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♪ Oh, my darling ♪
2
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♪ Oh, my darling ♪
3
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♪ Oh, my darling, Clementine ♪
4
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♪ You are lost and gone for... ♪
5
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These armadillos are getting
to be a goddamn menace.
6
00:00:47,479 --> 00:00:50,362
Why don't they just build cars
out of armadillo skin?
7
00:00:51,972 --> 00:00:53,304
Well, shit, Larry.
8
00:00:53,417 --> 00:00:55,951
That's a million-dollar idea
you got there.
9
00:00:55,953 --> 00:00:59,418
It'd be a real shame
if someone... stole it from ya.
10
00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:03,282
Someone's coming.
11
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Afternoon, boys.
12
00:02:03,827 --> 00:02:05,225
I appreciate your service,
13
00:02:05,226 --> 00:02:08,780
but I'm afraid I'm gonna
have to take it from here.
14
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Fine by us.
15
00:02:14,298 --> 00:02:15,965
I said, I'm gonna take it from here!
16
00:02:24,110 --> 00:02:26,308
I've recently been handed
a rather bleak diagnosis
17
00:02:26,310 --> 00:02:28,377
and may not have much
longer on this earth,
18
00:02:28,387 --> 00:02:32,329
so I thought to myself, what a
perfect time to adopt a baby.
19
00:02:34,909 --> 00:02:36,318
What's going on here?
20
00:02:37,137 --> 00:02:39,270
What is the Special Division Force?
21
00:02:39,551 --> 00:02:42,151
I told you, we take on cases...
22
00:02:42,526 --> 00:02:44,460
I know what the official explanation is,
23
00:02:44,462 --> 00:02:46,412
but I want to know
what we're really doing.
24
00:02:46,413 --> 00:02:49,198
Right now, our only job is to follow
25
00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:50,727
the orders of the Vice President.
26
00:02:50,728 --> 00:02:52,534
Vice President Perry?
27
00:02:52,536 --> 00:02:54,604
The man who not only threw me into jail
28
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but whose administration
has been plagued by scandal
29
00:02:57,800 --> 00:02:58,207
since he was elected?
30
00:02:58,209 --> 00:02:59,675
He's no John Nance Garner,
31
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but he's the only
Vice President we've got!
32
00:03:01,660 --> 00:03:02,894
John Nance Garner?
33
00:03:03,365 --> 00:03:05,223
He's barely Schuyler Colfax.
34
00:03:06,294 --> 00:03:10,500
Sir, how do we know
if we're even the good guys?
35
00:03:11,789 --> 00:03:14,988
Tribeca, look me in the eye.
36
00:03:18,466 --> 00:03:19,921
We are the good guys.
37
00:03:21,156 --> 00:03:23,309
I stole the dead teacher from the cops.
38
00:03:23,474 --> 00:03:24,876
Now what?
39
00:03:32,176 --> 00:03:33,881
His name is Charlie Clef.
40
00:03:34,135 --> 00:03:35,863
Come on, Hoffman. Sorry, Murphy.
41
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Above your pay grade.
42
00:03:37,539 --> 00:03:39,648
He was a beloved
computer science teacher
43
00:03:39,650 --> 00:03:43,569
at Freddie Prinze Junior Senior
High School in Amarillo, Texas.
44
00:03:43,570 --> 00:03:45,408
He was also the most
prolific distributor
45
00:03:45,409 --> 00:03:48,524
of malware and computer exploits
in the Northern Hemisphere.
46
00:03:48,526 --> 00:03:50,766
His clients included
terrorist organizations,
47
00:03:50,767 --> 00:03:52,810
hostile foreign governments,
48
00:03:52,820 --> 00:03:54,100
and people who want
to see celebrities naked.
49
00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:55,993
So now he's dead. End of story, right?
50
00:03:55,994 --> 00:03:58,800
Wrong. Beginning of story.
51
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Clef had just put the finishing touches
52
00:04:00,310 --> 00:04:02,824
on a particularly
damaging computer virus.
53
00:04:03,143 --> 00:04:05,276
The kind of thing that
shuts down power grids
54
00:04:05,278 --> 00:04:07,328
and publishes your browsing history.
55
00:04:08,215 --> 00:04:10,549
So now he's dead. End of story, right?
