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1
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(cash register clicking)
2
00:00:03,927 --> 00:00:06,382
(upbeat music)
3
00:00:06,382 --> 00:00:07,590
♫ Ground floor perfumery
4
00:00:07,590 --> 00:00:08,980
♫ Stationery and leather goods
5
00:00:08,980 --> 00:00:10,500
♫ Wigs and haberdashery
6
00:00:10,500 --> 00:00:14,583
♫ Kitchenware and food, going up
7
00:00:17,723 --> 00:00:19,278
♫ First floor telephones
8
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♫ Gents ready-made suits
9
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- So, I went to see this
new doctor, you see,
10
00:00:21,908 --> 00:00:25,009
and he said, "Do you know
that two out of 10 people
11
00:00:25,009 --> 00:00:26,396
"are just like you?"
12
00:00:26,396 --> 00:00:27,229
I said, "Oh!"
13
00:00:27,229 --> 00:00:29,209
He said, "Oh yes, there's
a lot of it about."
14
00:00:29,209 --> 00:00:30,497
(laughter)
15
00:00:30,497 --> 00:00:32,028
I said, "Well, what are you going to do?"
16
00:00:32,028 --> 00:00:33,967
He said, "Well, what
the trouble is, you see,
17
00:00:33,967 --> 00:00:36,329
"that you are under
great strain due to your
18
00:00:36,329 --> 00:00:38,358
"superior intelligence."
19
00:00:38,358 --> 00:00:39,809
I said, "Well, what do you do about it?"
20
00:00:39,809 --> 00:00:43,038
He says, "Well you see, we
sort of clear your brain."
21
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I said, "Oh really?
22
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"I'm all ears, tell me more."
23
00:00:45,089 --> 00:00:48,307
He said, "Well, we put you
to sleep for a whole week."
24
00:00:48,307 --> 00:00:49,857
I said, "Well, with dreams like I have,
25
00:00:49,857 --> 00:00:51,129
"I'll be worn out."
26
00:00:51,129 --> 00:00:53,236
(audience laughter)
27
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- Apart from which, you
can't afford to take
28
00:00:54,420 --> 00:00:56,258
the time off, can you?
29
00:00:56,258 --> 00:00:57,358
- Well that's what I told him.
30
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He says, "What you'll have
to do is have a cold shower
31
00:00:59,148 --> 00:01:02,026
"every morning, you see, and
then a run around the park."
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Well, I had me first run this morning.
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00:01:04,038 --> 00:01:06,660
I put me little shorts
on, I just got as far
34
00:01:06,660 --> 00:01:10,798
as the road mending gang when
I was under strain again.
35
00:01:10,798 --> 00:01:13,548
Put out your faggy, it's Peacock.
36
00:01:16,569 --> 00:01:18,489
- I catch anybody on this counter smoking
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after the bill is gone, I shall
take very severe measures.
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(audience laughter)
39
00:01:27,678 --> 00:01:29,011
- You're for it.
40
00:01:30,860 --> 00:01:31,838
- I thought so.
41
00:01:31,838 --> 00:01:33,609
See me later, Mr. Lucas.
42
00:01:33,609 --> 00:01:35,428
- He's in a foul mood, isn't he?
43
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- His whole world has
fallen apart, you know?
44
00:01:37,500 --> 00:01:38,809
- Don't tell me, they've dropped him
45
00:01:38,809 --> 00:01:41,796
from the Grace Brothers table tennis team.
46
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He's been working on his chop all week.
47
00:01:44,708 --> 00:01:46,148
- No, it's worse than that.
48
00:01:46,148 --> 00:01:47,478
When he went to the
flower store this morning,
49
00:01:47,478 --> 00:01:49,649
they'd run out of carnations
for his buttonhole.
50
00:01:49,649 --> 00:01:50,758
I saw the whole thing.
51
00:01:50,758 --> 00:01:51,809
- Oh, do tell.
52
00:01:51,809 --> 00:01:53,388
- They offered him a dahlia instead.
53
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He hit the roof.
54
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"What sort of fool do you think I'd look
55
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"walking around with a dahlia
in me buttonhole," he said.
56
00:01:58,238 --> 00:01:59,518
And the bird behind the counter said,
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00:01:59,518 --> 00:02:00,809
"The same sort of fool
you look walking around
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00:02:00,809 --> 00:02:03,558
"with a carnation in your buttonhole."
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00:02:03,558 --> 00:02:05,100
So, he canceled his standing order
60
00:02:05,100 --> 00:02:06,855
and he sent Arbon round the corner to the
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Cozy Posy shop for one.
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00:02:11,066 --> 00:02:12,233
- Miss Brahms.
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I thought so.
64
00:02:16,825 --> 00:02:17,658
You're late.
65
00:02:17,658 --> 00:02:18,866
- Yeah well, I'm sorry, but you see--
66
00:02:18,866 --> 00:02:20,810
- Don't make your excuses to me.
67
00:02:20,810 --> 00:02:22,764
Explain yourself to Mrs. Slocombe.
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00:02:22,764 --> 00:02:25,764
If she's not satisfied, she
will take the matter up with me.
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00:02:25,764 --> 00:02:26,933
Mrs. Slocombe.
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00:02:26,933 --> 00:02:28,124
- [Mrs. Slocombe] Yes, Captain Peacock?
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00:02:28,124 --> 00:02:30,604
- Miss Brahms, as you can see, is late.
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I leave it to you to reprimand her.
73
00:02:32,826 --> 00:02:34,306
- Very well, Captain Peacock.
74
00:02:34,306 --> 00:02:35,895
- I, for my part, am reprimanding you
75
00:02:35,895 --> 00:02:37,794
for not telling me that she was late.
76
00:02:37,794 --> 00:02:39,643
- But you knew she was late.
77
00:02:39,643 --> 00:02:41,204
- That is not relevant.
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00:02:41,204 --> 00:02:43,254
There is correct procedure
in store management
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that must be followed at all times.
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- Pompous twit.
81
00:02:47,673 --> 00:02:49,394
(audience laughter)
82
00:02:49,394 --> 00:02:51,946
- Miss Brahms, you are not
to speak of your superiors
83
00:02:51,946 --> 00:02:53,196
in that manner.
84
00:02:54,893 --> 00:02:58,471
You've got that padded
bra on again, haven't you?
85
00:02:58,471 --> 00:03:00,794
I've told you about that before.
86
00:03:00,794 --> 00:03:01,946
- So what?
87
00:03:01,946 --> 00:03:05,029
- It's very inflammatory for the men.
88
00:03:05,933 --> 00:03:09,794
And, well it's out of
proportion with the rest of ya.
89
00:03:09,794 --> 00:03:12,993
You look like the
hunchfront of Notre Dame.
90
00:03:12,993 --> 00:03:14,394
(audience laughter)
91
00:03:14,394 --> 00:03:15,477
- Satisified?
92
00:03:16,922 --> 00:03:20,744
- I'm confiscating this
until closing time.
93
00:03:20,744 --> 00:03:22,032
Where have you been?
