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1
00:00:01,935 --> 00:00:03,636
[ Snoring ]
2
00:00:03,670 --> 00:00:05,905
Gwen! Where are you?!
3
00:00:05,939 --> 00:00:08,174
[ Thunder crashes ]
4
00:00:08,208 --> 00:00:10,042
[ Suspenseful music plays ]
5
00:00:10,077 --> 00:00:12,739
Gwen?
6
00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:16,816
Has anyone seen my sister, Gwen?
7
00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:18,818
[ Thunder crashes ]
8
00:00:23,824 --> 00:00:26,692
[ Fire crackling ]
9
00:00:29,229 --> 00:00:31,797
Gwen!
Got a light?
10
00:00:31,832 --> 00:00:33,232
[ Foosh! ]
11
00:00:33,266 --> 00:00:35,668
[ Snarls ]
12
00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:37,470
Aah!
13
00:00:37,504 --> 00:00:40,506
[ Deep voice ]
This girl is on fire!
14
00:00:42,576 --> 00:00:44,343
[ Snarls ]
15
00:00:44,378 --> 00:00:45,811
Scott:
Psst. Up here.
16
00:00:45,846 --> 00:00:47,546
Francine:
[ Gasps ] Scott Baio!
17
00:00:47,581 --> 00:00:50,149
Are you here to save me?
Sort of.
18
00:00:50,183 --> 00:00:52,485
I'm here to tell you
you're pulling on push doors.
19
00:00:52,519 --> 00:00:55,087
Oh.
[ Gwen snarls ]
20
00:00:55,122 --> 00:00:56,856
[ Light switch clicks ]
Bad dream?
21
00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:58,057
[ Sighs ]
22
00:00:58,091 --> 00:00:59,358
I-I-I guess I'm nervous
23
00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:01,794
about my sister
coming to visit today.
24
00:01:01,828 --> 00:01:03,929
Also, I really need to get over
25
00:01:03,964 --> 00:01:05,965
my obsession with Scott Baio.
26
00:01:05,999 --> 00:01:08,100
Good luck.
27
00:01:08,135 --> 00:01:10,069
[ Snores ]
28
00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:15,274
Good morning, U.S.A.
29
00:01:15,308 --> 00:01:19,278
I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day
30
00:01:19,312 --> 00:01:22,381
the sun in the sky
has a smile on his face
31
00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:26,519
and he's shinin' a salute
to the American race
32
00:01:28,455 --> 00:01:32,024
oh, boy, it's swell to say
33
00:01:32,059 --> 00:01:34,160
Good --
Good morning, U.S.A.
34
00:01:34,194 --> 00:01:40,132
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
35
00:01:43,113 --> 00:01:44,981
Come on, let's finish breakfast
36
00:01:45,015 --> 00:01:47,050
so we can clean up
before Gwen gets here.
37
00:01:47,084 --> 00:01:49,018
God, you always turn
into a nervous wreck
38
00:01:49,053 --> 00:01:50,520
when it comes to aunt Gwen.
39
00:01:50,554 --> 00:01:51,754
Nonsense.
40
00:01:51,789 --> 00:01:54,357
Now, who wants coffee?
41
00:01:54,391 --> 00:01:57,427
Woof! Klaus,
you take decaf, right?
42
00:01:57,461 --> 00:01:59,662
In the evenings, yes,
but in the morning,
43
00:01:59,697 --> 00:02:01,831
I drink [slurring] whatever.
44
00:02:01,865 --> 00:02:04,567
Hey, let's dance.
Where are you going?
45
00:02:04,602 --> 00:02:06,803
Oh, you should have seen
your mom last night.
46
00:02:06,837 --> 00:02:08,504
Nightmare after nightmare.
47
00:02:08,539 --> 00:02:11,641
She was a-tossin' and a-turnin',
like a T.Rex on its back.
48
00:02:11,675 --> 00:02:14,711
[ Growling ]
49
00:02:14,745 --> 00:02:17,113
Boy, oh, boy,
did she look stupid.
50
00:02:17,147 --> 00:02:19,382
Just dumb.
Here, see for yourself.
51
00:02:19,416 --> 00:02:20,984
[ Stan laughing ]
52
00:02:21,018 --> 00:02:23,553
Boy, oh, boy,do you look stupid.
53
00:02:23,587 --> 00:02:24,988
Just dumb.
54
00:02:25,022 --> 00:02:27,957
It seems like forever
since Gwen's been here.
55
00:02:27,992 --> 00:02:30,893
Mom, why is your relationship
with aunt Gwen so weird?
56
00:02:30,928 --> 00:02:33,129
Is -- is it because you're adopted?
No.
57
00:02:33,163 --> 00:02:35,832
Is it because I'm so vocal about
how attracted I am to her?
58
00:02:35,866 --> 00:02:39,135
No, although it isn't
my all-time favorite thing.
59
00:02:39,169 --> 00:02:41,104
She's a [high-pitched] fox.
60
00:02:41,138 --> 00:02:43,106
Can't wait to see my sexy aunt.
61
00:02:43,140 --> 00:02:44,941
[ Vocalizing ]
62
00:02:44,975 --> 00:02:48,611
Who I'm not related to by blood.
[ Clears throat ]
63
00:02:48,646 --> 00:02:51,147
The problem is -- aunt Gwen
is a convicted criminal,
64
00:02:51,181 --> 00:02:52,982
and all she ever does
is use mom.
