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1
00:00:02,690 --> 00:00:04,937
It's called "eSports," and it's real.
_
2
00:00:04,939 --> 00:00:07,139
Professional video gamers
going head-to-head
3
00:00:07,141 --> 00:00:09,180
as a stadium full of people watch.
4
00:00:09,190 --> 00:00:10,965
- [Crowd shouts "BoneDevil"]
- Oh, and here he comes,
5
00:00:10,965 --> 00:00:12,915
the defending "Voyage Quest" champion...
6
00:00:12,916 --> 00:00:14,794
BoneDevil666.
7
00:00:14,794 --> 00:00:16,902
Let's see if we can get a word.
Mr. Devil! Mr. Devil!
8
00:00:16,904 --> 00:00:18,504
Can I get two words from you?
9
00:00:18,981 --> 00:00:20,906
Uh, sure. Yes.
10
00:00:20,908 --> 00:00:23,642
A win for you today
would bring your team
11
00:00:23,644 --> 00:00:25,511
one step closer
to the world championships
12
00:00:25,513 --> 00:00:26,773
in Pyongyang.
13
00:00:26,774 --> 00:00:28,380
Are you feeling the pressure?
14
00:00:28,382 --> 00:00:30,650
The Big Bone dominates "Voyage Quest."
15
00:00:30,652 --> 00:00:32,325
That's an undisputed fact.
16
00:00:32,326 --> 00:00:34,530
And anyone who gets in his way
17
00:00:34,550 --> 00:00:35,655
is gonna be looking at the business end
18
00:00:35,657 --> 00:00:37,521
of a Complainium Broadsword.
19
00:00:37,522 --> 00:00:39,183
- No more questions.
- What?
20
00:00:39,239 --> 00:00:41,200
Hey, hey, hey. Can I get your autograph?
21
00:00:41,200 --> 00:00:42,127
Oh, yeah, sure.
22
00:00:42,129 --> 00:00:43,995
Who should I, uh, make it out to?
23
00:00:43,997 --> 00:00:45,264
- [Crowd gasps]
- Barbara: Oh, my God!
24
00:00:45,266 --> 00:00:48,934
BoneDevil666 has just
been ruthlessly attacked!
25
00:00:48,936 --> 00:00:51,470
[Crying] Why? Why? Why? Why?
26
00:00:51,472 --> 00:00:53,472
[Gunshot]
27
00:00:53,474 --> 00:00:55,741
♪
28
00:00:55,743 --> 00:00:59,879
Atkins: BoneDevil666
is the nom de guerre
29
00:00:59,881 --> 00:01:02,836
of 22-year-old professional
gamer Paul Boneson.
30
00:01:02,837 --> 00:01:04,416
[Horn honking]
31
00:01:04,418 --> 00:01:06,285
Sorry, Murphy. Above your pay grade.
32
00:01:06,287 --> 00:01:07,710
Come on, Hoffman!
33
00:01:08,960 --> 00:01:09,972
[Curtain slides]
34
00:01:10,692 --> 00:01:12,892
Boneson plays a game
called "Voyage Quest"
35
00:01:12,894 --> 00:01:15,602
for a professional gaming team
known as SharkSpark.
36
00:01:15,666 --> 00:01:16,962
The attack, which you're seeing now,
37
00:01:16,964 --> 00:01:18,364
has taken his fingers out of the running
38
00:01:18,366 --> 00:01:19,498
for the world championships.
39
00:01:19,500 --> 00:01:21,500
Sir, I thought we were taking cases
40
00:01:21,502 --> 00:01:23,435
outside of law enforcement,
41
00:01:23,437 --> 00:01:26,972
like international espionage
and haunted trains?
42
00:01:26,974 --> 00:01:28,507
Damn it, Mom.
Your unique brand of skepticism
43
00:01:28,509 --> 00:01:29,975
is gonna tear this team apart!
44
00:01:29,976 --> 00:01:33,245
Fortunately, I anticipated
Tribeca's rock-hard cynicism.
45
00:01:33,247 --> 00:01:35,114
Therefore, this briefing will be given
46
00:01:35,116 --> 00:01:37,917
by the director of the Special
Division Force himself...
47
00:01:37,919 --> 00:01:40,465
- [Brakes squeak]
- Vice President Joe Perry.
48
00:01:40,466 --> 00:01:42,388
[Door opens]
49
00:01:42,390 --> 00:01:45,570
♪
50
00:01:45,291 --> 00:01:47,358
BoneDevil666 is the nom de guerre
51
00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:48,892
of a 22-year-old gamer named Paul...
52
00:01:48,894 --> 00:01:49,897
Sorry, Joe. I-I covered that.
53
00:01:49,898 --> 00:01:51,706
You were further down the
road than I thought.
54
00:01:51,707 --> 00:01:53,831
Did Tribeca show her
unique brand of skepticism?
55
00:01:53,833 --> 00:01:54,712
That's exactly where we are.
56
00:01:54,713 --> 00:01:56,466
The video gaming industry
57
00:01:56,467 --> 00:01:58,382
brings more money into the U.S. economy
58
00:01:58,383 --> 00:02:01,305
than missiles, oil, and
coffee-cup sleeves combined.
59
00:02:01,307 --> 00:02:04,457
If a foreign entity wants
to disrupt that industry,
60
00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:05,405
we wanna know about it,
61
00:02:05,406 --> 00:02:07,778
and ideally, we wanna stop it.
62
00:02:07,780 --> 00:02:09,640
You know what I just heard you say?
