All language subtitles for Mixology s01e10 Liv & Jim.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,015 --> 00:00:08,202 Bruce: This is the story of 10 strangers, 2 00:00:08,203 --> 00:00:13,469 one night, and all the stupid, embarrassing, ridiculous things we do... 3 00:00:15,091 --> 00:00:16,791 To find love. 4 00:00:20,329 --> 00:00:22,931 Seriously, I could kill her. Like, where is she? 5 00:00:22,999 --> 00:00:24,733 Why'd we get Liv get so drunk? 6 00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:25,734 Hey, there she is! 7 00:00:25,801 --> 00:00:27,769 Liv, stay there! We're coming! 8 00:00:27,837 --> 00:00:29,838 Jessica: Oh, my God, Ron. You're so funny. 9 00:00:29,906 --> 00:00:31,106 [Laughs] 10 00:00:31,173 --> 00:00:33,041 Ron: Tell me about your horrible job. 11 00:00:33,109 --> 00:00:34,809 I don't know why they call it a barn. [Gasps] 12 00:00:34,877 --> 00:00:36,878 Oh, my God! What the hell? 13 00:00:36,946 --> 00:00:38,747 Hey, no, Liv! No kissing the nice man! All right! 14 00:00:38,814 --> 00:00:39,981 Up. Up. Up. Up. 15 00:00:40,049 --> 00:00:41,683 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. She's drunk. 16 00:00:41,751 --> 00:00:43,351 She doesn't know what she's doing. She's going... [Gasps] 17 00:00:48,591 --> 00:00:50,392 Liv, did you call your fianc?? 18 00:00:50,459 --> 00:00:53,094 Because... he's here. 19 00:00:53,162 --> 00:00:55,196 [Gasps] 20 00:00:56,164 --> 00:00:59,533 Oh, crap. 21 00:00:59,568 --> 00:01:01,836 Do you think he can see me? 22 00:01:06,710 --> 00:01:09,587 Sync and corrected by thatjulio www.addic7ed.com 23 00:01:10,545 --> 00:01:12,246 What the hell are you doing? 24 00:01:12,314 --> 00:01:13,714 You must be the fianc?. 25 00:01:13,782 --> 00:01:15,249 - [Grunts] - Maya: Whoa! 26 00:01:15,317 --> 00:01:16,750 [All gasp] Oh, my God! 27 00:01:16,818 --> 00:01:19,820 - Hey, watch it, buddy. What are you... - Back off, bro! 28 00:01:19,888 --> 00:01:21,122 Oh, my God. 29 00:01:21,189 --> 00:01:23,090 Uh, Jim? 30 00:01:23,158 --> 00:01:25,059 Jim, wait! 31 00:01:26,962 --> 00:01:29,797 No, I'm okay. Thanks, everyone. Um... 32 00:01:29,865 --> 00:01:31,832 [Chuckles] Ooh. 33 00:01:31,900 --> 00:01:34,335 God, I love a Scorpion Bowl. They're so dangerous. 34 00:01:34,402 --> 00:01:36,637 Dude, remember the last time we got one of these? 35 00:01:36,705 --> 00:01:38,372 Tom got so drunk, he ran into a tree. 36 00:01:38,440 --> 00:01:40,107 [Laughing] Yeah, you moron. 37 00:01:40,175 --> 00:01:42,510 What can I say? I crashed like Crawley! [Laughs] 38 00:01:42,577 --> 00:01:45,079 Crashed like Crawley! That is genius! 39 00:01:45,147 --> 00:01:46,914 [Both laugh] What does that mean? 40 00:01:46,982 --> 00:01:49,183 Like Matthew Crawley, from "Downton Abbey," when he dies? 41 00:01:49,251 --> 00:01:50,684 Mnh. 42 00:01:50,752 --> 00:01:52,653 Matthew Crawley dies? 43 00:01:54,089 --> 00:01:57,124 Have you two been watching season three without me?! 44 00:01:57,192 --> 00:01:59,260 No. What? [Chuckles nervously] 45 00:01:59,327 --> 00:02:01,629 Oh, my God! You have! 46 00:02:03,721 --> 00:02:04,843 Look, it's not personal, 47 00:02:04,844 --> 00:02:06,966 but sometimes it's really hard to watch TV with you. 48 00:02:06,967 --> 00:02:08,813 You just make fun of everything the whole time. 49 00:02:08,814 --> 00:02:09,928 I concur. 50 00:02:10,071 --> 00:02:12,606 Okay, that's super-personal. Like when? 51 00:02:12,674 --> 00:02:15,609 Like when you said "period dramas are for people on their periods." 52 00:02:15,677 --> 00:02:18,278 [Laughs] That's awesome. 53 00:02:18,346 --> 00:02:20,614 I said that? It's funny. 54 00:02:20,682 --> 00:02:23,317 Sometimes me and Cal, we get together, and we... 55 00:02:23,384 --> 00:02:25,786 We watch TV on our own, and it's really nice. Yeah. 56 00:02:25,853 --> 00:02:28,155 Tom makes the best finger sandwiches. 