Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,356 --> 00:00:03,106
(rhythmic music)
2
00:00:19,868 --> 00:00:21,372
- Here you are madam.
3
00:00:21,372 --> 00:00:24,409
I do hope the garment
gives every satisfaction.
4
00:00:24,409 --> 00:00:26,659
- And you really think
that this type of corset
5
00:00:26,659 --> 00:00:28,827
will keep my figure under control?
6
00:00:28,827 --> 00:00:32,171
- Well the stiffness is the
best quality of whalebone.
7
00:00:32,171 --> 00:00:34,555
- Yes, but will they be strong enough?
8
00:00:34,555 --> 00:00:36,430
- Well, it's strong enough for the whale.
9
00:00:36,430 --> 00:00:39,430
(audience laughing)
10
00:00:40,970 --> 00:00:41,942
- Where was I?
11
00:00:41,942 --> 00:00:43,724
- You and Mrs. Axleby was
at the Pelly Dee Downs.
12
00:00:43,724 --> 00:00:45,013
- Oh yes.
13
00:00:45,013 --> 00:00:49,186
Well, I said oh don't
let's bother dressing up.
14
00:00:49,186 --> 00:00:52,042
So we just wore our
Diamantic cocktail frocks.
15
00:00:52,042 --> 00:00:52,889
You know the short ones
16
00:00:52,889 --> 00:00:54,436
'cause we both got very good legs.
17
00:00:54,436 --> 00:00:56,034
- Oh.
(audience laughing)
18
00:00:56,034 --> 00:00:57,786
- Did you wear your stiletto heels?
19
00:00:57,786 --> 00:00:58,766
- Well I did.
20
00:00:58,766 --> 00:01:00,831
They do wonders for your ankles.
21
00:01:00,831 --> 00:01:03,247
But Mrs. Axleby wore her open toe sandals
22
00:01:03,247 --> 00:01:05,397
'cause her bunion was flaring up again.
23
00:01:05,397 --> 00:01:06,230
- Oh.
(Audience laughing)
24
00:01:06,230 --> 00:01:08,392
- She's not still paying football is she?
25
00:01:08,392 --> 00:01:09,529
- Oh no.
26
00:01:09,529 --> 00:01:11,702
She gave that up when
they put her in goal.
27
00:01:11,702 --> 00:01:13,003
(audience laughing)
28
00:01:13,003 --> 00:01:15,819
Anyway, when we got inside,
29
00:01:15,819 --> 00:01:18,918
they were the funniest
looking lot of fellas
30
00:01:18,918 --> 00:01:21,682
you've ever seen in your life.
31
00:01:21,682 --> 00:01:24,221
So after we looked them
over for about an hour,
32
00:01:24,221 --> 00:01:26,436
I said well, I said I
don't care if anybody
33
00:01:26,436 --> 00:01:28,593
does ask me to dance, I'm not going to.
34
00:01:28,593 --> 00:01:30,403
- Ah, I don't blame you.
35
00:01:30,403 --> 00:01:33,371
- So for the rest of the evening,
we danced with each other.
36
00:01:33,371 --> 00:01:34,204
- Who led?
37
00:01:34,204 --> 00:01:37,292
- Oh we took it in turns to
start people talking, you know.
38
00:01:37,292 --> 00:01:39,870
(audience laughing)
39
00:01:39,870 --> 00:01:43,418
Anyway, at midnight,
they played a Paul Jones.
40
00:01:43,418 --> 00:01:45,747
Well Mrs. Axleby knows
the band leader, you see.
41
00:01:45,747 --> 00:01:47,336
She tipped him the wink.
42
00:01:47,336 --> 00:01:49,137
And would you believe it?
43
00:01:49,137 --> 00:01:53,648
Every time the music
stopped, counts of praise,
44
00:01:53,648 --> 00:01:55,066
we was opposite to each other.
45
00:01:55,066 --> 00:01:56,415
(audience laughing)
46
00:01:56,415 --> 00:01:58,057
Oh we did laugh.
47
00:01:58,057 --> 00:02:00,062
Are you being served madam?
48
00:02:00,062 --> 00:02:00,895
- There you are sir.
49
00:02:00,895 --> 00:02:02,690
And don't worry if the
nightshirt is too long,
50
00:02:02,690 --> 00:02:04,242
they do ride up with wear.
51
00:02:04,242 --> 00:02:07,009
(audience laughing)
52
00:02:07,009 --> 00:02:08,356
- Now where was I?
53
00:02:08,356 --> 00:02:10,064
You'd just seen John
Curry on the television,
54
00:02:10,064 --> 00:02:11,659
and decided to take up ice skating.
55
00:02:11,659 --> 00:02:13,251
- Oh yes, so I took six lessons
56
00:02:13,251 --> 00:02:14,426
with this marvelous instructor.
57
00:02:14,426 --> 00:02:16,006
There ever so good now you know?
58
00:02:16,006 --> 00:02:17,767
They keep their arm around
ya and they hang on to ya
59
00:02:17,767 --> 00:02:20,131
and they don't let you go
until their absolutely sure
60
00:02:20,131 --> 00:02:22,213
that you're developing on the right lines.
61
00:02:22,213 --> 00:02:23,962
(audience laughing)
62
00:02:23,962 --> 00:02:25,235
- Did he think you showed promise?
63
00:02:25,235 --> 00:02:27,188
- What makes you think it's a he?
64
00:02:27,188 --> 00:02:28,914
Anyways, she said some
people are born with it
65
00:02:28,914 --> 00:02:30,781
and some people aren't.
66
00:02:30,781 --> 00:02:32,861
- Yeah, what did she say about you?
67
00:02:32,861 --> 00:02:34,556
- Well, she said I was
definitely born with it.
68
00:02:34,556 --> 00:02:36,238
(audience laughing)
69
00:02:36,238 --> 00:02:37,216
On the other hand, she did say
70
00:02:37,216 --> 00:02:39,007
I left it a bit late to give it a try.
71
00:02:39,007 --> 00:02:40,682
(audience laughing)
72
00:02:40,682 --> 00:02:41,736
- Have you gone solo yet?
73
00:02:41,736 --> 00:02:43,364
- Yes, for the last time.
74
00:02:43,364 --> 00:02:44,197
- Why, what happened?
75
00:02:44,197 --> 00:02:46,218
- Well, I got carried away
with the music, didn't I?
76
00:02:46,218 --> 00:02:47,727
There I was happily skating to the
77
00:02:47,727 --> 00:02:49,511
strings of I Did It My Way
78
00:02:49,511 --> 00:02:50,582
when the next thing I knew
79
00:02:50,582 --> 00:02:53,530
I was unable to negotiable a turn.
80
00:02:53,530 --> 00:02:55,851
I found me self running
backwards at 50 mph
81
00:02:55,851 --> 00:02:56,839
across the coconut mat
82
00:02:56,839 --> 00:02:58,794
and straight into the
gentleman's changing room.
83
00:02:58,794 --> 00:03:00,078
(audience laughing)
84
00:03:00,078 --> 00:03:01,276
- Did you hurt yourself?
85
00:03:01,276 --> 00:03:02,507
- Nothing that nature couldn't mend.
86
00:03:02,507 --> 00:03:04,093
(audience laughing)
87
00:03:04,093 --> 00:03:05,555
- I made a lot of new friends there.
88
00:03:05,555 --> 00:03:07,729
(brunette man laughing)
(audience laughing)
89
00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:09,492
- Mr. Humphries, Mr. Lucas.
90
00:03:09,492 --> 00:03:12,610
You've done nothing
but gossip all morning.