56
00:04:10,551 --> 00:04:11,682
Wrong!
57
00:04:11,684 --> 00:04:13,618
Middle of story!
58
00:04:13,620 --> 00:04:16,621
His death provides us
with a unique opportunity
59
00:04:16,623 --> 00:04:20,158
to take his place and flush out
a high-profile buyer
60
00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:22,260
who recently expressed interest in...
61
00:04:22,280 --> 00:04:23,111
what was the name of the virus?
62
00:04:23,112 --> 00:04:24,429
LamarModem.
63
00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:26,697
Tribeca will impersonate Clef
64
00:04:26,699 --> 00:04:28,379
and try to make contact with the buyer
65
00:04:28,380 --> 00:04:31,250
while the rest of us infiltrate
the high school genre
66
00:04:31,260 --> 00:04:32,242
in supporting roles.
67
00:04:32,243 --> 00:04:33,443
I have one question.
68
00:04:33,445 --> 00:04:34,510
One sec.
69
00:04:34,512 --> 00:04:35,845
- Any questions?
- Uh, yes.
70
00:04:35,847 --> 00:04:37,257
Will you be taking questions?
71
00:04:37,311 --> 00:04:38,581
At the end. Anything else?
72
00:04:38,744 --> 00:04:40,516
Is Vice President Perry a crook?
73
00:04:40,518 --> 00:04:42,277
I am warning you, Tribeca!
74
00:04:42,854 --> 00:04:45,588
Now get to Prosthetics
for your disguise fitting!
75
00:04:45,590 --> 00:04:46,612
Yes, sir.
76
00:04:49,242 --> 00:04:51,176
Hey. What the hell is with you?
77
00:04:51,178 --> 00:04:52,711
Don't talk to me like that.
78
00:04:52,713 --> 00:04:54,178
I didn't raise you to be disrespectful.
79
00:04:54,180 --> 00:04:55,714
You didn't raise me at all.
80
00:04:55,816 --> 00:04:56,899
So it didn't come from me.
81
00:04:56,900 --> 00:04:59,117
Look, I-I read your autobiography, okay?
82
00:04:59,119 --> 00:05:01,119
I know that you're a lone wolf that...
83
00:05:01,121 --> 00:05:02,521
that doesn't trust the system,
84
00:05:02,523 --> 00:05:03,988
but I care about what we're doing,
85
00:05:03,990 --> 00:05:05,590
and I expect you to care about it, too.
86
00:05:05,592 --> 00:05:07,192
Maybe I'll care if I can figure out
87
00:05:07,194 --> 00:05:08,993
if we're actually fighting
for the right side.
88
00:05:08,995 --> 00:05:09,928
Oh, okay, well, that's just great.
89
00:05:09,930 --> 00:05:11,640
Well, you know what?
90
00:05:11,650 --> 00:05:12,398
Besides my birth,
this is the first thing you
91
00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:13,933
and I have done as mother and son.
92
00:05:13,935 --> 00:05:16,802
And if that's not enough for you
to care about this,
93
00:05:17,542 --> 00:05:18,871
then I guess it's high time
94
00:05:18,873 --> 00:05:20,406
I pick up a few bad habits
95
00:05:20,408 --> 00:05:22,316
and fall in with the wrong crowd.
96
00:05:44,488 --> 00:05:45,535
Let's do this.
97
00:05:47,869 --> 00:05:50,477
You were born Charles
John Jacob Jingleheimer Clef
98
00:05:50,588 --> 00:05:53,840
in Plano, Texas, on December 12, 1961.
99
00:05:54,230 --> 00:05:56,496
As an only child, you craved
your parents' approval,
100
00:05:56,498 --> 00:05:59,633
and as an adult, you seek that
approval from your students.
101
00:05:59,635 --> 00:06:01,701
Your intellectual
proclivities unfulfilled
102
00:06:01,703 --> 00:06:04,572
by the banal environment
of secondary education,
103
00:06:04,574 --> 00:06:06,390
you turned to the more challenging world
104
00:06:06,410 --> 00:06:08,576
of malevolent software programming.
105
00:06:08,578 --> 00:06:10,413
Favorite food... pizza.
