Original subtitles

Judging by your lugubrious gait

and sour expression

I assume that your endeavors have achieved nothing.

Well, there may have been some buried clue or significant fact

that showed itself, but I missed it.

Then you better type up the report.

You mean my full report?

You want it verbatim?

Yes.

Uh, that could take all afternoon, maybe more.

I suppose so.

I asked you to type the report.

I heard you but it's just all and you know it.

Archie, you might recall

that I once returned a retainer of $40,000

to a client named Zimmerman, because he...

wanted to tell me how to handle his case

instead of leaving it to me.

Please type up the report.

It would've been a pleasure to take a gun out of the drawer

and shoot that book right out of his hand

but I decided it was inadvisable.

So I swiveled, pulled the typewriter to me

got paper, twirled it in and hit the keys.

Three and a half hours later, at 6:00

I finished typing my report and someone rang the bell.

Yes, can I help you?

My name is Arthur M. Irby.

I'm a lawyer and I represent Eric Hagh

the former husband of Priscilla Eades.

I would like to speak to Mr. Wolfe.

Come in.

Eric Hagh's lawyer, Albert Irby, is here to see you.

Where the devil did you get him?

Well, I didn't exactly get him, he came here.

What does he want?

To talk to you.

Look, since you don't like a client horning in

on a case of yours, I didn't press him for particulars.

Bring him.

Mr. Wolfe will see you.

I appreciate your seeing me, Mr. Wolfe

but I'm not surprised

because I know of your great services

in the cause of justice

and that's what I want for my client, Eric Hagh.

I was asked to represent him by a olleague in Venezuela...

My time and attention

are not infinite, Mr. Irby.

Of course.

Forgive me.

I have with me

a photostat of a letter dated August 12, 1946

written and signed by Priscilla Eades Hagh

and witnessed by Margaret Folmos.

In this letter, Priscilla gives to her husband, Eric

a half interest in all property, then hers

or to become hers

at any time in the future.

This is a legal matter.

I'm not a lawyer.

I came to consult you not in a matter of the law

but in a matter of fact.

Miss Eades told me on Friday

that she signed the document in good faith.

She offered my client a $100,000 settlement.

He rejected it, so I went to see Mr. Helmar.

I fail to see what this has to do with me.

Mr. Helmar claimed she never signed the document

and accused my client of forging it

so I called Mr. Hagh and told him to get on

the first plane to New York.

Uh, in five minutes, my dinner is served

and I will be leaving this room

whether you are finished speaking or not.

You might consider getting to the point

sooner rather than later.

It occurred to me that, um...

you could speak

to the authenticity of the document.

Miss Eades came to consult you.

She spent hours here.

Surely the document was discussed

and surely she knowledged signing it.

If Mr. Goodwin was also here and can speak...

that would clinch it.

Such assistance would be of great value to Mr. Hagh

amounting to...

five percent

of the total sum received by him

in settlement of his claim.

You say Mr. Hagh is coming to New York?

Yes.

When does he arrive?

Tomorrow afternoon, 3:00.

Oh, I'd like to see him.

Oh, certainly. I want you to.

I'll bring him straight here from the airport.

Meanwhile... I've prepared affidavits.

No, there will be no affidavit until I speak to your client.

Then we'll see.

I- I think there should be a meeting of all those involved.

Both sides

with you present

here in my office at 9:00 p. m. tomorrow.

I would welcome such a meeting

but I want some assurance that...

No. By making me a flagrantly improper offer

you have forfeited all rights to amenity.

You'll have to take it as it comes.

My dinner is served.

Very well then.

Good day.

Are you satisfied?

No, sir.

And neither are you.

The next morning, I decided for the umpteenth time

I didn't have the right temperament

for working with Nero Wolfe.

If I had, I would've long ago quit being exasperated

by his assumption that there was no point

starting the day's detecting activities

until he came down from the plant rooms at 11:00.

Nero Wolfe's office, Archie Goodwin speaking.

This is Sarah Jaffe, Mr. Goodwin.

Yes, yes, it is.

