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Maya: This is the story of 10 strangers,
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one night, and all the stupid,
embarrassing, ridiculous things we do...
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To find love.
5
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Yeah
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Hey. Can I order shots from you?
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Of course. What can I get you?
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- Uh, have you heard of an anaconda?
- Whiskey and Sambuca?
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I had those every summer
back where I'm from.
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Really? Where are you from?
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Oh, a small town in Ohio
you've probably never heard of.
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Well, I'm from Greentree, Ohio.
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- No way!
- Yes way.
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- I am from West Greentree!
- You are a liar.
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- No!
- Okay, pop quiz.
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Have you ever been to Gary's hotdogs
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for the dingo dogs with extra
kraut? Dingo dogs with extra kraut.
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- I'm Kacey.
- I'm Cal.
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Uh... um...
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- I will get you those shots.
- All right.
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[Both chuckle]
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Oh, it's so on.
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.::Sync and corrected by thatjulio::.
.::www.addic7ed.com::.
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I can't believe I kissed a
man who wasn't my fianc?e.
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[Laughs] I mean, was
it a good kiss? Yeah.
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Was it a great kiss?
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Yeah, it was the best kiss ever.
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It was like kissing an Italian
Racecar driver at sunset.
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[Chuckles]
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But that... that doesn't mean anything.
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People do crazy stuff at
bachelor parties all the time.
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Wait. When did this
become a bachelor party?
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And it's not like I like Ron.
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It... Ron is just a
man that I met at a bar.
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A-a gorgeous, exotic, charming,
man with a beautiful mouth.
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Oh, my God, I need to go
home before I destroy my life.
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No, tiger. Stay. This is good.
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Like, you need to go and
see where this is going.
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I... but what about Jim?
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What about Jim?
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Like, seriously, Jim is
always gonna be there.
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We know that. He's like a fungus.
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I don't know.
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Liv.
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You are clearly
second-guessing marrying Jim.
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So you can either deal with
this now or after you're married.
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But at some point, you're
gonna have to deal with this.
49
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Oh, I know.
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But I don't even know what it is about Ron.
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I've never felt like this before.
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It's like he makes my body all tingly,
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like when I have too much root beer.
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Liv, that's a good thing, okay?
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You're supposed to feel tingly.
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Okay.
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I'm gonna stay and explore
my feelings for Ron.
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Good. Good for you.
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I'm gonna send him my panties.
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What?
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Thanks, mate.
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Quick question... I just kissed a woman
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who then wordlessly ran away from me
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and it was quite possibly the most
awkward moment of my entire life.
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Is that an American thing,
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kissing someone and then running away,
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or is she just really,
really, really weird?
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I-I don't know. That's
never happened to me, man.
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Okay. Good. 'Cause if it was normal,
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I'd have to move to a different country.
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Cheers.
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[Chuckles]
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And I want three kids.
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Me too! A girl and two boys.
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Yes!
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And I was gonna start in the city,
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but then the boys are gonna need...
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- Need room to run, so upstate.
- Yes.
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And I want to live in a
house shaped like a barn.
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- Oh, is that weird?
- Super-weird.
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Because I've always wanted to
live in a house shaped like a barn!
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[Chuckling] No.
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What's really weird is that
there's a waitress at our table
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and we don't have any drinks.
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Hey, Kace.
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Your customers keep asking me for drinks.
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- Which ones?
- All of them.
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You are a waitress. Go wait on them.
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Okay. I'll be right there.
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I've got to go.
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Yeah, I know.
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But I'll be right back.
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- Okay.
- Okay.
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Oh, my God. I think she might be the...
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Don't say that!
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I will punch you in the
neck if you say that!
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I think she might be the one. [Chuckles]
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[Grunts] Oh, my God, Cal, are you okay?
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[Choking] Are you okay?
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No, no, no, no!
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Maya: Shockingly, Bruce
is in the right here.
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Cal has met "the one" before.
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In fact, he's met her many times...
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Cal was born in a small town.
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Dr. Nesbit delivered him
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shortly before he delivered the mail.
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Cal was an only child
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whose parents loved the hell out of him
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and praised him for everything he did,
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even finishing his breakfast.
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So Cal became an optimist.
He was quick to fall in love.
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This woman liked coffee yogurt.
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So did Cal, so, naturally,
they got married.
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Then he learned that his
new wife was super-negative
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and never smiled.
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They got divorced,
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and Cal quickly fell in love again,
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this time to his dentist.
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They, too, got married.
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Unfortunately, like most
dentists, she was sadistic.
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They got divorced, and Cal
quickly got married again.
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This one turned out to be
a recovering sex addict,
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except maybe not so recovered.
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Bruce liked her a lot.
But Cal got divorced again.
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Finally, Cal started to question the wisdom
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of always following his heart.
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I'm 26 years old, and I've
been married three times.
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Who does that?
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Lots of people! Kelsey Grammer!
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Mm. No, I'm serious, man.
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I'm trying to stay
positive, but I don't know
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how many more times I can go through this.
133
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It's too painful.
134
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- Hey, don't give up, Cal.
- Or do give up, Cal, okay?
135
00:04:56,323 --> 00:04:58,376
Because clearly what you're
doing, it's not working.