91
00:03:12,610 --> 00:03:14,901
Trying to pay attention to customers.
92
00:03:14,901 --> 00:03:16,003
- I'm sorry Mr. Grainger.
93
00:03:16,003 --> 00:03:16,836
Are you being--
94
00:03:16,836 --> 00:03:17,932
- Uh no, that's my customer.
95
00:03:17,932 --> 00:03:19,965
I saw him first.
96
00:03:19,965 --> 00:03:20,798
Have you been served--
97
00:03:20,798 --> 00:03:21,631
- What's a matter with him?
98
00:03:21,631 --> 00:03:22,530
- Ask him next Monday.
99
00:03:22,530 --> 00:03:24,770
It's bra week and he's got
to lose the center stand
100
00:03:24,770 --> 00:03:27,484
to Mrs. Slocombe's underwear.
101
00:03:27,484 --> 00:03:28,760
- He'll be put down you know?
102
00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:30,447
- Oh, he's like a little ole' tin Hitler.
103
00:03:30,447 --> 00:03:31,757
(audience laughing)
104
00:03:31,757 --> 00:03:33,458
- Still as my mother
always said, you know,
105
00:03:33,458 --> 00:03:34,873
life is like a game of chess.
106
00:03:34,873 --> 00:03:36,205
At the end of the day, the black pawn
107
00:03:36,205 --> 00:03:38,638
and the white queen
both go in the same box.
108
00:03:38,638 --> 00:03:40,391
- Ew. That's something to look forward to.
109
00:03:40,391 --> 00:03:43,333
(audience laughing)
110
00:03:43,333 --> 00:03:45,636
- And I've put the tax in here as well.
111
00:03:45,636 --> 00:03:48,467
And don't worry if the
gosset hangs a little low.
112
00:03:48,467 --> 00:03:50,717
You'll find it will ride up with wear.
113
00:03:50,717 --> 00:03:53,622
(audience laughing)
114
00:03:53,622 --> 00:03:55,300
- Yet another sale Mrs. Slocombe?
115
00:03:55,300 --> 00:03:56,594
- Yes, Mrs. Brahams and I
116
00:03:56,594 --> 00:03:59,717
do seem to have the
golden touch this week.
117
00:03:59,717 --> 00:04:01,838
- I wish I could say the
same for Mr. Grainger.
118
00:04:01,838 --> 00:04:04,159
He insist on taking every savor himself
119
00:04:04,159 --> 00:04:06,116
and more often than not,
fails to complete it.
120
00:04:06,116 --> 00:04:08,275
- Is that why he's been so bad tempered?
121
00:04:08,275 --> 00:04:10,429
- That, plus the fact that you're having
122
00:04:10,429 --> 00:04:12,239
your special undie drive next week.
123
00:04:12,239 --> 00:04:14,762
- Ew, has he heard about us
getting the center stand?
124
00:04:14,762 --> 00:04:16,338
- He has indeed.
125
00:04:16,338 --> 00:04:18,631
And he has appealed over
my head to Mr. Rumbold.
126
00:04:18,631 --> 00:04:20,256
- (sighs) Ah, fancy.
127
00:04:20,256 --> 00:04:21,623
- The cheek of it.
128
00:04:21,623 --> 00:04:23,331
- Don't worry Mrs. Slocombe.
129
00:04:23,331 --> 00:04:25,081
Mr. Rumbold will not likely overturn
130
00:04:25,081 --> 00:04:27,170
my ruling on the matter.
131
00:04:27,170 --> 00:04:29,739
- What does it feel
like to have such power?
132
00:04:29,739 --> 00:04:30,710
- Frightening.
133
00:04:30,710 --> 00:04:32,536
(audience laughing)
134
00:04:32,536 --> 00:04:34,979
(Harman singing)
135
00:04:34,979 --> 00:04:37,276
- Oh shall I change the
central display unit
136
00:04:37,276 --> 00:04:38,809
over now, Captain Peacock?
137
00:04:38,809 --> 00:04:40,634
- Not yet Mr. Harman.
138
00:04:40,634 --> 00:04:41,596
- Do you know how to set up
139
00:04:41,596 --> 00:04:43,672
the display unit, Captain Peacock?
140
00:04:43,672 --> 00:04:44,542
- Why do you ask?
141
00:04:44,542 --> 00:04:47,492
- Because in five minutes time,
you're gonna have to do it.
142
00:04:47,492 --> 00:04:50,438
Because I've got tickets
for Queens Park Rangers.
143
00:04:50,438 --> 00:04:51,729
(audience laughing)
144
00:04:51,729 --> 00:04:54,210
- I have to await the final
decision or Mr. Rumbold.
145
00:04:54,210 --> 00:04:56,595
- Oh that reminds me, they give me this.
146
00:04:56,595 --> 00:05:00,262
(sighs and clearing throat)
147
00:05:04,373 --> 00:05:06,364
- And the winner is...
148
00:05:06,364 --> 00:05:09,364
(audience laughing)
149
00:05:12,367 --> 00:05:14,422
(snickering)
150
00:05:14,422 --> 00:05:15,603
- Come with me Miss. Slocombe.
151
00:05:15,603 --> 00:05:16,859
- Can I come too?
152
00:05:16,859 --> 00:05:19,107
- Now what do you think, Captain Peacock?
153
00:05:19,107 --> 00:05:20,761
- In this case, it would be more tactful
154
00:05:20,761 --> 00:05:24,345
if the meeting was confined
to the senior sales staff.
155
00:05:24,345 --> 00:05:27,595
- I'm sorry Mrs. Brahms, not this time.
156
00:05:29,842 --> 00:05:32,502
- Where is uh, Mr. Grainger?
157
00:05:32,502 --> 00:05:36,047
- He's looking for a 32/34
herringbone for a customer.
158
00:05:36,047 --> 00:05:36,970
- Well, where's the customer?
159
00:05:36,970 --> 00:05:38,183
- He left, five minutes ago.
160
00:05:38,183 --> 00:05:40,643
(audience laughing)
161
00:05:40,643 --> 00:05:43,682
- I think you'll find
these just snug fit, sir.
162
00:05:43,682 --> 00:05:45,237
Where's he gone?
163
00:05:45,237 --> 00:05:46,503
- The complaints department.
164
00:05:46,503 --> 00:05:47,930
(audience laughing)
165
00:05:47,930 --> 00:05:50,527
- People now a days have no patience.
166
00:05:50,527 --> 00:05:52,031
- Are you free Mr. Grainger?
167
00:05:52,031 --> 00:05:53,455
- No!
168
00:05:53,455 --> 00:05:55,014
I've got to take these fiddling trousers
169
00:05:55,014 --> 00:05:56,442
back to the fiddling rack.
170
00:05:56,442 --> 00:05:57,563
(audience laughing)
171
00:05:57,563 --> 00:05:59,813
- Give them to your junior.
172
00:06:01,325 --> 00:06:03,825
- I'm not the junior,
Mr. Lucas is the junior.
173
00:06:03,825 --> 00:06:06,786
- You're my junior so you
can damn well take 'em.
174
00:06:06,786 --> 00:06:08,913
- Well in that case, I shall
pass them on to my junior.
175
00:06:08,913 --> 00:06:09,991
- As far as I'm concerned,
176
00:06:09,991 --> 00:06:11,938
you can throw them out of the window.
177
00:06:11,938 --> 00:06:13,391
- Oh oh oh, temper temper.
178
00:06:13,391 --> 00:06:14,685
(audience laughing)
179
00:06:14,685 --> 00:06:15,895
- Mr. Lucas, see to these.
