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1
00:00:00,834 --> 00:00:03,336
[Theme music]
2
00:00:10,093 --> 00:00:18,184
Theme song: Love,
exciting and new--
3
00:00:18,268 --> 00:00:26,651
come aboard, we're
expecting you.
4
00:00:26,735 --> 00:00:37,620
And love, life's sweetest
reward, let it flow--
5
00:00:37,704 --> 00:00:42,125
it floats back to you.
6
00:00:42,208 --> 00:00:50,091
The love boat soon will
be making another run.
7
00:00:50,175 --> 00:00:58,975
The love boat promises
something for everyone.
8
00:00:59,058 --> 00:01:04,397
Set a course for adventure,
your mind on a new romance.
9
00:01:07,567 --> 00:01:14,032
And love won't hurt anymore.
10
00:01:14,115 --> 00:01:22,499
It's an open smile
on a friendly shore.
11
00:01:22,582 --> 00:01:27,879
It's love.
12
00:01:27,962 --> 00:01:28,505
Welcome aboard.
13
00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:31,925
It's love.
14
00:01:55,990 --> 00:01:59,244
An actual cruise, I
still can't believe it.
15
00:01:59,327 --> 00:02:03,039
Well, it's just another
way of saying I love you.
16
00:02:05,834 --> 00:02:06,793
Peter, you're the best.
17
00:02:06,876 --> 00:02:08,545
Well, that's why I love you--
18
00:02:08,628 --> 00:02:09,546
you've got such
great taste in men.
19
00:02:09,629 --> 00:02:11,256
Lucy!
20
00:02:11,339 --> 00:02:12,549
I got your letter.
21
00:02:12,632 --> 00:02:13,925
Doc.
22
00:02:14,008 --> 00:02:16,010
I'm here as promised.
23
00:02:16,094 --> 00:02:16,970
Hey.
24
00:02:17,053 --> 00:02:19,389
This is Peter Welch,
Dr. Adam bricker.
25
00:02:19,472 --> 00:02:19,889
- Hi.
- Hi, doc.
26
00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:20,557
Nice to meet you.
27
00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:22,308
A pleasure.
28
00:02:22,392 --> 00:02:22,642
Doc's an old buddy.
29
00:02:22,725 --> 00:02:24,060
Hey.
30
00:02:24,143 --> 00:02:26,437
I'm not that old.
31
00:02:26,521 --> 00:02:27,772
Ah, excuse me, i--
32
00:02:27,856 --> 00:02:28,773
I see an old friend too.
33
00:02:28,857 --> 00:02:30,733
Nice to meet you, doc.
34
00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:32,110
A pleasure.
35
00:02:32,193 --> 00:02:33,736
Is-- is that the guy who
wrote me about, the one you're
36
00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:34,571
planning to marry?
37
00:02:34,654 --> 00:02:36,656
Uh-huh.
38
00:02:36,739 --> 00:02:37,699
Oh, isn't it something?
39
00:02:37,782 --> 00:02:40,952
I've got the most
eligible bachelor in town.
40
00:02:41,035 --> 00:02:44,539
Yeah, he'll probably
stay that way too.
41
00:02:44,622 --> 00:02:45,248
All I ask in
return is that you
42
00:02:45,331 --> 00:02:47,625
join me for a tropical drink.
43
00:02:47,709 --> 00:02:52,505
Doc, you've become
suspicious in your old age.
44
00:02:52,589 --> 00:02:54,132
Talk to you later.
45
00:02:54,215 --> 00:02:54,924
Ok.
46
00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:02,473
Man, was I embarrassed,
a complete stranger.
47
00:03:02,557 --> 00:03:03,224
Hey, come on.
48
00:03:03,308 --> 00:03:04,309
Let's get settled in.
49
00:03:04,392 --> 00:03:07,061
This looks like it's going
to be a great cruise.
50
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:14,277
- Hi.
- Hi.
51
00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:15,320
Hello.
52
00:03:15,403 --> 00:03:18,114
Is this where you check
in or whatever you do?
53
00:03:18,197 --> 00:03:20,491
Only if you want to be
on a ship going to Mexico.
54
00:03:20,575 --> 00:03:21,618
Oh, we do.
55
00:03:21,701 --> 00:03:22,660
We really do.
56
00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:25,830
I'm Terry Gibson and
this is Monica James--
57
00:03:25,914 --> 00:03:26,372
I mean my wife.
58
00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:28,458
Monica is my wife.
59
00:03:28,541 --> 00:03:29,292
Yeah, we're married.
60
00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:31,127
Yeah.
61
00:03:31,210 --> 00:03:35,965
That's why I said, like, my
wife, because we're married.
62
00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:37,342
Yes, of course.
63
00:03:37,425 --> 00:03:38,635
That's Mr. and Mrs.--
64
00:03:38,718 --> 00:03:40,136
Gibson.
65
00:03:40,219 --> 00:03:41,971
Of course, yes.
66
00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:43,097
Oh.
67
00:03:43,181 --> 00:03:47,018
You're in the honeymoon
suite on the promenade deck.
68
00:03:47,101 --> 00:03:48,353
Thank you very much, ma'am.
69
00:03:48,436 --> 00:03:49,479
Yeah.
70
00:03:49,562 --> 00:03:50,855
That's right up those stairs
and through that door.
71
00:03:50,939 --> 00:03:51,940
Thank you.
72
00:03:52,023 --> 00:03:54,776
Don't mention it.
73
00:03:54,859 --> 00:03:55,485
Julie?
74
00:03:55,568 --> 00:03:56,653
- Yes.
- Do you get the--
75
00:03:56,736 --> 00:03:57,570
ahem.
76
00:03:57,654 --> 00:03:58,988
I really appreciate your help.
77
00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:00,782
This is for your trouble.
78
00:04:03,618 --> 00:04:05,161
A quarter?
79
00:04:05,244 --> 00:04:08,414
I haven't been tipped a quarter
since I had a paper route.
80
00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:10,750
I have never
been called ma'am.
81
00:04:10,833 --> 00:04:12,585
I get the feeling
that those two shouldn't
82
00:04:12,669 --> 00:04:14,337
be in the honeymoon
suite, that they should be
83
00:04:14,420 --> 00:04:14,921
on a playground roller skating.
84
00:04:15,004 --> 00:04:17,090
(Exasperated) Ma'am.
85
00:04:17,173 --> 00:04:18,466
He called me ma'am.
86
00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:27,350
Eleanor!
87
00:04:27,433 --> 00:04:29,227
Oh, merrill.
88
00:04:29,310 --> 00:04:31,187
Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho.
89
00:04:31,270 --> 00:04:32,355
Welcome back.
90
00:04:32,438 --> 00:04:33,022
Oh.
91
00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:35,692
You're looking terrific.
92
00:04:35,775 --> 00:04:37,235
Where's--
93
00:04:37,318 --> 00:04:37,986
we're divorced.
94
00:04:38,069 --> 00:04:39,529
It just became final.
95
00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:43,199
Oh, I'm sorry.
96
00:04:43,282 --> 00:04:44,701
No, that's not true.
97
00:04:44,784 --> 00:04:46,703
I'm not sorry.
98
00:04:46,786 --> 00:04:48,329
This is my celebration.
99
00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:51,124
Oh, merrill.
100
00:04:51,207 --> 00:04:54,460
I've been dying to see you.
101
00:04:54,544 --> 00:04:58,381
Dinner, my table, tonight.
102
00:04:58,464 --> 00:04:59,799
I'd love it.
103
00:05:03,761 --> 00:05:06,723
Looks like Eleanor's
back for another cruise.
104
00:05:06,806 --> 00:05:09,058
Think she's got a case
of "captain-itis?"
105
00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:10,893
Oh no.
106
00:05:10,977 --> 00:05:14,564
She's just here to see--
107
00:05:14,647 --> 00:05:17,900
an old friend.
108
00:05:17,984 --> 00:05:20,862
[Ship horn]
109
00:05:20,945 --> 00:05:22,905
[Chatter]
110
00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:47,722
Gopher: Goodnight.
111
00:05:47,805 --> 00:05:48,097
Mr. Smith.
112
00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:50,016
Yes, sir?
113
00:05:50,099 --> 00:05:51,142
I need your help.
114
00:05:51,225 --> 00:05:51,851
You name it.
115
00:05:51,934 --> 00:05:53,019
You got it.
- Thank you.
116
00:05:53,102 --> 00:05:53,895
Mm-hmm.
117
00:05:53,978 --> 00:05:55,229
It's a delicate
situation involving
118
00:05:55,313 --> 00:05:57,023
a couple of young lovers.
119
00:05:57,106 --> 00:05:58,483
I just received this telegram.
120
00:05:58,566 --> 00:06:01,069
We've booked a young couple
into the honeymoon suite.
121
00:06:01,152 --> 00:06:04,447
Their names are Terry
Gibson and Monica James.
122
00:06:04,530 --> 00:06:06,324
They are not married.
