All language subtitles for The Love Boat S04E09 She Stole His Heart 1080p WEB-DL AAC2 0 H 264-squalor_track3_[eng]

♪ Love ♪

♪ exciting and new ♪

♪ come aboard ♪

♪ we're expecting you ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ life's sweetest reward ♪

♪ let it flow ♪

♪ it floats back to you ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ soon will be making
another run ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ promises something
for everyone ♪

♪ set a course for adventure ♪

♪ your mind on a new romance ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ won't hurt anymore ♪

♪ it's an open smile ♪

♪ on a friendly shore ♪

♪ it's love ♪

♪ welcome aboard,
it's l-o-o-o-ove ♪

Uh...

No, not yet.

Relax, they'll be here.

I know.
I'm just a little excited.

My younger brother is finally
getting married.

Don't be so sure.

The last cruise he was on,
he brought a woman

he was supposed to marry,
and that didn't work out.

Yes, but this time it looks
like the real thing.

According to Marshall,
she's beautiful, considerate,

intelligent, and inherited
a fortune in silver mines.

Now that sounds like
the real thing to me.

There they are.

Marshall.

Merrill, I'd like to have you
meet Natalie Martin,

the future
Mrs. Marshall stubing.

How do you do,
miss Martin?

Oh, don't be so formal,
merrill.

You're going to be my brother
in a couple of days.

You know I still
can't believe this --

that you, of all people,
are finally settling down.

Merrill, I'm a changed man.

Why, from the day
I met Natalie,

I haven't so much as looked
at another woman.

Marshall...

Darling.

Annette?

I knew we'd meet again.

Annette, I'd like to have you
meet, uh --

later.

And you will have
a wonderful trip this time.

Oh, darling?

Excuse us, uh, merrill.

We have to go to the cabin
for a prenuptial chat...

Darling.

Boy, that's what I call
handsome.

Yeah, beautiful.

It doesn't look tough enough,
though.

The photographer was supposed to
make me look tough.

Look -- he was only a
photographer, not a magician.

Well, hello, young lady.

Sign that for you today.

"Swag loves ya."

All right, there you go.
"Swag loves ya."

It's him!

It's Steve swaggert,
private eye.

Oh, yeah.

Wow, what a guy.
He's the greatest.

Relax, Vicki,
he's just an actor.

Just an actor?

All the cruise ships voted him
"TV hero of the year!"

That's why he's here --
to get an award.

Personally,
I voted for miss piggy.

Welcome aboard, miss huggins.
You're on the fiesta deck,

and that's one deck down.

[ Southern accent ]
Thank you.

I've never been on a ship
like this before.

You see,
I'm from Oklahoma city.

[ Southern accent ]
"And Oklahoma city
is mighty pretty."

This is burl Smith,
our assistant purser.

[ Normal voice ]
Pleased to meet you.

You can go right through
those doors and --

if there's anything that I can
do to show you the way --

oh, no, no, no,
that's all right.

[ Gasps ]
Oh, excuse me!

M-My fault.
Are you all right, miss?

Yes, I'm fine --
just fine.

Hello.

Hello.

Welcome aboard,
Mr., um...

Parker,
Dr. Elliot Parker.

I'm sure I put my ticket
in my wallet,

but my wallet
seems to be missing.

Oh.

Why did I do it?

That's all for now, folks.
Thank you very much.

Ah, thank you.

Remember, everybody --
"swag loves you."

Hi.

Hi.

Welcome aboard!

I'm Isaac Washington,
chief barman.

Thank you.
Thank you very much.

This is Vicki, and she's
a real big fan of yours.

Well, hiya, Vicki.

Hi, Mr. Swaggert.

Call me "swag."

This is Maggie cook,
my agent.

How do you do?

Really -- his agent?

Uh, no big deal.

It's better than being
"Maggie agent, his cook."

Yeah.
Well, you're on your own, kid.

Could I have your autograph,
Mr. Swaggert?

I think you're just --
well, just wonderful.

You bet, Vicki.

[ Gasps ]
It's Steve swaggert!

You know what?

Next time I punch the lights out
of one of those bad guys,

I dedicate those lights
to you, okay?

Okay.

[ Sighs ]

He's one of them
Hollywood phonies.

I'd like to see him
in a real fight.

Oh, now, come on, Joe.
Don't start up.

Hey, relax.

I came on this cruise
to have a little fun.

Boo!

Ha ha ha ha ha!
You see him jump?!

