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1
00:00:01,447 --> 00:00:03,215
(Tennessee Ernie
Ford's "Shenandoah" playing)
2
00:00:05,318 --> 00:00:08,788
Oh, Shenandoah
3
00:00:08,821 --> 00:00:16,129
I hear you calling
4
00:00:16,162 --> 00:00:20,066
Hi-o
5
00:00:20,271 --> 00:00:24,200
You rolling river
6
00:00:26,072 --> 00:00:28,975
Oh, Shenandoah
7
00:00:29,008 --> 00:00:31,911
(patriotic music plays)
8
00:00:31,943 --> 00:00:33,745
Good morning, U.S.A.
9
00:00:33,778 --> 00:00:38,358
Synced and corrected by VitoSilans
- www.Addic7ed.com -
10
00:00:38,451 --> 00:00:43,389
She's a mighty river
11
00:00:43,421 --> 00:00:47,626
Hi-o
12
00:00:47,659 --> 00:00:53,799
You rolling river
13
00:00:53,833 --> 00:00:55,768
(thunder crashes)
14
00:00:55,800 --> 00:00:59,272
When she rolls down
15
00:00:59,305 --> 00:01:04,776
Her topsails shiver
16
00:01:04,809 --> 00:01:07,647
(rattling)
17
00:01:11,017 --> 00:01:14,420
(clanking)
18
00:01:14,452 --> 00:01:17,122
(thunder crashes)
19
00:01:31,037 --> 00:01:33,973
(wind howling)
20
00:01:43,249 --> 00:01:45,217
(thunder crashes)
21
00:01:45,250 --> 00:01:46,519
(glass shatters)
22
00:01:46,552 --> 00:01:47,720
(shing!)
23
00:01:47,752 --> 00:01:49,421
(rattling)
24
00:01:52,525 --> 00:01:53,826
(growls)
25
00:01:53,859 --> 00:01:56,029
Stan, don't! It's me... Principal Lewis!
26
00:01:56,062 --> 00:01:57,163
Where's my family?!
27
00:01:57,195 --> 00:01:58,244
I don't know where they are.
28
00:01:58,245 --> 00:02:01,634
I swear! To the old Gods and the new!
29
00:02:01,666 --> 00:02:04,070
(fire crackling)
30
00:02:04,103 --> 00:02:06,372
Fire's a bad idea.
31
00:02:06,404 --> 00:02:07,806
Relax, Stan.
32
00:02:07,840 --> 00:02:09,741
There's two of us, and
it's nice and warm.
33
00:02:09,774 --> 00:02:11,510
Your clothes are soaked through.
34
00:02:11,543 --> 00:02:12,845
You need to dry 'em out.
35
00:02:15,381 --> 00:02:17,583
(thunder crashes)
36
00:02:17,615 --> 00:02:20,553
Ooh, sexy.
37
00:02:22,536 --> 00:02:24,238
(thunder crashes)
38
00:02:24,272 --> 00:02:27,275
If you weren't here with your
family, where were you?
39
00:02:27,307 --> 00:02:29,743
You know, when the blast happened?
40
00:02:29,777 --> 00:02:32,481
On a mission. South America.
41
00:02:32,514 --> 00:02:34,482
(whistles) That's a long walk.
42
00:02:34,516 --> 00:02:36,952
You run into the Two Hundred out there?
43
00:02:36,985 --> 00:02:38,353
I hear they're brutal.
44
00:02:38,385 --> 00:02:41,856
No, but I've seen what they've done.
45
00:02:41,890 --> 00:02:45,293
Cool. Hey, you, uh,
seems like a lot of people
46
00:02:45,325 --> 00:02:48,028
are doing that thing where
they eat other people.
47
00:02:48,062 --> 00:02:49,831
(laughing) I mean, isn't that wild?
48
00:02:49,863 --> 00:02:51,765
But also maybe understandable, hmm?
49
00:02:51,799 --> 00:02:54,702
You, uh, done any of that?
50
00:02:54,736 --> 00:02:55,704
Nope.
51
00:02:55,736 --> 00:02:57,872
(laughs) Me neither!
52
00:02:57,905 --> 00:02:59,607
You passed my test!
53
00:02:59,641 --> 00:03:01,810
Now I feel like I can relax.
54
00:03:01,843 --> 00:03:03,045
Look out!
55
00:03:05,079 --> 00:03:07,682
I thought I saw a murderous road bandit,
56
00:03:07,714 --> 00:03:09,116
but it was just a moth.
57
00:03:09,149 --> 00:03:14,355
So tell me, what's
your feeling about tattoos?
58
00:03:14,389 --> 00:03:16,558
They should be covered in the workplace.
59
00:03:16,591 --> 00:03:17,958
Come on, Stan!
60
00:03:17,992 --> 00:03:20,161
And what's with that
huge-ass hummingbird?
61
00:03:20,194 --> 00:03:21,830
It's a falcon.
62
00:03:21,862 --> 00:03:24,331
It was the end of fishing season.
63
00:03:24,365 --> 00:03:26,367
And the sun.
64
00:03:26,401 --> 00:03:29,136
I can remember how
warm it felt on my face.
65
00:03:29,170 --> 00:03:31,540
Aah! My face is so hot!