123
00:06:06,407 --> 00:06:07,116
Not married?
124
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:07,784
Oh gosh.
125
00:06:07,867 --> 00:06:09,035
They're teenagers.
126
00:06:09,118 --> 00:06:11,120
They're not even
close to being 18.
127
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:12,997
Oh.
128
00:06:13,081 --> 00:06:14,582
Well, sir, what can
we do about that?
129
00:06:14,665 --> 00:06:16,375
I mean, if they paid their
fares and they're not
130
00:06:16,459 --> 00:06:18,294
causing a mutiny or anything--
131
00:06:18,377 --> 00:06:20,463
I mean-- well sir, we can't
be the social conscience
132
00:06:20,546 --> 00:06:22,215
of the world.
133
00:06:22,298 --> 00:06:24,217
The girl's father
is in London.
134
00:06:24,300 --> 00:06:27,220
Until he gets back, he wants
us to keep them on board.
135
00:06:27,303 --> 00:06:27,720
Mm-hmm.
136
00:06:27,804 --> 00:06:30,473
Apart.
137
00:06:30,556 --> 00:06:31,891
Oh, "ah-part."
138
00:06:31,974 --> 00:06:32,642
Mm-hmm.
139
00:06:32,725 --> 00:06:33,643
Oh.
140
00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:34,644
Well, how, sir?
141
00:06:34,727 --> 00:06:36,479
I mean, I can't
move in with them.
142
00:06:36,562 --> 00:06:37,438
No.
143
00:06:37,522 --> 00:06:39,982
As you so often have
told me, Mr. Smith,
144
00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:42,193
that's why you
get the big money.
145
00:06:42,276 --> 00:06:44,529
Sir, that is not fair.
146
00:06:44,612 --> 00:06:45,488
It is not right.
147
00:06:45,571 --> 00:06:48,950
I will not be put
in this position.
148
00:06:49,033 --> 00:06:52,286
This telegram is
signed Arnold James.
149
00:06:52,370 --> 00:06:53,996
No skin off my nose.
150
00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:54,664
It is if you look
at your paycheck.
151
00:06:54,747 --> 00:06:56,707
Hmm?
152
00:06:56,791 --> 00:06:58,126
Arnold James is the
treasurer and executive vise
153
00:06:58,209 --> 00:07:00,795
president of the line.
154
00:07:00,878 --> 00:07:03,422
He signs your check.
155
00:07:03,506 --> 00:07:05,550
So what cabin did you say
these delinquents are in, sir?
156
00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:30,032
You know, it-- it seems funny
being alone and not worrying
157
00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:32,535
about your folks
walking in or some cop
158
00:07:32,618 --> 00:07:34,370
shining his light in the car.
159
00:07:34,453 --> 00:07:35,121
Yeah.
160
00:07:39,625 --> 00:07:43,045
Maybe we should go have
dinner in the dining room.
161
00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:46,799
But I've already
ordered everything.
162
00:07:46,883 --> 00:07:49,886
I guess I'm a little nervous.
163
00:07:49,969 --> 00:07:52,930
This is kind of like
our wedding night,
164
00:07:53,014 --> 00:07:54,307
except without the wedding.
165
00:07:54,390 --> 00:07:56,058
Well, you know, our folks
wouldn't let us get married.
166
00:07:56,142 --> 00:07:57,476
They'd probably kill us.
167
00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:07,904
Sidney, if this is for the
honeymoon suite, take it back.
168
00:08:07,987 --> 00:08:09,989
I do not want them
eating in their cabin.
169
00:08:10,072 --> 00:08:10,573
Do you realize
what a candlelight
170
00:08:10,656 --> 00:08:13,075
dinner could lead to?
171
00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:13,993
Gas?
172
00:08:14,076 --> 00:08:14,785
Go.
173
00:08:21,751 --> 00:08:23,419
You're not sorry
you came, are you?
174
00:08:23,502 --> 00:08:24,128
No.
175
00:08:24,212 --> 00:08:25,421
[Knock at door]
176
00:08:25,504 --> 00:08:29,091
That must be our dinner.
177
00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:32,261
Sorry to interrupt--
lifeboat drill.
178
00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:33,262
Monica: Now?
179
00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:33,971
At night?
180
00:08:34,055 --> 00:08:35,306
It's the best time.
181
00:08:35,389 --> 00:08:37,266
Dark outside-- makes it
tougher to find the boats.
182
00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:37,934
Ok.
183
00:08:38,017 --> 00:08:39,143
Put these on.
184
00:08:39,227 --> 00:08:40,436
Don't take them off
till I tell you to.
185
00:08:40,519 --> 00:08:41,354
Don't tie them too tight.
186
00:08:41,437 --> 00:08:42,480
You might be wearing
them all night.
187
00:08:42,563 --> 00:08:43,940
Wouldn't want you to cut
off your circulation.
188
00:08:44,023 --> 00:08:45,066
All night?
189
00:08:45,149 --> 00:08:46,734
What kind of cruise
ship is this?
190
00:08:46,817 --> 00:08:47,610
A very safe one.
191
00:08:47,693 --> 00:08:48,653
Ok.
192
00:08:48,736 --> 00:08:50,112
I want you, stern station,
lifeboat 12-- you,
193
00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:54,200
bow station, lifeboat 1.
194
00:08:54,283 --> 00:08:55,243
Can't we be together?
195
00:08:55,326 --> 00:08:56,535
Sorry.
196
00:08:56,619 --> 00:08:58,371
International rule-- husbands
and wives may not be together,
197
00:08:58,454 --> 00:08:59,247
unless they're left-handed.
198
00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:01,666
You're not left-handed, are you?
199
00:09:01,749 --> 00:09:02,625
Good.
200
00:09:02,708 --> 00:09:03,751
Wouldn't want to make
a stupid mistake.
201
00:09:03,834 --> 00:09:05,795
Do not leave your station
until I contact you,
202
00:09:05,878 --> 00:09:07,171
or until the bosun's mate
gives you the code word--
203
00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:09,548
(screeching) Creek-creek.
204
00:09:09,632 --> 00:09:10,299
Creek-creek?
205
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:11,550
Don't question that.
206
00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:13,552
The ways of the sea might seem
strange to you landlubbers,
207
00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:15,471
but believe me, we
know what we're doing.
208
00:09:15,554 --> 00:09:17,682
- Well, what about dinner?
- No, thanks.
209
00:09:17,765 --> 00:09:17,807
I've had mine.
Let's go.
210
00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:26,816
All right.
211
00:09:26,899 --> 00:09:27,984
Well, what else did Eleanor say?
212
00:09:28,067 --> 00:09:31,404
Oh, nothing really, just
that this was going to be
213
00:09:31,487 --> 00:09:33,114
the most romantic cruise ever.
214
00:09:33,197 --> 00:09:33,531
Mm-hmm.
215
00:09:33,614 --> 00:09:33,990
And then--
216
00:09:34,073 --> 00:09:35,283
and then what?
217
00:09:35,366 --> 00:09:37,451
And then she just
kind of sighed.
218
00:09:37,535 --> 00:09:39,954
Well, what do
you mean kind of?
219
00:09:40,037 --> 00:09:42,873
How kind of did she sigh?
220
00:09:42,957 --> 00:09:48,004
Well, it was sort of
like, um, [deep sigh]
221
00:09:48,087 --> 00:09:53,301
[Clears throat] She
went [deep sigh] about me?
222
00:09:53,384 --> 00:09:54,552
Who else?
223
00:09:54,635 --> 00:09:57,680
Julie, you've just made me
the happiest man in the world.
224
00:09:57,763 --> 00:09:59,974
Well maybe we should
have dinner together.
225
00:10:02,059 --> 00:10:04,770
Here we go.
226
00:10:04,854 --> 00:10:07,023
Compliments of the gentleman.
227
00:10:07,106 --> 00:10:08,107
Oh.
228
00:10:08,190 --> 00:10:10,318
And he definitely
is a gentleman.
229
00:10:10,401 --> 00:10:12,320
Thank you.
230
00:10:12,403 --> 00:10:15,323
Do you always
give such big tips?
231
00:10:15,406 --> 00:10:18,492
Buy low, sell high.
232
00:10:18,576 --> 00:10:20,828
I'm a stock broker,
Russell Evans.
233
00:10:20,911 --> 00:10:23,164
Oh, hi.
234
00:10:23,247 --> 00:10:24,999
I'm Eleanor gardner.
235
00:10:25,082 --> 00:10:28,044
I hope you don't mind the
send over a drink routine.
236
00:10:28,127 --> 00:10:29,628
It's just this
cruise is very short.
237
00:10:29,712 --> 00:10:33,049
And then I see this very
attractive woman, so i--
238
00:10:33,132 --> 00:10:36,260
so you resort to a
very corny routine.
239
00:10:36,344 --> 00:10:39,305
It's also very successful.
240
00:10:39,388 --> 00:10:42,141
You even got the drink right.
241
00:10:42,224 --> 00:10:46,228
Only margaritas have salt
around the rim of the glass.
