All language subtitles for Christine s02e10 What About Barb.eng

This is for you.

You got me a present?

Yeah. You invested all
that money in the gym.

You saved my ass.
You're co-owner now.

You deserve something.
Come on. Open it!

A key.

That unlocks the front door so you
can come and go whenever you want.

I know what a key does.

Where's my present?

That is the present.

You're so funny.

No, it's full access. I want you
to think of the gym as your own.

I gave you $20,000.

I do think of it as my own.

Oh, and check this out.

Your new desk.

Oh, look at this. It's so tiny.

Oh, look.
I can put my key on it,

and use it as a key chain.

Yeah, it is kind of small.

All right, well,
how about this?

How about, whoever gets here
first can use the big desk.

Well, today, I got here five
minutes before you, so...

We'll start tomorrow.

Okay, let's go tell
Ali what's happening.

So, Ali, kind of big news.

Barb has bought into the gym.

She is now a co-owner with me,

and we'll be running
things together.

Did you get fired?

Because you peed in the shower?

You peed in the shower?

It's not a big deal.

It might be the biggest
deal I've ever heard.

Oh, come on.
This is a gym, not a restaurant.

Barb and I are now co-owners,

and that means we're co-bosses,

and that means you have to
listen to both of us, okay?

Is that what it means?

Don't ask her.
I'm still your boss.

Is that true?

Okay, let's just move on.

- Oh, hey, honey.
- Hi, Mom.

Hi.

Hey! That's my old desk
from kindergarten.

What are you guys doing here?

I messed up my schedule. I got to go
to UCLA to register for my classes.

Matthew, Ritchie can't stay here.
I'm working.

Well, I can't take him with me.

Look, I can't leave Barb alone
at the gym. It's her first day.

She hasn't even gone
through orientation.

I have to orient her.

Women only, key goes under the plant,
don't pee in the shower.

Got it.

Take Ritchie. I'll be fine.

Besides, it'll give me
time to organize my desk

and put away my
Scooboby Doo lunchbox.

Okay, fine.
But if anything comes up,

you just call me,
all right? Ritchie!

Come on, sweetie pie.
I'm going to take you home.

- Okay.
- Okay, call me.

I'm going to need February off.

Personal reasons.

Transcript : Raceman
Subtitles : Amariss

- Hey.
- Hey.

Guys, if you're coming
over for dinner,

you've got to give
me more notice.

To give you time
to hide the boxes?

I only use that as a base, and then
I add my own secret ingredients.

Pepper.

We need to borrow
your overnight bag.

Oh, we've been divorced three years.
Get your own luggage.

Fine. Hang your own
Christmas lights.

It's in Matthew's room.

What do you need it for?

Our trip. Richard won't tell me
where we're going.

He's so romantic.

Yeah, he is.

I remember once he took me away on
vacation, he wouldn't tell me where.

It was camping.

With his parents.

In Death Valley.

Yeah. Before that trip,
they used to call it Happy Valley.

Camping? Is that
where we're going?

No, don't tell me. Is it?

No, I want to be surprised.
Is it?

Don't tell me.

I'm going to go say
good-bye to Ritchie.

So when are you
guys going away?

No, don't tell me.
Okay, tell me.

Friday.

Friday? What...
what am I supposed to do with Ritchie?

Matthew's busy,
I've got to stay with Barb at the gym,

I've been cooking all day,
I'm almost out of pepper.

This isn't a good time
for you to go away.

It's too late to cancel.
You knew about this.

Fine. Okay,
I guess I'll figure it out.

Where you guys going anyway?

So the bag's in Matthew's room?

Richard, come on.
I won't ruin the big surprise.

Where you guys going?

Somewhere up north.

Yeah? Napa?

Monterey?

Are you taking her to
the Big Sur Ranch?

The place where we
went on our honeymoon

and every anniversary?

The Big Sur Ranch?

Is that the ranch near Big Sur?

- Richard!
- All right!

We're going to
the Big Sur Ranch.

Wh-- What? That's the place where
we consecrated our marriage.

That's the church
of our marriage.

You're taking your girlfriend
to our sacred marriage church?

Why do you care?

We're not married anymore.

Remember the lawyers?
The arguments?

"I can't live like this anymore!"
"We're growing apart."

"That mustache doesn't help!"

And you said some things, too.

Okay, fine. Go. Whatever.

But when you're there,
may you think of nothing else

but the time we
spent there together.

May you look into
New Christine's eyes

and see only me.

Are you putting a curse on me?

Right. If I had
that kind of power,

I'd be four inches taller
and a million dollars richer.

Oh, and I'd do something
about war, too, I guess.

Maybe I would end it.

Mmm! Macaroni and pepper.

Hey, so did you sign up
for the premed course?

Yup. And, on my first day,

they're going to give
me a heart listener

and one of those
ear looker things.

- So when do you start?
- Next week.

