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1
00:00:01,084 --> 00:00:02,961
[Theme music - "love boat"]
2
00:00:10,009 --> 00:00:18,351
Theme song: Love,
exciting and new.
3
00:00:18,435 --> 00:00:26,234
Come aboard, we're
expecting you.
4
00:00:26,317 --> 00:00:37,579
And love, life's sweetest
reward, let it flow,
5
00:00:37,662 --> 00:00:42,000
it floats back to you.
6
00:00:42,083 --> 00:00:49,966
The love boat, soon we'll
be making another run.
7
00:00:50,049 --> 00:00:58,850
The love boat promises
something for everyone.
8
00:00:58,933 --> 00:01:03,188
Set a course for adventure,
your mind on a new romance.
9
00:01:07,358 --> 00:01:14,824
And love won't hurt anymore.
10
00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:23,249
It's an open smile
on a friendly shore.
11
00:01:23,333 --> 00:01:23,374
It's love!
12
00:01:26,836 --> 00:01:30,632
Welcome aboard, it's love!
13
00:01:37,597 --> 00:01:39,557
[Music playing]
14
00:01:59,994 --> 00:02:01,287
Ooh! Fan mail.
15
00:02:01,371 --> 00:02:02,413
Where's my stack?
16
00:02:02,497 --> 00:02:05,416
A bill, a bill, a bill,
and a letter from Vicki.
17
00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:06,543
Ah.
18
00:02:06,626 --> 00:02:08,878
Take a look at the
picture she sent.
19
00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:12,090
Oh, gee, she's grown!
20
00:02:12,173 --> 00:02:15,093
Children have a
tendency to do that.
21
00:02:15,176 --> 00:02:16,553
She's almost 12.
22
00:02:16,636 --> 00:02:19,973
And turning into a lovely
young lady, I must say.
23
00:02:20,056 --> 00:02:21,266
What do you expect?
24
00:02:21,349 --> 00:02:23,184
She takes after her--
25
00:02:23,268 --> 00:02:26,187
I mean, her mother
was very beautiful.
26
00:02:26,271 --> 00:02:28,857
And the fact that you and
Vicki have the same eyes
27
00:02:28,940 --> 00:02:30,984
is just a coincidence.
28
00:02:39,284 --> 00:02:44,038
So how does she like
living in Mexico?
29
00:02:44,122 --> 00:02:48,418
Ah, she's adjusting pretty
well, all things considered.
30
00:02:48,501 --> 00:02:51,796
She still feels the loss
of her mother very deeply.
31
00:02:54,632 --> 00:02:57,427
I just thank heavens
that Vicki has her aunt
32
00:02:57,510 --> 00:02:59,220
and uncle to take care of her.
33
00:02:59,304 --> 00:03:00,513
She also has you.
34
00:03:00,597 --> 00:03:02,432
[Laughs] No.
35
00:03:02,515 --> 00:03:03,892
To her, I'm just
captain merrill,
36
00:03:03,975 --> 00:03:06,269
the funny man she met once.
37
00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:11,941
She'll never know anything else.
38
00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:15,820
You don't plan on
ever seeing her again?
39
00:03:15,904 --> 00:03:18,740
I'm afraid to.
40
00:03:18,823 --> 00:03:23,202
The hardest thing I've ever
done was say goodbye to Vicki.
41
00:03:23,286 --> 00:03:27,290
I know if I saw her again,
I'd have to say it again.
42
00:03:27,373 --> 00:03:28,374
I don't know if I could do that.
43
00:03:39,928 --> 00:03:41,304
Well, enjoy your cruise.
44
00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:48,811
Can I help?
45
00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:50,730
I'm Rose kennycott,
and I have a feeling
46
00:03:50,813 --> 00:03:51,981
I've made a terrible mistake.
47
00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:54,484
Well, it can't be too serious.
48
00:03:54,567 --> 00:03:56,235
You are on the right ship.
49
00:03:56,319 --> 00:03:58,947
Yes, but everything
else is wrong.
50
00:03:59,030 --> 00:04:01,783
Look at those people kissing.
51
00:04:01,866 --> 00:04:03,284
They aren't doing it right?
52
00:04:03,368 --> 00:04:04,369
They're doing it in public.
53
00:04:04,452 --> 00:04:08,414
Oh, well, that's what
we call indoor games.
54
00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:10,249
Oh, this younger generation.
55
00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:12,585
Well, we also have plenty of
outdoor games-- shuffleboard,
56
00:04:12,669 --> 00:04:14,087
deck tennis,
ping-pong-- you're going
57
00:04:14,170 --> 00:04:16,506
to have a wonderful cruise!
58
00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:18,007
Well--
59
00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:20,009
oh, maybe we'll even find you
a partner for the indoor games.
60
00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:29,185
Oh, sir.
61
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:29,894
Excuse me.
62
00:04:29,978 --> 00:04:31,688
My name is Barney briscoe.
63
00:04:31,771 --> 00:04:33,272
And I wonder if you can help me.
64
00:04:33,356 --> 00:04:34,190
Yes, Mr. Briscoe.
65
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:36,025
Let's see, you're in cabin--
66
00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:38,653
fiesta 131.
67
00:04:38,736 --> 00:04:40,822
Yes, that's right.
68
00:04:40,905 --> 00:04:43,074
I-- I was wondering.
69
00:04:43,157 --> 00:04:44,534
Oh, about your
dining assignment.
70
00:04:44,617 --> 00:04:45,868
Yes, sir.
Let's see, you're at table--
71
00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:47,870
table 32.
72
00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:49,080
Right.
73
00:04:49,163 --> 00:04:49,914
How does one--
74
00:04:49,998 --> 00:04:51,374
go about playing
jackpot bingo.
75
00:04:51,457 --> 00:04:51,874
Well, you just show up at the--
76
00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:53,501
acapulco lounge.
77
00:04:53,584 --> 00:04:55,420
Right.
78
00:04:55,503 --> 00:04:59,048
You certainly seem to have
all the right answers.
79
00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:00,341
Except one.
80
00:05:00,425 --> 00:05:01,676
Oh?
81
00:05:01,759 --> 00:05:02,719
How do you meet a lady?
82
00:05:05,555 --> 00:05:07,390
Well Mr. Briscoe,
you've certainly
83
00:05:07,473 --> 00:05:08,891
come to the right place.
84
00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:10,393
We don't call this the
love boat because we're
85
00:05:10,476 --> 00:05:10,518
crazy about tennis.
