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00:00:00,125 --> 00:00:01,426
[ Applause ]
2
00:00:01,461 --> 00:00:03,461
Welcome back
to "Morning Mimosa"!
3
00:00:03,496 --> 00:00:04,562
I'm Trish.
4
00:00:04,598 --> 00:00:07,332
And I'm Sues,
A.K.A. "The Sizzle."
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00:00:07,367 --> 00:00:09,634
As always, we're bringing you
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00:00:09,669 --> 00:00:12,337
five full hours
of mimosas and...
7
00:00:12,372 --> 00:00:14,205
Oh, and...
8
00:00:14,241 --> 00:00:17,108
Whoops!
I forgot our catchphrase again!
9
00:00:17,143 --> 00:00:20,278
Uh-oh, Trish.
Sounds to me like you've had...
10
00:00:20,313 --> 00:00:23,248
All:
Too many mimosas!
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00:00:23,283 --> 00:00:24,949
[ "Stronger"
by Kelly Clarkson plays ]
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00:00:24,985 --> 00:00:27,085
[ Gasps ]
Is that Kelly I hear?
13
00:00:27,120 --> 00:00:28,519
Ladies, let's dance!
14
00:00:28,555 --> 00:00:30,054
What doesn't kill
you makes you stronger
15
00:00:30,090 --> 00:00:31,923
stand a little taller
16
00:00:31,958 --> 00:00:34,592
doesn't mean I'm lonely
when I'm alone
17
00:00:34,628 --> 00:00:37,996
I love it when fat ladies
feel falsely empowered.
18
00:00:38,031 --> 00:00:40,665
Who's up next, Charlie?
19
00:00:41,024 --> 00:00:43,825
The creator of the stupidest
diet I've ever heard of.
20
00:00:43,860 --> 00:00:45,827
I think she eats algae
or something?
21
00:00:45,862 --> 00:00:47,262
Let's find out.
22
00:00:47,297 --> 00:00:48,763
It's Rhonda Hughart!
23
00:00:48,799 --> 00:00:50,365
[ Applause ]
24
00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:51,933
Hi, Trish.
Hi, Sizzle.
25
00:00:51,969 --> 00:00:53,802
Thanks for having me on.
26
00:00:53,837 --> 00:00:55,837
My diet
is about sensible --
27
00:00:55,872 --> 00:00:58,239
Buppity-bup-bup-
bup-bup-bup-bup!
28
00:00:58,275 --> 00:01:01,343
How many mimosas a day
can you have on this diet?
29
00:01:01,378 --> 00:01:03,545
Um, if you've been good,
30
00:01:03,580 --> 00:01:05,246
maybe...one?
31
00:01:05,282 --> 00:01:06,514
[ Audience gasps ]
32
00:01:06,550 --> 00:01:09,250
Uh-oh.
Buckle up, bitch.
33
00:01:09,286 --> 00:01:12,287
One mimosa?
Are you insane?!
34
00:01:12,322 --> 00:01:14,856
Cut off her head
and put it in a bag!
35
00:01:14,891 --> 00:01:16,758
Sues, I think
we've found ourselves
36
00:01:16,793 --> 00:01:18,526
someone to publicly shame.
37
00:01:18,562 --> 00:01:19,694
What does that mean?
38
00:01:19,730 --> 00:01:21,596
Oh, God, what does that mean?
39
00:01:21,632 --> 00:01:24,499
I love it when
they turn on their guests.
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00:01:24,534 --> 00:01:26,001
[ Audience boos ]
I'm sorry,
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00:01:26,036 --> 00:01:27,936
you can have
all the mimosas you want!
42
00:01:27,971 --> 00:01:29,704
That's not enough!
43
00:01:33,510 --> 00:01:36,878
Announcer: All food thrown at our
guests is provided by Taco King.
44
00:01:36,913 --> 00:01:39,948
Taco King -- food so delicious,it stays together in the air.
45
00:01:39,983 --> 00:01:41,950
[ Sobbing ]
46
00:01:41,985 --> 00:01:44,052
I have kids!
47
00:01:46,790 --> 00:01:49,457
Good morning, U.S.A.
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00:01:49,493 --> 00:01:53,328
I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day
49
00:01:53,363 --> 00:01:56,431
the sun in the sky
has a smile on his face
50
00:01:56,466 --> 00:02:00,735
and he's shinin' a salute
to the American race
51
00:02:02,639 --> 00:02:05,974
oh, boy, it's swell to say
52
00:02:06,009 --> 00:02:08,543
good --
good morning, U.S.A.
53
00:02:08,578 --> 00:02:16,295
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
54
00:02:16,753 --> 00:02:20,055
Steve, I asked you
to set the table 10 minutes ago.
55
00:02:20,090 --> 00:02:21,389
Dinner's ready.
56
00:02:21,425 --> 00:02:22,724
But I'm on level 15!
57
00:02:22,759 --> 00:02:24,959
Well, I'm on level one
of the house,
58
00:02:24,995 --> 00:02:26,461
where I cooked for you.
59
00:02:26,496 --> 00:02:27,662
Now set the table.
60
00:02:27,698 --> 00:02:29,364
I didn't ask you to cook for me.
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00:02:29,399 --> 00:02:30,932
Excuse me?
62
00:02:30,967 --> 00:02:33,068
Mom, I'm busy.
I'll do it in a minute.
63
00:02:33,103 --> 00:02:36,938
No! It didn't save!
It didn't save!
64
00:02:36,973 --> 00:02:38,473
What were you thinking?
65
00:02:38,508 --> 00:02:39,541
I was thinking...
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00:02:39,576 --> 00:02:41,443
go set the table.
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00:02:41,478 --> 00:02:43,111
Fuck you!