136
00:04:58,377 --> 00:04:59,746
You just keep marrying people.
137
00:04:59,747 --> 00:05:00,776
I'm surprised you haven't married someone
138
00:05:00,777 --> 00:05:01,738
since we've been sitting here.
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00:05:01,739 --> 00:05:03,582
The thing is, I loved
every one of those women.
140
00:05:03,583 --> 00:05:05,433
Mm-hmm. Like, I felt it in my heart.
141
00:05:05,434 --> 00:05:08,012
And they all turned out to be
completely different people.
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00:05:08,013 --> 00:05:10,275
So what? I'm supposed
to ignore my heart now?
143
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- No! Never!
- Yes, always!
144
00:05:12,411 --> 00:05:14,021
Because clearly you have a stupid heart.
145
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Stop listening to your
stupid, stupid heart, Cal.
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Start listening to your
brain and your balls.
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00:05:19,747 --> 00:05:23,058
And by your brain, I-I
definitely mean your balls.
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00:05:23,059 --> 00:05:25,426
Listen up, dude. Listen
to the balls of mankind.
149
00:05:25,427 --> 00:05:27,775
Or you can just accept that
you've made some mistakes
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and follow your heart one last time.
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[Clears throat]
152
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Or Bruce's balls thing.
153
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Mm-hmm. My balls thing.
154
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Why are we having a picnic?
155
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I thought it'd be nice.
156
00:05:39,139 --> 00:05:40,751
[Slurps]
157
00:05:40,752 --> 00:05:42,248
Yeah, it's okay.
158
00:05:42,249 --> 00:05:44,802
Look, all I know is the next
time I say I found the one,
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00:05:44,803 --> 00:05:46,188
I need you guys to St...
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To punch you in the neck! Thank you!
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That's what I'm gonna do.
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I'm gonna curl up these
little orange muscles here
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and [Grunts] right under your chin.
164
00:05:54,017 --> 00:05:55,588
We're in a public place!
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I'm just trying to stop you
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from making the same mistake
for the fourth time, idiot.
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00:05:59,357 --> 00:06:01,626
Oh, come on, he's not marrying the
waitress. He's just talking to her.
168
00:06:01,627 --> 00:06:03,252
Tom, you don't know
this kid like I know him.
169
00:06:03,253 --> 00:06:05,697
He's about to run off to some
strip mall and grab a ring.
170
00:06:05,698 --> 00:06:07,769
And because he likes it,
he's gonna put a ring on it.
171
00:06:07,770 --> 00:06:09,208
Did you not just see what happened?
172
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I have crazy chemistry with this girl.
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[Groans]
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00:06:11,876 --> 00:06:13,796
Yeah, it reminded me of when I met Maya.
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It was magical.
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Tom, stop it.
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00:06:17,295 --> 00:06:18,874
The problem with my marriages
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was I didn't know the women I was marrying.
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But this is different.
180
00:06:22,132 --> 00:06:23,766
I feel like I've known
Kacey my entire life.
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00:06:23,767 --> 00:06:25,726
And she's not like them.
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00:06:25,727 --> 00:06:28,459
She's sweet and she's
positive and she's fun.
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00:06:28,460 --> 00:06:29,513
And she's the one.
184
00:06:29,514 --> 00:06:31,158
No! She's not the one!
185
00:06:31,159 --> 00:06:33,112
She's the waitress at the bar!
186
00:06:33,113 --> 00:06:35,313
Dude, come on. See through this.
187
00:06:35,314 --> 00:06:37,837
Waitresses are just strippers
with food. That's all they are.
188
00:06:37,838 --> 00:06:38,977
They're just trying to get your money.
189
00:06:38,978 --> 00:06:40,262
Dude, you love strippers.
190
00:06:41,281 --> 00:06:43,037
Yeah. That... whatever!
191
00:06:43,038 --> 00:06:44,083
No, don't listen to him.
192
00:06:44,084 --> 00:06:46,485
Waitresses are nice people
who bring you things.
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00:06:46,486 --> 00:06:48,103
Follow your heart.
194
00:06:48,104 --> 00:06:49,882
No, dude. No, okay?
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00:06:49,883 --> 00:06:51,177
I'll show you that this is wrong.
196
00:06:51,178 --> 00:06:53,853
I'll call her over here,
and in five seconds,
197
00:06:53,854 --> 00:06:55,963
I'll make this amazing connection with her
198
00:06:55,964 --> 00:06:56,958
and we'll go elope.
199
00:06:56,959 --> 00:06:58,590
That's right. I'll beat you to the punch.
200
00:06:58,591 --> 00:07:00,192
I'm gonna marry her before you.
201
00:07:00,193 --> 00:07:01,651
Fine. Call her over.
202
00:07:02,313 --> 00:07:03,997
203
00:07:05,071 --> 00:07:06,705
All: Whoo!
204
00:07:09,942 --> 00:07:12,577
Okay.
205
00:07:12,611 --> 00:07:13,778
[Crying]
206
00:07:13,812 --> 00:07:14,980
Do you hear somebody crying?
207
00:07:15,014 --> 00:07:17,182
[Crying continues]
208
00:07:19,518 --> 00:07:21,019
- No.
- Yes.
