71 00:03:01,360 --> 00:03:03,360 ? You're gonna miss me everywhere... ? 72 00:03:03,360 --> 00:03:05,720 CAR ENGINE STUTTERS 73 00:03:07,280 --> 00:03:09,320 Just stay in the car, I'll sort it out. 74 00:03:09,320 --> 00:03:12,200 # I got my ticket for the long way round 75 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:15,920 ? The one with the prettiest view... ? 76 00:03:15,920 --> 00:03:17,160 I'm not sitting in the car. 77 00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:18,840 # It's got woods that'll give you shivers 78 00:03:18,840 --> 00:03:21,960 ? But it sure would be prettier with you... ? 79 00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:23,800 CAR HORN BLARES 80 00:03:23,800 --> 00:03:25,960 # When I'm gone 81 00:03:25,960 --> 00:03:28,040 # When I'm gone 82 00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:31,120 ? You're gonna miss me when I'm gone. ? 83 00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:37,240 - BOTH: - Happy Easter! 84 00:03:37,240 --> 00:03:39,040 - Happy Easter! - Happy Easter! 85 00:03:39,040 --> 00:03:41,480 - Happy Easter! - I love Easter. - It's so random. 86 00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:43,400 I can't believe it's finally here. 87 00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:45,120 So go on, what Easter egg did you get? 88 00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:47,640 Well, Cathy got me one with my name on, didn't you? 89 00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:50,240 - Yeah. - Thornton's. 90 00:03:50,240 --> 00:03:53,200 - Shut up! - Yeah. Ryan spent like a tenner on it. 91 00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:54,640 Congratulations on your course. 92 00:03:54,640 --> 00:03:56,240 Oh, thanks, yeah. 93 00:03:56,240 --> 00:03:58,320 - He's going to be a male nurse. - Yeah. 94 00:03:58,320 --> 00:03:59,800 You can just say nurse. 95 00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:01,560 That's very exciting, love. 96 00:04:01,560 --> 00:04:04,280 My mum was ill quite a lot and so I used to sort of look after her 97 00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:06,920 instead of school, and then I sort of just held her hand 98 00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:09,600 while she died, so it feels like the next step, really. 99 00:04:11,680 --> 00:04:13,160 Him, though, a male nurse! 100 00:04:14,240 --> 00:04:15,800 You can just say nurse. 101 00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:19,280 Yeah, good, Michael, yeah. 102 00:04:19,280 --> 00:04:22,920 The car's broken down, but then, on the other hand, it's Easter. 103 00:04:22,920 --> 00:04:25,360 I love Easter. You know all the chocolate, all the eggs, 104 00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:26,680 all the rabbits. 105 00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:29,600 What is it with the rabbits? And what is it with all the chocolate?! 106 00:04:29,600 --> 00:04:31,920 I should do a bit of the old stand-up comedy, shouldn't I? 107 00:04:31,920 --> 00:04:35,640 So, Easter, what's with all the rabbits?! 108 00:04:35,640 --> 00:04:38,280 That'd be good that, wouldn't it? I'd be like Bob Monkhouse. 109 00:04:38,280 --> 00:04:40,120 I love Bob Monkhouse. It's a shame he's dead. 110 00:04:40,120 --> 00:04:41,840 But we all go eventually, don't we? 111 00:04:44,440 --> 00:04:46,360 You all right, mate? 112 00:04:46,360 --> 00:04:48,400 Oh, yeah, sorry. 113 00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:50,680 I just had one of these. 114 00:04:50,680 --> 00:04:51,840 Oh, right. 115 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:55,080 - OK. - Yeah. 116 00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:57,320 Who gives a fuck about shitty old carpets? 117 00:04:57,320 --> 00:04:59,280 - Yeah. - I'm like, shit man! 118 00:04:59,280 --> 00:05:01,640 - Are you? - Yeah. - Yeah. 119 00:05:01,640 --> 00:05:03,800 So she's going to clear out the front room today. 120 00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:05,560 - On Easter Sunday? - Yeah. 121 00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:06,720 Is she demented? 122 00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:10,040 She doesn't know it yet, me and Jason are going to do it 123 00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:12,040 for her tomorrow so she can have today on her own, 124 00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:15,840 - she doesn't have to be alone with Michael. - That's nice of you. - Yeah. 125 00:05:15,840 --> 00:05:18,560 I'm never going to live as long as Cathy, the way I'm going. 126 00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:21,320 That's a good point, babe. You better slow down. 127 00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:22,440 I can't. 128 00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:28,360 - Is it all right if I have a slash? - Yeah, 'course. - Is it clean? 129 00:05:29,360 --> 00:05:31,320 - Hello. - Hey. 130 00:05:31,320 --> 00:05:32,840 You all right? 