86
00:05:14,689 --> 00:05:16,649
This younger generation.
87
00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:17,442
Ooh.
88
00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:23,239
My lord.
89
00:05:27,201 --> 00:05:29,537
Uh, excuse me,
I'm Harry Stewart.
90
00:05:29,620 --> 00:05:31,247
Aha.
91
00:05:31,330 --> 00:05:33,082
I think I'm on the lower deck.
92
00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:33,833
Correct.
93
00:05:33,916 --> 00:05:35,043
Cabin 359.
94
00:05:35,126 --> 00:05:37,045
And a nice cabin
it is, too, sir.
95
00:05:37,128 --> 00:05:38,296
Oh, well, you
won't find me in it
96
00:05:38,379 --> 00:05:42,759
very often, because I just spent
nine weeks in a locked room.
97
00:05:42,842 --> 00:05:45,762
Boy, my mom just used to
make me stand in a corner.
98
00:05:45,845 --> 00:05:47,930
No, no, no.
99
00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:49,682
This was a jury room.
100
00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:51,100
I was on the Hamilton case.
101
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:51,934
Oh!
102
00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:53,352
Wow.
103
00:05:53,436 --> 00:05:55,271
Where the wife tried to kill
him three different times!
104
00:05:55,354 --> 00:05:56,230
That's the one.
105
00:05:56,314 --> 00:05:58,441
Boy, she sure seemed
guilty to me, man.
106
00:05:58,524 --> 00:06:00,109
Well, of course
she was guilty.
107
00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:03,279
11 men good and true
knew she was guilty.
108
00:06:03,362 --> 00:06:04,614
Well then, how come
the jury was deadlocked?
109
00:06:04,697 --> 00:06:10,787
Because of this stupid, dumb
woman, a woman by the name
110
00:06:10,870 --> 00:06:12,080
of noyce.
111
00:06:12,163 --> 00:06:12,705
She kept saying, she's innocent!
112
00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:14,749
She's innocent!
113
00:06:14,832 --> 00:06:16,918
She was innocent.
114
00:06:17,001 --> 00:06:18,086
Noyce, Ann noyce.
115
00:06:18,169 --> 00:06:18,836
Yes, ma'am.
116
00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:20,963
You!
117
00:06:21,047 --> 00:06:21,964
Get off my ship.
118
00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:23,466
Go!
Go home!
119
00:06:23,549 --> 00:06:24,717
I should leave?
120
00:06:24,801 --> 00:06:27,345
Otherwise there's going to
be another attempted murder!
121
00:06:27,428 --> 00:06:28,971
Well, you have
the perfect weapon--
122
00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:30,515
your head.
123
00:06:30,598 --> 00:06:31,808
Ladies and gentlemen, please.
124
00:06:31,891 --> 00:06:32,475
Hey, the trial is over.
125
00:06:32,558 --> 00:06:34,143
Can't we just call a truce?
126
00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:34,977
Come on now.
127
00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:35,686
No!
128
00:06:35,770 --> 00:06:37,021
Never.
129
00:06:37,105 --> 00:06:38,481
Well, enjoy your cruise.
130
00:06:38,564 --> 00:06:38,981
I intend to.
131
00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:43,986
And so do I.
132
00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:46,239
It's guilty!
133
00:06:46,322 --> 00:06:50,326
She was guilty, guilty as hell!
134
00:06:50,409 --> 00:06:52,453
That was the lower
deck, wasn't it?
135
00:06:52,537 --> 00:06:53,246
Yes.
136
00:06:56,833 --> 00:06:58,543
[Ship horn blasting]
137
00:07:00,795 --> 00:07:02,505
[Music playing]
138
00:07:32,618 --> 00:07:34,704
Vicki (voiceover):
Dear captain merrill,
139
00:07:34,787 --> 00:07:38,583
thank you, thank you, thank
you for my birthday present,
140
00:07:38,666 --> 00:07:39,834
a cruise director's uniform!
141
00:07:39,917 --> 00:07:45,464
It's only the neatest thing
I ever got in my whole life!
142
00:07:45,548 --> 00:07:50,052
Maybe someday I can be a real
cruise director on your ship.
143
00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:54,432
Only I hope I don't have
to wait that long see you.
144
00:07:54,515 --> 00:07:57,852
I just made myself sad.
145
00:07:57,935 --> 00:08:00,188
I miss you a real, real lot.
146
00:08:00,271 --> 00:08:04,442
And I'm always thinking about
the time I came on the ship,
147
00:08:04,525 --> 00:08:06,194
because it was the
best time I ever had.
148
00:08:06,277 --> 00:08:11,282
And I wish-- oh well.
149
00:08:11,365 --> 00:08:11,699
You know what I wish.
150
00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:21,042
I don't want to go.
151
00:08:21,125 --> 00:08:23,336
Why can't I stay here with you?
152
00:08:23,419 --> 00:08:24,086
Vicki.
153
00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:25,588
Why couldn't I?
154
00:08:25,671 --> 00:08:29,759
Now look, you have an aunt and
uncle who love you very much.
155
00:08:29,842 --> 00:08:31,177
You'll be much happier
living with them
156
00:08:31,260 --> 00:08:35,014
than with a grouchy old seaman.
157
00:08:35,097 --> 00:08:37,767
You aren't grouchy.
158
00:08:37,850 --> 00:08:40,853
You're the best.
159
00:08:40,937 --> 00:08:43,022
I love you, captain merrill.
160
00:08:43,105 --> 00:08:43,689
I love you, Vicki.
161
00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:01,457
Jenkins, this is
captain stubing.
162
00:09:01,540 --> 00:09:05,002
I'd like to place a call
to acapulco, please.
163
00:09:05,086 --> 00:09:07,380
An hour?
164
00:09:07,463 --> 00:09:08,172
All right.
165
00:09:20,142 --> 00:09:22,228
Good evening, Mr. Briscoe.
166
00:09:22,311 --> 00:09:23,145
Good evening.
167
00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:24,563
Well, tonight is
English pub night.
168
00:09:24,647 --> 00:09:26,232
Are you coming to dinner?
169
00:09:26,315 --> 00:09:29,735
Now look, when I said that
I wanted to meet a lady,
170
00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:32,572
you know, I meant
someone my age.
171
00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:33,281
Mm-hm.
172
00:09:33,364 --> 00:09:36,575
Now, I'm going to be blunt.
173
00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:39,245
You're not my type.
174
00:09:39,328 --> 00:09:42,290
Oh well, you can't
blame a girl for trying.