68
00:02:43,146 --> 00:02:44,546
[ Gasps ]
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00:02:44,581 --> 00:02:45,581
[ Gasps ]
[ Glass cracks ]
70
00:02:45,615 --> 00:02:46,614
[ Gasps ]
71
00:02:46,650 --> 00:02:48,416
Wow.
72
00:02:49,886 --> 00:02:51,653
[ Chuckles ]
73
00:02:51,688 --> 00:02:53,722
[ Laughing ]
74
00:02:56,727 --> 00:02:58,093
[ Insects chirping ]
75
00:02:58,128 --> 00:02:59,394
And what did your mom say?
76
00:02:59,429 --> 00:03:00,628
Nothing.
77
00:03:00,664 --> 00:03:02,497
She -- she just walked
out of the room.
78
00:03:02,532 --> 00:03:04,833
This is bad.
This is real bad.
79
00:03:04,868 --> 00:03:06,968
Yeah, she's pretty pissed.
80
00:03:07,003 --> 00:03:08,903
I'm just gonna lay low
till it blows over.
81
00:03:08,939 --> 00:03:10,905
What if it doesn't blow over?
82
00:03:10,941 --> 00:03:12,807
Saying "F" you to your mom
83
00:03:12,843 --> 00:03:14,943
can change your dynamic forever!
84
00:03:14,978 --> 00:03:16,978
Ah, maybe you guys are right.
85
00:03:17,013 --> 00:03:18,780
Toshi, care to weigh in?
86
00:03:18,815 --> 00:03:19,848
Tosh?
87
00:03:21,351 --> 00:03:24,686
Uh, Toshi just walked
past my house.
88
00:03:25,770 --> 00:03:27,370
[ Insects chirping ]
89
00:03:27,405 --> 00:03:28,805
Steve, I'm very disappointed
90
00:03:28,840 --> 00:03:31,240
that you used that language
with your mother.
91
00:03:31,276 --> 00:03:32,675
That being said,
92
00:03:32,711 --> 00:03:34,644
I'm more excited for dinner
than I have been in years.
93
00:03:34,679 --> 00:03:36,279
You did a very bad thing.
94
00:03:36,314 --> 00:03:38,448
You know who had to set
the table tonight? Me.
95
00:03:38,483 --> 00:03:39,849
What are you talking about?
96
00:03:39,884 --> 00:03:41,284
I set the table.
97
00:03:41,319 --> 00:03:42,685
Well, I would have been
next in line,
98
00:03:42,721 --> 00:03:44,354
and I did not like it.
99
00:03:44,389 --> 00:03:47,357
I made everyone's favorite --
mac and cheese omelettes.
100
00:03:47,392 --> 00:03:48,925
Awesome.
Breakfast for dinner.
101
00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:50,360
My favorite.
102
00:03:50,395 --> 00:03:52,829
So, um, mom,
I have something for you.
103
00:03:52,864 --> 00:03:55,365
Oh, do you guys hear something?
104
00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:56,532
'Cause I don't.
105
00:03:56,568 --> 00:03:58,935
Come on, mom.
Just take the card.
106
00:03:58,970 --> 00:04:00,303
Mom, don't ignore me.
107
00:04:00,338 --> 00:04:01,725
Why not?
It's fun!
108
00:04:01,845 --> 00:04:03,244
I'm ignoring Klaus right now,
109
00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:05,046
and it's not
bothering him at all.
110
00:04:05,082 --> 00:04:06,347
It's very peaceful.
111
00:04:06,383 --> 00:04:08,049
He was my only problem.
112
00:04:08,978 --> 00:04:10,545
Hey, where's mine?
113
00:04:10,580 --> 00:04:13,481
You didn't ask me
to cook for you, remember?
114
00:04:13,516 --> 00:04:15,616
But i-it was
in the heat of the moment and --
115
00:04:15,652 --> 00:04:17,752
Steve, you really
hurt my feelings.
116
00:04:17,787 --> 00:04:20,588
Part one of your punishment
is I'm ignoring you.
117
00:04:20,623 --> 00:04:22,857
Part two is no dinner.
118
00:04:22,892 --> 00:04:24,292
When I snap my fingers,
119
00:04:24,327 --> 00:04:25,793
I'm gonna do part one on Hayley.
120
00:04:25,829 --> 00:04:27,295
[ Snaps ]
Where'd she go?
121
00:04:27,330 --> 00:04:29,063
But I was gonna say sorry.
122
00:04:29,099 --> 00:04:31,833
A-and I even got you
this stupid card.
123
00:04:33,436 --> 00:04:36,571
So we're cool, right?
Like penguin says?
124
00:04:36,606 --> 00:04:38,372
Mac and cheese omelet?
125
00:04:38,408 --> 00:04:40,408
The penguin might be cool,
126
00:04:40,443 --> 00:04:41,542
but we are not.
127
00:04:41,578 --> 00:04:43,511
Something has changed, Steve.
128
00:04:43,546 --> 00:04:44,746
The dynamic?
129
00:04:44,781 --> 00:04:46,814
You're goddamn right
it's the dynamic.
130
00:04:46,850 --> 00:04:47,982
[ Chuckles ]
131
00:04:48,017 --> 00:04:50,718
This dinner is not a letdown.
132
00:04:50,754 --> 00:04:52,453
Oh, now you're mad at me.
133
00:04:52,489 --> 00:04:53,988
Too bad I'm ignoring you.
134
00:04:54,023 --> 00:04:55,389
In fact...
135
00:04:55,425 --> 00:04:56,958
[ Snaps ] Gone.
[ Snaps ] Gone.
136
00:04:56,993 --> 00:04:58,025
[ Snaps ] Gone.
137
00:04:58,061 --> 00:05:00,695
[ Sighs ]
Alone at last.
138
00:05:00,730 --> 00:05:03,030
I can eat how I want.