[ Mockingly ]
"TV hero of the year."

You're not gonna let him get
away with that, are you?

Well, Vicki, if there's one
thing I've learned

fighting it out on those
mean streets,

it's "sticks and stones
may break my bones,

but words will never harm me."

[ Air horn blows ]

I'm telling you --
Annette means nothing to me.

Hmm, you could've fooled me.

Natalie,
you know I love you.

Mm-hmm.

Annette and I are just
old friends.

Yes, we know how old.

Oh, you look gorgeous.

Just a minute, dear.

But I haven't gotten
to the fun part yet.

Tell me something.

Would you love me if I didn't
have $20 million?

Natalie, I'm hurt.

How can you even ask me
such a thing?

I'd love you if you
only had $10 million.

Marshall, I'm serious.
Look -- something has happened.

I've been trying to tell you,
but I haven't known how.

Well, just say it.

It's best that we keep no
secrets from each other.

It's the business --
I'm wiped out.

Wiped out?

The silver mines haven't been
producing the way they used to,

and you know how crazy the
market has been lately.

Wiped out?

If you want to change your mind
about us --

Natalie,
you know I love you.

You're not gonna get rid of me
that easily.

Oh, Marshall.

Let's celebrate.

Right!

[ Laughs ]

The marriage vows say,
"for richer or for poorer,"

but never "for wiped out."

Reminder --

the 14th of the month --

confirm reservations for next
month's psychiatric convention,

and return case history and
files to Dr. Schwartzenkopf.

[ Recorder clicks off ]

[ Sighs ]

Oh, hi!

I'm Mary sue huggins,
and I was just walking by,

and I saw your door was open.

You remember me?
You bumped in to me before.

I bumped in to you?

Mm-hmm.

Oh, my,
what a cute little cabin --

so cozy and masculine.

Uh, am I disturbing you,
Mr. --

Parker, Dr. Parker.

Doctor? Ooh!

Oh, what pretty luggage!

Oh, and all your clothes
still so -- so neatly packed

and so -- so neatly wrinkled.

Look, miss --

i hear they have a marvelous
buffet on the lido deck.

[ Gasps ] My goodness, doctor,
what's that?

What's what?

There -- on the floor
underneath your luggage.

My wallet.

You better be more careful,
doctor, somebody might steal it.

Well, nice seeing you again.

Bye.

Bye.

[ Sighs ]

Oh, no.

I did it again.

Marshall, darling,
here you are.

Annette.

Remember the carnival in rio?

[ Laughing ] Oh, do I?

Nobody shakes the maracas
the way you can.

And you were
a wonderful audience.

Listen, my sweet, I don't know
what you have in mind,

but I think it only sporting
for you to know

that I'm getting married
in two days.

Two days --
that's wonderful.

Rio only took us
one long, hot night.

You may not believe this,
Annette,

but from now on,
I'm a one-woman man.

You, a one-woman man?

Well...

Maybe a woman and a half.

A woman and three-quarters,
tops.

I think I better go
before I lose count.

Excuse me.

[ Classical music plays ]

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Hi.

Hello.

Oh, hi, Mary sue.

Have y'all seen,
um, Dr. Parker?

I haven't seen him.
Have you seen him, Julie?

Unh-unh.

Haven't seen him.

Okay.

Well, guess I'll just
go get something to eat.

Okay.

Looks like Oklahoma city's
carrying a king-size torch.

Here comes the old heartbreaker
himself.

You go get the good doctor.

I'll meet you
at the Caesar salad.

Check.

Dr. Parker,
you look famished.

Let's get you something
to eat.

All right.

Would you like
some Caesar salad?

Ooh, never.
I hate anchovies.

Gopher.

Julie McCoy...

I have been looking
all over for you.

Me too.
Would you please excuse us?

Excuse me.

[ Sighs ]

Well, I-I thought that you
weren't coming.

Well, I lost track
of the time.

I seem to have misplaced
my watch.

Oh, how terrible.

But I wouldn't worry
about it.

You'll find it sooner
or later.

I hope you're right.

Yeah, it'll probably turn up
where you least expect it.

You know, like, in a pocket
or something.

Um...

Here -- let me get you
some salad.

Oh, it looks absolutely yummy,
doesn't it?

All those anchovies
and croutons

and more anchovies
and croutons.

A toast --
may your seas be calm,

may your skies be clear,

and may all your storms blow
away quickly.