131 00:05:32,840 --> 00:05:35,320 Yeah. Should've worn another layer, but... 132 00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:36,640 I was in the car, so... 133 00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:40,640 I don't know why I'm going on about it. 134 00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:42,320 So, you are all set for today? 135 00:05:42,320 --> 00:05:45,680 Yeah! I got up early, started to clear out the cupboards. 136 00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:47,840 Oh, hold it, stop it right there. 137 00:05:47,840 --> 00:05:49,000 Why? 138 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:51,880 I think I need a moment to digest just how exciting your life is. 139 00:05:51,880 --> 00:05:53,360 Oh, it's tragic. 140 00:05:53,360 --> 00:05:55,320 I've become the kind of person you pity. 141 00:05:55,320 --> 00:05:57,840 - Oh, I've always pitied you. - Thanks. 142 00:05:57,840 --> 00:06:00,440 So I've got it all sorted with my mum. 143 00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:01,640 It's no problem. 144 00:06:01,640 --> 00:06:04,360 I'm going to pop over there tonight, whenever we're finished, 145 00:06:04,360 --> 00:06:07,280 - so there's no rush. - Oh. - And I got us... 146 00:06:09,680 --> 00:06:11,120 ..Graceland. 147 00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:14,760 Oh! No, that's good, because I got us... 148 00:06:17,520 --> 00:06:20,080 Oh, I didn't know they still sold it! 149 00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:23,440 Yeah, actually, these days it's very trendy. 150 00:06:23,440 --> 00:06:25,000 Of course it is. 151 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:27,720 Oh, hi, Michael. I'm going to see a flat on Tuesday. 152 00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:30,200 - Oh, nice. Where? - Hoppett Road. 153 00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:31,480 You coming? 154 00:06:33,080 --> 00:06:35,120 - Yeah. - So it's like far enough away from here 155 00:06:35,120 --> 00:06:38,080 so it'll feel like we've moved out, but also like close enough to here 156 00:06:38,080 --> 00:06:40,200 so we can still come round for our dinner. 157 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:41,240 Great. 158 00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:43,840 It's really nice. 159 00:06:43,840 --> 00:06:46,280 When you look out the window, you can see a garden. 160 00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:48,960 - Oh, lovely. - You telling him about the flat? - Yeah. 161 00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:51,080 - DOORBELL RINGS - We're going to get a waffle-maker. 162 00:06:51,080 --> 00:06:53,720 - Of course. - And a drying rack. 163 00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:56,200 And we're going to spend a whole Saturday in Ikea. 164 00:06:57,680 --> 00:07:00,400 I'm sure that'll be a really pleasant experience. 165 00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:01,600 Yeah. 166 00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:05,920 - They're going to send someone around. - Oh, good. 167 00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:07,960 Did you tell them who my husband is? 168 00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:10,360 It's the AA. They're not going to care who your husband is. 169 00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:13,240 When we were together, my husband and I just had to click our fingers 170 00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:15,920 - and a tow truck would arrive. - I bet that was annoying. 171 00:07:15,920 --> 00:07:18,040 Seriously, that would really wind me up. 172 00:07:18,040 --> 00:07:20,480 - Babe? - I'm in the glass bit! 173 00:07:20,480 --> 00:07:23,120 Lyn's left her mum's. She just texted. 174 00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:25,480 - Oh, OK. - Who's Lyn? 175 00:07:25,480 --> 00:07:27,440 Oh, she's a very dear old friend of me 176 00:07:27,440 --> 00:07:29,400 and Dave and Michael and all that lot. 177 00:07:29,400 --> 00:07:31,480 She went out with Michael for a couple of years. 178 00:07:31,480 --> 00:07:34,000 But she used to have a bit of a thing for me, didn't she? 179 00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:36,320 - Oh, yes, she did! Yeah. - Yeah. 180 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:39,960 - How funny. - Mum! 181 00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:42,600 She always pops round with an Easter egg for Jason and we send them 182 00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:44,640 back for her lot. We've been doing it for years. 183 00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:46,040 - Sweet. - Yeah. 184 00:07:46,040 --> 00:07:48,600 So we're just telling Michael about the new plans for today. 185 00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:49,880 - Oh, OK. - Yeah. 186 00:07:49,880 --> 00:07:52,240 It's weird, really. 187 00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:53,760 It was quite funny at the time. 188 00:07:55,240 --> 00:07:57,000 Bit of an older woman kind of thing. 