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And now, Dickie Dobbins,
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00:00:02,036 --> 00:00:03,786
with the Channel 3 Doppler 12,000
3
00:00:03,821 --> 00:00:06,238
Accu-Climate Weather-Plus forecast.
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00:00:06,290 --> 00:00:08,457
We got more record heat movin' in.
5
00:00:08,492 --> 00:00:10,776
My guess is it's from Eurasia,
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or even, possibly,
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the dark continent.
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That's where Miss Maisie comes from.
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She raised me.
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Jesus, Dickie. [Nervous chuckle]
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It's... it's important to remember
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old Dickie comes from a different era.
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Right, Terry?
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Oh, that's right.
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Sometimes I forget [Tearfully]
that he's gone.
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As the week-long beat wave continues...
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beat wave? What's a beat wave?
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As the heatwave... sorry... continues...
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[sobs]
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I just hate seeing Greg like this.
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Guy's been a mess ever since Terry
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dumped him and left
town to follow 311 on tour.
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You know what?
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Greg needs a new man
25
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and I'm gonna help him find one.
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Why?
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Because that's what you do for friends.
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At least, that's what I do for friends.
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In high school, my
nickname was Superfriend.
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Actually, it was Supermouth.
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Actually, it was Suckmachine.
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They called me Stan the Man.
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There was a girl in my class named Stan.
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[Band plays]
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Good morning, U.S.A.
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I got a feelin' that it's
gonna be a wonderful day
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The sun in the sky has
a smile on his face
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And he's shinin' a
salute to the American race
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Oh, boy, it's swell to say
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good morning, U.S.A.
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Aah!
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Good morning, U.S.A.
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[Tranquil tune plays]
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Just a little more pepper.
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Greg's coming up the driveway!
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Aah! Aaaaaaah!
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Now, remember.
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We're pumping him for information
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about his perfect guy,
50
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so we can find
someone to set him up with.
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It's actually the perfect temperature.
52
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- Can someone toss me a tecate?
- I'll tell you
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what my perfect man would
be, if I was gay.
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He'd have smooth, soft skin,
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long, shiny hair,
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a narrow waist and wide hips,
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forming the shape of an hourglass.
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Pouty lips, big doe eyes.
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A musical, high-pitched voice.
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Large, supple, breast-like
pectoral muscles.
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And huge balls.
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Something you can really grab onto.
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Stan!
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Oh, we're at dinner now.
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Thank you so much for having me.
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It's nice to get out of the house.
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Our pleasure.
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Now, what would you like for dessert,
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a bear claw or a twink-ie?
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Or maybe asian dessert?
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We haven't even eaten dinner yet.
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Okay, then, let's start with salad.
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Would you like your dressing on the top
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of your salad, or on the bottom?
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How would you put it on the bottom?
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Okay, what are you two up to?
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All right. The truth is,
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we were trying to figure out your type,
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so we could set you up.
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You just seem so
down, ever since Terry left.
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00:02:59,146 --> 00:03:01,647
Oh. That's sweet of you.
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I admit, I do miss
Terry, as a life partner,
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but, to be honest, I
miss him more, right now,
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as a work partner.
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I'm... I'm sorry. That... that probably
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didn't exactly warrant a spit-take.
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Kind of jumped the gun there. Go on.
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What makes a reporter,
journalistic integrity?
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Ha! It's the banter!
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00:03:17,431 --> 00:03:19,698
But you can't just plug
anybody into that other chair.
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You need chemistry and
chemistry is hard.
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Tell me about it.
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I burned down my
school in chemistry class.
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My school experience was
pretty flaming, too,
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if you know what I mean. [Chuckle]
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I bet you were quite the firestarter.
97
00:03:32,513 --> 00:03:33,679
Just call me young Drew Barrymore.
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You're not the only one who liked
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"riding in cars with boys."
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"Charlie's Angels"!
101
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"Charlie's angels 2"!
102
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"Home fries"!
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[Gasp] Francine,
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do you realize what we're doing?
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We're bantering. Crazy idea.
106
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Would you come fill
in in Terry's old seat?
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Just until we find a
permanent replacement.
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I don't know, Greg.
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I'm not really up on current events.
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I get most of my news off Snapple caps.
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Please, Francine.
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To help a friend.
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Sounds like a job for Suckmachine.
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How'd you know my high school nickname?
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Hey, check out what we
found in the basement.
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You walk in, without knocking,
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like a bunch of Duprees?
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It's my old dream phone game.