106
00:06:11,313 --> 00:06:12,773
Let's see what we got.
107
00:06:16,874 --> 00:06:18,298
- Perfect.
- Wow.
108
00:06:18,988 --> 00:06:20,720
This is going to take
some getting used to.
109
00:06:20,722 --> 00:06:23,591
Now, remember, kids are
very different nowadays.
110
00:06:23,593 --> 00:06:26,126
They're very confident,
they're sex-positive,
111
00:06:26,128 --> 00:06:27,595
they're body-positive.
112
00:06:27,597 --> 00:06:29,919
And some of them have
unwarranted high self-esteem.
113
00:06:29,920 --> 00:06:32,250
If it's so unwarranted,
why am I so great?
114
00:06:32,260 --> 00:06:33,238
Good luck, Tribeca.
115
00:06:35,777 --> 00:06:36,804
Or should I say...?
116
00:06:36,806 --> 00:06:37,590
Mr. Clef?
117
00:06:38,375 --> 00:06:39,442
Yes, Delroy?
118
00:06:39,444 --> 00:06:41,844
I can't get my subroutine to run.
119
00:06:41,846 --> 00:06:44,596
Looks like there's
a parsing error in line 19.
120
00:06:45,570 --> 00:06:47,516
- What's the error?
- Well, if I told you that...
121
00:06:47,518 --> 00:06:49,369
- You wouldn't be teaching,
- I wouldn't be teaching,
122
00:06:49,370 --> 00:06:49,393
- you'd be telling.
- I'd be telling.
123
00:06:49,394 --> 00:06:51,796
That's right.
124
00:06:52,257 --> 00:06:54,858
All right, everybody,
websites are due Friday.
125
00:06:54,922 --> 00:06:58,323
Mr. C., can I... No, Tommy,
you cannot have an extension.
126
00:06:58,325 --> 00:06:59,923
You're the best, Mr. C.
127
00:07:03,630 --> 00:07:05,531
Charo, Scholls, you're geniuses.
128
00:07:05,723 --> 00:07:07,770
This is going to be a piece of cake.
129
00:07:10,700 --> 00:07:11,400
I knew it.
130
00:07:11,427 --> 00:07:13,960
Come on, Mr. Clef, we're gonna
be late for practice.
131
00:07:14,740 --> 00:07:15,206
What practice?
132
00:07:17,210 --> 00:07:19,144
You're so funny, Mr. C.
133
00:07:19,146 --> 00:07:20,705
Glee Club practice.
134
00:07:20,706 --> 00:07:21,883
You're the coach.
135
00:07:26,644 --> 00:07:28,153
We've got a problem.
136
00:07:32,587 --> 00:07:34,320
It's a beautiful day
for football practice
137
00:07:34,322 --> 00:07:37,300
as the Freddie Prinze Junior
Senior High squad
138
00:07:37,300 --> 00:07:39,759
runs their plays against a mock defense.
139
00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:41,491
But the team's in some
hot water this week
140
00:07:41,492 --> 00:07:44,510
after a local paper ran an editorial
141
00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:45,648
suggesting that their team name
142
00:07:45,649 --> 00:07:47,581
was offensive to Native Americans.
143
00:07:47,769 --> 00:07:49,871
I don't know how they got there
from Drunken Injuns,
144
00:07:49,872 --> 00:07:51,587
but, hey, I'm just a football fan.
145
00:07:52,621 --> 00:07:55,480
No! Jesus!
146
00:07:56,288 --> 00:07:58,400
Eleven, get your ass over here!
147
00:08:01,178 --> 00:08:02,471
It's a simple read option!
148
00:08:02,472 --> 00:08:03,730
You look for the hole!
149
00:08:03,731 --> 00:08:06,458
If it's not there, you pitch
to the running back!
150
00:08:06,459 --> 00:08:07,721
Durphy wasn't in position...
151
00:08:07,722 --> 00:08:08,767
I don't want to hear about Durphy!
152
00:08:08,768 --> 00:08:10,306
His parents are divorcing!
153
00:08:10,307 --> 00:08:12,606
He may be a step behind for a while!
154
00:08:15,545 --> 00:08:18,555
Your dad cheated on your mom,
so she's kicking him out.