139
00:05:05,101 --> 00:05:06,768
[ Insects chirping ]
140
00:05:10,140 --> 00:05:12,740
Where the hell
are the leftovers?
141
00:05:12,776 --> 00:05:14,776
Looking for something?
142
00:05:14,811 --> 00:05:15,943
Barry?
143
00:05:15,979 --> 00:05:17,645
Y-you're eating
the leftovers?
144
00:05:17,680 --> 00:05:19,947
Maybe you can have
his leftovers.
145
00:05:19,983 --> 00:05:22,617
We both know
that's not gonna happen.
146
00:05:22,652 --> 00:05:25,453
No dinner meant no dinner.
147
00:05:25,488 --> 00:05:27,121
I didn't come down here
for food.
148
00:05:27,157 --> 00:05:29,357
I'm down here for...
149
00:05:29,392 --> 00:05:30,792
the crisper drawer.
150
00:05:30,827 --> 00:05:34,061
I'm building a fort,
and it needs a window.
151
00:05:34,097 --> 00:05:35,596
[ Stomach growls ]
152
00:05:35,632 --> 00:05:36,864
You sound hungry.
153
00:05:36,900 --> 00:05:39,133
I'm hungry to finish my fort!
154
00:05:39,169 --> 00:05:41,569
[ Birds chirping ]
155
00:05:42,806 --> 00:05:43,905
Morning, mom.
156
00:05:43,940 --> 00:05:45,640
Thank God it's laundry day,
157
00:05:45,675 --> 00:05:48,009
'cause I'm all out of undies
up there.
158
00:05:48,044 --> 00:05:50,044
I am undie-free.
Sans panties.
159
00:05:50,079 --> 00:05:51,879
Less panty, mo' problems.
160
00:05:51,915 --> 00:05:54,415
Let me briefs you
on the situation --
161
00:05:54,450 --> 00:05:56,050
I ain't got no underwear.
162
00:05:56,085 --> 00:05:57,718
Mm-hmm.
What's your point?
163
00:05:57,754 --> 00:05:59,620
Didn't you do my laundry?
No.
164
00:05:59,656 --> 00:06:01,022
What you said is something
165
00:06:01,057 --> 00:06:02,757
you don't say to your mother.
166
00:06:02,792 --> 00:06:05,760
So you must not think of me
as a mother at all.
167
00:06:05,795 --> 00:06:08,095
So, from now on,
you're on your own.
168
00:06:08,131 --> 00:06:10,731
Mommy-free.
Sans mommy.
169
00:06:10,767 --> 00:06:12,867
You ain't got no mama.
170
00:06:12,902 --> 00:06:14,068
What's that, Francine?
171
00:06:14,103 --> 00:06:15,736
I think you dropped a challenge.
172
00:06:15,772 --> 00:06:17,138
And I'm pickin' it up.
173
00:06:17,173 --> 00:06:19,574
'Cause I can do
everything you do for me --
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00:06:19,609 --> 00:06:20,808
laundry, cooking,
175
00:06:20,844 --> 00:06:23,511
telling myself
I'm a big, handsome boy.
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00:06:23,546 --> 00:06:26,080
First step,
making myself some pancakes!
177
00:06:28,051 --> 00:06:30,551
Oh, no.
This is so hard.
178
00:06:30,587 --> 00:06:31,752
What a joke.
179
00:06:31,788 --> 00:06:33,454
Ha! I'm laughing.
180
00:06:33,489 --> 00:06:35,690
Ha! This is laughable,
is what it is.
181
00:06:35,725 --> 00:06:36,691
Mmm.
182
00:06:36,726 --> 00:06:37,925
[ Gags ]
183
00:06:37,961 --> 00:06:40,461
Your pancake mix
was laundry soap.
184
00:06:40,496 --> 00:06:42,563
[ Gags, spits ]
185
00:06:42,599 --> 00:06:45,066
So it seems.
186
00:06:46,509 --> 00:06:48,008
[ Birds chirping ]
187
00:06:50,980 --> 00:06:54,114
Game over, laundry.
Mastered this pretty fast.
188
00:06:54,150 --> 00:06:55,816
Aah!
189
00:06:55,851 --> 00:06:57,618
You're in over your head, Steve.
190
00:06:57,653 --> 00:06:59,086
You think you can do better?
191
00:06:59,121 --> 00:07:00,220
Oh, definitely not.
192
00:07:00,256 --> 00:07:01,822
That's why
I'm nice to mom --
193
00:07:01,857 --> 00:07:03,624
so she'll keep taking care of me
194
00:07:03,659 --> 00:07:04,992
well into my adult years.
195
00:07:05,027 --> 00:07:06,527
Idiot.
196
00:07:06,562 --> 00:07:07,828
How's he doing?
197
00:07:07,863 --> 00:07:09,196
Horribly.
198
00:07:09,231 --> 00:07:11,999
Great! I knew he couldn't
survive without me.
199
00:07:12,034 --> 00:07:14,802
He'll learn his lesson
and come crawling back.
200
00:07:14,837 --> 00:07:17,604
And that's how I want to see
my little man --
201
00:07:17,640 --> 00:07:18,839
begging for mercy
202
00:07:18,874 --> 00:07:20,874
because
he's completely incapable
203
00:07:20,910 --> 00:07:22,576
of taking care of himself.
204
00:07:22,611 --> 00:07:24,244
Motherhood.
205
00:07:24,280 --> 00:07:25,879
Mom, can I just say
206
00:07:25,915 --> 00:07:28,215
that of all the punishments
you've ever come up with,
207
00:07:28,250 --> 00:07:30,217
this is by far
the most brilliant.
208
00:07:30,252 --> 00:07:32,920
Unrelated, can you start
this orange for me?
209
00:07:32,955 --> 00:07:34,655
I don't know how.