65
00:02:53,017 --> 00:02:55,752
She's my sister.
Sometimes she leans on me.
66
00:02:55,786 --> 00:02:57,420
"Leans" on you?
67
00:02:57,454 --> 00:02:59,922
The last time she visited,
she rented a car in your name
68
00:02:59,957 --> 00:03:02,025
and drove it through
her bookie's apartment.
69
00:03:02,059 --> 00:03:03,526
When we toured universities,
70
00:03:03,560 --> 00:03:05,028
we had to take
the bus everywhere.
71
00:03:05,062 --> 00:03:06,195
What you do you care?
72
00:03:06,230 --> 00:03:07,897
You ended up
at community college.
73
00:03:07,931 --> 00:03:09,766
'Cause that's where
the bus went!
74
00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:10,967
She's family!
75
00:03:11,001 --> 00:03:12,635
I can't turn her away.
76
00:03:12,670 --> 00:03:14,470
That's exactly what
you should do.
77
00:03:14,505 --> 00:03:17,073
[ Light switch clicking, thunder rumbling ]
Drama!
78
00:03:17,107 --> 00:03:19,475
What is that?
It's a thunder sheet.
79
00:03:19,510 --> 00:03:21,644
It's useful for highlighting
dramatic moments.
80
00:03:21,679 --> 00:03:24,013
I ordered it when Stan's mom was
gonna sleep with the gardener.
81
00:03:24,048 --> 00:03:26,015
She didn't do that.
Yeah. She did.
82
00:03:26,050 --> 00:03:29,052
But nobody knew it because it
wasn't highlighted. [ Rumbling ]
83
00:03:29,086 --> 00:03:31,654
He might not have mowed the lawn
for two weeks,
84
00:03:31,689 --> 00:03:33,790
but he took real good care
of that bush.
85
00:03:33,824 --> 00:03:37,126
[ Rumbling ] I'll be using
this as a rim shot, as well.
86
00:03:37,246 --> 00:03:39,078
Klaus: [ Slurring ]
There's a cab pulling up!
87
00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:41,293
Now there's a plane in the sky.
88
00:03:41,328 --> 00:03:43,629
Well, well, well,
if there isn't a little dog
89
00:03:43,663 --> 00:03:46,132
across the street.
Sober up, Klaus.
90
00:03:46,166 --> 00:03:48,534
Stan, Steve, Gwen's here!
91
00:03:48,568 --> 00:03:49,935
Stan: Hup!
Steve: Hup!
92
00:03:49,970 --> 00:03:51,137
Hup!
Hup!
93
00:03:51,171 --> 00:03:52,338
Hup!
Hup!
94
00:03:52,372 --> 00:03:54,407
I thought you said
Gwen was here.
95
00:03:54,441 --> 00:03:56,442
[ Doorbell rings ]
96
00:03:59,279 --> 00:04:01,013
Hello, Francine.
97
00:04:01,048 --> 00:04:03,082
Gwen, you look great.
98
00:04:03,116 --> 00:04:05,151
Wow, Gwen's so beautiful.
99
00:04:05,185 --> 00:04:07,920
I-it's making me have feelings
I don't understand.
100
00:04:07,954 --> 00:04:09,422
Ah, that's the tingle of desire
101
00:04:09,456 --> 00:04:11,957
for a woman you have no chance
of hooking up with.
102
00:04:11,992 --> 00:04:13,325
It's so frustrating.
103
00:04:13,360 --> 00:04:15,761
That's why I've developed
a sad technique
104
00:04:15,796 --> 00:04:17,730
that allows me to get
physically inappropriate
105
00:04:17,764 --> 00:04:19,165
with a person
without them knowing.
106
00:04:19,199 --> 00:04:21,133
I call it "the hug."
107
00:04:21,168 --> 00:04:22,868
I know what a hug is, dad.
108
00:04:22,903 --> 00:04:24,236
Oh. Okay.
109
00:04:24,271 --> 00:04:26,038
Well, then, good luck to you.
110
00:04:26,073 --> 00:04:27,673
Oh, no, dad,
I-I'm sorry.
111
00:04:27,707 --> 00:04:28,874
I-I spoke too soon.
112
00:04:28,909 --> 00:04:30,676
You did.
You did speak too soon.
113
00:04:30,710 --> 00:04:32,244
Now watch this.
114
00:04:32,279 --> 00:04:34,677
Gwen, it's been too long.
115
00:04:35,358 --> 00:04:36,492
Face to neck.
116
00:04:36,526 --> 00:04:37,926
Hand to lower back.
117
00:04:37,961 --> 00:04:39,328
Pec to boob.
118
00:04:39,362 --> 00:04:41,330
I don't know shit about hugging.
119
00:04:41,364 --> 00:04:43,966
Aaaaand...
five Mississippi.
120
00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:46,001
What?
I'm afraid our time's up.
121
00:04:46,036 --> 00:04:48,604
Teach me that.
122
00:04:48,638 --> 00:04:50,339
Hi, Steve.
123
00:04:50,373 --> 00:04:52,574
Nooo-oo-oo!
124
00:04:52,609 --> 00:04:55,344
So, what brings you to town?
125
00:04:55,378 --> 00:04:56,712
[ Chuckles nervously ]
126
00:04:56,746 --> 00:04:58,814
I hope you're not
on the lam or anything.
127
00:04:58,848 --> 00:05:01,917
Can't a sister visit a sister
without needing an alibi?