242
00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:48,189
Oh, a detective.
243
00:10:48,272 --> 00:10:50,274
In my business,
you have to be--
244
00:10:50,358 --> 00:10:52,318
detective, economist,
clairvoyant,
245
00:10:52,401 --> 00:10:55,446
mathematician, psychologist.
246
00:10:55,529 --> 00:10:56,530
Oh, oh, ho, ho--
247
00:10:56,614 --> 00:10:58,324
hold it.
248
00:10:58,407 --> 00:11:01,869
Up to mathematician you
were doing just fine.
249
00:11:01,952 --> 00:11:04,205
I just divorced a psychologist.
250
00:11:04,288 --> 00:11:06,582
Did I say psychologist?
251
00:11:06,665 --> 00:11:07,583
I meant cyclist.
252
00:11:07,666 --> 00:11:08,834
[Laughing]
253
00:11:08,918 --> 00:11:11,962
You've got to keep fit.
254
00:11:12,046 --> 00:11:13,756
The other thing
we stockbrokers do
255
00:11:13,839 --> 00:11:16,926
is wine and dine our clients.
256
00:11:17,009 --> 00:11:18,427
I was kind of hoping
that you'd let me wine
257
00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:18,928
and dine you, Eleanor.
258
00:11:19,011 --> 00:11:20,971
Oh no.
259
00:11:21,055 --> 00:11:24,934
You're just hoping to
sell me 100 shares of IBM.
260
00:11:25,017 --> 00:11:26,811
No way.
261
00:11:26,894 --> 00:11:30,481
I was just hoping to give
you one share of tlc.
262
00:11:30,564 --> 00:11:32,900
Tlc?
263
00:11:32,983 --> 00:11:33,025
Tender loving care.
264
00:11:41,575 --> 00:11:42,326
I'll drink to that.
265
00:11:45,621 --> 00:11:46,497
Then it's dinner tonight?
266
00:11:46,580 --> 00:11:47,790
Mm.
267
00:11:47,873 --> 00:11:50,459
Oh, I'm sorry.
268
00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:53,003
I've been invited to
the captain's table.
269
00:11:53,087 --> 00:11:55,131
Oh.
270
00:11:55,214 --> 00:11:57,299
Right this way, please.
271
00:11:57,383 --> 00:11:58,300
Here we are.
272
00:11:58,384 --> 00:12:01,137
Hope you like your table.
273
00:12:01,220 --> 00:12:03,556
Like it?
274
00:12:03,639 --> 00:12:05,015
I love it.
275
00:12:05,099 --> 00:12:07,017
I'm surrounded by beauty.
276
00:12:07,101 --> 00:12:08,811
You say the nicest things.
277
00:12:08,894 --> 00:12:10,312
But will you pay
this much attention
278
00:12:10,396 --> 00:12:12,731
to me after we're married?
279
00:12:12,815 --> 00:12:15,025
More.
280
00:12:15,109 --> 00:12:16,444
How soon do I find out?
281
00:12:16,527 --> 00:12:17,987
Oh, I don't know.
282
00:12:18,070 --> 00:12:18,696
We're having such a good time.
283
00:12:18,779 --> 00:12:22,408
And there's plenty of time, hmm?
284
00:12:22,491 --> 00:12:23,951
Right.
285
00:12:24,034 --> 00:12:25,202
Of course there is.
286
00:12:31,876 --> 00:12:32,835
Peter, I'd like to set the date.
287
00:12:36,213 --> 00:12:37,339
If we're getting married,
I'd like to know when.
288
00:12:37,423 --> 00:12:41,385
I have a little something
to calm your frazzled nerves.
289
00:12:43,220 --> 00:12:45,181
Oh, Peter.
290
00:12:45,264 --> 00:12:46,390
I feel so foolish.
291
00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:54,398
A diamond.
292
00:12:54,482 --> 00:12:58,903
[Gasps] Peter, it's fabulous.
293
00:12:58,986 --> 00:13:00,779
Oh, put it on me.
294
00:13:00,863 --> 00:13:01,572
Sure.
295
00:13:07,661 --> 00:13:16,962
To my love with all my love.
296
00:13:57,294 --> 00:13:59,922
Oh, merrill.
297
00:14:00,005 --> 00:14:04,301
I've been thinking about you
so much since the divorce.
298
00:14:04,385 --> 00:14:08,180
And I've wanted to talk to you.
299
00:14:08,264 --> 00:14:10,266
You were so kind when
I was going through all
300
00:14:10,349 --> 00:14:11,809
that nonsense with Todd.
301
00:14:11,892 --> 00:14:14,061
Well, it's all over now.
302
00:14:17,022 --> 00:14:18,315
Oh, merrill.
303
00:14:18,399 --> 00:14:26,115
It's so scary being a single
woman again at my age.
304
00:14:26,198 --> 00:14:27,866
28 isn't that old.
305
00:14:27,950 --> 00:14:30,619
[Laughter]
306
00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:31,912
I feel 15.
307
00:14:31,996 --> 00:14:39,086
I feel giddy and excited, and
I don't trust my own feelings.
308
00:14:39,169 --> 00:14:42,715
I-- I haven't felt
this way in so long.
309
00:14:45,593 --> 00:14:49,346
What-- what I
really want is to be
310
00:14:49,430 --> 00:14:56,770
able to say yes-- yes to life,
yes to all the good things, yes
311
00:14:56,854 --> 00:14:59,481
to love.
312
00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:02,901
Then say it.
313
00:15:02,985 --> 00:15:04,528
It's that simple?
314
00:15:04,612 --> 00:15:05,321
Try it.
315
00:15:05,404 --> 00:15:07,990
You'll see.
316
00:15:08,073 --> 00:15:09,283
Oh, merrill.
317
00:15:09,366 --> 00:15:12,870
You see, that's-- that's what
I needed, your encouragement
318
00:15:12,953 --> 00:15:13,787
and your wisdom.
319
00:15:13,871 --> 00:15:17,666
Thank you for
sharing that with me.
320
00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:19,543
I'd like to be sharing the
rest of the evening with you
321
00:15:19,627 --> 00:15:20,502
too.
322
00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:21,462
Oh thank you, merrill.
323
00:15:21,545 --> 00:15:22,004
That would be nice.
324
00:15:22,087 --> 00:15:24,882
But you know what?
325
00:15:27,384 --> 00:15:35,267
I have accepted a date to go
dancing in the acapulco lounge.
326
00:15:35,351 --> 00:15:41,148
And afterwards, thanks to
you, I might even say yes.
327
00:15:47,279 --> 00:15:48,072
Goodnight, merrill.
328
00:16:07,591 --> 00:16:08,634
Sidney!
329
00:16:08,717 --> 00:16:11,845
What do you mean they're
back in the honeymoon suite?
330
00:16:11,929 --> 00:16:13,055
Listen.
331
00:16:13,138 --> 00:16:16,141
You are paid to deliver food,
not be a shipboard cupid.
332
00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:27,403
I know you two old
friends want to dance.
333
00:16:27,486 --> 00:16:32,741
But we're back soon.
334
00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:36,078
That's the slickest handoff
I've seen since the super bowl.
335
00:16:36,161 --> 00:16:38,747
For heaven's sake, he's
only dancing with Julie.
336
00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:39,498
Oh.
337
00:16:39,581 --> 00:16:41,667
Knock it off, doc.
338
00:16:41,750 --> 00:16:42,251
Look.
339
00:16:42,334 --> 00:16:43,293
He gave me this tonight.
340
00:16:43,377 --> 00:16:44,253
Hmm.
341
00:16:44,336 --> 00:16:46,130
Doesn't that prove something?
342
00:16:46,213 --> 00:16:47,589
What?
343
00:16:47,673 --> 00:16:48,424
It's a diamond.
344
00:16:48,507 --> 00:16:50,592
Oh.
345
00:16:50,676 --> 00:16:52,094
I mean, it's not a ring.
346
00:16:52,177 --> 00:16:55,472
But one of these days,
he'll take me by the hand,
347
00:16:55,556 --> 00:16:57,891
and we'll go see a judge,
and that'll be that.
348
00:16:57,975 --> 00:16:59,393
Sure, like when we
get to puerto vallarta?
349
00:16:59,476 --> 00:17:01,478
Huh?
350
00:17:01,562 --> 00:17:05,232
Well, instant weddings,
no blood tests, no waiting.
351
00:17:05,315 --> 00:17:06,442
What a great idea.
352
00:17:06,525 --> 00:17:07,526
He'll do it too.
353
00:17:07,609 --> 00:17:09,903
I'll be a bridesmaid.
354
00:17:09,987 --> 00:17:11,780
You're on.
355
00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:13,782
[Knock at door]
356
00:17:21,248 --> 00:17:23,041
(Swedish accent) Would
this be the [gibberish] ?
357
00:17:27,671 --> 00:17:29,381
Honeymoon suite!
358
00:17:29,465 --> 00:17:31,133
Oh yeah.