94
00:03:22,032 --> 00:03:24,386
- Well, I had to iron me
nylon blouse this morning,
95
00:03:24,386 --> 00:03:26,826
you see, and I set the iron
at number 10 and it went
96
00:03:26,826 --> 00:03:28,244
straight through.
97
00:03:28,244 --> 00:03:30,825
I had to stop off on the
way to buy another one.
98
00:03:30,825 --> 00:03:32,693
- Well why couldn't you
come here and get one?
99
00:03:32,693 --> 00:03:34,394
- I'm not buying this rubbish.
100
00:03:34,394 --> 00:03:36,254
(laughter)
101
00:03:36,254 --> 00:03:39,026
- Miss Brahms, I am
responsible for the choice of
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00:03:39,026 --> 00:03:40,695
merchandise in the store.
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00:03:40,695 --> 00:03:43,493
It is top quality and I
won't have it criticized
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00:03:43,493 --> 00:03:44,666
by juniors.
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00:03:44,666 --> 00:03:46,434
It comes from Hong Kong
and you sew your own
106
00:03:46,434 --> 00:03:47,314
labels in.
107
00:03:47,314 --> 00:03:48,147
Look at that.
108
00:03:48,147 --> 00:03:49,762
One pound, 25.
109
00:03:49,762 --> 00:03:51,242
- They're very hard wearing.
110
00:03:51,242 --> 00:03:53,124
- Hard wearing, you'll be
lucky if the elastic lasts
111
00:03:53,124 --> 00:03:55,674
til you get on the bus.
112
00:03:55,674 --> 00:03:58,894
- Miss Brahms, I will not
have you knocking my knickers.
113
00:03:58,894 --> 00:04:01,204
- And I'm not,
(audience laughter)
114
00:04:01,204 --> 00:04:04,829
I'm not too keen on you
knicking my knockers.
115
00:04:04,829 --> 00:04:05,870
- Is that the blouse?
116
00:04:05,870 --> 00:04:07,089
- Yes.
117
00:04:07,089 --> 00:04:08,660
- How many frills has it got?
118
00:04:08,660 --> 00:04:10,990
- I don't know, I haven't counted.
119
00:04:10,990 --> 00:04:12,407
- Count them now.
120
00:04:13,508 --> 00:04:16,357
- One, two, three, four, five, six.
121
00:04:16,357 --> 00:04:18,660
- Miss Brahms, how long have you worked at
122
00:04:18,660 --> 00:04:19,820
Grace Brothers?
123
00:04:19,820 --> 00:04:20,729
- Four years.
124
00:04:20,729 --> 00:04:22,550
- Well, that's quite long
enough to have learned
125
00:04:22,550 --> 00:04:24,260
that juniors are not permitted more frills
126
00:04:24,260 --> 00:04:26,760
on their blouses than seniors.
127
00:04:28,118 --> 00:04:30,460
If six frills is enough
for me, then two is
128
00:04:30,460 --> 00:04:32,968
more than enough for you.
129
00:04:32,968 --> 00:04:34,710
- Yes, Mrs. Slocombe.
130
00:04:34,710 --> 00:04:38,877
- Until I was 30, I wasn't
allowed any frills at all.
131
00:04:39,756 --> 00:04:42,437
- Suppose after 30, it was too late.
132
00:04:42,437 --> 00:04:45,437
(audience laughter)
133
00:04:47,230 --> 00:04:49,318
- There's the scissors, cut four off.
134
00:04:49,318 --> 00:04:50,151
- No.
135
00:04:51,820 --> 00:04:54,830
- Right, I've had all the lip I'm taking.
136
00:04:54,830 --> 00:04:58,121
Captain Peacock will
make you cut them off.
137
00:04:58,121 --> 00:04:58,954
Captain Peacock.
138
00:04:58,954 --> 00:05:00,190
- Mrs. Slocombe,
139
00:05:00,190 --> 00:05:01,993
go back to your counter
140
00:05:01,993 --> 00:05:03,851
and stand behind it.
141
00:05:03,851 --> 00:05:05,782
When I happen to look in your direction,
142
00:05:05,782 --> 00:05:07,571
raise your hand a little.
143
00:05:07,571 --> 00:05:11,702
If I nod, say, "Captain
Peacock, are you free?"
144
00:05:11,702 --> 00:05:15,963
If I am, I will beckon and
you may then approach me.
145
00:05:15,963 --> 00:05:18,953
That is the correct procedure,
do I make myself clear?
146
00:05:18,953 --> 00:05:20,870
- Yes, Captain Peacock.
147
00:05:23,462 --> 00:05:25,443
- That was quick.
148
00:05:25,443 --> 00:05:26,276
- Shut up.
149
00:05:45,868 --> 00:05:48,368
Are you free, Captain Peacock?
150
00:05:53,851 --> 00:05:55,982
- You wish to say something
to me, Mrs. Slocombe?
151
00:05:55,982 --> 00:05:57,662
- Yes, Captain Peacock.
152
00:05:57,662 --> 00:06:00,912
I'm going to see Mr.
Rumbold, so get stuffed.
153
00:06:00,912 --> 00:06:03,912
(audience laughter)
154
00:06:06,711 --> 00:06:08,963
- Good morning, Mrs. Slocombe.
155
00:06:08,963 --> 00:06:09,963
- Drop dead!
156
00:06:11,193 --> 00:06:14,610
(cash register clicking)
157
00:06:15,821 --> 00:06:17,273
- Now, let's see if I've got this right.
158
00:06:17,273 --> 00:06:19,803
Miss Brahms made some disparaging remarks
159
00:06:19,803 --> 00:06:22,283
about Mrs. Slocombe's underwear,
160
00:06:22,283 --> 00:06:24,262
complaining it was not hard wearing,
161
00:06:24,262 --> 00:06:27,491
whereupon Mrs. Slocombe
confiscated her knickers.
162
00:06:27,491 --> 00:06:28,324
- No.
163
00:06:29,221 --> 00:06:31,393
She confiscated my knockers.
164
00:06:31,393 --> 00:06:33,473
(audience laughter)
165
00:06:33,473 --> 00:06:35,553
- Knockers, ah, I see yes.
166
00:06:35,553 --> 00:06:37,723
The knickers were not hard wearing.
167
00:06:37,723 --> 00:06:41,201
The door knockers were from hardware.
168
00:06:41,201 --> 00:06:43,868
- No, they were under my blouse.
169
00:06:44,792 --> 00:06:47,313
- You were wearing door
knockers from hardware
170
00:06:47,313 --> 00:06:48,813
under your blouse.
171
00:06:50,163 --> 00:06:52,702
You considered this to be
inflammatory, Mrs. Slocombe?
172
00:06:52,702 --> 00:06:55,603
Well, I consider that you were pertinent.
173
00:06:55,603 --> 00:06:57,950
Don't wear door knockers
under your blouse anymore,
174
00:06:57,950 --> 00:06:59,391
Miss Brahm.