128
00:05:01,951 --> 00:05:03,652
[ Doorbell rings ]
I need an alibi.
129
00:05:03,687 --> 00:05:04,920
That's my probation officer.
130
00:05:04,954 --> 00:05:06,522
I've lived here for 18 months.
131
00:05:06,556 --> 00:05:08,691
Oh, and none of us have been
selling fake cellphones.
132
00:05:08,725 --> 00:05:10,292
Together: What?!
133
00:05:10,326 --> 00:05:11,894
[ Light switch clicking, rumbling ]
Drama.
134
00:05:11,928 --> 00:05:13,896
Who is that? Get him out of here.
Roger.
135
00:05:13,930 --> 00:05:15,330
Fine, fine. I'm going.
136
00:05:15,365 --> 00:05:17,066
Just let me pack
my thunder sheet.
137
00:05:17,100 --> 00:05:18,534
Oh, what is the code?
138
00:05:18,568 --> 00:05:20,602
Okay, three-digit number,
obviously.
139
00:05:20,637 --> 00:05:23,072
I think it was
Brigitte Nielsen's weight.
140
00:05:23,106 --> 00:05:24,907
So the first number is 2.
141
00:05:24,941 --> 00:05:26,709
Hmm.
142
00:05:26,743 --> 00:05:28,610
Hmm.
143
00:05:28,645 --> 00:05:37,753
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
144
00:05:37,787 --> 00:05:40,422
[ Scoffs ] Seriously,
who is this guy?!
145
00:05:40,457 --> 00:05:42,324
[ Sighs ]
146
00:05:42,358 --> 00:05:44,760
[ Soft rumbling ]
147
00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:53,502
[ Loud crash ]
148
00:05:53,536 --> 00:05:56,004
He lives in the attic.
149
00:05:56,039 --> 00:05:57,940
He's human.
150
00:05:57,974 --> 00:06:00,542
[ Birds chirping ]
151
00:06:00,577 --> 00:06:03,679
So, you claim
you've lived here for...
152
00:06:03,713 --> 00:06:05,080
18 months.
153
00:06:05,115 --> 00:06:07,549
Right, Francine?
You bet.
154
00:06:07,584 --> 00:06:09,985
I've been teaching my sister
how to walk again
155
00:06:10,019 --> 00:06:11,854
after her
trolley-car accident.
156
00:06:11,888 --> 00:06:13,856
Show her what
I taught you, Francine.
157
00:06:13,890 --> 00:06:16,058
O-okay.
158
00:06:17,761 --> 00:06:19,995
This is crazy.
I know.
159
00:06:20,029 --> 00:06:21,830
Your aunt is a miracle worker,
160
00:06:21,865 --> 00:06:25,434
but your mom, obviously,
has a long way to go.
161
00:06:25,468 --> 00:06:28,403
So, I guess there's no way
you could have been
162
00:06:28,438 --> 00:06:32,040
in Houston last month selling
fake cellphones to the elderly.
163
00:06:32,075 --> 00:06:34,476
That's awful!
It sure is.
164
00:06:34,511 --> 00:06:35,811
One last thing --
165
00:06:35,845 --> 00:06:38,147
I need to check your purse
for narcotics.
166
00:06:39,983 --> 00:06:41,717
Oh, Gwen, thank you
167
00:06:41,751 --> 00:06:44,019
for bringing
the sweet'n low I asked for.
168
00:06:44,053 --> 00:06:45,721
[ Slurps ]
169
00:06:45,755 --> 00:06:48,657
We're so goddamn rich,
this is how we drink our coffee!
170
00:06:48,691 --> 00:06:49,858
[ Slurps ]
171
00:06:49,893 --> 00:06:51,460
Roger, Roger,
172
00:06:51,494 --> 00:06:53,829
you're missing all kinds
of drama downstairs.
173
00:06:53,863 --> 00:06:55,731
I know,
but my fellow cartographer
174
00:06:55,765 --> 00:06:58,534
Michael Edward Upton is dying,
and I must go to him.
175
00:06:58,568 --> 00:07:00,569
Oh, no.
Is he a dear friend?
176
00:07:00,603 --> 00:07:02,504
He was, but we had
a falling-out.
177
00:07:02,539 --> 00:07:03,839
He fell out of an airplane
178
00:07:03,873 --> 00:07:05,808
with a pirate chest
of treasure we'd stolen.
179
00:07:05,842 --> 00:07:07,543
Only he knows
where he buried it,
180
00:07:07,577 --> 00:07:08,977
but only I have the key.
181
00:07:09,012 --> 00:07:10,746
A standoff of sorts.
182
00:07:10,780 --> 00:07:15,450
For 20 years, but now it's time
to unbury the hatchet.
183
00:07:15,485 --> 00:07:17,753
Oh, part of the treasure
was a priceless hatchet.
184
00:07:17,787 --> 00:07:20,455
Of course.
The timing couldn't be worse, though.
185
00:07:20,490 --> 00:07:22,691
I'm needed here,
flicking lights on and off,
186
00:07:22,725 --> 00:07:26,161
making thunder sounds, and announcing drama.
I could do those things.
187
00:07:26,196 --> 00:07:28,864
Hang on, let me see
what my understudy is up to.
188
00:07:28,898 --> 00:07:30,766
[ Telephone rings ]
189
00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:32,768
[ Insects buzzing ]
190
00:07:32,802 --> 00:07:34,503
Okay, you got the job.
191
00:07:34,537 --> 00:07:36,705
But you report to him.