I can tell by the voice. Good morning.

Good morning.

I wanted...

How are you?

Oh, I'm fine. How are you?

I'm fine too.

I just had my breakfast and I wanted to phone you.

There was no place at the table but mine.

Well, that's good.

You know, in the long run

that'll save a lot of breakage on dishes.

Oh, it'll save more than that.

You took the coat and hat away with you.

Yes, I did, and for God's sake

don't tell me you want them back.

I disposed of them.

Oh, I'll never want them back.

When I went into the hall, long after you left

I... I cried like a baby

and I knew you had done a wonderful thing for me

and that I had to do anything you asked me to do... anything.

Only, of course not...

I mean, anything you would ask me.

That is, anything I can do.

So, just tell me what it is?

Uh... yes. I see.

Uh, well, uh, it's what I asked you to do yesterday.

Yes, I thought so.

You'll have to provide an attorney.

I'm afraid mine wouldn't approve.

Well, uh, Mr. Wolfe's attorney, Nathaniel Parker

will be asked to act on your behalf

and you couldn't do any better than Mr. Parker.

I don't think I'm still in that, Mr. Goodwin

so I'm pretty brave to be doing this

and... I hope you know it.

I do.

And I appreciate it.

Bye for now.

And so we were going to hatch Wolfe's plan after all.

The legal merits

are open to question

but it should suffice to get them here.

We had given Parker all the details.

Well, I'm not so sure.

Ah, don't worry.

If you get disbarred because of this operation

I can get you a job folding paper napkins.

Lawyers are incapable

of taking a joke about getting disbarred

because it takes them

so much time and money to get barred.

Yes, Mr. Perry Helmar, please.

This is Nathaniel Parker's office calling.

It's regarding a Mrs. Sarah Jaffe

and Softdown, Incorporated.

This is Helmar speaking.

Mr. Helmar, please hold for Mr. Parker.

Good afternoon, Mr. Helmar.

Uh, my name is Nathaniel Parker.

I am an attorney.

Uh, I am preparing

to start a case for a client

and I'm calling you as a matter of professional courtesy.

Uh, the client is Mrs. Sarah Jaffe.

I believe you know her?

Yes, I've known Mrs. Jaffe all of her life.

What kind of action are you talking about?

Uh, well, perhaps I should explain to you

that Mrs. Jaffe was referred

to me by Mr. Nero Wolfe...

That crook?

That damn scoundrel?

Well, I won't stipulate that

and, uh, I doubt if you can establish it.

I was saying: Mrs. Jaffe

would like me to ask a court

to enjoin you and members of the board

from assuming ownership

of any of the capital stock

of Softdown Incorporated under the provisions

of the will of the late Nathaniel Eades.

And from attempting to exercise any rights of such ownership

until it is determined whether one or more of you

has acquired this stock by, um... murdering Priscilla Eades.

This is an act of malice.

Nero Wolfe put her up to this.

I will speak with Mrs. Jaffe myself.

I- I don't think that will help.

Uh, as Mrs. Jaffe's attorney

I have advised her not to discuss this matter with anyone

except Mr. Wolfe, if she sees fit.

No judge would grant such an injunction.

Well, that remains to be seen.

But I think

an effort should be made to protect all interests

without going to court

and Mr. Wolfe has agreed...

uh, provided that such effort be made tonight

at his office and that all involved be present.

At Wolfe's office?

Yes.

Never! Never!

That man is a murderer himself!

I think, Counselor, you are a little free with words.

Uh, we'll expect you at 9:00

with the rest of the board.

They'll come.

The Softdown crowd showed up on time as expected

e finally got to meet Eric Hagh.

There had been so much talk about South America

I had expected him

cross between Diego Rivera and Peron.

But I couldn't have told him from a Viking

if it hadn't been for his clothes.

Good evening.

I have a prepared statement

that I would like to read.

"Speaking for myself and my four associates

"we denounce Nero Wolfe

"for his instigation of an unwarranted attack

"upon us by Mrs. Sarah Jaffe.