175
00:06:59,391 --> 00:07:02,283
Mrs. Slocombe then became
agitated because after the age of
176
00:07:02,283 --> 00:07:06,171
30, she hadn't had as many
thrills as Miss Brahm.
177
00:07:06,171 --> 00:07:08,643
(audience laughter)
178
00:07:08,643 --> 00:07:12,231
- No sir, no sir, frills on her blouse.
179
00:07:12,231 --> 00:07:15,910
- Ah yes, frills on blouse,
which was being worn
180
00:07:15,910 --> 00:07:16,942
over the door knockers.
181
00:07:16,942 --> 00:07:18,971
Now it's all coming together,
182
00:07:18,971 --> 00:07:21,171
all coming clear to me, yes.
183
00:07:21,171 --> 00:07:23,222
She then approached you, Captain Peacock,
184
00:07:23,222 --> 00:07:27,139
intending to suggest that
you had them cut off.
185
00:07:29,451 --> 00:07:32,193
I also have get stuffed written down here.
186
00:07:32,193 --> 00:07:34,311
Does that come in anywhere?
187
00:07:34,311 --> 00:07:37,394
- I have a feeling it will very soon.
188
00:07:38,531 --> 00:07:39,910
- What is this?
189
00:07:39,910 --> 00:07:42,077
- It's a jumbo juno range.
190
00:07:44,891 --> 00:07:48,022
- Miss Brahms, I suggest you wear this
191
00:07:48,022 --> 00:07:50,782
instead of door knockers.
192
00:07:50,782 --> 00:07:51,721
- I wonder what's going on.
193
00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:53,795
They've been arguing in
there for 10 minutes.
194
00:07:53,795 --> 00:07:56,795
- Yeah well, perhaps Peacock
will forget about me.
195
00:07:56,795 --> 00:07:57,934
- Lucas.
196
00:07:57,934 --> 00:08:00,595
- He hasn't forgotten about me.
197
00:08:00,595 --> 00:08:03,003
- Over here, Mr. Lucas.
198
00:08:03,003 --> 00:08:04,412
- You wish to see me
about something or other,
199
00:08:04,412 --> 00:08:05,245
Captain Peacock?
200
00:08:05,245 --> 00:08:06,145
- Yes I do.
201
00:08:06,145 --> 00:08:09,134
- What, no carnations
this morning, Stephen?
202
00:08:09,134 --> 00:08:09,967
- Go away.
203
00:08:11,703 --> 00:08:13,265
- Captain Peacock,
204
00:08:13,265 --> 00:08:16,743
if you speak to me like
that in front of juniors,
205
00:08:16,743 --> 00:08:19,410
I shall complain to Mr. Rumbold.
206
00:08:20,283 --> 00:08:23,903
Do your waistcoat up properly
and get back to your counter.
207
00:08:23,903 --> 00:08:25,275
- Oh damn.
208
00:08:25,275 --> 00:08:27,305
(laughter)
209
00:08:27,305 --> 00:08:29,105
- You'll pay for that.
210
00:08:29,105 --> 00:08:31,688
- It's me own, so tough cheese.
211
00:08:35,363 --> 00:08:36,853
- Yes well, if that's all Captain Peacock,
212
00:08:36,853 --> 00:08:37,774
I'll go back to my counter.
213
00:08:37,774 --> 00:08:39,107
- It is not all.
214
00:08:40,785 --> 00:08:44,203
On Wednesday last, I twice reprimanded you
215
00:08:44,203 --> 00:08:47,345
for standing around with
your hands in your pockets.
216
00:08:47,345 --> 00:08:49,755
On Friday, you had no
handkerchief in your top pocket
217
00:08:49,755 --> 00:08:52,014
and your hands in your
trouser pockets again.
218
00:08:52,014 --> 00:08:53,574
- Yes, my hands were in
my trouser pockets then
219
00:08:53,574 --> 00:08:54,834
'cause they were looking
for me handkerchief
220
00:08:54,834 --> 00:08:57,243
for me top pocket, you see?
221
00:08:57,243 --> 00:08:59,195
- On Monday last, I
reprimanded you for having
222
00:08:59,195 --> 00:09:00,905
hairs on your collar.
223
00:09:00,905 --> 00:09:02,944
- Well, it started falling out, you see?
224
00:09:02,944 --> 00:09:04,413
On account of the worry
because of the reprimand
225
00:09:04,413 --> 00:09:07,893
you'd given me on the Wednesday before.
226
00:09:07,893 --> 00:09:10,923
- I do not want to see fallen
hairs on your collar again.
227
00:09:10,923 --> 00:09:11,824
- No sir.
228
00:09:11,824 --> 00:09:13,642
If I feel it falling,
I'll jump out the way.
229
00:09:13,642 --> 00:09:15,985
(audience laughter)
230
00:09:15,985 --> 00:09:18,094
- Unless you measure up to
the standard required at
231
00:09:18,094 --> 00:09:20,025
Grace Brothers, we shall
have to dispense with
232
00:09:20,025 --> 00:09:21,003
your services.
233
00:09:21,003 --> 00:09:22,075
Now get back behind your counter
234
00:09:22,075 --> 00:09:24,425
and send Mr. Humphries over.
235
00:09:24,425 --> 00:09:25,258
- Yes sir.
236
00:09:28,065 --> 00:09:29,584
- Hey, he's had a go at Grainger,
237
00:09:29,584 --> 00:09:31,843
he's practically given me
the sack, now it's your turn.
238
00:09:31,843 --> 00:09:32,722
- He wouldn't dare.
239
00:09:32,722 --> 00:09:33,889
- He wants ya.
240
00:09:37,505 --> 00:09:38,609
- If you've got any
complaints, will you get them
241
00:09:38,609 --> 00:09:39,442
over quickly?
242
00:09:39,442 --> 00:09:42,423
I've been under a lot of strain lately.
243
00:09:42,423 --> 00:09:43,337
- Last Thursday--
244
00:09:43,337 --> 00:09:46,337
- No, don't talk to me about Thursday.
245
00:09:46,337 --> 00:09:48,046
I thought I'd never get through the day.
246
00:09:48,046 --> 00:09:51,315
To start with, I got me high
heels caught in the escalator
247
00:09:51,315 --> 00:09:53,634
and I had six pairs of
wire fronts returned
248
00:09:53,634 --> 00:09:55,801
with substandard openings.
249
00:09:56,747 --> 00:09:58,534
The coalman came round
to me mother and said
250
00:09:58,534 --> 00:10:00,257
that he hadn't had what was due to him.
251
00:10:00,257 --> 00:10:03,446
Do you know by 11:00, my
hand was shaking so much,
252
00:10:03,446 --> 00:10:07,066
it was more than my job was
worth to take an inside leg.
253
00:10:07,066 --> 00:10:09,035
(audience laughter)
254
00:10:09,035 --> 00:10:10,894
- Let's take Friday.
255
00:10:10,894 --> 00:10:13,814
You went off the floor
for 25 minutes in account.