209
00:07:21,053 --> 00:07:22,487
- I don't hear anything.
- I do.
210
00:07:22,521 --> 00:07:23,688
Then let's go. Stop it. Come on.
211
00:07:23,722 --> 00:07:24,990
We can't leave a crying girl.
212
00:07:25,024 --> 00:07:26,291
You know how this works.
213
00:07:26,325 --> 00:07:28,493
Once you get started with a crying girl,
214
00:07:28,527 --> 00:07:29,694
you can never get out.
215
00:07:29,728 --> 00:07:31,161
It's like Tina
what's-her-face?
216
00:07:31,196 --> 00:07:33,831
- Come on, junior homecoming?
- Oh.
217
00:07:33,866 --> 00:07:36,868
Yeah. And we didn't escape
till dawn the next day.
218
00:07:36,902 --> 00:07:39,169
Gabby: Wait. I-I-I-is
someone in here?
219
00:07:40,572 --> 00:07:42,006
Are you okay, sweetie?
220
00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:43,207
Not really.
221
00:07:43,241 --> 00:07:45,209
Do you have any friends
that you could call, maybe?
222
00:07:45,243 --> 00:07:47,712
No! No, my friends suck!
223
00:07:47,746 --> 00:07:50,581
- Th-they all went out
without me tonight! - Aww.
224
00:07:50,616 --> 00:07:53,316
Maybe they ditched you
'cause you cry too much.
225
00:07:53,350 --> 00:07:54,551
[Smacks shoulder] Ow!
226
00:07:54,585 --> 00:07:57,754
I'm so sorry, sweetie.
227
00:07:57,788 --> 00:07:58,989
Do you want to t-tell us what
happened? [Smacks shoulder]
228
00:08:00,391 --> 00:08:03,727
Oh, my God, that's so nice. Thank you.
229
00:08:03,761 --> 00:08:05,896
But I just want you to know it's, like...
230
00:08:05,930 --> 00:08:08,197
It's definitely a really long story.
231
00:08:10,100 --> 00:08:11,367
What do you mean
232
00:08:11,402 --> 00:08:12,769
girls aren't sending guys
their panties anymore?
233
00:08:12,803 --> 00:08:15,005
It's like a thing. I read about it.
234
00:08:15,039 --> 00:08:17,372
It's people doing it up in the clubs.
235
00:08:17,407 --> 00:08:18,874
Liv, nobody's doing it up in the clubs,
236
00:08:18,909 --> 00:08:21,043
and nobody says, "doing
it up in the clubs."
237
00:08:21,077 --> 00:08:22,845
You have bad information.
238
00:08:22,879 --> 00:08:25,548
I already kissed a guy tonight.
I might as well go all in.
239
00:08:25,582 --> 00:08:27,583
Oh, okay. And then what
do you hope to achieve?
240
00:08:27,617 --> 00:08:29,952
I just want him to think I'm fun and sexy,
241
00:08:29,986 --> 00:08:31,720
like Anna Kendrick, you know?
242
00:08:31,755 --> 00:08:34,023
[Scoffs] Oh, shoot.
243
00:08:34,057 --> 00:08:35,524
Oh, I'm wearing
my day-to-days.
244
00:08:35,559 --> 00:08:37,026
I can't send him
my day-to-day.
245
00:08:37,060 --> 00:08:38,694
They, like, come up to my chin. [Laughs]
246
00:08:38,728 --> 00:08:40,763
They look like a pillowcase.
247
00:08:40,797 --> 00:08:42,264
Okay, Liv, I'm telling you. Listen.
248
00:08:42,298 --> 00:08:44,766
I know you haven't flirted
with anyone in about 50 years,
249
00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:46,101
but nobody does this.
250
00:08:46,135 --> 00:08:48,736
Like, nobody d... I'm telling you.
251
00:08:48,771 --> 00:08:50,872
Dude, dude, have you ever had
a girl give you her panties?
252
00:08:50,906 --> 00:08:52,541
[Scoffs] Yeah, all the time.
253
00:08:52,575 --> 00:08:57,312
[Sighs] Well, not that guy.
254
00:08:57,346 --> 00:08:59,747
So, uh, what are you rocking under there?
255
00:08:59,782 --> 00:09:01,749
Don't worry about it.
256
00:09:01,784 --> 00:09:04,652
- I bet you're wearing awesome panties.
- No.
257
00:09:04,687 --> 00:09:07,154
I bet they're, like, sleek
black panties from the future.
258
00:09:07,189 --> 00:09:08,990
No, they're just my work panties.
259
00:09:09,024 --> 00:09:12,627
Maya... give me your panties.
260
00:09:19,585 --> 00:09:21,661
261
00:09:25,241 --> 00:09:26,666
All right.
262
00:09:26,667 --> 00:09:30,132
Take a picture, 'cause this is
what a good friend looks like.
263
00:09:30,133 --> 00:09:32,846
[Gasps] Maya, these
panties are beautiful.
264
00:09:32,847 --> 00:09:35,954
What is this, made in
China? That is so fancy.
265
00:09:35,955 --> 00:09:37,268
Please stop reading my panties.
266
00:09:37,269 --> 00:09:39,828
Okay, so, where do I stick
it? Do I put... I don't know.