180
00:06:15,895 --> 00:06:17,269
- Don't take it out on me.
181
00:06:17,269 --> 00:06:19,447
- And don't you answer me back
or you'll get my dander up.
182
00:06:19,447 --> 00:06:22,447
(audience laughing)
183
00:06:23,413 --> 00:06:26,703
- Would you come over here Mr. Grainger?
184
00:06:26,703 --> 00:06:29,423
- Yes Kevin Peacock, what is it?
185
00:06:29,423 --> 00:06:30,327
- You saw fit to appeal against
186
00:06:30,327 --> 00:06:33,349
my ruling regarding the center stand.
187
00:06:33,349 --> 00:06:36,776
I have here Mr. Rumbold's
final decision on the matter.
188
00:06:36,776 --> 00:06:37,890
- Which is?
189
00:06:37,890 --> 00:06:39,552
- Appeal disallowed.
190
00:06:39,552 --> 00:06:42,385
(paper crumbling)
191
00:06:45,545 --> 00:06:48,545
(audience laughing)
192
00:06:50,329 --> 00:06:52,334
- And then apparently, he tore up my memo,
193
00:06:52,334 --> 00:06:55,543
threw it on the floor, and jumped on it.
194
00:06:55,543 --> 00:06:59,359
- Well then, deal with
it yourself Mr. Rumbold.
195
00:06:59,359 --> 00:07:03,332
Jumping on pieces of paper
doesn't sound very serious to me.
196
00:07:03,332 --> 00:07:06,092
You can't sack a man for that.
197
00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:09,519
All men all get a bit
short-tempered at times.
198
00:07:09,519 --> 00:07:11,994
I'm very busy, go home and boil your head.
199
00:07:11,994 --> 00:07:14,994
(audience laughing)
200
00:07:19,042 --> 00:07:20,048
- Uh, Peacock, yeah.
201
00:07:20,048 --> 00:07:21,758
You better all come in here
202
00:07:21,758 --> 00:07:23,032
except for Mr. Grainger.
203
00:07:23,032 --> 00:07:26,199
But don't let him leave the store, hm?
204
00:07:27,641 --> 00:07:29,463
- Mrs. Slocombe and Mrs. Brahms,
205
00:07:29,463 --> 00:07:31,903
Mr. Rumbold would like a
word with us in his office.
206
00:07:31,903 --> 00:07:33,570
Eh, it's about um...
207
00:07:36,643 --> 00:07:39,643
(audience laughing)
208
00:07:40,893 --> 00:07:42,213
Mr. Lucas, Mr. Humphries.
209
00:07:42,213 --> 00:07:43,432
- Yes, Captain Peacock.
210
00:07:43,432 --> 00:07:45,688
- Mr. Rumbold would like a
word with us in his office.
211
00:07:45,688 --> 00:07:48,256
- Oh is it about uh...
212
00:07:48,256 --> 00:07:51,246
(audience laughing)
213
00:07:51,246 --> 00:07:52,961
- Is it about uh...
214
00:07:52,961 --> 00:07:55,961
(audience laughing)
215
00:07:58,475 --> 00:08:00,396
- Mr. Grainger...
216
00:08:00,396 --> 00:08:01,229
Not you.
217
00:08:02,944 --> 00:08:05,539
- Not me, Captain Peacock?
218
00:08:05,539 --> 00:08:07,302
- Not you, Mr. Grainger.
219
00:08:07,302 --> 00:08:08,135
- Why not?
220
00:08:09,687 --> 00:08:11,813
- Because he does not wish to see you.
221
00:08:11,813 --> 00:08:13,859
He may however, wish to see you later.
222
00:08:13,859 --> 00:08:16,241
So you will not leave the store.
223
00:08:16,241 --> 00:08:19,491
- I shall leave the store if I want to!
224
00:08:22,639 --> 00:08:24,231
But I don't want to.
225
00:08:24,231 --> 00:08:26,964
(audience laughing)
226
00:08:26,964 --> 00:08:28,689
- Well none of this comes
as a surprise to me.
227
00:08:28,689 --> 00:08:31,779
Mr. Grainger is after
all of advanced years.
228
00:08:31,779 --> 00:08:33,965
- And men do off quicker than women.
229
00:08:33,965 --> 00:08:36,562
(audience laughing)
230
00:08:36,562 --> 00:08:38,078
- He's become impossible to live with.
231
00:08:38,078 --> 00:08:39,861
- He's been ever so crabby.
232
00:08:39,861 --> 00:08:42,256
- I don't want to say anything against him
233
00:08:42,256 --> 00:08:44,487
but I think he's going soft in the head.
234
00:08:44,487 --> 00:08:46,248
(audience laughing)
235
00:08:46,248 --> 00:08:48,333
- He should have retired some time ago.
236
00:08:48,333 --> 00:08:51,442
I mean he went completely to
pieces in the sale last week.
237
00:08:51,442 --> 00:08:53,440
- Hm, And it's his eyesight as well.
238
00:08:53,440 --> 00:08:55,477
Got his tape measure
upside down the other day.
239
00:08:55,477 --> 00:08:57,477
Measured a little boy scout
for a pair of trousers
240
00:08:57,477 --> 00:08:59,471
and gave him a 38 in side leg.
241
00:08:59,471 --> 00:09:02,229
(audience laughing)
242
00:09:02,229 --> 00:09:03,944
- And he buttoned the waist
over the little lad's head
243
00:09:03,944 --> 00:09:05,415
and said they dried up with wear.
244
00:09:05,415 --> 00:09:08,200
(audience laughing)
245
00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:09,112
What about the till?
246
00:09:09,112 --> 00:09:11,829
You know his hand shakes
so much it's like roulette.
247
00:09:11,829 --> 00:09:15,529
Only this afternoon, he
rang up no sale 74 pounds.
248
00:09:15,529 --> 00:09:18,301
Now what are accounts
going to make of that?
249
00:09:18,301 --> 00:09:20,457
- Well, his hearing's going as well.
250
00:09:20,457 --> 00:09:23,570
The other day, somebody
asked for the gents cloaks
251
00:09:23,570 --> 00:09:26,074
and he tried to sell them a
top hat and cane to go with it.
252
00:09:26,074 --> 00:09:28,846
(audience laughing)
253
00:09:28,846 --> 00:09:31,327
- Yes but, what are we
going to do about it?
254
00:09:31,327 --> 00:09:34,524
- Well I suppose sir, we could
do what they do with faithful
255
00:09:34,524 --> 00:09:36,840
old horses who could no
longer pull their heavy load
256
00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:38,616
along life's highway.
257
00:09:38,616 --> 00:09:40,532
- You mean uh, put 'em out to grass?
258
00:09:40,532 --> 00:09:42,013
- No, send 'em to the knackers yard.
259
00:09:42,013 --> 00:09:45,013
(audience laughing)
260
00:09:46,038 --> 00:09:47,248
- I think the general consensus
261
00:09:47,248 --> 00:09:49,455
of opinion is that he should go.
262
00:09:49,455 --> 00:09:52,166
- Uh, yes but how are
we going to replace him?
263
00:09:52,166 --> 00:09:54,359
Mr. Humphries, have you got the confidence
264
00:09:54,359 --> 00:09:55,755
to step into his shoes?
265
00:09:55,755 --> 00:09:57,585
- Oh I have the confidence.
266
00:09:57,585 --> 00:09:59,660
- And he has the experience,
too, haven't you Mr. Humphries?