"We declare that said instigation

"was prompted by malice

"and that the threat of legal action

"on behalf of Mrs. Jaffe is an unjustified, unprovoked

"and reprehensible attempt at coercion

"and we demand the right

"to interview Mrs. Jaffe privately

"before entering into a discussion with Counselor Parker

and particularly any discussion to which Nero Wolfe is a party. "

May I say that, uh...

If you please, Mr. Helmar.

There's no question of your right

to interview Mrs. Jaffe privately.

The only question is how

she feels about it herself.

Ask her.

Sarah...

you wouldn't let me speak to you on the telephone.

You've known me all of your life.

I held you in my arms when you were a baby.

Have you ever known me

to do anything unfair or wicked

or dishonest?

Yes.

What?

Did you say "yes"?

Yes, I did.

You did all of those things to Pris.

You didn't love her or understand her

and you were bad for her.

I want to say one thing.

I haven't been coerced to do this by Mr. Wolfe or Mr. Parker.

I am doing this because I want to

and... it was Archie Goodwin

who made me want to.

It wouldn't do the slightest good for you

to speak with me, Mr. Helmar, so... forget it.

Listen, Sarah

you don't understand...

I think I do

and... what if I don't?

Does anyone else

have a statement to read?

Good.

First, I'll make one thing clear.

I have been engaged

to investigate the murder of Priscilla Eades

and that is my sole interest.

By Sarah Jaffe?

No, my client's identity is not your concern.

In my opinion, it is entirely proper

for Mrs. Jaffe to bring the action contemplated

but that will be determined not by me, not by you

but by a court tomorrow morning

unless developments here this evening

make it unnecessary.

What developments could make it unnecessary?

Oh, any of several.

For instance

my discovery of the identity

of the murderer

though I confess that I expect no such happy expedition.

Another possible development

would be for me to conclude

after inquiry that none of you five people

was involved in the murder of Miss Eades.

The reason for this meeting is an explanation by you

and Counselor Parker about this whole preposterous event.

Do you really mean that?

Yes, I certainly do.

Then get out.

What's that?

Get out!

Before you go, Mr. Helmar

there's a piece of information for you.

I am told

that you are now claiming

that the letter from Priscilla Eades

giving her husband half her property is spurious.

If you accuse me of deception, sir

I accuse you of an impudent lie

in an attempt to defraud.

In this room, Monday evening

Miss Eades told Mr. Goodwin and me categorically

that she signed that document.

And, of course, you knew that.

Bravo.

Now that is honesty, gentlemen.

Oh... here it is.

Here it is.

Well, this is fantastic.

We are subject to trial on the charge of murder

with you as the judge and the jury.

No, not as you put it.

What do you mean by inquiry?

Put it this way... I say to you, Miss Duday

there is a suspicion

that you had something to do with the murders

of Priscilla Eades and Margaret Folmos.

That you may actually have committed the crimes

with your own hands.

What have you to say to remove or discredit

that suspicion?

That should be simple.

It's true, of course

that I'll get a large block of stocks...

as they will...

but they can outvote me and push me out

if they feel like it.

Whereas if Pscilla had lived

I would soon have been active head of the corporation...

in complete control.

Does that seem pertinent?

Yes.

Did you know that Mrs. Jaffe was to be a director?

Yes.

That was because Priscilla wanted

all the directors to be women.

Did these gentlemen know that Miss Eades

intended to put you in charge?

I'd rather let them answer that.

Except, if they say no, then I'll speak to it.

Very well.

Uh, Mr. Helmar...

join us.

The idea that a man of my training and temperament

would perform so vicious a deed and incur so tremendous a risk

is repugnant to every reputable theory of human conduct.

Well, how do you her backing out

of her appointment with you

and asking you not to try and find her?

Very simply.

She knew that I was coming with proof

that Miss Duday was incompetent

to handle the affairs of a large corporation

and she simply didn't want to face me and admit it.

What a monstrousy liar you are!

Don't call me a liar, you vicious underhanded...

How dare you!

What about Miss O'Neill?

I have nothing to say about Miss O'Neill.