192
00:07:37,540 --> 00:07:39,908
Well, Gwen, I'm happy to say
that it's clear
193
00:07:39,943 --> 00:07:43,011
you are not involved
in any criminal activity.
194
00:07:43,046 --> 00:07:44,580
Be good.
195
00:07:44,614 --> 00:07:46,481
[ Engine turns over ]
196
00:07:47,717 --> 00:07:50,252
Bye! Drive safe.
197
00:07:54,157 --> 00:07:55,724
Put the fake phones in her room.
198
00:07:55,758 --> 00:07:57,025
She'll show you where it is.
199
00:07:57,060 --> 00:07:59,862
Are you --
are you planning to stay?
200
00:07:59,896 --> 00:08:01,496
Yeah, I'm gonna be
doing business
201
00:08:01,531 --> 00:08:02,865
around here for a little while.
202
00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:05,133
Mom, she's lying
to her probation officer.
203
00:08:05,168 --> 00:08:07,236
She's got a truck
full of fake phones.
204
00:08:07,270 --> 00:08:08,971
Yeah, Gwen.
205
00:08:09,005 --> 00:08:11,206
What is going on?
The less you know, the better.
206
00:08:11,241 --> 00:08:12,941
Okay.
207
00:08:12,976 --> 00:08:15,978
[ Upbeat music plays ]
208
00:08:20,971 --> 00:08:23,903
Mom, you need to see
what Gwen put in the garage.
209
00:08:24,143 --> 00:08:26,578
Show me new car!
210
00:08:26,613 --> 00:08:29,114
Gwen's running a sweatshop.
211
00:08:29,148 --> 00:08:31,049
You can't let her do this here.
212
00:08:31,084 --> 00:08:32,384
I'm surprised at you.
213
00:08:32,418 --> 00:08:34,586
This seems like
a wonderful opportunity
214
00:08:34,621 --> 00:08:36,388
to learn about Indian culture.
215
00:08:36,422 --> 00:08:37,623
[ Foreign accent ]
We're not Indian.
216
00:08:37,657 --> 00:08:39,057
We're Sri Lankan.
217
00:08:39,092 --> 00:08:41,460
Oh.
218
00:08:41,494 --> 00:08:44,196
We have rich
and storied heritage.
219
00:08:44,230 --> 00:08:46,398
I'm just not into it.
220
00:08:46,432 --> 00:08:49,668
Mom, I've dropped
Psychology 101 six times,
221
00:08:49,702 --> 00:08:51,603
so I know exactly
what you're doing.
222
00:08:51,638 --> 00:08:53,238
You're enabling her.
223
00:08:53,273 --> 00:08:56,575
Look, Gwen's had a tough road.
I know, I know.
224
00:08:56,609 --> 00:08:58,410
She burned down
your high school,
225
00:08:58,444 --> 00:08:59,645
and it destroyed her life.
226
00:08:59,679 --> 00:09:01,213
But she is an adult now,
227
00:09:01,247 --> 00:09:03,415
and you don't have to keep
cleaning up her messes.
228
00:09:03,449 --> 00:09:06,018
[ Scraping ]
229
00:09:06,052 --> 00:09:07,719
[ Grunting ]
230
00:09:07,754 --> 00:09:09,388
Is the drama over?
231
00:09:09,422 --> 00:09:10,722
Oh, damn it.
232
00:09:10,757 --> 00:09:12,624
Stupid thing is so heavy.
233
00:09:12,659 --> 00:09:14,726
No. This is
your fault, Klaus.
234
00:09:14,761 --> 00:09:17,396
You wanted this job.
Now do it right!
235
00:09:20,066 --> 00:09:23,702
Michael Edward Upton,
my old friend.
236
00:09:23,736 --> 00:09:26,104
I came as soon as I heard.
237
00:09:26,139 --> 00:09:29,241
Where'd you bury
the treasure, Michael?
238
00:09:29,275 --> 00:09:32,044
I almost forgot about it, too,
just like you said I would.
239
00:09:32,078 --> 00:09:34,980
But then your name popped up
on a Google coma alert.
240
00:09:35,014 --> 00:09:36,515
Led me right to you.
241
00:09:36,549 --> 00:09:39,318
So, I ask you once again --
where did you bury it, Michael?
242
00:09:39,352 --> 00:09:40,752
I see.
243
00:09:40,787 --> 00:09:43,455
Think you're gonna hide
behind the coma?
244
00:09:43,489 --> 00:09:45,057
[ Chuckles ]
245
00:09:45,091 --> 00:09:47,259
You always did go
for the big moves, didn't you?
246
00:09:47,293 --> 00:09:48,727
But I got some moves of my own!
247
00:09:48,761 --> 00:09:51,029
[ Fabric tears ]
248
00:09:52,031 --> 00:09:53,465
Why did I hide this coffee?
249
00:09:53,499 --> 00:09:55,767
They probably would have let me
carry this in here.
250
00:09:58,771 --> 00:10:01,340
Wakey-wakey.
251
00:10:01,374 --> 00:10:03,408
[ Cellphone vibrating ]
252
00:10:03,443 --> 00:10:05,477
Oh, another coma alert.
253
00:10:05,511 --> 00:10:07,713
Val Kilmer?!
254
00:10:07,747 --> 00:10:10,282
Oh, waking up after 20 years.
255
00:10:12,752 --> 00:10:15,253
Now, the key thing
to a successful hug
256
00:10:15,288 --> 00:10:17,489
is to remember "kiss."