267
00:09:39,829 --> 00:09:41,520
[Gasps] Wish me luck.
268
00:09:41,521 --> 00:09:42,396
No.
269
00:09:42,397 --> 00:09:43,465
Okay.
270
00:09:44,227 --> 00:09:45,889
Hey, hey, watch this.
271
00:09:45,890 --> 00:09:48,138
[Whistling] Hey. Kacey.
272
00:09:48,139 --> 00:09:50,350
Here she comes. Watch the fireworks.
273
00:09:51,118 --> 00:09:52,465
Hey, Kacey, how are you?
274
00:09:52,466 --> 00:09:53,394
- I'm good.
- Good.
275
00:09:53,395 --> 00:09:55,457
I want to order a round
of drinks, uh, for my...
276
00:09:55,458 --> 00:09:57,069
For my buddies here, 'cause what's money
277
00:09:57,104 --> 00:09:58,252
if you can't share with your friends?
278
00:09:58,253 --> 00:10:00,703
You know what I mean?
Uh, what do you suggest?
279
00:10:00,704 --> 00:10:02,323
I don't know. Beer?
280
00:10:02,324 --> 00:10:04,433
I love beer. I love beer.
281
00:10:04,434 --> 00:10:05,818
I love beer.
282
00:10:05,819 --> 00:10:07,821
[Clears throat]
283
00:10:07,822 --> 00:10:08,903
[Sighs]
284
00:10:08,904 --> 00:10:12,050
Um, what's your favorite beer, Kacey?
285
00:10:12,051 --> 00:10:13,297
Oh, I hate beer.
286
00:10:13,298 --> 00:10:14,925
- So many empty carbs.
- So many empty carbs.
287
00:10:15,701 --> 00:10:16,947
Really?
288
00:10:16,948 --> 00:10:19,309
Seriously, I feel like a really bad friend.
289
00:10:19,310 --> 00:10:20,666
I had no idea you liked beer.
290
00:10:20,667 --> 00:10:21,741
Tom, everyone likes beer.
291
00:10:21,742 --> 00:10:23,846
In the entire world, everyone
but these two weirdos.
292
00:10:23,847 --> 00:10:25,015
So, a round of beers?
293
00:10:25,016 --> 00:10:27,128
Yes. I'd love that. Thank you, Kacey.
294
00:10:29,267 --> 00:10:32,120
- She's so pretty.
- I rest my case.
295
00:10:32,121 --> 00:10:34,487
Dude, you are an idiot.
296
00:10:34,488 --> 00:10:36,766
- You had no connection to her whatsoever!
- Okay.
297
00:10:36,767 --> 00:10:38,752
- You had more of a connection with Tom.
- That's true, actually.
298
00:10:38,753 --> 00:10:40,281
I feel very connected to you right now.
299
00:10:40,282 --> 00:10:42,455
Just admit it. She is my soul mate.
300
00:10:42,456 --> 00:10:43,480
No!
301
00:10:43,481 --> 00:10:45,736
That girl is not your soul mate!
302
00:10:45,737 --> 00:10:48,444
Maya: As many times as Cal has been wrong,
303
00:10:48,445 --> 00:10:51,030
this time he just happens to be right.
304
00:10:51,031 --> 00:10:52,719
[Cries]
305
00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:55,565
Kacey was born in the small
town right next to Cal's.
306
00:10:55,566 --> 00:10:58,695
Dr. Nesbit delivered her
right before he put out a fire.
307
00:10:58,696 --> 00:11:02,240
Just like Cal, Kacey was an only child
308
00:11:02,241 --> 00:11:03,605
whose parents adored her.
309
00:11:03,606 --> 00:11:07,390
Kacey was upbeat and
positive, and, just like Cal,
310
00:11:07,391 --> 00:11:09,530
she followed her heart
wherever it lead her.
311
00:11:09,531 --> 00:11:12,755
When Kacey met Brad, she just knew.
312
00:11:12,756 --> 00:11:15,197
His frosted tips were so clutch.
313
00:11:15,198 --> 00:11:18,335
After graduation, Kacey
and Brad moved to New York
314
00:11:18,336 --> 00:11:20,592
and got jobs at Planet Tan in Chelsea.
315
00:11:20,593 --> 00:11:24,000
Their dream was to one day
open a discount tanning salon
316
00:11:24,001 --> 00:11:26,421
for poor people who still wanted to be tan.
317
00:11:27,106 --> 00:11:29,327
Oh, hey, Steven!
318
00:11:29,328 --> 00:11:32,326
Hey, babe! Mwah!
319
00:11:32,327 --> 00:11:34,690
Oh, God, would you just
please tell her already?
320
00:11:34,691 --> 00:11:35,996
Tell me what?
321
00:11:35,997 --> 00:11:37,391
If you don't, I will.
322
00:11:37,392 --> 00:11:39,230
Kace...
323
00:11:40,031 --> 00:11:41,620
I'm super gay.
324
00:11:41,621 --> 00:11:43,018
What?!
325
00:11:43,019 --> 00:11:45,824
Babe, I was a male
cheerleader. I love tanning.
326
00:11:45,825 --> 00:11:48,954
And I'm currently applying
lotion to another man's abs,
327
00:11:48,955 --> 00:11:51,696
which he can clearly reach himself.