66
00:03:31,573 --> 00:03:33,707
Why don't you wear a hat?
67
00:03:33,741 --> 00:03:35,142
Great idea, Hayley.
68
00:03:35,176 --> 00:03:37,845
Maybe don't look directly at the sun.
69
00:03:37,879 --> 00:03:40,181
Oh, you'd just love for
me to miss another eclipse.
70
00:03:40,213 --> 00:03:42,516
Why did you want to come
on this trip so bad again?
71
00:03:42,550 --> 00:03:45,654
Yeah, don't you have,
like, a moral objection
72
00:03:45,687 --> 00:03:47,355
to fishing or something?
73
00:03:47,387 --> 00:03:51,926
Oh, my God, can I stop myself?
74
00:03:53,728 --> 00:03:56,431
(falcon shrieks)
75
00:03:56,463 --> 00:03:58,567
This is nice.
76
00:03:58,599 --> 00:04:00,100
You know, I asked to come along
77
00:04:00,134 --> 00:04:02,536
because, well, it's
actually pretty rare that we...
78
00:04:02,569 --> 00:04:04,371
Talk quieter. You're scaring the fish.
79
00:04:04,404 --> 00:04:05,907
- It's just rare that...
- Quieter.
80
00:04:05,939 --> 00:04:07,374
- It's so rare...
- Too quiet!
81
00:04:07,408 --> 00:04:09,744
It sounds like you're conspiring
against the fish.
82
00:04:09,777 --> 00:04:11,246
You're making them paranoid!
83
00:04:11,278 --> 00:04:13,380
I was saying we never
spend any time together!
84
00:04:13,413 --> 00:04:14,949
Well, they're definitely gone now!
85
00:04:14,982 --> 00:04:16,384
First you eat all my
drivin' pickles on the way up,
86
00:04:16,417 --> 00:04:17,919
and now this!
87
00:04:17,951 --> 00:04:19,954
Wasn't there some sort of protest
you could have gone to
88
00:04:19,987 --> 00:04:21,387
instead of ruining my fishing trip?!
89
00:04:21,389 --> 00:04:22,624
A protest?
90
00:04:22,656 --> 00:04:24,925
How 'bout I do a protest right here?
91
00:04:24,958 --> 00:04:27,228
Live free!
92
00:04:27,261 --> 00:04:28,563
(falcon shrieks)
93
00:04:28,595 --> 00:04:31,298
Whoa. Well, you live free!
94
00:04:31,331 --> 00:04:33,067
(falcon shrieks)
95
00:04:33,100 --> 00:04:35,937
This one, though, definitely lives free.
96
00:04:35,970 --> 00:04:38,239
(falcon shrieks)
97
00:04:38,271 --> 00:04:39,581
WOMAN ON RADIO: Considered overbudget.
98
00:04:39,582 --> 00:04:42,576
Still, the LQL
insists that Langley Falls'
99
00:04:42,610 --> 00:04:45,413
very own Hadron Collider will
meet its opening deadline.
100
00:04:48,249 --> 00:04:50,418
Shut up, Klaus!
101
00:04:50,451 --> 00:04:52,987
(thunder crashes)
102
00:04:53,021 --> 00:04:57,092
All she wanted was to
spend a little time together.
103
00:04:57,124 --> 00:04:58,293
I was a fool.
104
00:04:58,326 --> 00:05:00,629
So you got the tattoo...
105
00:05:00,662 --> 00:05:02,163
As penance.
106
00:05:02,196 --> 00:05:04,933
And a reminder of what I'd
try to do differently,
107
00:05:04,966 --> 00:05:07,768
if I'm ever lucky
enough to see my family again.
108
00:05:07,802 --> 00:05:10,271
Fire's dying down.
109
00:05:10,304 --> 00:05:11,740
All this talk of fish.
110
00:05:11,773 --> 00:05:14,275
I never touched the
stuff before the blast,
111
00:05:14,307 --> 00:05:15,944
but now I'd kill for one.
112
00:05:15,977 --> 00:05:18,780
Man, I'd eat those worms if
they were here right now.
113
00:05:18,812 --> 00:05:20,014
(laughs)
114
00:05:20,047 --> 00:05:22,350
It's amazing the things you'll eat...
115
00:05:22,382 --> 00:05:24,418
If you get hungry enough.
116
00:05:24,451 --> 00:05:25,653
(thunder rumbles)
117
00:05:25,687 --> 00:05:27,489
I'm not a killer, Stan.
118
00:05:27,521 --> 00:05:29,256
I just want a slice.
119
00:05:29,290 --> 00:05:31,092
Hyah!
120
00:05:31,124 --> 00:05:32,494
(grunting)
121
00:05:32,526 --> 00:05:33,661
(glass shatters)
122
00:05:33,694 --> 00:05:34,862
LEWIS: Did I get ya?
123
00:05:34,896 --> 00:05:36,097
Ya gotta say something if I gotcha!
124
00:05:36,129 --> 00:05:39,033
Them's apocalypse rules!
125
00:05:39,067 --> 00:05:40,869
Stan, I thought that was you!
126
00:05:40,901 --> 00:05:42,202
Aah! Quiet, Greg!