210
00:07:36,859 --> 00:07:38,025
[ Knocks ]
211
00:07:42,898 --> 00:07:44,098
I got you dinner.
212
00:07:44,133 --> 00:07:45,732
You couldn't leave
a ladder for me?
213
00:07:45,768 --> 00:07:47,801
My mom would see it.
It's too dangerous.
214
00:07:47,837 --> 00:07:50,804
No, what's dangerous
is crawling past Hayley's room
215
00:07:50,840 --> 00:07:52,906
with a plate
full of chipped beef.
216
00:07:52,942 --> 00:07:55,008
Wait, her room's
on the other side of the hou--
217
00:07:55,044 --> 00:07:57,578
Let's not get bogged down
in the details
218
00:07:57,613 --> 00:07:59,646
about who was
masturbating where.
219
00:07:59,682 --> 00:08:02,182
You just have to end this war
with your mom.
220
00:08:02,218 --> 00:08:04,852
I tried,
but she wants to keep fighting,
221
00:08:04,887 --> 00:08:06,753
so now I'm in it to win it.
222
00:08:06,789 --> 00:08:09,223
Look at yourself.
You've already lost, bud.
223
00:08:09,258 --> 00:08:11,225
You stink, and you're starving.
224
00:08:11,260 --> 00:08:13,293
And you're not
wearing underwear.
225
00:08:13,329 --> 00:08:14,928
How can you tell that?
226
00:08:14,964 --> 00:08:17,631
We're best friends.
I know your body.
227
00:08:17,666 --> 00:08:19,166
If you're not gonna make up
with your mom,
228
00:08:19,201 --> 00:08:21,001
you've got to learn
to take care of yourself.
229
00:08:21,036 --> 00:08:22,936
But how?
230
00:08:22,972 --> 00:08:25,005
Remember when I straightened
my hair that summer?
231
00:08:25,040 --> 00:08:27,141
Of course I remember.
232
00:08:27,176 --> 00:08:29,776
You didn't swim all summer.
233
00:08:29,812 --> 00:08:32,179
But I never looked so good.
234
00:08:32,214 --> 00:08:34,982
A lot of guys hit on me
from behind.
235
00:08:35,017 --> 00:08:36,717
Dum dee do bee dum
236
00:08:36,752 --> 00:08:39,186
wah wah wah wah
237
00:08:39,221 --> 00:08:40,721
dum dum...
238
00:08:40,756 --> 00:08:43,590
The point is,
I learned to do my hair myself
239
00:08:43,626 --> 00:08:45,592
from watching YouTube videos.
240
00:08:45,628 --> 00:08:48,028
And you can learn to cook
the same way.
241
00:08:48,063 --> 00:08:49,663
What are you hungry for?
242
00:08:49,698 --> 00:08:51,598
Pancakes.
243
00:08:51,634 --> 00:08:53,133
Your journey begins now.
244
00:08:53,169 --> 00:08:54,701
But whatever you do,
245
00:08:54,737 --> 00:08:57,971
don't get sidetracked
by snakebite videos.
246
00:08:58,007 --> 00:09:01,008
They're always one click away,
and they're very addictive.
247
00:09:01,043 --> 00:09:03,243
I wouldn't want to watch
snakebite videos.
248
00:09:03,279 --> 00:09:04,678
Good.
249
00:09:04,713 --> 00:09:06,113
Good.
250
00:09:13,189 --> 00:09:15,088
"OMG," huh?
251
00:09:15,124 --> 00:09:17,124
Let's see
what all the fuss is about.
252
00:09:17,159 --> 00:09:19,593
[Hissing]
Whoa, that's a king cobra!
253
00:09:19,628 --> 00:09:20,994
Why are you taunting him?
254
00:09:21,030 --> 00:09:21,995
Oh, he got him.
255
00:09:22,031 --> 00:09:23,230
Oh, he got him again!
256
00:09:23,265 --> 00:09:24,331
And again!
257
00:09:24,366 --> 00:09:27,067
It's just a series of strikes!
258
00:09:27,102 --> 00:09:28,802
Whoa!
259
00:09:28,837 --> 00:09:30,804
That was stressful.
260
00:09:30,839 --> 00:09:32,873
Okay, just one more.
261
00:09:34,343 --> 00:09:36,910
Dude, drop the camera
and help your friend.
262
00:09:36,946 --> 00:09:38,712
He got bit by a rattlesnake!
263
00:09:38,747 --> 00:09:40,647
He is dying!
264
00:09:41,884 --> 00:09:43,250
Oh, what's a black mamba?
265
00:09:43,285 --> 00:09:44,985
Wonder if they're friendly --
266
00:09:45,020 --> 00:09:46,386
[hissing]
Oh, God, they're not!
267
00:09:46,422 --> 00:09:47,754
They're not!
268
00:09:47,790 --> 00:09:49,790
Oh! Why am I so hungry?!
269
00:09:49,825 --> 00:09:52,092
Oh, yeah.
Pancake videos.
270
00:09:52,127 --> 00:09:54,261
Let's see what we got here.
271
00:09:54,296 --> 00:09:55,996
"Pan-snakes"? Sure.
272
00:09:56,031 --> 00:09:57,831
No!
273
00:10:00,302 --> 00:10:01,969
These are amazing, Steve!
274
00:10:02,004 --> 00:10:04,104
They remind me
of this wonderful meal
275
00:10:04,139 --> 00:10:05,172
I had on the cape.
276
00:10:05,207 --> 00:10:07,040
Ohh, what was the dish?
277
00:10:07,076 --> 00:10:08,976
That's right --
pancakes.
278
00:10:09,011 --> 00:10:11,878
Oh, look who learned to cook.
279
00:10:11,914 --> 00:10:15,048
Guess somebody's ready to make
a little peace offering?