359
00:17:31,216 --> 00:17:32,342
Americans-- [gibberish]
360
00:17:32,426 --> 00:17:37,055
Now then, buddy boy, what
color you see in here, huh?
361
00:17:37,139 --> 00:17:38,640
We've got yellow.
362
00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:40,976
We've got-- persimmon is nice.
363
00:17:41,059 --> 00:17:46,732
We got puce and
avocado and tuna fish.
364
00:17:46,815 --> 00:17:47,983
No, that's my lunch.
365
00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:49,401
I don't understand.
366
00:17:49,485 --> 00:17:49,735
Oh, well.
367
00:17:49,818 --> 00:17:51,111
You see.
368
00:17:51,195 --> 00:17:52,154
That's the accent.
369
00:17:52,237 --> 00:17:55,073
Back home in Sweden,
everybody talks like this.
370
00:17:55,157 --> 00:17:56,492
And we don't
understand you people.
371
00:17:56,575 --> 00:17:58,327
[Wheezing]
372
00:17:58,410 --> 00:17:58,744
What are you doing?
373
00:17:58,827 --> 00:18:00,078
Wheezing.
374
00:18:02,998 --> 00:18:05,667
Now, the first and number
one thing we got to do is put
375
00:18:05,751 --> 00:18:09,254
all the [gibberish] on the--
376
00:18:09,338 --> 00:18:10,005
the-- [gibberish]
377
00:18:10,088 --> 00:18:11,006
The what?
378
00:18:11,089 --> 00:18:14,092
The-- the furniture
on the sleepy snooze.
379
00:18:14,176 --> 00:18:15,344
But we're going
to be sleeping here.
380
00:18:15,427 --> 00:18:18,430
Not unless you want this
here chair up your nose, buddy.
381
00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:18,889
[Wheezing]
382
00:18:18,972 --> 00:18:20,224
You're crazy.
383
00:18:20,307 --> 00:18:21,767
No, no, no.
384
00:18:21,850 --> 00:18:24,520
I am oomlaud--
385
00:18:24,603 --> 00:18:26,021
jorgens oomlaud.
386
00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:29,399
Painting, that's
only a hobby of mine.
387
00:18:29,483 --> 00:18:32,152
Maybe you' know me
better as a singer, huh?
388
00:18:32,236 --> 00:18:35,072
(Singing) In the
valley in the winter
389
00:18:35,155 --> 00:18:38,492
time, when the wind
goes on the windowpanes,
390
00:18:38,575 --> 00:18:42,788
all the women in
the vaudeville ride
391
00:18:42,871 --> 00:18:45,165
velocipedes in the vestibules.
392
00:18:45,249 --> 00:18:48,544
[Soft jazz music]
393
00:18:56,552 --> 00:18:57,928
Captain, how
come you're letting
394
00:18:58,011 --> 00:19:00,347
Eleanor dance with that guy?
395
00:19:00,430 --> 00:19:04,226
Remember that song, "whatever
Lola wants, Lola gets?"
396
00:19:04,309 --> 00:19:06,019
Yes, sir.
397
00:19:06,103 --> 00:19:07,229
Same song, different name.
398
00:19:15,696 --> 00:19:18,991
[Whistling]
399
00:19:19,658 --> 00:19:21,702
Ow.
400
00:19:21,785 --> 00:19:24,580
What happened?
401
00:19:24,663 --> 00:19:26,707
I dropped the suitcase.
402
00:19:26,790 --> 00:19:29,585
I guess my horoscope's
out of whack.
403
00:19:29,668 --> 00:19:32,254
I've been dropping
things all month.
404
00:19:32,337 --> 00:19:32,963
Oh.
405
00:19:33,046 --> 00:19:33,839
Oh.
406
00:19:33,922 --> 00:19:38,468
Oh, lady, you are a knockout.
407
00:19:38,552 --> 00:19:41,263
[Laughing]
408
00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:47,936
And now, this way
to the main event.
409
00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:50,022
Oh, wait a minute.
410
00:19:50,105 --> 00:19:52,065
Honey, I just thought
of a wonderful idea.
411
00:19:52,149 --> 00:19:53,233
What?
412
00:19:53,317 --> 00:19:55,027
Tomorrow we dock
in puerto vallarta.
413
00:19:55,110 --> 00:19:55,777
Hey!
414
00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:56,445
Great town.
415
00:19:56,528 --> 00:19:58,614
Yes.
416
00:19:58,697 --> 00:20:00,866
And we can get married there.
417
00:20:00,949 --> 00:20:01,825
Married?
418
00:20:01,909 --> 00:20:03,619
Oh, honey, in some
dull foreign village--
419
00:20:03,702 --> 00:20:06,163
why wait?
420
00:20:06,246 --> 00:20:08,707
Why rush?
421
00:20:08,790 --> 00:20:10,667
I'm beginning to wonder
if you're serious about this
422
00:20:10,751 --> 00:20:12,127
or not.
423
00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:16,465
Ha, ha-- come here.
424
00:20:16,548 --> 00:20:19,051
I'll show you serious.
425
00:20:19,134 --> 00:20:19,635
No.
426
00:20:19,718 --> 00:20:21,303
Listen.
427
00:20:21,386 --> 00:20:22,888
I want to settle this right now.
428
00:20:22,971 --> 00:20:25,766
Are we getting married or not?
429
00:20:25,849 --> 00:20:26,808
Well, but--
430
00:20:33,357 --> 00:20:38,487
Lucy, we can't get married.
431
00:20:42,532 --> 00:20:43,408
It wouldn't to be fair to you.
432
00:20:43,492 --> 00:20:47,412
I-- I have this
tropical disease.
433
00:20:47,496 --> 00:20:50,499
It's called kuru.
434
00:20:50,582 --> 00:20:52,000
What?
435
00:20:52,084 --> 00:21:02,052
Kuru-- capital k, u-r-u. I'm
already losing my appetite.
436
00:21:02,135 --> 00:21:05,222
In about a month, I'll
be getting really weak.
437
00:21:05,305 --> 00:21:06,974
Then it's the hospital.
438
00:21:07,057 --> 00:21:10,894
And then it's the box city.
439
00:21:13,730 --> 00:21:15,148
Peter.
440
00:21:15,232 --> 00:21:18,610
You never said a word.
441
00:21:18,694 --> 00:21:20,570
Why should you
be miserable too?
442
00:21:20,654 --> 00:21:22,823
Oh, Peter.
443
00:21:22,906 --> 00:21:23,865
We have to do something.
444
00:21:23,949 --> 00:21:24,449
No.
445
00:21:24,533 --> 00:21:27,703
It's too late, darling.
446
00:21:27,786 --> 00:21:29,496
I only have six months
left on my warranty.
447
00:21:32,374 --> 00:21:41,925
Then-- then I get a
recall to that big people
448
00:21:42,009 --> 00:21:43,301
plant in the sky.
449
00:21:46,471 --> 00:21:48,181
Then marry me tomorrow.
450
00:21:48,265 --> 00:21:49,850
At least we'll have six months.
451
00:21:49,933 --> 00:21:52,477
I couldn't.
452
00:21:52,561 --> 00:21:54,604
I'm not going to
be a pretty sight.
453
00:21:54,688 --> 00:21:56,356
Oh, Peter.
454
00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:57,899
I feel so helpless.
455
00:21:57,983 --> 00:21:59,443
What can I do?
456
00:22:03,030 --> 00:22:08,744
There is-- there is
one thing you can do.
457
00:22:08,827 --> 00:22:11,246
Anything.
458
00:22:11,329 --> 00:22:15,250
You can come to bed.
459
00:22:15,333 --> 00:22:18,045
It makes me feel better
having you next to me.
460
00:22:18,128 --> 00:22:24,593
I-- I forget what lies ahead.
461
00:22:24,676 --> 00:22:26,720
Oh, Peter.
462
00:22:26,803 --> 00:22:27,471
Oh.
463
00:22:39,691 --> 00:22:43,403
[Snoring]
464
00:22:48,700 --> 00:22:49,534
Mr. Oomlaud.
465
00:22:53,705 --> 00:22:54,081
Mr. Oomlaud!
466
00:22:54,164 --> 00:22:55,499
Yeah, yeah.
467
00:22:55,582 --> 00:22:56,375
I'm painting.
468
00:22:56,458 --> 00:22:57,125
I'm painting.
469
00:22:57,209 --> 00:22:57,959
Don't call the union.
470
00:22:58,043 --> 00:22:59,044
I'm painting.
471
00:22:59,127 --> 00:23:01,379
Are you going
to be much longer?
472
00:23:01,463 --> 00:23:02,422
Longer?
473
00:23:02,506 --> 00:23:05,509
Well, I think I passed
my peak growing period.
474
00:23:05,592 --> 00:23:08,303
I'll never make
six foot, by god.
475
00:23:08,386 --> 00:23:11,640
But truth is stranger than
fiction, young feller.
