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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,447 --> 00:00:03,215 (Tennessee Ernie Ford's "Shenandoah" playing) 2 00:00:05,318 --> 00:00:08,788 Oh, Shenandoah 3 00:00:08,821 --> 00:00:16,129 I hear you calling 4 00:00:16,162 --> 00:00:20,066 Hi-o 5 00:00:20,271 --> 00:00:24,200 You rolling river 6 00:00:26,072 --> 00:00:28,975 Oh, Shenandoah 7 00:00:29,008 --> 00:00:31,911 (patriotic music plays) 8 00:00:31,943 --> 00:00:33,745 Good morning, U.S.A. 9 00:00:33,778 --> 00:00:38,358 Synced and corrected by VitoSilans - www.Addic7ed.com - 10 00:00:38,451 --> 00:00:43,389 She's a mighty river 11 00:00:43,421 --> 00:00:47,626 Hi-o 12 00:00:47,659 --> 00:00:53,799 You rolling river 13 00:00:53,833 --> 00:00:55,768 (thunder crashes) 14 00:00:55,800 --> 00:00:59,272 When she rolls down 15 00:00:59,305 --> 00:01:04,776 Her topsails shiver 16 00:01:04,809 --> 00:01:07,647 (rattling) 17 00:01:11,017 --> 00:01:14,420 (clanking) 18 00:01:14,452 --> 00:01:17,122 (thunder crashes) 19 00:01:31,037 --> 00:01:33,973 (wind howling) 20 00:01:43,249 --> 00:01:45,217 (thunder crashes) 21 00:01:45,250 --> 00:01:46,519 (glass shatters) 22 00:01:46,552 --> 00:01:47,720 (shing!) 23 00:01:47,752 --> 00:01:49,421 (rattling) 24 00:01:52,525 --> 00:01:53,826 (growls) 25 00:01:53,859 --> 00:01:56,029 Stan, don't! It's me... Principal Lewis! 26 00:01:56,062 --> 00:01:57,163 Where's my family?! 27 00:01:57,195 --> 00:01:58,244 I don't know where they are. 28 00:01:58,245 --> 00:02:01,634 I swear! To the old Gods and the new! 29 00:02:01,666 --> 00:02:04,070 (fire crackling) 30 00:02:04,103 --> 00:02:06,372 Fire's a bad idea. 31 00:02:06,404 --> 00:02:07,806 Relax, Stan. 32 00:02:07,840 --> 00:02:09,741 There's two of us, and it's nice and warm. 33 00:02:09,774 --> 00:02:11,510 Your clothes are soaked through. 34 00:02:11,543 --> 00:02:12,845 You need to dry 'em out. 35 00:02:15,381 --> 00:02:17,583 (thunder crashes) 36 00:02:17,615 --> 00:02:20,553 Ooh, sexy. 37 00:02:22,536 --> 00:02:24,238 (thunder crashes) 38 00:02:24,272 --> 00:02:27,275 If you weren't here with your family, where were you? 39 00:02:27,307 --> 00:02:29,743 You know, when the blast happened? 40 00:02:29,777 --> 00:02:32,481 On a mission. South America. 41 00:02:32,514 --> 00:02:34,482 (whistles) That's a long walk. 42 00:02:34,516 --> 00:02:36,952 You run into the Two Hundred out there? 43 00:02:36,985 --> 00:02:38,353 I hear they're brutal. 44 00:02:38,385 --> 00:02:41,856 No, but I've seen what they've done. 45 00:02:41,890 --> 00:02:45,293 Cool. Hey, you, uh, seems like a lot of people 46 00:02:45,325 --> 00:02:48,028 are doing that thing where they eat other people. 47 00:02:48,062 --> 00:02:49,831 (laughing) I mean, isn't that wild? 48 00:02:49,863 --> 00:02:51,765 But also maybe understandable, hmm? 49 00:02:51,799 --> 00:02:54,702 You, uh, done any of that? 50 00:02:54,736 --> 00:02:55,704 Nope. 51 00:02:55,736 --> 00:02:57,872 (laughs) Me neither! 52 00:02:57,905 --> 00:02:59,607 You passed my test! 53 00:02:59,641 --> 00:03:01,810 Now I feel like I can relax. 54 00:03:01,843 --> 00:03:03,045 Look out! 55 00:03:05,079 --> 00:03:07,682 I thought I saw a murderous road bandit, 56 00:03:07,714 --> 00:03:09,116 but it was just a moth. 57 00:03:09,149 --> 00:03:14,355 So tell me, what's your feeling about tattoos? 58 00:03:14,389 --> 00:03:16,558 They should be covered in the workplace. 59 00:03:16,591 --> 00:03:17,958 Come on, Stan! 60 00:03:17,992 --> 00:03:20,161 And what's with that huge-ass hummingbird? 61 00:03:20,194 --> 00:03:21,830 It's a falcon. 62 00:03:21,862 --> 00:03:24,331 It was the end of fishing season. 63 00:03:24,365 --> 00:03:26,367 And the sun. 64 00:03:26,401 --> 00:03:29,136 I can remember how warm it felt on my face. 65 00:03:29,170 --> 00:03:31,540 Aah! My face is so hot! 66 00:03:31,573 --> 00:03:33,707 Why don't you wear a hat? 67 00:03:33,741 --> 00:03:35,142 Great idea, Hayley. 