Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,601 --> 00:00:07,737
What do people think of
when they think of Germany?
2
00:00:07,772 --> 00:00:10,806
All: Uh...
3
00:00:10,842 --> 00:00:11,900
The Holocau--
4
00:00:12,020 --> 00:00:14,696
Hazelnut omelets! Exactly!
5
00:00:14,813 --> 00:00:17,781
And the next batch is almost...
6
00:00:17,833 --> 00:00:19,846
Oh, god.
The Roomba heard that.
7
00:00:19,966 --> 00:00:21,054
Nobody move!
8
00:00:21,174 --> 00:00:26,540
[ Roomba whirs ]
9
00:00:26,592 --> 00:00:28,292
[ Melody plays ]
10
00:00:28,344 --> 00:00:29,760
[ Beep ]
11
00:00:29,795 --> 00:00:31,511
[ All sigh ]
12
00:00:31,547 --> 00:00:34,598
And none of us remember
buying that?
13
00:00:34,633 --> 00:00:37,034
So there's a new web program
called Facebook.
14
00:00:37,524 --> 00:00:40,091
It's the most efficient way
to wish people happy birthday.
15
00:00:40,127 --> 00:00:41,960
[ All chuckle ]
16
00:00:41,995 --> 00:00:43,328
What?
Why are you snickering?
17
00:00:43,363 --> 00:00:44,929
Dad, Facebook's, like,
18
00:00:44,965 --> 00:00:46,853
the oldest web site
in the world.
19
00:00:46,973 --> 00:00:48,761
Francine,
you missed a couple hazelnuts.
20
00:00:48,881 --> 00:00:49,838
Some went under the fridge.
21
00:00:49,958 --> 00:00:51,997
I know some went under
the fridge, Klaus.
22
00:00:52,098 --> 00:00:54,299
That's why I'm sweeping
under the fridge.
23
00:00:54,334 --> 00:00:55,533
I'd like to join Facebook,
24
00:00:55,568 --> 00:00:57,534
but my work computer
won't let me.
25
00:00:57,654 --> 00:00:59,254
I hit the "enter" key
as hard as I could,
26
00:00:59,289 --> 00:01:00,688
but even that didn't work.
27
00:01:00,724 --> 00:01:02,190
Can you have a look
at my "enter" key?
28
00:01:02,225 --> 00:01:03,591
Dad, your keyboard's fine.
29
00:01:03,627 --> 00:01:05,126
I mean,
you broke your "enter" key,
30
00:01:05,161 --> 00:01:07,128
but that's not the problem.
There's probably a firewall.
31
00:01:07,163 --> 00:01:08,997
Just download Ultrasurf,
unzip the software,
32
00:01:09,032 --> 00:01:10,732
put the executable
on a flash drive --
33
00:01:10,767 --> 00:01:12,534
Wait, let's back up a bit.
34
00:01:12,586 --> 00:01:14,802
Where does my computer go
when I'm asleep?
35
00:01:14,838 --> 00:01:16,538
Okay, not to be a nag,
36
00:01:16,540 --> 00:01:18,790
but I think if you just sweep
with less of a wide motion
37
00:01:18,842 --> 00:01:20,124
and more of a --
38
00:01:20,176 --> 00:01:21,843
You know what, Klaus?
39
00:01:21,878 --> 00:01:24,546
If you want your precious
hazelnuts, you sweep 'em up.
40
00:01:24,548 --> 00:01:27,682
Ew, we all heard that.
41
00:01:27,717 --> 00:01:30,084
Tense.
42
00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:32,153
Dad, why don't you just
bring me to work with you?
43
00:01:32,188 --> 00:01:33,938
I'll set your computer up.
44
00:01:33,974 --> 00:01:36,791
Hmm. You hanging around
all my badass colleagues.
45
00:01:36,826 --> 00:01:38,226
I don't know.
46
00:01:38,261 --> 00:01:40,430
Dad, I won't embarrass you.
47
00:01:40,550 --> 00:01:42,764
You know what?
Maybe it'll be good for you.
48
00:01:42,799 --> 00:01:44,282
Yes!
You'll wear pants.
49
00:01:44,317 --> 00:01:46,431
I have the perfect pair
of khakis from...
50
00:01:46,551 --> 00:01:48,870
Petite Sophisticate.
51
00:01:48,905 --> 00:01:50,955
[ Sighs ]
Of course you do.
52
00:01:51,575 --> 00:01:54,542
Awesome! I get to miss
the rope climb in gym class.
53
00:01:54,662 --> 00:01:57,295
Not only are my arms too weak
to pull myself up,
54
00:01:57,330 --> 00:01:59,080
but I don't like the feeling
the rope makes
55
00:01:59,082 --> 00:02:00,582
as it rubs
against my genitals...
56
00:02:00,584 --> 00:02:02,684
until I do like it.
57
00:02:02,719 --> 00:02:06,921
Steve, wait!
You haven't tried --
58
00:02:06,923 --> 00:02:12,010
Okay, Klaus, I will try
one of your hazel whatevers.
59
00:02:12,062 --> 00:02:15,063
Mmm! This is really good.
What's in it?
60
00:02:15,098 --> 00:02:17,732
Hazelnut, butter, eggs,
veal, milk.
61
00:02:17,801 --> 00:02:19,167
[ Spits ]
I use whole milk. Some people --
62
00:02:19,202 --> 00:02:21,769
Wait. Veal?!
There's meat in this?
63
00:02:21,771 --> 00:02:24,656
For thickening.