Oh, come.

She may be a mere voluptuous irrelevance

but I need to know

was she intimate with both Mr. Brucker and you?

Or- or neither?

How dare you.

You make these vicious and ignorant insinuations

about a woman who, in her innocence and modest merit

is so far above all of this depravity.

Mr. Brucker?

I'm only a... hardworking, plodding businessman, Mr. Wolfe.

But to the issue of murder

I can only say that I loved Priscilla Eades

since the day... as a five-year-old...

that she told her father

"Don't make Jay go away with the others.

You must keep Jay. "

Uh, this was during one of Softdown's worst slumps.

As you can see, I was kept.

Do you really think that this is pertinent in any way?

I do sir.

You can imagine my feelings

knowing that I am suspected of killing Priscilla

with these hands.

Well... sir?

I have nothing more to say.

You're... y- you're not serious.

Oh, yes, he is.

Ah, Mr. Hagh.

Mr. Hagh

uh, Mr. Brucker told Mr. Goodwin

that perhaps you had murdered your ex-wife.

Who said that?

Sit down, Mr. Hagh.

I want an answer.

Hey, back off.

I'm being accused of murder.

So is everyone in this room.

Now, sit down and cook yourself a defense.

This is outrageous.

Thank you, Archie.

Now, why would Mr. Hagh

want Priscilla Eades dead... Mr. Brucker?

I can't tell you that.

That's a pity,

since the simplest way for you people

to make me doubt your guilt

would be to offer an acceptable substitute.

Have you one, Mr. Brucker?

No.

Mr. Quest?

Bernie. Bernie.

Sir...

I have been with this company 62 years.

In 1933, when I was made vice president by Nathan Eades

he promised me that one day

I would be given a substantial share in the corporation.

In 1942, he died

and when his will was read, I found

that he had broken his promise to me, so...

I decided to kill

his daughter, Prcilla.

She was then

15 years old.

I decided to strangle her.

Bernie!

My God!

I even worked out the details:

where to find a rope;

how to employ it; what to do with it afterwards.

And I practiced.

I practiced, sir, by strangling myself.

But that was ten years ago

and in the end

I finally came to my senses.

I didn't kill her then, and now what's the point?

I'm too old.

My children are grown and I have everything I need.

Well, perhaps you should've strangled yourself.

Yeah.

Have you anything else to add, Mr. Quest?

And you, Mr. Pitkin.

What have you to say

to remove or discredit the suspicion

that you are the murderer?

That's not the way it's done, Mr. Wolfe.

That's un-American.

First, show me evidence, if there is any

and I will answer it.

Either, sir, you're an ass or you're masquerading as one.

If I had evidence that one or more of you were guilty

I wouldn't sit here half the night

inviting you to jabber.

I would phone the police to come and get you.

Now, are you capable of deliberate murder?

No, because of the way I look at things.

How do you look at things?

From the standpoint of profit and loss.

For example, if the risk of the transaction is very great

it should not be considered at all

no matter what profit is offered

if it is successful.

You apply that to murder, what do you get?

Profit and loss, Mr. Wolfe.

Mrs. Jaffe, your average income

in Softdown dividends

for the past five years has been $40,000.

Have you earned

one penny of it?

My father did the eaing.

And you, Mr. Hagh.

You are demanding a share of Softdown profits.

You certainly haven't earned anything

isn't that correct?

This is perfectly correct.

And I feel no embarrassment

being put in the same class as the charming Mrs. Jaffe.

The income I will get from Softdown stocks

is called unearned income.

But actually, I have earned it

by years of devoted service.

I deserve it, unlike them.

Well, Mr. Pitkin, how about Miss Eades?

Wasn't she also a parasite?

Or- or had her recent interest in the corporation

made her an earner?

That wasn't a service to the corporation.

That was an interference.

In a week, she would've taken title

to 90% of the company stock, leaving you earners

with nothing but your meager salaries.

Now, wasn't that deplorable?

Yes, we all thought so.

I think, uh,

I- I've had enough of you, Mr. Pitk...