256
00:10:13,814 --> 00:10:15,965
- Oh yes, it's that
ledger clerk in sanctions.
257
00:10:15,965 --> 00:10:19,726
He will insist on
telling me about Ramadan.
258
00:10:19,726 --> 00:10:21,894
- On Saturday, two
customers complained that
259
00:10:21,894 --> 00:10:24,524
they had difficulty
breathing because of your
260
00:10:24,524 --> 00:10:26,736
aftershave lotion.
261
00:10:26,736 --> 00:10:30,737
- It's not aftershave,
it's my new skin tightener.
262
00:10:30,737 --> 00:10:31,665
Works wonders.
263
00:10:31,665 --> 00:10:33,355
You should see the
commercial they do for it.
264
00:10:33,355 --> 00:10:37,272
It shows a prune being
turned back into a plum.
265
00:10:38,115 --> 00:10:39,995
- It is my experience after 30 years
266
00:10:39,995 --> 00:10:42,726
of the distributive trades,
that customers place
267
00:10:42,726 --> 00:10:46,176
more trust in an honest
prune than in someone
268
00:10:46,176 --> 00:10:48,524
desperately trying to
look like Donny Osmond.
269
00:10:48,524 --> 00:10:49,815
Now get back there.
270
00:10:49,815 --> 00:10:52,815
(audience laughter)
271
00:10:54,547 --> 00:10:56,176
- I've never been spoken to like that
272
00:10:56,176 --> 00:10:58,416
in the whole of my life.
273
00:10:58,416 --> 00:10:59,999
I quite enjoyed it.
274
00:11:05,387 --> 00:11:06,554
- Here we are squire.
275
00:11:06,554 --> 00:11:10,376
One carnation for you to
tart yourself up with.
276
00:11:10,376 --> 00:11:12,395
They didn't have executive
red, so I had to settle
277
00:11:12,395 --> 00:11:14,194
for very gated.
278
00:11:14,194 --> 00:11:17,504
- Well, that'll be all Herman.
279
00:11:17,504 --> 00:11:18,355
Leave the floor.
280
00:11:18,355 --> 00:11:19,704
- Yes, your highness.
281
00:11:19,704 --> 00:11:23,336
Shall I grove off or
back away respectfully?
282
00:11:23,336 --> 00:11:24,624
- Just go.
283
00:11:24,624 --> 00:11:26,541
Gather round everybody.
284
00:11:28,136 --> 00:11:28,969
Not you.
285
00:11:28,969 --> 00:11:29,969
- Oh blimey.
286
00:11:30,936 --> 00:11:33,435
- Now listen very carefully
to what I have to say.
287
00:11:33,435 --> 00:11:35,686
- Ah Peacock, I'm glad
you got everyone together.
288
00:11:35,686 --> 00:11:38,224
Now, listen very carefully
to what I have to say.
289
00:11:38,224 --> 00:11:41,475
I have noticed a marked
decline in the appearance
290
00:11:41,475 --> 00:11:43,645
and efficiency of the
members of this department.
291
00:11:43,645 --> 00:11:46,184
- That's just what I
was about to say, sir.
292
00:11:46,184 --> 00:11:48,515
- What on earth is that?
293
00:11:48,515 --> 00:11:50,115
- Are you referring to my carnation?
294
00:11:50,115 --> 00:11:52,304
- Is that what you call it?
295
00:11:52,304 --> 00:11:53,995
How long have you been here Peacock?
296
00:11:53,995 --> 00:11:55,774
- Over 20 years, sir.
297
00:11:55,774 --> 00:11:57,454
- By now, you should know perfectly well
298
00:11:57,454 --> 00:12:00,024
that floor walkers are
permitted to wear only
299
00:12:00,024 --> 00:12:01,774
executive red carnations.
300
00:12:01,774 --> 00:12:05,212
Now, this is a typical example
of the sort of slackness
301
00:12:05,212 --> 00:12:07,174
and houliganism that I'm talking about.
302
00:12:07,174 --> 00:12:09,115
(audience laughter)
303
00:12:09,115 --> 00:12:12,094
We all know how to behave and dress.
304
00:12:12,094 --> 00:12:14,784
For 50 years, young Mr.
Grace has shown us the way.
305
00:12:14,784 --> 00:12:18,453
He's appeared before us
every day polite, smiling,
306
00:12:18,453 --> 00:12:21,184
and elegantly attired as
a gentleman should be.
307
00:12:21,184 --> 00:12:22,515
- Howdy folks.
308
00:12:22,515 --> 00:12:24,765
(laughter)
309
00:12:26,144 --> 00:12:29,053
I've just stopped off from
my trip to the US early.
310
00:12:29,053 --> 00:12:31,389
- We'd never have guessed.
311
00:12:31,389 --> 00:12:33,667
- I brought back some great new ideas
312
00:12:33,667 --> 00:12:36,736
you all's going right into orbit.
313
00:12:36,736 --> 00:12:39,975
I'll spill the load down
to your bosses and no doubt
314
00:12:39,975 --> 00:12:42,976
they'll fill you guys right in.
315
00:12:42,976 --> 00:12:44,135
Well that's it folks.
316
00:12:44,135 --> 00:12:45,707
- [Group] Thank you Mr. Grace.
317
00:12:45,707 --> 00:12:48,747
- You've all done very swell.
318
00:12:48,747 --> 00:12:50,566
Well let's roll.
319
00:12:50,566 --> 00:12:53,983
(cash register clicking)
320
00:12:56,766 --> 00:13:00,046
- I hope this isn't going to
take long Captain Peacock.
321
00:13:00,046 --> 00:13:02,856
The last time I was late,
a fireman had to climb
322
00:13:02,856 --> 00:13:05,875
out of my bedroom window and risk his life
323
00:13:05,875 --> 00:13:09,275
on a narrow ledge trying
to grab hold of my pussy.
324
00:13:09,275 --> 00:13:12,507
(audience laughter)
325
00:13:12,507 --> 00:13:14,840
- Very brave, these firemen.
326
00:13:16,136 --> 00:13:18,974
- Poor animal was clutching the drain pipe
327
00:13:18,974 --> 00:13:23,669
with it's eyes glued on the
bus stop watching for me.
328
00:13:23,669 --> 00:13:26,565
- I want to get home,
that Uri Geller's on.
329
00:13:26,565 --> 00:13:27,966
- Oh, I like him.
330
00:13:27,966 --> 00:13:29,566
I think he's ever so handsome.
331
00:13:29,566 --> 00:13:31,075
- Well, he must have something.
332
00:13:31,075 --> 00:13:32,376
Do you know, the last time that he was on,
333
00:13:32,376 --> 00:13:34,827
I was watching it and I
was really concentrating.
334
00:13:34,827 --> 00:13:35,867
You know how you do?
335
00:13:35,867 --> 00:13:38,286
And I distinctly felt something move.
336
00:13:38,286 --> 00:13:40,715
(audience laughter)
337
00:13:40,715 --> 00:13:41,684
I did!