189 00:07:59,840 --> 00:08:01,120 She was quite the catch. 190 00:08:03,720 --> 00:08:06,920 My mates couldn't believe it when it was me that got off with her. 191 00:08:09,560 --> 00:08:10,800 You all right? 192 00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:12,280 Of course. Why wouldn't I be? 193 00:08:15,240 --> 00:08:17,680 - It was nothing serious. - I'm fine, Derek, so please just 194 00:08:17,680 --> 00:08:19,040 shut your stupid fat face. 195 00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:24,080 - I had to meet your husband. - Yes, I know. 196 00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:25,360 I remember the tears. 197 00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:28,520 All right, listen, guys, we've worked it out. 198 00:08:28,520 --> 00:08:30,000 You can have a nice day on your own. 199 00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:32,800 Michael, you can get round to your mum's. Me and Jason will clear out 200 00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:34,440 - the front room tomorrow. - OK. 201 00:08:34,440 --> 00:08:36,600 Ryan'll help. It's Bank Holiday, innit? 202 00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:37,800 What's that? 203 00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:40,200 What you doing tomorrow? Want to come help us clear out 204 00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:42,960 - the front room? - I've gotta get my ex an Easter egg. 205 00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:44,800 Which one are you going to get him? 206 00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:47,040 Malteasers? I don't know. 207 00:08:47,040 --> 00:08:48,800 Wispa, babe. Get him a Wispa one. 208 00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:51,080 There's too many. 209 00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:53,200 Fancy coming round and helping us tomorrow 210 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:55,560 and letting Mum have today to herself? 211 00:08:55,560 --> 00:08:58,840 Honestly, love, don't worry. Michael's here now, isn't he, so... 212 00:08:58,840 --> 00:09:01,320 I've gotta get this egg for Kevin. He's really demanding. 213 00:09:01,320 --> 00:09:04,320 Don't worry, love. Michael's here, so we'll just go ahead as planned. 214 00:09:04,320 --> 00:09:06,320 But Michael said he was going to fucking do it. 215 00:09:06,320 --> 00:09:08,600 - Babe, they can hear you. - It's fucking... 216 00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:10,920 Yeah, don't worry. I don't mind doing it, so... 217 00:09:12,280 --> 00:09:14,600 Mum, put your feet up, have a bit of me-time. 218 00:09:17,280 --> 00:09:20,320 - OK. - And you get off, mate, go on, see your mum. 219 00:09:20,320 --> 00:09:21,640 We'll be all right. 220 00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:23,920 Easter's meant to be family time, innit? 221 00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:25,880 You shouldn't have to spend it with us. 222 00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:29,560 Thanks. 223 00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:35,960 - NEXT DOOR: - They're fucking revolting. 224 00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:37,200 Babe, they can hear you! 225 00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:43,200 - At least we saved her from Michael. - Yeah. 226 00:09:44,560 --> 00:09:46,160 She needs to put herself first. 227 00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:50,120 You're such a lovely person, do you know that? 228 00:09:51,160 --> 00:09:53,080 - No, you have the bigger bit. - No, you have it. 229 00:09:53,080 --> 00:09:54,320 No, you have it. 230 00:09:58,440 --> 00:10:00,440 Yeah, he's right. 231 00:10:00,440 --> 00:10:02,400 It's a family day, I shouldn't be here. 232 00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:06,400 No, it's probably for the best. 233 00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:08,600 You'll be a lot quicker without me to slow you down. 234 00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:09,880 Oh, well, that's true. 235 00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:16,680 I just want my mum to be happy, because I love her. 236 00:10:16,680 --> 00:10:19,760 Oh, babe, that's so lovely. 237 00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:24,480 But not as lovely as your smile in the light of a thousand stars. 238 00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:28,440 Oh, babe. 239 00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:30,560 You're my gorgeous little twinkle-nose. 240 00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:33,440 Oh, babe! 241 00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:38,000 And it'd be good for you to get some time to yourself. 242 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:39,800 Yeah, I don't have enough of that. 243 00:10:42,440 --> 00:10:44,880 My sister's down anyway. 