You know what they say --
64
00:02:24,691 --> 00:02:26,074
you can't make
65
00:02:26,109 --> 00:02:29,010
hazelnussomeletten
without kinderkuhfleische.
66
00:02:29,045 --> 00:02:32,146
Klaus! I haven't meat
in over a year!
67
00:02:32,182 --> 00:02:33,998
[ Gagging, coughing ]
68
00:02:34,034 --> 00:02:37,018
How do you like yours, Roger?
69
00:02:37,053 --> 00:02:39,687
[ Roomba whirring ]
Ah, it's great, it's great.
70
00:02:39,723 --> 00:02:42,090
71
00:02:42,125 --> 00:02:44,842
Good morning, U.S.A.
72
00:02:44,878 --> 00:02:48,129
I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day
73
00:02:48,181 --> 00:02:51,215
the sun in the sky
has a smile on his face
74
00:02:51,267 --> 00:02:55,687
and he's shinin' a salute
to the American race
75
00:02:57,440 --> 00:03:00,642
oh, boy, it's swell to say
76
00:03:00,644 --> 00:03:02,977
Good --
good morning, U.S.A.
77
00:03:03,029 --> 00:03:11,744
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
78
00:03:12,122 --> 00:03:13,688
Wow, this is cool.
79
00:03:13,723 --> 00:03:16,190
Dad, you think I could be
in the C.I.A. someday?
80
00:03:16,226 --> 00:03:17,992
I don't know, son.
81
00:03:17,994 --> 00:03:19,711
The C.I.A. is all about guys
who can do stuff like this.
82
00:03:19,746 --> 00:03:20,995
[ Gasps, groans ]
83
00:03:21,047 --> 00:03:22,797
Whoa, that was awesome!
84
00:03:22,832 --> 00:03:25,333
[ Chuckles ]
Jim is an old friend.
85
00:03:25,335 --> 00:03:28,086
[ Raspy voice ] It's Carl.
[ Gasps ]
86
00:03:30,423 --> 00:03:34,008
You see what those jackoffs did?
87
00:03:34,060 --> 00:03:35,343
They've blocked my view!
88
00:03:35,345 --> 00:03:37,228
It's a strong word,
but it's appropriate.
89
00:03:37,263 --> 00:03:38,846
Those jackoffs!
90
00:03:38,848 --> 00:03:40,348
Who?
Who are the jackoffs?
91
00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:44,919
Our number one rival --
the National Security Agency.
92
00:03:44,954 --> 00:03:46,788
Spy on this, nerds!
93
00:03:46,823 --> 00:03:48,423
[ Window squeaks ]
94
00:03:48,458 --> 00:03:49,977
Aren't you guys
on the same team?
95
00:03:50,097 --> 00:03:52,351
Steve, let me show you
an informative film.
96
00:03:52,471 --> 00:03:54,295
Man:
The C.I.A. began as
97
00:03:54,330 --> 00:03:56,030
the office
of strategic services.
98
00:03:56,066 --> 00:03:57,799
Stan: [ Lowered voice ]
Recognize the voice?
99
00:03:57,834 --> 00:03:59,250
...founded by
"Wild Bill" Donovan
100
00:03:59,285 --> 00:04:01,753
whose courage
and overall badass-ery
101
00:04:01,788 --> 00:04:03,087
helped win World War II.
102
00:04:03,123 --> 00:04:06,374
Have you figured it out?
It's a famous actor.
103
00:04:06,426 --> 00:04:08,176
"Sling Blade"?
104
00:04:08,211 --> 00:04:10,795
He was everything
a C.I.A. agent should be --
105
00:04:10,847 --> 00:04:13,181
a brave,
big-chinned tough guy.
106
00:04:13,216 --> 00:04:14,882
Steve:
Oh, it's Billy Bob Thornton.
107
00:04:14,934 --> 00:04:16,267
Stan: Yeah! Couple of
the guys got to meet him.
108
00:04:16,302 --> 00:04:17,885
They said he was pretty cool.
109
00:04:17,937 --> 00:04:20,271
And though
we've had our failures...
110
00:04:22,776 --> 00:04:24,942
...we've won
our nation's trust,
111
00:04:24,978 --> 00:04:26,894
and we kept
that bastard Fidel Castro
112
00:04:26,946 --> 00:04:28,946
from getting his hands
on America.
113
00:04:28,982 --> 00:04:31,733
Then someone decided
the American taxpayers
114
00:04:31,735 --> 00:04:34,202
should foot the bill
for more government,
115
00:04:34,237 --> 00:04:37,238
and the National Security Agency was born.
116
00:04:37,290 --> 00:04:40,293
They secretly monitor
all kinds of communication,
117
00:04:40,413 --> 00:04:44,045
including the phone calls
of American citizens.
118
00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:45,963
We fight over how much
of the federal budget
119
00:04:45,999 --> 00:04:47,498
we should each get.
120
00:04:47,550 --> 00:04:50,885
Last year, those jackoffs
cost us a ping pong table.
121
00:04:50,920 --> 00:04:53,254
Now our game room
only has four games.
122
00:04:53,256 --> 00:04:55,840
When I grow up, I wanna work
here with you, dad.
123
00:04:55,892 --> 00:04:57,809
[ Scoffs ] Not if you're
sleeping on the double bank.
124
00:04:57,844 --> 00:05:02,263
All right. 1 to 9.
125
00:05:05,168 --> 00:05:06,634
[ Sniffles ] Sorry, toilet.
126
00:05:06,670 --> 00:05:09,671
I know you've been a vegetarian
as long as I have.