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It's so dumb. You try to figure out
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which cute boy has a crush on you.
121
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We thought it'd be
fun to play as a goof.
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Doesn't sound fun. Sounds lame.
123
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But I guess I'll do it,
124
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'cause I got nothing else to do.
125
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But it sounds
boring. I'm gonna be bored.
126
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I was right. This is boring.
127
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I'm bored. I think
I'm just about ready to...
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[gasp] Who is that?!
129
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- [breathily] Dylan.
- [piano flouris]
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- [ring]
- Hello?
131
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Your crush loves pizza.
132
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That could be Dylan.
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We like all the same things.
134
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Dylan likes the mall. I like the mall.
135
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Oh, my god. Is he the one?
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I once wished a wish
137
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One day I would meet ya
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My two scoops of kisses
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With a heart shaped like pizza
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What angel or genie
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Led me here to you?
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My telephone Romeo
143
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My dream come true
144
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My dream come true
145
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[moaning]
146
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My dream come true
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I'd sing you the second verse,
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but it gets pretty explicit.
149
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And remember, we are the
news of Langley Falls.
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Without us, people making
dinner won't know who's been murdered!
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152
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Good evening. I'm Greg Corbin.
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And I'm Francine Smith.
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Our top story tonight...
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17 alligators were set loose today
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when an oak tree fell on a
fence at the Langley Falls gator farm.
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Dickie, I bet you were around
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when that oak tree was planted.
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Huh?
160
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Planted?
161
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Dickie was around when the
oak tree was invented.
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[Chuckle] Looks like those gators
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aren't the only ones who bite.
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Chomp, chomp. [Chuckle]
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Her banter is beautiful.
166
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She's a revelatio-o-o-
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-n!
167
00:06:06,811 --> 00:06:08,094
Oh, she's good.
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Real good.
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Too good.
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This will end poorly.
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Raven!
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[Laughs]
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She's so raven.
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Real raven.
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Too raven.
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This will end
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poorly.
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Thank you.
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This is the first and last step
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to opening my dry cleaning business.
181
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So, we eat here for free?
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I never realized being the husband
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of a local news celeb would be so sweet!
184
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Ah, the perks are nice, but remember:
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I'm doing all this to help Greg.
186
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Complimentary order of
shrimp enchiladas. Mwah!
187
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The veins in the
shrimp are... how you say?
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Bursting with turds tonight.
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That's exactly how you say it, Miguel.
190
00:07:03,001 --> 00:07:04,968
One more call, and I'll zero in
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on the identity of
the landline strangler.
192
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I've crafted my own narrative
193
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to enhance my enjoyment of the game.
194
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Now, talk to me, you sicko!
195
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Who are you talking to? Is it Dylan?
196
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[groaning]
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Keep your paws off him, you slut!
198
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[ring]
199
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Your crush hates the mall.
200
00:07:20,052 --> 00:07:21,685
Hates the mall? It's not Dylan.
201
00:07:21,720 --> 00:07:23,303
- We're resetting.
- [Beep]
202
00:07:23,355 --> 00:07:25,355
Roger, you can't just
keep resetting the game
203
00:07:25,390 --> 00:07:27,023
every time, until you get Dylan.
204
00:07:27,059 --> 00:07:29,559
I don't see why you're so
hung up on Dylan, anyway.
205
00:07:29,561 --> 00:07:32,395
Tyler is clearly the
cutest of the dream boys.
206
00:07:32,431 --> 00:07:34,397
Hell, I'd even take Wayne over Dylan.
207
00:07:34,433 --> 00:07:36,032
You have six seconds
208
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to suck those filthy words back
209
00:07:37,486 --> 00:07:38,735
inside your rotten little mouth.
210
00:07:38,737 --> 00:07:39,986
Damn it, Roger.
211
00:07:40,038 --> 00:07:41,788
This isn't even a real person, okay?
212
00:07:41,824 --> 00:07:44,991
This is just some model who
posed for a picture in 1994.
213
00:07:45,043 --> 00:07:46,676
It's... it's insane to have a crush
214
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on a fake person on a fake phone.
215
00:07:48,747 --> 00:07:50,714
[sigh] You're right.
216
00:07:50,749 --> 00:07:51,982
The sane thing to do is
217
00:07:52,017 --> 00:07:54,017
track down the model
who posed for the card
218
00:07:54,052 --> 00:07:55,469
and go on a road trip to meet him.
219
00:07:55,504 --> 00:07:56,920
Exactly.