Are you kidding me?

No.

What's wrong with your face?

Richard's going away,
and Barb's just starting at the gym.

What am I supposed
to do with Ritchie?

Well, we talked about hiring a nanny.
What's wrong with that?

I'm not ready for that.

I don't want some stranger coming into
my house to take care of my kid--

some woman named... Angela.

Pretty soon, Ritchie's going to be
calling for Angela in his sleep.

"I like Angela's
macaroni and cheese."

"Angela's good at math."

I hate Angela.

Well, don't blame Angela.
She's just doing her job.

I hate the way she judges me.

Come on. She's a nice girl.

I don't trust her.

There's no Angela, right?

No.

Oh, my God!
Richard, this is amazing!

Yeah. Isn't it?

A fireplace. And a round bed!

I've always wanted to
sleep on a round bed.

Or even an oval one.
I love new shapes.

Ooh, and a hot tub!

Is that an octagon?

Do you feel like a
glass of champagne?

I am way ahead of you.

I love it here. This is going
to be the best vacation ever.

Thank you, baby.

You're welcome.

I'm starving.
Let's order some food.

Okay.

Oh, yeah.
Get a couple of shrimp cocktails.

We are going to
have the best time.

Uh... What... what is that?
That's not our regular music.

Oh, Barb thought it
would pick up the mood.

What was wrong with the mood?

Barb said it was crap.

She's honest.

Way better than our old boss,
don't you think?

'Cause I think
she was a drinker.

You do know
I'm your old boss, right?

Yes.

You're sitting at my desk.

Our desk.

Remember whoever gets here
first gets the big desk?

That was the deal.

Yeah. A deal's a deal,
so enjoy.

Hey, you've been pretty busy.
I noticed you've moved

all the equipment around,
and you brought in a plant

and you changed the music.

Oh, yeah.
I couldn't stand it anymore.

That old music
was so depressing,

the stereo tried to
jump out the window.

Yeah. Yeah.
Unfortunately, though,

the old music was
provided by the company,

and as such,
we are contractually obliged to play it.

So... it's your second day.

Please, don't worry about,
you know?

You're bound to make mistakes.

The new music is also
from the company.

As such.

I found it in the back
with these T-shirts,

two wine glasses and a bra.

Yeah. That was from our
grand opening party.

This is a woman's-only gym.

Very much so.

But, look, if you want me to
put the old music back, I will.

No, no, no. It's fine.
It's fine, you know?

I'm just saying that
I wish you had asked me

before you changed
everything around.

I'm sorry. You weren't here.
I didn't think it was a big deal.

But next time, I'll ask.

Thank you.

I'll still be with you a lot of a time,
and, and so will Mommy,

but some of the time,
you'll be with the nanny.

But, you know what, Bud?
We're gonna pick that nanny together,

and if you don't like any of the
ones we interview, you can say no.

No.

Okay. Good job.

I am so late.

Okay, Ritchie, honey, Uncle Matthew's
gonna meet the nannies with you,

and then if you like any of them,
Mommy's gonna meet them

and then we can make the decision
together. Okay. I love you, Bud.

I'm so late.
I gotta get to work. Bye.

I like her.

Let's keep looking for
someone who cleans.

I really love it here.

This is the best vacation
I've ever been on.

Please don't lie to me.

Okay. It would be better
if we could have sex.

Or, technically,
if you could have sex.

I don't know what's
going on with me.

I was sure after the
hike and the shower

and the Pay Per View movie
something would happen, but...

It didn't.

I know, Christine. I was there.

It doesn't matter.
We're here together.

This is the best vacation ever.

For me, too.

Those movies were dirty, huh?

Yes!

Damn it.

Oh, God.
I've got to join a gym.

Christine, why don't you
just take the big desk?

No.

We have a deal.
Whoever gets here first.

It's obviously weirdly
important to you.

You take the desk.

Oh, mother.

So, Ali and I want to talk
to you about something.

Oh. You and Ali have
something to talk to me about.

Now, suddenly,
there's you and Ali.

Ali, can you come
in here, please?

What is that?

Did you have an
intercom installed?

It's on your phone.

You just press the INT button.

Oh, I thought that
was the Internet.

No wonder no one ever
gets my e-mails.

Hey, Al,
tell Christine your idea.

Oh. My cousin's
roommate has a friend

who knows the guy who takes
care of Tom Hanks's dogs.

So, I was thinking,
with his help,

we could break into his house,
and we...

No. No.

The, the, the other idea,
about the gym.

Oh, right.

I was thinking,
to increase membership,

maybe we could
offer a deal where,

if you get a friend to sign up,
you get a month free,

and if you get two friends to sign up,
you get two months free,

and if you get three
friends to sign up...

She gets it. She gets it.

Just show her,
show her the flyer.

We call it
"Better Body Buddies."

Can I be honest?

I don't love it.