280
00:10:15,084 --> 00:10:16,416
The only thing I'm offering
281
00:10:16,452 --> 00:10:18,185
is a boysenberry-lemon
reduction.
282
00:10:19,989 --> 00:10:21,121
But not to you.
283
00:10:21,156 --> 00:10:22,889
Oh, for God's sake, Steve.
Grow up.
284
00:10:22,925 --> 00:10:24,291
I have grown up, mother.
285
00:10:24,326 --> 00:10:26,827
I've grown up a lot
in the last eight hours.
286
00:10:26,862 --> 00:10:28,028
I learned how to cook,
287
00:10:28,063 --> 00:10:29,763
how to set a dryer
for delicates,
288
00:10:29,798 --> 00:10:31,865
and how to suck venom
out of a snakebite.
289
00:10:31,900 --> 00:10:33,734
Now I don't need you
for anything.
290
00:10:33,769 --> 00:10:35,936
He's right, Francine.
Those are all the things.
291
00:10:35,971 --> 00:10:37,371
Whose side are you on anyway?
292
00:10:37,406 --> 00:10:39,072
Whoever makes the best pancakes.
293
00:10:39,108 --> 00:10:41,174
I'm on your side, mom.
294
00:10:41,210 --> 00:10:43,877
Maple syrup
stuck-stuck.
295
00:10:43,912 --> 00:10:46,380
[ Strained ]
You may be feeling...
296
00:10:46,415 --> 00:10:49,916
like you've got it
all figured out, young man.
297
00:10:49,952 --> 00:10:52,319
No more soap in your pancakes...
298
00:10:52,354 --> 00:10:54,788
clothes all clean.
[ Grunts ]
299
00:10:54,823 --> 00:10:56,089
[ Muffled ]
But trust me --
300
00:10:56,125 --> 00:10:57,691
[ grunts ]
301
00:10:57,726 --> 00:11:00,794
you're gonna realize
sooner or later that --
302
00:11:00,829 --> 00:11:01,928
[ grunts ]
303
00:11:01,964 --> 00:11:06,033
every boy needs his mother!
304
00:11:06,068 --> 00:11:08,435
Stan, will you join me
in the other room?
305
00:11:08,470 --> 00:11:11,071
I think we should have
a long conversation
306
00:11:11,106 --> 00:11:12,873
about parenting decisions.
307
00:11:12,908 --> 00:11:13,874
Uh-oh.
308
00:11:13,909 --> 00:11:14,975
[ Snaps ] Gone.
309
00:11:15,010 --> 00:11:16,777
[ Sighs ]
Off to work.
310
00:11:18,247 --> 00:11:21,448
Steve, how did you learn
to cook like this?
311
00:11:23,519 --> 00:11:26,987
Got the recipe off YouTube,
but I made it my own.
312
00:11:27,022 --> 00:11:29,890
You know, I should make
my own cooking videos.
313
00:11:29,925 --> 00:11:33,060
Give back to the community
and rub it in mom's face.
314
00:11:33,095 --> 00:11:34,294
Oh, you totally should.
315
00:11:34,330 --> 00:11:36,196
But what would you call
your channel?
316
00:11:36,231 --> 00:11:39,333
Oh! Oh! How about
a taste of Steve?
317
00:11:39,368 --> 00:11:40,500
Mouthful of Steve.
318
00:11:40,536 --> 00:11:41,968
Steve in your mouth.
319
00:11:42,004 --> 00:11:43,770
Stop me when you hear one
you like.
320
00:11:43,806 --> 00:11:45,972
A taste of Steve in your mouth.
321
00:11:46,008 --> 00:11:47,207
That's all I got.
322
00:11:49,878 --> 00:11:51,345
Hey, Stan, great news!
323
00:11:51,380 --> 00:11:53,513
My daughter's soccer team
qualified for regionals.
324
00:11:53,549 --> 00:11:55,315
So we're trying to raise
money for --
325
00:11:55,351 --> 00:11:56,783
You know what, Jackson?
326
00:11:56,819 --> 00:11:58,752
This might be crazy,
but I'm gonna try something.
327
00:11:58,787 --> 00:12:00,087
[ Snaps ] Gone.
328
00:12:00,122 --> 00:12:01,388
It worked!
329
00:12:04,093 --> 00:12:05,158
What?
330
00:12:05,194 --> 00:12:06,126
[ Snaps ] Gone.
331
00:12:06,161 --> 00:12:07,094
[ Snaps ] Gone.
332
00:12:07,129 --> 00:12:08,829
[ Snaps ] Gone.
333
00:12:09,932 --> 00:12:11,898
Smith, you can't
just barge in here --
334
00:12:11,934 --> 00:12:12,999
[ snaps ] Gone.
335
00:12:13,035 --> 00:12:14,968
Alone in the boss's office.
336
00:12:15,003 --> 00:12:16,503
Let's try out the chair.
337
00:12:19,541 --> 00:12:22,209
[ Sighs ]
Deputy Director Smith.
338
00:12:22,244 --> 00:12:24,077
First order of business,
339
00:12:24,113 --> 00:12:26,380
get a less erect chair.
340
00:12:26,415 --> 00:12:28,949
Now, once we've put
the souffle in the oven,
341
00:12:28,984 --> 00:12:31,017
we can start prepping
the coq au vin.
342
00:12:31,053 --> 00:12:32,352
This classic peasant dish
343
00:12:32,388 --> 00:12:34,321
is not as complicated
as it looks.
344
00:12:34,356 --> 00:12:36,156
I'm a kid, so the hardest part
345
00:12:36,191 --> 00:12:37,290
is getting the wine.
346
00:12:37,326 --> 00:12:38,992
[ Tink! ]
347
00:12:39,027 --> 00:12:41,261
So many views.
348
00:12:41,296 --> 00:12:43,130
That's all for now.