Or in the immortal words
of John Paul Jones,

"down the hatch."

Marshall, darling,
how sweet of you to insist

that I should have dinner
with you tonight.

Remember where we had dinner
last time?

In beautiful Paris.

Didn't we have a wonderful time?
Remember, my darling?

I just adored it.
Let's go back to Paris, okay?

Doesn't ring a bell.

Of course you remember,
darling.

The dinner was wonderful,

but it's the dessert
I'll never forget.

I don't remember!

You don't? You kept on coming
back for some more.

Natalie, darling,
let me congratulate you.

Your future husband
has a fantastic appetite.

[ Laughs ]

Yes, he has a very healthy
appetite.

The only difference is the menu
has improved.

[ Clears throat ]

It was really neat
in that show

where swag was thrown out of
that 3rd-story window,

and he landed on his feet,
and he kung fu'd 14 bad guys!

I hate to break this
to you, Vicki,

but he has a stuntman
who does it for him.

Maggie, Maggie.

You do?

Only in the interest
of saving time, my dear.

Sorry I'm late.

I went back to the room
to get something.

Vicki, I'd like you
to wear this.

Wow, a Steve swaggert badge!
Thanks!

I'll never take it off!

Well, in the shower, maybe.

Wait till I show
captain merrill!

She's wonderful.

Yes, she is.

If only you were that easy
to impress.

Why can't you be like that?

She hardly knows me and look
how impressed she is.

You answered your own question.
She hardly knows you.

Hey, are you still
babysitting this guy?

Oh, no.

Why don't you
come out with me,

and I'll show you what it's like
to be with a real man?

Sorry.

What's the matter?

You one of
those Hollywood broads

who thinks she's too good
to go out with an ordinary guy?

Not at all, Mr. Lujack.

I would love to go out with you,
except for one reason.

Oh, yeah? What's that?

I make it a rule never
to go out with a man

whose neck size and I.Q.
Are the same number.

Come on, Joe.

It's okay.
She's feisty.

I like them feisty.

Come on, Joe.
I'll buy you a beer.

Tell him to put a head on it.
Lord knows you could use one.

Maggie...

Well, you really stood up
to that guy.

One of us had to.

Being a psychiatrist must be
just fascinating.

There's a certain satisfaction
in helping others.

Oh, helping others.

Oh. I think that's so very --
oh, noble.

Well, let's just say it's a
simple dedication to mankind.

Oh, yes, that's it exactly --

helping your fellow man...

Or woman,
as the case may be.

You almost sounded as if
you were including yourself.

[ Laughing ]
Oh, me? Oh, no, not me!

Absolutely not.

But I do have this friend
who has this little problem --

miss huggins, when a person
describes a friend's problems

to a psychiatrist,

we can usually assume that her
friend is merely a fabrication,

that, in reality, it is she
who is making a cry for help.

Help.

[ Lounge music plays ]

Well, Isaac,
I guess we'll be moving on.

Keep the change.

Thank you.

Let's go, guy.
Come on.

Isaac, you know that fellow
that was sitting here before?

You mean Mr. Lujack?

Yes, Mr. Lujack.

Well, he's an old friend
of mine.

I wonder if you could get him
out of his cabin by 10:30.

I'd like to play a little
practical joke on him.

Gee, I'd like to help you,
but I'm on duty till midnight.

Hey, I'll do it.
I love practical jokes.

Would you?
Oh, that'd be great.

If you'll just buy him a drink,
it would be a big favor.

Sure. No problem.

Now, Natalie, you know how it is
with old friends.

Annette means absolutely
nothing to me.

You're the woman
I'm gonna marry.

Mm, I know that,
and you know that,

but does she know that?

Miss Marcus, you're the most
glamorous woman I've ever met.

Thank you, captain dear,
and how true.

[ Laughs ]

Actually, I didn't mention
your beauty

only as a compliment,
but also as a warning.

You see, when it comes
to beautiful women,

my brother is like a kid let
loose in a candy store.

He can't keep his hands off
the bonbons.

But he is on my ship
to get married.

Captain, dear, you don't think
I would look at a man

who's getting married
in two days?

That's taboo.

Darling, do you know
what I've been just thinking?

What?

In less than 36 hours,
we're going to be man and wife.

Isn't that funny?

I was just thinking the same
thing myself.

Oh! [ Laughs ]

Captain, dear,
you dance beautifully.

Thank you.