127
00:05:42,235 --> 00:05:43,437
I was looking out my basement window...
128
00:05:43,470 --> 00:05:44,236
- Shh.
- and I said to myself,
129
00:05:44,237 --> 00:05:46,127
- 'cause that's who I talk to these days.
- You have to stop talking.
130
00:05:46,128 --> 00:05:48,483
- I said, "I think that's Stan Smith."
- Please shut up!
131
00:05:48,484 --> 00:05:49,878
I didn't think I'd ever see you again
132
00:05:49,910 --> 00:05:50,806
- after your family left.
- Be quiet!
133
00:05:50,807 --> 00:05:51,699
You have a lot of tattoos.
134
00:05:51,724 --> 00:05:53,448
Wait, what? Do you
know where my family went?
135
00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:55,382
Oh, yeah. But we
shouldn't talk out in the open
136
00:05:55,415 --> 00:05:57,384
because Principal Lewis
has been prowling around,
137
00:05:57,418 --> 00:05:59,588
and you would not believe what
he's been getting up to.
138
00:06:01,655 --> 00:06:03,324
All I wanted was a taste!
139
00:06:03,357 --> 00:06:05,393
We're cool now! So be cool!
140
00:06:07,528 --> 00:06:10,232
I can't look. Did he get me?
141
00:06:12,025 --> 00:06:13,828
Last I saw Francine and the kids,
142
00:06:13,861 --> 00:06:15,496
they were leaving for the New Haven.
143
00:06:15,529 --> 00:06:16,646
- In Connecticut?
- No.
144
00:06:16,647 --> 00:06:19,200
The New Haven is a safe zone
a hundred miles west of here.
145
00:06:19,232 --> 00:06:21,467
If they were in New Haven, Connecticut,
146
00:06:21,501 --> 00:06:23,537
they'd be dead already... Of boredom!
147
00:06:23,570 --> 00:06:25,139
J.K. I've never been there.
148
00:06:25,171 --> 00:06:26,506
I just think it's more
important now than ever
149
00:06:26,539 --> 00:06:27,974
to try to laugh.
150
00:06:28,008 --> 00:06:29,943
What's this tattoo
here? Looks like a doily.
151
00:06:29,977 --> 00:06:31,344
I don't want to talk about it.
152
00:06:31,378 --> 00:06:33,479
Okay. I'm feeling pretty weak.
153
00:06:33,513 --> 00:06:35,649
Maybe I'll just sleep a little.
154
00:06:35,681 --> 00:06:38,017
It was a particularly warm June.
155
00:06:38,051 --> 00:06:41,188
I can still recall the
light, sweet smell of Jasmine
156
00:06:41,220 --> 00:06:43,323
that lingered in the summer air.
157
00:06:43,356 --> 00:06:44,859
It's a thousand degrees!
158
00:06:44,892 --> 00:06:47,061
I'm sweating like a razorback hog!
159
00:06:47,094 --> 00:06:49,830
It's really cool that you
want to do this with me, Dad.
160
00:06:49,863 --> 00:06:51,966
- Why can't I stretch again?
- It's no good.
161
00:06:51,998 --> 00:06:54,301
You gotta keep those
muscles tight and ready.
162
00:06:54,333 --> 00:06:56,469
Don't let the tendons
get all loosey-goosey
163
00:06:56,503 --> 00:06:57,638
like some spaghetti man.
164
00:06:57,671 --> 00:07:00,174
Sons and fathers, on your marks!
165
00:07:00,207 --> 00:07:02,576
All right, Steve, as
you know, first prize
166
00:07:02,609 --> 00:07:05,044
is a refurbished
Hamilton Beach panini press.
167
00:07:05,078 --> 00:07:07,748
With a little
ciabatta and a little gabagool,
168
00:07:07,780 --> 00:07:10,817
I'll be mangia-ing my way
straight to mama-mia-ville.
169
00:07:10,851 --> 00:07:12,253
(gunshot)
170
00:07:14,955 --> 00:07:17,524
Speed it up!
171
00:07:17,556 --> 00:07:20,727
Aah! I think I sprained my ankle!
172
00:07:20,760 --> 00:07:22,028
It's just a twist!
173
00:07:22,061 --> 00:07:24,564
There was a rusty
nail in one of the tires,
174
00:07:24,597 --> 00:07:26,933
and now my jaw feels
like it's locking up!
175
00:07:26,967 --> 00:07:28,736
It's just tetanus!
176
00:07:31,705 --> 00:07:33,741
I'm really having a hard time
177
00:07:33,774 --> 00:07:35,743
putting weight on this foot!
178
00:07:35,775 --> 00:07:38,044
I don't think I can go on!
179
00:07:38,078 --> 00:07:39,746
And I don't think I can go another day
180
00:07:39,779 --> 00:07:41,114
eating sandwiches that
make my mouth cold!
181
00:07:41,147 --> 00:07:42,181
Now, pick it up!
182
00:07:42,215 --> 00:07:44,517
Aah!
183
00:07:44,551 --> 00:07:46,954
Oh, God, look at him flat on the ground,
184
00:07:46,986 --> 00:07:48,890
like a pressed hot sandwich.