220
00:07:56,972 --> 00:07:59,923
I'm so excited
221
00:07:59,975 --> 00:08:02,392
And I just can't hide it
222
00:08:02,427 --> 00:08:03,927
No, no, no
223
00:08:03,979 --> 00:08:05,428
I'm about to lose control
224
00:08:05,481 --> 00:08:07,481
And I think I like it
225
00:08:08,767 --> 00:08:10,684
I know I like you, Dylan.
226
00:08:15,374 --> 00:08:16,690
[laughter]
227
00:08:16,742 --> 00:08:17,991
Of course, that was
back when it was okay
228
00:08:18,026 --> 00:08:20,026
to bring a crossbow on a bus.
229
00:08:20,078 --> 00:08:23,914
This just in... Channel
3's own Dickie Dobbins has...
230
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Died?
231
00:08:25,617 --> 00:08:26,883
Of a stroke.
232
00:08:26,919 --> 00:08:29,085
I didn't know you could die from that.
233
00:08:29,121 --> 00:08:31,021
I thought it just made you talk funny.
234
00:08:31,056 --> 00:08:33,456
Ah, I had a stroke, see?
235
00:08:33,492 --> 00:08:35,926
We always poke fun at Dickie, sure, but,
236
00:08:35,961 --> 00:08:37,360
I never thought we'd...
237
00:08:37,396 --> 00:08:40,997
[wheels squeaking]
238
00:08:41,033 --> 00:08:42,365
Lose him.
239
00:08:43,702 --> 00:08:44,801
Greg?
240
00:08:50,542 --> 00:08:52,108
Ladies and gentlemen,
241
00:08:52,144 --> 00:08:55,679
heaven just got one
hell of a weather angel.
242
00:08:55,714 --> 00:08:58,448
Or, if the
allegations that followed Dickie
243
00:08:58,483 --> 00:09:01,351
his entire life turn
out to have been true,
244
00:09:01,386 --> 00:09:05,355
hell just got one
angel of a weather demon.
245
00:09:05,390 --> 00:09:08,625
And... We're... Out.
246
00:09:08,660 --> 00:09:10,460
Thank you, Francine. That...
247
00:09:10,495 --> 00:09:11,728
that was wonderful.
248
00:09:11,763 --> 00:09:13,096
You just got in the zone.
249
00:09:13,131 --> 00:09:14,731
It was like there was no
one else at the desk.
250
00:09:14,766 --> 00:09:16,032
Oh! [laughs]
251
00:09:16,068 --> 00:09:17,734
Oh, that's ridiculous.
252
00:09:17,769 --> 00:09:21,037
Who ever heard of one
person anchoring the news?
253
00:09:21,073 --> 00:09:22,472
- [laughs]
- [nervous laugh]
254
00:09:22,507 --> 00:09:24,090
[laughs]
255
00:09:24,142 --> 00:09:25,675
But do ya think?
256
00:09:25,711 --> 00:09:29,512
257
00:09:29,514 --> 00:09:31,815
So I had the
sassiest waiter the other day.
258
00:09:31,850 --> 00:09:34,851
Oh, I'll tell you how I
feel about sassy waiters.
259
00:09:34,887 --> 00:09:36,903
"Homey don't play around wit' dat."
260
00:09:36,939 --> 00:09:38,989
Remember that, the black clown?
261
00:09:39,024 --> 00:09:40,624
Anyway.
262
00:09:40,659 --> 00:09:43,793
263
00:09:44,997 --> 00:09:47,664
If I was that hang-glide instructor,
264
00:09:47,699 --> 00:09:49,950
I'd have just cut that big boy loose.
265
00:09:50,002 --> 00:09:51,585
- Well, I...
- Oh, we're gonna get calls
266
00:09:51,620 --> 00:09:52,953
- on that one, aren't we?
- I-I once...
267
00:09:53,005 --> 00:09:55,538
Oh, behave, Francine.
268
00:09:55,540 --> 00:09:56,873
[laughs]
269
00:09:56,875 --> 00:10:00,093
270
00:10:03,098 --> 00:10:04,714
[music climbs]
271
00:10:07,769 --> 00:10:09,769
272
00:10:13,191 --> 00:10:15,609
Man, Francine really ain't letting you
273
00:10:15,644 --> 00:10:17,477
get a word in edgewise, is she?
274
00:10:17,529 --> 00:10:19,729
Oh, she's just doing her
part to be helpful.