267
00:09:59,660 --> 00:10:01,262
- Doesn't it show in my face?
268
00:10:01,262 --> 00:10:02,263
- Yeah.
269
00:10:02,263 --> 00:10:03,739
(audience laughing)
270
00:10:03,739 --> 00:10:05,341
- And uh, could Mr. Lucas
271
00:10:05,341 --> 00:10:08,453
fill the gap left by Mr. Humphries?
272
00:10:08,453 --> 00:10:11,249
- I don't think he's ready for that yet.
273
00:10:11,249 --> 00:10:13,111
Needs somebody with a lot of experience
274
00:10:13,111 --> 00:10:14,888
to take over middle position.
275
00:10:14,888 --> 00:10:16,210
- Oh I agree.
276
00:10:16,210 --> 00:10:17,043
(audience laughing)
277
00:10:17,043 --> 00:10:18,591
- What are you talking about?
278
00:10:18,591 --> 00:10:20,523
Alexander the Great was
only my age when he died
279
00:10:20,523 --> 00:10:22,400
but he's was practically
root in the world.
280
00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:24,319
- Hm yes, but could he take an inside leg?
281
00:10:24,319 --> 00:10:26,890
(audience laughing)
282
00:10:26,890 --> 00:10:29,160
- Well he'll never go
of his own free will.
283
00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:30,879
And there's no reasoning with him.
284
00:10:30,879 --> 00:10:33,243
I mean look at the way
he tore up your memo.
285
00:10:33,243 --> 00:10:35,144
- Mrs. Slocombe's right.
286
00:10:35,144 --> 00:10:37,622
- What a pitiful sight
it's going to be, isn't it?
287
00:10:37,622 --> 00:10:39,940
Mr. Rumbold forcing him into the lift.
288
00:10:39,940 --> 00:10:41,752
Pressing the down button.
289
00:10:41,752 --> 00:10:43,564
The doors closing for the last time
290
00:10:43,564 --> 00:10:46,323
on that tear-stained wrinkled old face.
291
00:10:46,323 --> 00:10:48,837
As it disappears forever
into the bargain basement.
292
00:10:48,837 --> 00:10:49,920
(audience laughing)
293
00:10:49,920 --> 00:10:51,851
- Don't let 'em have my tape measure.
294
00:10:51,851 --> 00:10:52,779
(audience laughing)
295
00:10:52,779 --> 00:10:55,965
Let me say farewell to my trousers.
296
00:10:55,965 --> 00:10:57,637
- Mr. Lucas, please.
297
00:10:57,637 --> 00:10:58,619
Quite right, Captain Peacock,
298
00:10:58,619 --> 00:11:01,251
he's not ready for promotion yet.
299
00:11:01,251 --> 00:11:03,250
- Will you tell Mr. Grainger though?
300
00:11:03,250 --> 00:11:04,083
- No.
301
00:11:04,083 --> 00:11:07,456
No, these forced retirements
are really tricky things.
302
00:11:07,456 --> 00:11:10,248
It would be better coming
from young Mr. Grace, himself.
303
00:11:10,248 --> 00:11:11,810
- I think Mr. Rumbold's right.
304
00:11:11,810 --> 00:11:13,314
- Oh, thank you Mr. Lucas.
305
00:11:13,314 --> 00:11:15,298
- Well it's very difficult to
tell somebody in their 70's
306
00:11:15,298 --> 00:11:16,795
that you're old.
307
00:11:16,795 --> 00:11:19,287
It softens the blow if it comes
from somebody in their 80's.
308
00:11:19,287 --> 00:11:22,287
(audience laughing)
309
00:11:25,015 --> 00:11:26,229
- Are they still in there?
310
00:11:26,229 --> 00:11:27,804
- Yeah, I did what you asked me to do.
311
00:11:27,804 --> 00:11:31,271
I stood outside the door and listened.
312
00:11:31,271 --> 00:11:33,244
Wanna hear the good news or the bad news?
313
00:11:33,244 --> 00:11:34,792
(audience laughing)
314
00:11:34,792 --> 00:11:35,903
- The good news.
315
00:11:35,903 --> 00:11:38,973
- Well the good news is I could
hear every word they said.
316
00:11:38,973 --> 00:11:41,973
(audience laughing)
317
00:11:45,289 --> 00:11:46,548
- And the bad news?
318
00:11:46,548 --> 00:11:48,054
- Every word they said.
319
00:11:48,054 --> 00:11:50,194
(audience laughing)
320
00:11:50,194 --> 00:11:52,133
They want to give you the bullet.
321
00:11:52,133 --> 00:11:53,264
- Do they?
322
00:11:53,264 --> 00:11:54,960
Were they all against me?
323
00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:55,911
- Oh no no, they all wanted
324
00:11:55,911 --> 00:11:58,075
to give you the sack except Mr. Lucas.
325
00:11:58,075 --> 00:11:59,539
(laughing)
326
00:11:59,539 --> 00:12:01,052
- Dear boy.
327
00:12:01,052 --> 00:12:03,462
- Yeah, he wanted to send
you to the knacker's yard.
328
00:12:03,462 --> 00:12:06,462
(audience laughing)
329
00:12:11,289 --> 00:12:13,384
- Of course, I have been really crotchy
330
00:12:13,384 --> 00:12:15,406
to you lately, you know.
331
00:12:15,406 --> 00:12:18,296
Been even wop with the sales and
332
00:12:18,296 --> 00:12:21,365
Mrs. Grainger hasn't been well.
333
00:12:21,365 --> 00:12:23,321
You know she was terribly upset
334
00:12:23,321 --> 00:12:26,658
when Mrs Dale's Diary stopped, you know?
335
00:12:26,658 --> 00:12:27,941
(audience laughing)
336
00:12:27,941 --> 00:12:30,509
- That went off the air 20 years ago.
337
00:12:30,509 --> 00:12:32,288
- Yes, but she does miss it.
338
00:12:32,288 --> 00:12:34,358
(audience laughing)
339
00:12:34,358 --> 00:12:35,509
- Of course, that's no excuse
340
00:12:35,509 --> 00:12:37,758
for me to behaving the way I did.
341
00:12:37,758 --> 00:12:41,925
- Uh, if I was you, I'd
choose the honorable way out.
342
00:12:43,502 --> 00:12:45,001
- What you mean, suicide?
343
00:12:45,001 --> 00:12:47,236
(audience laughing)
344
00:12:47,236 --> 00:12:48,069
- Resign.
345
00:12:49,103 --> 00:12:52,284
Listen, get in first before
they give you your cards.
346
00:12:52,284 --> 00:12:53,736
Go on.
347
00:12:53,736 --> 00:12:55,350
- Yes, you are probably right.
348
00:12:55,350 --> 00:12:56,868
- Yeah.
349
00:12:56,868 --> 00:12:59,201
Yeah, well I'll be off then.
350
00:13:01,219 --> 00:13:03,270
You'll be alright, won't you?
351
00:13:03,270 --> 00:13:05,270
- Yes, I shan't be long.
352
00:13:18,699 --> 00:13:20,720
- You'll keep in touch with me so?
353
00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:22,137
- Oh yes, I will.
354
00:13:23,102 --> 00:13:25,816
And thank you very much Mr. Harman.
355
00:13:25,816 --> 00:13:28,149
You've been very kind to me.
356
00:13:34,292 --> 00:13:35,542
Dear Mr. Grace,
357
00:13:37,773 --> 00:13:39,273
I Ernest Grainger,
358
00:13:42,447 --> 00:13:44,540
being of sound mind
359
00:13:44,540 --> 00:13:46,583
(audience laughing)
360
00:13:46,583 --> 00:13:49,750
having given the best years of my life
361
00:13:50,936 --> 00:13:52,103
to your store.