185
00:07:50,890 --> 00:07:52,693
But why is the tattoo a doily?
186
00:07:52,726 --> 00:07:54,094
His leg was broken.
187
00:07:54,126 --> 00:07:55,461
He spent the whole
summer laid up on the couch,
188
00:07:55,494 --> 00:07:56,696
learning to knit.
189
00:07:56,729 --> 00:07:58,064
He made doilies,
190
00:07:58,097 --> 00:08:00,199
each one finer and lacier than the last.
191
00:08:00,232 --> 00:08:01,935
It was a nightmare.
192
00:08:01,969 --> 00:08:04,404
If I'd just carried him,
like I'm carrying you now...
193
00:08:04,438 --> 00:08:06,073
(rustling)
194
00:08:06,106 --> 00:08:07,707
Oh, cute, a rabbit.
195
00:08:07,741 --> 00:08:08,909
(bones crack)
196
00:08:08,941 --> 00:08:10,376
Oh, cute, a dinner.
197
00:08:10,409 --> 00:08:13,147
MAN: Damn. I thought it'd
be somethin' bigger.
198
00:08:13,179 --> 00:08:15,615
Or someone.
199
00:08:16,849 --> 00:08:19,219
Run for your lives!
200
00:08:19,251 --> 00:08:20,653
Is... is it the...
201
00:08:20,686 --> 00:08:23,289
It's the Two Hundred! They're coming!
202
00:08:23,323 --> 00:08:25,659
(footsteps stomping)
203
00:08:25,691 --> 00:08:27,460
- Go! Go!
- Get out of here!
204
00:08:27,493 --> 00:08:28,796
- (screaming)
- Get out of here!
205
00:08:28,829 --> 00:08:30,998
Stan, before the Two Hundred kills us,
206
00:08:31,031 --> 00:08:32,566
I want to tell you
207
00:08:32,599 --> 00:08:34,801
that you were often an
inconsiderate neighbor.
208
00:08:35,868 --> 00:08:39,138
(singsong voice) It's the Two Hundred!
209
00:08:39,171 --> 00:08:40,507
Clear out you'll!
210
00:08:40,540 --> 00:08:42,743
You'll run faster without your stu-uff.
211
00:08:42,776 --> 00:08:43,945
Roger!
212
00:08:46,233 --> 00:08:48,248
We have to get moving! The
Two Hundred are coming.
213
00:08:48,281 --> 00:08:49,750
Oh, no, there's no Two Hundred.
214
00:08:49,782 --> 00:08:52,353
Made 'em up. I just walk around,
215
00:08:52,386 --> 00:08:55,756
do a creepy "Waah waah, the
Two Hundred are coming!"
216
00:08:55,788 --> 00:08:57,423
They scatter. I get the stuff.
217
00:08:57,456 --> 00:08:59,960
It's mostly tin plates, a lot of spoons.
218
00:08:59,993 --> 00:09:02,695
I have so many spoons now,
I'm like the Little Mermaid.
219
00:09:02,729 --> 00:09:04,498
Oh, my God, Stan! How are you?
220
00:09:04,531 --> 00:09:06,266
And what's this on the back?
221
00:09:06,298 --> 00:09:07,800
- It's a Greg.
- Oh, right.
222
00:09:07,834 --> 00:09:10,436
Greg, you remember my... Uncle Roger?
223
00:09:10,469 --> 00:09:12,038
Stan, no. That's all done now.
224
00:09:12,071 --> 00:09:13,506
We live in a changed world.
225
00:09:13,540 --> 00:09:14,974
There's no need for characters.
226
00:09:15,008 --> 00:09:16,310
I'm just a man in rags.
227
00:09:16,343 --> 00:09:18,312
- Whose name is Clifton.
- Hi, Clifton!
228
00:09:18,344 --> 00:09:21,481
We're heading to the New
Haven to find Francine and the kids.
229
00:09:21,514 --> 00:09:23,216
Ooh! I haven't seen them in ages!
230
00:09:23,249 --> 00:09:24,684
Not since the blast.
231
00:09:24,718 --> 00:09:26,387
I'm coming with...
wait, is Steve gonna be there?
232
00:09:26,420 --> 00:09:28,822
I pray to God that he is.
233
00:09:28,854 --> 00:09:31,624
Guh. I still owe him 60 bucks.
234
00:09:31,657 --> 00:09:33,693
But, like, he's not gonna
care about that anymore, right?
235
00:09:33,726 --> 00:09:36,062
And maybe he's dead!
I am coming with you.
236
00:09:38,697 --> 00:09:41,467
I mean, sure, I could
pay Steve back in spoons,
237
00:09:41,500 --> 00:09:44,170
but nowadays one spoon
is worth more than $60.
238
00:09:44,204 --> 00:09:46,040
How would he even give me change?
239
00:09:46,072 --> 00:09:47,874
What, like a tiny, little spoon?
240
00:09:47,907 --> 00:09:49,743
Oh, my God, that sounds amazing!
241
00:09:49,776 --> 00:09:52,513
Let's rescue the tiny
spoon and the boy who has it!
242
00:09:54,748 --> 00:09:56,050
Let's hop on!