155
00:08:18,556 --> 00:08:21,150
But that's not your fault,
so don't take that on.
156
00:08:21,373 --> 00:08:22,361
Thanks, Coach.
157
00:08:22,635 --> 00:08:24,900
Hit the showers, buddy.
158
00:08:24,864 --> 00:08:27,399
Now run it again!
159
00:08:27,513 --> 00:08:30,247
This time with your head
on the outside of your ass!
160
00:08:30,249 --> 00:08:30,981
Yes, sir.
161
00:08:32,851 --> 00:08:34,924
This is Coach.
162
00:08:34,925 --> 00:08:36,253
Oh, hey, Coach.
163
00:08:36,255 --> 00:08:37,587
It's Mr. Clef,
164
00:08:37,589 --> 00:08:39,456
who, when he's not busy selling malware,
165
00:08:39,458 --> 00:08:41,502
apparently runs the Glee Club.
166
00:08:43,194 --> 00:08:44,910
Damn it!
167
00:08:44,920 --> 00:08:45,462
How did we not see that coming?
168
00:08:45,464 --> 00:08:47,264
I don't know, but I did not study up
169
00:08:47,266 --> 00:08:48,932
on anything but computer science.
170
00:08:48,934 --> 00:08:51,735
I don't know anything about
F sharps and G minuses.
171
00:08:51,737 --> 00:08:53,536
Look, Tribeca, we are here
172
00:08:53,538 --> 00:08:55,205
to stop the spread of computer viruses,
173
00:08:55,207 --> 00:08:58,475
so you just hang on until you
get contacted by the buyer.
174
00:08:58,477 --> 00:09:01,678
And then we will tell the kids
their teacher is dead
175
00:09:01,680 --> 00:09:03,691
and we will get the hell out of here.
176
00:09:03,692 --> 00:09:04,428
Fine.
177
00:09:06,850 --> 00:09:07,817
All right, everyone.
178
00:09:07,819 --> 00:09:11,555
Well, obviously I know your
names, but maybe just for fun,
179
00:09:11,557 --> 00:09:13,290
you guys can sing your name
180
00:09:13,292 --> 00:09:16,837
and then the thing you're gonna
overcome before the big concert.
181
00:09:16,838 --> 00:09:18,967
♪ I'm Maria ♪
182
00:09:18,968 --> 00:09:21,298
♪ Pills and depression ♪
183
00:09:21,300 --> 00:09:23,567
♪ I eat my own hair ♪
184
00:09:23,569 --> 00:09:25,235
♪ My uncle makes me... ♪
185
00:09:25,237 --> 00:09:28,171
- Okay, all right. Next.
- ♪ I'm Pradeep ♪
186
00:09:28,451 --> 00:09:31,441
♪ Arranged marriage to
a girl that I do not love ♪
187
00:09:31,443 --> 00:09:32,976
♪ I'm Peter ♪
188
00:09:32,978 --> 00:09:36,179
♪ And there's a [bleep] in my locker ♪
189
00:09:36,181 --> 00:09:41,651
♪ I'm Grace and I'm pregnant
with Pradeep's baby ♪
190
00:09:41,653 --> 00:09:43,520
We don't need to hear from everyone.
191
00:09:43,522 --> 00:09:45,722
All right, so, should we, uh,
192
00:09:45,724 --> 00:09:48,458
pick it up from where we
left off last practice?
193
00:09:48,460 --> 00:09:50,794
Last practice you said
that you were going to write
194
00:09:50,796 --> 00:09:51,869
a brand-new song for us to try.
195
00:09:51,870 --> 00:09:53,863
I did. I did.
196
00:09:53,865 --> 00:09:56,600
Okay. Um, and yes, here it is.
197
00:09:56,602 --> 00:09:58,335
I hope that you like it.
198
00:10:01,992 --> 00:10:05,675
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
199
00:10:05,677 --> 00:10:09,218
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
200
00:10:09,219 --> 00:10:12,892
♪ Happy birthday, happy birthday ♪
201
00:10:13,177 --> 00:10:16,680
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
202
00:10:18,490 --> 00:10:19,330
Oh, my God.
203
00:10:19,673 --> 00:10:21,205
I love it.
204
00:10:21,493 --> 00:10:22,559
All right, great.