328
00:11:51,697 --> 00:11:53,682
I could not be gayer.
329
00:11:53,683 --> 00:11:57,347
[Voice breaking] But, Brad, I love you.
330
00:11:57,348 --> 00:11:59,218
I love you, too.
331
00:11:59,949 --> 00:12:02,937
But I also love penis.
332
00:12:02,938 --> 00:12:05,055
For the first time in her life,
333
00:12:05,056 --> 00:12:07,019
Kacey realized that her
heart could be wrong.
334
00:12:07,020 --> 00:12:09,626
She also realized why Brad
had frequently asked her
335
00:12:09,627 --> 00:12:10,970
to wear a mustache during sex.
336
00:12:11,832 --> 00:12:14,086
She considered numbing
the pain with empty carbs
337
00:12:14,087 --> 00:12:15,564
but she just couldn't do it.
338
00:12:15,565 --> 00:12:17,590
Just like Cal after his failed marriages,
339
00:12:17,591 --> 00:12:20,140
she refused to let the world get her down.
340
00:12:21,073 --> 00:12:23,471
Cal and Kacey both threw themselves
341
00:12:23,472 --> 00:12:25,234
into high-rep,
low-impact workouts
342
00:12:25,235 --> 00:12:27,927
and buried themselves in work.
343
00:12:27,928 --> 00:12:30,041
And when that wasn't enough,
344
00:12:30,042 --> 00:12:32,439
they'd both go down to
Grand Central Station
345
00:12:32,440 --> 00:12:34,131
and watch the world go by.
346
00:12:34,132 --> 00:12:36,702
It made them feel like they
were part of something bigger,
347
00:12:36,703 --> 00:12:39,096
and that everything was going to be okay.
348
00:12:39,097 --> 00:12:41,519
Cal and Kacey were perfect for each other.
349
00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:43,583
She was just what he needed...
350
00:12:43,584 --> 00:12:45,560
Someone sweet, fun, and positive.
351
00:12:45,561 --> 00:12:47,819
And he was just what she was looking for...
352
00:12:47,820 --> 00:12:50,822
Loving, kind... and heterosexual.
353
00:12:51,551 --> 00:12:53,588
354
00:12:56,188 --> 00:12:58,362
[Crying] And then all my friends
355
00:12:58,363 --> 00:13:00,037
went to this other club without me.
356
00:13:00,038 --> 00:13:02,720
Oh, my God, my apartment is on fire.
357
00:13:02,721 --> 00:13:03,806
I got to go. Uh...
358
00:13:04,163 --> 00:13:06,691
This is all your fault. [Sobbing]
359
00:13:06,692 --> 00:13:07,828
What? No, it's not.
360
00:13:07,829 --> 00:13:10,858
- Yes, it is.
- Okay, yeah, it is.
361
00:13:10,859 --> 00:13:12,958
Wait. So what do you
guys think I should do?
362
00:13:13,959 --> 00:13:15,975
I think you should talk to someone else.
363
00:13:15,976 --> 00:13:18,292
I think you should call your friends
364
00:13:18,293 --> 00:13:19,633
and talk it out with them.
365
00:13:19,634 --> 00:13:21,817
Okay, we're gonna go. Yeah. Yeah. Bye.
366
00:13:22,572 --> 00:13:25,742
That is the best advice I have ever gotten.
367
00:13:25,743 --> 00:13:26,969
Really?
368
00:13:26,970 --> 00:13:28,961
Have you ever gotten advice before?
369
00:13:28,962 --> 00:13:31,206
Yeah, because that's pretty
standard advice, actually.
370
00:13:31,207 --> 00:13:33,694
Can we get a friendship circle?
371
00:13:33,695 --> 00:13:34,939
Huh?
372
00:13:34,940 --> 00:13:38,528
Oh, my God. I love you guys so much.
373
00:13:39,854 --> 00:13:42,546
Dude, why can't you just
find a cute, boring girl
374
00:13:42,547 --> 00:13:44,418
that you sort of like
and then get strung out
375
00:13:44,419 --> 00:13:46,198
into some long-term
relationship that you can't stand
376
00:13:46,199 --> 00:13:48,297
just like every other
dude on the entire planet?
377
00:13:48,298 --> 00:13:50,306
Why do you always have to
do the love-at-first-sight?
378
00:13:50,307 --> 00:13:51,474
I can't help it, man.
379
00:13:51,475 --> 00:13:53,423
- It just overcomes me.
- Tom: Mm-hmm.
380
00:13:53,424 --> 00:13:55,735
It's like when I met Maya
40 minutes ago, I was just...
381
00:13:55,736 --> 00:13:57,200
Tom! Oh, my God!
382
00:13:57,201 --> 00:13:58,416
[Clears throat]
383
00:13:58,417 --> 00:14:00,196
You know, it just feels so good, you know?
384
00:14:00,197 --> 00:14:01,352
In one instant,
385
00:14:01,353 --> 00:14:04,229
everything in your entire
life just gets better.
386
00:14:04,230 --> 00:14:06,052
No! No.
387
00:14:06,053 --> 00:14:08,701
Dude, life doesn't get better by chance.