127
00:05:09,706 --> 00:05:11,522
Oh, enough.
[ Toilet flushes ]
128
00:05:11,575 --> 00:05:14,909
Be honest. It was delicious
coming up, wasn't it, Hayley?
129
00:05:14,945 --> 00:05:18,413
What? No! I --
I'm a committed vegetarian.
130
00:05:18,448 --> 00:05:20,448
Wasn't it, Hayley?
131
00:05:20,450 --> 00:05:23,151
Fine, fine!
It was delicious!
132
00:05:23,186 --> 00:05:25,353
Listen, it's great that
you're a vegetarian.
133
00:05:25,388 --> 00:05:26,788
But you know that movie
"The Purge"?
134
00:05:26,866 --> 00:05:28,656
Is that the movie where
those girls go shopping?
135
00:05:28,692 --> 00:05:30,625
No, Hayley, you're thinking
of "The Splurge,"
136
00:05:30,660 --> 00:05:32,093
my unproduced screenplay,
137
00:05:32,128 --> 00:05:33,361
and I told you
not to speak of it
138
00:05:33,396 --> 00:05:36,731
because people steal
great ideas.
139
00:05:37,189 --> 00:05:39,723
What you need is
a vegetarian purge --
140
00:05:39,759 --> 00:05:42,393
one day a year
when you go crazy on meat.
141
00:05:42,428 --> 00:05:44,795
No. That violates
all the principles --
142
00:05:44,830 --> 00:05:46,063
[ faucet squeaks ]
143
00:05:46,065 --> 00:05:49,450
[ Imitates water gushing ]
144
00:05:49,485 --> 00:05:51,402
Think it over.
I'll be in your bath.
145
00:05:51,454 --> 00:05:53,120
I'm not actually gonna
clean myself.
146
00:05:53,155 --> 00:05:55,706
I just like to sit on the drain
while it empties.
147
00:05:55,741 --> 00:05:57,812
Now you share something
crazy about you.
148
00:06:01,080 --> 00:06:04,081
Okay, I culled your bloatware,
disabled running services.
149
00:06:04,133 --> 00:06:07,084
Did you know you were still
using Netscape navigator?
150
00:06:07,119 --> 00:06:08,552
I use these!
151
00:06:08,587 --> 00:06:11,638
Time for lunch, Smith.
Ah, your son.
152
00:06:11,674 --> 00:06:13,757
Put her there, young man.
153
00:06:13,809 --> 00:06:16,143
Mr. Bullock, can I come to
lunch with you guys?
154
00:06:16,178 --> 00:06:17,928
Hmm, with that limp handshake?
155
00:06:17,980 --> 00:06:19,930
Strength's not my speciality,
but --
156
00:06:19,932 --> 00:06:22,816
Yes, I'm not sure you should
come with us to Applebee's.
157
00:06:22,852 --> 00:06:25,986
We have a reputation to
uphold with our waitress, Trish.
158
00:06:26,021 --> 00:06:29,326
She's a single mother
with sass to spare!
159
00:06:29,446 --> 00:06:30,446
Coming, Smith?
160
00:06:30,480 --> 00:06:33,986
Or do you have plans
with Edward Sissyhands here?
161
00:06:36,515 --> 00:06:40,484
Steve will be good here.
You still have work to do.
162
00:06:42,567 --> 00:06:45,122
Sorry about my goofball son, sir.
[ Elevator bell dings ]
163
00:06:45,157 --> 00:06:46,623
His handshake
grosses me out, too.
164
00:06:46,659 --> 00:06:49,827
Not exactly C.I.A. material.
165
00:06:56,235 --> 00:06:57,935
You convinced me.
166
00:06:57,970 --> 00:06:59,970
About what?
Baths make me forgetful.
167
00:07:00,005 --> 00:07:02,573
That I might as well
eat meat today.
168
00:07:02,608 --> 00:07:05,742
I still love it,
and I really miss it.
169
00:07:05,778 --> 00:07:09,847
For the next 24 hours,
Hayley Smith is a carnivore.
170
00:07:09,882 --> 00:07:11,982
I want to eat a cheeseburger.
171
00:07:11,984 --> 00:07:13,984
Ow! Too hard.
172
00:07:16,655 --> 00:07:19,656
Stupid dad.
Not C.I.A. material?
173
00:07:19,658 --> 00:07:21,792
So what if I can't shake
a hand right?
174
00:07:21,827 --> 00:07:23,877
Let's see what happens when
I refuse to update your adobe.
175
00:07:23,913 --> 00:07:25,129
No, no, that's too much.
176
00:07:25,164 --> 00:07:26,747
Every Adobe update is critical
177
00:07:26,799 --> 00:07:28,715
and should be
installed immediately.
178
00:07:28,751 --> 00:07:30,234
But stupid dad!
179
00:07:30,269 --> 00:07:31,802
[ Computer bloops ]
180
00:07:33,572 --> 00:07:35,706
Who's watching me?
[ Computer bloops ]
181
00:07:39,311 --> 00:07:43,180
[ Cell phone blooping ]
182
00:07:47,686 --> 00:07:49,086
Who are you?
183
00:07:49,121 --> 00:07:51,188
A guy who knows that
Amanda Duquette digs you.
184
00:07:51,303 --> 00:07:53,870
And no shame in that.
She's a solid six.
185
00:07:53,905 --> 00:07:57,207
Sixes and fives --
that's where the bargains are.
186
00:07:57,242 --> 00:07:58,508
How do you know about Amanda?
187
00:07:58,543 --> 00:07:59,709
Oh, sorry. I'm Nat.