205
00:10:22,561 --> 00:10:24,361
All right, should we try it?
206
00:10:24,363 --> 00:10:27,875
Okay. And a one and a two and a...
207
00:10:35,374 --> 00:10:36,700
My water just broke!
208
00:10:38,860 --> 00:10:41,235
No, sir, I have not heard
from the buyer yet,
209
00:10:41,393 --> 00:10:43,446
but I did listen to the worst singers
210
00:10:43,448 --> 00:10:44,581
in the history of the world.
211
00:10:44,583 --> 00:10:47,533
I delivered a baby and...
Yeah, I can ask,
212
00:10:47,534 --> 00:10:49,642
but I think the
grandmother's raising it.
213
00:10:50,255 --> 00:10:54,144
Now, if I could just find some
decent confiscated snacks...
214
00:10:55,594 --> 00:10:57,221
And paydirt.
215
00:10:58,531 --> 00:11:00,454
All right, I'll talk to you tomorrow.
216
00:11:00,644 --> 00:11:02,150
Okay, love you too.
217
00:11:02,160 --> 00:11:03,400
_
218
00:11:03,402 --> 00:11:06,857
_
219
00:11:07,968 --> 00:11:09,968
_
220
00:11:12,916 --> 00:11:13,903
_
221
00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:15,831
_
222
00:11:17,880 --> 00:22:35,582
_
223
00:11:18,294 --> 00:11:19,632
_
224
00:11:22,213 --> 00:11:24,161
_
225
00:11:25,770 --> 00:11:27,712
_
226
00:11:29,988 --> 00:11:30,997
_
227
00:11:31,563 --> 00:11:32,998
_
228
00:11:34,729 --> 00:11:36,533
_
229
00:11:36,629 --> 00:11:37,953
_
230
00:11:39,327 --> 00:11:41,370
_
231
00:11:43,212 --> 00:11:45,212
_
232
00:11:47,522 --> 00:11:48,743
_
233
00:11:49,505 --> 00:11:51,743
_
234
00:11:53,315 --> 00:11:55,945
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235
00:11:57,640 --> 00:11:59,640
_
236
00:12:00,700 --> 00:12:02,700
_
237
00:12:02,899 --> 00:12:03,546
_
238
00:12:14,620 --> 00:12:17,315
Hey, what the hell happened
with tracking my target?
239
00:12:17,316 --> 00:12:18,461
He got totally spooked.
240
00:12:18,462 --> 00:12:20,343
Now, now, Tribeca, have a seat.
241
00:12:20,345 --> 00:12:21,879
Help yourself to a burger.
242
00:12:21,881 --> 00:12:24,740
I don't want to point any
fingers, but she messed up.
243
00:12:24,873 --> 00:12:26,985
Let's not play the blame game!
244
00:12:27,619 --> 00:12:28,752
Always takes forever.
245
00:12:28,754 --> 00:12:30,220
How about Cards Against Humanity?
246
00:12:30,222 --> 00:12:33,744
I masked my IP address with
triple DES 168-bit encryption.
247
00:12:33,745 --> 00:12:37,210
My little brother has triple
DES 168-bit encryption.
248
00:12:37,220 --> 00:12:38,992
Your technology is so two days ago.
249
00:12:38,993 --> 00:12:40,260
At least I've lost my virginity.
250
00:12:40,261 --> 00:12:41,936
So have I. He just lives in Europe.
251
00:12:41,937 --> 00:12:43,335
Knock it off, you two!
252
00:12:44,254 --> 00:12:45,987
Oh, it's eight players. That won't work.
253
00:12:45,988 --> 00:12:49,190
It'll be a miracle if he shows
up at the loading dock tonight.
254
00:12:49,192 --> 00:12:52,259
Where's A.J.? School was out
like 20 minutes ago.
255
00:12:52,261 --> 00:12:54,424
I'm afraid A.J.'s having
a hard time here.
256
00:12:54,429 --> 00:12:56,931
He's fallen in with a bad crowd.
257
00:13:06,390 --> 00:13:08,552
Oh, Lana likes what she sees.
258
00:13:08,553 --> 00:13:10,969
- I don't know about these clothes.
- Oh, trust me.