I- I've... I've had enough of all of you.

It's late.

I must digest what I have heard and seen

and I will make only this commitment:

Mr. Parker will take no action on behalf of Mrs. Jaffe

until he has heard from me sometime tomorrow.

That's it. Thank you all for coming.

Your coats are by the front door.

I'd appreciate it if you left swiftly.

So, which one?

Which one what?

Uh, excuse me...

if you're as stumped as you look

God help your client.

Archie, do you know who killed Mrs. Folmos and Miss Eades?

Uh... nope.

I do.

But there's a contradiction.

What about Sarah Jaffe?

Is she a snake or a cheat?

No, no, neither.

Nice odds, ten to one.

Then I have a question for her.

Have her here at 11:00 in the morning.

Yes, sir.

Hello... yeah... Nero Wolfe's.

Oh, I'm awfully sorry, Mr. Goodwin.

Did I wake you?

Uh, not quite there, Mrs. Jaffe.

Why don't you go ahead and finish it.

Well, I guess I should've waited until morning

but I thought you might've found them

and wondered whose they were.

Did you find any keys?

No, did you lose some keys?

Is that what you're saying?

Yes, two on a ring

to the door downstairs and my apartment.

they were in my bag.

Uh-huh, where are you now?

I'm home in my apartment.

How'd you get in?

The night man, he has a key.

I might've lost them in the taxi

but I thought I ought to phone you

in case you found them.

I'm sorry I bothered you.

No, no, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Mrs. Jaffe, don't-don't ring off there.

Uh, is, uh, is Olga there?

No, she doesn't sleep here.

Uh, when did you miss the keys?

While I was coming up in the elevator.

I went to get them from my bag and they weren't there.

How come you didn't notice downstairs on the sidewalk?

The night man was there with the door open.

Okay, here's what you've got to do.

You've got to keep that phone

close to your ear and mouth, okay?

Why?

Million to one it's nothing.

It's just, uh, you lost some keys, that's all.

I- I'm nervous about keys getting lost.

Now, how long were you there before you called me?

After the night man let you in?

I called you right away.

I wanted to get you before you were asleep.

What do you mean you're nervous about keys?

I mean I'm coming over right away.

I'm coming over now, matter of fact.

What phone are you calling from?

The living room phone.

And that's at the far end from the foyer?

Yes.

Did you say you're coming over here?

Yes... listen, listen very carefully.

This is almost certainly a false alarm

but... you've got to listen and don't ring off.

When I say to you, "go ahead," you say to me, quote:

"I don't think so, but if you'll hold the line

I'll go to the foyer and see if it's there. "

Unquote. Did you get that?

Yes.

Do you want me to repeat that?

Uh, no, you don't need to.

Okay, good, now after you say that

you then put the phone down, you don't ring off

and you walk straight to the front door

you go through it and you close it with a bang

you go downstairs and you wait for me.

You got that?

Yes.

All right, are you going to do it exactly that way?

Yes, I... I will.

All right, that's the girl.

Now, don't forget to close it with a bang

because I'm going to be

at the other end of the phone, listening.

And when I hear that I'm going to come

and then when I get there you can have a good laugh

about how nervous I was about this whole thing

and then we'll decide what to do next...

maybe we'll go have a drink...

anyway... are you ready?

Yes.

Go ahead.

Hold the line if it's in the foyer.

It had been a lot of years

since I'd played Prisoner's Base.

The phone in the living room was one base

and the elevator outside was another

and it was up to Sarah Jaffe

to make the run without being tagged.

I didn't hear the door bang.

Maybe she forgot... but I doubted it.

I want in!

What for?

I want to see Sarah Jaffe!

I'm expected!

At this time of night, nuts!

Get in the elevator.

You take me to the sixth floor.

Have you seen or heard Sarah Jaffe

in the last half hour? Have you seen or heard Sarah Jaffe

No, no!

Talk fast! Get in there.

That hack, he's going to have a cop here...

Get out your keys.

You're going to open the door, you understand?

I'm not supposed to do that... Aah!

Fast, get it open.