57 00:02:28,222 --> 00:02:29,790 Oh, oh, does he? I'm so glad you like those. 58 00:02:29,857 --> 00:02:31,558 I really do. I really [Chuckles] 59 00:02:31,626 --> 00:02:34,795 [Chuckles] That's great. That's it. 60 00:02:34,862 --> 00:02:38,131 I am sick of carrying this team and not getting the recognition I deserve. 61 00:02:38,199 --> 00:02:41,935 I am done with you nerds. 62 00:02:42,003 --> 00:02:44,438 And I'm taking my Scorpion Bowl. Come on. 63 00:02:44,505 --> 00:02:45,939 You know we can just order another one, right? 64 00:02:46,007 --> 00:02:47,140 Where are you going? 65 00:02:47,208 --> 00:02:52,846 Well, I'm gonna go find some new friends who appreciate my skills and my talents. 66 00:02:52,914 --> 00:02:54,681 - What skills? - What talents? 67 00:02:54,749 --> 00:02:57,050 I'm very good at table tennis. 68 00:02:57,118 --> 00:02:58,285 [Laughs] 69 00:02:58,353 --> 00:03:01,688 I'm excellent at recording songs off the radio that all of us like to enjoy. 70 00:03:04,458 --> 00:03:07,227 And I'm phenomenal hugger, and you know that, Cal. 71 00:03:09,997 --> 00:03:11,998 Did he just dump us? 72 00:03:14,301 --> 00:03:17,203 - Jessica, I just wanted to say... - Please don't. 73 00:03:17,271 --> 00:03:19,072 It is a complicated situation. 74 00:03:19,140 --> 00:03:20,440 Mm, really? 75 00:03:20,508 --> 00:03:23,209 No, because you showed up drunk, you puked in my purse, 76 00:03:23,277 --> 00:03:25,445 and then you kissed another girl while I was talking to you. 77 00:03:25,513 --> 00:03:27,247 What's complicated about any of that? Yeah. 78 00:03:28,014 --> 00:03:30,082 When you list it like that, in sequential order, 79 00:03:30,150 --> 00:03:31,817 it makes me sound like a total wanker. 80 00:03:33,487 --> 00:03:36,689 Or maybe I am just... A total wanker. 81 00:03:38,458 --> 00:03:42,027 I'm really sorry. 82 00:03:42,095 --> 00:03:43,395 [Sighs] 83 00:03:43,463 --> 00:03:44,797 [Groans] 84 00:03:44,865 --> 00:03:45,865 He's so cute. 85 00:03:45,932 --> 00:03:47,466 Really? 86 00:03:49,836 --> 00:03:51,971 Jim! 87 00:03:52,038 --> 00:03:53,405 Jim! Stop! 88 00:03:53,473 --> 00:03:54,874 What's going on, Liv? 89 00:03:55,541 --> 00:04:01,246 I'm sorry. I went a little crazy tonight, but seeing you here in your vest, 90 00:04:01,314 --> 00:04:03,815 I just... I know I want to be with you. 91 00:04:03,883 --> 00:04:08,787 We're just making such a big decision, and I think I freaked out a little bit. 92 00:04:08,855 --> 00:04:12,057 The truth is, Liv and Jim were perfect for each other. 93 00:04:12,125 --> 00:04:15,994 Jim was owner and executive chef at a chic Manhattan restaurant. 94 00:04:16,062 --> 00:04:19,831 Liv loved all of Jim's food, even his head cheese soup, 95 00:04:19,899 --> 00:04:23,235 which pretty much everyone agreed was gross. 96 00:04:23,302 --> 00:04:25,504 Jim's success afforded him a sweet Manhattan apartment. 97 00:04:25,571 --> 00:04:29,841 They even had one of those TVs that comes out of the cabinet. 98 00:04:32,211 --> 00:04:33,745 Jim was the complete package. 99 00:04:33,812 --> 00:04:36,280 He was a great friend, 100 00:04:36,348 --> 00:04:38,216 he was great with kids, 101 00:04:38,283 --> 00:04:40,618 he was even great with old people. 102 00:04:40,686 --> 00:04:43,921 But most importantly, Liv and Jim were compatible... 103 00:04:43,989 --> 00:04:46,324 Like scary-compatible. 104 00:04:46,392 --> 00:04:49,938 Have you ever been to one of Jim and Liv's magic nights before? 105 00:04:49,939 --> 00:04:52,142 - Nope. - They're amazing. 106 00:04:52,143 --> 00:04:53,931 [Music plays] [Light laughter] 107 00:04:58,170 --> 00:05:00,269 Whoo! Ohh! 108 00:05:00,994 --> 00:05:02,682 Is this a joke? 109 00:05:03,185 --> 00:05:04,344 Oh! 110 00:05:04,345 --> 00:05:07,574 Welcome to Jim and Liv's magic night! 111 00:05:07,575 --> 00:05:09,061 Night, night, night, night. 