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1
00:00:04,738 --> 00:00:05,904
Hi, Nick.
2
00:00:05,906 --> 00:00:08,473
Dang, Mrs. Roberts,
you got that pre-vacation glow.
3
00:00:08,475 --> 00:00:10,499
(CHUCKLES) Thank you, Nicholas.
4
00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:12,645
Someone just upped his holiday bonus.
5
00:00:12,647 --> 00:00:14,313
Oh, no, no, no,
I don't do it for the tips.
6
00:00:14,315 --> 00:00:16,782
Sexy just recognize sexy.
7
00:00:16,784 --> 00:00:18,784
Where are you and Mr.
Roberts off to this weekend?
8
00:00:18,786 --> 00:00:20,886
Oh, we're celebrating our
anniversary at a resort
9
00:00:20,888 --> 00:00:23,089
in Connecticut I've
been wanting to go to.
10
00:00:23,091 --> 00:00:25,558
I hear Barbra Streisand goes there.
11
00:00:25,560 --> 00:00:27,326
I don't know who that is.
12
00:00:27,328 --> 00:00:29,929
I'll make you a cassette.
13
00:00:29,931 --> 00:00:32,264
I don't know what that is.
14
00:00:32,266 --> 00:00:36,217
- I'm ready to go. (COUGHING)
- Wow, Mr. Roberts,
15
00:00:36,229 --> 00:00:39,729
you look like the first ten
seconds of a NyQuil commercial.
16
00:00:40,262 --> 00:00:41,707
- I'm fine.
- He's fine.
17
00:00:41,709 --> 00:00:44,276
I could be sick here or
I could be sick there.
18
00:00:44,278 --> 00:00:46,779
Yeah, you can be sick there...
it's nonrefundable.
19
00:00:46,781 --> 00:00:48,814
Here is a little health tip:
mix decongestant
20
00:00:48,816 --> 00:00:51,717
and a little bit of whiskey,
knock that cold right on out.
21
00:00:51,719 --> 00:00:53,352
Oh, it'll also give you the energy
22
00:00:53,354 --> 00:00:55,087
to record your first album in one night.
23
00:00:55,089 --> 00:00:56,856
Available on my website.
24
00:00:58,094 --> 00:00:59,573
(COUGHING)
25
00:00:59,585 --> 00:01:02,134
Hey, Nick. Who's ready for
their big anniversary?
26
00:01:02,146 --> 00:01:04,096
Whoa. Dad, are you okay?
27
00:01:04,098 --> 00:01:05,865
- I'm fine.
- He's fine.
28
00:01:05,867 --> 00:01:07,666
I've seen fine and this is
not what it looks like.
29
00:01:07,668 --> 00:01:10,236
Out of the way. Professional
doctor coming through.
30
00:01:10,238 --> 00:01:12,371
Okay, let me see your tongue.
31
00:01:13,441 --> 00:01:14,907
Oh, boy. What we have here
32
00:01:14,909 --> 00:01:18,292
is a little seasonal influenza.
33
00:01:18,407 --> 00:01:20,179
Wow, that very obvious diagnosis
34
00:01:20,181 --> 00:01:23,783
only cost Dad 150 grand
in med school bills.
35
00:01:23,785 --> 00:01:27,052
You need to stay in bed and
drink plenty of fluids.
36
00:01:27,054 --> 00:01:30,089
What if he stays in the car
and I park by the sprinklers?
37
00:01:31,278 --> 00:01:34,226
I'm sorry, Dad, there is
absolutely no way you can travel.
38
00:01:34,228 --> 00:01:37,163
But Mommy's wanted to go to
this place for ten years.
39
00:01:37,165 --> 00:01:40,049
It's all right,
I'll go in another ten years.
40
00:01:40,061 --> 00:01:42,389
You can spread my ashes there.
41
00:01:42,795 --> 00:01:46,472
I can't believe that I've ruined
this weekend for your mom.
42
00:01:46,474 --> 00:01:48,274
Dad, it's not your fault you got sick.
43
00:01:48,276 --> 00:01:50,476
Mommy says it is.
44
00:01:50,478 --> 00:01:53,145
Ugh. If only there was someone
who could take your place.
45
00:01:53,147 --> 00:01:56,056
Someone who doesn't
have a job, love life,
46
00:01:56,068 --> 00:01:59,871
or any other commitments to
prevent him from joining her.
47
00:02:00,021 --> 00:02:01,821
No. No. No way.
48
00:02:01,823 --> 00:02:04,757
No, I am not going on vacation
alone with my mother.
49
00:02:04,759 --> 00:02:06,759
But, Josh, it'll make her so happy,
50
00:02:06,761 --> 00:02:09,228
and it'll make me feel less guilty.
51
00:02:09,230 --> 00:02:11,931
Come on, Josh,
this could be his last wish.
52
00:02:13,034 --> 00:02:14,867
I thought it was just the flu.
53
00:02:14,869 --> 00:02:17,987
- Do you want him to go or not?
- Josh, please.
54
00:02:17,999 --> 00:02:20,767
It's my last wish.
55
00:02:21,569 --> 00:02:22,602
Oh, okay.
56
00:02:22,604 --> 00:02:24,704
Okay, fine, I will do it. Mom?