Take the elevator down.

The police will want it.

She had followed instructions, all right

but had never reached the outside door.

Three paces from where she lay

he came out of the closet, struck her with the bookend

then finished up with a doubled cord from a venetian blind.

Everything was right there.

Hello.

Yeah, listen, it's Archie.

Listen good, all right?

We might get interrupted.

Sarah Jaffe called me from her apartment.

That's where I am now.

She lost her keys.

The night man let her in.

She asked me what to do

I gave her some instructions.

She listened to me, but the problem is

she didn't make it through the front door.

She's on the floor now, dead, see?

Next time she's in danger, she should call someone else.

Archie...

I said it is vainglorious

to reproach yourself for lack of omniscience.

The same is true for omnipotence.

Report in when you can.

Is this straight, Goodwin?

Yeah, whoever got her keys

got in, conked her on the head

strangled her and now she's dead.

And you're in Jaffe's apartment right now?

Yes.

By God, you stay there.

Put that phone down and get your hands up!

Over the next four hours

I gave a complete account of the meeting in Wolfe's office

and my phone call with Sarah Jaffe.

The four of us disposed of a dozen ham sandwiches

six muskmelons and a gallon of coffee.

Wait, wait, hold it, hold it, hold it.

Now, I've just given you everything I got.

I want something from you.

I want to see Inspector Cramer right away

and you can fix it for me.

Is this about the case?

Yes.

Why won't I do?

Because he can say yes to this.

You can't.

Hey, Pearly.

When did I ever ask you for a favor?

Never, you're not that dumb.

No, not until now. I want you to let the inspector know I'm here.

I'm asking for five minutes

and you will kindly keep your trap shut.

He's busy.

Well, so am I busy, now, let me just... Come on.

What do you want to ask him?

It's none of your business...

Then you don't see him.

Here he is.

Oh, what the hell?

What is this?

Now, this was my idea.

I got something to say.

Well, I haven't got time.

All right, two minutes, two minutes.

Did Wolfe send you?

No, this was my idea.

While Sarah Jaffe was on the phone talking to me

her killer was in the closet waiting for her, all right?

I told her what to do.

I could've told her to go to an open window and scream.

That might've saved her.

Instead, I had a better idea.

Maybe I was wrong.

What do you want, a medal?

No.

I don't want to go home, sit on my ass

and wait for Wolfe to have a fit of genius, see?

I want to do something here.

I want to sit in on your interviews with the suspects

and maybe I cann offer some comments when it's appropriate...

Typical Wolfe approach.

No, no, this is strictly personal.

I was on the phone with her.

Maybe I can help.

You know him as well as I do, Pearly.

Is this straight?

His head's been swelling a long time

and he got a bad jolt and he can't take it.

Yeah, I buy it.

We can always toss him out.

All right, Goodwin.

But if this is a dodge...

I'm going to hook you and I'm going to hook you good.

And not a word to Wolfe or the press

or anybody else.

Agreed?

Agreed.

I'm going to do a re-take on Helmar.

You want to come along with me?

All right, let's go.

Okay, Mr. Helmar, we're going to take it one more time.

...I've known her since she was a baby.

I held her in my arms...

...that's right, ja, I remember...

...bah, bah, bah, let's shoot the breeze...?

...been associated with Softdown?

31 years!

Couldn't Mr. Goodwin...?

This is a joke...

perpetrated probably by the lackey on my left.

I have no idea why I'm here. This is preposterous.

...you could hear him say?

"Hubba, hubba, hubba, yuk, yuk... "?

Good morning.

Morning.

Good God, you look awful.

Thanks.

What's for breakfast?

Well, you relax, I'll make you something.

You know this is, uh, getting to be a habit.

What is?

This early breakfast

around this time in the morning.

Yesterday, I was poaching eggs for Mr. Wolfe and Saul.

You were what?

Poaching eggs for Mr. Wolfe and Saul.

Uh-huh, Saul's taking over my job, I suppose.

I have no idea what Saul is doing.

I'll be right back.