275
00:10:19,781 --> 00:10:21,398
And you know what they say...
276
00:10:21,450 --> 00:10:22,699
"there's no I in team."
277
00:10:22,734 --> 00:10:24,534
No! I don't know that,
278
00:10:24,569 --> 00:10:25,809
'cause I never learned to read!
279
00:10:25,821 --> 00:10:27,737
[sobbing]
280
00:10:27,789 --> 00:10:29,205
[hissing]
281
00:10:29,241 --> 00:10:30,640
Aah-aah!
282
00:10:30,676 --> 00:10:32,008
Why do we have this room?!
283
00:10:34,713 --> 00:10:36,079
So they've got a killer new
284
00:10:36,131 --> 00:10:38,665
verde shrimp chimichanga down at Larry's.
285
00:10:38,717 --> 00:10:40,083
I was thinking maybe you could work in
286
00:10:40,085 --> 00:10:41,501
a plug on the show today.
287
00:10:41,553 --> 00:10:42,752
I'm not gonna compromise the news
288
00:10:42,804 --> 00:10:44,671
to make you a hero at Loco Larry's.
289
00:10:44,723 --> 00:10:46,589
This isn't about you.
290
00:10:46,591 --> 00:10:47,807
And it's not about me.
291
00:10:47,843 --> 00:10:49,225
It's about Greg.
292
00:10:49,261 --> 00:10:51,728
Now, I really need to
do my vocal warmups.
293
00:10:51,763 --> 00:10:54,064
Me me me me me
294
00:10:54,099 --> 00:10:55,765
Not Greg, not Greg, not Greg
295
00:10:55,817 --> 00:10:59,769
All that is his will be mine
296
00:10:59,771 --> 00:11:01,521
What's going on?
297
00:11:01,573 --> 00:11:02,856
We've finally got a new weather guy
298
00:11:02,908 --> 00:11:05,508
to replace Dickie... Memphis Stormfront.
299
00:11:05,544 --> 00:11:07,193
From Channel 6 in Raleigh-Durham.
300
00:11:07,245 --> 00:11:09,112
They say he gives great banter.
301
00:11:09,164 --> 00:11:11,114
[Southern accent] And that
he's got his eye on the anchor desk.
302
00:11:11,166 --> 00:11:12,999
He might be just the guy to be Greg's
303
00:11:13,035 --> 00:11:14,484
permanent co-anchor, fool!
304
00:11:14,519 --> 00:11:15,819
Why are you doing that?
305
00:11:15,854 --> 00:11:20,173
I love gossi-i-i-p!
306
00:11:20,208 --> 00:11:23,093
[laughter]
307
00:11:23,128 --> 00:11:26,796
308
00:11:26,848 --> 00:11:29,215
We have a new member
of the Channel 3 Team
309
00:11:29,267 --> 00:11:30,717
and we're about to find out
310
00:11:30,769 --> 00:11:33,186
"weather" he's any good at his job.
311
00:11:33,221 --> 00:11:35,138
A job, by the way,
312
00:11:35,140 --> 00:11:37,807
that can be done
better by a free phone app.
313
00:11:37,809 --> 00:11:39,109
Memphis.
314
00:11:39,144 --> 00:11:42,245
"Appy" to prove you
wrong, there, Francine.
315
00:11:42,280 --> 00:11:46,616
I'd also happily help you find
a phone made after 1998.
316
00:11:46,651 --> 00:11:48,051
Hey, no fair! That's just a backup
317
00:11:48,086 --> 00:11:49,753
until her beeper gets out of the shop.
318
00:11:49,788 --> 00:11:51,588
Ooh! Burn!
319
00:11:51,623 --> 00:11:53,757
Um, uh...
320
00:11:53,792 --> 00:11:54,824
I...
321
00:11:54,860 --> 00:11:56,659
Ch-chimichanga.
322
00:11:56,695 --> 00:11:58,294
Turning to the five-day forecast.
323
00:11:58,330 --> 00:12:00,630
I haven't felt this kind of
on-air chemistry since Terry.
324
00:12:00,665 --> 00:12:02,632
I think he's the one. Isn't this great?
325
00:12:02,667 --> 00:12:04,250
You'll be able to go back to your
326
00:12:04,302 --> 00:12:06,622
whatever you do with your days.
327
00:12:08,673 --> 00:12:09,839
My lokey!
328
00:12:09,841 --> 00:12:12,058
I want that weather punk gone!
329
00:12:12,094 --> 00:12:16,062
I just heard you got Memphis fired?