188
00:07:59,744 --> 00:08:02,378
I work for
the National Security Agency.
189
00:08:02,414 --> 00:08:05,648
We saw what you were doing
with your dad's computer,
190
00:08:05,684 --> 00:08:08,852
and we think you, Steve Smith,
are N.S.A. material.
191
00:08:08,887 --> 00:08:12,722
Really? Hey, do you ever listen
to my conversations with snot?
192
00:08:12,757 --> 00:08:14,357
[ Scoffs ]
We're the N.S.A.
193
00:08:14,392 --> 00:08:16,593
We got better things to do
than listen
194
00:08:16,628 --> 00:08:18,494
to two confused kids
flirt with each other.
195
00:08:18,530 --> 00:08:20,630
[ Chuckles ] What a relief.
196
00:08:23,617 --> 00:08:25,901
Your dad ditched you to go
to Applebee's with his friends.
197
00:08:25,953 --> 00:08:27,619
How'd you know that?
198
00:08:27,655 --> 00:08:33,025
We're the N.S.A. We know
who goes to Applebee's.
199
00:08:33,060 --> 00:08:34,526
See, we don't learn stuff
200
00:08:34,562 --> 00:08:36,404
the dumb,
old-fashioned C.I.A. way.
201
00:08:36,524 --> 00:08:38,191
We use our heads here.
202
00:08:38,226 --> 00:08:39,648
Come on.
Let me show you a movie.
203
00:08:39,781 --> 00:08:42,048
I'm watching a lot
of movies today.
204
00:08:42,084 --> 00:08:43,733
Man: World War II
wasn't won by jocks.
205
00:08:43,785 --> 00:08:47,037
It was won by nerds.
206
00:08:47,072 --> 00:08:48,738
We built the first computers
207
00:08:48,790 --> 00:08:51,958
and broke the Japanese
and German codes.
208
00:08:51,994 --> 00:08:54,327
Steve: Now this one I got.
That's George Takei.
209
00:08:54,329 --> 00:08:56,663
A single N.S.A. computer
210
00:08:56,715 --> 00:09:00,166
does more than
a hundred C.I.A. agents.
211
00:09:00,218 --> 00:09:03,086
We monitor
the world's communications.
212
00:09:03,138 --> 00:09:07,674
If you're talking,
the N.S.A. is listening.
213
00:09:07,676 --> 00:09:09,059
That's what keeps America safe.
214
00:09:09,094 --> 00:09:10,894
[ Crunching ]
That was George Takei.
215
00:09:10,929 --> 00:09:12,645
Yeah, I said that already.
216
00:09:12,681 --> 00:09:14,731
Sorry, I can't hear anything
when I'm munching my corns.
217
00:09:14,766 --> 00:09:17,317
[ Crunches ]
218
00:09:17,352 --> 00:09:18,852
Mmm! [ Crunching ]
219
00:09:18,854 --> 00:09:21,187
Oh! Shh!
220
00:09:21,223 --> 00:09:24,024
Oh, I'm so disgusted
with myself,
221
00:09:24,059 --> 00:09:26,426
but I can't stop eating this.
222
00:09:26,461 --> 00:09:28,328
What did I say?
You would love it.
223
00:09:28,363 --> 00:09:30,080
And what happened?
You love it!
224
00:09:30,115 --> 00:09:32,032
Oh, we're not stopping here,
Roger.
225
00:09:32,067 --> 00:09:34,401
If I'm having a meat day,
I'm going all the way.
226
00:09:34,436 --> 00:09:37,203
I want to get weird.
You mean...
227
00:09:37,239 --> 00:09:40,006
Roger, take me to Koreatown.
228
00:09:40,042 --> 00:09:42,275
Take you? I mean,
can we just go to Koreatown?
229
00:09:42,310 --> 00:09:44,377
What's gonna happen?
I'm gonna be driving,
230
00:09:44,413 --> 00:09:46,179
and you're gonna sit
in the back?
231
00:09:46,214 --> 00:09:48,481
I'm glad your son
didn't ruin our lunch.
232
00:09:48,517 --> 00:09:51,217
It would've revolted me
to see his limp wrist
233
00:09:51,253 --> 00:09:53,053
holding up a chicken tender.
234
00:09:53,088 --> 00:09:54,421
And Trish!
What would Trish think?
235
00:09:54,456 --> 00:09:56,056
Arm strength isn't his thing.
236
00:09:56,091 --> 00:09:58,058
Steve will find his thing,
I don't know,
237
00:09:58,093 --> 00:09:59,759
working on a computer
someplace, like...
238
00:09:59,795 --> 00:10:01,227
Doop be doop be doop
239
00:10:01,263 --> 00:10:04,197
[ laughs ]
Nerds are like that.
240
00:10:04,232 --> 00:10:05,832
Doop be doop be doop
[ Laughs ]
241
00:10:05,867 --> 00:10:07,734
[ Gasps ]
That's not how I talk!
242
00:10:07,769 --> 00:10:09,869
I don't say...
Doop be doop be doop
243
00:10:09,905 --> 00:10:12,238
you guys are watching them
all the time?
244
00:10:12,274 --> 00:10:13,973
Yeah, the more dirt
we get on them,
245
00:10:14,009 --> 00:10:15,775
the more of their budget
we can take.
246
00:10:15,811 --> 00:10:17,343
We've been trying to get on
to your dad's computer,
247
00:10:17,379 --> 00:10:19,045
but we can't figure out
where he keeps his files.