338
00:13:41,684 --> 00:13:43,176
So I plunged my hand in me trouser pocket
339
00:13:43,176 --> 00:13:44,509
and do you know,
340
00:13:45,711 --> 00:13:48,211
my door keys were bent double?
341
00:13:49,846 --> 00:13:52,856
- Very kind of you all to stay behind.
342
00:13:52,856 --> 00:13:55,313
Now, settle down everyone.
343
00:13:55,313 --> 00:13:57,606
- Well, I hope I shall get home in time
344
00:13:57,606 --> 00:13:59,606
to see the bionic woman.
345
00:14:01,126 --> 00:14:02,325
- I wouldn't have thought
that was your sort of
346
00:14:02,325 --> 00:14:04,147
program, Mr. Grainger.
347
00:14:04,147 --> 00:14:07,395
- Well, I want Mrs. Grainger to see it.
348
00:14:07,395 --> 00:14:11,816
I'm trying to persuade
her to buy a hearing aid.
349
00:14:11,816 --> 00:14:14,386
She's never been quite right
ever since she had that
350
00:14:14,386 --> 00:14:16,636
fall off her bus in Turkey.
351
00:14:17,576 --> 00:14:20,086
- That must be quite a program in itself.
352
00:14:20,086 --> 00:14:21,565
I can see it all.
353
00:14:21,565 --> 00:14:25,056
She fell off a bus, but she can be mended.
354
00:14:25,056 --> 00:14:27,587
We have the means, we have the technology.
355
00:14:27,587 --> 00:14:30,526
She'll be faster, stronger,
better, with new arms,
356
00:14:30,526 --> 00:14:34,434
new legs, new teeth,
and new varicose veins.
357
00:14:34,434 --> 00:14:37,025
- That is very unfeeling.
358
00:14:37,025 --> 00:14:39,045
- Mr. Lucas, I absolutely
forbid you to speak to
359
00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:40,555
your superiors like that.
360
00:14:40,555 --> 00:14:42,147
- I'm sorry Captain Peacock,
I thought once the bell
361
00:14:42,147 --> 00:14:44,947
had gone, we were allowed to
become human beings again.
362
00:14:44,947 --> 00:14:46,925
- This does bring me to the first point.
363
00:14:46,925 --> 00:14:50,675
Nay, to the very nub of our
discussion here tonight.
364
00:14:50,675 --> 00:14:51,975
- My word, we've never got to the nub
365
00:14:51,975 --> 00:14:53,975
as quick as that before.
366
00:14:55,014 --> 00:14:58,115
- Young Mr. Grace has been
studying the sales techniques
367
00:14:58,115 --> 00:15:00,634
of stores such as ours in the U.S.A.
368
00:15:00,634 --> 00:15:02,035
And he feels that we could benefit
369
00:15:02,035 --> 00:15:03,856
from some of their methods.
370
00:15:03,856 --> 00:15:06,686
- Well let me say categorically
that if I'm to be expected
371
00:15:06,686 --> 00:15:10,667
to wear a Stetson hat
and lasso the customers
372
00:15:10,667 --> 00:15:12,606
as they get out of the lift,
373
00:15:12,606 --> 00:15:15,394
I am leaving here and now.
374
00:15:15,394 --> 00:15:17,056
I've heard they have a
very interesting position
375
00:15:17,056 --> 00:15:18,755
at Austin Reed's.
376
00:15:18,755 --> 00:15:22,712
- That rumor's been going
around for some time.
377
00:15:22,712 --> 00:15:25,635
- There's no intention of
us yankee-fying ourselves.
378
00:15:25,635 --> 00:15:28,726
What we're striving for is
the American informality,
379
00:15:28,726 --> 00:15:31,155
their easygoing approach
to customers and indeed
380
00:15:31,155 --> 00:15:31,988
to each other.
381
00:15:31,988 --> 00:15:35,427
For example, all the staff
are on first name terms
382
00:15:35,427 --> 00:15:37,086
with the management.
383
00:15:37,086 --> 00:15:39,216
- Is that effect, Cuthbert?
384
00:15:39,216 --> 00:15:42,216
(audience laughter)
385
00:15:42,216 --> 00:15:44,600
- Normally, I would be annoyed
with you calling me Cuthbert,
386
00:15:44,600 --> 00:15:48,334
Stephen, but of course,
you're quite right to do so.
387
00:15:48,334 --> 00:15:51,625
And Mr. Lucas' battonage with Ernest
388
00:15:51,625 --> 00:15:54,296
sets exactly the right tone of friendly
389
00:15:54,296 --> 00:15:56,006
inter-staff relations, which young
390
00:15:56,006 --> 00:15:58,006
Mr. Grace is trying to achieve.
391
00:15:58,006 --> 00:16:00,595
- What about his first name?
392
00:16:00,595 --> 00:16:04,126
- Yes, Mr. Lucas, what is your first name?
393
00:16:04,126 --> 00:16:06,209
- Just call me Mr. Lucas.
394
00:16:07,315 --> 00:16:09,095
- Oh dear, no no, we can't have that.
395
00:16:09,095 --> 00:16:11,262
Come along, let's have it.
396
00:16:13,395 --> 00:16:14,326
- Dick.
397
00:16:14,326 --> 00:16:17,456
(audience laughing)
398
00:16:17,456 --> 00:16:18,795
- Good!
399
00:16:18,795 --> 00:16:22,456
- Gets more informal every minute!
400
00:16:22,456 --> 00:16:24,105
- Well now, I have a list of points here
401
00:16:24,105 --> 00:16:26,054
from young Mr. Grace,
so let's go through them
402
00:16:26,054 --> 00:16:26,887
one by one, hmm?
403
00:16:26,887 --> 00:16:28,627
First, dress.
404
00:16:28,627 --> 00:16:31,067
We must henceforth
dispense with the formality
405
00:16:31,067 --> 00:16:33,067
of our dress and all this rubbish about
406
00:16:33,067 --> 00:16:37,275
two inches of white handkerchief
at the top pocket and--
407
00:16:37,275 --> 00:16:38,358
- Carnations?
408
00:16:39,387 --> 00:16:40,793
- Carnations and--
409
00:16:40,793 --> 00:16:43,006
- Frills on blouses?
410
00:16:43,006 --> 00:16:45,115
- Exactly, it's all out of text.
411
00:16:45,115 --> 00:16:46,427
All out of date.
412
00:16:46,427 --> 00:16:48,475
Dress to express your personalities.
413
00:16:48,475 --> 00:16:52,566
Don't look like salesmen,
look like people.
414
00:16:52,566 --> 00:16:55,376
Second, the approach to the customer.
415
00:16:55,376 --> 00:16:57,474
Don't strut up to the customer and say,
416
00:16:57,474 --> 00:16:58,827
"Are you being served?"
417
00:16:58,827 --> 00:17:01,046
No no, make contact with them.
418
00:17:01,046 --> 00:17:03,886
Say, "Hello there, my name's Stephen
419
00:17:03,886 --> 00:17:05,446
"and this is--"
420
00:17:05,446 --> 00:17:06,279
- Dick.
