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This programme contains some strong language.
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- You all right?
- Yeah.
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- I'm just looking at how fat all these women have got.
- Nice.
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TABLE SQUEAKS
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- It's wobbly, isn't it?
- Yeah.
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I'm worried it's going to break.
7
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- I can't believe you're 60.
- Oh, I know, I know.
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If I met you for the first time I'd be like,
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"That woman is no older than 58."
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- Thanks, love.
- That's all right.
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No, it does feel strange, though. Seems like only yesterday I was 18.
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Yeah.
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It wasn't only yesterday, though, was it, Cathy?
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No.
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It was 42 years ago.
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- Do you want to get off that table, love?
- Erm...
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No, I'm good, thanks.
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So what age is it when you get the old lady smell?
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- What was that?
- Erm...
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- Doesn't matter.
- It's funny turning 60.
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- Yeah?
- Yeah.
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I was saying to someone the other day.
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Someone was being really annoying
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and asking me loads of questions about my birthday.
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It was one of those people
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that always manages to say the wrong thing and you've just got to try
27
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and find a way of biting your tongue.
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Oh, yes! It was, um...
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- No-one.
- No, go on, who was it?
30
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No, it was no-one, Kelly, honestly.
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- You all right, love?
- Yeah.
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I've got, like, eight WhatsApps I need to reply to
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- and it's sort of getting me down.
- Oh, dear. - Mm.
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Why don't you just reply to them?
35
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When?
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I'm so busy.
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What time's the carvery booked for?
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2.30.
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Your nan and grandad are picking us up around 2.00, so...
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Oh, wow!
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Kelly did it.
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- Kel!
- Coming!
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No way!
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- Kelly, I'm showing Mum the banner!
- I'm coming!
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- She's enormous.
- Kel, I'm showing Mum the banner!
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I'm coming!
47
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Kelly, I got the banner out!
48
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Kelly!
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I'm not being annoying, babe, I'm showing my mum the banner!
50
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If I say I'm coming...
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Kelly!
52
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..it means I'm coming.
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- She loves it.
- Really?
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Yeah, it's amazing, Kelly. Thank you.
55
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I did a big number 60 so everyone could see how old you are.
56
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Great.
57
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And that's, uh...?
58
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- Skull and crossbones. Yeah.
- Yeah.
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I was trying to capture a sense of the passing of time.
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Well, it's definitely done that.
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Shall we put it in the kitchen?
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I don't want the whole street knowing how old I am.
63
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What?
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THEY LAUGH
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What?
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- I knew something was going on.
- Here she is, big sis!
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- Happy birthday!
- Thank you.
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- I thought we were going to see you down the pub?
- There's more to me
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- than meets the eye.
- There really isn't.
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# I got my ticket for the long way round
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? Two bottle whisky for the way... ?
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You rotten lot!
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Here.
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# Oh, I'm leaving tomorrow, what do you say?
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- # When I'm gone
- When I'm gone
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- # When I'm gone
- When I'm gone
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# You're gonna miss me when I'm gone
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# You're gonna miss me by my hair
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# You're gonna miss me everywhere
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# You're gonna miss me when I'm gone
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# I got my ticket for the long way round
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# The one with the prettiest view
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# It's got mountains, it's got rivers
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# It's got woods that'll give you shivers
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# But it sure would be prettier with you
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- # When I'm gone
- When I'm gone
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- # When I'm gone
- When I'm gone
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? You're gonna miss me when I'm gone. ?
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- You all right?
- Yes, Cathy, I'm all right.
90
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- Derek said you were playing badminton.
- Indeed.
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I was supposed to be playing with Rosalind Hampton-Jones.
92
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Her husband's Sir Nicholas Hampton-Jones.
93
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Oh, yes, I think you've mentioned them before.
94
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- Her nephew was at primary school with Kate Middleton.
- That's it.
95
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But apparently, when she was four,
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Middleton was thick as shit.
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She pissed herself on a swing, she couldn't ride a bike
98
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and her spelling was a fucking car crash.