330
00:12:16,098 --> 00:12:18,314
He was dead weight, ratings poison.
331
00:12:18,350 --> 00:12:20,150
A real Ray Donovan.
332
00:12:20,185 --> 00:12:21,818
I was looking out for ya.
333
00:12:21,853 --> 00:12:24,187
Look, you've been
such a good friend to me,
334
00:12:24,189 --> 00:12:26,573
so, speaking as your good friend,
335
00:12:26,608 --> 00:12:28,224
I think your love of the limelight
336
00:12:28,260 --> 00:12:29,826
is clouding your judgment.
337
00:12:29,861 --> 00:12:31,795
Oh. Wow!
338
00:12:31,830 --> 00:12:34,064
Thank you for helping me realize
339
00:12:34,099 --> 00:12:36,299
- [crunch]
- What an ingrate you are.
340
00:12:36,334 --> 00:12:37,901
Francine, you're hurting me!
341
00:12:37,936 --> 00:12:39,285
I get the viewers.
342
00:12:39,337 --> 00:12:41,287
- I make the news fun.
- [crunch]
343
00:12:41,339 --> 00:12:43,790
And I do it all to help you!
344
00:12:43,842 --> 00:12:44,958
Well, you're gonna have a hard time
345
00:12:45,010 --> 00:12:47,544
helping me, because me quits!
346
00:12:47,596 --> 00:12:48,628
[sobbing]
347
00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:49,913
Wait, wait!
348
00:12:49,948 --> 00:12:51,281
Greg, come back!
349
00:12:51,316 --> 00:12:53,750
I didn't mean what I said.
350
00:12:53,785 --> 00:12:56,052
I've never seen "Ray Donovan."
351
00:12:56,088 --> 00:12:57,887
It could be a good show.
352
00:12:57,923 --> 00:13:00,356
I don't know. We don't get showtime.
353
00:13:00,392 --> 00:13:01,991
Everything else I said stands.
354
00:13:02,027 --> 00:13:03,726
[sobbing]
355
00:13:07,603 --> 00:13:10,371
Stupid, ungrateful Greg.
356
00:13:10,406 --> 00:13:13,240
I guess some friends
just don't want to be helped.
357
00:13:16,835 --> 00:13:18,370
_
358
00:13:18,557 --> 00:13:20,364
_
359
00:13:20,465 --> 00:13:21,928
_
360
00:13:27,192 --> 00:13:27,692
_
361
00:13:33,296 --> 00:13:35,162
Oh, my god!
362
00:13:35,197 --> 00:13:36,497
I was so busy,
363
00:13:36,532 --> 00:13:38,365
telling myself I was helping Greg,
364
00:13:38,401 --> 00:13:40,668
I couldn't see how
much I was hurting him.
365
00:13:40,703 --> 00:13:43,120
Oh, we need to make this right.
366
00:13:43,155 --> 00:13:45,823
Are you okay, losing your
Loco Larry's perks?
367
00:13:45,875 --> 00:13:47,808
Hey, helping Greg is more important
368
00:13:47,843 --> 00:13:49,627
than eating 16 burritos a day,
369
00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:50,794
every day of the week.
370
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:52,162
Also, my...
371
00:13:52,214 --> 00:13:53,380
my colon came out.
372
00:13:53,416 --> 00:13:54,415
What?
373
00:13:54,467 --> 00:13:55,749
M-my colon came out.
374
00:13:55,751 --> 00:13:57,751
I-I looked it up
online and it is reversible.
375
00:13:57,753 --> 00:13:59,720
Greg and Memphis are so clearly
376
00:13:59,755 --> 00:14:01,472
right for each other.
377
00:14:01,507 --> 00:14:04,174
We need to get 'em back together.
378
00:14:04,226 --> 00:14:05,676
And back on the air.
379
00:14:05,728 --> 00:14:07,311
Easier said than done.
380
00:14:07,346 --> 00:14:08,679
Mm-mm-mm.
381
00:14:08,731 --> 00:14:10,764
Greg's done with TV.
Runs a cake shop now.
382
00:14:10,766 --> 00:14:13,734
Another interesting
tidbit: Greg might not be
383
00:14:13,769 --> 00:14:16,770
the macho ladykiller we all think he is.
384
00:14:21,277 --> 00:14:22,776
Greg, please.
385
00:14:22,778 --> 00:14:25,779
You're the one who
belongs behind that desk, not me.
386
00:14:25,781 --> 00:14:27,781
I'm sorry. I'm not going back.