244 00:10:44,880 --> 00:10:46,240 Oh, is she? 245 00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:48,640 Yeah, yeah so I should head off to my mum's, 246 00:10:48,640 --> 00:10:51,600 and I don't want to upset Jason. He's... 247 00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:53,000 - JASON: - She's here. 248 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:54,960 - Oh, that'll be Lyn. - My mum's best friend... 249 00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:56,880 Oh, right, good. OK. Excellent. 250 00:10:56,880 --> 00:11:00,160 Then I'll head off in a minute. 251 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:01,800 Right. 252 00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:08,680 Mum, I think that's Lynn! 253 00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:10,880 Is that her? 254 00:11:12,720 --> 00:11:14,040 Yeah. 255 00:11:15,320 --> 00:11:17,680 Oh, well, but she was a lot better back in the day. 256 00:11:17,680 --> 00:11:18,920 Blimey. 257 00:11:18,920 --> 00:11:21,360 She's had her ups and downs and she's had kids 258 00:11:21,360 --> 00:11:23,200 and she struggled a bit in her forties, 259 00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:25,640 but no, she was really something. 260 00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:27,880 Seriously, my mates were spitting feathers when I got 261 00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:29,120 to have a go on her. 262 00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:32,400 There was this kind of crackle of sexual electricity around her. 263 00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:36,440 You finished? 264 00:11:36,440 --> 00:11:37,560 Yeah. 265 00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:41,400 Sorry. 266 00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:43,680 - Do you know my Uncle Derek? - 'Course I do. 267 00:11:43,680 --> 00:11:46,040 - All right, Dell? - Yeah, good, yeah. 268 00:11:46,040 --> 00:11:47,520 Ryan, we're going upstairs. 269 00:11:47,520 --> 00:11:50,560 On the up, on the up. Been better, been worse. 270 00:11:50,560 --> 00:11:52,840 - This is my partner, Pauline. - Oh, hello. 271 00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:54,720 Nice to meet you. I've heard a lot about you. 272 00:11:54,720 --> 00:11:56,040 How funny! 273 00:11:56,040 --> 00:11:58,000 Because I've never, ever heard of you. 274 00:11:59,360 --> 00:12:01,920 Well, come on then. Tell me everything. How did you two meet? 275 00:12:01,920 --> 00:12:04,480 - Well, it's funny, we actually met in the... - Derek. 276 00:12:05,520 --> 00:12:07,600 - I wasn't going to tell her the real story. - Right. 277 00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:09,400 Hi, Lyn, happy Easter. 278 00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:10,760 Happy Easter. 279 00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:12,640 I've got Keith's in the car so I won't stop. 280 00:12:12,640 --> 00:12:14,960 Cleaning on Easter Sunday? 281 00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:17,240 I'm going to shock you, Lyn - I'm getting a new carpet. 282 00:12:17,240 --> 00:12:20,280 - Oh, blimey! How many years has that been then?! - I know! 283 00:12:21,680 --> 00:12:23,480 - You OK? - Stop showing off. 284 00:12:24,920 --> 00:12:26,360 How am I showing off? 285 00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:32,400 Derek! 286 00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:34,480 - How's the twins? - Yeah, good thanks. 287 00:12:34,480 --> 00:12:36,080 Kimberley's just had a baby. 288 00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:37,520 Oh, congratulations. 289 00:12:37,520 --> 00:12:39,440 Fantastic. She's a granny. 290 00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:42,040 Yes. 291 00:12:42,040 --> 00:12:43,960 But they're staying with us at the moment 292 00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:45,760 and the baby doesn't stop screaming. 293 00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:49,240 - Oh, no. Is he crying himself to sleep? - Yeah, but... 294 00:12:49,240 --> 00:12:52,200 Well, I cried myself to sleep every night until I was four. 295 00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:53,440 Never did me any harm. 296 00:12:55,560 --> 00:12:58,120 Oh, well that's for you. 297 00:12:58,120 --> 00:12:59,960 Oh, lovely. 298 00:12:59,960 --> 00:13:02,600 - Thanks, Lyn. - And there's a... 299 00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:03,960 South Africa. 300 00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:06,160 You've been to South Africa, haven't you? 301 00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:07,480 How many times? 302 00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:09,120 Oh, two, three. 303 00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:10,360 I lose count. 304 00:13:12,120 --> 00:13:13,240 And that's for Jason. 305 00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:16,360 Oh, that's so lovely, thank you, thanks, Lyn. 306 00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:17,960 Oh, you're very welcome. 