112 00:05:09,062 --> 00:05:10,974 [Applause] 113 00:05:11,780 --> 00:05:13,057 I'm Jim, the Fanciful, 114 00:05:13,058 --> 00:05:16,451 and this is my beautiful assistant, Liv! 115 00:05:17,451 --> 00:05:19,177 - [Both laugh] - That's not even magic. 116 00:05:19,178 --> 00:05:21,825 - That's just a fake hand. - Man: That was good. That was good. 117 00:05:21,893 --> 00:05:26,639 For my next trick, I'm going to make my beautiful girlfriend disappear. 118 00:05:26,640 --> 00:05:27,709 Oh! 119 00:05:27,710 --> 00:05:31,023 Honey, I heard there's a sale at the shoe store. 120 00:05:31,024 --> 00:05:32,693 [Gasps] [Both laugh] 121 00:05:32,694 --> 00:05:35,601 So long! Loves shoes, this one. 122 00:05:35,602 --> 00:05:37,889 - [Applause] That was good. - I need cooler friends. 123 00:05:38,790 --> 00:05:42,111 Maybe they were a little dorky... or even a lot dorky... 124 00:05:42,179 --> 00:05:44,714 But Liv and Jim were perfect for each other. 125 00:05:44,781 --> 00:05:47,249 So perfect it sort of makes you wonder... 126 00:05:47,317 --> 00:05:49,385 What the hell was Liv thinking? 127 00:05:49,453 --> 00:05:52,421 What the hell was I thinking? 128 00:05:52,489 --> 00:05:54,790 I don't know, Liv. 129 00:05:54,858 --> 00:05:56,459 - But I'm done. - What?! 130 00:05:58,428 --> 00:05:59,595 Excuse me. 131 00:05:59,663 --> 00:06:03,265 Liv, are you okay? Hey? Hey? 132 00:06:03,333 --> 00:06:05,835 - Where's Jim going? - I don't know. 133 00:06:05,902 --> 00:06:09,205 Our apartment is uptown but he just marched off down that way, 134 00:06:09,272 --> 00:06:12,041 and I feel like he doesn't want to look silly by turning around. 135 00:06:13,543 --> 00:06:16,579 I really hurt him, Maya. 136 00:06:16,646 --> 00:06:19,148 Look at me. Look at me. 137 00:06:19,816 --> 00:06:23,552 You just dodged the biggest bullet of your life. 138 00:06:23,620 --> 00:06:25,487 Then why do I feel so bad? 139 00:06:25,555 --> 00:06:27,656 Because you're a girl, and you don't like hurting people. 140 00:06:27,724 --> 00:06:30,192 Liv, don't go wobbly on this, okay? 141 00:06:30,259 --> 00:06:33,295 Marrying Jim would have been like marrying a house plant or a piece of toast. 142 00:06:35,565 --> 00:06:37,666 I got to go get him, Maya. 143 00:06:37,734 --> 00:06:39,968 - Liv... - I want him back. 144 00:06:40,036 --> 00:06:42,504 Are you sure? 145 00:06:42,572 --> 00:06:43,672 Yeah. 146 00:06:47,310 --> 00:06:49,945 Okay, let's go get him back, then. 147 00:06:57,531 --> 00:06:58,880 [All cheering] 148 00:07:02,012 --> 00:07:04,080 Bruce: What's up, fellas? 149 00:07:04,148 --> 00:07:06,349 Uh, you mind if me and my Scorpion Bowl take a seat? 150 00:07:06,417 --> 00:07:07,750 Uh, sure! [Chuckles] 151 00:07:07,818 --> 00:07:10,620 Give me a straw, bro! Give me a straw. [Chuckles] 152 00:07:10,688 --> 00:07:12,722 Awesome, yeah. Get in there. My name is Bruce, man. 153 00:07:12,790 --> 00:07:15,954 I like big, fake boobs, deep house beats, and movies with explosions. 154 00:07:15,955 --> 00:07:18,568 [Laughter] I like this guy! Right? 155 00:07:18,569 --> 00:07:22,647 - What a find! - Yes! Yes! 156 00:07:22,648 --> 00:07:24,697 This guy's hilarious. [Laughter] 157 00:07:25,026 --> 00:07:27,967 Well, he certainly found new friends quickly. 158 00:07:27,968 --> 00:07:29,197 He opens strong. Give it time. 159 00:07:30,232 --> 00:07:32,274 I mean, I'm really having fun with just you. 160 00:07:32,342 --> 00:07:34,176 Oh, totally. This is a blast! [Chuckles] 161 00:07:41,642 --> 00:07:43,273 - [Sighs] How's your dog? - I don't have a dog. 162 00:07:43,808 --> 00:07:44,720 Hey. 163 00:07:44,787 --> 00:07:47,089 I saw what happened before. This one's on me. 164 00:07:47,456 --> 00:07:51,960 Oh, thank you, but I am heading off before my night can get any worse. 165 00:07:52,028 --> 00:07:54,095 Hey. No, no, no, no. You can't give up. 166 00:07:54,163 --> 00:07:55,196 Ask your friend. 