362
00:13:54,328 --> 00:13:55,245
Regretfully
363
00:13:58,019 --> 00:13:58,983
- Oh, here we go again.
364
00:13:58,983 --> 00:14:00,658
Another week of magic at grace, brother.
365
00:14:00,658 --> 00:14:03,170
- Just get these covers
off Alexander the Great .
366
00:14:03,170 --> 00:14:04,289
(moaning)
367
00:14:04,289 --> 00:14:06,240
- You step into Mr.
Grainger's shoes already?
368
00:14:06,240 --> 00:14:07,953
- He's obviously not coming in.
369
00:14:07,953 --> 00:14:09,834
I mean when anybody leaves
a rolled up tape measure
370
00:14:09,834 --> 00:14:11,470
and a letter addressed to Mr. Grace,
371
00:14:11,470 --> 00:14:12,912
it could only mean one thing.
372
00:14:12,912 --> 00:14:14,337
He's resigned.
373
00:14:14,337 --> 00:14:16,474
- After the night of the long knives.
374
00:14:16,474 --> 00:14:18,152
- We were only doing our duty.
375
00:14:18,152 --> 00:14:20,332
When questioned, I answered
nothing but the truth
376
00:14:20,332 --> 00:14:22,166
as my mother always taught me to do.
377
00:14:22,166 --> 00:14:23,919
- Well he brought it all on himself.
378
00:14:23,919 --> 00:14:26,881
- He was thoroughly
obstropolous to me last.
379
00:14:26,881 --> 00:14:28,103
(audience laughing)
380
00:14:28,103 --> 00:14:30,635
- We can't help feeling
sorry for him, can you?
381
00:14:30,635 --> 00:14:31,922
- Well there's no need to.
382
00:14:31,922 --> 00:14:34,068
He's made his own bed, he must lie in it.
383
00:14:34,068 --> 00:14:35,522
- Yeah, next to Mrs. Grainger.
384
00:14:35,522 --> 00:14:37,471
(audience laughing)
385
00:14:37,471 --> 00:14:40,168
Whilst he's lying there,
you can explain to him
386
00:14:40,168 --> 00:14:41,830
that they'll probably spend
the rest of their lives
387
00:14:41,830 --> 00:14:43,081
in bed together.
388
00:14:43,081 --> 00:14:44,320
On account of the fact
that you can't afford
389
00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:47,509
the central heat on his old age pension.
390
00:14:47,509 --> 00:14:49,429
- You was the one who
wanted him knackered.
391
00:14:49,429 --> 00:14:52,737
(audience laughing)
392
00:14:52,737 --> 00:14:54,727
- I don't think we need
to reproach ourselves.
393
00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:57,213
After all the decision
is not in our hands.
394
00:14:57,213 --> 00:14:58,753
We do not employ Mr. Grainger.
395
00:14:58,753 --> 00:15:00,375
We do not sack Mr. Grainger.
396
00:15:00,375 --> 00:15:01,576
Mr. Grace does.
397
00:15:01,576 --> 00:15:03,518
- Yeah, but he'll still
blame us, won't he?
398
00:15:03,518 --> 00:15:04,471
- Of course, he will.
399
00:15:04,471 --> 00:15:06,994
He'll come in here and he'll
take it out on all of us
400
00:15:06,994 --> 00:15:10,205
for the next two weeks while
he's working out his notice.
401
00:15:10,205 --> 00:15:12,074
- Are we gonna buy him a farewell present?
402
00:15:12,074 --> 00:15:14,176
- Not unless he apologizes.
403
00:15:14,176 --> 00:15:16,246
- (scoffs) I don't think
there's much chance of that.
404
00:15:16,246 --> 00:15:18,234
I understand that Mr. Harman
405
00:15:18,234 --> 00:15:21,191
reported our discussion
to him, word for word.
406
00:15:21,191 --> 00:15:22,441
- He didn't.
407
00:15:22,441 --> 00:15:26,197
- How could he do a thing
like that behind our backs?
408
00:15:26,197 --> 00:15:27,897
- Deceit, thy name is man.
409
00:15:27,897 --> 00:15:28,793
(audience laughing)
(elevator bell chiming)
410
00:15:28,793 --> 00:15:30,446
- Hey that's the lift, that could be him.
411
00:15:30,446 --> 00:15:31,343
- Ew, what should we do?
412
00:15:31,343 --> 00:15:32,211
- Nothing.
413
00:15:32,211 --> 00:15:33,659
He started it.
414
00:15:33,659 --> 00:15:36,048
It's up to him to make the first move.
415
00:15:36,048 --> 00:15:38,131
- Good morning everybody.
416
00:15:39,141 --> 00:15:41,058
I really must apologize
417
00:15:42,964 --> 00:15:44,214
for being late.
418
00:15:45,073 --> 00:15:48,127
- I will take note of your
apology, Mr. Grainger.
419
00:15:48,127 --> 00:15:51,817
- May I have a word
with your Mrs. Slocombe?
420
00:15:51,817 --> 00:15:53,521
- Don't start! Don't you start!
421
00:15:53,521 --> 00:15:54,354
(audience laughing)
422
00:15:54,354 --> 00:15:55,660
Mrs. Brahms, get behind me.
423
00:15:55,660 --> 00:15:57,072
Captain Peacock, I want you to listen
424
00:15:57,072 --> 00:15:59,340
to every word that's said.
425
00:15:59,340 --> 00:16:00,836
- Oh well in that case I suppose
426
00:16:00,836 --> 00:16:03,276
I'd better say it to everybody.
427
00:16:03,276 --> 00:16:06,735
I'm very sorry that I was so rude
428
00:16:06,735 --> 00:16:08,912
and unpleasant to you all.
429
00:16:08,912 --> 00:16:11,495
It was very wrong of me indeed.
430
00:16:12,644 --> 00:16:15,477
Will you forgive me, Mr. Slocombe?
431
00:16:16,575 --> 00:16:18,309
- Of course.
432
00:16:18,309 --> 00:16:19,476
- Mrs. Brahms?
433
00:16:21,264 --> 00:16:22,843
Mr. Lucas.
434
00:16:22,843 --> 00:16:24,587
Mr. Humphries.
435
00:16:24,587 --> 00:16:26,170
My dear colleagues.
436
00:16:28,377 --> 00:16:30,294
Steven, what can I say?
437
00:16:31,264 --> 00:16:32,350
- Oh it's too much.
438
00:16:32,350 --> 00:16:37,136
I'm all over...
(audience laughing)
439
00:16:37,136 --> 00:16:40,219
- I'm just going to take off my coat.
440
00:16:42,312 --> 00:16:44,127
- Well I'll go to the foot our of stairs.
441
00:16:44,127 --> 00:16:46,030
(audience laughing)
442
00:16:46,030 --> 00:16:47,529
What was all that about?
443
00:16:47,529 --> 00:16:49,029
- Oh I feel awful.
444
00:16:50,701 --> 00:16:52,494
He just started the most difficult phrase
445
00:16:52,494 --> 00:16:54,277
of the English language,
446
00:16:54,277 --> 00:16:55,878
I'm sorry.
447
00:16:55,878 --> 00:16:58,569
- Well it was his fault.
448
00:16:58,569 --> 00:17:00,808
- That's what makes it so difficult.
449
00:17:00,808 --> 00:17:04,854
- You know, it's the sort
of thing that saints do.