421
00:17:06,279 --> 00:17:09,279
(audience laughing)
422
00:17:10,235 --> 00:17:12,915
- Yes, Dick, and you'll see if he's got
423
00:17:12,915 --> 00:17:14,046
something your size.
424
00:17:14,046 --> 00:17:17,046
(audience laughter)
425
00:17:20,706 --> 00:17:22,736
Thirdly, atmosphere.
426
00:17:22,736 --> 00:17:26,587
Atmosphere, we must get rid
of this museum like hush.
427
00:17:26,587 --> 00:17:29,006
We must have background music.
428
00:17:29,006 --> 00:17:30,776
- Oh, I should look forward to that.
429
00:17:30,776 --> 00:17:32,566
Betty here leaning over
the counter, chewing gum,
430
00:17:32,566 --> 00:17:36,016
singing Hey Big Spender,
Spend A Little Time On Me.
431
00:17:36,016 --> 00:17:37,849
- Watch it, Mr. Lucas.
432
00:17:38,735 --> 00:17:39,686
- Dick.
433
00:17:39,686 --> 00:17:42,747
(laughter)
434
00:17:42,747 --> 00:17:44,664
- Thank you, Clayborne.
435
00:17:48,496 --> 00:17:51,603
- Lastly, I have noticed a little tension
436
00:17:51,603 --> 00:17:53,406
between various members of the staff.
437
00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:55,976
This can communicate itself to customers.
438
00:17:55,976 --> 00:17:58,275
Mr. Grace has ordered that
we should start each day
439
00:17:58,275 --> 00:18:00,816
as we mean to go on by
declaring our friendship
440
00:18:00,816 --> 00:18:01,787
for each other.
441
00:18:01,787 --> 00:18:03,467
- Friendship?
442
00:18:03,467 --> 00:18:04,475
- Yes.
443
00:18:04,475 --> 00:18:07,136
Yes, we should start each
day by gripping our fellow
444
00:18:07,136 --> 00:18:09,646
workers by the hand,
looking into their eyes
445
00:18:09,646 --> 00:18:11,635
and saying, "I like you."
446
00:18:11,635 --> 00:18:14,435
(audience laughter)
447
00:18:14,435 --> 00:18:17,602
Let's try it now, I'll set an example.
448
00:18:23,425 --> 00:18:25,092
I like you, Stephen.
449
00:18:27,006 --> 00:18:29,589
- And I like you too, Cuthbert.
450
00:18:30,926 --> 00:18:33,803
- From now on, we're
going to be great friends.
451
00:18:33,803 --> 00:18:35,136
- Oh yes indeed.
452
00:18:36,366 --> 00:18:38,366
- Yes, good, good, good.
453
00:18:39,747 --> 00:18:44,275
- I can feel the tears of
joy welling up inside me.
454
00:18:44,275 --> 00:18:46,387
- Now well, Betty and Shirley,
455
00:18:46,387 --> 00:18:48,326
let's see there's no ill will between you.
456
00:18:48,326 --> 00:18:50,076
Grip her hand, Betty.
457
00:18:56,646 --> 00:18:57,479
Smile.
458
00:19:00,416 --> 00:19:02,907
Now say, "I like you Shirley."
459
00:19:02,907 --> 00:19:04,740
- I like you, Shirley.
460
00:19:06,136 --> 00:19:07,027
- Excellent, excellent.
461
00:19:07,027 --> 00:19:08,035
Now, Clayborne--
462
00:19:08,035 --> 00:19:09,735
- Hang on a minute, I'm not having this.
463
00:19:09,735 --> 00:19:11,496
She hadn't said she liked me.
464
00:19:11,496 --> 00:19:13,406
(laughter)
465
00:19:13,406 --> 00:19:14,496
- I didn't get a chance, did I?
466
00:19:14,496 --> 00:19:17,079
Old jug ears jumps straight in.
467
00:19:18,456 --> 00:19:21,123
- Old jug ears, yes I like that.
468
00:19:24,126 --> 00:19:25,994
Very well Shirley, off you go then.
469
00:19:25,994 --> 00:19:29,374
- No, it's too late now,
the moment's passed.
470
00:19:29,374 --> 00:19:30,207
- Well, nevermind.
471
00:19:30,207 --> 00:19:31,456
Let's all do it together.
472
00:19:31,456 --> 00:19:33,645
Ready, steady, go.
473
00:19:33,645 --> 00:19:35,616
I like you Ernest.
474
00:19:35,616 --> 00:19:37,866
(laughter)
475
00:19:39,465 --> 00:19:40,955
Yes, excellent, marvelous.
476
00:19:40,955 --> 00:19:45,395
Now, I think this overtime
has been very well spent.
477
00:19:45,395 --> 00:19:47,155
- I have a question, Cuthbert.
478
00:19:47,155 --> 00:19:48,227
- Yes Stephen?
479
00:19:48,227 --> 00:19:49,615
- May we go home?
480
00:19:49,615 --> 00:19:50,947
- Well, you may.
481
00:19:50,947 --> 00:19:54,256
- What a shame, we were
just becoming good friends.
482
00:19:54,256 --> 00:19:56,966
- Now remember, when you
come in on Monday morning,
483
00:19:56,966 --> 00:19:58,766
it's informal attire.
484
00:19:58,766 --> 00:20:00,846
We're all on first name terms
485
00:20:00,846 --> 00:20:04,094
and friendship and banter
are the order of the day.
486
00:20:04,094 --> 00:20:05,924
Well, goodnight Ernest.
487
00:20:05,924 --> 00:20:07,275
Goodnight Clayborne.
488
00:20:07,275 --> 00:20:08,675
- Sweet dreams, Cuth.
489
00:20:08,675 --> 00:20:10,925
(laughter)
490
00:20:11,813 --> 00:20:13,686
- Goodnight Dick.
491
00:20:13,686 --> 00:20:15,686
- See you around, Baldy.
492
00:20:18,469 --> 00:20:20,438
- Goodnight Shirley and Betty.
493
00:20:20,438 --> 00:20:23,419
- Yeah, we don't have to kiss ya, do we?
494
00:20:23,419 --> 00:20:24,336
- No.
495
00:20:24,336 --> 00:20:27,036
- Thank Heaven for that.
496
00:20:27,036 --> 00:20:28,168
- Night Stephen.
497
00:20:28,168 --> 00:20:29,596
- Goodnight Cuthbert.
498
00:20:29,596 --> 00:20:31,263
- What do you think?
499
00:20:32,787 --> 00:20:36,047
- I was dubious at first
but, I can see the advantage
500
00:20:36,047 --> 00:20:38,956
of being able to speak
one's mind and get things
501
00:20:38,956 --> 00:20:42,267
off one's chest without
fear of upsetting anybody.
502
00:20:42,267 --> 00:20:44,007
- Oh, I'm so glad you feel that Stephen
503
00:20:44,007 --> 00:20:46,056
because there's something I've
been wanting to say to you
504
00:20:46,056 --> 00:20:47,155
all day.