349
00:12:43,165 --> 00:12:45,432
I'm the Orphan Chef,wishing you smaklig maltid.
350
00:12:45,467 --> 00:12:47,534
That's Swedish for bon app?tit.
351
00:12:47,569 --> 00:12:49,102
Am I Swedish?
352
00:12:49,138 --> 00:12:51,538
I don't know.My mother abandoned me.
353
00:12:51,573 --> 00:12:53,173
That little jerk.
354
00:12:53,208 --> 00:12:55,208
Where does he get off
insulting me like that?
355
00:12:55,244 --> 00:12:58,078
Hey, an orphan means
he also doesn't have a father.
356
00:12:58,113 --> 00:12:59,980
Well, that part's kind of true.
357
00:13:00,015 --> 00:13:01,047
[ Doorbell rings ]
358
00:13:02,951 --> 00:13:04,050
Oh, my God!
359
00:13:04,086 --> 00:13:05,819
Charlie Greenfield,
360
00:13:05,854 --> 00:13:08,221
executive producer
of "Morning Mimosa"!
361
00:13:08,257 --> 00:13:09,823
Did I finally get tickets?
362
00:13:09,858 --> 00:13:11,858
No, no. These hands
don't deliver tickets.
363
00:13:11,894 --> 00:13:13,193
Well, this one does.
364
00:13:13,228 --> 00:13:15,228
But this one finds
the stars of tomorrow.
365
00:13:15,264 --> 00:13:19,232
And there he is --
the Orphan Chef.
366
00:13:19,268 --> 00:13:22,002
Sorry, buddy, you got to order
aprons off the website.
367
00:13:22,037 --> 00:13:24,037
No, I'm here
from "Morning Mimosa"
368
00:13:24,072 --> 00:13:27,007
and we want you to come down
and do half a segment --
369
00:13:27,042 --> 00:13:28,074
Half a segment?!
370
00:13:28,110 --> 00:13:29,609
Live, tomorrow morning.
371
00:13:29,645 --> 00:13:31,044
Live, tomorrow mor--
372
00:13:31,079 --> 00:13:32,379
So you're interested?
373
00:13:32,414 --> 00:13:34,114
Great. I'll send a limo
in the morning.
374
00:13:34,149 --> 00:13:35,582
[ Muffled ] Send a limo?!
375
00:13:35,617 --> 00:13:38,251
Steve, I don't know
if you're ready to perform live
376
00:13:38,287 --> 00:13:41,021
in front of the most hostile
audience in television.
377
00:13:41,056 --> 00:13:42,289
You're just jealous
378
00:13:42,324 --> 00:13:44,057
'cause I'm getting
out of this dump.
379
00:13:44,092 --> 00:13:45,892
She's just jealous.
I can tell.
380
00:13:45,928 --> 00:13:48,962
Now, let us know if you have
anybody that needs tickets.
381
00:13:48,997 --> 00:13:51,565
Perhaps this haggard lady
who runs the orphanage?
382
00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:54,501
Nah. Just give those tickets
away to someone in need.
383
00:13:54,536 --> 00:13:55,869
What an amazing boy.
384
00:13:55,904 --> 00:13:57,471
If it weren't for his face,
385
00:13:57,506 --> 00:14:00,507
I'd be completely baffled
about why he was abandoned.
386
00:14:02,511 --> 00:14:04,344
Half a segment?!
387
00:14:05,344 --> 00:14:06,677
[ Applause ]
388
00:14:06,712 --> 00:14:08,879
We gave
our homely housewife, Jan,
389
00:14:08,915 --> 00:14:10,681
the makeover treatment.
390
00:14:10,716 --> 00:14:12,182
New clothes, new 'do.
391
00:14:12,218 --> 00:14:14,151
How do you think she looks?
392
00:14:14,186 --> 00:14:15,686
[ Drum roll ]
393
00:14:15,721 --> 00:14:17,788
[ Audience boos ]
394
00:14:17,823 --> 00:14:22,026
Ohh, looks like
we got another one.
395
00:14:22,061 --> 00:14:24,128
Jan is...
396
00:14:24,163 --> 00:14:27,131
unsalvageable!
397
00:14:27,166 --> 00:14:29,934
[ Audience jeers ]
398
00:14:29,969 --> 00:14:32,069
Bleh!
399
00:14:32,104 --> 00:14:33,704
Pretty hot crowd today.
400
00:14:33,739 --> 00:14:36,006
Yeah, it's Maximum
Mimosa Monday.
401
00:14:36,042 --> 00:14:38,042
They're gonna kill your son.
402
00:14:38,077 --> 00:14:39,310
Welcome to our studio.
403
00:14:39,345 --> 00:14:41,645
So, this is where
the magic happens.
404
00:14:41,681 --> 00:14:44,014
The real magic will happen
when I cook today.
405
00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:45,883
The only thing I melt
faster than butter
406
00:14:45,918 --> 00:14:47,284
is people's hearts.
407
00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:49,887
Anyone ever tell you
that you have the confidence
408
00:14:49,922 --> 00:14:52,222
of a white kid
with upper-middle-class parents?
409
00:14:53,426 --> 00:14:56,994
Open your mouths, you animals!
410
00:14:57,029 --> 00:14:59,096
This way to the green room.
411
00:14:59,131 --> 00:15:00,297
[ Cheering ]
412
00:15:00,333 --> 00:15:01,865
Ha! Ha! Ha!
413
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:04,134
So, you'll be on
after the dancing monkeys.
414
00:15:04,170 --> 00:15:06,203
This is the first time
they've been on
415
00:15:06,238 --> 00:15:07,204
since the attack.
416
00:15:07,239 --> 00:15:08,772
They attacked the audience?
417
00:15:08,808 --> 00:15:09,940
Oh God, no.