476
00:23:11,723 --> 00:23:13,683
That's a quote
from my last book,
477
00:23:13,767 --> 00:23:17,479
"the inner oomlaud,
autobiography of jorgens
478
00:23:17,562 --> 00:23:19,064
oomlaud" as old to Pete hamill.
479
00:23:19,147 --> 00:23:23,568
We are getting out of here.
480
00:23:23,652 --> 00:23:25,946
I am too young to
lose my marbles.
481
00:23:26,029 --> 00:23:27,155
Oh no.
482
00:23:27,239 --> 00:23:29,741
You never too young
to lose your marples.
483
00:23:29,825 --> 00:23:30,659
Marbles-- marbles.
484
00:23:30,742 --> 00:23:32,327
Oh.
485
00:23:32,410 --> 00:23:34,996
I thought you say marples.
486
00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:37,249
Marple is a Scandinavian wart.
487
00:23:37,332 --> 00:23:40,627
I lose mine when I
kissed the gruda.
488
00:23:40,710 --> 00:23:41,545
The what?
489
00:23:41,628 --> 00:23:41,878
- Toad.
- Oh.
490
00:23:41,962 --> 00:23:43,505
Yeah.
491
00:23:43,588 --> 00:23:45,757
She was a blind date.
492
00:23:45,841 --> 00:23:46,800
Yech.
493
00:23:46,883 --> 00:23:49,052
But that's another story.
494
00:23:49,136 --> 00:23:49,803
I tell it to you.
495
00:23:49,886 --> 00:23:52,305
You got maybe two, three hours?
496
00:23:52,389 --> 00:23:53,765
She was so ugly
this one, she has
497
00:23:53,849 --> 00:23:57,853
to sneak up on a glass of
water to get a drink, by god.
498
00:23:57,936 --> 00:24:00,605
[Laughing]
499
00:24:10,907 --> 00:24:12,701
No wedding?
500
00:24:12,784 --> 00:24:15,120
And I was so looking forward
to being a bridesmaid.
501
00:24:15,203 --> 00:24:17,706
I had my gown all picked
out and everything.
502
00:24:17,789 --> 00:24:20,375
It's no laughing matter, doc.
503
00:24:20,458 --> 00:24:23,461
We're not getting
married because--
504
00:24:23,545 --> 00:24:27,132
because Peter only has
six months to live.
505
00:24:27,215 --> 00:24:28,717
What?
506
00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:32,721
He's got some rare
tropical disease called kuru.
507
00:24:32,804 --> 00:24:34,472
Kuru?
508
00:24:34,556 --> 00:24:36,766
[Laughing]
509
00:24:38,476 --> 00:24:41,938
I didn't know he was
into cannibalism.
510
00:24:42,022 --> 00:24:42,898
Cannibalism?
511
00:24:42,981 --> 00:24:44,900
Well, that's the
only way you can get
512
00:24:44,983 --> 00:24:48,153
kuru, by eating your ancestors.
513
00:24:48,236 --> 00:24:49,946
You mean he lied to me?
514
00:24:50,030 --> 00:24:51,656
Unless he's been
sneaking off to new
515
00:24:51,740 --> 00:24:53,575
Guinea for gourmet weekends.
516
00:24:53,658 --> 00:24:56,578
I'll get him for this, doc,
if it's the last thing I do.
517
00:25:06,338 --> 00:25:08,924
[Interposing voices]
518
00:25:09,007 --> 00:25:09,925
Oh, merrill.
519
00:25:10,008 --> 00:25:12,010
I'm so glad I found you.
520
00:25:12,093 --> 00:25:14,095
I want you to meet my friend.
521
00:25:14,179 --> 00:25:15,931
Russell Evans, this is
captain merrill stubing.
522
00:25:16,014 --> 00:25:18,225
How do you do?
523
00:25:18,308 --> 00:25:21,019
Captain, Eleanor's told me
so much about you, some of it
524
00:25:21,102 --> 00:25:22,771
good.
525
00:25:22,854 --> 00:25:24,272
Quite a ship you've
got here full
526
00:25:24,356 --> 00:25:27,067
of beautiful, exciting women.
527
00:25:27,150 --> 00:25:31,780
This trip is becoming a
very rewarding experience.
528
00:25:31,863 --> 00:25:35,033
Well, if you'll excuse me, we're
going into puerto vallarta.
529
00:25:35,116 --> 00:25:37,035
I want to check on
our reservations.
530
00:25:37,118 --> 00:25:41,831
Can't keep a doll like Eleanor
waiting in line for lunch.
531
00:25:41,915 --> 00:25:42,832
Oh.
532
00:25:42,916 --> 00:25:43,375
Oh.
533
00:25:43,458 --> 00:25:46,211
Isn't he terrific?
534
00:25:46,294 --> 00:25:47,045
Yeah.
535
00:25:47,128 --> 00:25:47,963
Yeah.
536
00:25:48,046 --> 00:25:52,425
[Sighs] He's very smooth.
537
00:25:52,509 --> 00:25:54,970
A little too
smooth, if you ask me.
538
00:25:55,053 --> 00:25:56,930
Ah, you're being protective.
539
00:25:57,013 --> 00:25:58,765
That's nice.
540
00:25:58,848 --> 00:26:01,101
I'm not being protective.
541
00:26:01,184 --> 00:26:01,935
I'm being jealous.
542
00:26:07,065 --> 00:26:07,732
Oh?
543
00:26:11,736 --> 00:26:14,781
I thought you came on
this cruise to see me.
544
00:26:14,864 --> 00:26:15,115
Oh merrill, I did.
545
00:26:15,198 --> 00:26:16,700
I did.
546
00:26:16,783 --> 00:26:18,743
Oh, but-- well--
547
00:26:21,579 --> 00:26:27,794
oh well, not the
way you thought.
548
00:26:27,877 --> 00:26:30,505
Oh, merrill.
549
00:26:30,588 --> 00:26:33,425
Have I lost a friend?
550
00:26:33,508 --> 00:26:36,219
Hmm.
551
00:26:36,303 --> 00:26:40,932
Do you remember what we
once said to each other?
552
00:26:41,016 --> 00:26:43,768
Whatever becomes of us,
we'll be friends first--
553
00:26:43,852 --> 00:26:47,856
(together) Last and always.
554
00:26:47,939 --> 00:26:49,316
Thanks, merrill.
555
00:27:04,664 --> 00:27:11,087
We'll order champagne
and lock the door.
556
00:27:11,171 --> 00:27:12,756
And nothing can
ruin our afternoon.
557
00:27:21,890 --> 00:27:23,975
Oh no.
558
00:27:24,059 --> 00:27:25,727
You know that champagne?
559
00:27:25,810 --> 00:27:30,231
Looks like we're going
to have it in the bar.
560
00:27:30,315 --> 00:27:31,649
With our luck,
they won't serve
561
00:27:31,733 --> 00:27:33,234
us because we're under age.
562
00:27:45,538 --> 00:27:47,707
Darling, I talked to Adam.
563
00:27:47,791 --> 00:27:49,751
You have to let him examine you.
564
00:27:49,834 --> 00:27:50,377
He might be able
to find something
565
00:27:50,460 --> 00:27:54,089
everybody else missed.
566
00:27:54,172 --> 00:27:57,717
Please-- for my sake?
567
00:27:57,801 --> 00:28:00,303
Oh, Lucy.
568
00:28:00,387 --> 00:28:01,638
I can't have my
hopes raised again.
569
00:28:01,721 --> 00:28:05,683
It's-- it's too painful.
570
00:28:05,767 --> 00:28:09,229
But you deserve the best that
medical science has to offer.
571
00:28:09,312 --> 00:28:13,274
And I'm going to make sure you
get everything you deserve.
572
00:28:13,358 --> 00:28:13,733
Hey, there.
573
00:28:13,817 --> 00:28:15,902
You poor guy.
574
00:28:15,985 --> 00:28:18,405
Well, let's see what we can do.
575
00:28:18,488 --> 00:28:19,906
Doc-- doc, I warn you.
576
00:28:19,989 --> 00:28:24,619
My disease has very, very subtle
symptoms, almost invisible.
577
00:28:24,702 --> 00:28:28,456
Not with the
right instruments.
578
00:28:28,540 --> 00:28:29,999
God, what is that stuff?
579
00:28:30,083 --> 00:28:32,085
It's mostly painless.
580
00:28:32,168 --> 00:28:35,296
Take your shirt off and
hang it in the next room.
581
00:28:35,380 --> 00:28:36,381
Please, Peter.
582
00:28:36,464 --> 00:28:38,091
I don't want you to die.
583
00:28:49,227 --> 00:28:51,354
Fantastic.
584
00:28:51,438 --> 00:28:54,315
Now, I can't ethically use
any of that stuff on him.
585
00:28:54,399 --> 00:28:56,317
Oh, can't you make him
think he really is sick?
586
00:28:56,401 --> 00:28:57,193
I can't do that either.
587
00:28:57,277 --> 00:28:59,821
But I can scare the
beans out of him
588
00:28:59,904 --> 00:29:01,489
and maybe make him come clean.