307 00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:19,320 - And these are for your lot. - Oh! 308 00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:22,040 I've got a little book for the baby. 309 00:13:22,040 --> 00:13:24,120 - Ohhh! - For George and a card for... 310 00:13:24,120 --> 00:13:27,000 - Thank you. - Where's that gone? 311 00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:29,760 Ah. Here we are. 312 00:13:29,760 --> 00:13:31,920 And a little something for you and Keith. 313 00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:35,680 Oh, bloody hell. That'll stop him moaning about his hips! 314 00:13:35,680 --> 00:13:38,000 You know what he'll be after later. 315 00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:39,920 And it won't be another episode of Lewis! 316 00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:42,800 Oh, did you see Lewis last night? 317 00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:44,560 No. I was helping Kelly with her... 318 00:13:44,560 --> 00:13:46,280 No, I didn't see it either. 319 00:13:46,280 --> 00:13:47,440 Sorry, love? 320 00:13:47,440 --> 00:13:50,640 No, I was just saying we didn't see this "Lewis" programme either. 321 00:13:50,640 --> 00:13:53,160 - Did we? - No. No. - We only watch BBC Four. 322 00:13:53,160 --> 00:13:56,880 Documentaries, the Proms, anything with subtitles. 323 00:13:56,880 --> 00:13:59,720 - What channel was it on? - ITV3. 324 00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:02,360 ITV3. Yes. 325 00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:07,120 How lucky we all are to have so many ITV channels. 326 00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:09,080 Well, lovely to meet you, eh...? 327 00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:12,400 - Lyn. - Lyn. Yes. Of course. 328 00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:14,200 Is that short for anything? 329 00:14:15,240 --> 00:14:17,640 - Linda. - Such a pretty name. 330 00:14:20,640 --> 00:14:22,920 - Yeah, it's good BBC Four. - Yeah. Yeah. 331 00:14:22,920 --> 00:14:25,880 Yeah, no, it's, erm, informative. 332 00:14:25,880 --> 00:14:29,560 It's quite good to have on just before you go to sleep. 333 00:14:31,760 --> 00:14:33,600 I'll get a glass of water, if that's OK? 334 00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:35,680 Yeah, do you mind helping yourself? 335 00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:38,320 I'm just going to go and find that card for George... 336 00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:44,880 I am heading off, mate, so. 337 00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:48,800 Cheer me up, Michael. Say something nice. 338 00:14:50,520 --> 00:14:52,680 Oh, OK. Erm... 339 00:14:54,760 --> 00:14:57,720 Do you reckon they've saved the mountain gorilla from extinction? 340 00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:02,000 - Have they? - Yeah. - That is nice. 341 00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:08,200 I actually... I actually meant say something nice about me. 342 00:15:10,480 --> 00:15:12,880 Oh! Oh, sorry. Of course. 343 00:15:12,880 --> 00:15:14,040 Of course. 344 00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:18,880 This looks very smart. 345 00:15:18,880 --> 00:15:20,120 Really? 346 00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:21,360 Yeah. 347 00:15:21,360 --> 00:15:23,280 Pauline got it off the internet. 348 00:15:23,280 --> 00:15:25,000 Yes, really good fit. 349 00:15:26,160 --> 00:15:28,000 I like that bit. 350 00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:31,000 - Very nice. - I usually put a pen in there. 351 00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:32,720 Like they do at the end of the news. 352 00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:36,520 Yeah. Definitely. 353 00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:39,160 Yeah. Makes me feel a bit more sophisticated. 354 00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:40,600 Yeah. 355 00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:46,080 You're a good friend, you know that? 356 00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:51,640 Pauline, babe... 357 00:15:55,360 --> 00:15:57,600 What do you mean he rose from the dead? 358 00:15:57,600 --> 00:15:59,480 - He rose from the dead, babe. - Yeah. He did. 359 00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:01,880 He was dead and then he came back to life again. 360 00:16:01,880 --> 00:16:04,440 - Well, that's obviously bollocks. - Can I have some? 361 00:16:04,440 --> 00:16:07,480 Do you mean he "rose from the dead" though? 362 00:16:07,480 --> 00:16:10,360 He was dead and then he came back to life. 363 00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:12,720 Who's this? Jesus? 364 00:16:12,720 --> 00:16:13,920 Oh, yeah. 365 00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:16,640 They killed him on a cross and then they put him in a tomb 366 00:16:16,640 --> 00:16:19,880 and left him to it, and three days later he was right as rain. 367 00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:24,720 Bullshit. 