257
00:10:17,523 --> 00:10:20,459
That means keep it simple,
stupid, not kiss,
258
00:10:20,493 --> 00:10:22,227
which you should
never try to do during a hug.
259
00:10:22,261 --> 00:10:23,462
In fact, forget kiss.
260
00:10:23,496 --> 00:10:25,497
Get kiss right out of your brain
261
00:10:25,531 --> 00:10:27,799
'cause we are here
to learn about hugs,
262
00:10:27,834 --> 00:10:31,670
which are easy to get
if you remember to "kiss,"
263
00:10:31,704 --> 00:10:33,138
but not kiss.
264
00:10:33,172 --> 00:10:34,339
Never kiss.
265
00:10:34,374 --> 00:10:36,441
Now, then, "hugs" --
266
00:10:36,476 --> 00:10:42,047
how you get satisfaction...
267
00:10:42,081 --> 00:10:44,116
Stupid.
268
00:10:44,150 --> 00:10:46,084
[ Sighs ]
You're looking confused.
269
00:10:46,119 --> 00:10:47,285
This is so easy.
270
00:10:47,320 --> 00:10:49,588
Satisfaction breaks down
into "S,"
271
00:10:49,622 --> 00:10:51,323
which stands for satisfaction.
272
00:10:51,357 --> 00:10:53,225
Uh, doi!
"A" is for apple.
273
00:10:53,259 --> 00:10:54,626
"A" always stands for apple.
274
00:10:54,661 --> 00:10:56,561
There's nothing we can do
about that.
275
00:10:56,596 --> 00:10:58,664
"T" -- torso,
which is where the hug lives.
276
00:10:58,698 --> 00:11:02,067
"I" --
ay-yi-yi, what a hug!
277
00:11:02,101 --> 00:11:04,102
"S" --
satisfaction, again.
278
00:11:04,137 --> 00:11:05,804
This one will break down
slightly differently
279
00:11:05,838 --> 00:11:08,273
than the one we're doing now,
but we'll get to that later.
280
00:11:08,307 --> 00:11:10,275
"F" -- Francine.
281
00:11:10,309 --> 00:11:12,210
I love Francine.
282
00:11:12,245 --> 00:11:13,412
I just do.
283
00:11:13,446 --> 00:11:15,514
Back to "A" --
stands for alphabet.
284
00:11:15,548 --> 00:11:17,182
It always does.
285
00:11:21,721 --> 00:11:25,157
Sri Lankans make
such delicious kind of bread!
286
00:11:25,191 --> 00:11:26,591
Eh. Who doesn't?
287
00:11:26,626 --> 00:11:29,294
[ Door opens ]
What are you doing in here?
288
00:11:29,328 --> 00:11:31,430
Where are you supposed to be?!
Garage!
289
00:11:32,465 --> 00:11:33,632
Don't let them in here.
290
00:11:33,666 --> 00:11:35,434
They're just looking
for their passports.
291
00:11:35,468 --> 00:11:37,636
Now, I need you to put this
human liver in the fridge.
292
00:11:37,670 --> 00:11:39,705
Why do you have a human liver?
293
00:11:39,739 --> 00:11:41,106
I don't.
294
00:11:41,140 --> 00:11:42,507
You have a human liver.
295
00:11:42,542 --> 00:11:44,309
I have nothing to do with it.
296
00:11:44,343 --> 00:11:46,378
So, I'm gonna wash up,
and then you're driving me
297
00:11:46,412 --> 00:11:47,746
to Chimdale to sell that thing.
298
00:11:47,780 --> 00:11:50,549
Is this my cooler?
My sandwich was in here.
299
00:11:50,583 --> 00:11:52,184
My sandwich.
300
00:11:54,821 --> 00:11:56,655
Dad, this is --
this is getting serious.
301
00:11:56,689 --> 00:11:58,523
A-are you gonna do
something about Gwen?
302
00:11:58,558 --> 00:11:59,758
I should say so.
303
00:11:59,792 --> 00:12:01,827
Steve's about
to perv on her big-time.
304
00:12:01,861 --> 00:12:04,262
I just hope I do it right.
[ Chuckles ] You will.
305
00:12:04,297 --> 00:12:06,832
The only thing you have to know
is the meaning of every letter
306
00:12:06,866 --> 00:12:08,800
and the order in which
I told them to you.
307
00:12:08,835 --> 00:12:10,802
Remember everything!
Go, go, go!
308
00:12:14,207 --> 00:12:16,575
Oh, my God,
there's so much to remember.
309
00:12:16,609 --> 00:12:18,410
"S" is for satisfaction.
310
00:12:18,444 --> 00:12:20,579
Aunt Gwen!
Yes, Steve?
311
00:12:20,613 --> 00:12:23,615
Uh, apple.
312
00:12:23,649 --> 00:12:25,584
Aaah!
[ Groans ]
313
00:12:26,919 --> 00:12:30,889
Daddy, I-I bit my tongue,
and I got stuck.
314
00:12:30,923 --> 00:12:34,493
So, Steve is, uh,
a little special?
315
00:12:34,527 --> 00:12:37,195
That could work, yes.
316
00:12:37,230 --> 00:12:40,732
Dad, you told her
I'm a slow kid!
317
00:12:40,767 --> 00:12:44,569
Steve, who among us gets
to hug longer or harder
318
00:12:44,604 --> 00:12:46,171
than our special friends?