99
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- Well, it hasn't held her back, has it?
- Hmm.
100
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Oh, you didn't need to bring any cake, I've made one.
101
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Yes, I thought you might.
102
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- Good carvery, is it?
- Oh, yeah, it's amazing.
103
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- What kind of potatoes?
- Boiled, roasted, mash.
104
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- Yeah.
- Oh, fantastic - I love potatoes. - Yeah?
105
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I often think I could give it all up and sell the business,
106
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move to Ireland and start a potato farm.
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Ho-ho, I'll be in my element.
108
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Hello?
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Anyone?
110
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- What is it we're going for?
- Carvery. - Carvery, yes.
111
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You'll have to help me a little, Cathy, I've never been to a, uh...
112
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- Carvery.
- Carvery, yes.
113
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Well, you've got a treat in store.
114
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It's like a big roast dinner but with four different meats.
115
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Four different meats? How sophisticated.
116
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And do the waiters carve at the table, or...?
117
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No, there's no waiters, you just queue.
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- In a restaurant?
- Well, it's more like a pub, really.
119
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You help yourself to veg, there's three types of potato,
120
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- and for dessert we get ice cream because it's all-you-can-eat.
- Sorry.
121
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No.
122
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OK, this is, uh...
123
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Derek?
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- I hear we're going for a carvery.
- Yeah.
125
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There's four different meats and three types of potato,
126
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but you can go through the vegetable bit as often as you like.
127
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I'm just going to, erm...
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Three types of potato!
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Are you out of your fucking mind?
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Roasted, boiled, dauphinoise...
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Come on, Pauline.
132
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Dauphinoise?
133
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- Seeing a flat on Thursday.
- Oh, great, love.
134
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Yeah. It's only down the road so we can still come here for our dinner.
135
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Good.
136
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Michael's just pulled up.
137
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- Oh, has he?
- Yeah.
138
00:07:55,280 --> 00:08:00,000
- You know Debbie, Kelly's cousin?
- Yeah. - Goes out with Ryan?
139
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- Black hair.
- Yeah, I know who she is, love. - Yeah, she was saying that,
140
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like, Michael's got a bit of a thing for you.
141
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LAUGHING: Yeah?
142
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And I was like, "He wishes!
143
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"Like Mum would ever go near him!"
144
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Cathy? Michael's here.
145
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She knows, babe, I told her.
146
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Babe? Can you tell your mum Michael's here?
147
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She knows, babe, I told her.
148
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LOUD POP, HE SHRIEKS
149
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Jesus Christ!
150
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HE CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY
151
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- Hello?
- Hello, Michael, mate. New shirt?
152
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Yeah.
153
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- You OK?
- Yeah, good, actually, yeah.
154
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- I cut my toenails this morning.
- Ah, great.
155
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Yeah, got a lot more room in my socks.
156
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- Good feeling.
- One of the best, mate. One of the best.
157
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- Hello, Michael.
- Hi.
158
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- I like your shirt.
- Thanks.
159
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- You had a nice morning?
- Yeah.
160
00:09:10,680 --> 00:09:14,800
- Er...my mum's having problems with her gutters again.
- Oh.
161
00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:17,480
So, er, yeah, I cleaned out the hopper,
162
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fitted a new stop end, replaced some of the brackets
163
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that are coming away and then cleaned out the downpipes.
164
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There was a lot of leaves and muck and stuff,
165
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but good to get it all out.
166
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Hm.
167
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Do you want to have a look at how fat all these women have got?
168
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Maybe later?
169
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Can I go now?
170
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- Yeah.
- Thanks.
171
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We haven't done our scratchcards, babe.
172
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Oh, I forgot about the scratchcards!
173
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Scratchcards? I am really good at scratchcards.
174
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INDISTINCT CHATTER IN LIVING ROOM
175
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- Happy birthday.
- Oh, hello.
176
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New shirt?
177
00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:14,280
- Yeah.
- Straight out of the packet?
178
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- Of course.
- Classy.
179
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Do my best.