450
00:17:04,854 --> 00:17:08,153
I wonder if he's got
some spiritual awakening.
451
00:17:08,153 --> 00:17:10,449
You know it's the sort of thing
that happened to Saint Jones
452
00:17:10,449 --> 00:17:13,087
when those soldiers lit
them faggots under our feet.
453
00:17:13,087 --> 00:17:15,636
(audience laughing)
454
00:17:15,636 --> 00:17:17,857
- That was enough to make anybody
to sit up and take notice.
455
00:17:17,857 --> 00:17:20,067
(audience laughing)
456
00:17:20,067 --> 00:17:21,761
- I bet your wondering
457
00:17:21,761 --> 00:17:25,641
what's made this complete
change in my attitude?
458
00:17:25,641 --> 00:17:28,186
- Oh well, we were
discussing it then and yes...
459
00:17:28,186 --> 00:17:30,651
- Were you very moved Mr. Grainger?
460
00:17:30,651 --> 00:17:34,277
Did you have a deep religious experience?
461
00:17:34,277 --> 00:17:35,571
- No.
462
00:17:35,571 --> 00:17:37,112
I'm repulsed.
463
00:17:37,112 --> 00:17:39,901
(audience laughing)
464
00:17:39,901 --> 00:17:43,048
I did a perm on the Tribble Chance
465
00:17:43,048 --> 00:17:44,881
and I got eight draws.
466
00:17:46,055 --> 00:17:47,485
I wasn't going to tell you
467
00:17:47,485 --> 00:17:50,220
but I just couldn't keep
it from you any longer.
468
00:17:50,220 --> 00:17:51,099
Look.
469
00:17:51,099 --> 00:17:53,181
- How much have you won?
470
00:17:53,181 --> 00:17:54,572
- Well, there's only ten
other coupons this week.
471
00:17:54,572 --> 00:17:55,976
It could be worth a fortune.
472
00:17:55,976 --> 00:18:00,143
(grunting) Hey get a fork or something.
473
00:18:01,241 --> 00:18:02,918
Here we are.
474
00:18:02,918 --> 00:18:05,462
23 points and over claimed
by a phono telegrapher.
475
00:18:05,462 --> 00:18:06,640
Have ya claimed?
476
00:18:06,640 --> 00:18:08,070
(stuttering)
477
00:18:08,070 --> 00:18:09,606
- He hasn't, get on to 'em.
478
00:18:09,606 --> 00:18:11,375
(audience laughing)
479
00:18:11,375 --> 00:18:14,362
- I won the first dividend
once before you know?
480
00:18:14,362 --> 00:18:15,779
That was in 1936.
481
00:18:16,982 --> 00:18:20,315
Yes, I got 22 pounds, 15 and 6 spinster.
482
00:18:21,366 --> 00:18:24,448
I think it might be as
much as 50 pounds now.
483
00:18:24,448 --> 00:18:26,686
- Yeah at the time then, Mr. Grainger.
484
00:18:26,686 --> 00:18:28,473
Last week, there were only nine draws
485
00:18:28,473 --> 00:18:31,078
and somebody won half a million.
486
00:18:31,078 --> 00:18:33,246
- Half a million?
487
00:18:33,246 --> 00:18:36,079
- Glass of water for Mr. Grainger.
488
00:18:39,372 --> 00:18:41,602
- How much you suppose Mr. Grainger's won?
489
00:18:41,602 --> 00:18:43,430
- Well, there's every
chance that dear ole Ernest
490
00:18:43,430 --> 00:18:46,670
has won something in the
region of half a million.
491
00:18:46,670 --> 00:18:48,762
- Oh, what a stroke of luck.
492
00:18:48,762 --> 00:18:50,844
And just when he lost his job.
493
00:18:50,844 --> 00:18:52,324
- Well that's the point sir.
494
00:18:52,324 --> 00:18:54,578
He omitted to put an x in the little box
495
00:18:54,578 --> 00:18:56,414
that says no publicity.
496
00:18:56,414 --> 00:18:57,768
- Good Lord.
497
00:18:57,768 --> 00:18:59,965
- We shall be besieged by the press.
498
00:18:59,965 --> 00:19:00,990
There'll be pictures of him
499
00:19:00,990 --> 00:19:03,448
shaking hands with Bruce Forsyth.
500
00:19:03,448 --> 00:19:05,637
(audience laughing)
501
00:19:05,637 --> 00:19:08,377
- Aw well, he'll probably enjoy it.
502
00:19:08,377 --> 00:19:09,307
- Will you enjoy it
503
00:19:09,307 --> 00:19:11,261
when the fact comes to
light that you hounded
504
00:19:11,261 --> 00:19:14,053
an elderly man into
handing in his resignation?
505
00:19:14,053 --> 00:19:14,931
- I didn't do it.
506
00:19:14,931 --> 00:19:17,058
- You placed the facts before me.
507
00:19:17,058 --> 00:19:18,729
- You said he had to go.
508
00:19:18,729 --> 00:19:21,131
- Oh, nobody knows that.
509
00:19:21,131 --> 00:19:22,164
- I do.
510
00:19:22,164 --> 00:19:25,288
(audience laughing)
511
00:19:25,288 --> 00:19:28,538
- We'd better get that
letter of resignation back.
512
00:19:28,538 --> 00:19:30,622
- I thought you might
come to that conclusion.
513
00:19:30,622 --> 00:19:31,635
- Hm, oh well.
514
00:19:31,635 --> 00:19:33,300
Give it to me Peacock.
515
00:19:33,300 --> 00:19:35,050
- I was going to sir.
516
00:19:36,481 --> 00:19:37,314
- And don't worry if the hat
517
00:19:37,314 --> 00:19:38,220
keeps falling over your eyes sir,
518
00:19:38,220 --> 00:19:39,340
it'll ride up with wear.
519
00:19:39,340 --> 00:19:43,135
(audience laughing)
520
00:19:43,135 --> 00:19:44,607
- How long does it take
them to phone back?
521
00:19:44,607 --> 00:19:45,440
- Well the fella from the pool said
522
00:19:45,440 --> 00:19:47,276
any time between now and 5 o'clock.
523
00:19:47,276 --> 00:19:48,418
- Uh, my nerves are in shreds.
524
00:19:48,418 --> 00:19:49,251
- I know.
525
00:19:49,251 --> 00:19:50,279
- Look at my hands.
526
00:19:50,279 --> 00:19:51,491
(audience laughing)
527
00:19:51,491 --> 00:19:53,159
- That one's shaking more than that one.
528
00:19:53,159 --> 00:19:54,339
- I'm right handed aren't I?
529
00:19:54,339 --> 00:19:56,418
(audience laughing)
530
00:19:56,418 --> 00:19:59,750
(phone ringing)
531
00:19:59,750 --> 00:20:01,174
(audience laughing)
532
00:20:01,174 --> 00:20:03,386
Don't show yourself, this is a crisis.
533
00:20:03,386 --> 00:20:04,303
Men's Wear.
534
00:20:06,907 --> 00:20:08,240
Oh it's for him.
535
00:20:09,232 --> 00:20:12,247
I'm afraid Mr. Grainger's
off the floor at the moment.
536
00:20:12,247 --> 00:20:13,140
Go ahead.
537
00:20:13,140 --> 00:20:14,973
Just tell us how much?
538
00:20:16,569 --> 00:20:17,402
I see.
539
00:20:18,813 --> 00:20:19,646
Thank you.
540
00:20:21,406 --> 00:20:22,286
- Well?
541
00:20:22,286 --> 00:20:24,234
- Well, he did an up and down.