387
00:14:27,783 --> 00:14:29,750
Even if you did get Memphis back, too.
388
00:14:29,785 --> 00:14:31,452
And good luck with that.
389
00:14:31,454 --> 00:14:32,786
He's a stormchaser now.
390
00:14:32,788 --> 00:14:34,455
Said at least you can trust a tornado
391
00:14:34,457 --> 00:14:36,290
not to stab you in the back.
392
00:14:36,342 --> 00:14:38,292
Also, you know Ashley in HR?
393
00:14:38,344 --> 00:14:40,461
Got an abortion.
394
00:14:40,463 --> 00:14:42,930
What do we need a
weatherman for, anyway?
395
00:14:42,965 --> 00:14:44,598
You said it yourself.
396
00:14:44,633 --> 00:14:45,799
Unless, of course, there
was some sort of
397
00:14:45,801 --> 00:14:48,302
cataclysmic superstorm to cover.
398
00:14:48,304 --> 00:14:49,853
But, barring that, I would get rid
399
00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:51,388
of the snake room
400
00:14:51,440 --> 00:14:53,140
before I brought back Greg and Memphis.
401
00:14:53,192 --> 00:14:55,142
Ohh!
402
00:14:55,194 --> 00:14:57,361
[munching]
403
00:14:57,396 --> 00:14:59,313
I just know, deep down,
404
00:14:59,315 --> 00:15:01,315
Greg wants to come back to the news.
405
00:15:01,367 --> 00:15:03,784
If I could only get him and Memphis back
406
00:15:03,819 --> 00:15:06,453
on the air together for one broadcast.
407
00:15:06,489 --> 00:15:07,788
But we'd need to be able
408
00:15:07,823 --> 00:15:09,740
to control the weather, to do that.
409
00:15:09,792 --> 00:15:12,710
Easy as pie.
410
00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:14,745
- Stan, that's a cake.
- Oh, what would you say?
411
00:15:14,797 --> 00:15:15,963
"Piece of cake."
412
00:15:15,998 --> 00:15:17,331
Oh, yeah, it's really easy
413
00:15:17,383 --> 00:15:18,663
to come up with clever word play
414
00:15:18,667 --> 00:15:19,883
when you're not holding in your butthole
415
00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:21,502
with a piece of duct tape.
416
00:15:21,504 --> 00:15:23,170
[ring]
417
00:15:23,222 --> 00:15:25,756
Top-secret CIA weather-
control division. Dick speaking.
418
00:15:25,808 --> 00:15:27,424
I mean, pizza store!
419
00:15:27,476 --> 00:15:28,842
Oh, it's you, Stan.
420
00:15:28,894 --> 00:15:30,394
What kind of favor?
421
00:15:36,852 --> 00:15:37,935
[warble]
422
00:15:44,660 --> 00:15:45,943
[beep-buzz]
423
00:15:45,995 --> 00:15:47,828
[playing heavy metal]
424
00:15:47,863 --> 00:15:50,447
[thunder rumbles]
425
00:15:52,868 --> 00:15:56,587
[doorbell rings]
426
00:15:56,622 --> 00:15:57,871
Can I help you?
427
00:15:57,873 --> 00:15:59,923
You've aged beautifully.
428
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:01,291
- What?
- A drink? Sure!
429
00:16:01,343 --> 00:16:02,626
I'll take a sweet tea, no ice.
430
00:16:02,678 --> 00:16:04,378
You'll have one, too. Put this in yours.
431
00:16:04,380 --> 00:16:06,764
Come on in. Let's get
you out of those wet clothes.
432
00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:09,516
[wind blows]
433
00:16:09,552 --> 00:16:12,469
[thunder rumbles]
434
00:16:12,521 --> 00:16:14,388
Hello? I received an order
435
00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:15,973
to deliver a cake to this lamppost.
436
00:16:16,025 --> 00:16:17,608
[tires screech]
437
00:16:17,643 --> 00:16:19,443
I got a call saying my birth mother
438
00:16:19,478 --> 00:16:21,311
would meet me at this lamppost.
439
00:16:21,363 --> 00:16:22,446
Greg?
440
00:16:22,481 --> 00:16:24,648
- Memphis?
- [thunder rumbles]
441
00:16:24,700 --> 00:16:27,868
Oh, my god, a category-6
subpolar tornado-cane,
442
00:16:27,903 --> 00:16:29,870
the rarest storm in all of weather!