388
00:14:08,702 --> 00:14:11,280
Life gets better by change.
389
00:14:11,281 --> 00:14:13,018
Oh, my God, that was really good.
390
00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:14,467
Wait a minute. What's that from?
391
00:14:14,468 --> 00:14:16,102
It's on the back of one
of your gym t-shirts.
392
00:14:16,103 --> 00:14:17,300
Dude, are you serious? Come on, man!
393
00:14:17,301 --> 00:14:19,001
Yeah, but listen to
the t-shirt. It's right.
394
00:14:19,002 --> 00:14:20,793
Cal, you can't keep trying the same thing
395
00:14:20,794 --> 00:14:23,367
over and over again,
expecting a different result.
396
00:14:23,368 --> 00:14:26,648
You have to change, man. Come on, dude.
397
00:14:26,649 --> 00:14:28,931
Three divorces is weird.
398
00:14:28,932 --> 00:14:31,282
Four... girls will be
running for the hills.
399
00:14:31,283 --> 00:14:32,849
Girls are gonna be running, man.
400
00:14:32,850 --> 00:14:34,482
- You know, fine.
- No.
401
00:14:34,483 --> 00:14:35,578
Fine! Fine. No.
402
00:14:35,579 --> 00:14:37,212
When she comes back, I'll shut it down.
403
00:14:37,213 --> 00:14:38,827
- You'll shut it down?
- Yeah, I'll shut it down.
404
00:14:38,828 --> 00:14:39,937
Here she comes.
405
00:14:39,938 --> 00:14:41,918
- Hey.
- Hey.
406
00:14:41,919 --> 00:14:43,652
I have to go on break in a few minutes,
407
00:14:43,653 --> 00:14:45,414
- if you want to hang out, come out back.
- I'd love to, yes.
408
00:14:45,415 --> 00:14:47,553
Awesome. It's a date.
409
00:14:47,554 --> 00:14:48,953
Bye!
410
00:14:59,266 --> 00:15:01,871
411
00:15:06,118 --> 00:15:07,585
Hey. Hello, there!
412
00:15:07,620 --> 00:15:09,353
Hi!
413
00:15:09,388 --> 00:15:10,388
Hi.
414
00:15:11,656 --> 00:15:13,491
Hmm. What's this, then?
415
00:15:18,897 --> 00:15:21,565
Sorry. Is that women's underwear?
416
00:15:21,599 --> 00:15:24,601
I...I don't know.
417
00:15:24,636 --> 00:15:26,504
Didn't it just fall from your hand?
418
00:15:26,538 --> 00:15:29,173
Yep. Yes, it did.
419
00:15:29,207 --> 00:15:31,708
That's my hand underwear.
420
00:15:31,743 --> 00:15:32,943
Sorry. It's your what?
421
00:15:32,977 --> 00:15:35,279
My hand underwear?
422
00:15:35,313 --> 00:15:37,415
What's... what's hand underwear?
423
00:15:37,449 --> 00:15:40,951
Uh, I have really... I don't
have very good circulation.
424
00:15:40,985 --> 00:15:45,789
And it... it keeps my hand w-warm and...
425
00:15:45,823 --> 00:15:48,692
Uh, sanitary.
426
00:15:48,726 --> 00:15:49,893
Okay.
427
00:15:49,928 --> 00:15:51,227
I'm sorry.
428
00:15:51,262 --> 00:15:54,932
I thought it'd be fun and sexy
if I brought you my underwear.
429
00:15:54,966 --> 00:15:57,768
I... no, no. No, it is.
It... it... it is very...
430
00:15:57,802 --> 00:15:59,937
It's very sexy.
431
00:16:01,138 --> 00:16:03,373
It kind of looks like a dead bird.
432
00:16:03,407 --> 00:16:04,775
Yeah. A little sparrow.
433
00:16:04,809 --> 00:16:05,776
Hmm.
434
00:16:05,810 --> 00:16:09,112
Wait. Are you wearing panties?
435
00:16:09,146 --> 00:16:10,613
What? No.
436
00:16:10,647 --> 00:16:12,115
Yeah. I can see them cresting.
437
00:16:12,149 --> 00:16:14,617
No. No. No. No.
438
00:16:14,651 --> 00:16:17,887
That's, uh... that's, uh...
My... they're built-in.
439
00:16:17,921 --> 00:16:19,322
Okay, so, I just want to clarify.
440
00:16:19,356 --> 00:16:21,257
Did you put on two pairs
of panties this morning
441
00:16:21,292 --> 00:16:24,427
in anticipation of giving one away?
442
00:16:24,462 --> 00:16:27,930
Or did you borrow this
pair from a third party?
443
00:16:27,965 --> 00:16:30,900
Ooh. Which one is weirder?
444
00:16:30,934 --> 00:16:32,802
I got to say, I don't know.
445
00:16:37,440 --> 00:16:39,942
You're just gonna
leave them... here?
446
00:16:41,678 --> 00:16:43,245
That basically brings
us to the seventh grade.
447
00:16:43,279 --> 00:16:44,647
Oh, my gosh, she's still talking.