368 00:16:24,720 --> 00:16:29,400 George, yeah. It's her first one so everything's a drama. 369 00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:35,440 Your girls OK? 370 00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:38,480 Yeah. Yeah. Still with their mum in Spain so... 371 00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:44,040 Do you see much of Abi? 372 00:16:44,040 --> 00:16:45,600 As little as I can. 373 00:16:50,920 --> 00:16:52,640 Do you think she'll get that pond? 374 00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:55,640 No. Doubt it. 375 00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:02,120 What are you doing here on Easter Sunday? 376 00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:03,720 CATH: Found it! 377 00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:05,520 Oh, I'm going to head off, Cath. 378 00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:07,640 Oh, OK, love. Thanks for coming round. 379 00:17:07,640 --> 00:17:08,880 I should get back to Keith. 380 00:17:11,520 --> 00:17:15,680 - I hope that's water! - Yes, it is - sadly... 381 00:17:15,680 --> 00:17:18,120 - So, what is it you do, Lyn? - Pauline! 382 00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:19,600 I work in the library. 383 00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:21,000 Oh, interesting. 384 00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:23,720 I once read a book that was 1,000 pages long. 385 00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:26,760 - Wow. Well done. - It took me a year. 386 00:17:27,840 --> 00:17:29,480 Lyn reads tonnes of books, don't you? 387 00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:31,200 And you'll never beat her at Scrabble. 388 00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:32,640 She knows all the long words. 389 00:17:32,640 --> 00:17:35,840 - It's not hard to beat Cathy at Scrabble... - Oi! 390 00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:37,480 I'm not sure about long words. 391 00:17:37,480 --> 00:17:41,480 - No? - No. I tend to find them inconsequentially homogenous. 392 00:17:42,480 --> 00:17:43,800 Shall I... 393 00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:45,080 Thanks. 394 00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:47,360 Well, very nice to meet you at last. 395 00:17:47,360 --> 00:17:49,880 Take care of the big fella. 396 00:17:49,880 --> 00:17:52,880 Oh, you should have seen him when he was 17! 397 00:17:52,880 --> 00:17:54,600 Funny little thing, he was. 398 00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:56,160 Oh, Lyn. 399 00:17:56,160 --> 00:18:00,240 17! When I was 17, I was sleeping with my teachers. 400 00:18:01,640 --> 00:18:04,040 Let me know when you get back from France. 401 00:18:08,480 --> 00:18:10,920 France! I love France. 402 00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:13,400 They've got like four different types of Kronenburg. 403 00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:20,320 - Was that OK? - Yes. It was lovely to meet her. 404 00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:24,240 Your teachers? 405 00:18:24,240 --> 00:18:25,720 Yes. 406 00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:32,400 There's no need for it, obviously, but, erm... 407 00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:35,040 It's actually it's quite nice that you're a bit sort of jealous. 408 00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:39,760 The only person I'm jealous of is the person I was before I met you. 409 00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:49,160 The only... Hm. 410 00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:54,560 The only person she's jealous of is... 411 00:18:57,280 --> 00:18:59,720 Hey, that's not very nice. 412 00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:02,000 No, I don't mind doing the front room. 413 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:03,800 You need to see your mum at Easter. 414 00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:05,520 Yeah. 415 00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:07,960 It's hard to choose between being there for your family 416 00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:09,320 or being there for your friends. 417 00:19:11,120 --> 00:19:13,400 That was really deep. 418 00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:15,560 What, did you get that from a book or...? 419 00:19:15,560 --> 00:19:17,520 No, I thought of it myself. 420 00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:19,360 Really? 421 00:19:19,360 --> 00:19:22,760 I just wanted to do what's best for your mum, you know? 422 00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:25,480 I know. You're a such a good friend. 423 00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:29,320 Yeah. So, if you need me to stay or...? 424 00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:33,280 I mean sometimes, in situations like these, 425 00:19:33,280 --> 00:19:35,880 you just have to look into your heart and do what feels right. 