589
00:29:01,573 --> 00:29:04,659
(Loudly) I was thinking i'd
like to try some traction for
590
00:29:04,742 --> 00:29:07,954
about, oh, two or three
weeks, and then ice
591
00:29:08,037 --> 00:29:10,707
baths-- yes, three
ice baths a day.
592
00:29:10,790 --> 00:29:12,834
Oh, no, no, no, doc.
593
00:29:12,917 --> 00:29:13,543
It's hopeless.
594
00:29:13,626 --> 00:29:15,336
Believe me I have seen the best.
595
00:29:15,420 --> 00:29:16,796
You haven't seen anything yet?
596
00:29:21,259 --> 00:29:21,968
Ok.
597
00:29:28,349 --> 00:29:29,559
Ow!
598
00:29:29,642 --> 00:29:34,689
Oh, excessive sensitivity
in the pectoral region.
599
00:29:34,772 --> 00:29:35,440
Hmm.
600
00:29:40,487 --> 00:29:43,615
[Laughing] Doc, honest,
you're wasting your time.
601
00:29:43,698 --> 00:29:45,450
Just hold-- hold it, Peter.
602
00:29:55,793 --> 00:29:56,753
What is it?
603
00:30:00,632 --> 00:30:01,508
Muscle spasms.
604
00:30:03,968 --> 00:30:09,724
Peter, I want you to lift
this book with your arm
605
00:30:09,807 --> 00:30:11,559
straight out.
606
00:30:11,643 --> 00:30:12,393
Do that.
607
00:30:12,477 --> 00:30:13,186
Ok.
608
00:30:17,815 --> 00:30:21,361
How long have you
had this weakness?
609
00:30:21,444 --> 00:30:22,695
Oh, I don't know,
about a month or so.
610
00:30:22,779 --> 00:30:24,948
I keep dropping
things all the time.
611
00:30:25,031 --> 00:30:28,368
Oh, I probably just pulled
a muscle or something.
612
00:30:28,451 --> 00:30:31,246
Is it getting worse?
613
00:30:31,329 --> 00:30:33,998
Well, maybe.
614
00:30:34,082 --> 00:30:36,918
Yeah, I guess it is.
615
00:30:37,001 --> 00:30:41,214
Lucy, would you mind leaving
us for just a little while?
616
00:30:41,297 --> 00:30:42,382
Sure, doc.
617
00:30:54,852 --> 00:30:58,022
Wasn't that a lot more fun
than lunch in puerto vallarta?
618
00:30:58,106 --> 00:30:58,940
[Laughing]
619
00:31:02,777 --> 00:31:03,736
(Whispers) Oh yeah.
620
00:31:07,156 --> 00:31:08,199
Maybe we should
skip dinner too.
621
00:31:08,283 --> 00:31:08,992
Mm-hmm?
622
00:31:13,288 --> 00:31:16,791
Oh, do you know,
I never thought
623
00:31:16,874 --> 00:31:21,462
I could ever feel this way
about a man again, ever?
624
00:31:21,546 --> 00:31:22,672
Hey.
Uh-uh.
625
00:31:22,755 --> 00:31:23,381
Uh-uh.
626
00:31:23,464 --> 00:31:24,632
Come on, now.
627
00:31:24,716 --> 00:31:26,467
Let's not ruin all this
by getting serious.
628
00:31:26,551 --> 00:31:27,510
Oh.
629
00:31:27,594 --> 00:31:31,180
I thought we both were serious.
630
00:31:31,264 --> 00:31:32,348
Look.
631
00:31:32,432 --> 00:31:34,100
We're here for a few days.
632
00:31:34,183 --> 00:31:36,644
Let's enjoy it before
we get back to reality.
633
00:31:36,728 --> 00:31:37,437
Reality?
634
00:31:37,520 --> 00:31:39,606
Oh.
635
00:31:39,689 --> 00:31:44,819
I thought the words we said
to each other were reality.
636
00:31:44,902 --> 00:31:47,989
I thought the way we felt
about each other was reality.
637
00:31:48,072 --> 00:31:50,825
Oh, when we get back
to la, I'm going to--
638
00:31:50,908 --> 00:31:53,453
back in la, I have a
wife and a little boy.
639
00:31:53,536 --> 00:31:55,121
That's my reality.
640
00:32:00,585 --> 00:32:03,546
Well, I can't be
positive, but [sighs]
641
00:32:03,630 --> 00:32:06,966
It could be quite serious.
642
00:32:07,050 --> 00:32:07,675
All right, technically,
it's called
643
00:32:07,759 --> 00:32:12,597
amyotrophic lateral sclerosis.
644
00:32:12,680 --> 00:32:17,435
The common name is
Lou gehrig's disease.
645
00:32:17,518 --> 00:32:19,854
I'm sorry.
646
00:32:19,937 --> 00:32:23,191
[Laughing] Oh, doc.
647
00:32:23,274 --> 00:32:24,025
Look, I saw that movie.
648
00:32:24,108 --> 00:32:24,734
Come on.
649
00:32:24,817 --> 00:32:26,194
Gary Cooper died from that.
650
00:32:48,216 --> 00:32:49,133
You know something?
651
00:32:49,217 --> 00:32:51,886
You really had me going
there for a minute.
652
00:32:51,969 --> 00:32:52,762
I guess I had that
coming, didn't I?
653
00:32:52,845 --> 00:32:55,598
Ok, look, I lied
about being sick.
654
00:32:55,682 --> 00:32:56,891
And I got caught.
655
00:32:56,974 --> 00:32:59,811
It was the only way I could get
Lucy off the marriage track.
656
00:32:59,894 --> 00:33:02,397
Peter, I'm a doctor.
657
00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:05,525
I don't joke about
things like this.
658
00:33:05,608 --> 00:33:05,983
Come on.
659
00:33:06,067 --> 00:33:06,651
Look, it's over.
660
00:33:06,734 --> 00:33:08,486
I've been paid back.
661
00:33:23,126 --> 00:33:23,876
Is there any cure?
662
00:33:37,807 --> 00:33:39,308
Oh god.
663
00:33:39,392 --> 00:33:41,728
[Sighs]
664
00:33:42,854 --> 00:33:45,106
It's ironic as hell, isn't it?
665
00:33:51,028 --> 00:33:52,488
Guess what?
666
00:33:52,572 --> 00:33:53,322
I'm really dying.
667
00:33:58,161 --> 00:33:59,370
Thank you!
668
00:33:59,454 --> 00:34:02,039
I never thought I'd be happy
to know an unethical doctor.
669
00:34:04,375 --> 00:34:05,042
Doc?
670
00:34:10,715 --> 00:34:11,382
Doc?
671
00:34:27,857 --> 00:34:30,401
I'm glad we got our bed back.
672
00:34:30,485 --> 00:34:31,694
How'd you do it?
673
00:34:31,778 --> 00:34:33,070
Easy.
674
00:34:33,154 --> 00:34:34,822
I called the first officer
and said I was the captain
675
00:34:34,906 --> 00:34:37,074
and wanted the bed replaced.
676
00:34:37,158 --> 00:34:37,950
But how did he know
you were the captain?
677
00:34:38,034 --> 00:34:41,245
Now, how did he
know that I wasn't?
678
00:34:41,329 --> 00:34:42,497
Would you like some more?
679
00:34:42,580 --> 00:34:43,414
Mm-hmm.
680
00:34:43,498 --> 00:34:45,833
Well, it's just my luck.
681
00:34:45,917 --> 00:34:48,711
Isaac would only
sell us ginger ale.
682
00:34:48,795 --> 00:34:50,421
Can I tell you a secret?
683
00:34:50,505 --> 00:34:51,923
Mm-hmm.
684
00:34:52,006 --> 00:34:55,843
The only time I ever had
champagne, it made me sick.
685
00:34:55,927 --> 00:34:58,096
No kidding?
686
00:34:58,179 --> 00:34:59,263
Me too.
687
00:34:59,347 --> 00:35:02,225
I hate champagne.
688
00:35:02,308 --> 00:35:02,558
I love you.
689
00:35:02,642 --> 00:35:05,186
Terry.
690
00:35:05,269 --> 00:35:08,856
I love you a lot.
691
00:35:08,940 --> 00:35:10,733
[Knock at door]
692
00:35:10,817 --> 00:35:11,776
Go away!
693
00:35:11,859 --> 00:35:12,693
Gopher: It's the deputy captain.
694
00:35:12,777 --> 00:35:14,862
You'd better go get it.
695
00:35:14,946 --> 00:35:15,655
Oh.
696
00:35:22,328 --> 00:35:24,121
(Scottish accent) Good
evening to you, sir.
697
00:35:24,205 --> 00:35:25,289
Yes?
698
00:35:25,373 --> 00:35:26,457
I wonder if I might have
a wee moment of your time?
699
00:35:26,541 --> 00:35:28,209
Wee?
700
00:35:28,292 --> 00:35:29,210
Wee.