505
00:20:47,155 --> 00:20:48,638
- Oh really Cuthbert, what's that?
506
00:20:48,638 --> 00:20:49,768
- Get stuffed.
507
00:20:49,768 --> 00:20:53,935
(audience laughter)
(applause)
508
00:20:57,107 --> 00:20:57,940
- Morning.
509
00:20:57,940 --> 00:20:58,773
- Hello.
510
00:20:58,773 --> 00:21:00,606
How's it going, Harry?
511
00:21:01,566 --> 00:21:03,316
- Mr. Harmond to you.
512
00:21:05,427 --> 00:21:07,358
- In accordance with the
new policy of the store,
513
00:21:07,358 --> 00:21:09,574
we are all on first name terms now.
514
00:21:09,574 --> 00:21:12,874
- Not me, not until my convene
has ratified the agreement
515
00:21:12,874 --> 00:21:14,996
with a properly constituted committee.
516
00:21:14,996 --> 00:21:17,958
Until then, it's Mr. Harmond.
517
00:21:17,958 --> 00:21:20,688
- Alright, how's it going Mr. Harmond?
518
00:21:20,688 --> 00:21:21,918
- Not bad, Cuthbert.
519
00:21:21,918 --> 00:21:23,939
(laughter)
520
00:21:23,939 --> 00:21:25,186
Yeah, I thought you were supposed to wear
521
00:21:25,186 --> 00:21:26,427
casual things.
522
00:21:26,427 --> 00:21:28,059
- Oh, that is for the
members of the department
523
00:21:28,059 --> 00:21:29,008
who meet the public.
524
00:21:29,008 --> 00:21:30,787
It doesn't apply to executive staff.
525
00:21:30,787 --> 00:21:32,998
(elevator ding)
526
00:21:32,998 --> 00:21:36,278
(audience laughter)
527
00:21:36,278 --> 00:21:38,528
(applause)
528
00:21:43,235 --> 00:21:45,818
- Mick Jagger and Twiggy's mom.
529
00:21:47,527 --> 00:21:49,777
- Morning Shirley and Dick.
530
00:21:50,876 --> 00:21:54,097
I must say, I think you both
made a marvelous effort.
531
00:21:54,097 --> 00:21:57,014
- Where's the signing in book, man?
532
00:21:58,347 --> 00:22:01,419
- We've dispensed with
all that sort of red tape.
533
00:22:01,419 --> 00:22:05,002
Just stand there now
and press this button.
534
00:22:09,427 --> 00:22:12,298
See, that's taken a picture
of you and the clock.
535
00:22:12,298 --> 00:22:14,139
- It has done away with
the red tape, hasn't it?
536
00:22:14,139 --> 00:22:14,972
Where's Peacock?
537
00:22:14,972 --> 00:22:16,179
I mean, sorry, Stephen.
538
00:22:16,179 --> 00:22:18,467
- Well, contrary to
instructions, he arrived
539
00:22:18,467 --> 00:22:20,299
formal dressed as usual.
540
00:22:20,299 --> 00:22:22,547
So I've sent him off
to our way out boutique
541
00:22:22,547 --> 00:22:25,187
to be made to look a little more trendy.
542
00:22:25,187 --> 00:22:27,478
- Hey, I never new you had a hairy chest.
543
00:22:27,478 --> 00:22:29,646
- I've had it for years,
why don't you try it?
544
00:22:29,646 --> 00:22:31,896
(laughter)
545
00:22:35,113 --> 00:22:37,363
(applause)
546
00:22:39,438 --> 00:22:41,287
- Good morning Ernest.
547
00:22:41,287 --> 00:22:43,979
- It isn't good at all.
548
00:22:43,979 --> 00:22:48,027
Mrs. Grainger doesn't
believe I've gone to work.
549
00:22:48,027 --> 00:22:50,227
She thinks that I've pulled somebody
550
00:22:50,227 --> 00:22:52,060
in the mix bowls team.
551
00:22:54,088 --> 00:22:55,539
(elevator ding)
552
00:22:55,539 --> 00:22:56,872
- Morning Betty.
553
00:22:58,107 --> 00:22:59,857
- Good morning, Dick.
554
00:23:01,539 --> 00:23:06,187
- Let's see what you've got
under the coat, Mrs. Slocombe.
555
00:23:06,187 --> 00:23:08,608
Oh come now, you can do better than that.
556
00:23:08,608 --> 00:23:12,598
- Mr. Rumbold, I have
worked in stores for nay on
557
00:23:12,598 --> 00:23:15,357
more years than I care to remember.
558
00:23:15,357 --> 00:23:18,139
And I have always dressed
to suit the dignified
559
00:23:18,139 --> 00:23:20,187
side of my personality.
560
00:23:20,187 --> 00:23:24,019
- But Mrs. Slocombe, it's
the warm, uninhibited side
561
00:23:24,019 --> 00:23:27,387
of your personality that
we're hoping to see.
562
00:23:27,387 --> 00:23:28,387
- Very well.
563
00:23:30,848 --> 00:23:35,015
(audience laughter)
(applause)
564
00:23:41,627 --> 00:23:43,306
- I don't know about
the front, but it's very
565
00:23:43,306 --> 00:23:45,306
uninhibited at the back.
566
00:23:46,488 --> 00:23:49,568
- You asked for it and you've got it.
567
00:23:49,568 --> 00:23:53,238
- And a double helping
too, if I may say so.
568
00:23:53,238 --> 00:23:55,155
- You'll get a fat lip!
569
00:23:57,738 --> 00:23:59,988
(applause)
570
00:24:06,139 --> 00:24:08,947
- Cuthbert, Ernest, Shirley, Dick.
571
00:24:08,947 --> 00:24:11,780
And if I'm not mistaken, May West.
572
00:24:13,457 --> 00:24:14,766
- Magnificent.
573
00:24:14,766 --> 00:24:17,318
You shouldn't have taken all that trouble.
574
00:24:17,318 --> 00:24:18,151
- What are you talking about?
575
00:24:18,151 --> 00:24:20,918
I haven't been home since last night.
576
00:24:20,918 --> 00:24:22,426
Where's Stephen?
577
00:24:22,426 --> 00:24:26,458
- Oh, he's being modernized
in the way out boutique.
578
00:24:26,458 --> 00:24:30,625
(applause)
(laughter)
579
00:24:37,664 --> 00:24:39,581
- Get me Austin Reed's.
580
00:24:42,497 --> 00:24:44,568
- Been a very good week, Mr. Grace.
581
00:24:44,568 --> 00:24:46,907
May I say how glad we
are that you've returned
582
00:24:46,907 --> 00:24:49,219
safely from your trip to the east?
583
00:24:49,219 --> 00:24:50,619
We've got all the idea running.
584
00:24:50,619 --> 00:24:52,946
Everything's running very smoothly.
585
00:24:52,946 --> 00:24:56,196
(60's slow rock music)
586
00:25:08,328 --> 00:25:09,878
- Peace man.