248
00:10:19,081 --> 00:10:22,015
[ Laughter ]
Doop be doop be doop
249
00:10:22,050 --> 00:10:23,450
How is he still doing it?
250
00:10:23,485 --> 00:10:25,885
And how is he still
getting laughs?!
251
00:10:30,358 --> 00:10:32,926
There you are. Hey,
sorry about lunch, buddy.
252
00:10:32,961 --> 00:10:34,861
But thanks
for setting up Facebook.
253
00:10:34,896 --> 00:10:36,362
Facebook...on!
254
00:10:36,398 --> 00:10:40,500
Notify my friends of
my many accomplishments... on!
255
00:10:40,535 --> 00:10:42,402
I need to take your disks, okay?
256
00:10:42,437 --> 00:10:46,506
To get them...
digitally cleaned.
257
00:10:46,541 --> 00:10:48,408
Should I get the whole
computer cleaned?
258
00:10:48,443 --> 00:10:49,943
Would that make it happier?
259
00:10:49,978 --> 00:10:52,212
No.
It doesn't feel anything.
260
00:10:52,247 --> 00:10:54,914
Sometimes I wish
I was a computer.
261
00:10:54,950 --> 00:10:57,217
You sound a little ominous,
Steve.
262
00:10:57,252 --> 00:10:58,451
Is everything okay?
263
00:10:58,487 --> 00:11:00,086
Yes, everything's fine.
264
00:11:00,122 --> 00:11:03,056
Cool!
265
00:11:04,392 --> 00:11:06,009
[ Squeaks ]
266
00:11:06,044 --> 00:11:07,927
Eat it, Hayley.
Eat it!
267
00:11:07,963 --> 00:11:10,013
[ Shudders ]
268
00:11:11,299 --> 00:11:15,301
[ Groaning ]
269
00:11:15,303 --> 00:11:17,137
[ Slurps and gulps ]
270
00:11:17,139 --> 00:11:18,805
Oh, my god.
271
00:11:18,857 --> 00:11:20,940
I could feel him fighting
all the way down my throat.
272
00:11:20,976 --> 00:11:22,609
He did not wanna die.
273
00:11:22,644 --> 00:11:25,478
Hayley,
what's your wildest fantasy?
274
00:11:25,514 --> 00:11:27,213
I've been kidnapped
by three African guys,
275
00:11:27,249 --> 00:11:28,915
and while
the whole village watches,
276
00:11:28,950 --> 00:11:31,951
their most powerful warrior
demands that I disrobe.
277
00:11:31,987 --> 00:11:34,320
Whoa, okay, fascinating.
Will return to.
278
00:11:34,356 --> 00:11:36,589
But I meant
your wildest food fantasy.
279
00:11:36,625 --> 00:11:39,359
I, uh...
I don't know if I should say.
280
00:11:39,394 --> 00:11:41,327
Oh, this is gonna be good!
281
00:11:42,564 --> 00:11:45,231
I've always wanted to eat
a gorilla --
282
00:11:45,267 --> 00:11:47,967
a gorilla that can speak
sign language.
283
00:11:48,003 --> 00:11:49,335
I wanna eat its brain.
284
00:11:49,387 --> 00:11:52,055
Oh, that is truly horrifying.
285
00:11:52,090 --> 00:11:55,575
Oh, I'm disgusted!
You should be disgusted.
286
00:11:55,610 --> 00:11:58,978
But I do know a guy.
287
00:12:01,449 --> 00:12:03,149
I can't believe this.
288
00:12:03,185 --> 00:12:05,218
The C.I.A. would be stupid
to store their data this way.
289
00:12:05,253 --> 00:12:06,486
They are stupids!
290
00:12:06,521 --> 00:12:08,288
Oh, with what's on here,
291
00:12:08,323 --> 00:12:10,857
we could take them down!
There won't even be a C.I.A.
292
00:12:10,892 --> 00:12:12,525
Wait, that seems a tad strong.
293
00:12:12,561 --> 00:12:14,027
You don't get a vote.
294
00:12:14,062 --> 00:12:15,628
I thought
I was N.S.A. material.
295
00:12:15,664 --> 00:12:19,365
Not anymore. You're what we call
a "discarded asset."
296
00:12:19,417 --> 00:12:20,867
[ Door whooshes ]
Later, traitor.
297
00:12:20,869 --> 00:12:23,169
[ Gasps ]
298
00:12:23,205 --> 00:12:24,537
[ Door whooshes ]
299
00:12:28,143 --> 00:12:30,877
[ Door whooshes ] Sorry, gotta
swipe you out of this door, too.
300
00:12:30,929 --> 00:12:33,246
[ Door whooshes ] That'll get
you as far as the cafeteria.
301
00:12:33,281 --> 00:12:34,914
Someone there will have to
swipe you to the garage.
302
00:12:34,950 --> 00:12:36,649
Then you can just walk up
the ramp.
303
00:12:36,685 --> 00:12:38,618
Technically, you have
to swipe at the top,
304
00:12:38,653 --> 00:12:40,053
but it's just one of
those arm gates,
305
00:12:40,088 --> 00:12:43,623
so you can just duck
under it. Uh, bye!
306
00:12:43,658 --> 00:12:45,325
[ Door whooshes ]
307
00:12:47,126 --> 00:12:48,725
[ Crickets chirping ]
308
00:12:48,761 --> 00:12:52,045
Oh...
[ Mumbles indistinctly ]
309
00:12:52,097 --> 00:12:53,347
[ Playing harmonica ]
310
00:12:53,382 --> 00:12:57,017
The C.I.A.