448
00:16:44,681 --> 00:16:46,616
Her grip is so tight. [Sobs]
449
00:16:46,650 --> 00:16:48,017
And then eighth grade rolls along,
450
00:16:48,051 --> 00:16:49,852
and my mom remarries,
and I was like, "what..."
451
00:16:49,886 --> 00:16:52,254
Oh, thank God. Get over here.
452
00:16:52,288 --> 00:16:53,689
Talk to her. We have to go.
453
00:16:53,724 --> 00:16:56,092
She's crying. Got to help her.
454
00:16:56,126 --> 00:16:58,861
Oh, my God, I love you. Come here.
455
00:16:58,895 --> 00:17:00,528
Come here. [Cries]
456
00:17:00,562 --> 00:17:01,796
This is a disaster.
457
00:17:01,831 --> 00:17:03,765
Cal is gonna marry that
waitress in like three weeks.
458
00:17:03,799 --> 00:17:06,434
Or you could be happy for Cal
'cause he met his earth angel.
459
00:17:07,670 --> 00:17:09,638
Just... just kidding. I'm drunk.
460
00:17:09,672 --> 00:17:11,506
You guys talking about Kacey?
461
00:17:11,540 --> 00:17:13,341
Yeah. Isn't she adorable?
462
00:17:13,375 --> 00:17:14,843
[Scoffs] Tell your
friend don't even bother.
463
00:17:14,877 --> 00:17:16,444
She's with the bartender.
464
00:17:16,478 --> 00:17:17,779
Mm-hmm.
465
00:17:17,813 --> 00:17:19,114
What's that?
466
00:17:19,148 --> 00:17:20,448
I saw them smashing 20 minutes ago.
467
00:17:20,482 --> 00:17:21,650
They smash all the time.
468
00:17:23,519 --> 00:17:25,219
That is very interesting to me.
469
00:17:25,254 --> 00:17:26,754
Wish I didn't know that.
470
00:17:28,490 --> 00:17:31,492
Ohh. How bad was it?
471
00:17:31,527 --> 00:17:34,662
If it's okay with you, I
don't want to talk about it.
472
00:17:34,696 --> 00:17:36,830
[Chuckling] Oh, my
God. I'm so sorry, Liv.
473
00:17:36,865 --> 00:17:39,167
[Groans] I'm... I'm a crazy person.
474
00:17:39,201 --> 00:17:42,670
I do... I must have gone
insane from that kiss.
475
00:17:42,704 --> 00:17:44,071
[Chuckles]
476
00:17:44,105 --> 00:17:46,774
The good news is I can
now go home and marry Jim
477
00:17:46,808 --> 00:17:49,310
- because I am so bad at this stuff.
- Okay.
478
00:17:49,344 --> 00:17:51,011
Uh, hey, we didn't order this!
479
00:17:53,714 --> 00:17:56,183
[Both laugh]
480
00:17:56,217 --> 00:17:58,518
He sent his boxers.
481
00:17:58,553 --> 00:18:00,887
Don't touch it.
482
00:18:00,921 --> 00:18:03,657
I guess you're not as bad as you thought.
483
00:18:03,691 --> 00:18:04,658
Oh! Look at this.
484
00:18:04,692 --> 00:18:05,659
[Both laugh]
485
00:18:05,693 --> 00:18:07,494
He dances like a child.
486
00:18:07,528 --> 00:18:08,528
Yep.
487
00:18:09,564 --> 00:18:10,730
- There you are.
- Don't listen to him!
488
00:18:10,764 --> 00:18:12,098
Whoa, whoa. What's up?
489
00:18:12,132 --> 00:18:13,433
You know your little waitress friend?
490
00:18:13,467 --> 00:18:15,435
- She's with the bartender.
- What?
491
00:18:15,469 --> 00:18:16,769
I still think you should go after her.
492
00:18:16,804 --> 00:18:18,037
Everyone has a past.
493
00:18:18,072 --> 00:18:20,039
Yeah, and her past is 20
minutes ago with the bartender.
494
00:18:20,074 --> 00:18:21,207
You don't know this girl, Cal.
495
00:18:21,241 --> 00:18:22,675
So get to know her! Go on break.
496
00:18:22,710 --> 00:18:24,043
Don't give in to the fear.
497
00:18:24,078 --> 00:18:25,411
Give in to the fear.
The fear is your friend.
498
00:18:25,445 --> 00:18:27,113
Dude, please don't go
on break with this girl.
499
00:18:27,147 --> 00:18:28,781
You're just gonna fall
more in love with her,
500
00:18:28,816 --> 00:18:31,084
then you're gonna get married, and
then you'll eventually get divorced,
501
00:18:31,118 --> 00:18:32,919
and you'll be sad and lonely,
I'll have to hear about it.
502
00:18:32,953 --> 00:18:34,587
You'll be no fun to hang out with,
503
00:18:34,621 --> 00:18:38,024
and I can't bear to see you
like that again. I can't, dude.
504
00:18:38,058 --> 00:18:41,027
Cal was worried.
505
00:18:41,061 --> 00:18:43,729
Across the bar, Kacey was also worried.
506
00:18:43,763 --> 00:18:46,398
She knew her heart had been wrong before,
507
00:18:46,433 --> 00:18:48,634
but she couldn't shake
how she felt about Cal.