319
00:12:46,205 --> 00:12:48,540
Mr. Metheeny, the creepy
music teacher at school.
320
00:12:48,574 --> 00:12:50,776
What you do at school
is your business, Steve.
321
00:12:50,810 --> 00:12:53,478
[ Brakes squeak ]
322
00:12:53,513 --> 00:12:54,679
I'll be right back.
323
00:12:54,714 --> 00:12:56,414
But this is a bad neighborhood!
324
00:12:56,449 --> 00:12:57,682
Relax.
325
00:12:57,717 --> 00:12:59,651
Just think of it
as a farmers market
326
00:12:59,685 --> 00:13:01,353
for pills and illegal guns.
327
00:13:05,691 --> 00:13:07,626
Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.
[ Door lock clicks ]
328
00:13:11,430 --> 00:13:12,931
Oh, thank God.
329
00:13:12,965 --> 00:13:14,699
He's friendly.
330
00:13:14,734 --> 00:13:16,368
[ Door lock clicks ]
331
00:13:18,237 --> 00:13:19,905
Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.
[ Door lock clicks ]
332
00:13:19,939 --> 00:13:21,873
Open up, open up,
open up, open up!
333
00:13:21,908 --> 00:13:24,409
Stop pulling the handle! Stop!
Open up, open up, open up, open up!
334
00:13:24,443 --> 00:13:26,211
Wait!
Open up, open up, open up, open up!
335
00:13:26,245 --> 00:13:28,280
Stop pulling the handle!
336
00:13:28,314 --> 00:13:29,748
[ Door lock clicks ]
337
00:13:29,782 --> 00:13:31,783
Christ, you're worse
than the kids.
338
00:13:31,818 --> 00:13:33,718
Why do you still have the liver?
339
00:13:33,753 --> 00:13:35,387
[ Gasps ]
I don't know what happened.
340
00:13:35,421 --> 00:13:36,755
I saw the money,
I saw the liver,
341
00:13:36,789 --> 00:13:38,590
and I thought,
"Maybe I could have it all."
342
00:13:38,624 --> 00:13:40,959
[ Gunshot ]
Drive, drive, drive!
343
00:13:40,993 --> 00:13:43,795
[ Engine revs, tires squeal ]
[ Gunshots ]
344
00:13:52,672 --> 00:13:54,606
Oh, my God, mom, what happened?!
345
00:13:54,640 --> 00:13:56,608
[ Weakly ]
Great news, Hayley --
346
00:13:56,642 --> 00:13:58,577
we got the money and the liver.
347
00:13:58,611 --> 00:14:01,980
Gwen, I am sick of this,
and so is my mom.
348
00:14:02,014 --> 00:14:04,316
She has spent
her whole life helping you,
349
00:14:04,350 --> 00:14:06,751
and you have never once
done anything for her.
350
00:14:06,786 --> 00:14:08,320
Huh.
She told you that?
351
00:14:08,354 --> 00:14:10,522
Yeah, she's just too nice
to tell you.
352
00:14:10,556 --> 00:14:13,325
So it's time for you to go.
Fine, I'm gone.
353
00:14:13,359 --> 00:14:16,461
But you tell your mom
that someday she'll understand
354
00:14:16,495 --> 00:14:18,363
how I felt all these years.
355
00:14:18,397 --> 00:14:20,031
Someday soon.
356
00:14:20,066 --> 00:14:23,602
Someday...today.
357
00:14:23,636 --> 00:14:25,871
Uncle Gwen!
358
00:14:25,905 --> 00:14:28,840
I was under the ice
for six minutes.
359
00:14:28,875 --> 00:14:30,542
Oh, Stevie.
360
00:14:30,576 --> 00:14:31,943
But you made it.
361
00:14:31,978 --> 00:14:35,480
Black doctor says
I was almost a angel.
362
00:14:35,514 --> 00:14:37,582
Oh, hand to lower back.
363
00:14:37,617 --> 00:14:40,352
Crotch to thigh.
Face in the cleavage.
364
00:14:40,386 --> 00:14:42,520
He got all three points
of contact.
365
00:14:42,555 --> 00:14:44,489
Oh, my God, what's he doing?
366
00:14:44,523 --> 00:14:45,991
He's going for a fourth point.
367
00:14:46,025 --> 00:14:47,859
Stan:
He's cupping a bun.
368
00:14:47,894 --> 00:14:50,295
That's insane.
Touchdown, son!
369
00:14:50,329 --> 00:14:52,464
Betty Crocker bakes cakes.
370
00:14:52,498 --> 00:14:53,865
Yes, she does.
371
00:14:53,900 --> 00:14:56,801
Bye, Stan.
372
00:14:56,836 --> 00:14:58,770
[ Chanting ]
Apple! Apple! Apple!
373
00:14:58,804 --> 00:15:00,839
[ Head thuds ]
[ Steve groans ]
374
00:15:00,873 --> 00:15:02,574
Apple! Apple!
Where's Gwen?
375
00:15:02,608 --> 00:15:05,810
Gone. I knew you couldn't do it,
so I kicked her out.
376
00:15:05,845 --> 00:15:07,579
How did she react to that?
377
00:15:07,613 --> 00:15:10,015
It was hard to know
what she was reacting to
378
00:15:10,049 --> 00:15:12,517
'cause I was opening up
both barrels on her.