175
00:09:42,373 --> 00:09:43,207
Oh, good evening,
Ms. Kennycott.
176
00:09:43,291 --> 00:09:45,543
Don't you look lovely?
177
00:09:45,626 --> 00:09:46,627
Why, thank you.
178
00:09:46,711 --> 00:09:49,213
Ah, Ms. Kennycott,
have you met Mr. Briscoe?
179
00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:50,673
Mr. Briscoe, Ms. Kennycott.
180
00:09:50,756 --> 00:09:51,382
How do you do?
181
00:09:51,465 --> 00:09:52,300
How do you do?
182
00:09:52,383 --> 00:09:54,844
Is anyone joining
you for dinner?
183
00:09:54,927 --> 00:09:56,679
No.
184
00:09:56,762 --> 00:09:58,347
Well, we like our
passengers to have company,
185
00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:01,892
and I won't take
no for an answer.
186
00:10:01,976 --> 00:10:03,644
Well, in that case, i'd
love to have dinner with you.
187
00:10:10,609 --> 00:10:14,530
Young blonde whippersnapper!
188
00:10:14,613 --> 00:10:16,365
Ah, here we go.
189
00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:17,033
Thank you.
190
00:10:17,116 --> 00:10:18,701
Thank you, Isaac.
191
00:10:18,784 --> 00:10:19,744
Not going to dinner?
192
00:10:19,827 --> 00:10:20,453
No, no.
193
00:10:20,536 --> 00:10:22,079
I can't face it.
194
00:10:22,163 --> 00:10:25,416
The fates have dealt me
a dastardly blow, Isaac.
195
00:10:25,499 --> 00:10:28,878
I am sitting at the same
table with that woman.
196
00:10:28,961 --> 00:10:31,881
I'm just hoping that I can
stall long enough whereas she'll
197
00:10:31,964 --> 00:10:33,382
just eat and be gone.
198
00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:34,175
Ah, come on.
199
00:10:34,258 --> 00:10:36,427
She can't be that bad.
200
00:10:36,510 --> 00:10:38,512
She let a murderer go free!
201
00:10:38,596 --> 00:10:39,555
Now, she didn't go free.
202
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:42,683
I mean, she's going
to be retried.
203
00:10:42,767 --> 00:10:43,601
And the husband didn't die.
204
00:10:43,684 --> 00:10:46,645
Whether the husband
was killed or not,
205
00:10:46,729 --> 00:10:49,565
the wife attempted to murder
him at least three times;
206
00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:52,735
first, by putting
poison in his meatloaf;
207
00:10:52,818 --> 00:10:56,238
second, by hitting him
with a heavy candlestick;
208
00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:57,907
and third, by trying
to strangle him!
209
00:10:57,990 --> 00:10:59,158
Now, what do you call that?
210
00:10:59,241 --> 00:11:07,458
Bad b
211
00:11:07,541 --> 00:11:09,460
oh good evening, Sidney.
212
00:11:09,543 --> 00:11:10,586
Are you in town?
213
00:11:10,669 --> 00:11:13,255
Aw!
214
00:11:13,339 --> 00:11:14,590
It's better out here.
215
00:11:14,673 --> 00:11:15,925
Isn't it, though?
216
00:11:16,008 --> 00:11:17,259
[Laughs]
217
00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:18,969
Wouldn't it be more
fun if you were dining
218
00:11:19,053 --> 00:11:19,970
with a handsome stranger?
219
00:11:23,849 --> 00:11:24,934
Well, wouldn't it?
220
00:11:25,017 --> 00:11:28,270
Julie, I have been waiting
for the handsome stranger
221
00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:29,480
for 30 years.
222
00:11:29,563 --> 00:11:32,274
It's a good thing I
didn't hold my breath.
223
00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:36,278
Nobody ever notices me.
224
00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:38,614
I noticed you from the
first moment I saw you.
225
00:11:38,697 --> 00:11:42,952
Doc, we're having kind
of a girl chat here.
226
00:11:43,035 --> 00:11:44,120
I wonder if you couldn't
charm us out of our socks
227
00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:46,122
another time.
228
00:11:46,205 --> 00:11:47,581
Of course!
229
00:11:47,665 --> 00:11:49,792
Later, cute thing.
230
00:11:49,875 --> 00:11:51,961
Oh, thank you.
231
00:11:52,044 --> 00:11:52,420
So anyway.
232
00:11:52,503 --> 00:11:54,338
Who's that?
233
00:11:54,422 --> 00:11:56,090
Our ship's doctor,
Adam bricker.
234
00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:01,637
Oh what's the use.
235
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:02,721
I never know what to say to men.
236
00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:04,557
When the sexual
revolution took place,
237
00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:07,435
I must have been
behind enemy lines.
238
00:12:07,518 --> 00:12:10,479
Then Rose, isn't it time
you came out fighting?
239
00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:12,523
Today's woman doesn't wait
for the phone to ring,
240
00:12:12,606 --> 00:12:15,192
she places the call herself.
241
00:12:15,276 --> 00:12:16,569
Really?
242
00:12:16,652 --> 00:12:17,570
Yes.
243
00:12:17,653 --> 00:12:19,697
She refuses to float
down the stream of life.
244
00:12:19,780 --> 00:12:23,659
She paddles her own
canoe, and you can, too.
245
00:12:23,742 --> 00:12:24,952
I can?
246
00:12:25,035 --> 00:12:26,328
Of course you can.
247
00:12:26,412 --> 00:12:30,499
Would you excuse
me just one moment?
248
00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:33,002
Ah, Mr. Briscoe,
it's now or never.
249
00:12:33,085 --> 00:12:34,420
You know what I mean?
250
00:12:38,257 --> 00:12:39,925
Young vamp.
251
00:12:57,401 --> 00:12:58,527
Excuse me.
252
00:12:58,611 --> 00:12:59,987
Would you mind if I sat here?
253
00:13:00,070 --> 00:13:01,197
Not at all.
254
00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:02,198
I was just leaving.
255
00:13:08,245 --> 00:13:10,164
You've been very good so far.
256
00:13:10,247 --> 00:13:12,750
You haven't mentioned a
word about you-know-what.
257
00:13:12,833 --> 00:13:13,834
I won't if you won't.
258
00:13:13,918 --> 00:13:17,505
Far be it from me to
be responsible for your
259
00:13:17,588 --> 00:13:19,048
bursting a blood vessel.