57
00:02:24,706 --> 00:02:27,791
What now? Are they closing
my favorite Chico's?
58
00:02:27,803 --> 00:02:30,576
No. I was just wondering if
I could take Dad's place
59
00:02:30,578 --> 00:02:32,812
and join you on your vacation.
60
00:02:32,814 --> 00:02:36,309
Oh, sweetie, that's okay,
I know you're busy.
61
00:02:36,321 --> 00:02:38,451
No, no, no, we've already debunked that.
62
00:02:38,453 --> 00:02:40,820
Really, Mom. I want to go.
63
00:02:40,822 --> 00:02:43,212
No. You don't have to.
64
00:02:43,224 --> 00:02:44,223
Okay, if you really don't want me...
65
00:02:44,225 --> 00:02:45,691
- I'll meet you downstairs.
- Yeah.
66
00:02:45,693 --> 00:02:47,293
Uh, bro, you know how when
67
00:02:47,295 --> 00:02:50,096
you go on a weekend with a chick,
I want all the details?
68
00:02:50,098 --> 00:02:52,414
Yeah, this is not one of those times.
69
00:02:53,234 --> 00:02:56,069
? La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ?
70
00:02:56,071 --> 00:02:58,738
? Come on, won't you take me home? ?
71
00:02:58,905 --> 00:03:03,032
Synced and corrected by johnyd13
~ www.addic7ed.com ~
72
00:03:08,228 --> 00:03:11,419
Oh, look at this place... it's gorgeous.
73
00:03:11,421 --> 00:03:13,355
- Hi.
- Hey.
74
00:03:13,357 --> 00:03:15,323
- JUDY: Hello.
- Welcome to Cabot Hill Inn.
75
00:03:15,325 --> 00:03:18,293
And whom do I have the
pleasure of checking in today?
76
00:03:18,295 --> 00:03:19,594
It should be under Roberts.
77
00:03:19,596 --> 00:03:21,396
Uh, yes. Mr. and Mrs. Roberts.
78
00:03:21,398 --> 00:03:24,132
Uh, technically yes,
but obviously we're not...
79
00:03:24,134 --> 00:03:26,001
Oh, no judgments here... actually,
80
00:03:26,003 --> 00:03:27,369
it's quite refreshing to see
81
00:03:27,371 --> 00:03:29,604
an older woman with a
younger man for once.
82
00:03:29,606 --> 00:03:32,507
- Well, thank you.
- Why would you say "thank you"?
83
00:03:32,509 --> 00:03:34,976
- She's my mother.
- Yes, she is.
84
00:03:34,978 --> 00:03:36,144
Get it, girl.
85
00:03:36,146 --> 00:03:37,545
(CHUCKLES)
86
00:03:37,547 --> 00:03:40,181
I have you for two nights
in a garden view room.
87
00:03:40,183 --> 00:03:42,050
- May I escort the lovely couple?
- Mm-hmm.
88
00:03:42,052 --> 00:03:43,351
We're not a couple.
89
00:03:43,353 --> 00:03:46,311
(WHISPERS): I don't like labels, either.
90
00:03:47,158 --> 00:03:49,758
Um, what the hell is this?
91
00:03:51,094 --> 00:03:53,249
It's all part of your Lovers Package.
92
00:03:53,261 --> 00:03:54,272
Our what?
93
00:03:54,284 --> 00:03:56,931
Harry must have booked
this to surprise me.
94
00:03:56,933 --> 00:03:59,467
Some guests have been known
to repurpose the rose petals
95
00:03:59,469 --> 00:04:01,236
by sprinkling them in the bathtub.
96
00:04:01,238 --> 00:04:03,805
Okay, it was me.
97
00:04:03,807 --> 00:04:06,207
First off, thanks,
but we won't be partaking
98
00:04:06,209 --> 00:04:07,820
in the Lovers Package.
99
00:04:07,832 --> 00:04:09,344
You sure? It's already paid for.
100
00:04:09,346 --> 00:04:11,155
And it comes with a lot of perks.
101
00:04:11,167 --> 00:04:14,382
- Sorry, but we're not...
- Uh, quiet, lover.
102
00:04:15,485 --> 00:04:17,118
What kind of perks?
103
00:04:17,120 --> 00:04:18,987
For one, you get a
hundred-dollar-a-day credit
104
00:04:18,989 --> 00:04:20,789
to spend anywhere at the resort,
105
00:04:20,791 --> 00:04:23,863
which I recommend using at
our four-star restaurant.
106
00:04:23,875 --> 00:04:25,328
Although...
107
00:04:25,340 --> 00:04:28,063
we do have an excellent
room service selection
108
00:04:28,065 --> 00:04:30,965
should you prefer to... stay in.
109
00:04:30,967 --> 00:04:33,401
First off, she is my mother,
I am her son.
110
00:04:33,403 --> 00:04:35,770
I am here instead of my
father because he's sick.
111
00:04:35,772 --> 00:04:39,207
That's a long way to go to get
her to call you Daddy, but okay.
112
00:04:41,045 --> 00:04:42,410
You doing okay there, Dad?
113
00:04:42,412 --> 00:04:45,280
Andrew, is that you?
114
00:04:46,883 --> 00:04:48,683
Here, I'm gonna take your temperature.