167 00:07:55,264 --> 00:07:57,032 Oh, no. 168 00:07:57,533 --> 00:08:01,035 Look, I gave up on my music, and your friend said a lot of very mean stuff to me. 169 00:08:01,103 --> 00:08:04,972 So I picked up my guitar, and it changed my life forever... I think. 170 00:08:05,040 --> 00:08:07,375 I mean, this only happened an hour ago. 171 00:08:07,443 --> 00:08:11,045 And, I'm sorry, what does this have to do with me leaving the bar? 172 00:08:11,113 --> 00:08:12,780 It means you can't give up on your dreams 173 00:08:12,848 --> 00:08:15,616 because they always come true the second time you try them. 174 00:08:15,684 --> 00:08:16,851 Not at all what I said. 175 00:08:16,919 --> 00:08:18,786 Look, I have a break coming up in five minutes. 176 00:08:18,854 --> 00:08:21,322 So why don't you stay, have a drink? 177 00:08:22,390 --> 00:08:24,725 And then I'm gonna rock your world. 178 00:08:25,893 --> 00:08:26,760 Oh, my. 179 00:08:26,828 --> 00:08:28,862 Uh, wo... wow! 180 00:08:28,930 --> 00:08:31,298 You know what? 181 00:08:31,366 --> 00:08:32,466 Okay. 182 00:08:32,533 --> 00:08:33,800 Okay. 183 00:08:33,868 --> 00:08:34,968 Drink up. 184 00:08:35,036 --> 00:08:36,470 [Snaps fingers] 185 00:08:37,972 --> 00:08:41,408 And that is why I'm from Ohio but still love the Lakers. 186 00:08:41,476 --> 00:08:42,809 [Laughs] 187 00:08:42,877 --> 00:08:44,578 And the Lakers are...? 188 00:08:44,645 --> 00:08:46,263 - Basketball. - Yes! 189 00:08:46,264 --> 00:08:48,240 Basketball. Michael Jordan. 190 00:08:48,983 --> 00:08:50,717 Oh, yeah! I'm dying! I'm dying! 191 00:08:50,785 --> 00:08:52,052 I'm dying! I'm dying! Oh! 192 00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:54,154 God, he's killing it over there. 193 00:08:54,722 --> 00:08:56,723 And so I said to the guy, "I don't know, bro. 194 00:08:56,790 --> 00:08:59,526 That's not my cucumber." [Laughter] 195 00:08:59,593 --> 00:09:03,196 That is the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life! 196 00:09:03,264 --> 00:09:05,165 I know. I know. 197 00:09:05,232 --> 00:09:07,267 It is. Okay, okay. I got to know. Yeah? 198 00:09:07,334 --> 00:09:08,735 Do you do stand-up comedy, Bruce? 199 00:09:08,803 --> 00:09:10,804 Nah, dude. I don't really do jokes, you know what I mean? 200 00:09:11,371 --> 00:09:13,239 My comedy is more, uh, edgy and improvisational. 201 00:09:13,307 --> 00:09:14,573 Ohh. 202 00:09:14,641 --> 00:09:16,776 So, what are you doing Saturday? Your mother? 203 00:09:16,843 --> 00:09:18,844 [Laughter] He's doing your mom! 204 00:09:18,912 --> 00:09:21,213 Because I'm getting married, 205 00:09:21,281 --> 00:09:22,515 and I'd really like you to be there. 206 00:09:22,582 --> 00:09:23,616 Oh, yeah?! Really?! Yeah! 207 00:09:23,684 --> 00:09:25,017 Oh, Jeff! I'll be there! Oh! 208 00:09:25,085 --> 00:09:26,686 Oh, dude! Awesome! Yeah. 209 00:09:26,753 --> 00:09:28,807 - Well, what are we celebrating tonight? - Oh, dude! 210 00:09:28,808 --> 00:09:30,839 - It is Dave's birthday. - What?! Dave?! 211 00:09:30,840 --> 00:09:31,908 Yes, it is. It's my birthday. 212 00:09:31,909 --> 00:09:34,354 What?! This is a birthday party?! [Laughter] 213 00:09:34,355 --> 00:09:36,661 Oh, wow! You guys don't look like you're in 3rd grade! 214 00:09:36,662 --> 00:09:38,088 [Laughs] 215 00:09:39,132 --> 00:09:40,265 What do you mean, Bruce? 216 00:09:40,333 --> 00:09:42,234 Yeah, can you explain your joke, Bruce? 217 00:09:42,302 --> 00:09:43,669 You know, it's like, uh, 218 00:09:43,736 --> 00:09:46,171 aren't we a little too old to be celebrating our birthdays? 219 00:09:46,239 --> 00:09:47,773 I mean, congrats on turning 27. 220 00:09:47,840 --> 00:09:50,008 You went another year without dying! [Laughs] 221 00:09:51,411 --> 00:09:52,477 You know, what an amazing feat, 222 00:09:52,545 --> 00:09:53,812 you didn't fall down a manhole this year! 223 00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:56,581 [Laughs] Oh, you lived again? Cool. 224 00:09:56,649 --> 00:09:58,817 Loser. [Laughs] Who cares? 