259
00:13:10,970 --> 00:13:13,118
Those shorts squeeze you
in all the right places,
260
00:13:13,119 --> 00:13:17,290
and in one place
that's very, very wrong.
261
00:13:17,684 --> 00:13:19,527
Here. Take a hit of this.
262
00:13:19,528 --> 00:13:21,290
- What's in that?
- Nothing much.
263
00:13:21,291 --> 00:13:25,363
Glucose, Electrolytes, some B vitamins.
264
00:13:25,493 --> 00:13:26,930
What if they test my urine?
265
00:13:27,403 --> 00:13:28,951
That's what this is for.
266
00:13:31,202 --> 00:13:33,670
That's a clean urine
in case they test you.
267
00:13:33,823 --> 00:13:35,224
Yeah, I know, I know.
268
00:13:36,572 --> 00:13:38,997
Okay, guys, let's log some miles.
269
00:13:39,604 --> 00:13:40,733
What are you doing?
270
00:13:40,734 --> 00:13:42,132
Oh, shoot, it's my mom.
271
00:13:42,133 --> 00:13:43,740
Wait, Mr. Clef is your mom?
272
00:13:43,741 --> 00:13:46,238
No, I meant to say my moon.
273
00:13:46,456 --> 00:13:48,687
Mr. Clef is your moon? That sucks.
274
00:13:48,688 --> 00:13:50,564
Where do you think you're going?
275
00:13:50,565 --> 00:13:52,116
You are gonna get off that bike
276
00:13:52,117 --> 00:13:53,844
and you're coming with me this minute.
277
00:13:53,845 --> 00:13:57,419
The only place he's going
is Stoneybrook Bike Path.
278
00:13:57,619 --> 00:13:59,740
So back off, old man.
279
00:13:59,750 --> 00:14:00,563
I would watch that mouth, young lady.
280
00:14:00,564 --> 00:14:02,866
What are you gonna do? I'm
already accepted at Stanford.
281
00:14:02,867 --> 00:14:04,890
You look ridiculous.
282
00:14:04,900 --> 00:14:05,524
This is how you want to spend your time?
283
00:14:05,525 --> 00:14:08,230
At least these people believe
in what they're doing.
284
00:14:08,231 --> 00:14:10,663
All right, let's go, A.J.
And you know what?
285
00:14:10,947 --> 00:14:12,481
If you do a good job today,
286
00:14:12,882 --> 00:14:15,343
I'm gonna teach you
how to shave your legs.
287
00:14:18,370 --> 00:14:20,450
Sorry, Mr. Clef.
288
00:14:21,399 --> 00:14:22,181
I got to go.
289
00:14:25,803 --> 00:14:28,204
Hey, hey, hey! What are you doing?
290
00:14:29,292 --> 00:14:30,538
You wanted to see me, sir?
291
00:14:30,539 --> 00:14:32,689
Yeah, Scholls, come on in. Take a knee.
292
00:14:37,939 --> 00:14:40,482
You know, this is a big case
we got going on here,
293
00:14:40,484 --> 00:14:42,130
and there's a lot of
pressure on everybody.
294
00:14:42,131 --> 00:14:42,890
Yes, sir.
295
00:14:42,891 --> 00:14:45,440
I'm just a little worried
your head's not totally in it.
296
00:14:45,450 --> 00:14:46,651
Charo gets under my skin.
297
00:14:46,652 --> 00:14:48,305
Charo's young. She's hungry.
298
00:14:48,579 --> 00:14:50,831
You just concentrate on what you have...
299
00:14:50,832 --> 00:14:53,563
wisdom, experience, and a smile
300
00:14:53,596 --> 00:14:55,467
that could light up New York City.
301
00:14:55,906 --> 00:14:57,604
Okay. I'll try.
302
00:14:57,806 --> 00:14:59,727
Hey! You can leave "try"
303
00:14:59,728 --> 00:15:01,303
out there with the dirty jock straps!
304
00:15:01,305 --> 00:15:02,996
You get 'er done, you hear?!
305
00:15:02,997 --> 00:15:03,582
Yes, sir!
306
00:15:03,584 --> 00:15:05,207
Now drop and give me 20!
307
00:15:12,909 --> 00:15:15,484
Hello, Mr. Clef.