115
00:04:48,685 --> 00:04:50,218
I'll take my pants off.
116
00:04:50,220 --> 00:04:52,253
No, no, no, no. With this.
117
00:04:52,255 --> 00:04:54,322
It goes in your ear.
118
00:04:55,810 --> 00:04:57,192
What's the temperature?
119
00:04:57,194 --> 00:05:00,862
I don't know, I haven't gotten
through all the hair yet.
120
00:05:00,864 --> 00:05:02,230
(THERMOMETER BEEPS)
121
00:05:02,232 --> 00:05:04,432
Well, your fever's actually gone down.
122
00:05:04,434 --> 00:05:07,302
Here. Have some soup.
123
00:05:07,304 --> 00:05:09,804
It looks like it's from a can.
124
00:05:09,806 --> 00:05:12,763
I wanted the kind my mom used to make.
125
00:05:12,775 --> 00:05:15,810
How am I supposed to know
how to make Nana's soup?
126
00:05:15,812 --> 00:05:17,245
I'll tell you the recipe.
127
00:05:17,247 --> 00:05:19,447
Come closer. It hurts to talk.
128
00:05:19,449 --> 00:05:20,949
(GROANS)
129
00:05:20,951 --> 00:05:22,150
All right, fine, but...
130
00:05:22,152 --> 00:05:24,018
(SNEEZES LOUDLY)
131
00:05:30,327 --> 00:05:32,660
(GRUNTS)
132
00:05:32,662 --> 00:05:35,864
Ma. You never let us touch the minibar.
133
00:05:35,866 --> 00:05:37,499
I once opened a bag of caramel corn,
134
00:05:37,501 --> 00:05:39,367
and you said I ruined Europe.
135
00:05:39,369 --> 00:05:42,203
Yes, but here we get a
hundred-dollar daily credit,
136
00:05:42,205 --> 00:05:45,440
so I am currently enjoying
something called a Fresca.
137
00:05:45,442 --> 00:05:47,108
All right.
138
00:05:47,110 --> 00:05:49,978
Let's see if we can hit
a hundred exactly, huh?
139
00:05:49,980 --> 00:05:52,313
It'll be a fun game. All right.
140
00:05:53,316 --> 00:05:54,610
These look good.
141
00:05:54,622 --> 00:05:57,352
No, not the fancy nuts!
142
00:05:57,354 --> 00:05:59,187
Too expensive. Here, have some gum...
143
00:05:59,189 --> 00:06:01,222
only five dollars.
144
00:06:01,224 --> 00:06:03,091
Such a fun game.
145
00:06:03,093 --> 00:06:06,294
So, get a load of the activities
on the Lovers Package.
146
00:06:06,296 --> 00:06:08,830
Yeah, let's go ahead and
avoid the word "lovers"
147
00:06:08,832 --> 00:06:10,231
for the rest of the weekend.
148
00:06:10,233 --> 00:06:12,434
Champagne brunch, tango dancing,
149
00:06:12,436 --> 00:06:15,937
karaoke... oh, we can do a couples duet!
150
00:06:15,939 --> 00:06:18,339
- How about a couples do-not?
- Oh...
151
00:06:18,341 --> 00:06:21,242
Lighten up. There's nothing
romantic about this.
152
00:06:21,244 --> 00:06:22,811
- Yeah.
- Oh.
153
00:06:22,813 --> 00:06:25,313
(CHUCKLES): That must
be our first activity.
154
00:06:25,315 --> 00:06:27,649
An in-room couples massage.
155
00:06:27,651 --> 00:06:29,884
No. No, no, no, no, no.
156
00:06:29,886 --> 00:06:34,088
Oh, just keep your eyes closed,
you won't even know I'm here.
157
00:06:34,090 --> 00:06:37,225
Oh, yeah, right there, yes!
158
00:06:37,227 --> 00:06:39,327
Oh, that's it,
159
00:06:39,329 --> 00:06:41,162
that's it, that's it!
160
00:06:41,164 --> 00:06:42,831
Oh...!
161
00:06:42,833 --> 00:06:44,666
Bro, I got to get out of here.
162
00:06:44,668 --> 00:06:46,501
You do not want to come home, trust me.
163
00:06:46,503 --> 00:06:48,503
Taking care of dad is a nightmare.
164
00:06:48,505 --> 00:06:50,972
I'm pretty sure I heard
Mom have an orgasm.
165
00:06:50,974 --> 00:06:54,876
Dad sneezed in my mouth,
and it had a flavor.
166
00:06:54,878 --> 00:06:56,344
Everyone here thinks we're a couple.
167
00:06:56,346 --> 00:06:57,612
Everyone everywhere thinks that.
168
00:06:57,614 --> 00:06:59,247
They just don't say it to your face.
169
00:06:59,249 --> 00:07:01,082
Andrew, I'm serious. I'm leaving.
170
00:07:01,084 --> 00:07:02,750
So soon?
171
00:07:02,752 --> 00:07:04,385
Got to go.
172
00:07:04,387 --> 00:07:05,820
Hi, there.
173
00:07:05,822 --> 00:07:07,322
Sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop.
174
00:07:07,324 --> 00:07:09,524
I just... was.