63
00:02:09,641 --> 00:02:11,808
"I'm sending you to
prison for 20 years."
64
00:02:11,809 --> 00:02:13,445
Oh, my God. Are you still on that?
65
00:02:13,446 --> 00:02:14,923
It's been like 20 years.
66
00:02:14,924 --> 00:02:17,110
You locked me up and threw away the key!
67
00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:19,207
I didn't know that was the only copy!
68
00:02:20,393 --> 00:02:22,726
Look, Tribeca,
that was a different time.
69
00:02:22,727 --> 00:02:24,740
Back then, putting people
in jail was all the rage,
70
00:02:24,741 --> 00:02:27,120
and I guess I just jumped
on the bandwagon.
71
00:02:27,121 --> 00:02:29,533
All I care about is
the safety of this nation.
72
00:02:29,535 --> 00:02:31,335
That's why I brought you on board,
73
00:02:31,337 --> 00:02:33,396
because I knew I could count on you.
74
00:02:33,713 --> 00:02:36,540
So, can I... count on you...
75
00:02:36,542 --> 00:02:39,224
to care... about the safety...
of our nation?
76
00:02:39,258 --> 00:02:42,659
♪
77
00:02:42,740 --> 00:02:43,611
Yes, sir.
78
00:02:43,985 --> 00:02:44,955
All right, then.
79
00:02:45,762 --> 00:02:48,478
BoneDevil666 is recovering
in a hospital bed
80
00:02:48,479 --> 00:02:50,169
in Little Rock, Arkansas.
81
00:02:50,383 --> 00:02:52,555
It's the gaming capital
of the United States.
82
00:02:52,556 --> 00:02:54,358
Find out who attacked him and why.
83
00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:56,224
And even though everything you're doing
84
00:02:56,225 --> 00:02:58,731
will be perfectly legal,
don't tell anyone anything,
85
00:02:58,732 --> 00:03:01,550
unless you follow up with,
"Just kidding."
86
00:03:01,189 --> 00:03:05,769
♪
87
00:03:05,771 --> 00:03:07,971
- [Monitor beeping]
- [Indistinct talking over P.A.]
88
00:03:07,973 --> 00:03:09,258
[Groans]
89
00:03:09,259 --> 00:03:11,442
So, you didn't get a look
at the guy who attacked you?
90
00:03:11,861 --> 00:03:13,839
I just remember
he was wearing a ski mask.
91
00:03:13,841 --> 00:03:15,794
Lose the attitude, you little prick.
92
00:03:16,540 --> 00:03:17,827
Now, it's gonna be painful,
93
00:03:17,828 --> 00:03:19,340
but I wanna get your fingers moving.
94
00:03:19,341 --> 00:03:20,742
[Scoffs]
95
00:03:21,787 --> 00:03:24,686
♪
96
00:03:24,687 --> 00:03:26,402
[Groans] I can't do it.
97
00:03:27,466 --> 00:03:29,948
Who are these people?
What are they doing here?
98
00:03:29,949 --> 00:03:31,165
We're trying to get to the bottom
99
00:03:31,166 --> 00:03:32,602
of who attacked Mr. Boneson.
100
00:03:32,603 --> 00:03:34,695
A better question might be,
"Who are you?"
101
00:03:34,696 --> 00:03:36,667
And an even better question might be,
102
00:03:36,669 --> 00:03:39,270
"If prostitution is the oldest
profession in the world,
103
00:03:39,272 --> 00:03:41,805
who earned the money to pay
for the first prostitute?"
104
00:03:41,807 --> 00:03:44,341
I'm Becky Bunnker, and it's
obvious what happened.
105
00:03:44,343 --> 00:03:47,962
Someone, who probably doesn't
stand for the national anthem,
106
00:03:47,963 --> 00:03:49,873
didn't want him
to become world champion.
107
00:03:49,874 --> 00:03:52,126
Yeah, well, it doesn't seem
like Mr. Jelly Fingers over here
108
00:03:52,127 --> 00:03:54,143
even cares about
the world championships.
109
00:03:54,144 --> 00:03:56,868
You couldn't be more wrong.
"Voyage Quest" is his life.
110
00:03:56,869 --> 00:03:58,940
I don't know who told you otherwise.
111
00:03:58,941 --> 00:04:01,720
Actually, Beck, I'm just done
with this whole thing.
112
00:04:01,721 --> 00:04:03,498
I think I'm just gonna get a job
113
00:04:03,499 --> 00:04:05,375
teaching animals to play video games.
114
00:04:05,376 --> 00:04:07,100
You don't know what
you're saying, BoneDevil.
115
00:04:07,110 --> 00:04:08,499
We had plans, right?
116
00:04:08,501 --> 00:04:10,722
We were gonna buy that
Fuddruckers with your winnings.
117
00:04:10,729 --> 00:04:12,460
[Cellphone rings]
118
00:04:12,461 --> 00:04:14,237
- [Cellphone beeps]
- Tribeca.
119
00:04:15,308 --> 00:04:16,974
- Right away, sir.
- [Cellphone beeps]
120
00:04:17,364 --> 00:04:18,151
This just in...
121
00:04:18,152 --> 00:04:20,444
the attacker turned himself
in to Little Rock PD.
122
00:04:20,446 --> 00:04:21,499
He's at the station now.
123
00:04:21,500 --> 00:04:23,247
Well, don't you think
we should have a word with him
124
00:04:23,249 --> 00:04:24,782
before somebody else does?
125
00:04:24,784 --> 00:04:30,654
♪
126
00:04:30,656 --> 00:04:32,939
How much longer do I have to wait here?