308
00:15:15,485 --> 00:15:16,377
Who's there?
309
00:15:16,874 --> 00:15:18,283
I am Claude Merlot.
310
00:15:18,652 --> 00:15:19,685
Do you have the virus?
311
00:15:19,686 --> 00:15:21,753
Where are you? I can't see you.
312
00:15:21,974 --> 00:15:23,604
Do you have the virus?
313
00:15:24,443 --> 00:15:25,852
Yes, I have it right here.
314
00:15:26,980 --> 00:15:29,470
But you need to expose yourself.
315
00:15:29,490 --> 00:15:31,444
Okay, I'm doing it.
316
00:15:33,119 --> 00:15:34,523
Put the virus on the ground.
317
00:15:34,524 --> 00:15:36,120
Not until I see your face.
318
00:15:36,122 --> 00:15:39,123
The National Glee Club
Championship is tomorrow.
319
00:15:39,125 --> 00:15:42,600
This high school has won
every year the past 12 years
320
00:15:42,620 --> 00:15:44,996
under Charlie Clef's coaching.
321
00:15:44,998 --> 00:15:48,551
If you are who you say you are,
your team will win,
322
00:15:48,869 --> 00:15:51,200
and then we will make the exchange.
323
00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:53,500
Yeah, well, if that's
what you want, fine.
324
00:15:53,700 --> 00:15:54,246
It's no problem with me.
325
00:15:54,247 --> 00:15:56,137
I mean, I was planning
on winning anyway.
326
00:15:56,138 --> 00:15:57,636
Until tomorrow then.
327
00:15:58,812 --> 00:16:00,989
By the way, I am not in this Dumpster.
328
00:16:04,529 --> 00:16:07,278
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
329
00:16:07,279 --> 00:16:10,288
♪ Happy birthday ♪
330
00:16:10,290 --> 00:16:12,424
- ♪ Happy birthday ♪
- Tribeca: No, no, no!
331
00:16:12,426 --> 00:16:13,489
No! No!
332
00:16:13,490 --> 00:16:16,294
You're sharp, you're flat,
you're breastfeeding,
333
00:16:16,296 --> 00:16:17,562
and you're, like, amazing.
334
00:16:17,564 --> 00:16:19,831
Oh, I know. I was just faking it before.
335
00:16:19,833 --> 00:16:24,350
What is it going to take for you
people to get your act together?
336
00:16:24,370 --> 00:16:26,638
Peter, if you miss
your mark one more time,
337
00:16:26,640 --> 00:16:29,240
I am going to thwack you over
the head with your own
338
00:16:29,242 --> 00:16:31,777
I am trying, okay?
Todd's wheelchair is in the way.
339
00:16:31,779 --> 00:16:34,912
Seriously, Todd, just stand up
and do the choreography.
340
00:16:34,914 --> 00:16:37,382
Whoa, that is way out of line.
341
00:16:37,384 --> 00:16:39,117
Todd has Plantar Fasciitis, okay?
342
00:16:39,119 --> 00:16:42,250
You have no idea what it's like
to be in his orthotic shoes.
343
00:16:42,260 --> 00:16:42,991
I'm okay.
344
00:16:43,951 --> 00:16:44,823
I'm sorry.
345
00:16:45,392 --> 00:16:46,240
Okay?
346
00:16:47,162 --> 00:16:50,261
I'm guessing that I used to be
really good with kids,
347
00:16:50,263 --> 00:16:53,729
but the Mr. Clef who woke
up yesterday morning
348
00:16:54,726 --> 00:16:57,626
doesn't have a clue about
how to connect with a child.
349
00:16:58,138 --> 00:16:59,982
I thought it'd be easy, you know.
350
00:17:00,273 --> 00:17:04,380
Feed them, water them,
shear them when they get woolly.
351
00:17:05,145 --> 00:17:06,375
But it turns out...
352
00:17:08,682 --> 00:17:10,540
it's more than just that.
353
00:17:10,617 --> 00:17:14,486
You have to listen to them
and you have to pretend
354
00:17:14,488 --> 00:17:16,922
the things they care about
aren't stupid.
355
00:17:19,426 --> 00:17:22,158
Well, that doesn't come easily to me.