[ Music stops, applause ]

Don't tell me
you want to cut in.

It's 10:35.

Didn't you promise
to have Mr. Lujack

out of his cabin by now?

Oh. I forgot!

Darryl,
where are you taking me?

I don't want to do this,

but he didn't leave me
any choice.

You mean that guy, lujack?
Oh, forget him. He's nothing.

He can insult me
all he wants to,

but he makes a pass at you --
that tears it.

Really, Darryl, don't.

No, no, no -- don't try
to talk me out of this.

Darryl Brewster here, lujack.
I know you're in there.

You started this.
Come on out here and finish it.

Probably too scared to come
to the door.

Listen to me, lujack.

I want you on the lido deck
at noon tomorrow.

We'll settle this
once and for all, you got it?

That ought to
take care of that.

Anytime you're ready,
sweetheart!

It was courageous of you
to confess, miss huggins.

You see, kleptomania is
a form of rebellion.

Oh, you're
so understanding, doctor.

It stems from
a deep, underlying anger,

feeling that you're not getting
enough out of life.

So gentle and kind.

By taking my wristwatch,

you were simply acting out
an involuntary impulse.

Displaying a need to be
acknowledged --

to be loved.

Yes.

Yes.

Of course, you realize therapy
is hard work.

You'll have to spend a lot of
time with a doctor.

Yes, doctor, lots and lots.

I guess we could start therapy
right here on the ship.

Oh, I think with a problem like
mine, every second counts.

We could meet for breakfast.

How about 8:00?

Good night, Mary sue.

Good night, Elliot.

Oh, um, here's your
fountain pen.

Uh, Darryl?

Huh?

Is something wrong?

Well, no, no,
of course not.

Oh! Ha ha ha ha!
Yeah.

Are you sure?

Uh, no -- uh, yes --
uh, no, nothing's wrong.

I just want you
to know something.

I think that challenging
that gorilla to a fight

is probably the dumbest,
most childish,

most foolish thing
I have ever seen you do.

Uh, you know --
you know, Maggie, I --

and I have never been
so flattered...In all my life.

Heh heh.

Oh, Maggie.

Good night.

Good night.

Marshall, aren't you getting
a wee bit sleepy?

No, I'm not tired.

I think I'll go visit
merrill.

I'll, uh, save you a place.

Marshall!

You forgot your key.

Oh, well.

[ Laughs ]
I shouldn't do that, should I?

Don't be long.

Reminder -- in the case
of Mary sue huggins,

I think there's a bigger problem
here than I first realized.

[ Knock on door ]

Oh, hi.

8:00 -- time for breakfast.

Uh, I meant to call you.
I can't make it.

Why not?

Too much work to do.
I'm very busy.

But I thought we were --
everything seemed to be --

I said I can't make it,
miss huggins.

You'll have to excuse me.

[ Whimpers ]

Mr. Lujack, could I have a
word with you?

Hey, you're a little early
for the fight.

What's the matter?
Couldn't wait to get beat up?

That's what I want to talk
to you about.

You're not chickening out?

I have a business proposition
for you, Mr. Lujack.

Oh, yeah? What?
I'm listening.

I would...Like you to...
Take a dive.

Are you kidding?!
Ha ha ha!

Let you win?

$500?

I get it.

You don't want your public
to see that pretty face of yours

all covered with knuckle prints,
right?

Something like that.
Do we have a deal or not?

We got a deal.

Marshall,
I want to talk to you.

It's about Annette.
She's a troublemaker.

Don't lecture me
about Annette.

I have enough trouble
without her.

With Natalie?

I'm not sure
she can support me

in a manner to which
I'm accustomed.

What do you mean?

She says she's wiped out.

You've got to be kidding.

Well, wiped out or not,

Natalie is the best thing
that's ever happened to you.

She's warm, she's loving,
she's fun.

She's everything you should want
in a woman.

Don't ever let her get away.

Look, merrill --

so she doesn't have money.

Working for a living is not
that terrible.

You can't be serious.

I'd never let my wife work!

Hi, Mary sue.

Hi.

Hi.

Hey, we can't have you
looking so glum.

It's against company policy.

What's wrong?

I don't know.
It --

last night, Elliot --
I mean, Dr. Parker --

seemed so affectionate.

And then, this morning,
he just --

oh, never mind.

It's just that he doesn't
care about me

except in a purely
professional way.

Professional?

There was this little problem
that he was helping me out with,

but I'm all better now.