What happened to the C.I.A.?
311
00:12:57,052 --> 00:13:01,296
Hush, papa. The C.I.A. is gone.
It's been gone for a long time.
312
00:13:01,416 --> 00:13:05,146
Who betrayed me?
Someone betrayed me.
313
00:13:05,253 --> 00:13:07,086
Well, I did it.
314
00:13:07,088 --> 00:13:10,089
I provided food for the family.
315
00:13:10,141 --> 00:13:11,340
It's Klaus.
316
00:13:11,392 --> 00:13:12,959
But... But...
317
00:13:12,994 --> 00:13:16,262
[ Voice breaking ]
We can't afford tartar sauce!
318
00:13:16,314 --> 00:13:20,099
[ All sobbing ]
319
00:13:20,151 --> 00:13:23,356
Well, I guess I'd better go
to my job as a stripper.
320
00:13:23,476 --> 00:13:26,105
[ Horns honking ]
321
00:13:26,107 --> 00:13:29,108
[ Siren wailing ]
322
00:13:29,847 --> 00:13:31,012
What's happened?
[ Latin music playing ]
323
00:13:31,132 --> 00:13:32,578
[ Spanish accent ]
With your C.I.A. gone,
324
00:13:32,614 --> 00:13:34,614
it was easy for Cuba
to invade United States.
325
00:13:34,616 --> 00:13:37,366
All hail Fidel!
[ Shouting indistinctly ]
326
00:13:37,418 --> 00:13:39,881
[ Gasps ]
What a horrible nightmare.
327
00:13:40,001 --> 00:13:42,004
And why did I include that
extra part
328
00:13:42,040 --> 00:13:44,173
where I actually saw
mom stripping?
329
00:13:44,209 --> 00:13:46,125
One problem at a time.
330
00:13:46,177 --> 00:13:47,460
[ Snoring ]
331
00:13:47,512 --> 00:13:50,797
Dad. Dad, wake up.
I did something terrible.
332
00:13:50,917 --> 00:13:52,083
I was snooping on you,
333
00:13:52,135 --> 00:13:53,968
and I heard
what you said about me.
334
00:13:54,004 --> 00:13:56,337
And I got so mad
I betrayed you to the N.S.A.
335
00:13:56,389 --> 00:13:57,639
N.S.A.?
336
00:13:57,674 --> 00:13:58,890
I gave them
all your floppy disks,
337
00:13:58,925 --> 00:14:00,341
and they're gonna use them
338
00:14:00,393 --> 00:14:01,809
to put the C.I.A.
out of business!
339
00:14:01,845 --> 00:14:04,345
I feel so awful.
How can I make this up to you?
340
00:14:04,397 --> 00:14:06,314
I'm afraid that's impossible,
son.
341
00:14:06,349 --> 00:14:08,816
Wha... No! Papa, please!
342
00:14:08,852 --> 00:14:12,353
Remember when you and I built
that fort out in the woods?
343
00:14:12,355 --> 00:14:15,023
I'd suggest you go live
in that fort, Steve.
344
00:14:15,075 --> 00:14:17,575
No traitors can live
under my roof.
345
00:14:17,611 --> 00:14:20,528
Can --
can I say goodbye to mom?
346
00:14:21,781 --> 00:14:25,366
That's her waving goodbye,
Steve.
347
00:14:27,420 --> 00:14:31,039
I'm on my own...
maybe forever.
348
00:14:31,041 --> 00:14:34,709
[ Crying ]
349
00:14:34,761 --> 00:14:38,596
I should probably wait
to eat my snacks.
350
00:14:38,632 --> 00:14:40,632
I'll just put 'em
where I can see 'em.
351
00:14:40,684 --> 00:14:45,053
[ Thunder crashes ]
352
00:14:45,105 --> 00:14:48,056
[ Bird chirps ]
353
00:14:48,108 --> 00:14:49,891
[ Squawks ]
354
00:14:49,943 --> 00:14:51,559
[ Inhales deeply ]
355
00:14:51,611 --> 00:14:54,195
[ Southern accent ] So y'all
wanna eat a signing gorilla?
356
00:14:54,231 --> 00:14:55,897
We got one. Mittens!
357
00:14:55,949 --> 00:14:57,815
[ Door squeaks ]
358
00:15:01,071 --> 00:15:03,371
You got the money?
359
00:15:03,406 --> 00:15:06,791
All right. You folks think
about wine pairings.
360
00:15:06,826 --> 00:15:08,576
[ Stomp ]
361
00:15:10,964 --> 00:15:12,497
Are we okay with this?
362
00:15:12,549 --> 00:15:14,832
After today,
I am never eating meat again.
363
00:15:14,884 --> 00:15:16,417
But I'm going out on top.
364
00:15:16,419 --> 00:15:18,503
No, I mean,
are we okay with wine?
365
00:15:18,555 --> 00:15:20,922
I've always heard beer
with gorilla brain.
366
00:15:20,924 --> 00:15:23,925
[ Thunder crashing ]
367
00:15:27,013 --> 00:15:28,730
[ Steve shivering ]
368
00:15:28,765 --> 00:15:30,431
Why did I betray my dad?
369
00:15:30,433 --> 00:15:32,650
And why did I eat all my snacks?
370
00:15:32,686 --> 00:15:35,103
You'll always have snacks
as long as I'm around.
371
00:15:35,155 --> 00:15:36,571
Dad!
372
00:15:36,606 --> 00:15:38,773
Steve,
I was hurt you betrayed me.