68 00:03:35,176 --> 00:03:37,845 Maybe don't look directly at the sun. 69 00:03:37,879 --> 00:03:40,181 Oh, you'd just love for me to miss another eclipse. 70 00:03:40,213 --> 00:03:42,516 Why did you want to come on this trip so bad again? 71 00:03:42,550 --> 00:03:45,654 Yeah, don't you have, like, a moral objection 72 00:03:45,687 --> 00:03:47,355 to fishing or something? 73 00:03:47,387 --> 00:03:51,926 Oh, my God, can I stop myself? 74 00:03:53,728 --> 00:03:56,431 (falcon shrieks) 75 00:03:56,463 --> 00:03:58,567 This is nice. 76 00:03:58,599 --> 00:04:00,100 You know, I asked to come along 77 00:04:00,134 --> 00:04:02,536 because, well, it's actually pretty rare that we... 78 00:04:02,569 --> 00:04:04,371 Talk quieter. You're scaring the fish. 79 00:04:04,404 --> 00:04:05,907 - It's just rare that... - Quieter. 80 00:04:05,939 --> 00:04:07,374 - It's so rare... - Too quiet! 81 00:04:07,408 --> 00:04:09,744 It sounds like you're conspiring against the fish. 82 00:04:09,777 --> 00:04:11,246 You're making them paranoid! 83 00:04:11,278 --> 00:04:13,380 I was saying we never spend any time together! 84 00:04:13,413 --> 00:04:14,949 Well, they're definitely gone now! 85 00:04:14,982 --> 00:04:16,384 First you eat all my drivin' pickles on the way up, 86 00:04:16,417 --> 00:04:17,919 and now this! 87 00:04:17,951 --> 00:04:19,954 Wasn't there some sort of protest you could have gone to 88 00:04:19,987 --> 00:04:21,387 instead of ruining my fishing trip?! 89 00:04:21,389 --> 00:04:22,624 A protest? 90 00:04:22,656 --> 00:04:24,925 How 'bout I do a protest right here? 91 00:04:24,958 --> 00:04:27,228 Live free! 92 00:04:27,261 --> 00:04:28,563 (falcon shrieks) 93 00:04:28,595 --> 00:04:31,298 Whoa. Well, you live free! 94 00:04:31,331 --> 00:04:33,067 (falcon shrieks) 95 00:04:33,100 --> 00:04:35,937 This one, though, definitely lives free. 96 00:04:35,970 --> 00:04:38,239 (falcon shrieks) 97 00:04:38,271 --> 00:04:39,581 WOMAN ON RADIO: Considered overbudget. 98 00:04:39,582 --> 00:04:42,576 Still, the LQL insists that Langley Falls' 99 00:04:42,610 --> 00:04:45,413 very own Hadron Collider will meet its opening deadline. 100 00:04:48,249 --> 00:04:50,418 Shut up, Klaus! 101 00:04:50,451 --> 00:04:52,987 (thunder crashes) 102 00:04:53,021 --> 00:04:57,092 All she wanted was to spend a little time together. 103 00:04:57,124 --> 00:04:58,293 I was a fool. 104 00:04:58,326 --> 00:05:00,629 So you got the tattoo... 105 00:05:00,662 --> 00:05:02,163 As penance. 106 00:05:02,196 --> 00:05:04,933 And a reminder of what I'd try to do differently, 107 00:05:04,966 --> 00:05:07,768 if I'm ever lucky enough to see my family again. 108 00:05:07,802 --> 00:05:10,271 Fire's dying down. 109 00:05:10,304 --> 00:05:11,740 All this talk of fish. 110 00:05:11,773 --> 00:05:14,275 I never touched the stuff before the blast, 111 00:05:14,307 --> 00:05:15,944 but now I'd kill for one. 112 00:05:15,977 --> 00:05:18,780 Man, I'd eat those worms if they were here right now. 113 00:05:18,812 --> 00:05:20,014 (laughs) 114 00:05:20,047 --> 00:05:22,350 It's amazing the things you'll eat... 115 00:05:22,382 --> 00:05:24,418 If you get hungry enough. 116 00:05:24,451 --> 00:05:25,653 (thunder rumbles) 117 00:05:25,687 --> 00:05:27,489 I'm not a killer, Stan. 118 00:05:27,521 --> 00:05:29,256 I just want a slice. 119 00:05:29,290 --> 00:05:31,092 Hyah! 120 00:05:31,124 --> 00:05:32,494 (grunting) 121 00:05:32,526 --> 00:05:33,661 (glass shatters) 122 00:05:33,694 --> 00:05:34,862 LEWIS: Did I get ya? 123 00:05:34,896 --> 00:05:36,097 Ya gotta say something if I gotcha! 124 00:05:36,129 --> 00:05:39,033 Them's apocalypse rules! 125 00:05:39,067 --> 00:05:40,869 Stan, I thought that was you! 126 00:05:40,901 --> 00:05:42,202 Aah! Quiet, Greg! 127 00:05:42,235 --> 00:05:43,437 I was looking out my basement window... 128 00:05:43,470 --> 00:05:44,236 - Shh. - and I said to myself, 129 00:05:44,237 --> 00:05:46,127 - 'cause that's who I talk to these days. - You have to stop talking. 