175
00:07:09,526 --> 00:07:10,792
Right.
176
00:07:10,794 --> 00:07:11,826
So you're leaving, huh?
177
00:07:11,828 --> 00:07:13,194
I thought you just got here.
178
00:07:13,196 --> 00:07:15,897
I did, and... I'm not leaving.
179
00:07:17,027 --> 00:07:19,200
- (CHUCKLES) I'm Josh.
- Natalie. Hi.
180
00:07:19,202 --> 00:07:20,702
So, what brings you
181
00:07:20,704 --> 00:07:22,971
to the Cabot Hill Inn, Natalie?
182
00:07:22,973 --> 00:07:24,472
- Bachelorette party.
- Ah.
183
00:07:24,474 --> 00:07:27,408
My brother's marrying a
23-year-old froyo artist.
184
00:07:27,410 --> 00:07:29,711
And I am stuck here sharing
the honeymoon suite
185
00:07:29,713 --> 00:07:31,479
with ten of her sorority sisters.
186
00:07:31,481 --> 00:07:34,015
- Oh.
- Can you think of anything worse?
187
00:07:34,017 --> 00:07:37,252
I can. Sharing a room with your mom.
188
00:07:37,254 --> 00:07:39,587
Oh, my God, can you even imagine?
189
00:07:39,589 --> 00:07:42,824
(CHUCKLES MOCKINGLY) I
don't have to imagine.
190
00:07:42,826 --> 00:07:44,158
Oh, wow.
191
00:07:44,160 --> 00:07:46,094
You're here with your mom.
192
00:07:46,096 --> 00:07:47,328
Uh-huh.
193
00:07:47,330 --> 00:07:49,798
(WOMEN WHOOPING)
194
00:07:49,810 --> 00:07:52,233
Oh, they whoo'd.
That's, uh, bachelorette
195
00:07:52,235 --> 00:07:56,237
for "time to chug champagne
while wearing a penis crown."
196
00:07:56,239 --> 00:08:00,623
Wow, I didn't realize I was
in the presence of royalty.
197
00:08:00,635 --> 00:08:02,110
(LAUGHS) So, maybe I'll see you around.
198
00:08:02,112 --> 00:08:04,345
Definitely. I'll be
the guy with the mom.
199
00:08:04,347 --> 00:08:05,580
(LAUGHS): Okay.
200
00:08:05,582 --> 00:08:07,448
Bye.
201
00:08:10,771 --> 00:08:13,187
- Mom?
- Be right out.
202
00:08:13,189 --> 00:08:15,223
So, guess what just happened...
203
00:08:15,225 --> 00:08:17,825
Wait. Where's the cot I ordered?
204
00:08:17,827 --> 00:08:19,127
Oh, they ran out.
205
00:08:19,129 --> 00:08:21,796
Something about 12 girls
sleeping in one room.
206
00:08:25,387 --> 00:08:27,435
That's what you're wearing to bed?
207
00:08:27,437 --> 00:08:28,870
Listen, this was supposed to be
208
00:08:28,872 --> 00:08:30,405
my anniversary weekend with your father.
209
00:08:30,407 --> 00:08:32,473
You're lucky I'm wearing anything.
210
00:08:36,164 --> 00:08:39,080
So, put on your jammies...
what are you waiting for?
211
00:08:39,082 --> 00:08:41,349
My life to make sense.
212
00:08:41,351 --> 00:08:43,618
You know, I think I'm just
gonna sleep on the floor.
213
00:08:43,620 --> 00:08:45,920
Oh, don't be ridiculous...
when you were little,
214
00:08:45,922 --> 00:08:49,157
you used to love to sleep
in the bed with us.
215
00:08:49,159 --> 00:08:52,193
Then you started high school,
it wasn't cool anymore.
216
00:08:52,195 --> 00:08:55,730
So, anyway, I was just in
the lobby, and I met...
217
00:08:55,732 --> 00:08:57,599
Joshie, do you remember the last time
218
00:08:57,601 --> 00:09:00,001
we went away together, just you and me?
219
00:09:00,003 --> 00:09:01,269
It was Hershey Park.
220
00:09:01,271 --> 00:09:03,071
You were ten years old.
221
00:09:03,073 --> 00:09:05,239
Now it's 30 years later, and...
222
00:09:05,241 --> 00:09:07,575
I just want to say how
much it means to me
223
00:09:07,577 --> 00:09:10,144
that you want to spend
this time with me.
224
00:09:10,146 --> 00:09:11,279
Mm-hmm.
225
00:09:11,840 --> 00:09:13,881
Cool, cool. So, I was in the lobby...
226
00:09:13,883 --> 00:09:15,984
You know, the reality is,
227
00:09:15,986 --> 00:09:18,753
this is probably the last trip
we'll ever take alone together.
228
00:09:19,978 --> 00:09:23,588
Yeah, you're gonna meet
someone and build a life,
229
00:09:24,497 --> 00:09:26,627
and... I just want you to know,
it's a real gift
230
00:09:26,639 --> 00:09:30,575
that you want to make me your
priority for these two days.
231
00:09:30,934 --> 00:09:33,201
(VOICE BREAKS): I'm gonna
cherish every moment.
232
00:09:33,203 --> 00:09:35,870
So, what were you
saying about the lobby?