There was nothing on the desk that gave any hint

of what Wolfe wanted with Saul

but in the safe I found a slip of paper

that hadn't been there before...

a notation that Wolfe had given Saul two grand

from our emergency fund.

Naturally, I tried to decide

what Saul Panzer was supposed to be doing with 2,000 bucks.

I made a lot of guesses, but I bought none of them.

What are you, checking your mascara?

What do you want?

Where the hell have you been?

Look at me, doesn't it show?

Yeah. Let me touch you.

I'm supposed to bring you in.

They want you up at the commissioner's office.

Give me a minute.

During the last 40 hours

we've had more men on this case

than on any other in my time

and I can't see that we have gained an inch

and everyone agrees with me.

There were 11 people present in that room

when those keys were lifted

and we need to get a line on the lifting.

More questioning won't do it.

We want to take everyone back to Nero Wolfe's office

and repeat as closely as we can

everything that was said and done on Thursday evening.

Now, we can't compel

Wolfe to let us in

much less do his part.

So, we want you, Mr. Goodwin to convince him.

Well, I'll tell you, you guys are rare.

Rare breed. Rare as rocking horse manure.

Come on, Goodwin, don't start with the hard-to-get stuff

and don't be witty.

Last Tuesday, six days ago

I was sitting on a bench in this building.

Mr. Wolfe was dragged down here by Rowcliff...

and now you know how he felt about it then.

Well, he's still sore as a pup

and now you got a lot of gall to ask me to ask him to do this.

We need him to say yes.

Hey, everybody needs

something, commissioner.

Inspector Cramer here

needs to stop chomping his cigar.

Does that stop him?

What phone do I use?

Nero Wolfe speaking.

Uh, yeah, it's Archie.

Have you had breakfast yet?

No.

Anyway, listen. I'm calling on behalf

of the people of the state of New York.

Indeed.

Yes, yes. The whole shebang

from the commissioner down to Lieutenant Rowcliff

which is quite a distance.

Wou going to drag this out?

Hey, I'm through dragging.

Here's the point: we're flumped.

We want to do a playback of last Thursday night

with the original cast

and all you got to do to play your part

is let us in and just be there, right?

I've told my associates that it's almost certain

you're going to tell us to go to hell, and...

Very well.

Huh?

When would you like to do this?

Uh... well, as soon as possible?

Very well.

I never refuse a reasonable request from a client.

This request seems reasonable, therefore I grant it.

Shall we say 12:00?

Will that be convenient?

Uh... sure.

Yeah, yeah, that'll, uh, suit them fine.

I must've got the wrong number because...

Come on, spill it, Goodwin.

He said okay.

We're to be there at noon.

I didn't add that I had a strong suspicion

there was going to be script revisions.

Will you all please be seated as you were on Thursday evening.

Thank you.

Not by any of us, and not by any of the cast.

I was here...

Okay, I believe this is the way it was

when Mr. Wolfe entered.

Does anyone disagree?

Then I will ring Mr. Wolfe.

I will be sitting where Mrs. Jaffe was.

Uh, you gentlemen don't look very comfortable.

We're all right.

These people have been told

why they have been brought here?

Yes. Everybody's been completely informed.

Then, may we proceed?

Please do.

There was a little tingle in my spine.

I knew his look and manner as well as I did his voice

and there was no doubt about it...

he was going to pull one... or try to.

Miss Duday...

and gentlemen.

You understand that the purpose of this gathering

is for us to iterate our words and movements

of last Thursday evening.

But before we do so, I wish to make some remarks.

After you people left that evening

I told Mr. Goodwin that I thought I knew

who killed Priscilla Eades and Margaret Folmos.

I based that on two things:

first, my impressions of all of you...

and, second, the fact that

Mrs. Folmos was killed.

What?

How does a fact that Mrs. Folmos was murdered

solve Priscilla Eades murder?

Because the supposition that the attack on Mrs. Folmos

was solely for the purpose of getting the keys

to Miss Eades' apartment was clearly not acceptable

if any alternative could be had.

Well, maybe she, uh, recognized her attacker

and that's why she was killed.