243
00:09:56,083 --> 00:09:58,485
These tracks go right to the New Haven.
244
00:09:58,517 --> 00:09:59,652
It's on fire.
245
00:09:59,686 --> 00:10:01,155
I guess we can hang around here
246
00:10:01,187 --> 00:10:02,922
and see if those wild dogs are friendly.
247
00:10:02,955 --> 00:10:05,892
(growling, barking)
248
00:10:12,364 --> 00:10:14,301
(grunts)
249
00:10:15,569 --> 00:10:17,538
(barking, growling resumes)
250
00:10:17,570 --> 00:10:19,672
We did this in the wrong order.
251
00:10:19,705 --> 00:10:22,408
Goodbye, Greg! No
hard feelings! (laughs)
252
00:10:22,441 --> 00:10:24,510
- Damn it.
- Don't beat yourself up.
253
00:10:24,543 --> 00:10:26,679
He was a liability slowing us down.
254
00:10:26,713 --> 00:10:28,615
(panting)
255
00:10:28,647 --> 00:10:32,286
Ah! You did it! Somehow.
256
00:10:32,319 --> 00:10:35,489
We're so... glad.
257
00:10:37,923 --> 00:10:39,292
Boy, that blast.
258
00:10:39,325 --> 00:10:41,762
I don't remember any of it.
259
00:10:41,795 --> 00:10:44,598
Was it a blast? Like the party kind?
260
00:10:44,631 --> 00:10:47,367
I-I just think it's more important now
261
00:10:47,399 --> 00:10:49,202
than ever to try to laugh.
262
00:10:49,235 --> 00:10:50,236
Hey, me too.
263
00:10:50,269 --> 00:10:52,371
Hey! I'm haunted by memories.
264
00:10:52,405 --> 00:10:56,777
So, Stan, we haven't
talked about all these tattoos.
265
00:10:56,810 --> 00:10:58,979
Could I ask... that we don't?
266
00:10:59,012 --> 00:11:01,315
Why the garbage can tattoo you ask?
267
00:11:01,348 --> 00:11:02,916
- No.
- It was a Thursday morning.
268
00:11:02,949 --> 00:11:04,585
Trash day.
269
00:11:04,618 --> 00:11:07,253
We were having a very hot
August, which was unusual.
270
00:11:07,287 --> 00:11:09,489
Unusual? August... August is... what?
271
00:11:09,522 --> 00:11:10,791
August is always hot.
272
00:11:10,824 --> 00:11:12,793
Francine was sleeping like an angel.
273
00:11:12,825 --> 00:11:14,327
(garbage truck beeping)
274
00:11:14,360 --> 00:11:15,729
Stan, did you remember
275
00:11:15,762 --> 00:11:17,731
to put the garbage cans out this time?
276
00:11:17,763 --> 00:11:19,066
I'm in the shower!
277
00:11:19,099 --> 00:11:20,301
And no-o-o!
278
00:11:26,138 --> 00:11:27,273
Come back!
279
00:11:27,306 --> 00:11:30,243
This is two weeks' worth of trash!
280
00:11:30,277 --> 00:11:33,214
My husband keeps
forgetting to take it to the curb!
281
00:11:38,484 --> 00:11:41,721
282
00:12:03,075 --> 00:12:04,210
Francine Smith.
283
00:12:04,243 --> 00:12:05,945
I just want to let you know
284
00:12:05,979 --> 00:12:09,016
that my husband watches
you from our upstairs window.
285
00:12:12,851 --> 00:12:13,987
(brakes screech)
286
00:12:20,426 --> 00:12:23,729
Why would anyone go out in this heat?
287
00:12:23,763 --> 00:12:27,066
If Francine is there at
the end of all this,
288
00:12:27,099 --> 00:12:28,868
I'll make it up to her.
289
00:12:28,902 --> 00:12:32,272
She'll never carry trash
again, unless I forget for real.
290
00:12:33,506 --> 00:12:35,743
Gimme food or the cripple gets it.
291
00:12:39,778 --> 00:12:41,181
We just left Greg!
292
00:12:41,214 --> 00:12:43,183
I could tell that guy was
coming for the spoons,
293
00:12:43,215 --> 00:12:45,152
and I've worked too
hard and too long to...
294
00:12:45,185 --> 00:12:47,320
Aw, crap, I left my spoons on the train!
295
00:12:47,354 --> 00:12:48,722
Greg's dead.
296
00:12:48,754 --> 00:12:50,657
As he should be. He was the weakest...
297
00:12:50,690 --> 00:12:51,680
Hey, guys!
298
00:12:51,681 --> 00:12:53,326
I managed to wrestle
away his knife and kill him.
299
00:12:53,359 --> 00:12:54,728
This isn't my blood.
300
00:12:54,761 --> 00:12:56,930
Could I finish what
I was saying, please?
301
00:12:56,963 --> 00:13:00,500
Weakest link. Greg is the weakest link.
302
00:13:00,532 --> 00:13:02,402
I got your spoons.
303
00:13:09,475 --> 00:13:10,777
No.
304
00:13:14,381 --> 00:13:16,583
(man grunts)
305
00:13:16,615 --> 00:13:18,085
What happened?
306
00:13:18,118 --> 00:13:19,753
It was a massacre.