130 00:05:46,128 --> 00:05:48,483 - I said, "I think that's Stan Smith." - Please shut up! 131 00:05:48,484 --> 00:05:49,878 I didn't think I'd ever see you again 132 00:05:49,910 --> 00:05:50,806 - after your family left. - Be quiet! 133 00:05:50,807 --> 00:05:51,699 You have a lot of tattoos. 134 00:05:51,724 --> 00:05:53,448 Wait, what? Do you know where my family went? 135 00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:55,382 Oh, yeah. But we shouldn't talk out in the open 136 00:05:55,415 --> 00:05:57,384 because Principal Lewis has been prowling around, 137 00:05:57,418 --> 00:05:59,588 and you would not believe what he's been getting up to. 138 00:06:01,655 --> 00:06:03,324 All I wanted was a taste! 139 00:06:03,357 --> 00:06:05,393 We're cool now! So be cool! 140 00:06:07,528 --> 00:06:10,232 I can't look. Did he get me? 141 00:06:12,025 --> 00:06:13,828 Last I saw Francine and the kids, 142 00:06:13,861 --> 00:06:15,496 they were leaving for the New Haven. 143 00:06:15,529 --> 00:06:16,646 - In Connecticut? - No. 144 00:06:16,647 --> 00:06:19,200 The New Haven is a safe zone a hundred miles west of here. 145 00:06:19,232 --> 00:06:21,467 If they were in New Haven, Connecticut, 146 00:06:21,501 --> 00:06:23,537 they'd be dead already... Of boredom! 147 00:06:23,570 --> 00:06:25,139 J.K. I've never been there. 148 00:06:25,171 --> 00:06:26,506 I just think it's more important now than ever 149 00:06:26,539 --> 00:06:27,974 to try to laugh. 150 00:06:28,008 --> 00:06:29,943 What's this tattoo here? Looks like a doily. 151 00:06:29,977 --> 00:06:31,344 I don't want to talk about it. 152 00:06:31,378 --> 00:06:33,479 Okay. I'm feeling pretty weak. 153 00:06:33,513 --> 00:06:35,649 Maybe I'll just sleep a little. 154 00:06:35,681 --> 00:06:38,017 It was a particularly warm June. 155 00:06:38,051 --> 00:06:41,188 I can still recall the light, sweet smell of Jasmine 156 00:06:41,220 --> 00:06:43,323 that lingered in the summer air. 157 00:06:43,356 --> 00:06:44,859 It's a thousand degrees! 158 00:06:44,892 --> 00:06:47,061 I'm sweating like a razorback hog! 159 00:06:47,094 --> 00:06:49,830 It's really cool that you want to do this with me, Dad. 160 00:06:49,863 --> 00:06:51,966 - Why can't I stretch again? - It's no good. 161 00:06:51,998 --> 00:06:54,301 You gotta keep those muscles tight and ready. 162 00:06:54,333 --> 00:06:56,469 Don't let the tendons get all loosey-goosey 163 00:06:56,503 --> 00:06:57,638 like some spaghetti man. 164 00:06:57,671 --> 00:07:00,174 Sons and fathers, on your marks! 165 00:07:00,207 --> 00:07:02,576 All right, Steve, as you know, first prize 166 00:07:02,609 --> 00:07:05,044 is a refurbished Hamilton Beach panini press. 167 00:07:05,078 --> 00:07:07,748 With a little ciabatta and a little gabagool, 168 00:07:07,780 --> 00:07:10,817 I'll be mangia-ing my way straight to mama-mia-ville. 169 00:07:10,851 --> 00:07:12,253 (gunshot) 170 00:07:14,955 --> 00:07:17,524 Speed it up! 171 00:07:17,556 --> 00:07:20,727 Aah! I think I sprained my ankle! 172 00:07:20,760 --> 00:07:22,028 It's just a twist! 173 00:07:22,061 --> 00:07:24,564 There was a rusty nail in one of the tires, 174 00:07:24,597 --> 00:07:26,933 and now my jaw feels like it's locking up! 175 00:07:26,967 --> 00:07:28,736 It's just tetanus! 176 00:07:31,705 --> 00:07:33,741 I'm really having a hard time 177 00:07:33,774 --> 00:07:35,743 putting weight on this foot! 178 00:07:35,775 --> 00:07:38,044 I don't think I can go on! 179 00:07:38,078 --> 00:07:39,746 And I don't think I can go another day 180 00:07:39,779 --> 00:07:41,114 eating sandwiches that make my mouth cold! 181 00:07:41,147 --> 00:07:42,181 Now, pick it up! 182 00:07:42,215 --> 00:07:44,517 Aah! 183 00:07:44,551 --> 00:07:46,954 Oh, God, look at him flat on the ground, 184 00:07:46,986 --> 00:07:48,890 like a pressed hot sandwich. 185 00:07:50,890 --> 00:07:52,693 But why is the tattoo a doily? 