127
00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:35,111
I'm trying to confess to a crime!
128
00:04:35,329 --> 00:04:36,566
Take a number.
129
00:04:36,918 --> 00:04:40,119
- Yo, pastrami, please.
- Coming up.
130
00:04:40,733 --> 00:04:42,733
[Police radio chatter]
131
00:04:42,735 --> 00:04:45,736
[Indistinct conversations]
132
00:04:45,738 --> 00:04:47,338
[Engine starts]
133
00:04:47,340 --> 00:04:55,746
♪
134
00:04:55,748 --> 00:04:57,348
[Chuckles]
135
00:05:01,870 --> 00:05:02,663
[Grunts] I want answers.
136
00:05:02,664 --> 00:05:03,863
And I want 'em now!
137
00:05:04,632 --> 00:05:07,580
[Grunting]
138
00:05:14,331 --> 00:05:16,197
[Slurps]
139
00:05:16,413 --> 00:05:17,280
[Sighs]
140
00:05:17,504 --> 00:05:18,528
Just do it.
141
00:05:19,160 --> 00:05:20,250
Just get it over with.
142
00:05:20,260 --> 00:05:21,680
We just wanna know what happened.
143
00:05:21,681 --> 00:05:23,347
They're gonna come after me, man.
144
00:05:23,349 --> 00:05:26,300
They're gonna kill you because
of what you did to Paul Boneson?
145
00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:27,151
Yes!
146
00:05:27,153 --> 00:05:28,686
[Whispers] To keep me quiet!
147
00:05:28,688 --> 00:05:29,687
Do you know them?
148
00:05:29,689 --> 00:05:31,155
[Normal voice] It's my team.
149
00:05:31,157 --> 00:05:33,291
It's SharkSpark. They're me. I'm them.
150
00:05:33,293 --> 00:05:36,494
Why would SharkSpark wanna
go after its own players?
151
00:05:36,698 --> 00:05:39,897
It's all about coins, man.
All they want is coins.
152
00:05:39,899 --> 00:05:41,910
"They"? The company?
153
00:05:42,234 --> 00:05:44,368
It's the company working
with the gamers,
154
00:05:44,370 --> 00:05:47,370
working with the Mafia,
working with the CIA,
155
00:05:47,390 --> 00:05:49,123
working with a temp agency.
156
00:05:49,909 --> 00:05:51,709
This is a riddle wrapped in a sudoku
157
00:05:51,711 --> 00:05:54,440
tied up with a crossword
suspended over the jumble.
158
00:05:54,460 --> 00:05:57,700
And they're gonna come after me.
I'm a dead man.
159
00:05:57,517 --> 00:05:59,373
Look, we're gonna keep you safe.
160
00:05:59,509 --> 00:06:01,108
You can't keep me safe from them.
161
00:06:01,110 --> 00:06:02,712
We're supposed to try.
162
00:06:03,589 --> 00:06:08,580
♪
163
00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:09,518
Why don't we take him to a motel,
164
00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:10,995
sit with him till he calms down?
165
00:06:10,997 --> 00:06:12,262
You sure?
166
00:06:12,264 --> 00:06:14,198
W-We don't even really know
what's going on.
167
00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:16,803
Well, you said it yourself,
it's a stupid case.
168
00:06:17,269 --> 00:06:20,270
♪
169
00:06:20,272 --> 00:06:22,580
You have nothing to worry about.
170
00:06:23,523 --> 00:06:25,343
I won't let you out of my sight.
171
00:06:25,345 --> 00:06:27,545
♪
172
00:06:27,547 --> 00:06:28,965
I'm gonna run in for
some beer real quick.
173
00:06:28,966 --> 00:06:30,196
You want anything?
174
00:06:30,683 --> 00:06:31,749
Could you please hurry?!
175
00:06:31,751 --> 00:06:33,751
Yeah, totally. I'll be right back.
176
00:06:33,753 --> 00:06:37,755
[Mid-tempo music plays on radio]
177
00:06:37,757 --> 00:06:40,158
[Breathing heavily]
178
00:06:40,160 --> 00:06:46,497
♪
179
00:06:46,499 --> 00:06:48,566
[Screams]
180
00:06:48,568 --> 00:06:49,967
Should I get this ski mask?
181
00:06:49,969 --> 00:06:51,573
- [Panting]
- Ah, you know what?
182
00:06:51,574 --> 00:06:53,281
I'm never gonna use this.
183
00:06:54,507 --> 00:06:57,508
[Breathing heavily]
184
00:06:57,510 --> 00:07:01,846
♪
185
00:07:01,848 --> 00:07:03,247
[Screams]
186
00:07:03,249 --> 00:07:05,516
Crazy sale on knives, dude!
You want one?!
187
00:07:05,518 --> 00:07:06,450
Aaah!
188
00:07:06,452 --> 00:07:07,732
I'm getting you one.
189
00:07:08,210 --> 00:07:10,421
[Panting]
190
00:07:10,590 --> 00:07:13,570
♪
191
00:07:13,590 --> 00:07:14,792
[Whirring]
192
00:07:14,794 --> 00:07:16,600
[Screams]
193
00:07:16,620 --> 00:07:18,596
Yo! They're doing free tank rides!
194
00:07:18,598 --> 00:07:20,375
- You gotta try it!
- Aaaah!
195
00:07:20,376 --> 00:07:21,679
Shit. Right. The beer.