180
00:10:19,360 --> 00:10:21,160
Guess what I've made.
181
00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:24,840
- Oh, no.
- Victoria sponge. - Don't make me eat it.
182
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I was going to make a great big chocolate one
183
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but I couldn't be arsed.
184
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Take your time.
185
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No need to rush, you've got all the time in the world.
186
00:10:43,680 --> 00:10:45,240
Think positively.
187
00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:47,760
You've got to think nice things to get nice things.
188
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That's how I got Pauline.
189
00:10:58,080 --> 00:10:59,160
You?
190
00:11:00,320 --> 00:11:02,560
No.
191
00:11:02,560 --> 00:11:04,600
No.
192
00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:08,640
Oh, well. Don't worry, buy another one tomorrow.
193
00:11:08,640 --> 00:11:12,320
I just thought I'd bring the presents round before we, er...
194
00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:15,120
- Oh, thanks, Michael.
- You've not seen them yet.
195
00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:17,760
It's just a bottle of beer and a toilet roll.
196
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Wouldn't surprise me.
197
00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:22,560
Right, well, I'll just use your loo, then.
198
00:11:22,560 --> 00:11:24,120
Er...
199
00:11:24,120 --> 00:11:25,680
You didn't need to know that.
200
00:11:25,680 --> 00:11:29,120
And then I'll go and get all the presents from the car.
201
00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:31,280
"All the presents"?
202
00:11:32,640 --> 00:11:34,840
- Yeah.
- Wow.
203
00:11:34,840 --> 00:11:37,480
- I wouldn't get excited.
- No, I'm not.
204
00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:40,560
- I mean, it's you, isn't it? So...
- Yeah. Well, I'll, er...
205
00:11:42,720 --> 00:11:46,600
- It's quicker that way.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
206
00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:08,040
Oh, for God's sake. I mean, honestly. Jesus Christ!
207
00:12:09,640 --> 00:12:12,680
- What've they done to the house?
- They've decorated it.
208
00:12:12,680 --> 00:12:15,360
- Why?
- Because they're fucking idiots.
209
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,280
All right, Nan, Grandad?
210
00:12:17,280 --> 00:12:20,000
- What's happened to your head?
- Nothing, I'm fine.
211
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:22,280
- I wasn't out for long.
- What's that?
212
00:12:22,280 --> 00:12:23,600
A banana.
213
00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:27,160
What the fuck are you eating one of them for?
214
00:12:27,160 --> 00:12:29,320
- Look at that one.
- No.
215
00:12:29,320 --> 00:12:32,520
- Same person five years later.
- No.
216
00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:35,840
What a monster.
217
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What a beast.
218
00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:39,440
I think this one's quite sad, actually,
219
00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:42,720
- cos I think she had a breakdown.
- I can't look at that.
220
00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:47,000
And that's her...20 years ago.
221
00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:53,480
What a big...fat...lazy bitch.
222
00:12:54,520 --> 00:12:58,240
- Happy birthday, Cathy.
- Thanks, Reg. - How old are you?
223
00:12:58,240 --> 00:13:00,280
60.
224
00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:02,400
- Sorry to hear that.
- Thanks!
225
00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:05,280
- Happy birthday, Cathy.
- Thanks, Maureen.
226
00:13:05,280 --> 00:13:07,600
Give her her present. It's in the bag.
227
00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:09,960
- Which bag, Nan?
- The yellow one.
228
00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:16,040
What happened to your head, Reg?
229
00:13:16,040 --> 00:13:18,960
She wants me to see a doctor just because I slipped in the shower
230
00:13:18,960 --> 00:13:22,000
and I've had occasional bouts of sickness and memory loss.
231
00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:25,760
And occasional bouts of sickness and memory loss.
232
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HE MUTTERS
233
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TOILET FLUSHES
234
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CATHY: Oh, shit.
235
00:13:51,560 --> 00:13:54,000
INDISTINCT CHATTER DOWNSTAIRS
236
00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:57,840
- REG:
- Cathy? We're going to the Toby, are we?