186 00:07:52,726 --> 00:07:54,094 His leg was broken. 187 00:07:54,126 --> 00:07:55,461 He spent the whole summer laid up on the couch, 188 00:07:55,494 --> 00:07:56,696 learning to knit. 189 00:07:56,729 --> 00:07:58,064 He made doilies, 190 00:07:58,097 --> 00:08:00,199 each one finer and lacier than the last. 191 00:08:00,232 --> 00:08:01,935 It was a nightmare. 192 00:08:01,969 --> 00:08:04,404 If I'd just carried him, like I'm carrying you now... 193 00:08:04,438 --> 00:08:06,073 (rustling) 194 00:08:06,106 --> 00:08:07,707 Oh, cute, a rabbit. 195 00:08:07,741 --> 00:08:08,909 (bones crack) 196 00:08:08,941 --> 00:08:10,376 Oh, cute, a dinner. 197 00:08:10,409 --> 00:08:13,147 MAN: Damn. I thought it'd be somethin' bigger. 198 00:08:13,179 --> 00:08:15,615 Or someone. 199 00:08:16,849 --> 00:08:19,219 Run for your lives! 200 00:08:19,251 --> 00:08:20,653 Is... is it the... 201 00:08:20,686 --> 00:08:23,289 It's the Two Hundred! They're coming! 202 00:08:23,323 --> 00:08:25,659 (footsteps stomping) 203 00:08:25,691 --> 00:08:27,460 - Go! Go! - Get out of here! 204 00:08:27,493 --> 00:08:28,796 - (screaming) - Get out of here! 205 00:08:28,829 --> 00:08:30,998 Stan, before the Two Hundred kills us, 206 00:08:31,031 --> 00:08:32,566 I want to tell you 207 00:08:32,599 --> 00:08:34,801 that you were often an inconsiderate neighbor. 208 00:08:35,868 --> 00:08:39,138 (singsong voice) It's the Two Hundred! 209 00:08:39,171 --> 00:08:40,507 Clear out you'll! 210 00:08:40,540 --> 00:08:42,743 You'll run faster without your stu-uff. 211 00:08:42,776 --> 00:08:43,945 Roger! 212 00:08:46,233 --> 00:08:48,248 We have to get moving! The Two Hundred are coming. 213 00:08:48,281 --> 00:08:49,750 Oh, no, there's no Two Hundred. 214 00:08:49,782 --> 00:08:52,353 Made 'em up. I just walk around, 215 00:08:52,386 --> 00:08:55,756 do a creepy "Waah waah, the Two Hundred are coming!" 216 00:08:55,788 --> 00:08:57,423 They scatter. I get the stuff. 217 00:08:57,456 --> 00:08:59,960 It's mostly tin plates, a lot of spoons. 218 00:08:59,993 --> 00:09:02,695 I have so many spoons now, I'm like the Little Mermaid. 219 00:09:02,729 --> 00:09:04,498 Oh, my God, Stan! How are you? 220 00:09:04,531 --> 00:09:06,266 And what's this on the back? 221 00:09:06,298 --> 00:09:07,800 - It's a Greg. - Oh, right. 222 00:09:07,834 --> 00:09:10,436 Greg, you remember my... Uncle Roger? 223 00:09:10,469 --> 00:09:12,038 Stan, no. That's all done now. 224 00:09:12,071 --> 00:09:13,506 We live in a changed world. 225 00:09:13,540 --> 00:09:14,974 There's no need for characters. 226 00:09:15,008 --> 00:09:16,310 I'm just a man in rags. 227 00:09:16,343 --> 00:09:18,312 - Whose name is Clifton. - Hi, Clifton! 228 00:09:18,344 --> 00:09:21,481 We're heading to the New Haven to find Francine and the kids. 229 00:09:21,514 --> 00:09:23,216 Ooh! I haven't seen them in ages! 230 00:09:23,249 --> 00:09:24,684 Not since the blast. 231 00:09:24,718 --> 00:09:26,387 I'm coming with... wait, is Steve gonna be there? 232 00:09:26,420 --> 00:09:28,822 I pray to God that he is. 233 00:09:28,854 --> 00:09:31,624 Guh. I still owe him 60 bucks. 234 00:09:31,657 --> 00:09:33,693 But, like, he's not gonna care about that anymore, right? 235 00:09:33,726 --> 00:09:36,062 And maybe he's dead! I am coming with you. 236 00:09:38,697 --> 00:09:41,467 I mean, sure, I could pay Steve back in spoons, 237 00:09:41,500 --> 00:09:44,170 but nowadays one spoon is worth more than $60. 238 00:09:44,204 --> 00:09:46,040 How would he even give me change? 239 00:09:46,072 --> 00:09:47,874 What, like a tiny, little spoon? 240 00:09:47,907 --> 00:09:49,743 Oh, my God, that sounds amazing! 241 00:09:49,776 --> 00:09:52,513 Let's rescue the tiny spoon and the boy who has it! 242 00:09:54,748 --> 00:09:56,050 Let's hop on! 243 00:09:56,083 --> 00:09:58,485 These tracks go right to the New Haven. 244 00:09:58,517 --> 00:09:59,652 It's on fire. 245 00:09:59,686 --> 00:10:01,155 I guess we can hang around here 246 00:10:01,187 --> 00:10:02,922 and see if those wild dogs are friendly. 