225 00:09:58,885 --> 00:10:00,952 I've been planning this night for three months, dude. 226 00:10:01,020 --> 00:10:02,220 Three months? 227 00:10:02,288 --> 00:10:04,619 Yeah, Dave loves his birthdays, man. Hmm. 228 00:10:04,620 --> 00:10:06,266 Yeah, maybe you should go, Bruce. 229 00:10:06,267 --> 00:10:08,189 You're actually kind of obnoxious. Yeah. 230 00:10:08,190 --> 00:10:09,783 - I miss funny Bruce. - Me, too. 231 00:10:09,784 --> 00:10:11,559 You know, yeah, I got to go, anyw... what is it? 232 00:10:11,560 --> 00:10:13,840 Whoa, I got to get out of here. I'll probably just... [Coughs] 233 00:10:13,841 --> 00:10:15,685 Yeah. [Clears throat] See you guys at Jeff's wedding. 234 00:10:15,686 --> 00:10:18,791 Yeah, I just found out we don't have room anymore. 235 00:10:18,792 --> 00:10:21,348 Oh, that's too bad, because I'm still coming, with a plus-one. 236 00:10:21,349 --> 00:10:23,784 - You're not invited. - I'm still coming, Jeff! 237 00:10:23,785 --> 00:10:25,263 - No! - Yes! 238 00:10:26,711 --> 00:10:28,679 - Jim! - He doesn't even know where he's going. 239 00:10:28,747 --> 00:10:30,414 Jim! Jim! 240 00:10:30,482 --> 00:10:31,749 I'm sorry I hurt you. 241 00:10:31,816 --> 00:10:36,387 I just got so wrapped up in my own stuff that I forgot to think about you. 242 00:10:36,454 --> 00:10:38,622 Well, it's too late. 243 00:10:39,858 --> 00:10:42,860 Look, Jim. We both know that I don't like you. 244 00:10:42,927 --> 00:10:44,828 No, I-I-I didn't know that. 245 00:10:44,896 --> 00:10:46,764 I've told you you're boring like a thousand times. 246 00:10:46,831 --> 00:10:48,899 - I thought you were kidding! - No. 247 00:10:48,967 --> 00:10:50,601 I told you she wasn't kidding. 248 00:10:50,668 --> 00:10:52,436 The point is, I don't like you. 249 00:10:53,004 --> 00:10:56,673 So, tonight, I tried to get Liv to spread her wings and live a little 250 00:10:56,741 --> 00:10:58,642 and maybe even think twice about marrying you. 251 00:10:58,709 --> 00:11:02,913 But kissing random dudes and giving guys her panties isn't who Liv is. 252 00:11:02,980 --> 00:11:05,048 You gave guys your panties? 253 00:11:05,116 --> 00:11:08,051 - Technically they were Maya's panties. - The bottom line is... 254 00:11:08,119 --> 00:11:13,790 Liv is still the same cute, dorky, awesome girl you fell in love with. 255 00:11:13,858 --> 00:11:16,126 Don't throw away everything the two of you have built 256 00:11:16,194 --> 00:11:18,261 just because I made her go crazy for one night. 257 00:11:18,329 --> 00:11:20,197 That's stupid. 258 00:11:20,264 --> 00:11:22,232 Look at her, Jim. 259 00:11:22,300 --> 00:11:24,067 She loves you. 260 00:11:26,503 --> 00:11:29,705 - I don't know why. Look at that outfit... - Okay, thank you, Maya. 261 00:11:29,773 --> 00:11:34,677 I guess... I got a little nervous about getting married, too. 262 00:11:34,745 --> 00:11:36,646 The day I proposed, 263 00:11:36,713 --> 00:11:39,448 I put a radish in a bouillabaisse. 264 00:11:39,516 --> 00:11:40,516 Whoa. 265 00:11:40,584 --> 00:11:42,752 I know. It was insane. 266 00:11:42,820 --> 00:11:47,023 Can we just go home and put on our pajamas and watch "Mike & Molly"? 267 00:11:47,090 --> 00:11:49,692 Tonight's the episode where Molly eats too much pie. 268 00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:51,160 Oh, I love that one. 269 00:11:52,429 --> 00:11:53,596 Let's go home. 270 00:11:53,664 --> 00:11:55,331 [Sighs] 271 00:11:57,801 --> 00:12:00,102 I'll get us a cab. 272 00:12:00,170 --> 00:12:02,405 You're an amazing friend. 273 00:12:06,477 --> 00:12:08,778 Bye! 274 00:12:21,842 --> 00:12:24,210 I was going to save this as a surprise, 275 00:12:24,277 --> 00:12:28,647 but I got us tickets to "La Boh?me" for next Friday. 