373
00:15:38,775 --> 00:15:41,025
But now I can see
where it came from.
374
00:15:41,077 --> 00:15:42,610
I was just so mad.
375
00:15:42,662 --> 00:15:45,079
You told your friends
I wasn't C.I.A. material!
376
00:15:45,115 --> 00:15:47,198
And then I turned out not to be!
377
00:15:47,250 --> 00:15:49,867
Whoa, buck up, son.
I'm sorry I said that.
378
00:15:49,919 --> 00:15:51,452
And I was wrong, anyway.
379
00:15:51,504 --> 00:15:53,538
I mean, you figured out my plan.
380
00:15:53,590 --> 00:15:55,039
You're right. I...
Your plan?
381
00:15:55,091 --> 00:15:57,425
You knew I'd never
kick you out of the house.
382
00:15:57,460 --> 00:15:59,711
I just needed to get you
somewhere where I knew
383
00:15:59,763 --> 00:16:01,512
the N.S.A. couldn't snoop on us.
384
00:16:01,548 --> 00:16:03,014
Right. Your plan.
385
00:16:03,049 --> 00:16:06,634
That's why I could afford to eat
all my snacks right away.
386
00:16:06,636 --> 00:16:09,020
I didn't have to play
the long game.
387
00:16:11,691 --> 00:16:13,941
Now, where do you think
my disks are?
388
00:16:13,977 --> 00:16:15,943
Forget the disks.
They've uploaded the data.
389
00:16:15,979 --> 00:16:17,945
They won't be clouded yet,
not secure enough.
390
00:16:17,981 --> 00:16:20,982
But it will be somewhere
backed up on their server farm.
391
00:16:20,984 --> 00:16:22,784
Okay, I don't know
what any of that means.
392
00:16:22,819 --> 00:16:24,619
The crucial thing is
we get those disks back.
393
00:16:24,654 --> 00:16:26,487
How are we gonna get in there?
394
00:16:26,539 --> 00:16:29,490
They have triple lock,
fingerprint encryption systems.
395
00:16:29,542 --> 00:16:30,825
Did you check the roof?
396
00:16:30,827 --> 00:16:31,993
Nerds never go up on the roof.
397
00:16:32,045 --> 00:16:33,795
'Cause of the sun.
398
00:16:33,830 --> 00:16:38,049
[ Pop, rope whirs ]
399
00:16:38,084 --> 00:16:39,834
Come on, Steve! Follow me up!
400
00:16:39,886 --> 00:16:43,171
A rope climb?
Dad, I can't do it!
401
00:16:43,173 --> 00:16:44,672
Sure, you can, Steve!
402
00:16:44,724 --> 00:16:47,175
I don't always say it,
but I believe in you!
403
00:16:47,227 --> 00:16:49,177
[ Groans ]
404
00:16:49,179 --> 00:16:52,930
[ Grunting ]
405
00:16:52,982 --> 00:16:54,182
[ Groans ]
406
00:16:54,234 --> 00:16:57,652
I'm doing it!
All by myself.
407
00:16:59,239 --> 00:17:00,772
[ Grunts ] Uh-oh.
408
00:17:00,824 --> 00:17:02,940
Here's where the rubbing
starts to feel funny.
409
00:17:02,992 --> 00:17:04,992
This'll be a bad time
for a boner.
410
00:17:05,028 --> 00:17:07,111
Don't think about
the rope at school.
411
00:17:07,163 --> 00:17:09,614
Aah! [ Panting ]
412
00:17:09,666 --> 00:17:12,116
I did it! Go home?
413
00:17:12,168 --> 00:17:14,001
Job's not done, son.
414
00:17:14,037 --> 00:17:16,120
[ Metal clangs, thuds ]
415
00:17:17,707 --> 00:17:21,959
Well, isn't this cute?
Father and son.
416
00:17:22,011 --> 00:17:23,878
Yeah, that's right.
417
00:17:23,880 --> 00:17:27,799
This is my dad,
Stan Smith of the C.I.A.
418
00:17:27,851 --> 00:17:30,685
C.I.A.?!
No, The-Theodore!
419
00:17:30,720 --> 00:17:32,720
[ Sighs ] Shoot them.
420
00:17:32,772 --> 00:17:34,689
You ever even fire
that thing, son?
421
00:17:34,724 --> 00:17:37,692
[ Nerdy voice ] No. I downloaded
a PDF about gun use.
422
00:17:37,727 --> 00:17:39,060
Shoot him!
423
00:17:39,112 --> 00:17:41,863
[ Gunshot, glass shatters ]
Aah! So loud!
424
00:17:41,898 --> 00:17:44,949
You're just a bunch of nerds.
What do bullies do to nerds?
425
00:17:44,984 --> 00:17:46,567
Steve?
426
00:17:46,569 --> 00:17:47,819
A purple nurple!
427
00:17:47,871 --> 00:17:50,321
Ah, ah, ah!
Titty twister!
428
00:17:50,373 --> 00:17:54,125
Okay, now how 'bout one
that's not on the nipple?
429
00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:56,994
Noogie!
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
430
00:17:57,046 --> 00:18:00,081
Quit punching yourself!
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
431
00:18:00,133 --> 00:18:01,666
Pig belly!
[ Slapping sound ]
432
00:18:01,718 --> 00:18:05,636
Aah, aah, aah, aah, aah!
Wedgie! No. Atomic wedgie!
433
00:18:05,672 --> 00:18:07,004
[ High-pitched voice ]
Aah, aah, aah!
434
00:18:07,056 --> 00:18:10,224
Ow, ow, ow, ow!