Oh.

Hmm, you know,
I'm glad you're all better,

but it's too bad you don't
still have your problem.

What do you mean?

I mean, I'm glad your problem
is cured.

But if it weren't, you'd still
need to see the doctor.

Yeah?

Well, seeing the doctor
professionally...

Is better than not
seeing him at all, isn't it?

Hey, I think I'm beginning
to get that old feeling again.

There we go.

I'll have an 8x10,
and a couple of wallet sizes.

Thank you.
Have a good day.

My two favorite ladies
locked in mortal combat.

How's it going?

Swag, are you really gonna fight
that Mr. Lujack?

Vicki, my dear, there comes
a time in every man's life

when he simply must stand up
for the things he believes.

Darryl, if you're doing this
to impress me, forget it.

I like my men alive
and in one piece.

Have no fear, my dear.

All right, Hollywood.

I've been lookin' all over
this boat for you.

Come on, put 'em up.

Mr. Lujack, as much as I abhor
the use of violence,

I'm afraid, sir, that I am going
to have to teach you a lesson.

Any time you're ready.

Well, then you stop talking
and start fighting.

Oh, I've been waiting
for this.

Ow.

Oh, you Hollywood phony.

You haven't got enough money
to make me take a dive.

A dive?

Oh, but, Maggie, I --

swag, come on!
Swag always wins in the end.

Honey, that's only when I hire
the writers.

Here you go --
a bloody Mary for you

and a Shirley temple
for you.

I put two cherries in it
because you look like

you could use
a pick-me-up.

He just lay there
holding his jaw.

He didn't even try
to fight back!

And now the whole ship
has heard about it.

I had to cancel the "TV hero
of the year" award tonight.

Wait till the newspapers
get ahold of that.

Isaac, I've been looking
all over for doc.

I think my jaw is broken.

Oh, I doubt it,
Mr. Brewster.

If your jaw were broken,
you wouldn't be able to talk.

Oh, yeah.
Yeah, that's right.

Sure hurts.

Hi.

Hey, look, I know I did
something wrong.

Yes, you did!

You forgot to bring
your stuntman.

She's only a kid.

That's just it.

At least until now,
I was able to fool the kids.

[ Knock on door ]

Excuse me.

What is this?

Old sticky fingers did it again.
I just couldn't help myself.

You mean you --

yep, something snapped
right after I had breakfast...

Alone.

I went completely berserk.

If I had only realized --

I'm out of control.
I mean, it's hopeless.

You were right not to want to
see me anymore.

I'll never be cured.

Now, don't worry.

When you get home, I'll put you
in touch with a good doctor.

Yeah, but what about now?
I'm trapped on this cruise.

If I'm not careful, I'm liable
to steal the ship!

It's my fault.

I must have somehow triggered
the wrong response.

I'm so ashamed.
Now everybody's gonna find out.

No, they won't.

I'll think of some way
to get all this stuff returned

to its rightful owners.

Yeah, but what's the use?

Sooner or later,
it'll just happen again.

Another purse,
another wallet,

maybe even a nice pair
of earrings.

Not anymore.

Mary sue,
I'm staying with you.

You are?

Every minute --
day and night.

Oh, thank you, doctor!

I just know I'm bound to be
cured.

And I'll really be grateful
to you...

Especially at night.

[ Lounge music plays ]

[ Indistinct conversations ]

It's so sweet of you, Elliot --
taking care of me like this.

You're going to be fine --
just fine.

Yes, I-I-I know.
I'm gonna be fine.

Just fine.

Just abso --

all right.
You were regressing.

I had to do something
to distract you.

Oh, that's all right, doctor.
You just do what's best.

Excuse me, miss huggins.

Did you get all those wallets
and things

back to the
lost-and-found yet?

Oh, I gotcha --

still need them for your
little scavenger hunt game, huh?

Well, that's okay.

Just get them back when you can,
'cause I'm responsible, okay?

Good evening.

Game, huh?

Elliot, please,
you don't understand.

I'm afraid I do.

Miss huggins, honesty
is the most important element

in a relationship between
a doctor and a patient.

Not to mention the relationship
between a man and a woman.

Elliot, please wait!

I can explain!

[ Disco music plays ]

You wait here, my peach.
I'll get us some more drinks.

Don't be too long,
darling.

Be back in a jiff.

[ Sighs ]

Isaac, my man --
two martinis, if you please.

Sure. And listen,
I'll put these on the house.