233
00:09:37,140 --> 00:09:38,539
Oh, I, uh...
234
00:09:38,541 --> 00:09:40,141
Doesn't matter.
235
00:09:40,143 --> 00:09:43,177
Okay. So come...
get into bed with your mother.
236
00:09:53,823 --> 00:09:55,273
There's just something so delicious
237
00:09:55,285 --> 00:09:59,420
about a waffle they're forced
to make in front of you.
238
00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:02,319
I don't know about you,
but I'm having a wonderful time.
239
00:10:02,321 --> 00:10:04,889
I am so glad. Cheers.
240
00:10:04,891 --> 00:10:06,557
(GLASSES CLINKING) We're
not kissing again!
241
00:10:06,559 --> 00:10:08,058
We're not a couple!
242
00:10:08,060 --> 00:10:10,294
It's complicated.
243
00:10:10,296 --> 00:10:11,929
(CHUCKLES)
244
00:10:11,931 --> 00:10:13,197
You know what?
245
00:10:13,199 --> 00:10:14,865
I'm going to, uh, get some more coffee.
246
00:10:14,867 --> 00:10:16,467
You don't have any coffee.
247
00:10:16,469 --> 00:10:19,370
Well, if I get some, that'll be more.
248
00:10:21,257 --> 00:10:22,964
Hey, Natalie.
249
00:10:22,976 --> 00:10:24,775
How was your wild bachelorette night?
250
00:10:24,777 --> 00:10:26,243
Oh, it was pretty wild.
251
00:10:26,245 --> 00:10:29,113
Yeah, in fact, Officer Nasty
came to break things up,
252
00:10:29,115 --> 00:10:32,917
but turns out he was not a
member of the police force.
253
00:10:32,919 --> 00:10:36,820
Really? Did the pink fuzzy
handcuffs give him away?
254
00:10:36,822 --> 00:10:38,689
(LAUGHS): They did.
255
00:10:38,691 --> 00:10:40,357
So, what's your plan for today?
256
00:10:40,359 --> 00:10:42,559
I was about to hit the hot tub.
257
00:10:42,561 --> 00:10:44,862
If you have time, join me.
258
00:10:44,864 --> 00:10:46,530
Let me think about that for a second.
259
00:10:46,532 --> 00:10:48,032
I will be right there.
260
00:10:50,253 --> 00:10:51,735
I see you.
261
00:10:52,069 --> 00:10:54,271
I... see you.
262
00:10:58,563 --> 00:10:59,810
So, we have an hour and a half
263
00:10:59,812 --> 00:11:02,613
until our couples meditation...
what should we do?
264
00:11:02,615 --> 00:11:05,916
Well, I was thinking that
maybe we could spend just...
265
00:11:05,918 --> 00:11:07,418
a little time apart?
266
00:11:08,097 --> 00:11:09,286
Why?
267
00:11:10,056 --> 00:11:11,655
Okay. Uh, the truth is...
268
00:11:11,657 --> 00:11:14,258
I mean, isn't the whole point
to spend time together?
269
00:11:14,260 --> 00:11:17,117
What could be more important than that?
270
00:11:17,311 --> 00:11:19,430
Nothing in the world, ever,
271
00:11:19,432 --> 00:11:22,657
except maybe the women's tennis clinic.
272
00:11:22,669 --> 00:11:24,735
You were just saying how you
wanted to work on your backhand.
273
00:11:24,737 --> 00:11:28,072
Yeah, I'd sure like to beat that
loudmouth, Carol Mendelson.
274
00:11:28,074 --> 00:11:31,241
She's become so cocky
since she got her new hip.
275
00:11:31,243 --> 00:11:33,850
Great. Well, it starts in 15 minutes...
276
00:11:33,862 --> 00:11:35,446
Oh, my God... so you'd
better go get changed.
277
00:11:35,448 --> 00:11:37,915
- I will take care of the bill.
- All right. Don't forget
278
00:11:37,917 --> 00:11:39,950
to put it on our daily credit, and...
279
00:11:39,952 --> 00:11:41,518
BOTH: Write it in the ledger.
280
00:11:41,520 --> 00:11:43,620
Got it. I'll, uh, I'll see
you in the meditation room
281
00:11:43,622 --> 00:11:45,589
- in 90 minutes.
- All right.
282
00:11:45,591 --> 00:11:47,458
? ?
283
00:11:48,781 --> 00:11:50,861
Hey. How's it going in the sick ward?
284
00:11:50,863 --> 00:11:52,396
Not good.
285
00:11:52,398 --> 00:11:54,665
My father just made me
put VapoRub on his chest,
286
00:11:54,667 --> 00:11:58,302
and when my hand came up,
it looked like the Wolfman.
287
00:11:58,304 --> 00:11:59,670
(COUGHING)
288
00:12:01,119 --> 00:12:02,072
Are you sick?
289
00:12:02,074 --> 00:12:03,974
What? Of course not. I don't get sick.
290
00:12:03,976 --> 00:12:05,909
I have a superior immune system.
291
00:12:05,911 --> 00:12:07,177
(COUGHING)
292
00:12:08,117 --> 00:12:09,179
Oh, honey.
293
00:12:09,181 --> 00:12:11,315
Do not come home.