196
00:07:21,680 --> 00:07:25,870
[Panting]
197
00:07:25,872 --> 00:07:27,404
[Knock on window]
198
00:07:27,405 --> 00:07:28,278
[Sighing] Oh.
199
00:07:29,876 --> 00:07:31,290
Finally.
200
00:07:31,238 --> 00:07:32,575
Can we get out of here?
201
00:07:35,215 --> 00:07:38,909
♪
202
00:07:38,910 --> 00:07:40,560
All right!
203
00:07:40,387 --> 00:07:42,352
[Groans]
204
00:07:42,354 --> 00:07:43,821
Here we go!
205
00:07:43,823 --> 00:07:47,580
♪
206
00:07:47,590 --> 00:07:48,563
[Sighs]
207
00:07:48,564 --> 00:07:51,816
Ah, no need, dude. Beer's on me.
208
00:07:51,817 --> 00:07:53,631
[Chuckles]
209
00:07:56,896 --> 00:07:58,436
You're a Fudgsicle.
210
00:07:58,438 --> 00:08:01,239
You're a Creamsicle. You're a Bomb Pop.
211
00:08:01,241 --> 00:08:03,507
- You're lactose intolerant.
- [Children screaming]
212
00:08:03,509 --> 00:08:05,910
Hey! Hey!
213
00:08:06,687 --> 00:08:09,359
A man died here! Have a little respect!
214
00:08:13,720 --> 00:08:15,353
I want answers!
215
00:08:18,139 --> 00:08:19,570
I found something.
216
00:08:20,590 --> 00:08:21,459
What the hell is that?
217
00:08:21,461 --> 00:08:23,600
It's like a dollar, but not.
218
00:08:23,620 --> 00:08:24,595
No, no, no. It's got too many colors.
219
00:08:24,597 --> 00:08:25,352
It's a Euro.
220
00:08:25,353 --> 00:08:27,998
Maybe fake money from a board game?
221
00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:30,134
Look at this seam of silver
going through it.
222
00:08:30,810 --> 00:08:33,203
It's a Euro.
It's money they use in Europe.
223
00:08:33,205 --> 00:08:35,273
Whatever it is, it scares
the hell out of me.
224
00:08:35,275 --> 00:08:38,127
I can slip this to a contact I
have at the Mint, off the record.
225
00:08:38,128 --> 00:08:40,770
So, we have a kid carrying
226
00:08:40,790 --> 00:08:42,680
some kind of spooky
money in his pocket...
227
00:08:42,682 --> 00:08:44,140
[Sternly] A Euro.
228
00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:46,611
Someone needs to go
undercover with this...
229
00:08:46,612 --> 00:08:48,418
SharkSpark Gaming team.
230
00:08:48,420 --> 00:08:49,553
I'll do it.
231
00:08:49,555 --> 00:08:51,489
Mom, you've never played
a video game in your life.
232
00:08:51,491 --> 00:08:53,557
- I played Simon.
- That's not a video game!
233
00:08:53,559 --> 00:08:54,551
It had a battery.
234
00:08:54,553 --> 00:08:55,893
No, it needs to be me.
235
00:08:56,233 --> 00:08:58,700
Right, the one good thing about
being abandoned at the age of two
236
00:08:58,701 --> 00:09:00,715
is that every foster
home I was placed in
237
00:09:00,716 --> 00:09:02,904
had a different video game system.
238
00:09:02,906 --> 00:09:03,907
A.J.'s our man.
239
00:09:03,908 --> 00:09:06,104
No. No, no, no. It's too dangerous.
240
00:09:06,105 --> 00:09:07,843
I must've missed the meeting
where you decide
241
00:09:07,845 --> 00:09:09,357
which missions I go on
and which I don't!
242
00:09:09,358 --> 00:09:10,207
It was on the calendar.
243
00:09:10,209 --> 00:09:11,647
I am not saying this as your mother.
244
00:09:11,649 --> 00:09:14,375
I am saying this as somebody
who has 30 years of experience!
245
00:09:14,376 --> 00:09:16,416
20 of which were behind bars, so... Aah!
246
00:09:16,417 --> 00:09:17,822
You listen to me, you little punk...
247
00:09:17,823 --> 00:09:20,474
- Hey! Break it up!
- You stay out of this!
248
00:09:20,475 --> 00:09:23,250
Hey! Hands off the big man!
249
00:09:23,585 --> 00:09:26,247
Everybody's picking on Tribeca,
and I don't like it!
250
00:09:26,248 --> 00:09:27,385
Break it up!
251
00:09:28,265 --> 00:09:29,517
Where's A.J.?
252
00:09:29,594 --> 00:09:34,196
♪
253
00:09:34,412 --> 00:09:35,612
What do you want, idiot?
254
00:09:35,806 --> 00:09:37,473
Heard you're down a couple gamers.
255
00:09:37,475 --> 00:09:39,274
Thanks, Google News Alert.
256
00:09:39,276 --> 00:09:40,547
What else you got for me?
257
00:09:40,548 --> 00:09:43,255
Well, just so happens
I'm looking for a new team.
258
00:09:43,256 --> 00:09:45,891
Sorry, new phone. Who dis?
259
00:09:45,892 --> 00:09:48,616
Look, we both know gold coins
are where it's at, bro.
260
00:09:48,905 --> 00:09:50,952
Just so happens,
I just took second place
261
00:09:50,954 --> 00:09:53,510
at the Slovenian
"Voyage Quest" Championships
262
00:09:53,520 --> 00:09:55,900
with over 10 million gold coins.
263
00:09:55,920 --> 00:09:57,395
Slovenia? That's hardcore.