Kind of a wedding present,
okay?

Why, thank you.

All right.

Marshall, darling,
haven't you forgotten something?

Oh, you're right.
Make them extra dry.

Last night -- the key I gave
you, you didn't use.

Oh, I'm sorry, love,
but I simply couldn't.

My playboy days are over.

It's true.
From now on, I'm a new me.

11:30 tonight in my cabin.

I'll see if the old me
is available.

Hello, doctor. Miss huggins
asked me to give this to you.

That's my tape recorder.

Yes, she'd like you
to play the tape.

Thank you.

Bye-bye.

I'm sorry I had to lie
to you, Elliot,

but it seemed like the only way
I could get to know you.

I'm embarrassed by what
I put you through.

I guess I messed everything up.

[ Sighs ] I'm sorry.

I know I keep saying that,

but I guess it's because i-i
really am sorry.

[ Recorder clicks off ]

[ Disco music plays ]

Hey, I was pretty good out there
this afternoon, wasn't I?

I can take on any of those
TV tough guys.

What are you gonna do next,
punch out captain kangaroo?

The captain should've thrown
that lujack off the ship.

He would've, but the agent lady
asked him not to.

I guess they figured
it would be bad publicity.

I know how you feel,
sweetheart.

I once saw Joe DiMaggio
strike out.

Captain, could I have a second
with you, please?

Of course, Mr. Brewster.

[ Whispering ]

Are you sure you want
to do that?

Yes, that's what I want.

Excuse me, Julie, Vicki.

Hi, Julie.

Hi, Vicki.

[ Music stops, applause ]

[ Drumroll, cymbals crash ]

Ladies and gentlemen?

Ladies and gentlemen,

we have a last-minute change
in our schedule.

I'm very pleased to announce

that our "TV hero of the year"
presentation

will go on as planned.

[ Spectators murmuring ]

And here to accept the award
is that very fine young actor,

TV's Steve swaggert,
private eye,

Mr. Darryl Brewster.

[ Applause ]

Thank you for that applause,
Mr. Lujack.

I-I know you're my greatest fan.

Thank you, captain.

Ladies and gentlemen,
I am -- I am very honored

to receive this award tonight.

I know some of you may be
disappointed in me

because I am not the man that
you see on your TV screens,

but the captain said something
very important.

He introduced me as an actor.

That's what I am.

I'm an actor.

I was lucky enough
to land a wonderful role,

but it seems I was unlucky
enough to hit the deck

when Mr. Lujack teed off on me
a little earlier.

[ Laughter ]

Well, if you're disappointed in
Darryl Brewster the actor,

I hope you're not disappointed
in Steve swaggert the hero,

because I really think
we need heroes like "swag."

They remind us
that there are some virtues

that are still worthwhile.

Justice and truth --

sticking up for the lady
you love.

Congratulations,
Mr. Brewster.

Thank you.

Well, um...

I-I thank you very much

for the "TV hero of the year"
award.

I, um --

well, thank you.

[ Applause ]

I got your message,

but if you'd listened to the
beginning of this tape,

you would have gotten mine.

Reminder -- in the case
of Mary sue huggins,

I think there's a bigger
problem here

than I first realized.

I'm going to have to
work very hard

to keep our relationship
on a professional basis...

...'cause she's the most
fascinating woman I've ever met.

And I'm falling
madly in love with her...

In a totally unprofessional
manner.

Darryl?

Oh, mag.

Uh, look, Maggie,
if you came out here to resign,

I want you to know
I understand.

It'd be a little difficult
to represent an actor

who admits
he's not the character

the public thinks he is.

I came out here to tell you
how proud I was of you in there.

You made a disappointed girl
believe in heroes again.

Well, I'm glad about that.

She really loves you a lot.

Well, Vicki's a good kid.

Who's talking about Vicki?

I'm the disappointed girl
you made believe again.

I'm the one who really
loves you a lot.

Let Vicki start her own
fan club.

Maggie.

"Swag."

[ Both laugh ]

[ Knock on door ]

Room service!

Come in.

Well, I don't remember
ordering a captain.

I just want to wish
you both the best

for your wedding tomorrow.

Oh, merrill,
how sweet of you.

Uh, where's Marshall?

Oh, he's out celebrating his
last night as a bachelor.

Well, that'll never do.

Come on, let's go meet him
and do some serious celebrating.

You know, I think I'm going to
like being in this family.