307
00:13:19,786 --> 00:13:21,054
No survivors.
308
00:13:21,086 --> 00:13:22,556
My family was here.
309
00:13:22,589 --> 00:13:24,269
Is there any chance they
made it out alive?
310
00:13:24,291 --> 00:13:27,361
What did I just say? Ugh.
311
00:13:27,393 --> 00:13:29,028
Oh, no, Stan.
312
00:13:29,061 --> 00:13:30,563
This looks like Francine's locket.
313
00:13:32,831 --> 00:13:35,368
I'm... too late.
314
00:13:35,402 --> 00:13:37,037
But I'm right on time!
315
00:13:37,070 --> 00:13:38,238
Aaah!
316
00:13:38,271 --> 00:13:40,007
You big, black bitch!
317
00:13:43,982 --> 00:13:46,485
I bet you all think I'm
some kind of a monster,
318
00:13:46,517 --> 00:13:47,952
just 'cause I'm a cannibal now.
319
00:13:47,985 --> 00:13:50,421
That's what these delicious
jerks are saying.
320
00:13:50,454 --> 00:13:52,656
I think you're great. I'm nuts about ya.
321
00:13:52,690 --> 00:13:55,260
Stan, snap out of it! We
gotta get out of here.
322
00:13:55,292 --> 00:13:56,628
This guy is gonna eat us.
323
00:13:56,661 --> 00:14:00,232
See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya.
324
00:14:00,264 --> 00:14:03,467
(sighs) What?
325
00:14:03,501 --> 00:14:06,004
It was just a normal breakfast...
326
00:14:06,036 --> 00:14:08,473
Can't we just enjoy our
ride in the cage cart?
327
00:14:08,506 --> 00:14:09,975
Except I was about to leave
328
00:14:10,007 --> 00:14:11,810
on a perilous mission to South America
329
00:14:11,843 --> 00:14:13,745
that I knew I might not come back from.
330
00:14:13,777 --> 00:14:16,680
I wanted to tell them I
loved them, but I couldn't.
331
00:14:16,714 --> 00:14:18,016
'Cause I never do.
332
00:14:18,049 --> 00:14:20,619
They would've known something was wrong,
333
00:14:20,652 --> 00:14:22,186
and they would've worried.
334
00:14:22,219 --> 00:14:25,123
In that moment, I wanted to
say how much they meant to me.
335
00:14:25,156 --> 00:14:27,291
I wanted to say how much I regretted
336
00:14:27,325 --> 00:14:29,360
letting things get to this point,
337
00:14:29,393 --> 00:14:32,464
where them hearing "I love
you" from me would be weird.
338
00:14:32,497 --> 00:14:36,267
I wanted to say all those
things, but instead I said...
339
00:14:36,301 --> 00:14:39,570
(voice breaking) See
ya, wouldn't wanna be ya!
340
00:14:41,305 --> 00:14:43,841
Those are the last
words I ever said to them.
341
00:14:43,874 --> 00:14:46,043
I wasn't with them when the blast hit.
342
00:14:46,076 --> 00:14:48,046
I wasn't with them when they needed me.
343
00:14:48,079 --> 00:14:49,314
And now they're dead.
344
00:14:49,347 --> 00:14:51,116
And I want to be dead, too!
345
00:14:51,148 --> 00:14:53,284
Shoot me, Lewis! I'm beggin' ya!
346
00:14:53,318 --> 00:14:55,453
Stan, you're stressin' me out!
347
00:14:55,485 --> 00:14:59,257
Lucky for you, I'm a stress eater.
348
00:15:00,525 --> 00:15:02,827
(falcon shrieks)
349
00:15:02,859 --> 00:15:03,827
What the hell?!
350
00:15:03,860 --> 00:15:04,962
(falcon shrieks)
351
00:15:04,996 --> 00:15:06,298
- Aah!
- (horse neighs)
352
00:15:06,330 --> 00:15:09,567
(heroic music plays)
353
00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:12,503
Never bring a gun to a bird fight.
354
00:15:12,536 --> 00:15:14,873
Baby girl! You're alive!
355
00:15:14,906 --> 00:15:17,041
And you continued your
interest in falcons!
356
00:15:17,075 --> 00:15:19,176
I wouldn't come any closer.
357
00:15:19,209 --> 00:15:22,314
Oh, I appreciate the advice, but...
358
00:15:22,347 --> 00:15:24,516
- Net!
- Aah!
359
00:15:24,549 --> 00:15:27,352
Steve! Little Steve!
360
00:15:27,384 --> 00:15:29,353
That took me three months to knit!
361
00:15:29,387 --> 00:15:32,424
My kids are alive! And capable!
362
00:15:32,456 --> 00:15:34,258
And the cart's moving!
363
00:15:34,291 --> 00:15:38,028
LEWIS: So strong, I
can't get a tear going.
364
00:15:38,061 --> 00:15:39,496
(dramatic music plays)
365
00:15:39,530 --> 00:15:42,733
(Greg, Roger screaming)
366
00:15:44,068 --> 00:15:45,737
(grunting)
367
00:15:51,309 --> 00:15:54,346
It's too heavy, Dad!