264
00:09:57,396 --> 00:10:00,905
BaguetteBardot1-800-555-1212
won that, didn't she?
265
00:10:00,906 --> 00:10:03,219
You don't beat BaguetteBardot.
266
00:10:03,220 --> 00:10:05,670
Not on her worst day. Come on in.
267
00:10:06,636 --> 00:10:10,839
♪
268
00:10:10,841 --> 00:10:12,307
[Video game sound effects playing]
269
00:10:12,309 --> 00:10:14,629
Have a seat, grab a headset.
270
00:10:15,150 --> 00:10:16,748
You can show us what you got.
271
00:10:16,980 --> 00:10:18,914
♪
272
00:10:18,916 --> 00:10:19,790
Oh.
273
00:10:21,919 --> 00:10:24,319
You want a little something
to get your engine running
274
00:10:24,321 --> 00:10:25,650
before I check you out?
275
00:10:25,651 --> 00:10:26,560
Uh...
276
00:10:27,324 --> 00:10:29,600
I don't recognize that brand.
277
00:10:29,727 --> 00:10:32,960
That's 'cause it's illegal, bitch.
278
00:10:32,730 --> 00:10:35,271
It's strawberry lemonade mixed
with horse adrenalin.
279
00:10:35,272 --> 00:10:36,732
They used to give it to the NASA monkeys
280
00:10:36,734 --> 00:10:38,400
to keep them awake in space.
281
00:10:38,402 --> 00:10:39,605
Well, sure, I'll try it.
282
00:10:40,137 --> 00:10:42,538
[Chuckles]
283
00:10:42,540 --> 00:10:43,772
[Grunts]
284
00:10:45,943 --> 00:10:54,282
♪
285
00:10:54,284 --> 00:10:55,751
Whoo!
286
00:10:55,753 --> 00:11:01,156
♪
287
00:11:01,158 --> 00:11:03,291
[Distorted voices]
288
00:11:03,293 --> 00:11:05,227
[Chuckles]
289
00:11:05,229 --> 00:11:07,763
♪
290
00:11:07,765 --> 00:11:10,165
Okay, so, all you gotta do
is craft a spear,
291
00:11:10,167 --> 00:11:13,720
kill a Lesser Nerblet,
and raid his hut for the coins.
292
00:11:13,730 --> 00:11:14,242
That sounds easy!
293
00:11:14,583 --> 00:11:16,142
Yeah. Right.
294
00:11:17,498 --> 00:11:18,645
Huh? Huh?
295
00:11:18,646 --> 00:11:19,403
Now do it.
296
00:11:20,177 --> 00:11:21,689
Well, why stop there?
297
00:11:23,688 --> 00:11:24,881
Tie my hands.
298
00:11:25,916 --> 00:11:28,183
♪
299
00:11:28,185 --> 00:11:30,652
And... go.
300
00:11:30,654 --> 00:11:32,985
[ Chiming]
301
00:11:32,986 --> 00:11:35,190
My hut! My coins!
302
00:11:35,192 --> 00:11:37,460
♪
303
00:11:37,461 --> 00:11:38,316
Done!
304
00:11:38,317 --> 00:11:39,932
You can have Ozzy's room.
305
00:11:40,998 --> 00:11:43,198
[Sighs]
306
00:11:45,269 --> 00:11:46,598
Whoo.
307
00:11:47,710 --> 00:11:51,240
♪
308
00:11:54,778 --> 00:11:56,578
[Sighs]
309
00:11:56,580 --> 00:11:58,129
We haven't seen Ozzy for a couple days,
310
00:11:58,130 --> 00:11:59,739
so I guess all this stuff is yours now.
311
00:11:59,740 --> 00:12:00,778
Hey, man, is that the bathroom?
312
00:12:00,779 --> 00:12:02,634
'Cause this horse adrenaline
is going right through me.
313
00:12:02,635 --> 00:12:04,960
Yeah, don't freak out
314
00:12:04,970 --> 00:12:05,937
if you fill up the whole bowl, okay?
315
00:12:06,790 --> 00:12:08,810
Welcome to SharkSpark.
316
00:12:08,820 --> 00:12:09,165
[Chuckles]
317
00:12:12,620 --> 00:12:14,462
[Water running]
318
00:12:14,464 --> 00:12:15,663
Hello?
319
00:12:15,664 --> 00:12:19,960
♪
320
00:12:19,970 --> 00:12:20,703
You got a bad washer in here.
321
00:12:20,704 --> 00:12:21,961
I should have one in my truck.
322
00:12:21,962 --> 00:12:23,381
Okay. Thanks.
323
00:12:25,743 --> 00:12:29,770
♪
324
00:12:29,790 --> 00:12:31,562
So, you're the new
number one around here?
325
00:12:31,563 --> 00:12:32,815
- Looks that way.
- Hmm.
326
00:12:32,816 --> 00:12:36,177
Being number one comes
with certain... perks.
327
00:12:36,178 --> 00:12:37,317
And what are those?
328
00:12:37,318 --> 00:12:38,787
Full medical, dental,
329
00:12:38,788 --> 00:12:40,140
and optical coverage,
330
00:12:40,141 --> 00:12:43,130
including one pair
of free glasses per year.
331
00:12:43,140 --> 00:12:45,469
Ooh. Designer brands included?
332
00:12:45,470 --> 00:12:46,939
Oh, yes.
333
00:12:46,940 --> 00:12:49,319
Sounds like I'm gonna be
well taken care of.
334
00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:50,456
Oh, I almost forgot.