237
00:13:57,840 --> 00:14:00,560
- Yeah, the one in Buckhurst Hill.
- Right.
238
00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:05,280
So you go left out of the house...
239
00:14:05,280 --> 00:14:07,160
Are you listening?!
240
00:14:07,160 --> 00:14:10,840
- Yes! Bloody hell, I'm just helping Maureen.
- Left out of the house.
241
00:14:10,840 --> 00:14:12,480
No need to shout. Blimey, Reg.
242
00:14:12,480 --> 00:14:16,320
- You go down the end of the road, you turn left.
- You turn right!
243
00:14:16,320 --> 00:14:17,840
Oh, don't get involved.
244
00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:19,800
You go through Woodford.
245
00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:22,320
- Woodford?!
- Michael, how do we get to the carvery?
246
00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:24,160
- New shirt?
- Yeah.
247
00:14:25,360 --> 00:14:27,760
You should have ironed it.
248
00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:31,360
- Yep.
- So it's left out of the house, left at the end of the road,
249
00:14:31,360 --> 00:14:35,200
- left onto Chingford Lane.
- And then right at the roundabout.
250
00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:39,160
- Roundabout?!
- Left out of the house, left at the end of the road
251
00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:42,040
and right onto Chingford Lane.
252
00:14:42,040 --> 00:14:43,960
My right or your right?
253
00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:49,160
- It's just a right.
- Yeah, but is it your right or her right or my right?
254
00:14:49,160 --> 00:14:52,160
Well, it's just a right. It's everybody's right.
255
00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:54,280
It's everybody's right to do what?
256
00:14:54,280 --> 00:14:56,160
Do you want to put your phone down, love?
257
00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:59,000
I feel like maybe you're not listening properly.
258
00:15:01,760 --> 00:15:03,440
Then instead of going left,
259
00:15:03,440 --> 00:15:06,440
you go right towards Highams Park.
260
00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:10,120
You stupid bastard.
261
00:15:10,120 --> 00:15:12,960
Highams Park!
262
00:15:12,960 --> 00:15:14,480
What?
263
00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:16,800
You silly prick.
264
00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:20,200
- You all right, mate?
- Yeah.
265
00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:22,720
Just popping out to the car to get some presents for your mum.
266
00:15:22,720 --> 00:15:25,040
That's nice of ya. You know,
267
00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:29,520
people take the piss out of ya, but you're a good bloke.
268
00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:31,480
Do they?
269
00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:33,320
Don't like it when you laugh at me.
270
00:15:33,320 --> 00:15:35,320
HE LAUGHS
271
00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:38,560
I might not look it but I'm actually quite sensitive.
272
00:15:38,560 --> 00:15:41,000
Highams Park!
273
00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:43,760
Highams Park!
274
00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:48,640
- Some Milk Tray, a plant and a Now album.
- Oh, very nice.
275
00:15:48,640 --> 00:15:51,760
Well, it's not every day she's 60. What you got her?
276
00:15:51,760 --> 00:15:55,640
- Ah, not much, you know.
- Nice motor. - Thanks.
277
00:15:57,840 --> 00:16:01,520
Yeah, just some bits and pieces to keep her busy.
278
00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:03,360
It looks more than it is.
279
00:16:05,040 --> 00:16:07,000
All these are for my mum?
280
00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:10,800
Erm...
281
00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:12,560
Did you like your presents?
282
00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:14,800
Yes, of course, they're lovely.
283
00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:16,760
Hm.
284
00:16:16,760 --> 00:16:18,720
I was going to make one of Dave
285
00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:22,360
but I thought it might be weird because he's dead.
286
00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:23,800
Yeah.
287
00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:28,920
You OK, love?
288
00:16:32,520 --> 00:16:35,200
We're like best friends, aren't we?
289
00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:39,640
Well, not like friends, but, like... I'm in love with you?
290
00:16:39,640 --> 00:16:42,800
- OK.
- Because you know age doesn't matter.