247 00:10:02,955 --> 00:10:05,892 (growling, barking) 248 00:10:12,364 --> 00:10:14,301 (grunts) 249 00:10:15,569 --> 00:10:17,538 (barking, growling resumes) 250 00:10:17,570 --> 00:10:19,672 We did this in the wrong order. 251 00:10:19,705 --> 00:10:22,408 Goodbye, Greg! No hard feelings! (laughs) 252 00:10:22,441 --> 00:10:24,510 - Damn it. - Don't beat yourself up. 253 00:10:24,543 --> 00:10:26,679 He was a liability slowing us down. 254 00:10:26,713 --> 00:10:28,615 (panting) 255 00:10:28,647 --> 00:10:32,286 Ah! You did it! Somehow. 256 00:10:32,319 --> 00:10:35,489 We're so... glad. 257 00:10:37,923 --> 00:10:39,292 Boy, that blast. 258 00:10:39,325 --> 00:10:41,762 I don't remember any of it. 259 00:10:41,795 --> 00:10:44,598 Was it a blast? Like the party kind? 260 00:10:44,631 --> 00:10:47,367 I-I just think it's more important now 261 00:10:47,399 --> 00:10:49,202 than ever to try to laugh. 262 00:10:49,235 --> 00:10:50,236 Hey, me too. 263 00:10:50,269 --> 00:10:52,371 Hey! I'm haunted by memories. 264 00:10:52,405 --> 00:10:56,777 So, Stan, we haven't talked about all these tattoos. 265 00:10:56,810 --> 00:10:58,979 Could I ask... that we don't? 266 00:10:59,012 --> 00:11:01,315 Why the garbage can tattoo you ask? 267 00:11:01,348 --> 00:11:02,916 - No. - It was a Thursday morning. 268 00:11:02,949 --> 00:11:04,585 Trash day. 269 00:11:04,618 --> 00:11:07,253 We were having a very hot August, which was unusual. 270 00:11:07,287 --> 00:11:09,489 Unusual? August... August is... what? 271 00:11:09,522 --> 00:11:10,791 August is always hot. 272 00:11:10,824 --> 00:11:12,793 Francine was sleeping like an angel. 273 00:11:12,825 --> 00:11:14,327 (garbage truck beeping) 274 00:11:14,360 --> 00:11:15,729 Stan, did you remember 275 00:11:15,762 --> 00:11:17,731 to put the garbage cans out this time? 276 00:11:17,763 --> 00:11:19,066 I'm in the shower! 277 00:11:19,099 --> 00:11:20,301 And no-o-o! 278 00:11:26,138 --> 00:11:27,273 Come back! 279 00:11:27,306 --> 00:11:30,243 This is two weeks' worth of trash! 280 00:11:30,277 --> 00:11:33,214 My husband keeps forgetting to take it to the curb! 281 00:11:38,484 --> 00:11:41,721 282 00:12:03,075 --> 00:12:04,210 Francine Smith. 283 00:12:04,243 --> 00:12:05,945 I just want to let you know 284 00:12:05,979 --> 00:12:09,016 that my husband watches you from our upstairs window. 285 00:12:12,851 --> 00:12:13,987 (brakes screech) 286 00:12:20,426 --> 00:12:23,729 Why would anyone go out in this heat? 287 00:12:23,763 --> 00:12:27,066 If Francine is there at the end of all this, 288 00:12:27,099 --> 00:12:28,868 I'll make it up to her. 289 00:12:28,902 --> 00:12:32,272 She'll never carry trash again, unless I forget for real. 290 00:12:33,506 --> 00:12:35,743 Gimme food or the cripple gets it. 291 00:12:39,778 --> 00:12:41,181 We just left Greg! 292 00:12:41,214 --> 00:12:43,183 I could tell that guy was coming for the spoons, 293 00:12:43,215 --> 00:12:45,152 and I've worked too hard and too long to... 294 00:12:45,185 --> 00:12:47,320 Aw, crap, I left my spoons on the train! 295 00:12:47,354 --> 00:12:48,722 Greg's dead. 296 00:12:48,754 --> 00:12:50,657 As he should be. He was the weakest... 297 00:12:50,690 --> 00:12:51,680 Hey, guys! 298 00:12:51,681 --> 00:12:53,326 I managed to wrestle away his knife and kill him. 299 00:12:53,359 --> 00:12:54,728 This isn't my blood. 300 00:12:54,761 --> 00:12:56,930 Could I finish what I was saying, please? 301 00:12:56,963 --> 00:13:00,500 Weakest link. Greg is the weakest link. 302 00:13:00,532 --> 00:13:02,402 I got your spoons. 303 00:13:09,475 --> 00:13:10,777 No. 304 00:13:14,381 --> 00:13:16,583 (man grunts) 305 00:13:16,615 --> 00:13:18,085 What happened? 306 00:13:18,118 --> 00:13:19,753 It was a massacre. 307 00:13:19,786 --> 00:13:21,054 No survivors. 308 00:13:21,086 --> 00:13:22,556 My family was here. 309 00:13:22,589 --> 00:13:24,269 Is there any chance they made it out alive? 