260
00:13:19,131 --> 00:13:21,425
Far be it from me to cause
your hair to get any grayer.
261
00:13:21,509 --> 00:13:23,636
What do you mean?
262
00:13:23,719 --> 00:13:24,678
Evening, folks.
263
00:13:24,762 --> 00:13:25,888
Oh, good evening.
264
00:13:25,971 --> 00:13:28,516
Do you like eating, or are
you here for the atmosphere?
265
00:13:28,599 --> 00:13:30,226
I think I will have the--
266
00:13:30,309 --> 00:13:31,352
roast beef.
267
00:13:31,435 --> 00:13:33,521
Mr. Stewart and I served
on the same jury recently,
268
00:13:33,604 --> 00:13:35,898
and that's all he ever ordered--
269
00:13:35,981 --> 00:13:37,316
roast beef.
270
00:13:37,399 --> 00:13:40,945
I'll have the roast--
271
00:13:41,028 --> 00:13:41,946
duck.
272
00:13:42,029 --> 00:13:43,405
Don't be silly, Harry.
273
00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:45,658
You don't like duck.
274
00:13:45,741 --> 00:13:48,744
Why would anybody
want to eat duck?
275
00:13:48,827 --> 00:13:52,957
With their little yellow bill,
and their little webbed feet.
276
00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:56,001
Yes, they look so innocent.
277
00:13:56,085 --> 00:13:58,796
Ducks are guilty!
278
00:13:58,879 --> 00:14:00,881
You're starting it again.
279
00:14:00,965 --> 00:14:03,300
I didn't say anything
about the murder trial.
280
00:14:03,384 --> 00:14:04,969
I was talking
about little ducks!
281
00:14:05,052 --> 00:14:09,056
Little ducks who ought
to get a life sentence!
282
00:14:09,139 --> 00:14:12,434
Would madam like a
little innocent ducky, too?
283
00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:13,435
No, thank you.
284
00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:17,690
I think I'll have, uh, meatloaf.
285
00:14:17,773 --> 00:14:18,816
Meatloaf.
286
00:14:18,899 --> 00:14:21,777
Well, would you like to have
something along with it?
287
00:14:21,860 --> 00:14:28,951
Peas, carrots mashed potatoes,
with absolutely not a trace
288
00:14:29,034 --> 00:14:29,618
of strychnine.
289
00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:32,830
Meatloaf, no strychnine.
290
00:14:32,913 --> 00:14:35,791
There was strychnine
in that meatloaf.
291
00:14:35,874 --> 00:14:38,294
That was definitely established
the third day of the trial.
292
00:14:38,377 --> 00:14:40,796
There was evidence that
there was some strychnine,
293
00:14:40,879 --> 00:14:42,881
but absolutely no
evidence the wife
294
00:14:42,965 --> 00:14:44,592
was the one who put the
strychnine into the meatloaf!
295
00:14:44,675 --> 00:14:46,468
Well, if the wife
didn't put the strychnine
296
00:14:46,552 --> 00:14:48,554
into the meatloaf,
how'd it get there?
297
00:14:48,637 --> 00:14:50,973
Maybe she had a butcher
with a sense of humor!
298
00:14:51,056 --> 00:14:52,850
If there was a law
against stupidity,
299
00:14:52,933 --> 00:14:53,017
you would get the chair!
300
00:14:59,148 --> 00:15:03,527
I'd like to speak with
senora strickland, por favor.
301
00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:05,988
Well look, wait a minute.
302
00:15:06,071 --> 00:15:06,989
Will you just slow down?
303
00:15:07,072 --> 00:15:10,701
Every night, I say
her prayers with her.
304
00:15:10,784 --> 00:15:13,829
This morning, is
not Vicki in bed.
305
00:15:13,912 --> 00:15:14,455
Is only note.
306
00:15:14,538 --> 00:15:17,625
Note says, goodbye.
307
00:15:17,708 --> 00:15:21,170
She takes clothes,
dinero, and no come back!
308
00:15:21,253 --> 00:15:25,716
Oh, my vickisita has run away!
309
00:15:25,799 --> 00:15:27,134
Oh my god.
310
00:15:35,851 --> 00:15:37,186
Julie (on P.A.):
Launches will be leaving
311
00:15:37,269 --> 00:15:39,521
for acapulco from the
gangway on the port side
312
00:15:39,605 --> 00:15:41,940
of the aloha deck level.
313
00:15:42,024 --> 00:15:44,818
Those passengers who signed
up for bus tours of the city
314
00:15:44,902 --> 00:15:47,112
should gather on the dock
when they reach shore.
315
00:15:47,196 --> 00:15:49,031
The ship will be
sailing in ten hours.
316
00:15:49,114 --> 00:15:50,866
That's precisely at midnight.
317
00:15:50,949 --> 00:15:53,702
All passengers should be
back on board by 11:30.
318
00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:55,788
Welcome to acapulco.
319
00:15:55,871 --> 00:15:56,789
Thank you.
320
00:15:59,958 --> 00:16:01,001
Did you call the
chief of police
321
00:16:01,085 --> 00:16:02,544
and tell him to expect us?
- Yes, sir.
322
00:16:02,628 --> 00:16:04,129
I'm coming, too.
323
00:16:07,675 --> 00:16:08,550
I want you all to
know how much this--
324
00:16:08,634 --> 00:16:12,971
sir, it's nothing.
325
00:16:13,055 --> 00:16:14,598
It is to me.
326
00:16:14,682 --> 00:16:16,850
Captain, I think
there's a passenger
327
00:16:16,934 --> 00:16:18,644
who needs your assistance.
328
00:16:18,727 --> 00:16:19,103
Gopher, could you
take care of this?
329
00:16:29,530 --> 00:16:30,239
Vicki.
330
00:16:36,412 --> 00:16:38,664
Vicki.
331
00:16:38,747 --> 00:16:40,666
Hi.
332
00:16:40,749 --> 00:16:45,921
Young lady, do you have
any idea of how much trouble
333
00:16:46,004 --> 00:16:48,424
you've caused?
334
00:16:48,507 --> 00:16:52,010
We, we have been
worried sick about you.
335
00:16:52,094 --> 00:16:55,931
A girl your age should have--
336
00:16:56,014 --> 00:17:01,478
some sense of responsibility.
337
00:17:04,314 --> 00:17:04,356
I'm sorry.
338
00:17:27,755 --> 00:17:30,299
Julie!
339
00:17:30,382 --> 00:17:31,633
Well, hi!