701
00:35:29,293 --> 00:35:30,795
Well, we-- i-- wee is
an old Scottish term
702
00:35:30,878 --> 00:35:33,673
that we all Scottish use.
703
00:35:33,756 --> 00:35:35,132
What do you want?
704
00:35:35,216 --> 00:35:36,425
Ah, nothing much--
705
00:35:36,509 --> 00:35:40,805
a wee cottage in the Dell,
a wee toad stream, and also
706
00:35:40,888 --> 00:35:43,057
a wee Swiss bank account.
707
00:35:43,140 --> 00:35:45,226
My needs are simple.
708
00:35:45,309 --> 00:35:46,060
Look, mister.
709
00:35:46,143 --> 00:35:49,438
Deputy captain mcplenish.
710
00:35:49,522 --> 00:35:52,024
Look, is there something
we can do to help you?
711
00:35:52,108 --> 00:35:56,571
The truth of the matter
is I'm a very lonely man.
712
00:35:56,654 --> 00:35:58,155
And my doctor has told
me if I don't talk
713
00:35:58,239 --> 00:36:01,409
to people about my
problems, there is
714
00:36:01,492 --> 00:36:03,578
no telling what I'll turn into.
715
00:36:03,661 --> 00:36:07,540
(Angrily) Would you please get
out of here and leave us alone?
716
00:36:07,623 --> 00:36:10,084
Terry, there's no
harm in listening.
717
00:36:10,167 --> 00:36:10,793
Oh.
718
00:36:10,877 --> 00:36:12,795
Thank you, Lassie.
719
00:36:12,879 --> 00:36:17,925
Now then, why don't I just
start at the beginning then?
720
00:36:18,009 --> 00:36:21,762
My great, great, great,
great, great, great, great
721
00:36:21,846 --> 00:36:24,682
grandparents were druids.
722
00:36:24,765 --> 00:36:26,642
They lived at stonehenge.
723
00:36:26,726 --> 00:36:28,769
Julie, do me a favor
and ask Mrs. Gardner
724
00:36:28,853 --> 00:36:29,896
to have dinner with me tonight.
725
00:36:29,979 --> 00:36:32,815
She can invite her friend too.
726
00:36:32,899 --> 00:36:34,609
Well, sir, her room
steward mentioned she'd
727
00:36:34,692 --> 00:36:36,444
be dining in her cabin tonight.
728
00:36:36,527 --> 00:36:37,612
Oh.
729
00:36:37,695 --> 00:36:39,280
Well, she's probably
tired from her day
730
00:36:39,363 --> 00:36:39,614
in puerto vallarta.
731
00:36:39,697 --> 00:36:41,115
No.
732
00:36:41,199 --> 00:36:41,616
She and Mr. Evans got back at 2.
733
00:36:41,699 --> 00:36:43,284
Really?
734
00:36:43,367 --> 00:36:45,077
I didn't see them all afternoon.
735
00:36:45,161 --> 00:36:48,289
Uh, they probably
went to the movie.
736
00:36:48,372 --> 00:36:49,123
There was no movie.
737
00:36:49,206 --> 00:36:50,082
Oh.
738
00:36:50,166 --> 00:36:51,292
Well, then maybe they
went to the class
739
00:36:51,375 --> 00:36:53,377
in gingham hat making.
740
00:36:53,461 --> 00:36:55,671
Sir, why don't I go
knock on her cabin door
741
00:36:55,755 --> 00:36:57,632
and see if maybe she's
changed her mind?
742
00:36:57,715 --> 00:36:58,966
No, no.
743
00:36:59,050 --> 00:37:01,677
Somehow I doubt that a
dinner invitation will
744
00:37:01,761 --> 00:37:02,887
change her mind about anything.
745
00:37:10,519 --> 00:37:13,230
[Disco music]
746
00:37:18,527 --> 00:37:20,821
[Applause]
747
00:37:41,926 --> 00:37:43,761
I'm sorry this is
happening to you.
748
00:37:46,305 --> 00:37:50,017
Why shouldn't he love
all the girls he can?
749
00:37:50,101 --> 00:37:52,061
I'd do the same thing.
750
00:37:52,144 --> 00:37:54,438
I really would.
751
00:37:54,522 --> 00:37:57,984
You're something
really special, you know?
752
00:37:58,067 --> 00:37:59,986
Thanks.
753
00:38:00,069 --> 00:38:04,448
But if this is what special
feels like, I'll take ordinary.
754
00:38:07,618 --> 00:38:11,831
Gopher: (Singing) La, la, la,
la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la,
755
00:38:11,914 --> 00:38:13,499
la, la, la, la, la,
la, la, la, la, la,
756
00:38:13,582 --> 00:38:16,043
la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la!
757
00:38:16,127 --> 00:38:18,337
Well, so much for the
history of Scottish dance.
758
00:38:18,421 --> 00:38:19,797
Now back to the story.
759
00:38:19,880 --> 00:38:21,882
Long ago, the poet
robby burns was
760
00:38:21,966 --> 00:38:23,259
known for his use of
iambic pentameter,
761
00:38:23,342 --> 00:38:27,096
which was a rare liquor
made from used haggis
762
00:38:27,179 --> 00:38:28,973
and a dash of Heather.
763
00:38:29,056 --> 00:38:30,850
They drink a lot of it
in tierra del fuego.
764
00:38:30,933 --> 00:38:32,518
Oh, what's that?
765
00:38:32,601 --> 00:38:33,227
Tierra del fuego.
766
00:38:33,310 --> 00:38:34,895
It's an area in South America.
767
00:38:34,979 --> 00:38:37,023
No, not that--
768
00:38:37,106 --> 00:38:37,732
that smell.
769
00:38:37,815 --> 00:38:38,691
[Sniffing]
770
00:38:38,774 --> 00:38:42,236
It smells like smoke
in the passageway.
771
00:38:42,319 --> 00:38:44,405
Smoke in the passageway!
772
00:38:44,488 --> 00:38:45,156
Goodnight.
773
00:38:45,239 --> 00:38:46,073
[Knock at door]
774
00:38:46,157 --> 00:38:47,074
But I'm not finished yet.
775
00:38:47,158 --> 00:38:48,492
Oh yes, you are.
776
00:38:48,576 --> 00:38:49,994
(Scottish accent)
Give us a break.
777
00:38:50,077 --> 00:38:52,246
(Normal accent) Not
only do I lose my job,
778
00:38:52,329 --> 00:38:54,707
I'm out 5 bucks
for a fake beard.
779
00:38:54,790 --> 00:38:56,417
Hey, man.
780
00:38:56,500 --> 00:38:57,710
Feed it three times a day.
781
00:38:57,793 --> 00:38:59,837
It will be your friend for life.
782
00:38:59,920 --> 00:39:02,214
Is it housebroken?
783
00:39:02,298 --> 00:39:05,301
I thought we'd
never get rid of him.
784
00:39:05,384 --> 00:39:06,052
I don't know.
785
00:39:06,135 --> 00:39:07,261
He was kind of fun.
786
00:39:07,344 --> 00:39:10,431
Did you love those
stories he made up?
787
00:39:10,514 --> 00:39:12,516
No.
788
00:39:12,600 --> 00:39:16,604
But I am going to love
being alone with you.
789
00:39:16,687 --> 00:39:20,149
Um, do you want to change first?
790
00:39:20,232 --> 00:39:24,695
Or do you want me
to change first?
791
00:39:24,779 --> 00:39:28,616
Or would you like
some more ginger ale?
792
00:39:28,699 --> 00:39:31,786
Monica, what do you want to do?
793
00:39:36,373 --> 00:39:37,541
I want to be honest.
794
00:39:40,711 --> 00:39:43,881
I'm scared.
795
00:39:43,964 --> 00:39:46,008
I know that we love each other.
796
00:39:46,092 --> 00:39:50,012
[Inaudible] Does
that make sense?
797
00:39:53,015 --> 00:39:56,852
It just seemed so
romantic, going on a cruise.
798
00:39:59,438 --> 00:40:02,817
Going roller skating
is romantic with you.
799
00:40:02,900 --> 00:40:06,987
Going for a walk,
a baseball game.
800
00:40:07,071 --> 00:40:10,825
I really love you.
801
00:40:10,908 --> 00:40:11,617
I love you too.
802
00:40:20,126 --> 00:40:23,712
Now, I wonder if there's
any place on this ship
803
00:40:23,796 --> 00:40:24,255
we can get a cheeseburger.
804
00:40:24,338 --> 00:40:26,298
And French fries.
805
00:40:26,382 --> 00:40:27,508
Yeah, and a milkshake.
806
00:40:27,591 --> 00:40:29,343
And some carrot cake.
807
00:40:29,426 --> 00:40:30,970
And another cheeseburger.
808
00:40:46,569 --> 00:40:48,571
Peter.
809
00:40:48,654 --> 00:40:54,702
The late, great Peter
Welch sitting in the dark.