276 00:12:28,715 --> 00:12:32,084 Ooh, the opera. How exciting. 277 00:12:32,152 --> 00:12:36,055 Oh, and they're using the original arias, so this is the extended version. 278 00:12:36,123 --> 00:12:39,692 That does sound longer. 279 00:12:43,730 --> 00:12:47,055 Gummybear? You okay? 280 00:12:48,058 --> 00:12:50,892 No, dude. Gummybear was not okay. 281 00:12:50,893 --> 00:12:53,647 Like all couples who've been dating for a while, 282 00:12:53,648 --> 00:12:56,187 Jim and Liv eventually fell into a comfortable rut. 283 00:12:56,188 --> 00:12:58,759 So Liv decided to spruce it up. 284 00:12:59,859 --> 00:13:00,845 Hey, honey? 285 00:13:00,912 --> 00:13:04,148 - Hey, Liv, look... I'm juggling! - I want to go to India. 286 00:13:04,216 --> 00:13:06,484 - What does that mean? - I just want more, Jim. 287 00:13:06,551 --> 00:13:10,087 Is this an "Eat, Pray, Love" thing? 288 00:13:10,155 --> 00:13:11,589 No! 289 00:13:11,657 --> 00:13:13,157 Maybe. 290 00:13:13,225 --> 00:13:15,359 [Sighs] Obviously yes. 291 00:13:15,427 --> 00:13:18,863 But it's also a "me thing". I'm restless, Jim. 292 00:13:19,630 --> 00:13:21,554 What if we did something a little more local? 293 00:13:21,555 --> 00:13:23,667 My parents have that time-share in Boca Raton. 294 00:13:23,735 --> 00:13:26,370 Damn it, Jim! It has to be India! 295 00:13:26,437 --> 00:13:29,106 I want to go and dance with wise old men! 296 00:13:29,173 --> 00:13:31,608 I want to eat food that might kill me. 297 00:13:31,676 --> 00:13:33,643 And I want to play with elephants. 298 00:13:34,211 --> 00:13:36,412 And I want to meet Omar Sharif. 299 00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:37,547 Let's do that. 300 00:13:37,615 --> 00:13:39,749 - Oh, my God, seriously?! - Yeah. 301 00:13:39,817 --> 00:13:41,151 Oh, thank you, babe. Oh, my God! 302 00:13:41,218 --> 00:13:42,919 [Chuckles] But they never went. 303 00:13:42,987 --> 00:13:44,787 There was always a reason not to go. 304 00:13:44,855 --> 00:13:46,656 First, Jim got a new job. 305 00:13:46,724 --> 00:13:48,525 Then it was too close to the holidays. 306 00:13:48,592 --> 00:13:50,393 Then Jim wanted to go to magic camp. 307 00:13:50,461 --> 00:13:54,497 And with every passing year, Liv only got more restless. 308 00:13:54,565 --> 00:13:58,401 'Cause if you don't like "La Boh?me," that's fine. 309 00:13:58,469 --> 00:14:00,003 We can do anything. 310 00:14:00,070 --> 00:14:03,039 I heard The Guggenheim has a new vase. 311 00:14:03,107 --> 00:14:04,683 Stop the cab! 312 00:14:06,710 --> 00:14:08,277 I want to go to India right now. 313 00:14:08,344 --> 00:14:10,112 If we don't, I'm gonna explode. 314 00:14:10,180 --> 00:14:12,047 But what about our jobs and the wedding? 315 00:14:12,415 --> 00:14:14,983 Plus, I thought we were gonna start trying to get pregnant. 316 00:14:15,051 --> 00:14:17,519 If we're gonna have five kids, then we gotta start soon. 317 00:14:17,587 --> 00:14:19,521 It's common to get cold feet before a wedding. 318 00:14:19,589 --> 00:14:23,258 Sadly, it's also common to marry the absolute wrong person. 319 00:14:23,326 --> 00:14:27,295 The hard part is discerning which is which. 320 00:14:27,296 --> 00:14:33,757 My curious heart is 321 00:14:33,758 --> 00:14:36,125 Seriously falling for you 322 00:14:36,126 --> 00:14:41,882 My curious heart is 323 00:14:41,883 --> 00:14:44,762 Seriously falling for you 324 00:14:45,416 --> 00:14:47,610 For you 325 00:14:49,645 --> 00:14:51,849 So, where do you think he's gonna rock your world? 326 00:14:51,850 --> 00:14:54,474 Honestly, I don't even care at this point. 327 00:14:54,475 --> 00:14:55,872 I would have sex with him in a landfill. 328 00:14:57,391 --> 00:14:59,148 Dominic: Hey! Hey! 329 00:14:59,961 --> 00:15:02,396 I want to dedicate this song 330 00:15:02,464 --> 00:15:05,499 to a beautiful woman who's had a tough night tonight. Oh, my God. 331 00:15:05,567 --> 00:15:07,634 - No. No. No. No. No. - To Jerrica! 