542
00:20:24,234 --> 00:20:27,309
8 by 12, 84 from nine, double V plan.
543
00:20:27,309 --> 00:20:29,014
- But did he get eight draws?
544
00:20:29,014 --> 00:20:31,005
- Well not all in one column.
545
00:20:31,005 --> 00:20:33,813
It's a pity really because
the first prize is sweet.
546
00:20:33,813 --> 00:20:35,480
It's 400,000 pounds.
547
00:20:36,916 --> 00:20:39,245
- Well did he get the second?
548
00:20:39,245 --> 00:20:40,683
A third?
549
00:20:40,683 --> 00:20:41,516
A fourth?
550
00:20:42,479 --> 00:20:44,814
- Is there a fifth?
551
00:20:44,814 --> 00:20:45,981
Did he get it?
552
00:20:48,224 --> 00:20:50,224
- Didn't he get nothing?
553
00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:53,761
It'll be the finish of him.
554
00:20:53,761 --> 00:20:57,351
- Oh when he thought he
won, he went all lovely.
555
00:20:57,351 --> 00:20:59,143
- Who's going to tell him?
556
00:20:59,143 --> 00:21:00,023
- Hm, bags not me.
557
00:21:00,023 --> 00:21:00,856
- Bags don't count.
558
00:21:00,856 --> 00:21:02,245
I've got my fingers crossed.
559
00:21:02,245 --> 00:21:03,620
(audience laughing)
560
00:21:03,620 --> 00:21:04,544
- Well we'd better be careful.
561
00:21:04,544 --> 00:21:06,934
If he'll blurt, he'll
tattletale, kill over.
562
00:21:06,934 --> 00:21:08,556
- I think you ought to
tell him Mr. Humphries.
563
00:21:08,556 --> 00:21:10,356
You've got more delicate touch.
564
00:21:10,356 --> 00:21:11,895
- Not in a case like this.
565
00:21:11,895 --> 00:21:15,191
- I move that Mr. Humphries tells him.
566
00:21:15,191 --> 00:21:16,605
Carried unanimous.
567
00:21:16,605 --> 00:21:17,608
- Oh thank you very much
568
00:21:17,608 --> 00:21:20,141
for your democratic vote of confidence.
569
00:21:20,141 --> 00:21:21,242
- Oh, you should worry.
570
00:21:21,242 --> 00:21:22,696
Look at old Grainger.
571
00:21:22,696 --> 00:21:24,575
He's lost his job and 400,00,
572
00:21:24,575 --> 00:21:25,723
quit all in one week.
573
00:21:25,723 --> 00:21:27,695
- Yeah, poor ole devil.
574
00:21:27,695 --> 00:21:30,088
- All he wanted was 50 quid
and he didn't even win that.
575
00:21:30,088 --> 00:21:32,592
- And thank goodness, he
hasn't had time to spend it.
576
00:21:32,592 --> 00:21:36,173
- I'm sorry I've been such
a long time off the floor.
577
00:21:36,173 --> 00:21:39,143
I brought you all a little present.
578
00:21:39,143 --> 00:21:41,119
- Oh you shouldn't.
579
00:21:41,119 --> 00:21:42,938
- Oh, you certainly shouldn't.
580
00:21:42,938 --> 00:21:44,712
- They're only little things.
581
00:21:44,712 --> 00:21:47,796
They're to make up for all my beastliness.
582
00:21:47,796 --> 00:21:50,674
Meh, I think my heart is going.
583
00:21:50,674 --> 00:21:53,542
It is very exciting isn't it?
584
00:21:53,542 --> 00:21:55,451
Eh, have they found out yet?
585
00:21:55,451 --> 00:21:58,072
- Yeah, no, uh, I, I
haven't answered the phone.
586
00:21:58,072 --> 00:21:59,909
Have you answered the phone Mr. Humphries?
587
00:21:59,909 --> 00:22:01,375
- I have nothing to pass on.
588
00:22:01,375 --> 00:22:02,846
(audience laughing)
589
00:22:02,846 --> 00:22:06,681
- Now Mrs. Slocombe, that is for you.
590
00:22:06,681 --> 00:22:10,723
Mrs. Brahms, you grow prettier every day.
591
00:22:10,723 --> 00:22:12,685
(audience laughing)
592
00:22:12,685 --> 00:22:13,852
And Mr. Lucus,
593
00:22:15,309 --> 00:22:17,466
you young rascal, that's for you.
594
00:22:17,466 --> 00:22:18,299
(laughing)
(audience laughing)
595
00:22:18,299 --> 00:22:19,799
And Mr. Humphries,
596
00:22:20,849 --> 00:22:23,798
this is for you, for
all the great kindness
597
00:22:23,798 --> 00:22:26,374
that you've always shown to me.
598
00:22:26,374 --> 00:22:28,103
And this is for Captain Peacock.
599
00:22:28,103 --> 00:22:32,020
I bought him a silver
holder for his carnation.
600
00:22:33,090 --> 00:22:34,767
Where is he?
601
00:22:34,767 --> 00:22:36,313
- He's in Mr. Rumbold's office.
602
00:22:36,313 --> 00:22:38,480
- Oh, I'll give it to him.
603
00:22:41,237 --> 00:22:42,403
- You let him get away.
604
00:22:42,403 --> 00:22:43,945
- I was going to tell him as sure
605
00:22:43,945 --> 00:22:45,797
as I'm standing here, I
was going to tell him.
606
00:22:45,797 --> 00:22:46,630
- Oh look.
607
00:22:47,579 --> 00:22:49,996
It's a Diamante collar from Mariposa.
608
00:22:49,996 --> 00:22:52,996
(audience laughing)
609
00:22:56,569 --> 00:22:58,594
- It must have cost at least eight quid.
610
00:22:58,594 --> 00:23:00,634
- This is a battery shaver.
611
00:23:00,634 --> 00:23:02,720
- And a blow-dryer with three speeds.
612
00:23:02,720 --> 00:23:05,104
(audience laughing)
613
00:23:05,104 --> 00:23:08,450
- Don't use the fast
one, you'll blow it away.
614
00:23:08,450 --> 00:23:11,950
- Do you realize he's spent about 50 quid.
615
00:23:12,850 --> 00:23:14,490
- We'll have to give them back.
616
00:23:14,490 --> 00:23:15,494
- Well we can't do that, can we.
617
00:23:15,494 --> 00:23:16,327
That's no good.
618
00:23:16,327 --> 00:23:17,416
Only they don't give ya money back here,
619
00:23:17,416 --> 00:23:18,964
they just give you a credit note.
620
00:23:18,964 --> 00:23:20,541
- Well look we've all got
something that we want.
621
00:23:20,541 --> 00:23:22,297
Let's him just give him the money for it.
622
00:23:22,297 --> 00:23:23,380
- Oh he wouldn't take it.
623
00:23:23,380 --> 00:23:25,295
He's got so much pride.
624
00:23:25,295 --> 00:23:27,252
He's such a fine man.
625
00:23:27,252 --> 00:23:30,813
(audience sighing and laughing)
626
00:23:30,813 --> 00:23:32,359
- I'll tell you what.
627
00:23:32,359 --> 00:23:34,418
We'll tell him that the
pool's firm rang up,
628
00:23:34,418 --> 00:23:36,812
but his draws were in the wrong place.
629
00:23:36,812 --> 00:23:38,695
And he's won 50 quid.
630
00:23:38,695 --> 00:23:40,608
- Where are we gonna get 50 quid from?