335
00:12:50,968 --> 00:12:52,616
You get a free team shirt.
336
00:12:54,905 --> 00:12:56,438
Do I get the team bra?
337
00:12:56,440 --> 00:12:58,731
Let's see how good of a player you are.
338
00:12:59,176 --> 00:13:01,324
♪
339
00:13:01,325 --> 00:13:02,723
Becky: Oh, my God.
340
00:13:03,290 --> 00:13:04,496
Oh, my God!
341
00:13:04,815 --> 00:13:06,514
You're amazing!
342
00:13:06,516 --> 00:13:07,761
You wanna give it a shot?
343
00:13:07,762 --> 00:13:09,443
No, I don't understand these games.
344
00:13:09,444 --> 00:13:10,759
I just like to watch.
345
00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:12,454
Ooh, grab the coins. Grab the coins!
346
00:13:12,456 --> 00:13:13,855
What is it with you people
and the coins?
347
00:13:13,857 --> 00:13:17,584
That's not how you win!
God, this mattress sucks!
348
00:13:17,585 --> 00:13:18,994
This...
349
00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:23,505
What the hell?
350
00:13:24,101 --> 00:13:25,166
- [Grunts]
- Aah!
351
00:13:25,232 --> 00:13:26,470
[Body thuds]
352
00:13:27,715 --> 00:13:28,633
Ah!
353
00:13:29,807 --> 00:13:30,939
[Breathing heavily]
354
00:13:31,930 --> 00:13:32,162
Please don't kill me!
355
00:13:32,163 --> 00:13:34,900
What is it with you people
and getting killed?!
356
00:13:34,110 --> 00:13:36,344
He's crazy! He'll stop at nothing!
357
00:13:36,346 --> 00:13:37,894
- Who?
- You don't understand.
358
00:13:37,895 --> 00:13:39,281
This is so much bigger than...
359
00:13:39,283 --> 00:13:40,503
No, no, no! Wait, wait, wait.
360
00:13:40,504 --> 00:13:42,320
Don't start that. Just let me think.
361
00:13:42,752 --> 00:13:44,999
Gold coins. Everybody wants gold coins.
362
00:13:45,856 --> 00:13:49,574
And this kid somehow's got
piles of fake money.
363
00:13:49,648 --> 00:13:51,359
I-It's gotta be connected!
364
00:13:51,361 --> 00:13:52,427
It is connected!
I can tell you...
365
00:13:52,429 --> 00:13:53,695
Would you shut up for a second?
366
00:13:53,697 --> 00:13:55,814
I'm trying to piece this thing together.
367
00:13:56,330 --> 00:13:57,849
What if it isn't fake money?
368
00:13:58,636 --> 00:14:01,650
Wait, what if it's real money
and the coins are...
369
00:14:01,660 --> 00:14:02,233
He's laundering money through the ga...
370
00:14:02,234 --> 00:14:04,720
Can you just be quiet for five seconds?!
371
00:14:05,575 --> 00:14:07,397
Okay, so, you got fake money going in,
372
00:14:07,398 --> 00:14:08,509
real money coming back.
373
00:14:08,510 --> 00:14:11,367
Ooh! It's laundering! Of course!
374
00:14:11,368 --> 00:14:13,798
BoneDevil, he... he doesn't
want to collect coins,
375
00:14:13,799 --> 00:14:16,384
so he's useless, so Ozzy takes him out,
376
00:14:16,386 --> 00:14:18,409
but Ozzy's got a big mouth,
so they take Ozzy out.
377
00:14:18,410 --> 00:14:20,933
- Ozzy's dead?!
- Can you just shush?!
378
00:14:20,934 --> 00:14:22,450
You need to protect me!
379
00:14:22,451 --> 00:14:24,460
'Cause if he thinks I talked, he's...
380
00:14:24,462 --> 00:14:26,760
Look, I am definitely good
at protecting people.
381
00:14:26,761 --> 00:14:28,610
You don't need to worry about that.
382
00:14:28,611 --> 00:14:31,641
But I need to meet this big guy
who's running everything.
383
00:14:31,642 --> 00:14:33,335
Absolutely not! No way!
384
00:14:33,337 --> 00:14:35,688
Come on! There's no way I can finish it.
385
00:14:37,229 --> 00:14:39,160
It's an international
money-laundering scheme.
386
00:14:39,161 --> 00:14:42,482
The money changes hands through
the gold coins in "Voyage Quest."
387
00:14:42,483 --> 00:14:45,347
Oh, and those weird
paper rectangles we found,
388
00:14:45,349 --> 00:14:47,860
they're called Euros.
389
00:14:47,348 --> 00:14:49,284
This is from my buddy at the Mint.
390
00:14:49,286 --> 00:14:50,547
They're called Euros.
391
00:14:50,888 --> 00:14:51,982
[Glass shatters]
392
00:14:51,983 --> 00:14:53,985
Oh, and Becky,
who was BoneDevil's girlfriend,
393
00:14:53,986 --> 00:14:55,891
but is now my girlfriend...
I'll get to that in a second...
394
00:14:55,893 --> 00:14:57,451
she's gonna arrange a
meet-up with the head
395
00:14:57,452 --> 00:14:58,946
- of the whole operation.
- Tribeca: That's great.
396
00:14:58,947 --> 00:15:00,696
We'll go in as a team, fully armed...
397
00:15:00,698 --> 00:15:02,729
No, no, no, no. It has to be only me.
398
00:15:02,730 --> 00:15:03,626
No, we...