310 00:13:24,291 --> 00:13:27,361 What did I just say? Ugh. 311 00:13:27,393 --> 00:13:29,028 Oh, no, Stan. 312 00:13:29,061 --> 00:13:30,563 This looks like Francine's locket. 313 00:13:32,831 --> 00:13:35,368 I'm... too late. 314 00:13:35,402 --> 00:13:37,037 But I'm right on time! 315 00:13:37,070 --> 00:13:38,238 Aaah! 316 00:13:38,271 --> 00:13:40,007 You big, black bitch! 317 00:13:43,982 --> 00:13:46,485 I bet you all think I'm some kind of a monster, 318 00:13:46,517 --> 00:13:47,952 just 'cause I'm a cannibal now. 319 00:13:47,985 --> 00:13:50,421 That's what these delicious jerks are saying. 320 00:13:50,454 --> 00:13:52,656 I think you're great. I'm nuts about ya. 321 00:13:52,690 --> 00:13:55,260 Stan, snap out of it! We gotta get out of here. 322 00:13:55,292 --> 00:13:56,628 This guy is gonna eat us. 323 00:13:56,661 --> 00:14:00,232 See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya. 324 00:14:00,264 --> 00:14:03,467 (sighs) What? 325 00:14:03,501 --> 00:14:06,004 It was just a normal breakfast... 326 00:14:06,036 --> 00:14:08,473 Can't we just enjoy our ride in the cage cart? 327 00:14:08,506 --> 00:14:09,975 Except I was about to leave 328 00:14:10,007 --> 00:14:11,810 on a perilous mission to South America 329 00:14:11,843 --> 00:14:13,745 that I knew I might not come back from. 330 00:14:13,777 --> 00:14:16,680 I wanted to tell them I loved them, but I couldn't. 331 00:14:16,714 --> 00:14:18,016 'Cause I never do. 332 00:14:18,049 --> 00:14:20,619 They would've known something was wrong, 333 00:14:20,652 --> 00:14:22,186 and they would've worried. 334 00:14:22,219 --> 00:14:25,123 In that moment, I wanted to say how much they meant to me. 335 00:14:25,156 --> 00:14:27,291 I wanted to say how much I regretted 336 00:14:27,325 --> 00:14:29,360 letting things get to this point, 337 00:14:29,393 --> 00:14:32,464 where them hearing "I love you" from me would be weird. 338 00:14:32,497 --> 00:14:36,267 I wanted to say all those things, but instead I said... 339 00:14:36,301 --> 00:14:39,570 (voice breaking) See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya! 340 00:14:41,305 --> 00:14:43,841 Those are the last words I ever said to them. 341 00:14:43,874 --> 00:14:46,043 I wasn't with them when the blast hit. 342 00:14:46,076 --> 00:14:48,046 I wasn't with them when they needed me. 343 00:14:48,079 --> 00:14:49,314 And now they're dead. 344 00:14:49,347 --> 00:14:51,116 And I want to be dead, too! 345 00:14:51,148 --> 00:14:53,284 Shoot me, Lewis! I'm beggin' ya! 346 00:14:53,318 --> 00:14:55,453 Stan, you're stressin' me out! 347 00:14:55,485 --> 00:14:59,257 Lucky for you, I'm a stress eater. 348 00:15:00,525 --> 00:15:02,827 (falcon shrieks) 349 00:15:02,859 --> 00:15:03,827 What the hell?! 350 00:15:03,860 --> 00:15:04,962 (falcon shrieks) 351 00:15:04,996 --> 00:15:06,298 - Aah! - (horse neighs) 352 00:15:06,330 --> 00:15:09,567 (heroic music plays) 353 00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:12,503 Never bring a gun to a bird fight. 354 00:15:12,536 --> 00:15:14,873 Baby girl! You're alive! 355 00:15:14,906 --> 00:15:17,041 And you continued your interest in falcons! 356 00:15:17,075 --> 00:15:19,176 I wouldn't come any closer. 357 00:15:19,209 --> 00:15:22,314 Oh, I appreciate the advice, but... 358 00:15:22,347 --> 00:15:24,516 - Net! - Aah! 359 00:15:24,549 --> 00:15:27,352 Steve! Little Steve! 360 00:15:27,384 --> 00:15:29,353 That took me three months to knit! 361 00:15:29,387 --> 00:15:32,424 My kids are alive! And capable! 362 00:15:32,456 --> 00:15:34,258 And the cart's moving! 363 00:15:34,291 --> 00:15:38,028 LEWIS: So strong, I can't get a tear going. 364 00:15:38,061 --> 00:15:39,496 (dramatic music plays) 365 00:15:39,530 --> 00:15:42,733 (Greg, Roger screaming) 366 00:15:44,068 --> 00:15:45,737 (grunting) 367 00:15:51,309 --> 00:15:54,346 It's too heavy, Dad! 368 00:15:54,378 --> 00:15:55,714 We can't stop it! 369 00:15:55,747 --> 00:15:59,217 It's okay, kids. You can let go. 370 00:15:59,249 --> 00:16:00,551 He doesn't speak for the cart! 371 00:16:00,584 --> 00:16:02,320 Take care of each other. 