368
00:15:54,378 --> 00:15:55,714
We can't stop it!
369
00:15:55,747 --> 00:15:59,217
It's okay, kids. You can let go.
370
00:15:59,249 --> 00:16:00,551
He doesn't speak for the cart!
371
00:16:00,584 --> 00:16:02,320
Take care of each other.
372
00:16:03,387 --> 00:16:04,372
(heroic music plays)
373
00:16:04,373 --> 00:16:05,357
Francine!
374
00:16:05,389 --> 00:16:08,692
Thanks to you always hiding
in the bathroom on trash day,
375
00:16:08,725 --> 00:16:12,429
I have a powerful set of
the muscles I'm using now.
376
00:16:12,463 --> 00:16:13,897
(grunting)
377
00:16:13,930 --> 00:16:15,934
(smooching)
378
00:16:15,967 --> 00:16:18,337
(strained) In a minute, Stan.
379
00:16:21,605 --> 00:16:24,041
I thought you were dead
when I found the locket.
380
00:16:24,075 --> 00:16:26,277
You never take it off. It's
too precious to you.
381
00:16:26,310 --> 00:16:27,711
I traded it for flip-flops.
382
00:16:27,744 --> 00:16:29,947
There were communal
showers at New Haven.
383
00:16:29,980 --> 00:16:31,282
Which is why we left New Haven.
384
00:16:31,315 --> 00:16:32,716
Couldn't do it.
385
00:16:32,749 --> 00:16:35,152
Now that we're
reunited, I want to say something
386
00:16:35,185 --> 00:16:37,288
I couldn't bring myself to say before.
387
00:16:37,321 --> 00:16:38,889
(inhales)
388
00:16:38,922 --> 00:16:40,958
I would like to see ya.
389
00:16:40,992 --> 00:16:42,794
And I would want to be ya.
390
00:16:42,826 --> 00:16:45,062
- Is that what you wanted to say?
- Don't rush me.
391
00:16:45,095 --> 00:16:46,897
There'll be plenty of
time for that later.
392
00:16:46,930 --> 00:16:49,166
(laughs) You all think you're safe?
393
00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:52,804
You think I'm alone? (whistles)
394
00:16:52,836 --> 00:16:56,273
(ominous music plays)
395
00:16:56,306 --> 00:16:59,410
(crowd chants)
396
00:16:59,444 --> 00:17:00,912
I love you guys so much.
397
00:17:00,945 --> 00:17:05,183
It's time we feast. Take them.
398
00:17:07,452 --> 00:17:09,487
It's the T-T-T-Two Hundred!
399
00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:11,656
Nonsense! I made the Two Hundred up.
400
00:17:11,688 --> 00:17:13,324
They don't exist. Whaaa?
401
00:17:15,893 --> 00:17:18,129
HAYLEY: Two hundred Rogers?
402
00:17:18,162 --> 00:17:19,764
ROGER: Two hundred mes?
403
00:17:19,797 --> 00:17:22,267
I don't underst...
oh, right. I remember.
404
00:17:22,300 --> 00:17:26,171
MAN: Welcome, Mrs.
Houlihan's sixth grade class,
405
00:17:26,204 --> 00:17:29,273
to our brand-new Hadron Collider.
406
00:17:29,307 --> 00:17:31,710
This is where we
shoot sub-atomic particles
407
00:17:31,743 --> 00:17:32,976
at fantastic speeds.
408
00:17:33,010 --> 00:17:34,479
And you kids are in luck,
409
00:17:34,512 --> 00:17:37,014
because today we're
shooting our first beam.
410
00:17:37,048 --> 00:17:38,717
First beam!
411
00:17:38,750 --> 00:17:40,819
Now, kids, if you look through here,
412
00:17:40,851 --> 00:17:43,521
you can actually see inside
the collider tunnel.
413
00:17:43,553 --> 00:17:45,823
- Can we go in there?
- Good Lord, no!
414
00:17:45,857 --> 00:17:47,858
That would be wildly dangerous.
415
00:17:47,891 --> 00:17:49,693
But he's in there.
416
00:17:49,726 --> 00:17:52,229
Sorry! I dropped my Ray-Bans.
417
00:17:52,262 --> 00:17:52,997
(metallic humming)
418
00:17:52,998 --> 00:17:53,732
What's that sound?
419
00:17:53,764 --> 00:17:56,301
The beam! It's starting!
420
00:17:56,333 --> 00:17:57,634
Ouch!
421
00:17:57,667 --> 00:17:59,637
Something really,
really small just hit me.
422
00:17:59,669 --> 00:18:01,238
Ouch! And again!
423
00:18:01,272 --> 00:18:02,741
Ow.
424
00:18:02,773 --> 00:18:04,007
Ow.
425
00:18:04,041 --> 00:18:06,410
Ow.
- Dear God.
426
00:18:06,444 --> 00:18:07,745
- Ow!
- (cries)
427
00:18:07,779 --> 00:18:09,547
Ow! Ow!
428
00:18:09,579 --> 00:18:12,817
Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow, ow-ow-ow-ow!
429
00:18:12,849 --> 00:18:14,151
I feel like I'm gonna fart.