399
00:15:04,634 --> 00:15:07,173
All right, just don't
let your guard down
400
00:15:07,174 --> 00:15:09,771
because some floozy let you
jiggle her love button.
401
00:15:09,773 --> 00:15:11,973
You can't push someone else's
button in this game.
402
00:15:11,975 --> 00:15:12,777
You can in Simon.
403
00:15:12,778 --> 00:15:14,682
All right, everybody. Just stop.
404
00:15:15,994 --> 00:15:17,788
All right, A.J. It's all you.
405
00:15:18,516 --> 00:15:19,715
Yeah!
406
00:15:19,717 --> 00:15:23,118
♪
407
00:15:25,956 --> 00:15:29,491
♪
408
00:15:29,493 --> 00:15:31,391
[French accent] Come in, come in.
409
00:15:32,362 --> 00:15:35,769
Pay no attention to... the rainbow!
410
00:15:35,770 --> 00:15:37,232
[Sighs]
411
00:15:37,234 --> 00:15:39,586
So beautiful, don't you think?
412
00:15:40,950 --> 00:15:41,725
Fireball!
413
00:15:43,626 --> 00:15:45,839
Bienvenue, welcome.
414
00:15:46,504 --> 00:15:50,650
My name... is Pierre Cardin.
415
00:15:50,848 --> 00:15:53,717
And I hear that you are
the new Chef des Jeux Vidéos.
416
00:15:53,718 --> 00:15:55,120
Uh, uh, yeah, I guess.
417
00:15:55,130 --> 00:15:56,727
I mean, some people think
I'm pretty good.
418
00:15:56,728 --> 00:15:58,272
[Laughs]
419
00:15:58,273 --> 00:15:59,313
"Pretty good"?
420
00:15:59,494 --> 00:16:01,160
Pretty good, mon Dieu!
421
00:16:01,591 --> 00:16:03,581
But you delight me with your modesty.
422
00:16:03,582 --> 00:16:05,794
He's actually one of the best
I've ever seen.
423
00:16:05,796 --> 00:16:07,183
Hmm.
424
00:16:07,184 --> 00:16:10,342
You know, people love to throw
around this word "best"...
425
00:16:10,567 --> 00:16:11,639
Best Buy,
426
00:16:12,126 --> 00:16:13,603
Seattle's Best Coffee,
427
00:16:13,857 --> 00:16:15,555
This Country's Best Yogurt.
428
00:16:16,244 --> 00:16:17,760
But these are just words, no?
429
00:16:17,761 --> 00:16:20,940
Would you be willing to, say...
430
00:16:20,960 --> 00:16:24,990
stake your life on the fact
that you are the best?
431
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:27,569
I-I'm not sure I follow.
432
00:16:27,571 --> 00:16:29,971
This is the latest in VR gaming.
433
00:16:30,503 --> 00:16:32,907
You will be completely, totally immersed
434
00:16:32,909 --> 00:16:36,244
in the virtual landscape
of "Voyage Quest."
435
00:16:36,246 --> 00:16:38,713
You will not only see and hear
everything around you,
436
00:16:39,377 --> 00:16:43,539
but this is also what we call
total biological simulation,
437
00:16:44,188 --> 00:16:45,689
or total BS.
438
00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:47,856
- Wouldn't that be TBS?
- [Chuckles]
439
00:16:48,432 --> 00:16:49,357
Very funny.
440
00:16:49,726 --> 00:16:51,393
What I mean to say is,
441
00:16:51,395 --> 00:16:55,969
that this game will connect
to your central nervous system.
442
00:16:56,626 --> 00:16:59,333
Whatever the avatar
experiences in the game,
443
00:16:59,335 --> 00:17:02,229
the game player will
experience, as well.
444
00:17:02,873 --> 00:17:07,316
If, for example,
your avatar were to... die,
445
00:17:08,678 --> 00:17:11,733
the human controller will die, as well.
446
00:17:12,348 --> 00:17:14,816
♪
447
00:17:14,818 --> 00:17:16,210
[Coughs] Mom?
448
00:17:16,352 --> 00:17:18,787
Jesus Christ. A.J., get out of there!
449
00:17:21,638 --> 00:17:22,464
All right.
450
00:17:22,959 --> 00:17:24,426
Let's give this a whirl.
451
00:17:24,813 --> 00:17:26,294
Now, how... how exactly
do you make this...
452
00:17:26,296 --> 00:17:28,230
- [Whirring]
- Aah! [Groans]
453
00:17:28,232 --> 00:17:31,833
The game is now connected
to your spinal cord.
454
00:17:32,677 --> 00:17:33,768
How... Oh.
455
00:17:33,770 --> 00:17:35,360
Okay.
456
00:17:35,380 --> 00:17:37,171
- Uh...
- [Beeping]
457
00:17:37,173 --> 00:17:40,642
Okay, so, you got tennis, Ping-Pong...
458
00:17:40,644 --> 00:17:42,644
Keep scrolling down.
459
00:17:43,326 --> 00:17:44,446
"Voyage Quest."
460
00:17:44,448 --> 00:17:47,381
Now hit the virtual "start" button.
461
00:17:47,383 --> 00:17:48,246
Uh, okay.
462
00:17:48,641 --> 00:17:50,108
[ Fanfare]
463
00:17:50,254 --> 00:17:51,453
I'm in!
464
00:17:52,131 --> 00:17:53,700
Wow!
465
00:17:54,390 --> 00:17:55,886
It's so real.
466
00:17:56,593 --> 00:17:58,526
I-I-I can... I can feel
the breeze through my...