340
00:17:31,717 --> 00:17:32,551
I have to talk to you.
341
00:17:32,634 --> 00:17:33,552
It's about a man.
342
00:17:33,635 --> 00:17:34,094
Oh, ok.
343
00:17:34,178 --> 00:17:36,305
Let's go sit down.
344
00:17:36,388 --> 00:17:38,140
Yes?
345
00:17:38,223 --> 00:17:39,975
Now, it wouldn't happen to be
about that handsome stranger I
346
00:17:40,058 --> 00:17:42,019
was talking to you
about, would it?
347
00:17:42,102 --> 00:17:45,314
I had a feeling you two
were going to click.
348
00:17:45,397 --> 00:17:46,190
We haven't clicked.
349
00:17:46,273 --> 00:17:47,608
We clunked.
350
00:17:47,691 --> 00:17:48,984
Huh?
351
00:17:49,067 --> 00:17:52,196
I don't know how to
make the first move.
352
00:17:52,279 --> 00:17:55,908
You just pick up the phone
and ask him for a date.
353
00:17:55,991 --> 00:17:59,203
You mean, talk to
him on the phone?
354
00:17:59,286 --> 00:17:59,953
Yeah.
355
00:18:00,037 --> 00:18:01,497
Maybe I'll write him a note.
356
00:18:01,580 --> 00:18:04,541
Equally good.
357
00:18:04,625 --> 00:18:08,045
Turn him on in 25 words or less.
358
00:18:08,128 --> 00:18:08,796
Julie--
359
00:18:08,879 --> 00:18:10,047
yeah.
360
00:18:10,130 --> 00:18:13,509
Should I let him kiss
me on the first date?
361
00:18:13,592 --> 00:18:16,053
No, you kiss him.
362
00:18:19,973 --> 00:18:21,642
Pucker up, Dr. Bricker.
363
00:18:21,725 --> 00:18:22,893
I've got you in my sites.
364
00:18:25,562 --> 00:18:28,607
Watch out, Mr. Briscoe,
this could be your lucky day.
365
00:18:31,235 --> 00:18:35,989
You see, Isaac, why I
don't go for today's women?
366
00:18:36,073 --> 00:18:38,784
They're brazen, totally brazen.
367
00:18:47,793 --> 00:18:51,797
Hey, hey, come on, gopher,
knock it off the potato chips.
368
00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:53,298
What?
369
00:18:53,382 --> 00:18:54,550
Don't give me
that innocent act.
370
00:18:54,633 --> 00:18:55,717
Now, I had that basket
full of potato chips,
371
00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:57,761
now it's half empty.
372
00:18:57,845 --> 00:18:59,847
And you're accusing
me of eating them, eh?
373
00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:00,556
Mr. Stewart?
374
00:19:00,639 --> 00:19:01,390
Excuse me?
375
00:19:01,473 --> 00:19:02,641
Hm?
376
00:19:02,724 --> 00:19:05,102
Did you see me eat any
of these potato chips?
377
00:19:05,185 --> 00:19:05,811
No.
378
00:19:05,894 --> 00:19:06,645
No, I didn't.
379
00:19:06,728 --> 00:19:07,604
Well how could he?
380
00:19:07,688 --> 00:19:10,983
His back was turned to you.
381
00:19:11,066 --> 00:19:13,151
I didn't see you
eat the potato chips,
382
00:19:13,235 --> 00:19:17,364
but there is salt
around your mouth.
383
00:19:17,447 --> 00:19:18,907
Circumstantial evidence.
384
00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:21,076
That could have come
from the sea spray.
385
00:19:21,159 --> 00:19:26,164
That is exactly the addlepated
logic you used at the trial.
386
00:19:26,248 --> 00:19:28,417
There is an ocean around us.
387
00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:29,418
And you do know
what's in the ocean?
388
00:19:29,501 --> 00:19:31,420
Salt.
389
00:19:31,503 --> 00:19:34,339
And the salt air just
wafted across the deck
390
00:19:34,423 --> 00:19:39,970
and landed in a perfect
pattern around his mouth.
391
00:19:40,053 --> 00:19:41,096
Maybe he had a Margarita.
392
00:19:41,179 --> 00:19:44,099
I knew better than to
discuss this with you.
393
00:19:44,182 --> 00:19:47,769
Of course, because,
as usual, I'm right.
394
00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:50,731
Well, come on, folks.
395
00:19:50,814 --> 00:19:51,940
It's just potato chips.
396
00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:52,941
It's not important.
397
00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:54,359
No, no, no, no.
398
00:19:54,443 --> 00:19:55,903
This is very important.
399
00:19:55,986 --> 00:19:59,114
Did you eat those potato chips?
400
00:19:59,197 --> 00:19:59,948
Go ahead.
401
00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:00,782
Tell them, gopher.
402
00:20:03,577 --> 00:20:05,579
I'm not saying a word until
my lawyer brings the onion dip.
403
00:20:09,291 --> 00:20:09,958
He's innocent.
404
00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:12,419
He is guilty, guilty as hell.
405
00:20:15,172 --> 00:20:15,964
No, no.
406
00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:18,467
She's fine, carlotta,
not a scratch.
407
00:20:18,550 --> 00:20:21,136
Now look, senor and
senora strickland are
408
00:20:21,219 --> 00:20:23,221
flying in tonight, aren't they?
409
00:20:23,305 --> 00:20:26,391
And what time do you
expect them at home?
410
00:20:26,475 --> 00:20:32,481
Well, I'll plan on bringing
Vicki out there around then.
411
00:20:32,564 --> 00:20:33,607
Yes, gracias, carlotta.
412
00:20:36,443 --> 00:20:39,780
I don't wanna go back.
413
00:20:39,863 --> 00:20:43,241
Vicki, it was wrong of
you to run away like this.
414
00:20:43,325 --> 00:20:47,329
Your aunt and uncle
love you very much.
415
00:20:47,412 --> 00:20:51,667
If you have a problem,
you should talk to them.
416
00:20:51,750 --> 00:20:55,337
But you love me,
too, don't you?
417
00:20:55,420 --> 00:20:56,213
Of course I do.
418
00:20:56,296 --> 00:21:00,008
More than aunt
Dolores and uncle Harry?
419
00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:01,009
This isn't a contest, Vicki.
420
00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:03,470
We all love you very much.
421
00:21:05,472 --> 00:21:08,976
Now, this doesn't have something
to do with why you ran away,
422
00:21:09,059 --> 00:21:11,728
does it?