810
00:40:54,785 --> 00:40:56,036
Are you all right?
811
00:40:56,120 --> 00:40:57,204
Oh, ho, ho, ho--
812
00:40:57,288 --> 00:40:58,831
tops.
813
00:40:58,914 --> 00:41:01,041
I'm in such great shape that
I've been drinking all night,
814
00:41:01,125 --> 00:41:03,210
and I can't even get drunk.
815
00:41:17,474 --> 00:41:19,852
Why are you looking
at me like that?
816
00:41:24,398 --> 00:41:26,734
You want to watch me fall apart?
817
00:41:30,237 --> 00:41:33,157
Ok.
818
00:41:33,240 --> 00:41:40,915
It's empty-- the
dancing, the girls.
819
00:41:40,998 --> 00:41:43,334
Nothing is working.
820
00:41:43,417 --> 00:41:45,586
Do you want me to say it?
Fine.
821
00:41:45,669 --> 00:41:46,503
I've been lousy to you.
822
00:41:46,587 --> 00:41:48,172
I've been a real prize.
823
00:41:51,675 --> 00:41:52,635
You've got every right to go.
824
00:42:00,017 --> 00:42:03,562
It would be good if you did.
825
00:42:03,646 --> 00:42:04,980
Go on, Lucy.
826
00:42:44,687 --> 00:42:45,396
Merrill?
827
00:42:51,026 --> 00:42:51,735
Come in.
828
00:42:57,324 --> 00:43:00,661
I didn't mean to disturb you.
829
00:43:00,744 --> 00:43:02,496
You're not disturbing me.
830
00:43:02,579 --> 00:43:05,499
I mean, Charlie here
really pilots the ship.
831
00:43:08,085 --> 00:43:12,631
Besides, you never
can disturb a friend.
832
00:43:26,729 --> 00:43:26,770
Beautiful, isn't it?
833
00:43:33,277 --> 00:43:35,487
It's not that beautiful.
834
00:43:35,571 --> 00:43:37,031
[Sniffling] Oh, merrill.
835
00:43:37,114 --> 00:43:40,200
I'm such a dope.
836
00:43:40,284 --> 00:43:43,203
I picked another loser.
837
00:43:43,287 --> 00:43:46,957
Don't blame yourself.
838
00:43:47,041 --> 00:43:53,047
Sometimes-- sometimes
the timing isn't right.
839
00:43:53,130 --> 00:43:54,089
You're so good to me.
840
00:43:54,173 --> 00:43:56,216
I hurt you.
841
00:43:56,300 --> 00:43:58,385
And you're good to me.
842
00:43:58,469 --> 00:44:00,220
Why?
843
00:44:00,304 --> 00:44:03,807
I love you.
844
00:44:03,891 --> 00:44:04,641
Oh, merrill.
845
00:44:16,195 --> 00:44:21,658
Is there-- is there a chance
we could start all over?
846
00:44:25,913 --> 00:44:31,919
As I said, sometimes
the timing isn't right.
847
00:44:32,002 --> 00:44:34,588
Then it's too late.
848
00:44:34,672 --> 00:44:40,803
No, too soon.
849
00:44:40,886 --> 00:44:47,017
You see, you're not Mrs.
Eleanor gardner anymore.
850
00:44:47,101 --> 00:44:52,731
You're a new single person.
851
00:44:52,815 --> 00:44:54,775
And what happened
with you and Russell
852
00:44:54,858 --> 00:44:57,778
was just a part of finding
out who that person is.
853
00:45:02,199 --> 00:45:05,119
And that takes time.
854
00:45:05,202 --> 00:45:08,997
I guess so.
855
00:45:09,081 --> 00:45:18,257
Well, however long it takes,
and whoever that person turns
856
00:45:18,340 --> 00:45:22,553
out to be, there will
be this other person
857
00:45:22,636 --> 00:45:27,516
who happens to run
a cruise ship who
858
00:45:27,599 --> 00:45:28,934
thinks she's the living end.
859
00:45:45,701 --> 00:45:47,995
[Ship horn]
860
00:45:56,086 --> 00:45:57,504
Well, good morning.
861
00:45:57,588 --> 00:45:58,213
Good morning.
862
00:45:58,297 --> 00:45:59,339
How's it going, Peter?
863
00:45:59,423 --> 00:46:00,090
Not bad.
864
00:46:00,174 --> 00:46:01,175
Not bad at all.
865
00:46:01,258 --> 00:46:02,050
Good.
866
00:46:02,134 --> 00:46:03,510
Good.
867
00:46:03,594 --> 00:46:06,180
Medically speaking, I'd say
your good spirits significantly
868
00:46:06,263 --> 00:46:07,264
improve the prognosis.
869
00:46:07,347 --> 00:46:08,724
Come again, doc?
870
00:46:08,807 --> 00:46:11,518
Oh, I think he's
telling us that happiness
871
00:46:11,602 --> 00:46:12,519
is the best medicine.
872
00:46:12,603 --> 00:46:13,604
Yeah.
873
00:46:13,687 --> 00:46:15,564
But I can't charge as
much if I say it that way.
874
00:46:19,443 --> 00:46:20,694
Best of luck.
875
00:46:20,777 --> 00:46:22,154
Thank you very much, doc.
876
00:46:22,237 --> 00:46:23,113
Bye, doc.
877
00:46:28,076 --> 00:46:29,203
You there.
878
00:46:29,286 --> 00:46:30,454
Yes, sir?
879
00:46:30,537 --> 00:46:32,080
Assistant purser burl
Smith at your service.
880
00:46:32,164 --> 00:46:33,957
James, Arnold James.
881
00:46:34,041 --> 00:46:35,209
Ah, Mr. James, sir.
882
00:46:35,292 --> 00:46:37,586
Listen, it's not my
fault. I did my darndest.
883
00:46:37,669 --> 00:46:39,880
Oh, I assume you're
referring to the request
884
00:46:39,963 --> 00:46:41,381
I made of captain stubing.
885
00:46:41,465 --> 00:46:43,383
And I assume when someone
says they did their darndest,
886
00:46:43,467 --> 00:46:45,552
they failed their darndest.
887
00:46:45,636 --> 00:46:46,720
Is that true?
888
00:46:46,803 --> 00:46:48,388
Well, I wouldn't
put it like that, sir.
889
00:46:48,472 --> 00:46:48,972
Oh.
890
00:46:49,056 --> 00:46:50,891
How would you put it?
891
00:46:50,974 --> 00:46:52,893
Could I get back
to you on that?
892
00:46:52,976 --> 00:46:53,894
Dad.
893
00:46:53,977 --> 00:46:54,645
Monica.
894
00:46:54,728 --> 00:46:55,395
I am very disappointed in you.
895
00:46:55,479 --> 00:46:57,397
Nothing happened.
896
00:46:57,481 --> 00:46:59,107
And I thought you
were smarter than this.
897
00:46:59,191 --> 00:47:00,275
Nothing happened.
898
00:47:00,359 --> 00:47:02,236
I can't tell you how your
mother's taking all this.
899
00:47:02,319 --> 00:47:03,070
Nothing happened.
900
00:47:03,153 --> 00:47:03,987
What?
901
00:47:04,071 --> 00:47:04,905
Nothing happened.
902
00:47:04,988 --> 00:47:06,114
Stay out of--
903
00:47:06,198 --> 00:47:08,992
no?
904
00:47:09,076 --> 00:47:11,870
Oh, I don't know why your
mother doesn't trust you.
905
00:47:11,954 --> 00:47:15,374
I, for one, certainly have
the greatest beliefs in
906
00:47:15,457 --> 00:47:17,000
your maturity and your wisdom.
907
00:47:17,084 --> 00:47:18,752
Come on, children.
908
00:47:18,835 --> 00:47:21,588
I don't understand why
people don't trust teenagers.
909
00:47:24,716 --> 00:47:26,218
Give my best to
captain mcplenish.
910
00:47:26,301 --> 00:47:27,928
Hmm?
911
00:47:28,011 --> 00:47:29,096
And Mr. Oomlaud.
912
00:47:29,179 --> 00:47:29,888
Who?
913
00:47:35,477 --> 00:47:36,436
Walk you to your car?
914
00:47:36,520 --> 00:47:37,521
No.
915
00:47:37,604 --> 00:47:40,482
I'm this new independent
woman, remember?
916
00:47:40,566 --> 00:47:42,484
Yeah.
917
00:47:42,568 --> 00:47:43,110
Well.
918
00:47:43,193 --> 00:47:45,737
See ya.
919
00:47:45,821 --> 00:47:46,530
Yeah.
920
00:47:53,537 --> 00:47:55,080
Goodbye.
921
00:47:55,163 --> 00:47:59,084
Bye.
922
00:47:59,167 --> 00:48:01,461
Merrill?
923
00:48:01,545 --> 00:48:02,879
Yeah?
924
00:48:02,963 --> 00:48:03,005
Walk me to my car.
925
00:48:17,144 --> 00:48:19,938
[Theme music]
60558
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