291
00:16:42,800 --> 00:16:44,440
But it does, obviously,
292
00:16:44,440 --> 00:16:48,160
cos no-one's going to give a job to a baby or an old person.
293
00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:50,520
Do you want to talk about something?
294
00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:52,280
SHE SIGHS HEAVILY
295
00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:55,560
I've just got all of these thoughts.
296
00:16:55,560 --> 00:16:58,360
I'm not very good at, like, turning them into, like...
297
00:16:58,360 --> 00:16:59,960
It's OK, love.
298
00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:06,040
- No, no, but look at it like this - you open the boot...
- Yeah.
299
00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:09,600
- ..and you're saying you've got presents for my mum.
- Yeah.
300
00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:13,200
And I'm like, "There's about 20 in there." That one's massive!
301
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:14,600
Yeah, no...
302
00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:19,680
- I can see why you...
- It's a bit weird, Michael, even for you.
303
00:17:19,680 --> 00:17:21,200
No.
304
00:17:21,200 --> 00:17:23,320
These are for MY mum.
305
00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:30,800
Her fingers aren't as good any more so I wrap up her presents for her.
306
00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:36,560
- OK.
- Yeah, no, they're not for YOUR mum, they're for MY mum.
307
00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:38,760
These are for her great-grandchildren,
308
00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:40,320
my niece's kids.
309
00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:45,760
HE LAUGHS
310
00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:49,160
Oh, I see!
311
00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:51,880
Oh, I get it now. Sorry, mate.
312
00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:54,480
This...
313
00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:58,440
This is for your mum. Nice bottle of wine and, er...
314
00:17:58,440 --> 00:18:01,120
- Is that white?
- Yeah.
315
00:18:01,120 --> 00:18:03,320
- Oh, yeah, she'll like that.
- Good.
316
00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:05,720
And, er...
317
00:18:05,720 --> 00:18:07,880
Yeah, that's about it.
318
00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:11,120
- Do you want me to take that in and give it to her?
- No, it's all right.
319
00:18:13,120 --> 00:18:16,160
Sorry about that, mate.
320
00:18:16,160 --> 00:18:18,560
That's funny, that, innit?
321
00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:20,040
Yeah.
322
00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:22,800
That's going to make me chuckle, that is.
323
00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:26,920
That's like a classic misunderstanding.
324
00:18:26,920 --> 00:18:28,600
Yeah.
325
00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:42,640
But it's going to be so hard for you when you don't have me and Jason
326
00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:44,200
here to look after you.
327
00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:49,320
Oh, I guess I'll just sit in the garden, watch whatever telly I like.
328
00:18:49,320 --> 00:18:53,400
It's just going to be so, so quiet.
329
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:55,960
- Is it?
- Yeah.
330
00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:59,320
Cos me and Jason, we've, like, got each other.
331
00:18:59,320 --> 00:19:01,960
We, like, sleep together.
332
00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:04,040
We have sex.
333
00:19:04,040 --> 00:19:05,560
I've noticed.
334
00:19:05,560 --> 00:19:07,280
He's really good at it.
335
00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:09,920
I bet he gets that off you, doesn't he?
336
00:19:09,920 --> 00:19:13,720
- I bet you were really thorough back in the day.
- Go and get ready, love.
337
00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:16,600
I think it's very exciting that you and Jason are getting your own
338
00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:20,120
place - and you don't need to worry about me at all, I'll be fine.
339
00:19:20,120 --> 00:19:23,280
- Kelly, you ready?
- But I do worry about you, though.
340
00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:26,760
I think about you even when I'm thinking about other things.
341
00:19:26,760 --> 00:19:29,560
- Thanks.
- You don't have to thank me, Cathy.
342
00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:32,080
- I do it because I love you.
- Kelly.
343
00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:36,240
I was just telling your mum about how empty her life's going to be
344
00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:37,840
when we move out...
345
00:19:37,840 --> 00:19:41,960
CONVERSATION CARRIES ON INDISTINCTLY
346
00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:53,960
She works in Sainsbury's?