423
00:21:11,812 --> 00:21:14,481
Do you really want to know?
424
00:21:14,564 --> 00:21:14,606
I really want to know.
425
00:21:38,213 --> 00:21:40,841
I found it in a
box of old stuff.
426
00:21:44,011 --> 00:21:45,220
It's mom's diary.
427
00:21:48,473 --> 00:21:52,060
"I told merrill tonight
that I'm marrying Tom.
428
00:21:52,144 --> 00:21:56,398
It was the hardest thing
I've ever had to do.
429
00:21:56,481 --> 00:22:00,736
Merrill doesn't know i'm
going to have his child.
430
00:22:00,819 --> 00:22:03,697
If he ever does
sense the truth, I
431
00:22:03,780 --> 00:22:06,074
hope he can understand that
I'm doing what's best for
432
00:22:06,158 --> 00:22:08,535
both of us and for our baby."
433
00:22:13,457 --> 00:22:18,712
Mommy didn't marry you,
but you're my real father,
434
00:22:18,795 --> 00:22:19,755
aren't you?
435
00:22:25,385 --> 00:22:25,427
Aren't you?
436
00:22:34,644 --> 00:22:35,353
Yes.
437
00:22:40,233 --> 00:22:42,694
Please, let's stay
together always.
438
00:22:42,778 --> 00:22:43,945
We won't ever say goodbye.
439
00:22:54,456 --> 00:22:55,415
[Music playing]
440
00:23:13,225 --> 00:23:16,186
Mr. Briscoe, you're all alone!
441
00:23:16,269 --> 00:23:16,895
Please, don't worry about me.
442
00:23:16,978 --> 00:23:17,813
I'm all right.
443
00:23:17,896 --> 00:23:20,023
I'm fine.
444
00:23:20,107 --> 00:23:22,442
Didn't you get the note?
445
00:23:22,526 --> 00:23:23,151
What note?
446
00:23:23,235 --> 00:23:24,903
It was sort of a love note.
447
00:23:24,986 --> 00:23:26,363
At least, I think
it was a love note.
448
00:23:26,446 --> 00:23:30,659
If I did get it, I would
have ripped it apart.
449
00:23:30,742 --> 00:23:32,494
Mr. Briscoe, I think
the time has come for you
450
00:23:32,577 --> 00:23:34,579
to take the bull by the horns.
451
00:23:34,663 --> 00:23:36,123
Bull and horns--
452
00:23:36,206 --> 00:23:38,333
all I wanted to do
is meet a nice lady.
453
00:23:38,416 --> 00:23:41,419
Now vamoose!
454
00:23:41,503 --> 00:23:42,295
Ah!
455
00:23:42,379 --> 00:23:42,838
Are you all right?
456
00:23:42,921 --> 00:23:44,798
Oh, I'm fine.
457
00:23:44,881 --> 00:23:46,007
I don't think you
understand, Mr. Briscoe.
458
00:23:46,091 --> 00:23:47,008
I don't--
- please!
459
00:23:47,092 --> 00:23:48,468
Please!
- Let me explain.
460
00:23:55,976 --> 00:23:56,768
Isaac?
461
00:23:56,852 --> 00:23:57,894
Mr. Stewart.
462
00:23:57,978 --> 00:23:59,020
Yeah, Isaac, I
want to apologize
463
00:23:59,104 --> 00:24:01,189
for my earlier behavior.
464
00:24:01,273 --> 00:24:02,524
Oh, that's ok.
465
00:24:02,607 --> 00:24:03,859
But it's that woman.
466
00:24:03,942 --> 00:24:07,362
She could drive St. Francis
of assisi to valium.
467
00:24:07,445 --> 00:24:09,072
And I can't help
but argue with her.
468
00:24:09,156 --> 00:24:10,198
She's so dumb.
469
00:24:10,282 --> 00:24:12,784
Well didn't miss noyce
believe any of the evidence?
470
00:24:12,868 --> 00:24:15,036
No!
471
00:24:15,120 --> 00:24:18,874
The husband said that his wife
had five martinis to bolster
472
00:24:18,957 --> 00:24:21,042
her courage, and then
that she tried to brain
473
00:24:21,126 --> 00:24:23,628
him with a candlestick.
474
00:24:23,712 --> 00:24:24,838
Well, what did the wife say?
475
00:24:24,921 --> 00:24:27,507
Well, she said yes,
she had five martinis.
476
00:24:27,591 --> 00:24:29,551
But she said she
was cold sober, and
477
00:24:29,634 --> 00:24:32,179
the dumbbell agrees with her.
478
00:24:32,262 --> 00:24:34,264
I still do.
479
00:24:34,347 --> 00:24:39,019
Ah, if it isn't miss 11-1.
480
00:24:39,102 --> 00:24:40,770
Isaac, will you
please explain to her
481
00:24:40,854 --> 00:24:43,648
that there is no way that
you can have five martinis
482
00:24:43,732 --> 00:24:45,025
in one hour and not get drunk?
483
00:24:45,108 --> 00:24:47,235
The man's right.
484
00:24:47,319 --> 00:24:49,029
Oh, really?
485
00:24:49,112 --> 00:24:51,239
Five martinis please.
486
00:24:51,323 --> 00:24:53,116
Five martinis?
487
00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:56,077
I'm going to prove
a little point.
488
00:24:56,161 --> 00:25:01,124
[Laughs] Isaac, let me
have five martinis, too,
489
00:25:01,208 --> 00:25:03,418
because I don't have the
heart, sober, to watch
490
00:25:03,501 --> 00:25:04,753
what's going to happen to her.
491
00:25:08,673 --> 00:25:09,966
Why didn't you write the note?
492
00:25:10,050 --> 00:25:10,634
I did.
493
00:25:10,717 --> 00:25:12,427
He said he didn't get it.
494
00:25:12,510 --> 00:25:14,304
That's because I ripped it up.
495
00:25:14,387 --> 00:25:15,805
This cruise is almost over.
496
00:25:15,889 --> 00:25:17,432
You've got to stop wasting
time and just go get him.
497
00:25:17,515 --> 00:25:20,268
I guarantee the
man is interested.
498
00:25:20,352 --> 00:25:21,645
Are you sure?
499
00:25:21,728 --> 00:25:24,773
Believe me, you're just
what the doctor ordered.
500
00:25:24,856 --> 00:25:26,191
Hm.
501
00:25:26,274 --> 00:25:27,901
That's all I want to hear.