430
00:18:14,185 --> 00:18:15,354
(farts)
431
00:18:17,053 --> 00:18:19,724
Come on, man. Just a little wind.
432
00:18:19,756 --> 00:18:21,859
Yeah!
433
00:18:26,964 --> 00:18:29,868
Oh! They were hitting me with bosons.
434
00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:32,403
Yeah, yeah, you can't do that.
435
00:18:32,436 --> 00:18:34,872
The particle impact caused
my personas to split
436
00:18:34,906 --> 00:18:36,941
and form separate physical entities,
437
00:18:36,974 --> 00:18:39,210
which released a
cataclysmic energy burst.
438
00:18:39,243 --> 00:18:40,378
I apologize, everyone.
439
00:18:40,410 --> 00:18:41,745
I'm the one who ended the world.
440
00:18:41,779 --> 00:18:43,348
Saved these babies, though.
441
00:18:43,380 --> 00:18:45,582
Aw, damn it, there's a crack in them.
442
00:18:45,616 --> 00:18:49,119
(mob screams)
443
00:18:49,153 --> 00:18:51,055
- Jeannie Gold!
- Tom Yabo!
444
00:18:51,088 --> 00:18:53,224
- Genevieve Vavance!
- Braff Zacklin!
445
00:18:53,256 --> 00:18:55,259
- Roy Rogers McFreely!
- Kevin Bacon!
446
00:18:55,292 --> 00:18:57,294
- Horse Renoir!
- Chex LeMeneux!
447
00:18:57,328 --> 00:18:59,062
- Clive Trotter!
- Miles Raymond!
448
00:18:59,096 --> 00:19:01,699
- The Phantom of the Telethon!
- Cleshawn Montegue!
449
00:19:01,732 --> 00:19:04,301
- Captain Francois Dubonet!
- Roland Chang!
450
00:19:04,335 --> 00:19:06,104
General Juanito Peque?o!
451
00:19:06,137 --> 00:19:08,807
Ricky Spanish!
452
00:19:08,839 --> 00:19:10,974
- Max Jets!
- Jenny Fromdabloc!
453
00:19:11,008 --> 00:19:13,478
- Frankie Carconni!
- Ruby Zeldastein!
454
00:19:13,511 --> 00:19:15,113
- Uncle Roger!
- Dr. Penguin!
455
00:19:15,146 --> 00:19:17,214
- Jojo Quinoa!
- Michael Corbin!
456
00:19:17,247 --> 00:19:19,483
- The Legman!
- Dan Ansome Handsome!
457
00:19:19,516 --> 00:19:21,885
- Arbuckle T. Boone!
- Lazlo Morphine!
458
00:19:21,918 --> 00:19:23,921
- Shalonda Dykes!
- Dom Fikowski!
459
00:19:23,954 --> 00:19:26,758
- Dimitri Garabedian!
- Morris Buttermaker!
460
00:19:26,791 --> 00:19:29,260
- Sidney Huffman!
- Reaganomics Lamborghini!
461
00:19:29,292 --> 00:19:31,228
- Martin Sugar!
- Burt Jarvis!
462
00:19:31,262 --> 00:19:33,231
- Cuss Mustard!
- Frank Slade!
463
00:19:33,263 --> 00:19:36,000
- Abigail Lemonparty!
- Twill Ongenbone!
464
00:19:36,032 --> 00:19:39,070
And who could forget Clip Clop!
465
00:19:39,102 --> 00:19:41,605
Are they... on our side?
466
00:19:41,638 --> 00:19:45,275
Kevi-i-i-i-i-n Ramage!
467
00:19:45,309 --> 00:19:46,578
Aah!
468
00:19:46,610 --> 00:19:48,111
They are not on our side.
469
00:19:48,145 --> 00:19:51,081
(screaming continues)
470
00:19:51,115 --> 00:19:55,353
I think we all knew it
would end this way.
471
00:19:55,386 --> 00:19:57,989
(growling)
472
00:19:58,022 --> 00:20:01,693
Did somebody order the fish?
473
00:20:01,725 --> 00:20:03,494
Whooooo!
474
00:20:09,032 --> 00:20:11,769
(birds chirping)
475
00:20:11,801 --> 00:20:14,371
And that's the end of the story.
476
00:20:14,405 --> 00:20:15,473
(children laughing)
477
00:20:15,505 --> 00:20:18,743
478
00:20:33,925 --> 00:20:35,726
Grandpa, how come you never talk about
479
00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:37,228
what happened in the battle?
480
00:20:37,261 --> 00:20:39,297
'Cause grandpa didn't have a great view
481
00:20:39,329 --> 00:20:40,531
from his hiding spot.
482
00:20:40,564 --> 00:20:42,299
But that's not what's important.
483
00:20:42,332 --> 00:20:44,301
What's important is that every day,
484
00:20:44,335 --> 00:20:48,006
we take a moment and
tell the people we care about...
485
00:20:48,039 --> 00:20:51,342
"Don't let Roger in a Hadron Collider!"
486
00:20:51,375 --> 00:20:55,380
I need to be watched very closely.
487
00:20:55,576 --> 00:20:59,170
Synced and corrected by VitoSilans
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488
00:20:59,220 --> 00:21:03,770
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