443
00:16:29,905 --> 00:16:32,406
Don't tell us. Tell the viewers.
444
00:16:32,408 --> 00:16:34,625
Our breaking story right now.
445
00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:38,745
A weather event that I
couldn't even begin to explain.
446
00:16:38,747 --> 00:16:40,330
Oh!
447
00:16:40,382 --> 00:16:42,299
So we're going to go live to Greg Corbin
448
00:16:42,334 --> 00:16:45,752
and Memphis Stormfront, in
the heart of the storm.
449
00:16:45,754 --> 00:16:47,754
Ohhh?!
450
00:16:47,807 --> 00:16:49,640
I told you, I'm
done with the news, Stan.
451
00:16:49,675 --> 00:16:51,008
I'm a cake man now!
452
00:16:51,060 --> 00:16:52,726
You're a what?
453
00:16:52,761 --> 00:16:53,844
[thunder rumbles]
454
00:16:53,896 --> 00:16:55,479
Goddamn it, I'm a news man!
455
00:16:55,514 --> 00:16:56,847
Greg Corbin, here,
456
00:16:56,899 --> 00:16:58,849
live in the midst of
the storm of the century,
457
00:16:58,901 --> 00:17:01,018
with our very own Memphis Stormfront.
458
00:17:01,070 --> 00:17:03,737
Greg, we are witnessing
a once-in-a-lifetime
459
00:17:03,772 --> 00:17:07,274
weather event
unleashing multiple funnel clouds.
460
00:17:07,326 --> 00:17:09,493
[wind roaring]
461
00:17:09,528 --> 00:17:10,694
[squeaking]
462
00:17:10,746 --> 00:17:12,779
The gators are gettin' spooked!
463
00:17:12,781 --> 00:17:15,332
Get 'em into the barn, and quick!
464
00:17:15,367 --> 00:17:16,583
Yah!
465
00:17:16,619 --> 00:17:18,368
It's too late!
466
00:17:18,420 --> 00:17:21,455
[growling]
467
00:17:21,507 --> 00:17:24,341
[lightning crackles]
468
00:17:24,376 --> 00:17:26,043
[alarm blares]
469
00:17:26,095 --> 00:17:27,711
Aaaaaaah!
470
00:17:27,763 --> 00:17:29,463
In a stunning development,
471
00:17:29,515 --> 00:17:33,300
we are now in the midst of
a full-fledged gator storm.
472
00:17:33,352 --> 00:17:34,468
[cheering]
473
00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:36,970
Whoo! Ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!
474
00:17:37,022 --> 00:17:38,939
- Aaaaaah!
- [growl]
475
00:17:38,974 --> 00:17:40,107
Ah! Ah.
476
00:17:40,142 --> 00:17:41,475
Aaaah!
477
00:17:41,527 --> 00:17:42,809
[gasping]
478
00:17:42,862 --> 00:17:43,977
Aaah!
479
00:17:43,979 --> 00:17:45,696
[whimpering]
480
00:17:45,731 --> 00:17:47,347
Ah.
481
00:17:47,383 --> 00:17:48,615
Phew.
482
00:17:48,651 --> 00:17:50,484
[hissing, rattling]
483
00:17:53,622 --> 00:17:55,038
By the way, great to be back on the air
484
00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:56,373
with you, Memphis.
485
00:17:56,408 --> 00:17:57,658
What have you been up to lately?
486
00:17:57,660 --> 00:17:59,960
Well, I finally caught "Step up. All in"
487
00:17:59,995 --> 00:18:02,663
- on cable this weekend.
- That mess?
488
00:18:02,665 --> 00:18:06,550
They should've called
it "Throw up. All over."
489
00:18:06,585 --> 00:18:08,835
They should've called it off.
490
00:18:08,837 --> 00:18:10,754
[laughs]
491
00:18:10,806 --> 00:18:14,675
Even in the belly of the
storm, they banter flawlessly.
492
00:18:14,677 --> 00:18:16,843
These are my stars!
493
00:18:20,399 --> 00:18:22,766
[gulping]
494
00:18:22,818 --> 00:18:26,403
Ahh!
495
00:18:26,438 --> 00:18:28,655
You know, you look familiar to me.
496
00:18:28,691 --> 00:18:31,525
I did do a bit of board-game modeling,
497
00:18:31,527 --> 00:18:32,943
back in my younger days.
498
00:18:32,995 --> 00:18:34,161
Oh, yeah, maybe that's it.