502
00:25:31,696 --> 00:25:32,864
Host (on P.A.): Good evening.
503
00:25:32,948 --> 00:25:35,283
This ship will remain in
acapulco until 12:00 midnight.
504
00:25:35,367 --> 00:25:37,118
For all those not
dining ashore, there
505
00:25:37,202 --> 00:25:41,831
will be a main seating dinner
in the coral dining room.
506
00:25:41,915 --> 00:25:42,123
Oh!
507
00:25:42,207 --> 00:25:43,750
Oh!
508
00:25:43,833 --> 00:25:46,169
Well, I guess you and I are
the only two people who didn't
509
00:25:46,253 --> 00:25:49,005
go into acapulco tonight.
510
00:25:49,089 --> 00:25:50,840
Did you want to see me?
511
00:25:50,924 --> 00:25:52,592
Yes.
512
00:25:52,676 --> 00:25:54,261
Well, come in, please.
513
00:26:06,189 --> 00:26:08,650
Is there a problem?
514
00:26:08,733 --> 00:26:12,153
Well, I've been having
these strange feelings--
515
00:26:12,237 --> 00:26:14,990
here.
516
00:26:15,073 --> 00:26:17,993
Well, you've come
to the right place.
517
00:26:18,076 --> 00:26:20,245
How long have you
had this feeling?
518
00:26:20,328 --> 00:26:21,371
Not long.
519
00:26:21,454 --> 00:26:23,540
But everybody tells me
nowadays you shouldn't wait.
520
00:26:23,623 --> 00:26:25,000
You should do
something about it.
521
00:26:25,083 --> 00:26:27,294
Good thinking.
522
00:26:27,377 --> 00:26:33,717
Why don't you step inside and,
here, take your clothes off.
523
00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:37,595
You mean right-- right
now, just like that?
524
00:26:37,679 --> 00:26:39,180
No time like the present.
525
00:26:39,264 --> 00:26:40,098
Just call me when you're ready.
526
00:26:40,181 --> 00:26:42,142
We can get started.
527
00:26:42,225 --> 00:26:43,977
Would, wouldn't you
like to talk a little?
528
00:26:44,060 --> 00:26:45,979
Well, in a
situation like this,
529
00:26:46,062 --> 00:26:48,231
it's always a good idea
to take care of the body.
530
00:26:48,315 --> 00:26:49,983
It's all happening so fast.
531
00:26:50,066 --> 00:26:51,693
Just relax.
532
00:26:51,776 --> 00:26:54,863
Maybe you'll be more
comfortable here on the couch.
533
00:26:54,946 --> 00:26:57,490
And I could lock the door to
make sure no one disturbs us.
534
00:26:57,574 --> 00:27:01,453
Oh, doc, you devil!
535
00:27:01,536 --> 00:27:03,830
But!
536
00:27:03,913 --> 00:27:04,873
What are you doing?
537
00:27:04,956 --> 00:27:07,625
I'm kissing you, but
you're not helping much.
538
00:27:07,709 --> 00:27:08,835
Rose, please, I'm a doctor!
539
00:27:08,918 --> 00:27:11,046
I know!
540
00:27:11,129 --> 00:27:13,757
Rose, excuse-- Rose, Rose!
541
00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:14,716
I must insist.
542
00:27:14,799 --> 00:27:15,467
Oh!
543
00:27:15,550 --> 00:27:16,217
Excuse me.
544
00:27:16,301 --> 00:27:17,344
I must insist-- I must insist!
545
00:27:17,427 --> 00:27:22,223
Rose, I thought you came
here for medical treatment.
546
00:27:22,307 --> 00:27:23,350
Oh my god!
547
00:27:23,433 --> 00:27:25,852
Oh, I'm so embarrassed!
548
00:27:25,935 --> 00:27:26,603
Julie said--
549
00:27:26,686 --> 00:27:27,562
Julie!
550
00:27:27,645 --> 00:27:28,646
She said you were--
551
00:27:28,730 --> 00:27:33,443
oh, I wish I could
die right on the spot!
552
00:27:33,526 --> 00:27:34,903
I'm sorry.
553
00:27:34,986 --> 00:27:36,154
What was I doing?
554
00:27:36,237 --> 00:27:39,908
A silly old woman trying to
join a revolution that's already
555
00:27:39,991 --> 00:27:41,409
passed her by.
556
00:27:41,493 --> 00:27:45,038
How could I ever have dreamed
that in one ocean cruise
557
00:27:45,121 --> 00:27:47,707
I could find a man who
changed my whole life?
558
00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:58,968
Rose, we all change the
course of our lives sometimes.
559
00:27:59,052 --> 00:28:02,764
But it's better to take that
first step, and maybe stumble,
560
00:28:02,847 --> 00:28:05,392
than never to take
a step at all.
561
00:28:05,475 --> 00:28:06,351
You're very kind.
562
00:28:06,434 --> 00:28:10,105
No, I'm not just
being kind, believe me.
563
00:28:10,188 --> 00:28:12,357
Rose, someone is going
to respond to all
564
00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:15,443
those feelings you have inside.
565
00:28:15,527 --> 00:28:19,447
And whoever he is,
wherever he is,
566
00:28:19,531 --> 00:28:21,116
he's going to be
a very lucky man.
567
00:28:21,199 --> 00:28:22,492
Thank you.
568
00:28:22,575 --> 00:28:25,453
You made me see
the light tonight.
569
00:28:25,537 --> 00:28:26,538
Who knows?
570
00:28:26,621 --> 00:28:30,708
Maybe some night soon, you
may even see the stars.
571
00:28:33,545 --> 00:28:37,298
And I thought you
were something special.
572
00:28:37,382 --> 00:28:38,591
I beg your pardon?
573
00:28:38,675 --> 00:28:40,593
But you're like all the rest--
574
00:28:40,677 --> 00:28:42,971
just another floozy.
575
00:28:45,557 --> 00:28:46,266
Agh!
576
00:28:55,066 --> 00:28:58,570
Where are your five martinis?
577
00:28:58,653 --> 00:29:01,489
My, slow service.
578
00:29:01,573 --> 00:29:03,158
What are you talking about?
579
00:29:03,241 --> 00:29:05,452
I've already drunk them.
580
00:29:05,535 --> 00:29:10,331
My, what fast service!
581
00:29:10,415 --> 00:29:11,291
All of them?
582
00:29:11,374 --> 00:29:12,208
Count them.
583
00:29:17,213 --> 00:29:19,883
I'll take your word for it.