418
00:15:09,976 --> 00:15:12,209
The audience
attacked the monkeys.
419
00:15:12,244 --> 00:15:13,644
[ Glass shatters ]
420
00:15:13,679 --> 00:15:15,679
[ Audience chanting "More" ]
421
00:15:15,715 --> 00:15:17,848
Woman:
Relax, mommy's here.
422
00:15:17,883 --> 00:15:19,283
Mommy?
423
00:15:19,318 --> 00:15:20,417
I'm not their real mommy.
424
00:15:20,453 --> 00:15:22,052
I killed her in the Congo.
425
00:15:22,088 --> 00:15:24,989
These guys get so nervous
before they perform.
426
00:15:25,024 --> 00:15:27,091
Well, we better get out there.
427
00:15:28,361 --> 00:15:30,194
[ Waltz music plays ]
428
00:15:30,229 --> 00:15:31,895
Everything's fine.
429
00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:33,664
The dancing monkeys
will -- will put the audience
430
00:15:33,699 --> 00:15:34,832
in a great mood.
431
00:15:34,867 --> 00:15:36,867
That's not dancing!
It's hopping!
432
00:15:36,902 --> 00:15:39,303
Kill the monkeys!
433
00:15:39,338 --> 00:15:40,838
[ Monkey shrieks ]
434
00:15:40,873 --> 00:15:43,474
[ Audience boos ]
435
00:15:45,745 --> 00:15:47,378
[ Snaps ] Gone.
[ Snaps ] Gone.
436
00:15:47,413 --> 00:15:49,013
[ Snaps ] Gone.
437
00:15:49,048 --> 00:15:50,848
Last man on earth.
438
00:15:53,185 --> 00:15:55,919
[ Tires screech, horn honks ]
439
00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:59,056
Nothing but empty spots.
440
00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:02,860
What the hell, man?
441
00:16:02,895 --> 00:16:04,028
[ Snaps ] Gone.
442
00:16:04,063 --> 00:16:05,229
Aww.
443
00:16:08,067 --> 00:16:10,367
Day 10.
No signs of life.
444
00:16:12,505 --> 00:16:14,772
[ Audience chanting,
glass shatters ]
445
00:16:14,807 --> 00:16:17,074
Those women shaved my head!
446
00:16:17,109 --> 00:16:18,776
They shaved my head!
447
00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:20,177
Where are the monkeys?
448
00:16:20,212 --> 00:16:22,046
They escaped to the rafters!
449
00:16:22,915 --> 00:16:25,049
No more mimosas!
450
00:16:25,084 --> 00:16:27,251
They've had enough mimosas!
451
00:16:27,286 --> 00:16:28,252
[ Grunts ]
452
00:16:28,287 --> 00:16:29,286
Aaaah!
453
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:34,124
Where do you think you're going?
454
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:35,325
You're on!
455
00:16:35,361 --> 00:16:37,094
They're ready...
456
00:16:37,129 --> 00:16:38,796
for you!
457
00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:40,497
Next up, whoo!
458
00:16:40,533 --> 00:16:45,869
[ Slurring ] We have a YouTube sensation
known as the Orphan Chef.
459
00:16:45,905 --> 00:16:48,806
He was abandoned by his mother,
460
00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:52,109
and he learned to cook
gourmet cuisine
461
00:16:52,144 --> 00:16:53,477
all by himself.
462
00:16:53,512 --> 00:16:55,345
[ Belches ]
Amazing.
463
00:16:55,381 --> 00:16:57,314
Welcome the orphan chef!
464
00:16:57,349 --> 00:16:59,049
[ Cheers and applause ]
465
00:16:59,085 --> 00:17:01,118
Great to have you here.
466
00:17:01,153 --> 00:17:02,119
Mimosa?
467
00:17:02,154 --> 00:17:03,287
I'm 14.
468
00:17:03,322 --> 00:17:05,355
Who's gonna find out,
your mother?
469
00:17:05,391 --> 00:17:06,890
[ Laughs ]
470
00:17:06,926 --> 00:17:08,759
So, what are you
gonna cook for us?
471
00:17:08,794 --> 00:17:10,027
I'm starving!
472
00:17:10,062 --> 00:17:12,963
Uh...I-I-I wanted to make
my specialty,
473
00:17:12,998 --> 00:17:14,131
u-uh, coq a vin.
474
00:17:14,166 --> 00:17:15,799
What the hell is that?
475
00:17:15,835 --> 00:17:16,967
French chicken!
476
00:17:18,370 --> 00:17:21,605
I-it's, um, m-much easier
than you think.
477
00:17:21,725 --> 00:17:24,108
I'm a kid,
so the hardest part is...
478
00:17:24,143 --> 00:17:25,362
is...
479
00:17:25,482 --> 00:17:26,543
Is what?
480
00:17:26,579 --> 00:17:28,445
What is it?
Finish your sentence!
481
00:17:28,481 --> 00:17:30,848
Is wine...
482
00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:32,216
getting.
483
00:17:34,120 --> 00:17:35,319
[ Chuckles ]
484
00:17:35,354 --> 00:17:37,988
I'll just start the dish.
485
00:17:38,023 --> 00:17:39,990
You grew up without a mom.
486
00:17:40,025 --> 00:17:42,159
Tell us how terrible that was.
487
00:17:42,194 --> 00:17:44,128
It -- it wasn't
that bad.
488
00:17:44,163 --> 00:17:45,262
Yes, it was.
489
00:17:45,297 --> 00:17:46,830
No mom to kiss
your boo-boos?
490
00:17:46,866 --> 00:17:49,066
No mom to hold you
after a bad day.
491
00:17:49,101 --> 00:17:51,101
Who celebrated your birthday
and tucked you in at night?
492
00:17:51,137 --> 00:17:52,336
Your mom?