332 00:15:07,702 --> 00:15:09,837 Oh, thank God. Uh, uh, no! 333 00:15:09,904 --> 00:15:11,638 I mean Jessica, right there in the red dress! 334 00:15:11,706 --> 00:15:13,941 Everybody look at her! [Light laughter] 335 00:15:14,008 --> 00:15:15,876 [Crowd murmurs] 336 00:15:15,944 --> 00:15:17,277 Is everybody looking? 337 00:15:17,345 --> 00:15:18,879 Uh-huh. Turn around. 338 00:15:18,947 --> 00:15:20,314 [Sighs] 339 00:15:20,381 --> 00:15:25,252 I think this is what he meant when he said he was gonna rock your... 340 00:15:25,253 --> 00:15:26,393 Yep! Already got that. 341 00:15:26,394 --> 00:15:28,303 Yeah. 342 00:15:28,304 --> 00:15:29,343 [Soft music starts] 343 00:15:29,344 --> 00:15:30,884 Cheer up, girl 344 00:15:30,885 --> 00:15:34,193 Please don't cry 345 00:15:34,261 --> 00:15:39,098 Cheer up, girl What? Did someone die? 346 00:15:39,166 --> 00:15:41,634 Oh. 347 00:15:41,702 --> 00:15:45,137 Yeah. All right. 348 00:15:47,140 --> 00:15:50,443 Your smile is like a plane ticket 349 00:15:50,510 --> 00:15:52,712 I really want to book it 350 00:15:52,779 --> 00:15:56,282 Your smile is like Richard Nixon, yeah 351 00:15:56,350 --> 00:15:58,651 It's very, very crooked 352 00:15:58,719 --> 00:16:00,953 Did he say I was Richard Nixon? 353 00:16:01,021 --> 00:16:03,753 I'm surprised he even knows who Richard Nixon is. 354 00:16:06,057 --> 00:16:09,619 So, baby, smile those tears away 355 00:16:10,266 --> 00:16:12,263 This guy is very bad at singing. 356 00:16:12,331 --> 00:16:15,445 God, this is the day that music died. Am I right? 357 00:16:15,446 --> 00:16:19,978 Your eyes like a construction site With dump trucks, diggers & cranes 358 00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,072 Dude, we suck at this. Bruce would know exactly what to say! 359 00:16:21,140 --> 00:16:24,776 I bet he's somewhere ripping this guy apart. Where is he? 360 00:16:24,844 --> 00:16:26,511 - A little bit insane - Can you believe this guy? 361 00:16:26,579 --> 00:16:29,883 Yeah, he's so brave to put himself out there like this. 362 00:16:29,884 --> 00:16:31,707 - Baby, I want to hear you say - What? 363 00:16:33,007 --> 00:16:38,622 I'm gonna smile those tears away 364 00:16:38,690 --> 00:16:44,695 Ooh, baby, smile Cry those tears away 365 00:16:44,762 --> 00:16:50,367 Yah, it gets better Even if you're not gay 366 00:16:50,435 --> 00:16:53,103 You're a cutie, you're a beauty 367 00:16:53,171 --> 00:16:56,640 You've got crazy, Ghetto Booty 368 00:16:56,708 --> 00:17:00,110 So, baby, smile those tears away 369 00:17:00,178 --> 00:17:05,249 Baby, smile those tears away 370 00:17:17,628 --> 00:17:20,063 I'm so sorry we watched "Downton Abbey" without you! 371 00:17:20,130 --> 00:17:22,365 It's okay. I get it. 372 00:17:22,433 --> 00:17:25,201 Sometimes I'm so funny, it makes you guys feel inferior. 373 00:17:25,269 --> 00:17:26,836 Yeah, that's not really our issue. 374 00:17:28,205 --> 00:17:30,106 Do you want to watch "The Voice" with us? 375 00:17:30,174 --> 00:17:32,608 A show about four spinning chairs? My barber has that. 376 00:17:32,676 --> 00:17:35,712 I would love to rip that show with you guys. 377 00:17:35,779 --> 00:17:37,780 - Yeah, he didn't learn anything. - Not even a little. 378 00:17:37,848 --> 00:17:39,649 I'm gonna talk through the whole thing 379 00:17:39,717 --> 00:17:43,027 and make fun of CeeLo's weird, scrunchy Buddha body. 380 00:17:43,028 --> 00:17:44,989 [Chuckles] At least we'll be together. 381 00:17:45,155 --> 00:17:46,556 Oh, you guys! 382 00:17:47,423 --> 00:17:52,027 Your smile is as delicious As a bacon cheeseburger 383 00:17:52,095 --> 00:17:57,466 Your smile can land a plane Like Captain Sully Sullenberger 384 00:17:58,034 --> 00:17:59,334 Ah! 385 00:17:59,402 --> 00:18:03,905 Ooh, baby, smile Let me see those teeth 386 00:18:03,973 --> 00:18:06,675 If you could just stop crying 387 00:18:06,742 --> 00:18:08,209 It would be a relief - Hey. 388 00:18:08,277 --> 00:18:10,345 Hey! What are you doing here? 389 00:18:10,413 --> 00:18:12,080 You're a cutie, you're a beauty 390 00:18:12,148 --> 00:18:15,850 I... it's over with Jim. I broke off our engagement. 