426 00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:40,160 You should get these down, mate. They are gold. 427 00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:41,360 Thanks. 428 00:19:41,360 --> 00:19:43,880 You got any others? 429 00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:45,760 Erm... 430 00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:48,640 If you believe in something, stick to it. 431 00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:52,640 You may not get there, but the journey will be incredible. 432 00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:56,680 I don't like that one. 433 00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:00,120 Before I got with you I didn't know anything. 434 00:20:00,120 --> 00:20:02,240 Oh, I remember, Derek, don't you worry. 435 00:20:02,240 --> 00:20:05,280 You taught me everything. The capital cities. 436 00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:07,880 Which shaped glass to use for which drink. 437 00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:09,760 It's not squash it's cordial. 438 00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:11,720 And, also, Weetabix. 439 00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:12,920 Wash the bowl straightaway 440 00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:15,040 because the longer you leave it, he worse it gets. 441 00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:19,480 You've changed my life, darling. 442 00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:23,440 And I've changed your life... 443 00:20:25,080 --> 00:20:28,480 - ..haven't I? - Yes, Derek. You certainly have. 444 00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:32,000 - FRONT DOOR OPENS - Well, happy Easter, Cathy! 445 00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:33,720 Oh, Happy Easter. 446 00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:37,520 - You look nice in that. - Oh. OK. 447 00:20:37,520 --> 00:20:39,400 I think you're really pretty. 448 00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:41,920 Oh, thanks. 449 00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:43,840 I find it a bit confusing. 450 00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:51,200 Have a lovely day on your own. 451 00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:54,520 - I will. - But if you touch my Easter eggs, I'll kill you. 452 00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:57,160 THEY LAUGH 453 00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:04,360 No, seriously. Don't touch my Easter eggs. 454 00:21:04,360 --> 00:21:06,240 I won't, love. 455 00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:10,360 No, but, seriously, Cathy. Don't touch my Easter eggs. 456 00:21:10,360 --> 00:21:14,040 Seriously. Because I'll know. 457 00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:15,360 OK. 458 00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:22,200 No, but just, seriously, don't even think about touching them. Please. 459 00:21:22,200 --> 00:21:24,760 Because I really don't want to get mad at you. 460 00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:27,640 I promise you I won't go anywhere near your Easter eggs. 461 00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:29,000 Cool. 462 00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:30,680 Bye. 463 00:21:30,680 --> 00:21:31,840 Bye, Mum. 464 00:21:31,840 --> 00:21:33,120 Bye, love. 465 00:21:33,120 --> 00:21:35,640 Bye, guys! Enjoy your me-time! 466 00:21:35,640 --> 00:21:37,200 I will. 467 00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:40,520 - You forgot these. - Oh, yeah! 468 00:21:43,120 --> 00:21:44,640 Oh, please. 469 00:21:44,640 --> 00:21:47,200 Give it ten years, he'll be knee deep in his secretary. 470 00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:49,760 - Pauline! - Not all men are like that. 471 00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:51,160 The good-looking ones are. 472 00:21:52,360 --> 00:21:54,120 Well, I've never cheated on anyone. 473 00:21:56,840 --> 00:21:58,720 - I'm just going to, erm... - Yes. 474 00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:03,720 - You all right? - Yeah. 475 00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:06,000 - Nice to see Lyn. - Yeah. 476 00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:07,920 It's funny really bec... 477 00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:09,360 One minute. 478 00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:26,680 - What was funny? - No, no, I was just thinking - Lyn, a grandma. 479 00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:28,120 Of all people. 480 00:22:28,120 --> 00:22:29,560 Yeah. 481 00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:33,520 Kelly was going to get me a pair. 482 00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:35,160 Oh, right. 