356
00:17:22,562 --> 00:17:24,839
Suddenly, in the last two days.
357
00:17:25,699 --> 00:17:28,433
But the National Championships
are this afternoon,
358
00:17:28,435 --> 00:17:31,416
and the stakes of winning
have never been higher.
359
00:17:32,540 --> 00:17:33,474
So let's make a deal.
360
00:17:34,241 --> 00:17:36,144
You guys try not to be terrible,
361
00:17:36,976 --> 00:17:38,577
and that would be great.
362
00:17:41,621 --> 00:17:42,687
Who's in?
363
00:17:48,194 --> 00:17:48,763
Sorry.
364
00:17:50,457 --> 00:17:53,580
♪ Oh, doo-dah day ♪
365
00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:55,126
♪ Going to run all night ♪
366
00:17:55,128 --> 00:17:57,395
♪ Going to run all day ♪
367
00:17:57,397 --> 00:17:59,531
♪ Bet my money on a bob-tail nag ♪
368
00:17:59,533 --> 00:18:01,820
♪ Somebody bet on the bay ♪
369
00:18:09,809 --> 00:18:12,770
I hate to say it, but I
think we have no chance
370
00:18:12,790 --> 00:18:13,745
of winning this tournament.
371
00:18:13,747 --> 00:18:15,488
Merlot's gonna know
I'm not the real Clef.
372
00:18:15,489 --> 00:18:16,748
Stop eating your hair!
373
00:18:16,750 --> 00:18:17,952
I can't!
374
00:18:17,953 --> 00:18:20,552
And now, the final club of the night,
375
00:18:20,554 --> 00:18:23,100
the 12-time defending
national champions,
376
00:18:23,517 --> 00:18:26,157
The Freddie Prinze Junior
Senior High School
377
00:18:26,159 --> 00:18:27,569
Martha Plimp-tones.
378
00:18:32,299 --> 00:18:36,969
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
379
00:18:39,373 --> 00:18:43,729
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
380
00:18:44,712 --> 00:18:49,507
♪ Happy birthday, happy birthday ♪
381
00:18:50,345 --> 00:18:55,787
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
382
00:18:58,400 --> 00:19:01,109
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
383
00:19:02,215 --> 00:19:05,174
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
384
00:19:06,251 --> 00:19:08,666
♪ Happy birthday ♪
385
00:19:08,668 --> 00:19:12,264
♪ Happy birthday ♪
386
00:19:12,265 --> 00:19:17,750
♪ Happy birthday to ♪
387
00:19:19,891 --> 00:19:23,214
♪ To you ♪
388
00:19:25,517 --> 00:19:27,641
Whoo! Nailed it!
389
00:19:47,677 --> 00:19:48,974
It's him. It's Merlot.
390
00:19:48,976 --> 00:19:50,440
He's getting away!
391
00:19:56,650 --> 00:19:57,842
Good!
392
00:20:02,656 --> 00:20:03,896
Thank you, A.J.
393
00:20:04,458 --> 00:20:06,334
Don't worry about it, Mr. Clef.
394
00:20:06,660 --> 00:20:09,727
Hey, it doesn't matter that we lost.
395
00:20:09,729 --> 00:20:11,863
- You should all feel really...
- Hang on, Mr. Clef.
396
00:20:11,865 --> 00:20:13,663
May I have your attention, please.
397
00:20:13,664 --> 00:20:16,852
The winning team has been disqualified.
398
00:20:16,853 --> 00:20:18,403
A [bleep] [bleep] has been found
399
00:20:18,405 --> 00:20:20,502
in one of the student's backpacks.
400
00:20:20,503 --> 00:20:22,522
First place goes to...
401
00:20:22,523 --> 00:20:25,477
Freddie Prinze Junior
Senior High Martha Plimp-tones!
402
00:20:25,479 --> 00:20:28,613
Good job, Peter.
403
00:20:28,615 --> 00:20:30,230
What are you talking about, Mr. Clef?
404
00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:32,235
You have us plant a [bleep] every year.
405
00:20:32,881 --> 00:20:34,413
Yes, I do, Peter.
406
00:20:34,414 --> 00:20:38,490
Yes, I do. Yeah!
407
00:20:40,197 --> 00:20:43,422
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