379
00:15:12,551 --> 00:15:14,386
You know, I was like,
"Never come back,
380
00:15:14,420 --> 00:15:16,454
or you're gonna get
a face full of knuckles,"
381
00:15:16,489 --> 00:15:18,590
and then she whined
like a little bitch.
382
00:15:18,624 --> 00:15:20,825
[ High-pitched ] "Maybe one day
your mom will see how I feel.
383
00:15:20,860 --> 00:15:22,427
Maybe today."
384
00:15:22,461 --> 00:15:24,329
[ Normal voice ]
Uh, she wasn't making any sense.
385
00:15:24,363 --> 00:15:26,364
Probably because she was so scared.
[ Door opens ]
386
00:15:26,399 --> 00:15:30,001
Ms. Francine, I know
we have to stay in garage --
387
00:15:30,036 --> 00:15:32,604
and don't get me wrong,
we love garage --
388
00:15:32,638 --> 00:15:34,706
but Ms. Gwen,
she spill much gasoline
389
00:15:34,740 --> 00:15:36,508
when she take your fuel cans.
390
00:15:36,542 --> 00:15:38,076
Many ladies sleeping now.
391
00:15:38,110 --> 00:15:39,978
Oh, God!
392
00:15:40,012 --> 00:15:42,113
She's gonna go
burn down the school
393
00:15:42,148 --> 00:15:44,416
and make everyone think
I did it!
394
00:15:44,450 --> 00:15:46,451
Why on earth would she do that?
395
00:15:46,485 --> 00:15:50,422
'Cause that's what I did to her 25 years ago.
What?!
396
00:15:50,456 --> 00:15:53,591
[ Rumbling ]
Klaus: Drama!
397
00:15:53,626 --> 00:15:56,861
[ Grunting ]
398
00:16:00,917 --> 00:16:02,184
[ Tires squeal ]
399
00:16:02,218 --> 00:16:04,286
I am blown away
that you have been lying
400
00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:06,121
about aunt Gwen all these years.
401
00:16:06,156 --> 00:16:08,157
Okay, let's get
to the bottom of this.
402
00:16:08,191 --> 00:16:11,927
You say "ahnt" when everyone
else in the family says "ant."
403
00:16:11,961 --> 00:16:13,262
What's the deal with that?
404
00:16:13,296 --> 00:16:15,248
I can't believe
you're changing the subject!
405
00:16:15,368 --> 00:16:16,935
[ Snootily ] Oh, "cahn't" you?
406
00:16:16,969 --> 00:16:18,870
Mom, why did you frame her?
407
00:16:18,904 --> 00:16:20,939
[ Normal voice ] I didn't.
408
00:16:21,007 --> 00:16:23,775
When I was a freshman,
Gwen was a senior.
409
00:16:23,809 --> 00:16:26,411
She was the coolest girl
in school,
410
00:16:26,445 --> 00:16:28,613
probably because she was
lab monitor.
411
00:16:28,648 --> 00:16:31,516
One day after school,
I was waiting for Gwen
412
00:16:31,550 --> 00:16:33,618
to finish her cool lab inventory
413
00:16:33,653 --> 00:16:34,853
when a boy came in.
414
00:16:34,887 --> 00:16:37,322
He made
a particularly clever joke
415
00:16:37,356 --> 00:16:39,958
about experiments
and sexual chemistry.
416
00:16:42,595 --> 00:16:45,330
But where was
my prince charming?
417
00:16:45,364 --> 00:16:50,001
I thought if I acted like Gwen,
I could have everything she had.
418
00:16:50,036 --> 00:16:52,737
So I pulled out her pack
of wagon burners.
419
00:16:52,772 --> 00:16:55,540
She only smoked
the most provocative brand.
420
00:16:55,574 --> 00:16:57,442
And I tried one.
421
00:16:57,476 --> 00:17:00,478
Wait, you smoked
in the science lab?!
422
00:17:00,513 --> 00:17:02,947
You think I give a shit?
423
00:17:02,982 --> 00:17:04,616
[ Coughs ]
424
00:17:04,650 --> 00:17:07,052
I don't know what firemen
use to put out fires,
425
00:17:07,086 --> 00:17:10,422
but it's definitely
not denatured alcohol.
426
00:17:10,456 --> 00:17:11,823
[ Door slams ]
427
00:17:11,857 --> 00:17:14,659
[ Fire roars ]
428
00:17:14,694 --> 00:17:18,463
Unfortunately, the lab
was right next to the room
429
00:17:18,497 --> 00:17:21,599
where we stored our
school's mascot, the oily rag.
430
00:17:21,634 --> 00:17:23,735
Go, rags!
431
00:17:23,769 --> 00:17:27,005
Anyways, everything went up
super fast,
432
00:17:27,039 --> 00:17:30,875
and when the firemen put it out,
they found what started it.
433
00:17:37,016 --> 00:17:38,750
Shh.
434
00:17:43,689 --> 00:17:47,625
Since then, I've done everything
I can to cover for her.
435
00:17:47,660 --> 00:17:50,962
Oh, that's why we're always
mailing bags of pee.
436
00:17:55,434 --> 00:17:57,936
[ Monitor beeping ]
437
00:17:57,970 --> 00:18:00,038
This ought to do it.
438
00:18:02,508 --> 00:18:04,909
[ Engine revving ]
439
00:18:12,418 --> 00:18:16,054
[ Electricity zapping ]
440
00:18:16,088 --> 00:18:18,123
It worked.
441
00:18:18,157 --> 00:18:20,558
[ People screaming,
revving stops ]
442
00:18:20,593 --> 00:18:22,093
It worked!