483 00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:42,840 Did Lyn have much to say? 484 00:22:43,880 --> 00:22:49,360 - No. Keith was in the car so... And Pauline was being funny. - Why? 485 00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:53,560 Derek and Lyn had a little thing, didn't they? Ages ago. 486 00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:55,200 After you split up with her. 487 00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:59,520 Oh, they did, they did! 488 00:22:59,520 --> 00:23:01,200 But that was 40 years ago. 489 00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:05,280 Oh, I know. Like he'd still have feelings for her after 40 years. 490 00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:12,400 - Are you going to head off to your mum then? - Yeah. Yeah. I should. 491 00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:15,760 Jason and Kelly are going to clear out the room tomorrow. 492 00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:17,480 Yeah. That's nice of them, isn't it? 493 00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:18,640 Yeah. 494 00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:22,520 They're going to a party at Kelly's auntie. 495 00:23:22,520 --> 00:23:25,160 Do you remember that Easter me and Dave had a big party? 496 00:23:26,560 --> 00:23:28,520 I do, it got messy. 497 00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:31,960 I fell asleep there. 498 00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:39,120 Yeah. I was thinking, though, actually... 499 00:23:40,560 --> 00:23:43,600 ..it was nice of Jason and Kelly to think of us. 500 00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:46,520 - Oh, very nice. - Yeah. 501 00:23:49,080 --> 00:23:51,520 I mean, in fact, you know, 502 00:23:51,520 --> 00:23:56,920 it was so nice, I was thinking it would be nice if we thought of them. 503 00:23:59,760 --> 00:24:04,200 - OK. - And maybe saved them the bother of saving us 504 00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:07,040 the bother of clearing out the front room. 505 00:24:10,720 --> 00:24:13,160 But Jason seems very keen on doing it. 506 00:24:15,200 --> 00:24:16,920 Yeah. 507 00:24:16,920 --> 00:24:18,160 Yeah. 508 00:24:19,720 --> 00:24:22,800 And, obviously, you know if you need to see your sister... 509 00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:24,280 No, no. 510 00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:28,120 - If it's a time for families... - No. They'd just annoy me. 511 00:24:28,120 --> 00:24:29,400 SHE LAUGHS 512 00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:34,000 Well, we should do it, then. Save them the bother. 513 00:24:35,280 --> 00:24:38,200 It's either that or I sit on the sofa and decompose. 514 00:24:42,120 --> 00:24:45,480 - Do you mind? - No. No. 515 00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:52,040 Well, it might be nice, two of us. No-one to get in the way. 516 00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:53,520 Yeah. 517 00:24:58,480 --> 00:25:01,280 - Yes, of course! - Great. Thanks. 518 00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:04,560 Absolutely. Yes. No problem at all. The more, the merrier. 519 00:25:04,560 --> 00:25:07,880 - You sure? There was a bit of a silence there. - No! No. Not at all. 520 00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:10,640 - Was there? - No! No! - We've got to wait for the AA. 521 00:25:10,640 --> 00:25:13,240 - And I am not getting on a bus. - You can't expect Pauline 522 00:25:13,240 --> 00:25:15,320 - to get on a bus. - If I want to catch a disease, 523 00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:17,240 I'll get on a bus, but until that day... 524 00:25:17,240 --> 00:25:18,560 SHE LAUGHS 525 00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:20,440 So, it's OK if we stay? You didn't have any plans? 526 00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:24,160 - No. No. No plans at all. - Great! 527 00:25:24,160 --> 00:25:26,240 Well, this is going to be a bit of a busman's holiday. 528 00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:28,880 - I'm not touching anything dusty. - OK, I'll do all the dusty stuff. 529 00:25:28,880 --> 00:25:32,960 Steve at work has actually got a dust allergy, so anything dusty... 530 00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:46,480 # I got my ticket for the long way round 531 00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:49,440 # Two bottles of whisky for the way 532 00:25:49,440 --> 00:25:53,360 # And I sure would like some sweet company 533 00:25:53,360 --> 00:25:56,680 # And I'm leaving tomorrow, what do you say? 534 00:25:56,680 --> 00:26:01,440 # When I'm gone, when I'm gone 535 00:26:01,440 --> 00:26:04,280 # You're gonna miss me when I'm gone 536 00:26:04,280 --> 00:26:06,080 # You're gonna miss me by my hair 537 00:26:06,080 --> 00:26:09,080 # You're gonna miss me everywhere, oh 538 00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:11,600 ? You're gonna miss me when I'm gone. ? 539 00:26:11,650 --> 00:26:16,200 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 40579

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