Not likely.
493
00:17:52,371 --> 00:17:53,804
As if.
So sad.
494
00:17:53,839 --> 00:17:56,406
I-I really should
focus on -- on this.
495
00:17:56,442 --> 00:17:58,509
You know what I just realized?
496
00:17:58,544 --> 00:18:01,044
This kid has no mom!
497
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,480
[ Audience gasps ]
What? No mom?
498
00:18:03,516 --> 00:18:05,382
Nope.
If he died here today,
499
00:18:05,417 --> 00:18:07,885
there would be no mommy
to mourn him.
500
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:09,853
And no mommy to press charges.
501
00:18:09,889 --> 00:18:11,455
How did this get so dark?
502
00:18:11,490 --> 00:18:12,556
[ Timer dings ]
503
00:18:12,591 --> 00:18:14,324
Oh, thank God.
It's ready.
504
00:18:16,061 --> 00:18:17,561
What is that crap?
505
00:18:19,298 --> 00:18:21,398
I-I made an omelet.
506
00:18:21,433 --> 00:18:24,067
A mac and cheese omelet.
507
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:26,370
But I'm hungry for chicken!
508
00:18:26,405 --> 00:18:28,972
Why did you make this for us?
509
00:18:29,008 --> 00:18:30,607
Because I was nervous.
510
00:18:30,643 --> 00:18:32,242
And every time I eat this,
511
00:18:32,278 --> 00:18:34,611
it makes me feel good
and safe and loved.
512
00:18:34,647 --> 00:18:36,079
Why?!
513
00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:38,949
Because my mom
makes it for me, okay?
514
00:18:38,984 --> 00:18:40,083
[ Audience gasps ]
515
00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:42,119
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh.
Uh-oh.
516
00:18:42,154 --> 00:18:44,188
[ Scoffs ]
Y-you have a mom?
517
00:18:44,223 --> 00:18:46,223
Who fact-checked
this shit?
518
00:18:46,258 --> 00:18:48,458
B-but I-I went
to the orphanage.
519
00:18:48,494 --> 00:18:51,995
It don't add up, I tell ya!
It don't add up!
520
00:18:52,498 --> 00:18:53,931
And you...
521
00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:55,365
coming here,
522
00:18:55,401 --> 00:18:58,068
lying about
your parental status,
523
00:18:58,103 --> 00:18:59,436
promising chicken.
524
00:18:59,471 --> 00:19:01,305
Who do you think you are?
525
00:19:01,340 --> 00:19:03,073
Francine:
He's my son!
526
00:19:03,108 --> 00:19:04,308
[ Audience gasps ]
527
00:19:04,343 --> 00:19:06,076
[ Glass clatters ]
528
00:19:06,111 --> 00:19:07,978
Mom?
You're here!
529
00:19:08,013 --> 00:19:10,280
Of course I am.
530
00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:13,984
I will always be here for you.
531
00:19:14,019 --> 00:19:17,154
I'm so sorry I said
those terrible words to you.
532
00:19:17,189 --> 00:19:21,091
Get this crybaby loser
and his loser mother
533
00:19:21,126 --> 00:19:22,326
off my show!
534
00:19:22,361 --> 00:19:24,995
I know where to put them!
535
00:19:25,030 --> 00:19:26,496
[ Bottle clatters ]
536
00:19:26,532 --> 00:19:27,664
What -- it --
537
00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:29,166
but [Sighs]
538
00:19:29,201 --> 00:19:31,335
you were gonna drop us
in the pit?
539
00:19:31,370 --> 00:19:34,571
You know what,
Trish, the Sizzle?
540
00:19:34,607 --> 00:19:36,940
Fuck you!
541
00:19:36,976 --> 00:19:38,075
[ Audience gasps ]
542
00:19:38,110 --> 00:19:39,610
Sometimes it's okay to say it.
543
00:19:39,645 --> 00:19:40,611
Like now.
544
00:19:40,646 --> 00:19:42,346
Or when you're driving.
545
00:19:42,381 --> 00:19:46,049
Turn off the cameras
and lock the doors.
546
00:19:46,085 --> 00:19:48,652
No, Sues.
Please. Not again.
547
00:19:48,687 --> 00:19:50,053
Rage!
Rage!
548
00:19:50,089 --> 00:19:52,456
Ra-a-a-ge!
Ra-a-a-ge!
549
00:19:52,491 --> 00:19:54,291
All: Rage!
550
00:19:54,326 --> 00:19:56,393
[ Screaming ]
551
00:19:56,428 --> 00:19:58,362
Mom, what do we do?
552
00:20:00,065 --> 00:20:02,966
Follow the monkeys to freedom!
553
00:20:03,002 --> 00:20:05,068
[ Rock music plays ]
554
00:20:05,104 --> 00:20:08,138
[ Screaming continues ]
555
00:20:21,420 --> 00:20:24,021
I-I can't do it!
556
00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:25,956
I'm not strong enough!
557
00:20:25,991 --> 00:20:28,025
Don't worry.
Mama's got you.
558
00:20:29,395 --> 00:20:30,460
Aah!
559
00:20:33,432 --> 00:20:35,499
Although he refuses
to acknowledge anyone,
560
00:20:35,534 --> 00:20:38,235
the naked man in the supermarket
has been apprehended.
561
00:20:38,270 --> 00:20:39,503
Oh, my God!
562
00:20:39,538 --> 00:20:40,570
Aah!
563
00:20:40,606 --> 00:20:42,172
Oh. Hi, Francine,
Steve.
564
00:20:45,817 --> 00:20:46,865
Who's doing this to me?
565
00:20:46,985 --> 00:20:48,665
Who are you? Show yourself!
566
00:20:51,221 --> 00:20:58,683
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
567
00:20:58,733 --> 00:21:03,283
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
38267
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