372 00:16:03,387 --> 00:16:04,372 (heroic music plays) 373 00:16:04,373 --> 00:16:05,357 Francine! 374 00:16:05,389 --> 00:16:08,692 Thanks to you always hiding in the bathroom on trash day, 375 00:16:08,725 --> 00:16:12,429 I have a powerful set of the muscles I'm using now. 376 00:16:12,463 --> 00:16:13,897 (grunting) 377 00:16:13,930 --> 00:16:15,934 (smooching) 378 00:16:15,967 --> 00:16:18,337 (strained) In a minute, Stan. 379 00:16:21,605 --> 00:16:24,041 I thought you were dead when I found the locket. 380 00:16:24,075 --> 00:16:26,277 You never take it off. It's too precious to you. 381 00:16:26,310 --> 00:16:27,711 I traded it for flip-flops. 382 00:16:27,744 --> 00:16:29,947 There were communal showers at New Haven. 383 00:16:29,980 --> 00:16:31,282 Which is why we left New Haven. 384 00:16:31,315 --> 00:16:32,716 Couldn't do it. 385 00:16:32,749 --> 00:16:35,152 Now that we're reunited, I want to say something 386 00:16:35,185 --> 00:16:37,288 I couldn't bring myself to say before. 387 00:16:37,321 --> 00:16:38,889 (inhales) 388 00:16:38,922 --> 00:16:40,958 I would like to see ya. 389 00:16:40,992 --> 00:16:42,794 And I would want to be ya. 390 00:16:42,826 --> 00:16:45,062 - Is that what you wanted to say? - Don't rush me. 391 00:16:45,095 --> 00:16:46,897 There'll be plenty of time for that later. 392 00:16:46,930 --> 00:16:49,166 (laughs) You all think you're safe? 393 00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:52,804 You think I'm alone? (whistles) 394 00:16:52,836 --> 00:16:56,273 (ominous music plays) 395 00:16:56,306 --> 00:16:59,410 (crowd chants) 396 00:16:59,444 --> 00:17:00,912 I love you guys so much. 397 00:17:00,945 --> 00:17:05,183 It's time we feast. Take them. 398 00:17:07,452 --> 00:17:09,487 It's the T-T-T-Two Hundred! 399 00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:11,656 Nonsense! I made the Two Hundred up. 400 00:17:11,688 --> 00:17:13,324 They don't exist. Whaaa? 401 00:17:15,893 --> 00:17:18,129 HAYLEY: Two hundred Rogers? 402 00:17:18,162 --> 00:17:19,764 ROGER: Two hundred mes? 403 00:17:19,797 --> 00:17:22,267 I don't underst... oh, right. I remember. 404 00:17:22,300 --> 00:17:26,171 MAN: Welcome, Mrs. Houlihan's sixth grade class, 405 00:17:26,204 --> 00:17:29,273 to our brand-new Hadron Collider. 406 00:17:29,307 --> 00:17:31,710 This is where we shoot sub-atomic particles 407 00:17:31,743 --> 00:17:32,976 at fantastic speeds. 408 00:17:33,010 --> 00:17:34,479 And you kids are in luck, 409 00:17:34,512 --> 00:17:37,014 because today we're shooting our first beam. 410 00:17:37,048 --> 00:17:38,717 First beam! 411 00:17:38,750 --> 00:17:40,819 Now, kids, if you look through here, 412 00:17:40,851 --> 00:17:43,521 you can actually see inside the collider tunnel. 413 00:17:43,553 --> 00:17:45,823 - Can we go in there? - Good Lord, no! 414 00:17:45,857 --> 00:17:47,858 That would be wildly dangerous. 415 00:17:47,891 --> 00:17:49,693 But he's in there. 416 00:17:49,726 --> 00:17:52,229 Sorry! I dropped my Ray-Bans. 417 00:17:52,262 --> 00:17:52,997 (metallic humming) 418 00:17:52,998 --> 00:17:53,732 What's that sound? 419 00:17:53,764 --> 00:17:56,301 The beam! It's starting! 420 00:17:56,333 --> 00:17:57,634 Ouch! 421 00:17:57,667 --> 00:17:59,637 Something really, really small just hit me. 422 00:17:59,669 --> 00:18:01,238 Ouch! And again! 423 00:18:01,272 --> 00:18:02,741 Ow. 424 00:18:02,773 --> 00:18:04,007 Ow. 425 00:18:04,041 --> 00:18:06,410 Ow. - Dear God. 426 00:18:06,444 --> 00:18:07,745 - Ow! - (cries) 427 00:18:07,779 --> 00:18:09,547 Ow! Ow! 428 00:18:09,579 --> 00:18:12,817 Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow, ow-ow-ow-ow! 429 00:18:12,849 --> 00:18:14,151 I feel like I'm gonna fart. 430 00:18:14,185 --> 00:18:15,354 (farts) 431 00:18:17,053 --> 00:18:19,724 Come on, man. Just a little wind. 432 00:18:19,756 --> 00:18:21,859 Yeah! 433 00:18:26,964 --> 00:18:29,868 Oh! They were hitting me with bosons. 