467
00:17:58,528 --> 00:18:01,329
- [Thuds]
- Aah! Ow!
468
00:18:01,331 --> 00:18:03,665
♪
469
00:18:03,667 --> 00:18:05,297
Becky, what the hell?!
470
00:18:06,136 --> 00:18:13,141
♪
471
00:18:13,143 --> 00:18:19,881
♪
472
00:18:19,883 --> 00:18:23,820
BaguetteBardot? The world's best gamer.
473
00:18:23,483 --> 00:18:25,830
[French accent] Enchanté.
474
00:18:25,355 --> 00:18:27,555
Cardin: Obviously, the only way
for me to actually know
475
00:18:27,557 --> 00:18:31,445
if you are the best
is for you to play my champion.
476
00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:35,229
So, the rules will be as follows...
477
00:18:35,231 --> 00:18:39,873
If Baguette wins, well... you die.
478
00:18:40,904 --> 00:18:45,373
But if you win,
I will allow you to arrest me
479
00:18:45,375 --> 00:18:48,910
for money laundering
and international espionage,
480
00:18:49,212 --> 00:18:51,913
Angela Geils Jr.
481
00:18:51,915 --> 00:18:53,448
[Gasps]
482
00:18:53,450 --> 00:18:55,490
He's made. He's made!
483
00:18:55,510 --> 00:18:56,450
I don't like this!
484
00:18:56,452 --> 00:18:58,520
We wasted an entire half-sandwich!
485
00:18:58,522 --> 00:18:59,921
Scholls, you have to hack into the game!
486
00:18:59,923 --> 00:19:01,704
You have to get him out of there!
487
00:19:01,752 --> 00:19:05,590
♪
488
00:19:05,610 --> 00:38:11,211
It's...
489
00:19:07,263 --> 00:19:08,694
beautiful.
490
00:19:09,465 --> 00:19:10,655
♪
491
00:19:10,656 --> 00:19:13,670
[Whirring]
492
00:19:13,690 --> 00:19:15,809
[ Beeping]
493
00:19:15,810 --> 00:19:20,875
♪
494
00:19:21,209 --> 00:19:22,744
Space Needle!
495
00:19:22,746 --> 00:19:24,478
Troll Blanket!
496
00:19:24,948 --> 00:19:26,548
Cornish Game Hen.
497
00:19:26,550 --> 00:19:27,511
Leg of Lamb!
498
00:19:27,512 --> 00:19:29,884
- Grease Pencil!
- [Grunts]
499
00:19:30,916 --> 00:19:32,860
[Groans]
500
00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:34,288
Banana Peel! [Grunts]
501
00:19:34,290 --> 00:19:35,623
Ice Mushroom!
502
00:19:35,625 --> 00:19:36,558
Vapor Shield!
503
00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:37,559
Fire Rain!
504
00:19:37,561 --> 00:19:39,930
Globe of Conservation!
505
00:19:39,950 --> 00:19:40,370
Horn of Plenty!
506
00:19:40,371 --> 00:19:41,726
[Horn sounds]
507
00:19:41,727 --> 00:19:42,807
Technicolor Dreamcoat!
508
00:19:42,808 --> 00:19:44,432
- Aah!
- Elf Leg!
509
00:19:44,434 --> 00:19:45,633
Aaaah!
510
00:19:45,635 --> 00:19:47,769
- Elf Leg!
- No!
511
00:19:47,771 --> 00:19:50,638
- Elf Leg!
- Noooooo!
512
00:19:50,640 --> 00:19:53,175
Dagger of Espadrille!
513
00:19:53,177 --> 00:19:56,440
Au revoir, Monsieur Geils!
514
00:19:56,460 --> 00:19:57,645
Au revoir!
515
00:19:57,647 --> 00:19:58,780
Nooooo!
516
00:19:58,782 --> 00:20:00,480
[Groans]
517
00:20:01,135 --> 00:20:03,585
Simon says... "You're dead."
518
00:20:03,587 --> 00:20:07,655
♪
519
00:20:07,970 --> 00:20:08,661
No.
520
00:20:09,259 --> 00:20:15,597
♪
521
00:20:15,599 --> 00:20:17,131
You son of a...
522
00:20:17,133 --> 00:20:23,738
♪
523
00:20:23,740 --> 00:20:25,730
- [Beep]
- Cardin's in the wind.
524
00:20:25,750 --> 00:20:26,540
Cardin's in the wind!
525
00:20:26,542 --> 00:20:28,877
Don't sweat it. We'll pick you up in 20.
526
00:20:28,879 --> 00:20:30,212
Cardin will get his.
527
00:20:30,214 --> 00:20:32,130
- [Beep]
- Roger that.
528
00:20:32,150 --> 00:20:39,621
♪
529
00:20:39,623 --> 00:20:41,223
[Whirring]
530
00:20:41,225 --> 00:20:42,757
[Sighs]
531
00:20:42,759 --> 00:20:44,893
[ Beeps]
532
00:20:44,895 --> 00:20:46,270
[Whirring]
533
00:20:46,290 --> 00:20:47,695
Ooh.
534
00:20:47,697 --> 00:20:49,363
[Chuckles]
535
00:20:51,206 --> 00:20:53,402
This feels like a real Hula-Hoop!
536
00:20:56,455 --> 00:20:58,724
♪
537
00:20:58,725 --> 00:21:01,921
Synced and corrected by hawken45
for www.addic7ed.com
538
00:21:04,448 --> 00:21:11,520
♪
34073
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