499
00:18:34,196 --> 00:18:35,436
I think I... I think I remember.
500
00:18:35,447 --> 00:18:36,997
Was it, um...?
501
00:18:37,032 --> 00:18:38,498
Oh, god, it's on the tip of my...
502
00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:40,617
I want to say mystery phone?
503
00:18:40,669 --> 00:18:41,868
- Dream phone.
- Dream phone, dream phone.
504
00:18:41,870 --> 00:18:43,036
Right. Now I remember. It's been...
505
00:18:43,088 --> 00:18:44,671
been such a long time.
506
00:18:44,707 --> 00:18:46,590
Is that the phone from the game
507
00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:47,958
that you're holding right now?
508
00:18:48,010 --> 00:18:49,843
So it is.
509
00:18:49,878 --> 00:18:51,511
Say, you know, I got the day free.
510
00:18:51,547 --> 00:18:52,947
What do you say we head to the mall
511
00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:55,048
and grab ourselves a slice of 'za?
512
00:18:55,100 --> 00:18:59,553
Ugh! I try to stay
away from malls, and pizza.
513
00:18:59,605 --> 00:19:01,054
I'm beginning to get
514
00:19:01,106 --> 00:19:03,056
the distinct impression, Dylan,
515
00:19:03,058 --> 00:19:05,025
that you are a liar.
516
00:19:05,060 --> 00:19:07,644
Well, I wouldn't exactly call it lying,
517
00:19:07,696 --> 00:19:08,779
but, for starters,
518
00:19:08,814 --> 00:19:11,148
my name's not actually Dylan.
519
00:19:14,036 --> 00:19:17,738
So, um, what happened back there?
520
00:19:17,740 --> 00:19:19,489
We went to the mall and had pizza,
521
00:19:19,541 --> 00:19:22,459
because that's what Dylan likes.
522
00:19:22,494 --> 00:19:24,711
Why is there blood on the dream phone?
523
00:19:24,747 --> 00:19:26,630
He likes malls and pizza.
524
00:19:26,665 --> 00:19:27,748
And me.
525
00:19:31,754 --> 00:19:33,637
Roger?
526
00:19:33,672 --> 00:19:35,088
Wh-what's in this jar?
527
00:19:35,090 --> 00:19:36,923
Dylan was being bad.
528
00:19:36,976 --> 00:19:39,142
And, now, we have the jar.
529
00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:41,845
I'm so excited
530
00:19:41,897 --> 00:19:45,232
And I just can't hide it
531
00:19:45,267 --> 00:19:50,020
[birds chirping]
532
00:19:50,072 --> 00:19:53,240
Well, it's
official, I'm out at Channel 3
533
00:19:53,275 --> 00:19:56,710
and you two are back in, thanks to us.
534
00:19:56,745 --> 00:19:57,878
What do you mean, thanks to you?
535
00:19:57,913 --> 00:19:59,513
We did all of this.
536
00:19:59,548 --> 00:20:00,947
Francine got you on the air
537
00:20:00,949 --> 00:20:03,750
and I abused my CIA
powers to make that superstorm.
538
00:20:03,786 --> 00:20:06,536
You made this storm?
539
00:20:06,588 --> 00:20:08,672
Lives were destroyed.
540
00:20:08,707 --> 00:20:11,692
But Greg's life was fixed.
541
00:20:11,727 --> 00:20:13,827
Now, you've got a new work partner
542
00:20:13,862 --> 00:20:16,596
and a new life partner.
543
00:20:16,632 --> 00:20:18,265
Now kiss, you two lovebirds.
544
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:19,566
And put some mustard on it.
545
00:20:22,071 --> 00:20:23,704
Aren't you straight?
546
00:20:23,739 --> 00:20:26,006
Yes, but I'm terrified of these people.
547
00:20:26,041 --> 00:20:28,175
They can control the weather!
548
00:20:28,210 --> 00:20:30,277
Mmm.
549
00:20:30,312 --> 00:20:33,647
- Mwah.
- Mmm.
550
00:20:33,649 --> 00:20:35,649
You did it, baby.
551
00:20:35,701 --> 00:20:36,867
We did it.
552
00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:38,535
Because we're helpers.
553
00:20:38,570 --> 00:20:40,070
It's just in our nature.
554
00:20:40,122 --> 00:20:42,438
We help.
555
00:20:42,674 --> 00:20:50,518
Synced and corrected by VitoSilans
- www.Addic7ed.com -
556
00:20:50,568 --> 00:20:55,118
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