Did you even read it?

Can I be honest? No.

Ali, can you give me a
minute with Christine?

It was nice working with you.

What's going on?
That's a good idea.

I mean, do you have something
against making more money?

Because money is good.

Look it up on the Internet.

No, I don't have something
against making money. Okay?

I do, however,
have something against a program

that rewards people
for being popular.

Okay? No. No.

What if you don't have
any friends to refer?

Okay? You get nothing.

What is this,
like junior high school?

No, I'm afraid I'm going to have
to use my veto power on this one.

Oh, wait. Wait a minute.
You said we were partners.

Yeah. We are.

But I'm the senior partner,
and you're the junior partner.

I'm the majority
and you're the...

Well...

Finish it.

I will not.

Oh, come on, Christine,
you said we were co-owners.

Well, on paper, but I started
this business. It's mine.

Of course I have a bigger say about
what does on here than you do.

You know,
I was really excited about this.

I thought, this is a chance to create
something wonderful with my friend,

but I see that we have
really different ideas

about what this is
supposed to be.

I feel like I'm a
pretty good boss.

You're not my boss.

I invested a lot of
money in this business.

I expect to be a real partner.

Well, can I be honest?

What a baby.

Ooh, I get the big desk.

It was great
meeting both of you.

And, Ritchie, if you decide
on the trumpet, let me know.

I'll bring you to my
orchestra rehearsal.

And I'd love you to come
back and meet Ritchie's mom.

Okay. I'll bring some of that
blueberry buckle I was talking about.

It won a prize.

It was a pleasure
meeting you, Ritchie.

Hope to see you soon.

Au revoir.

Do you remember
what that means?

Good-bye.

Okay, you had to
have loved her.

Musician, yoga teacher,
pastry chef.

Unless you can fly,
and turn raindrops into chocolate,

we're not gonna do any better.

What do you think?

We can do better.

Good morning.

How are you feeling?

So much better.

I really think all I needed
was a good night's sleep.

Oh, thank God.

Not that I wasn't
having a good time.

I'm fine either way.

But thank God.

Come back to bed.

I will. But first
I have a surprise for you.

Ooh. I love surprises.

Oh, Lord.

I found it in the
overnight bag.

I know you were saving it for a present,
but I thought we needed it now.

That's Old Christine's
old nightie.

She must have left it
in the overnight bag.

Eww.

Eww. Get it off. Get it of.

Get it off! Richard! Richard!

- Help me!
- Okay. Okay. Okay.

It's okay, it's okay.

Okay. It's okay. Okay. Okay.

It's okay. Okay.

I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have brought you here.

What? No? It's great.

This is the best vacation ever.

You can stop saying that.

What's happening?
Why is it so bad?

I wasn't gonna tell
you this, but...

this is where I came with
Christine on our honeymoon.

What?

Why would you bring me here?

I don't know.
I'm, I'm on their mailing list

and they sent me a thing
for a third night free.

So I thought,
"Great, there's a $200 savings."

Maybe you could have
saved even more money

and just slept with me
at your ex-wife's house.

I don't know.
I don't think I'd be able to perform.

Oh. I get it.

Look, please don't read
anything into this.

All I wanted to do was
surprise you with a nice trip,

have sex, eat,
save a couple of bucks.

That's it.

You're an idiot.

That's all I'm trying to say.

Oh, Barb. You're back.

I just came to get my
laptop and my $20,000.

Come on, Barb,
don't be like that.

Why are you so mad at me?

Because you were
petty and close-minded

and you didn't like
any of my ideas.

I don't like anybody's
ideas unless they're my own.

That's my thing.

It's cute on me.

The only thing that'll be cute on
you right now are tire tracks.

Oh, Barb!

Sorry. I'm mad at you.

I came here and tried
to improve this place.

I thought that's why you were
excited to have a partner

so we could build a
business together.

Well, I was excited
to have a partner.

I do want to build a business.

Then what's wrong? I mean why
do you treat me like the help?

I feel like everything is changing,
you know,

and not just here--
at home, too.

Matthew's ditching me to
become a stupid doctor.

And Angela's trying to
take Ritchie away from me.

You mean Angela,
the nanny who doesn't exist?

Yeah, that's right.

Wasn't Angela the name of
your imaginary neighbor

who was stealing your mail?

Oh, that's interesting.

Isn't Angela also
your mom's name?

I'm starting to
see a pattern here.

Look, crazy lady,

you're missing the whole point.

If I'm your partner, I could do
half the work if you'd let me,

and if I do half the work,
then you won't need an Angela

because you can take
care of Ritchie

and have time left over to--
please, God-- get some therapy.

No nanny.

Oh, my God.

You've just solved
all my problems.

Sweetie, that doesn't begin
to solve all your problems.

Oh, partner, you love me.

You really need help.

You love me.

Transcript : Raceman
Subtitles : Amariss

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