434 00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:32,403 Yeah, yeah, you can't do that. 435 00:18:32,436 --> 00:18:34,872 The particle impact caused my personas to split 436 00:18:34,906 --> 00:18:36,941 and form separate physical entities, 437 00:18:36,974 --> 00:18:39,210 which released a cataclysmic energy burst. 438 00:18:39,243 --> 00:18:40,378 I apologize, everyone. 439 00:18:40,410 --> 00:18:41,745 I'm the one who ended the world. 440 00:18:41,779 --> 00:18:43,348 Saved these babies, though. 441 00:18:43,380 --> 00:18:45,582 Aw, damn it, there's a crack in them. 442 00:18:45,616 --> 00:18:49,119 (mob screams) 443 00:18:49,153 --> 00:18:51,055 - Jeannie Gold! - Tom Yabo! 444 00:18:51,088 --> 00:18:53,224 - Genevieve Vavance! - Braff Zacklin! 445 00:18:53,256 --> 00:18:55,259 - Roy Rogers McFreely! - Kevin Bacon! 446 00:18:55,292 --> 00:18:57,294 - Horse Renoir! - Chex LeMeneux! 447 00:18:57,328 --> 00:18:59,062 - Clive Trotter! - Miles Raymond! 448 00:18:59,096 --> 00:19:01,699 - The Phantom of the Telethon! - Cleshawn Montegue! 449 00:19:01,732 --> 00:19:04,301 - Captain Francois Dubonet! - Roland Chang! 450 00:19:04,335 --> 00:19:06,104 General Juanito Peque?o! 451 00:19:06,137 --> 00:19:08,807 Ricky Spanish! 452 00:19:08,839 --> 00:19:10,974 - Max Jets! - Jenny Fromdabloc! 453 00:19:11,008 --> 00:19:13,478 - Frankie Carconni! - Ruby Zeldastein! 454 00:19:13,511 --> 00:19:15,113 - Uncle Roger! - Dr. Penguin! 455 00:19:15,146 --> 00:19:17,214 - Jojo Quinoa! - Michael Corbin! 456 00:19:17,247 --> 00:19:19,483 - The Legman! - Dan Ansome Handsome! 457 00:19:19,516 --> 00:19:21,885 - Arbuckle T. Boone! - Lazlo Morphine! 458 00:19:21,918 --> 00:19:23,921 - Shalonda Dykes! - Dom Fikowski! 459 00:19:23,954 --> 00:19:26,758 - Dimitri Garabedian! - Morris Buttermaker! 460 00:19:26,791 --> 00:19:29,260 - Sidney Huffman! - Reaganomics Lamborghini! 461 00:19:29,292 --> 00:19:31,228 - Martin Sugar! - Burt Jarvis! 462 00:19:31,262 --> 00:19:33,231 - Cuss Mustard! - Frank Slade! 463 00:19:33,263 --> 00:19:36,000 - Abigail Lemonparty! - Twill Ongenbone! 464 00:19:36,032 --> 00:19:39,070 And who could forget Clip Clop! 465 00:19:39,102 --> 00:19:41,605 Are they... on our side? 466 00:19:41,638 --> 00:19:45,275 Kevi-i-i-i-i-n Ramage! 467 00:19:45,309 --> 00:19:46,578 Aah! 468 00:19:46,610 --> 00:19:48,111 They are not on our side. 469 00:19:48,145 --> 00:19:51,081 (screaming continues) 470 00:19:51,115 --> 00:19:55,353 I think we all knew it would end this way. 471 00:19:55,386 --> 00:19:57,989 (growling) 472 00:19:58,022 --> 00:20:01,693 Did somebody order the fish? 473 00:20:01,725 --> 00:20:03,494 Whooooo! 474 00:20:09,032 --> 00:20:11,769 (birds chirping) 475 00:20:11,801 --> 00:20:14,371 And that's the end of the story. 476 00:20:14,405 --> 00:20:15,473 (children laughing) 477 00:20:15,505 --> 00:20:18,743 478 00:20:33,925 --> 00:20:35,726 Grandpa, how come you never talk about 479 00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:37,228 what happened in the battle? 480 00:20:37,261 --> 00:20:39,297 'Cause grandpa didn't have a great view 481 00:20:39,329 --> 00:20:40,531 from his hiding spot. 482 00:20:40,564 --> 00:20:42,299 But that's not what's important. 483 00:20:42,332 --> 00:20:44,301 What's important is that every day, 484 00:20:44,335 --> 00:20:48,006 we take a moment and tell the people we care about... 485 00:20:48,039 --> 00:20:51,342 "Don't let Roger in a Hadron Collider!" 486 00:20:51,375 --> 00:20:55,380 I need to be watched very closely. 487 00:20:55,576 --> 00:20:59,170 Synced and corrected by VitoSilans - www.Addic7ed.com - 488 00:20:59,220 --> 00:21:03,770 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 34048

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