294
00:12:11,317 --> 00:12:13,217
I don't want you getting the baby sick.
295
00:12:13,219 --> 00:12:16,653
I'm not sick. I... (COUGHS)
296
00:12:16,655 --> 00:12:18,088
Oh, my God.
297
00:12:18,090 --> 00:12:21,425
Is this what it feels like to be mortal?
298
00:12:21,427 --> 00:12:23,360
Andrew, I just coughed something up,
299
00:12:23,362 --> 00:12:25,829
and I think it's something I need.
300
00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:29,833
? ?
301
00:12:32,508 --> 00:12:33,404
Aw. Hi.
302
00:12:33,406 --> 00:12:34,638
Hi.
303
00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:36,640
So, how was tennis?
304
00:12:36,642 --> 00:12:38,887
Not great. I missed you the whole time.
305
00:12:38,899 --> 00:12:40,310
- Oh...
- What were you doing?
306
00:12:40,312 --> 00:12:42,880
Soaking in the hot tub. By myself.
307
00:12:42,882 --> 00:12:44,548
(MEDITATION BOWL DINGS)
308
00:12:44,550 --> 00:12:47,751
For the next hour, I will lead
you in a guided meditation.
309
00:12:47,753 --> 00:12:50,477
Please begin by covering your eyes.
310
00:12:52,138 --> 00:12:53,815
Mmm...
311
00:12:53,827 --> 00:12:56,560
INSTRUCTOR: Listen to your breath.
312
00:12:56,562 --> 00:12:59,229
Feel your body in the room.
313
00:13:06,471 --> 00:13:07,371
(SIGHS): Ah...
314
00:13:07,373 --> 00:13:10,074
I can't believe I have
to go meet my mom.
315
00:13:10,076 --> 00:13:12,476
You really know how to
end a make-out sesh.
316
00:13:14,111 --> 00:13:15,449
What are you doing later?
317
00:13:15,461 --> 00:13:18,148
Well, the other bachelorettes
are going to another strip club.
318
00:13:18,150 --> 00:13:20,818
See, last night they got
arrested by Officer Nasty,
319
00:13:20,820 --> 00:13:24,588
so tonight they have a court
date with Judge Johnson.
320
00:13:24,590 --> 00:13:26,090
Anyway,
321
00:13:26,092 --> 00:13:28,158
I have the room all to myself, so...
322
00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:30,761
So, I should probably
come keep you company,
323
00:13:30,763 --> 00:13:34,331
which I can do... and I can't
believe I'm about to say this...
324
00:13:34,333 --> 00:13:36,934
after I tuck my mother into bed.
325
00:13:36,936 --> 00:13:38,535
(LAUGHS)
326
00:13:38,537 --> 00:13:40,737
Shall we?
327
00:13:41,529 --> 00:13:43,607
Hey, where's your rollaway bed?
328
00:13:43,609 --> 00:13:45,242
Oh. Uh...
329
00:13:45,244 --> 00:13:46,844
Do they come and take
it away every morning?
330
00:13:46,846 --> 00:13:49,664
Yes, that's exactly what they do.
331
00:13:57,256 --> 00:13:58,460
(MEDITATION BOWL DINGS)
332
00:13:58,472 --> 00:14:00,224
Ah...
333
00:14:03,820 --> 00:14:06,763
While you're up,
can you get me some tea?
334
00:14:07,967 --> 00:14:10,267
I'm not up. But while you're up,
335
00:14:10,269 --> 00:14:13,203
could you get me some more Kleenex?
336
00:14:13,205 --> 00:14:17,141
If you're getting Kleenex,
I can really use some tea.
337
00:14:17,143 --> 00:14:18,775
(GROANS)
338
00:14:18,777 --> 00:14:21,478
Hey. Just checking in.
339
00:14:21,480 --> 00:14:22,679
Oh, Eve, thank God!
340
00:14:22,681 --> 00:14:25,210
We need Kleenex and tea.
341
00:14:25,222 --> 00:14:27,684
Actually, I could use some tea, too.
342
00:14:27,686 --> 00:14:29,786
So that's two teas, Kleenex...
343
00:14:29,788 --> 00:14:31,822
Is there anything else, Dad?
344
00:14:31,824 --> 00:14:33,524
You-you want her to make Nana's soup?
345
00:14:33,526 --> 00:14:36,460
I could really go for some Nana's soup.
346
00:14:36,462 --> 00:14:39,263
Guys, I-I'm sorry,
but I just got off a long shift,
347
00:14:39,265 --> 00:14:41,198
and I got to let Wyatt's sitter go.
348
00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:43,901
(WHINING): Please,
I need that specific soup
349
00:14:43,903 --> 00:14:46,503
I just learned about.
350
00:14:47,313 --> 00:14:49,673
Wow. I'm a pediatrician,
351
00:14:49,675 --> 00:14:53,277
and you're literally a bigger
baby than any of my patients.
352
00:14:53,279 --> 00:14:56,747
I'm not a baby. You're a baby.
353
00:14:56,749 --> 00:14:58,448
Good one.
354
00:14:58,450 --> 00:14:59,683
Okay,
355
00:14:59,685 --> 00:15:02,352
I'll go ask the sitter to stay longer.