347
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:57,040
Yeah, she's been working there for a year or something.
348
00:19:59,040 --> 00:20:00,880
Does she get a discount?
349
00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:03,240
WHISPERING: That's what I've been wanting to ask her.
350
00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:05,600
- You all right?
- No, good, love, yeah, yeah.
351
00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:07,200
I just need to get my make-up.
352
00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:08,920
Let me get that for you.
353
00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:11,160
Oh, thanks.
354
00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:13,960
- Thank you.
- You don't need make-up.
355
00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:16,880
You're beautiful just as you are.
356
00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:18,360
Oh.
357
00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:20,920
Wow.
358
00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:24,000
Thank you.
359
00:20:25,120 --> 00:20:26,760
Thanks, Reg.
360
00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:32,760
I'll get a discount if it fucking kills me.
361
00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:37,840
There he is. Everything sorted?
362
00:20:37,840 --> 00:20:40,480
Let's have a look at all these presents, then.
363
00:20:42,120 --> 00:20:44,920
- Happy birthday.
- Oh.
364
00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:47,000
Ooh, thank you.
365
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:48,760
Wonder what this is.
366
00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:53,240
- Like I said, it's nothing, really.
- Thanks.
367
00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:55,920
That's-that's-that's... really very nice.
368
00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:01,160
Yeah, well, that's everything, so...
369
00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:04,640
No, really, that's everything.
370
00:21:07,120 --> 00:21:09,200
Oh, OK.
371
00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:11,760
- Open it, it's white.
- Yeah. Yeah.
372
00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:19,960
Ooh, yes, white.
373
00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:21,880
My favourite.
374
00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:24,320
Good. I didn't want to go overboard.
375
00:21:24,320 --> 00:21:26,520
No, no, absolutely. No.
376
00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:30,000
That's very kind of you. Thanks, Michael.
377
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:34,280
Yeah, well, I'll, uh, use your loo again. It's my age.
378
00:21:34,280 --> 00:21:37,560
- And I'll see you at the carvery?
- Yeah.
379
00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:40,960
- Thanks, that's-that's really very nice.
- Yeah.
380
00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:48,240
- You ready, Mum?
- Nearly, yeah. Um...
381
00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:55,760
I love the Happy Birthday song, don't you?
382
00:21:55,760 --> 00:21:57,680
Yeah, it's catchy.
383
00:21:57,680 --> 00:22:00,960
- Have I told you about my stick?
- You have, yes.
384
00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:03,680
I think I might go back to the park and get another one.
385
00:22:05,480 --> 00:22:08,920
- SHE CHUCKLES
- How funny.
386
00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:11,520
I've just had another text from Rosalind Hampton-Jones.
387
00:22:13,360 --> 00:22:14,920
Oh, OK.
388
00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:17,800
Her husband's a banker. Her eldest is a lawyer
389
00:22:17,800 --> 00:22:20,600
and her youngest made a fortune out of payday loans.
390
00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:23,160
They sound like a lovely bunch of people.
391
00:22:23,160 --> 00:22:26,800
So...Jason and Kelly are moving out?
392
00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:30,640
Yes. Well, they've started to look, so...
393
00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:32,920
That'll be a kick in the teeth!
394
00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:37,200
- Well...
- There's nothing like the sound of a house
395
00:22:37,200 --> 00:22:39,040
when you're the only person in it.
396
00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:45,160
- Can I, uh...?
- Yes, help yourself.
397
00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:50,880
..we could live on a houseboat.
398
00:22:50,880 --> 00:22:53,440
We're not living on a houseboat.
399
00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:56,760
- HE LAUGHS
- You're so funny, babe.
400
00:22:56,760 --> 00:22:59,520
No, but, seriously, babe - I'm not living on a houseboat.
401
00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:06,560
- I was just telling Kelly about it. I went to his car...
- Right.
402
00:23:06,560 --> 00:23:09,280
..and Michael was like, "I'll get your mum's present,"
403
00:23:09,280 --> 00:23:12,520
and I looked in his boot and it was full of presents!