[ Both laugh ]

Oh, I forgot my bag.
It won't take me a second.

That's funny.
The key won't fit.

Oh, allow me.

Thanks.

Excuse me.

Hmm, well, no wonder
it doesn't fit.

This isn't your key.
This is for cabin 128.

Well, who's cabin is --

don't tell me.
I think I know.

Excuse me, merrill.

I have some business
to take care of.

Darling,
have a little bit more.

All right,
but this is the last.

Oh, Marshall,
don't be so suspicious.

I don't want to buy.
I just want to borrow.

Natalie, you're making
a big mistake.

Now, listen, Annette,
it's not that I'm not tempted,

but after all, I'm just like
any other man.

Well,
maybe a bit more charming.

But there's something
you have to know.

There is only one woman
in my life,

and that woman is Natalie.

Now, I don't care if she is down
to her last krugerrand.

I love her, and I'm gonna
marry her tomorrow.

Darling,
there's still tonight.

Not for us, there isn't.

Natalie!

Uh, I can explain.

Sweetheart,
you already have.

Marshall,
I'm really proud of you,

and it's not the first time.

Come to think of it,
it is the first time.

How are you, pastor?

[ Clears throat ]
Nervous?

Me? Are you kidding?

The ring!
Where's the ring?!

I don't have it.
The best man has it.

Yeah, but I thought you were
the best man.

Didn't I tell you?

Someone flew in especially
to do the job.

Milo!

Marsh, baby!

[ Laughs ]

Let me look at my little
brother!

I can't believe it!

I was on this
meditation retreat

when I, like, picked up
your wedding vibes.

So I hopped off the astral plane
and hopped on a 747.

Looks like you haven't
landed yet.

[ "Here comes the bride" plays ]

Excuse me,
that's my cue.

I now pronounce you
husband and wife.

Oh! Oh! Oh!

[ Applause ]

Congratulations!

Bravo! Bravo!

Congratulations!

Thank you!

Man, that's too much.

Yeah, real groovy.

Outta sight.

You took the words
right out of my mouth.

I'll always watch you.
I'll never miss your show.

I promise.

Tell you what, Vicki --

next time you see me
blow a kiss,

you know
it'll be just for you.

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

Thank you.

Bye, Vicki.

Bye-bye.

Congratulations!

I hear you two
are getting married.

You bet we are.

You must be very happy.

Oh, I sure am.

Agents get 10%.
Wives get 50%.

Ahh.

Ahh.

Hmm.

Maybe we can
work something out.

Hey, Brewster!

Oh, no.

Now, look, if you're gonna take
another poke at me,

let's make it someplace
that doesn't show.

I'm due back on the set
in the morning.

Oh, no, no, listen, uh --

I just wanted to say
that I think what you did

took a lot of guts.

Now, if, uh, you want to take
a belt at me right here,

go ahead,
you owe me one.

No, no, I don't think violence
is the answer.

Why don't we just shake hands
and be friends?

Okay, okay --
I'd be proud to be your friend.

Ahh!

Oh, my, my, imagine that.

I had the last Steve swaggert
badge still in my hand there.

Would you like it?

No, no. No, thanks.

Sorry about that, lujack.

Bye.

Bye.

Maybe violence is the answer.

Just kidding.

Thank you, Julie,
for everything.

Well, I had as much fun
as you did -- almost.

And good luck at your convention
next month, doctor.

Hmm? Oh, yes.

Mary sue and I are looking
forward to it.

We just can't decide whether
I'm going to the convention

as his fiancée
or a case history.

Bye-bye.

So long.

Bye!

Bye.

Bye, Mary sue.

I got my wallet.
You got your watch?

I got my watch.
You got your keys?

I got my keys.
You got your fountain pen?

No, I gave it to you.

You two
look so great together.

Listen -- if you ever find
yourself running short on funds,

you can always count on
your big brother...

Within reason.

That's awfully nice of you,
merrill,

but I just vowed to take care
of this woman,

even though it may mean
getting a job.

A job? Oh, there's no need
for that, darling.

Why not?

Well,
we still have $3 million.

Well, I thought you said
we were wiped out.

Sweetheart, where I come from,
that is wiped out.

Natalie!

Uh-oh, trouble
on the starboard beam.

Oh!

[ Laughs ]

Hey, man, she's a Virgo
with libra rising!

He's a libra with a Virgo
rising -- whatever that means.

Sounds like a match
made in heaven.