587
00:25:09,878 --> 00:25:10,711
- Love.
588
00:25:13,777 --> 00:25:15,027
- That as well.
589
00:25:15,968 --> 00:25:17,328
- You have trousers?
590
00:25:17,328 --> 00:25:18,819
- Far as the eye can see.
591
00:25:18,819 --> 00:25:20,402
- Then pant me man.
592
00:25:21,768 --> 00:25:22,918
- Clayborne?
593
00:25:22,918 --> 00:25:25,027
- You call, Stevie, baby?
594
00:25:25,027 --> 00:25:27,128
(laughter)
595
00:25:27,128 --> 00:25:30,226
- Strides for the old me with an afria.
596
00:25:30,226 --> 00:25:31,408
(laughter)
597
00:25:31,408 --> 00:25:32,857
- Wish me luck Dick.
598
00:25:32,857 --> 00:25:35,190
- Hit em with the tape Clay!
599
00:25:37,792 --> 00:25:41,959
- I haven't understood a
single word for seven days.
600
00:25:43,298 --> 00:25:47,465
- Stay with it Ernest or it
could be goodbye as well.
601
00:25:49,128 --> 00:25:51,237
- Are you serving?
602
00:25:51,237 --> 00:25:52,654
- Are you buyin'?
603
00:25:53,866 --> 00:25:55,459
- Of course I'm buying.
604
00:25:55,459 --> 00:25:57,042
- Then I'm serving.
605
00:25:58,718 --> 00:26:02,019
- I'm looking for a pair of tan pantyhose.
606
00:26:02,019 --> 00:26:03,519
- My name's Betty.
607
00:26:04,848 --> 00:26:09,438
- Good, I'm looking for
a pair of tan pantyhose.
608
00:26:09,438 --> 00:26:10,771
- Call me Betty.
609
00:26:12,499 --> 00:26:16,248
- I'm looking for a pair
of tan pantyhose, Betty.
610
00:26:16,248 --> 00:26:17,831
- What's your name?
611
00:26:18,888 --> 00:26:20,408
- Cynthia Randall.
612
00:26:20,408 --> 00:26:24,158
- Oh Cynthia, what a beautiful name.
613
00:26:24,158 --> 00:26:26,207
Oh and it does suit ya.
614
00:26:26,207 --> 00:26:28,168
I like you Cynthia.
615
00:26:28,168 --> 00:26:30,585
I really do like you Cynthia.
616
00:26:34,878 --> 00:26:36,387
No, really.
617
00:26:36,387 --> 00:26:39,998
(audience laughter)
618
00:26:39,998 --> 00:26:43,831
(laughing drowns out speaker)
619
00:26:45,474 --> 00:26:49,638
I've been trying all week and
I still can't get it right.
620
00:26:49,638 --> 00:26:52,388
- Nevermind, let it all hang out.
621
00:26:53,779 --> 00:26:56,048
- Don't you mean hang in?
622
00:26:56,048 --> 00:26:59,548
- Not from where I'm standing, Betty baby.
623
00:27:01,157 --> 00:27:01,990
- Hurry up, hurry up.
624
00:27:01,990 --> 00:27:05,556
This display unit was supposed
to be ready a week ago.
625
00:27:05,556 --> 00:27:07,539
All the other floors have got theirs.
626
00:27:07,539 --> 00:27:11,067
I'm afraid we've had
certain teething problems.
627
00:27:11,067 --> 00:27:13,377
The teeth kept falling out.
628
00:27:13,377 --> 00:27:17,207
- Gather round everybody,
the display unit has arrived.
629
00:27:17,207 --> 00:27:19,867
Now, this will stand outside your lift
630
00:27:19,867 --> 00:27:22,587
and every time the doors
open, it will raise it's hat
631
00:27:22,587 --> 00:27:25,667
and say, "Welcome to my
store, welcome to my store."
632
00:27:25,667 --> 00:27:28,796
- Oh it's so lifelike,
it gives me the shivers.
633
00:27:28,796 --> 00:27:30,328
- Shall I activate it?
634
00:27:30,328 --> 00:27:32,627
- Yes Mr. Harmond.
635
00:27:32,627 --> 00:27:35,118
- Welcome to my store.
636
00:27:35,118 --> 00:27:37,579
Welcome to my store.
637
00:27:37,579 --> 00:27:39,259
Welcome to my store.
638
00:27:39,259 --> 00:27:42,547
- Oh, switch it off Mr. Harmond.
639
00:27:42,547 --> 00:27:45,118
- I thought it was
supposed to raise it's hat.
640
00:27:45,118 --> 00:27:46,997
- Yes, what's wrong with it, Harmond?
641
00:27:46,997 --> 00:27:48,848
- I told ya, we've been
having troubles with it.
642
00:27:48,848 --> 00:27:50,118
Hang on.
643
00:27:50,118 --> 00:27:51,147
Shall I give it one more try?
644
00:27:51,147 --> 00:27:52,064
- Yes, yes.
645
00:27:52,916 --> 00:27:55,339
- Welcome to my store.
646
00:27:55,339 --> 00:27:57,667
Welcome to my store.
647
00:27:57,667 --> 00:27:59,334
Welcome to my store.
648
00:28:00,299 --> 00:28:02,718
Welcome to my store.
649
00:28:02,718 --> 00:28:05,017
Welcome to my store.
650
00:28:05,017 --> 00:28:08,017
(audience laughter)
651
00:28:10,379 --> 00:28:12,046
Welcome to my store.
652
00:28:13,168 --> 00:28:15,288
- Oh, remove it Mr. Harmond.
653
00:28:15,288 --> 00:28:18,386
Bring it back when it's working properly.
654
00:28:18,386 --> 00:28:20,578
- How many more of these duft ideas
655
00:28:20,578 --> 00:28:22,209
have we got to put up with?
656
00:28:22,209 --> 00:28:23,042
(elevator ding)
657
00:28:23,042 --> 00:28:26,549
- That'll be Mr. Grace,
positions everybody.
658
00:28:26,549 --> 00:28:28,698
(audience laughter)
659
00:28:28,698 --> 00:28:30,326
- Afternoon everybody.
660
00:28:30,326 --> 00:28:31,243
- Hi Daddy.
661
00:28:33,499 --> 00:28:35,658
- Welcome back from Peking, Sir.
662
00:28:35,658 --> 00:28:37,440
I hope your trip was a success.
663
00:28:37,440 --> 00:28:39,200
- Oh yes, a very great success, yes.
664
00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:42,147
I've given up the idea of
this American approach,
665
00:28:42,147 --> 00:28:45,808
but I've got some great new ideas now.
666
00:28:45,808 --> 00:28:48,286
You'll find them all
in my little red book.
667
00:28:48,286 --> 00:28:50,203
- Thank you, Mr. Grace.
668
00:28:52,408 --> 00:28:55,241
- You've all done very welly, huh?
669
00:28:57,821 --> 00:29:00,821
(audience applause)
48191
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