443
00:18:22,128 --> 00:18:23,928
Idios m?o!
444
00:18:23,963 --> 00:18:25,697
?D?nde estoy?
What?!
445
00:18:25,731 --> 00:18:29,100
Wait, Michael Edward Upton
does not speak Spanish.
446
00:18:29,135 --> 00:18:31,536
Edward James Olmos
speaks Spanish.
447
00:18:31,570 --> 00:18:33,471
Nurse!
Who the hell is this?
448
00:18:33,506 --> 00:18:35,507
I thought Michael Edward Upton
was in this room.
449
00:18:35,541 --> 00:18:38,476
The eccentric cartographer?
No, he checked out two days ago.
450
00:18:38,511 --> 00:18:40,512
I remember him
because he paid his bill
451
00:18:40,546 --> 00:18:42,547
in what appeared
to be pirate treasure.
452
00:18:42,581 --> 00:18:45,150
Wait, that means
he has the chestandthe key.
453
00:18:45,184 --> 00:18:47,519
But then what's this?
454
00:18:47,553 --> 00:18:49,821
Oh, I guess
it's just my house key.
455
00:18:51,123 --> 00:18:54,025
[ Liquid splashing ]
456
00:18:54,059 --> 00:18:55,760
Oh, good. You're here.
457
00:18:55,795 --> 00:18:57,862
It'll make it a lot easier
to frame you.
458
00:18:57,897 --> 00:18:59,564
Don't do this, Gwen.
459
00:18:59,598 --> 00:19:01,633
Please, aunt Gwen.
[ Snootily ] "Ahnt"?
460
00:19:01,667 --> 00:19:03,868
Get a load of her majesty.
461
00:19:03,903 --> 00:19:06,871
My mom explained everything.
I understand now.
462
00:19:06,906 --> 00:19:08,106
So you know the truth.
463
00:19:08,140 --> 00:19:09,874
Itook the blame for the fire.
464
00:19:09,909 --> 00:19:11,543
Yes, but you chose to.
465
00:19:11,577 --> 00:19:12,877
You didn't have to.
466
00:19:12,912 --> 00:19:14,446
Of course I had to.
467
00:19:14,480 --> 00:19:16,781
She's my little sister,
and I was protecting her.
468
00:19:16,816 --> 00:19:19,484
And you've chosen
to keep bailing her out
469
00:19:19,518 --> 00:19:21,152
every time she gets in trouble.
470
00:19:21,187 --> 00:19:23,154
Why do you think you do that?
471
00:19:23,189 --> 00:19:27,158
Because...
I...love her?
472
00:19:27,193 --> 00:19:28,760
Yes.
473
00:19:28,794 --> 00:19:31,863
And, aunt Gwen, you did
what you did because...?
474
00:19:31,897 --> 00:19:34,032
I wanted the money?
475
00:19:34,066 --> 00:19:36,167
No, no,
when you protected my mom.
476
00:19:36,202 --> 00:19:39,504
Oh, right, yeah.
I guess it was love.
477
00:19:39,538 --> 00:19:43,074
Aww, sis, I'm so sorry.
478
00:19:43,108 --> 00:19:44,776
I love you.
479
00:19:44,810 --> 00:19:47,712
I love you, too.
480
00:19:47,746 --> 00:19:49,814
Smoke 'em peace pipe?
481
00:19:49,849 --> 00:19:52,183
Spark it up.
No!
482
00:19:52,218 --> 00:19:55,053
Francine: Why does this
keep happening to us?!
483
00:19:55,087 --> 00:19:57,722
You guys, get out of here.
484
00:19:57,756 --> 00:19:59,023
But what about you?!
485
00:19:59,058 --> 00:20:01,059
Someone's got to take
the blame for it.
486
00:20:01,093 --> 00:20:03,695
This time, it'll be me.
487
00:20:07,533 --> 00:20:10,602
[ Helicopter blades whirring ]
488
00:20:10,636 --> 00:20:12,604
Man: Please surrender
farther away
489
00:20:12,638 --> 00:20:14,572
from the
still-exploding building.
490
00:20:14,607 --> 00:20:17,509
Stand up! Run!
491
00:20:17,543 --> 00:20:20,178
Behave like a person
who wants to live!
492
00:20:22,848 --> 00:20:25,216
I can't believe you get
a suspended sentence
493
00:20:25,251 --> 00:20:26,885
and I get jail time.
494
00:20:26,919 --> 00:20:30,955
Let's not get bogged down
in who violated their parole
495
00:20:30,990 --> 00:20:34,692
and whose husband called
in a favor with a local judge.
496
00:20:34,727 --> 00:20:38,796
The important thing is,
we've let go of the past.
497
00:20:38,831 --> 00:20:41,733
We're totally free.
I'mnot!
498
00:20:41,767 --> 00:20:44,569
And when I get out of here,
I'm coming for you, sis.
499
00:20:44,603 --> 00:20:46,971
I will have my revenge!
500
00:20:47,006 --> 00:20:49,107
[ Light switch clicking, rumbling ]
Klaus: Drama!
501
00:20:49,141 --> 00:20:52,176
Look at me! I'm doing it.
I'm doing it!
502
00:20:52,211 --> 00:20:55,446
No touching the lights!
503
00:20:55,687 --> 00:20:59,828
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
504
00:20:59,878 --> 00:21:04,428
Repair and Synchronization by
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