356
00:15:02,354 --> 00:15:04,288
(GROANS)
357
00:15:07,322 --> 00:15:09,860
You're sure you don't feel
well enough for karaoke?
358
00:15:09,862 --> 00:15:11,929
(WEAKLY): Sadly, I don't.
359
00:15:11,931 --> 00:15:13,230
I don't feel right about going.
360
00:15:13,232 --> 00:15:15,065
I'll stay here and take care of you.
361
00:15:15,067 --> 00:15:16,867
No. No.
362
00:15:17,826 --> 00:15:20,904
The best medicine for me is
you having fun at karaoke.
363
00:15:20,906 --> 00:15:22,773
(COUGHING)
364
00:15:22,775 --> 00:15:24,274
You go. Go.
365
00:15:24,276 --> 00:15:26,176
I'll stay here and rest.
366
00:15:26,178 --> 00:15:28,712
All right.
367
00:15:28,714 --> 00:15:30,881
I'm gonna sing "You're
Always on My Mind,"
368
00:15:30,883 --> 00:15:32,449
because you are.
369
00:15:32,451 --> 00:15:33,483
And then I'll sing
370
00:15:33,485 --> 00:15:35,986
"Baby Got Back," because I do.
371
00:15:36,889 --> 00:15:39,189
(DOOR CLOSES)
372
00:15:39,992 --> 00:15:42,259
? ?
373
00:15:44,330 --> 00:15:47,564
Wow, Mrs. Roberts, you killed
that "Baby Got Back" solo.
374
00:15:48,701 --> 00:15:49,833
I'll charge this to your room.
375
00:15:49,835 --> 00:15:51,768
Yes, just put it on our daily credit.
376
00:15:51,770 --> 00:15:53,237
Oh. That's been exceeded.
377
00:15:53,239 --> 00:15:55,505
No, that's not possible...
I know for a fact
378
00:15:55,507 --> 00:15:57,841
that I have $13.47 left.
379
00:15:57,843 --> 00:16:01,745
I had $19.81 left,
but I bought a Toblerone,
380
00:16:01,747 --> 00:16:03,814
and a Zantac.
381
00:16:03,816 --> 00:16:07,517
Well, our system shows that
the last of the credit
382
00:16:07,519 --> 00:16:10,754
was just used for two
beers at the lobby bar.
383
00:16:12,715 --> 00:16:15,298
That's why I don't date the young ones.
384
00:16:15,483 --> 00:16:17,694
They always hurt you.
385
00:16:19,698 --> 00:16:21,531
Can I just say thank
you for being so cool
386
00:16:21,533 --> 00:16:23,467
about me having to
spend time with my mom.
387
00:16:23,469 --> 00:16:25,636
Seriously, I bet she was
happy my dad got sick
388
00:16:25,638 --> 00:16:27,571
so she could guilt me into coming.
389
00:16:27,573 --> 00:16:29,940
But now... I'm glad I came.
390
00:16:30,900 --> 00:16:32,843
- Is that so?
- Oh.
391
00:16:32,845 --> 00:16:34,144
Mom.
392
00:16:34,146 --> 00:16:36,413
You think I guilted you into coming?
393
00:16:36,415 --> 00:16:38,415
You asked to come.
394
00:16:38,417 --> 00:16:39,916
Did you just hear a whoo?
395
00:16:39,918 --> 00:16:43,281
I think I heard a whoo.
You know, I better go check.
396
00:16:44,891 --> 00:16:47,124
Well... yeah, when I asked to come,
397
00:16:47,126 --> 00:16:48,859
I was just playing along
with your little game.
398
00:16:48,861 --> 00:16:51,461
What game? - The one where you act
like you don't want me to do
399
00:16:51,463 --> 00:16:53,997
the thing we both know you
desperately want me to do.
400
00:16:53,999 --> 00:16:55,432
I wasn't playing a game.
401
00:16:55,434 --> 00:16:57,067
You said you wanted to join me.
402
00:16:57,069 --> 00:16:58,969
Apparently, that was a lie.
403
00:16:58,971 --> 00:17:01,138
- Look, I didn't mean to...
- Aw, save it.
404
00:17:01,140 --> 00:17:03,106
And don't follow me.
405
00:17:04,943 --> 00:17:07,511
I can't even look at you.
406
00:17:09,315 --> 00:17:10,847
My throat hurts.
407
00:17:10,849 --> 00:17:12,416
My chest hurts.
408
00:17:12,418 --> 00:17:15,171
- Eve...!
- Eve...!
409
00:17:15,183 --> 00:17:16,953
Yes, I get it... you're sick,
410
00:17:16,955 --> 00:17:18,922
you're very, very sick.
411
00:17:18,924 --> 00:17:21,325
- So here is your blanket.
- Ah.
412
00:17:21,327 --> 00:17:22,893
Here's your warm water with lemon.
413
00:17:22,895 --> 00:17:24,528
And I'm done taking care of...
414
00:17:24,530 --> 00:17:26,463
(BOTH SNEEZE LOUDLY)
415
00:17:26,465 --> 00:17:28,165
(ANDREW GROANING)
416
00:17:28,167 --> 00:17:30,867
Welcome aboard.
417
00:17:41,469 --> 00:17:44,907
- Mom?