That assumption was not impossible

but it implied that the murderer

was an egregious bungler and I doubted it.

I prefer to assume

exactly the opposite.

That Mrs. Folmos had been killed

not because she recognized her attacker

but because he knew she couldn't recognize him.

Is this for effect or do you think you're getting somewhere?

I am already somewhere.

I just told you who the murderer is.

Go on and spell it.

He wanted the keys, certainly

but he didn't have to kill Mrs. Folmos to get them.

He killed her because she was, herself, a danger to him.

As great a danger as Miss Eades.

It would have ne him

no good to kill the one

unless he killed the other.

I won't say I caught up with Wolfe

but at least I could see his dust.

And I admit that I had also seen Saul Panzer

not with any flourish, take a gun from his pocket

and rest it on his thigh.

I suppose that the point here is that Eric Hagh is not Hagh.

He's a ringer?

I knew all this Thursday evening

but there was a contradiction

that had to be solved.

What is that contradiction, Archie?

Uh, well, if, uh, Sarah Jaffe knew that it wasn't Hagh

how come she didn't say on Thursday night?

Are you saying you knew

who the murderer was that night

and didn't notify anybody?

Phooey. That's childish.

I had no evidence.

You have every scrap of information, Mr. Bowen, I have

and the services of Mr. Goodwin, to boot...

which is a great advantage

when his head is on straight.

It was only a hypothesis.

It only became more

when Mrs. Jaffe was killed

and it was violently, tragically

and completely validated.

But I still had no evidence

so I phoned Saul Panzer and supplied him with money

a newspaper photo of the man calling himself Mr. Hagh

and sent him on a flight

to Cahamarka, Peru.

You tell them, Saul.

At Cahamarka

I found people that knew Hagh

and I learned that Hagh was a professional gambler

that he had not been in Cahamarka in three years

and that this... is not Eric Hagh.

Now, everybody there knew about the paper

that Miss Eades had signed

giving the real Hagh half her fortune.

Hagh said that it was her idea to do it

but he was too proud a man

to sponge off a woman

so he just kept the paper as a souvenir.

I couldn't ask Hagh about it

'cause he had died in a snowslide three months ago.

But the man that I had pictures of

the man that I'm looking at right now

is Sigfreid Meucke, also a professional gambler

and he was in the mountains with Hagh

when the slide happened.

Armed with Miss Eades' letter

to her now deceased ex-husband

Meucke decided that to pursue his claim

for half of Miss Eades estate

would require his presence in New York.

And, of course, it would be fatal to his plans

if either Miss Eades or Mrs. Folmos

ever got a glimpse of him since they knew he wasn't Hagh.

There was only one way to solve that difficulty.

They had to die.

So, uh, why didn't Jaffe say anything?

Because it was not in her character to do so.

She didn't like to get involved with anyone or anything.

She came here Thursday to lend her name

to a legal action

only because she was under great obligation to Mr. Goodwin.

No, she did not denounce him.

But, somehow

indubitably made him aware that she knew

he was not Eric Hagh.

He knew immediately that he was in deadly peril from her

and he acted quickly and audaciously

taking the keys from her bag.

You waylaid Mrs. Jaffe.

You struck her

and strangled her

exactly as you had done to Miss Eades and Mrs. Folmos.

I said you were no bungler, sir

but the truth is...

Congratulations, Mr. Wolfe.

You must be very proud.

Well...

Gentlemen.

Come on, get up.

Come on.

Nice socks.

There you are.

Every Friday morning at 11:00, after Nero Wolfe

comes down from the plant rooms on the roof

he signs the salary checks.

There seems to be a check missing.

Ah, and what check would that be?

Yours.

Well, you know, I like to get paid

uh, for my labors, just like the next man

but, uh, last week I was on leave.

Uh, what-what's this for?

Enough of this flummery. Take your check.

But, technically, I wasn't here as your assistant

but as your client

therefore, it is I who should be paying you.

Now...

at present, this is all I can afford.

I don't get paid much.

Phooey.

Very well.

Archie!

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