631
00:23:40,608 --> 00:23:42,022
- Well, we'll have to have a whit round.
632
00:23:42,022 --> 00:23:44,539
- Yeah, but the money's got
to come through Liverpool.
633
00:23:44,539 --> 00:23:46,945
- Eh, we'll get our Liverpool
branch to send him a postlog.
634
00:23:46,945 --> 00:23:48,282
He won't know the different.
635
00:23:48,282 --> 00:23:49,620
- Well for heavens sake, go and tell him.
636
00:23:49,620 --> 00:23:51,222
Quick before he buys a yacht.
637
00:23:51,222 --> 00:23:53,640
- Hey listen, tell 'em as he
comes, tell 'em as he comes out
638
00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:55,284
of Rumbold's office,
there's a sofa outside,
639
00:23:55,284 --> 00:23:57,411
he can collapse into that.
640
00:23:57,411 --> 00:23:58,703
- With the first aid man standing by,
641
00:23:58,703 --> 00:24:01,702
at his age anything can happen.
642
00:24:01,702 --> 00:24:04,659
- Thank you once again for the
silver spoon, Mr. Grainger.
643
00:24:04,659 --> 00:24:07,649
I shall look forward to stirring
my morning coffee with it.
644
00:24:07,649 --> 00:24:11,481
- Oh well they were just
little things to remember me by
645
00:24:11,481 --> 00:24:13,713
when I'm no longer working.
646
00:24:13,713 --> 00:24:16,124
- We were rather hoping to
dissuade you to stay on.
647
00:24:16,124 --> 00:24:20,289
- Eh, well now I've sent my
letter to young Mr. Grace,
648
00:24:20,289 --> 00:24:22,122
I think I'd better go.
649
00:24:23,896 --> 00:24:27,313
And Mrs. Grainger fancies a world cruise.
650
00:24:31,089 --> 00:24:32,839
- An irreplaceable colleague.
651
00:24:32,839 --> 00:24:34,340
- Yes indeed.
652
00:24:34,340 --> 00:24:36,507
One of nature's gentleman.
653
00:24:40,089 --> 00:24:42,210
- I nicked ole Grainger's
letter off of Grace's desk
654
00:24:42,210 --> 00:24:45,044
just as his bony hand was
reaching for the paper knife.
655
00:24:45,044 --> 00:24:46,591
(audience laughing)
656
00:24:46,591 --> 00:24:48,502
- Well done, well done.
657
00:24:48,502 --> 00:24:50,138
Now, you tell Mr. Grainger
658
00:24:50,138 --> 00:24:53,308
that Mr. Grace refuses
to accept his resignation
659
00:24:53,308 --> 00:24:55,846
and hopes that he'll stay with
us for many years to come.
660
00:24:55,846 --> 00:24:58,721
And then when he wants to
leave, within a few weeks time,
661
00:24:58,721 --> 00:25:00,462
we'll give him a big send off
662
00:25:00,462 --> 00:25:02,852
and get the rights off of publicity.
663
00:25:02,852 --> 00:25:04,643
- How do you know that
he will want to leave?
664
00:25:04,643 --> 00:25:06,183
- Well he stands to reason, don't he.
665
00:25:06,183 --> 00:25:08,224
No one wants just half a million knicker,
666
00:25:08,224 --> 00:25:10,185
would want to stay around in this dump.
667
00:25:10,185 --> 00:25:12,257
(audience laughing)
668
00:25:12,257 --> 00:25:14,362
- I wonder if Mr. Humphries told him yet.
669
00:25:14,362 --> 00:25:16,405
- Oh sooner in than me.
670
00:25:16,405 --> 00:25:17,238
Ew, look.
671
00:25:18,471 --> 00:25:19,304
- I knew it.
672
00:25:19,304 --> 00:25:20,577
I knew it would be too much for him.
673
00:25:20,577 --> 00:25:22,905
(audience laughing)
674
00:25:22,905 --> 00:25:24,247
- As soon as I got the words out,
675
00:25:24,247 --> 00:25:25,625
the blood drained away from me.
676
00:25:25,625 --> 00:25:28,625
(audience laughing)
677
00:25:32,844 --> 00:25:34,043
- Is he alright?
678
00:25:34,043 --> 00:25:35,754
Oh there you are.
679
00:25:35,754 --> 00:25:38,278
He's had a terrible shock, you know?
680
00:25:38,278 --> 00:25:41,056
I only won 50 pounds, did you know?
681
00:25:41,056 --> 00:25:43,140
- Oh what a disappointment.
682
00:25:43,140 --> 00:25:44,486
- Well I must say,
683
00:25:44,486 --> 00:25:47,869
I would have liked to have
had a few thousand pounds
684
00:25:47,869 --> 00:25:51,560
especially as I'm not going
to be working anymore.
685
00:25:51,560 --> 00:25:53,806
- I've got good news for you Ernest.
686
00:25:53,806 --> 00:25:55,890
Mr. Grace wouldn't hear of your resigning.
687
00:25:55,890 --> 00:25:57,761
He even refused to open your letter.
688
00:25:57,761 --> 00:25:58,685
What's more.
689
00:25:58,685 --> 00:26:00,512
He hopes you'll stay
on as long as you like.
690
00:26:00,512 --> 00:26:02,344
(group cheers)
691
00:26:02,344 --> 00:26:05,185
- You really are all being very very kind.
692
00:26:05,185 --> 00:26:07,771
I was very naughty, you know..
693
00:26:07,771 --> 00:26:10,805
But I got into this terrible mood
694
00:26:10,805 --> 00:26:12,885
and I just couldn't get out of it.
695
00:26:12,885 --> 00:26:14,957
- Oh well, you're better now.
696
00:26:14,957 --> 00:26:16,221
- Yes, oh yes.
697
00:26:16,221 --> 00:26:17,605
I feel that I've,
698
00:26:17,605 --> 00:26:20,729
as though I've been
reborn, you know, okay?
699
00:26:20,729 --> 00:26:24,896
You wait, you hear my letter (laughing).
700
00:26:27,089 --> 00:26:29,054
Dear Mr. Grace,
701
00:26:29,054 --> 00:26:30,806
I Earnest Grainger,
702
00:26:30,806 --> 00:26:33,766
being of sound mind (scoffs).
703
00:26:33,766 --> 00:26:35,188
That wasn't true for a start.
704
00:26:35,188 --> 00:26:37,519
(audience laughing)
705
00:26:37,519 --> 00:26:41,496
Having given the best years
of my life to your store,
706
00:26:41,496 --> 00:26:43,989
regretfully have to tell you
707
00:26:43,989 --> 00:26:46,644
that you're a miserable old boot.
708
00:26:46,644 --> 00:26:48,848
(audience laughing)
709
00:26:48,848 --> 00:26:51,348
- Wait, wait, it gets funnier.
710
00:26:52,889 --> 00:26:57,219
Captain Peacock's nothing but
a knit-picky old busy body.
711
00:26:57,219 --> 00:27:00,219
(audience laughing)
712
00:27:02,621 --> 00:27:06,407
And Mrs. Slocombe is a frustrated old cow.
713
00:27:06,407 --> 00:27:09,407
(audience laughing)
714
00:27:13,391 --> 00:27:15,474
And as for Mr. Humphries,
715
00:27:16,638 --> 00:27:18,721
oh dear I did go too far.
716
00:27:22,802 --> 00:27:24,309
- Oh oh oh.
717
00:27:24,309 --> 00:27:27,309
(audience laughing)
718
00:27:32,757 --> 00:27:35,424
(uptempo music)
51307
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.