404
00:23:12,520 --> 00:23:16,000
There were tonnes in there! And I was like, "What?!"
405
00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:19,760
- His boot was full of presents?
- Yeah! - How funny.
406
00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:22,640
He had loads of presents in there. I thought they were for you.
407
00:23:24,880 --> 00:23:27,600
- Are you telling her about Michael?
- Yeah.
408
00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:31,040
And he was like, "No, they're for my mum to give to her grandkids,"
409
00:23:31,040 --> 00:23:33,640
- or something, wasn't it?
- Yeah!
410
00:23:33,640 --> 00:23:37,000
And I was like, "Classic misunderstanding."
411
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:40,480
- And they were wrapped in what?
- Just birthday wrapping paper.
412
00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:42,600
- Funny.
- Yeah!
413
00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:50,120
- You find your phone?
- Yeah. It was in my hand! - Oh!
414
00:23:50,120 --> 00:23:51,800
- You coming?
- Yeah.
415
00:23:51,800 --> 00:23:53,880
No, just give me a minute.
416
00:23:55,400 --> 00:23:58,840
- You done your WhatsApps?
- No, and I got another one.
417
00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:00,400
Babe, I know you've got loads.
418
00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:03,640
- I've got nine now.
- You've got loads of them.
419
00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:06,400
Jason, mate, you coming in my car?
420
00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:14,320
- All done?
- Yeah. Should do me for the next five minutes or so.
421
00:24:14,320 --> 00:24:17,160
- You should look into nappies.
- I'm wearing one.
422
00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:20,080
Handy for journeys but I can't stand the chafing.
423
00:24:21,720 --> 00:24:23,600
Erm...
424
00:24:23,600 --> 00:24:26,640
Maybe I could come in your car?
425
00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:28,640
Pardon?
426
00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:31,560
Can I get a lift in your car?
427
00:24:31,560 --> 00:24:33,640
Really?
428
00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:35,080
Yeah.
429
00:24:36,440 --> 00:24:38,080
OK.
430
00:24:38,080 --> 00:24:39,880
Is that a problem?
431
00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:42,200
- No. No, of course not.
- Good.
432
00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:45,920
OK if I put something in your boot?
433
00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:51,520
Pardon?
434
00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:53,160
Can I put something in your boot?
435
00:24:54,560 --> 00:24:56,360
- My boot?
- Yeah.
436
00:24:58,080 --> 00:25:00,920
Yeah, of course. Yeah.
437
00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:03,640
Oh...
438
00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:07,120
No. No, boot's wet.
439
00:25:07,120 --> 00:25:09,440
- Boot's wet?
- Mm.
440
00:25:09,440 --> 00:25:11,320
Left it open last night.
441
00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:13,320
Can I have a look?
442
00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:15,240
Nah, it's too wet.
443
00:25:15,240 --> 00:25:17,520
Wow, that's wet.
444
00:25:17,520 --> 00:25:19,560
Well, it's not too wet, but...
445
00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:23,680
I mean, that's a really wet boot. I mean, too wet to even look at.
446
00:25:24,960 --> 00:25:28,400
- No, it's not too wet to look at.
- No?
447
00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:30,960
- No.
- Why'd you leave your boot open all night?
448
00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:32,520
Why do you need to look in my boot?
449
00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:38,000
# I got my ticket for the long way round
450
00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:41,160
# Two bottle whisky for the way
451
00:25:41,160 --> 00:25:44,640
# And I sure would like some sweet company
452
00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:48,640
# And I'm leaving tomorrow, what do you say?
453
00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:50,400
# When I'm gone
454
00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:52,960
# When I'm go-o-one
455
00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:55,720
# You're gonna miss me when I'm gone
456
00:25:55,720 --> 00:25:57,480
# You're gonna miss me by my hair
457
00:25:57,480 --> 00:26:00,480
# You're gonna miss me everywhere, oh
458
00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:03,520
? You're gonna miss me when I'm gone. ?
459
00:26:03,570 --> 00:26:08,120
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