391 00:18:15,918 --> 00:18:20,188 Wow! Okay. Um... are you okay? 392 00:18:20,256 --> 00:18:23,024 Yeah. you smile those tears away 393 00:18:23,092 --> 00:18:25,360 I probably should've done that a long time ago. 394 00:18:28,364 --> 00:18:32,567 Mnh. Come here. 395 00:18:33,635 --> 00:18:36,971 Don't hide your feelings In your pocket 396 00:18:38,638 --> 00:18:41,049 - What is this song? - I don't know. 397 00:18:41,050 --> 00:18:42,604 - Don't lock 'em in a locket - [Chuckles] 398 00:18:42,605 --> 00:18:46,426 I don't think anyone knows. [Both laugh] 399 00:18:46,427 --> 00:18:47,936 Smile those tears away 400 00:18:47,937 --> 00:18:55,269 Baby, smile those tears away 401 00:19:03,045 --> 00:19:04,305 [All cheering] 402 00:19:07,867 --> 00:19:09,434 Can I get a scotch? 403 00:19:09,501 --> 00:19:11,769 - Can I get a... - Hey, chief?! 404 00:19:11,837 --> 00:19:14,072 - Hi! Eye contact. - Hey, guy! 405 00:19:14,139 --> 00:19:16,040 Yeah, they never see me 'cause I'm too short. 406 00:19:16,108 --> 00:19:17,842 Yeah, well, there never see me, 'cause I have balls. 407 00:19:17,910 --> 00:19:19,556 - [Chuckles] Hey, guy! - Hi! 408 00:19:19,557 --> 00:19:21,479 - Okay, what do you need? - A scotch. 409 00:19:21,547 --> 00:19:24,482 - I got this. - Hi! 410 00:19:24,550 --> 00:19:26,284 [Glass shatters] There's that. 411 00:19:26,352 --> 00:19:28,052 Whoa! 412 00:19:28,120 --> 00:19:29,487 Everything all right over there? 413 00:19:29,555 --> 00:19:30,755 No, sir. It is not. 414 00:19:30,823 --> 00:19:33,358 We need a scotch and three vodka tonics, please. 415 00:19:33,425 --> 00:19:35,159 All right. Coming right up. 416 00:19:35,227 --> 00:19:36,761 - Thank you. - Thanks. 417 00:19:36,829 --> 00:19:38,596 It's Bruce, right? 418 00:19:38,664 --> 00:19:39,697 - Yeah. It's Maya, right? - Yeah. 419 00:19:39,765 --> 00:19:40,665 Yeah. 420 00:19:45,371 --> 00:19:46,838 [Bag rustling] 421 00:19:46,906 --> 00:19:48,940 [Crunching] [Soft music playing] 422 00:19:49,008 --> 00:19:51,576 Hm? Mnh, no. 423 00:19:51,644 --> 00:19:52,777 Wait, who's that? 424 00:19:52,845 --> 00:19:54,545 - The Dowager Countess. - The Dowager Countess. 425 00:19:54,613 --> 00:19:56,748 - Why does she talk funny? - She's British. 426 00:19:56,815 --> 00:19:59,083 Mm. [Chuckles] 427 00:19:59,151 --> 00:20:00,560 World War I looks really easy, dude. 428 00:20:00,561 --> 00:20:02,232 I think I could've beat World War I on my own. 429 00:20:04,628 --> 00:20:08,336 - Oh, do they show boobs in this? - No, it's PBS. 430 00:20:08,337 --> 00:20:10,507 - Are there any wizards on it? - No. 431 00:20:10,508 --> 00:20:11,998 Then why are we watching this show? 432 00:20:11,999 --> 00:20:13,635 [Crunching continues] 433 00:20:14,337 --> 00:20:16,203 Ugh, guys, come on. This show's boring! 434 00:20:21,674 --> 00:20:24,308 Wait, why aren't they getting married? 435 00:20:24,309 --> 00:20:26,046 Her father said she couldn't because he's Irish. 436 00:20:26,047 --> 00:20:27,171 I'm Irish. 437 00:20:27,172 --> 00:20:28,891 That's very racist. 438 00:20:29,421 --> 00:20:31,045 That's very racist. 439 00:20:33,381 --> 00:20:34,902 But this is crazy, they love each... 440 00:20:34,903 --> 00:20:36,071 They're in love. 441 00:20:39,957 --> 00:20:41,254 What? 442 00:20:41,255 --> 00:20:43,896 This show is stupidy, make it louder. 443 00:20:44,732 --> 00:20:46,762 Sync and corrected by thatjulio www.addic7ed.com 444 00:20:46,812 --> 00:20:51,362 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 33595

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