508
00:18:48,668 --> 00:18:50,802
Cal knew his heart had been wrong
509
00:18:50,837 --> 00:18:54,906
many, many, many times before.
510
00:18:54,941 --> 00:18:57,776
But he couldn't shake
how he felt about Kacey.
511
00:19:00,614 --> 00:19:02,681
And in that moment,
512
00:19:02,716 --> 00:19:05,350
they both decided to bravely
put aside their fears...
513
00:19:05,384 --> 00:19:09,726
- and give love one more chance.
-
when you don't answer the phone
514
00:19:09,727 --> 00:19:13,146
6:00 in the morning. I'm on my own
515
00:19:13,147 --> 00:19:16,210
Dom, I'm going on my
break and I might go over
516
00:19:16,211 --> 00:19:17,988
Oh, take your time. Whatever you need.
517
00:19:19,071 --> 00:19:21,228
-
Please bring me back home
- Thank you.
518
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:26,516
Unfortunately, in the very next moment,
519
00:19:26,517 --> 00:19:29,576
all of Cal's worst
fears came flooding back.
520
00:19:30,623 --> 00:19:34,353
And as Kacey waited for
Cal, she started to wonder
521
00:19:34,354 --> 00:19:36,329
if her heart had been wrong again.
522
00:19:37,257 --> 00:19:39,316
How many times have we walked away
523
00:19:39,317 --> 00:19:41,221
from a perfect thing without knowing it?
524
00:19:41,222 --> 00:19:43,931
How many times can our hearts be wrong
525
00:19:43,932 --> 00:19:46,302
before we just start
to ignore it all together?
526
00:19:46,303 --> 00:19:49,890
And how many organic grass-fed hamburgers
527
00:19:49,891 --> 00:19:52,273
can a grown woman eat
before her stomach explodes?
528
00:19:53,165 --> 00:19:55,885
There's always the hope that next time,
529
00:19:55,886 --> 00:20:00,027
our stupid, stupid
hearts will get it right.
530
00:20:00,028 --> 00:20:02,191
Why don't you call me home?
531
00:20:07,578 --> 00:20:10,113
[Both laugh]
532
00:20:10,147 --> 00:20:12,516
So, ladies, can I get
you another round or what?
533
00:20:12,550 --> 00:20:13,517
Yes, please.
534
00:20:13,551 --> 00:20:15,552
Fill me up, Spanish. [Chuckles]
535
00:20:15,586 --> 00:20:17,454
Well, it's actually Dominic.
536
00:20:17,488 --> 00:20:19,287
- Fab.
- Jessica.
537
00:20:24,661 --> 00:20:28,297
All right. [Chuckles]
538
00:20:28,332 --> 00:20:30,132
Wait.
539
00:20:30,166 --> 00:20:31,667
Is this about to get weird?
540
00:20:31,702 --> 00:20:35,705
By weird, do you mean a
little friendly competition?
541
00:20:35,739 --> 00:20:37,707
[Both laugh] Okay,
same rules as high school.
542
00:20:37,741 --> 00:20:40,676
Okay. Anything goes as
long as we stay friends.
543
00:20:40,711 --> 00:20:42,177
All right, let's do this.
544
00:20:42,212 --> 00:20:45,513
Whoo! [Laughs]
545
00:20:45,548 --> 00:20:46,614
Ooh!
546
00:20:53,272 --> 00:20:55,831
Anyway, Cal, I hope this wedding
lasts longer than the other two.
547
00:20:55,832 --> 00:20:57,516
But let's be real, between you and I,
548
00:20:57,517 --> 00:20:59,504
you probably won't even make
it out of the parking lot
549
00:20:59,505 --> 00:21:01,191
without getting a divorce.
550
00:21:01,192 --> 00:21:02,461
Wow! Thank you, Bruce!
551
00:21:02,462 --> 00:21:04,600
I mean, round of applause. So...
552
00:21:04,601 --> 00:21:06,038
[Clears throat] Your
new wife is looking at me.
553
00:21:07,045 --> 00:21:09,654
- Oh, my God, she is totally
winking at me. - Yeah.
554
00:21:09,655 --> 00:21:11,849
Also, I didn't get you guys a gift
555
00:21:11,850 --> 00:21:14,555
because everything on
your registry was over $10.
556
00:21:14,556 --> 00:21:16,547
Guys, seriously, though, this is...
557
00:21:16,548 --> 00:21:19,020
A stupid waste of our time.
558
00:21:19,021 --> 00:21:20,613
That's true, actually. Cal, let's go.
559
00:21:20,614 --> 00:21:22,931
God, it is hot in this forest.
560
00:21:22,932 --> 00:21:25,500
Okay, it's not a good time for that.
561
00:21:25,501 --> 00:21:27,055
- Ohh!
- Bruce?
562
00:21:27,056 --> 00:21:28,389
Thank you. [Exhales deeply]
563
00:21:28,390 --> 00:21:29,931
That is so much better.
564
00:21:29,932 --> 00:21:31,139
- Bruce.
- Let's get naked.
565
00:21:32,383 --> 00:21:34,211
.::Sync and corrected by thatjulio::.
.::www.addic7ed.com::.
566
00:21:34,261 --> 00:21:38,811
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