Ah, ah, ah!
435
00:18:10,260 --> 00:18:12,593
Aah! Ow, ow, ow.
436
00:18:12,645 --> 00:18:16,764
You're what we call...
a discarded asshole.
437
00:18:16,816 --> 00:18:18,266
[ Door whooshes ]
438
00:18:18,268 --> 00:18:19,767
Lousy machines.
439
00:18:19,803 --> 00:18:22,336
Storing America�s private data.
440
00:18:22,372 --> 00:18:23,771
[ Clanking ]
441
00:18:23,823 --> 00:18:25,907
Dad, dad!
I know a better way.
442
00:18:25,942 --> 00:18:28,659
They were all connected
in a series.
443
00:18:30,079 --> 00:18:32,079
Like Christmas lights, papa.
444
00:18:32,115 --> 00:18:37,218
[ Electricity crackling ]
445
00:18:37,253 --> 00:18:39,036
[ Machines powering down ]
No!
446
00:18:39,088 --> 00:18:44,759
Error 404 --
N.S.A. files not found.
447
00:18:44,794 --> 00:18:46,694
Nat, are you gonna take
that underwear off your head?
448
00:18:46,729 --> 00:18:50,731
It's the only thing
that feels good right now.
449
00:18:50,767 --> 00:18:53,134
[ Crickets chirping ]
450
00:18:53,169 --> 00:18:54,352
[ Fork clinks ]
451
00:18:54,387 --> 00:18:56,854
Mmm, I think I just ate
the memory
452
00:18:56,890 --> 00:18:59,640
of when it was taken away
from its mom.
453
00:18:59,692 --> 00:19:01,609
So no sides at all?
454
00:19:02,896 --> 00:19:05,146
[ Fork clinks ]
455
00:19:05,148 --> 00:19:08,316
Mmm, oh...
456
00:19:08,368 --> 00:19:11,118
Oh, no.
Oh, this was a mistake.
457
00:19:11,154 --> 00:19:12,987
You're damn right it was!
458
00:19:13,039 --> 00:19:16,157
Gus Derwitt, U.S. Fish
& Wildlife Service.
459
00:19:16,159 --> 00:19:18,826
We got you on tape
eating an endangered species.
460
00:19:18,828 --> 00:19:20,378
That's
a 10-year prison term.
461
00:19:20,413 --> 00:19:22,997
Please, she accidentally ate
veal this morning.
462
00:19:22,999 --> 00:19:24,715
You can see how we got here.
463
00:19:24,751 --> 00:19:26,884
We're so sorry!
Please don't turn us in!
464
00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:29,754
Hmm, well, my hands
aren't exactly clean either.
465
00:19:29,806 --> 00:19:31,172
There was probably a way
to do this
466
00:19:31,224 --> 00:19:33,808
without butchering a gorilla.
467
00:19:33,843 --> 00:19:36,177
Tell you what, give me $10,000,
468
00:19:36,179 --> 00:19:37,929
I'll let you walk.
469
00:19:39,148 --> 00:19:40,681
I have $60.
470
00:19:40,683 --> 00:19:43,401
I have two stamps
and a used ticket
471
00:19:43,436 --> 00:19:45,069
to Chicago�s Adler Planetarium.
472
00:19:45,104 --> 00:19:48,689
Hand it over and get out of here
before I change my mind.
473
00:19:50,944 --> 00:19:54,362
[ Gulps ]
There should be sides.
474
00:19:54,364 --> 00:19:56,998
We got 60 bucks
475
00:19:57,033 --> 00:20:01,168
and whatever two forever stamps
is worth these days.
476
00:20:01,204 --> 00:20:03,120
[ Growls ]
477
00:20:03,172 --> 00:20:05,089
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
478
00:20:05,124 --> 00:20:07,875
[ Grunts ]
479
00:20:07,877 --> 00:20:09,093
[ Growls ]
480
00:20:09,128 --> 00:20:11,045
The old gorilla brain switcheroo
481
00:20:11,097 --> 00:20:13,097
doesn't play like it used to.
482
00:20:13,132 --> 00:20:14,932
Maybe we need a new swindle.
483
00:20:16,853 --> 00:20:19,520
You wanna grift with
someone else? That's fine.
484
00:20:19,556 --> 00:20:22,139
But you still gon' be
my husband.
485
00:20:22,191 --> 00:20:23,774
[ Grunts ]
486
00:20:28,064 --> 00:20:30,948
Tonight, you proved
you are C.I.A. material.
487
00:20:30,984 --> 00:20:33,067
We just did a mission together.
488
00:20:33,119 --> 00:20:34,402
Put her there.
489
00:20:34,404 --> 00:20:37,872
Hmm, nothing we can do
about the sweat.
490
00:20:37,907 --> 00:20:39,407
That's from your mom's side.
491
00:20:39,409 --> 00:20:40,649
But you can tighten up the grip.
492
00:20:41,393 --> 00:20:44,335
Alright, alright, still pretty weak,
but getting there.
493
00:20:45,842 --> 00:20:48,641
There it is, now that's a handshake.
494
00:20:49,010 --> 00:20:51,286
Cute kid. You leaving him as a tip?
495
00:20:52,578 --> 00:20:54,289
'Cause last time you didn't leave a tip.
496
00:20:54,562 --> 00:20:56,328
Trish.
497
00:20:54,562 --> 00:20:56,328
- Trish.
- Trish.
498
00:20:56,448 --> 00:21:07,287
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
499
00:21:07,337 --> 00:21:11,887
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
36560
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