- Wow, took you long enough.
418
00:17:44,909 --> 00:17:46,733
You told me not to follow you.
419
00:17:46,745 --> 00:17:49,313
Well, obviously,
I wanted you to follow me.
420
00:17:49,315 --> 00:17:51,415
You see? This is the game
I was talking about.
421
00:17:51,417 --> 00:17:53,483
Okay, so sometimes I play the game,
422
00:17:53,485 --> 00:17:55,252
but I was genuinely thrilled
423
00:17:55,254 --> 00:17:56,954
to spend time with you this weekend,
424
00:17:56,956 --> 00:18:00,287
because I thought you
wanted to spend time with me.
425
00:18:00,299 --> 00:18:01,758
Ma, I did.
426
00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:03,727
But then I met Natalie.
427
00:18:03,729 --> 00:18:05,929
Well, you could've told
me instead of tricking me
428
00:18:05,931 --> 00:18:08,031
and sneaking around.
429
00:18:08,033 --> 00:18:10,100
You're right. I should have.
430
00:18:10,102 --> 00:18:12,169
I'm sorry I hurt your feelings.
431
00:18:12,171 --> 00:18:14,326
All right. Thank you.
432
00:18:14,794 --> 00:18:16,673
Anything else you're sorry for?
433
00:18:18,673 --> 00:18:22,840
I'm sorry I took this special
time with you for granted.
434
00:18:22,842 --> 00:18:24,908
That's nice.
435
00:18:24,910 --> 00:18:26,677
But I was hoping you'd
say you were sorry
436
00:18:26,679 --> 00:18:30,047
for pushing us over the
hundred-dollar daily limit.
437
00:18:31,884 --> 00:18:34,551
I am sorry for that, too.
438
00:18:35,695 --> 00:18:37,663
- Okay?
- Okay.
439
00:18:38,424 --> 00:18:40,424
(CHUCKLES)
440
00:18:40,426 --> 00:18:42,860
Now go and see your new friend.
441
00:18:42,862 --> 00:18:45,562
I will, after you and I do karaoke.
442
00:18:45,564 --> 00:18:48,665
Oh, you don't want to
do karaoke with me.
443
00:18:48,667 --> 00:18:50,521
- Yes, I do.
- No, you don't have to.
444
00:18:50,533 --> 00:18:54,471
- Mom, please do karaoke...
- You got to admit this is a fun game.
445
00:18:54,473 --> 00:18:56,473
You.
446
00:18:58,077 --> 00:19:01,845
After we get better,
we should burn this couch.
447
00:19:03,149 --> 00:19:06,416
It's not already burning? I feel so hot.
448
00:19:07,586 --> 00:19:10,954
(SHIVERING): Really? I'm freezing.
449
00:19:10,956 --> 00:19:12,523
All right, all right, all right.
450
00:19:12,525 --> 00:19:16,360
Dr. Nick is making a house
call with three doses
451
00:19:16,362 --> 00:19:18,996
of his patented feel-better party juice.
452
00:19:20,065 --> 00:19:23,300
Now... the whiskey's
gonna burn at first,
453
00:19:23,302 --> 00:19:24,803
but that just means it's working.
454
00:19:24,815 --> 00:19:28,038
And then we're gonna cool it off
with this cold medicine, okay?
455
00:19:28,040 --> 00:19:29,166
(CHUCKLES)
456
00:19:29,178 --> 00:19:30,974
Side effects may include:
457
00:19:30,976 --> 00:19:32,709
(SNAPS FINGERS) Mm-hmm...
458
00:19:33,913 --> 00:19:35,573
Mixed in with a little bit of:
459
00:19:35,585 --> 00:19:38,115
Oh. Okay.
460
00:19:39,451 --> 00:19:40,780
Okay.
461
00:19:41,504 --> 00:19:43,453
Bottoms up.
462
00:19:45,824 --> 00:19:47,624
- (WHOOPS LOUDLY)
- (ANDREW GROANS)
463
00:19:47,626 --> 00:19:49,193
- Oh, oh, oh...
- Ugh...
464
00:19:49,195 --> 00:19:52,262
Oh, here comes the side
effects. Ah, damn.
465
00:19:52,264 --> 00:19:54,464
Ah, damn.
466
00:19:56,035 --> 00:19:58,087
BOTH: ? Islands in the stream ?
467
00:19:58,099 --> 00:20:00,304
? That is what we are ?
468
00:20:00,306 --> 00:20:02,480
? No one in between ?
469
00:20:02,492 --> 00:20:04,610
? How can we be wrong ?
470
00:20:04,622 --> 00:20:06,930
? Sail away with me ?
471
00:20:06,942 --> 00:20:08,812
? To another world ?
472
00:20:08,814 --> 00:20:10,914
? Making... ? - ? Making love ?
473
00:20:10,916 --> 00:20:13,317
? To each other, uh-huh ?
474
00:20:13,319 --> 00:20:16,453
? From one lover to another ?
475
00:20:16,455 --> 00:20:18,322
? Uh-huh... ?
476
00:20:18,606 --> 00:20:23,300
Synced and corrected by johnyd13
~ www.addic7ed.com ~
477
00:20:23,350 --> 00:20:27,900
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