584
00:29:19,966 --> 00:29:21,885
Can I ask you a question?
585
00:29:21,968 --> 00:29:24,012
What are we doing here?
586
00:29:24,095 --> 00:29:26,848
I'm going to prove to you
that Hamilton's wife was
587
00:29:26,931 --> 00:29:30,685
sober enough after
five martinis to know
588
00:29:30,768 --> 00:29:32,979
whether she tried to clobber
him with a candlestick.
589
00:29:33,062 --> 00:29:34,731
Ah.
590
00:29:37,692 --> 00:29:40,862
I drank five martinis,
and I'm sober as the judge.
591
00:29:40,945 --> 00:29:46,201
Well, I want to ask you a
few questions, your honor.
592
00:29:46,284 --> 00:29:53,541
First of all, that's a
ridiculous looking robe
593
00:29:53,625 --> 00:29:54,334
you're wearing.
594
00:29:57,378 --> 00:30:00,924
I think that proves my
point, that the husband,
595
00:30:01,007 --> 00:30:04,385
on the night in question, got
bombed out of his mind, just
596
00:30:04,469 --> 00:30:05,178
like you.
597
00:30:05,261 --> 00:30:07,555
Objection!
598
00:30:07,639 --> 00:30:12,519
Then he passed out, hitting
his head, raising a bump.
599
00:30:12,602 --> 00:30:16,022
I want that stricken
from the record!
600
00:30:16,105 --> 00:30:18,024
I want the jury to disregard--
601
00:30:18,107 --> 00:30:20,443
[thump]
602
00:30:26,866 --> 00:30:28,826
Ladies and gentlemen of
the jury, I rest my case.
603
00:30:41,172 --> 00:30:43,091
Can I steer the ship
when we leave tonight?
604
00:30:43,174 --> 00:30:43,967
I promise I won't hit anything.
605
00:30:44,050 --> 00:30:47,136
You're hardly big
enough to see out.
606
00:30:47,220 --> 00:30:48,388
I'd be willing to grow.
607
00:31:06,990 --> 00:31:10,368
Vicki, we have to talk.
608
00:31:10,451 --> 00:31:11,578
Are you going to
tell me about sex?
609
00:31:14,205 --> 00:31:17,125
Well, no.
610
00:31:17,208 --> 00:31:18,293
Oh.
611
00:31:18,376 --> 00:31:21,421
Didn't your aunt
delores tell you about--
612
00:31:21,504 --> 00:31:23,256
all that stuff?
613
00:31:23,339 --> 00:31:25,258
Yeah.
614
00:31:25,341 --> 00:31:26,634
But she made it sounds
so dull, I figured she
615
00:31:26,718 --> 00:31:29,887
must have left something out.
616
00:31:29,971 --> 00:31:36,311
Vicki, did you
understand everything
617
00:31:36,394 --> 00:31:39,522
you read in your mommy's diary?
618
00:31:39,606 --> 00:31:41,232
Not everything.
619
00:31:41,316 --> 00:31:43,109
But I get the part where
you're my real father,
620
00:31:43,192 --> 00:31:46,321
and mommy marrying someone else.
621
00:31:46,404 --> 00:31:47,322
Why do you think she did that?
622
00:31:51,242 --> 00:31:54,579
Well, I guess she thought you
wouldn't be happy unless you
623
00:31:54,662 --> 00:31:58,458
could be on your ship anymore.
624
00:31:58,541 --> 00:32:01,002
That was part of it.
625
00:32:01,085 --> 00:32:02,795
The other part is
that she wanted
626
00:32:02,879 --> 00:32:07,467
you to have a
normal family life,
627
00:32:07,550 --> 00:32:13,181
with two parents, other
kids, and dogs, and cats--
628
00:32:13,264 --> 00:32:14,682
and a housekeeper
named carlotta?
629
00:32:20,897 --> 00:32:24,192
Your mother wanted
the best for you.
630
00:32:24,275 --> 00:32:27,695
A so do I.
631
00:32:27,779 --> 00:32:29,947
You're going to send
me back, aren't you?
632
00:32:33,493 --> 00:32:36,704
You don't want me.
633
00:32:36,788 --> 00:32:40,792
I want you more than anything.
634
00:32:40,875 --> 00:32:43,169
I don't have the
right to keep you.
635
00:32:43,252 --> 00:32:44,796
I thought you loved me.
636
00:33:06,317 --> 00:33:07,985
[Music playing]
637
00:33:16,285 --> 00:33:16,327
Wake up!
638
00:33:20,415 --> 00:33:21,499
Wake up!
639
00:33:21,582 --> 00:33:22,250
Ugh.
640
00:33:22,333 --> 00:33:23,251
Aha!
641
00:33:23,334 --> 00:33:23,960
Aha yourself.
642
00:33:24,043 --> 00:33:26,254
What are you doing in my room?
643
00:33:26,337 --> 00:33:29,382
Waiting for an apology.
644
00:33:29,465 --> 00:33:29,924
Well?
645
00:33:30,007 --> 00:33:32,885
My mouth is dead.
646
00:33:32,969 --> 00:33:37,974
Well, make it form the
words "you were right."
647
00:33:38,057 --> 00:33:38,808
Ok!
648
00:33:38,891 --> 00:33:43,688
You were right,
about everything!
649
00:33:43,771 --> 00:33:45,606
Oh, thank you.
650
00:33:45,690 --> 00:33:47,608
Except the trial.
651
00:33:47,692 --> 00:33:48,568
She was guilty!
652
00:33:48,651 --> 00:33:50,194
You're crazy.
653
00:33:50,278 --> 00:33:55,450
Just look, I stayed sober
after five martinis.
654
00:33:55,533 --> 00:33:58,077
Doesn't that mean
anything to you?
655
00:33:58,161 --> 00:34:01,164
How do I know you were sober?
656
00:34:01,247 --> 00:34:02,915
Um-- gopher.
657
00:34:02,999 --> 00:34:05,877
Gopher helped me
bring you down here.
658
00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:07,545
He'll testify to it.
659
00:34:07,628 --> 00:34:10,131
The guy who was
stealing the potato chips?
660
00:34:10,214 --> 00:34:13,217
You want me to accept testimony
from a guy with a record?
661
00:34:24,979 --> 00:34:29,734
Furthermore, you can't
prove that she didn't
662
00:34:29,817 --> 00:34:32,361
try to strangle her husband!
663
00:34:32,445 --> 00:34:33,696
I certainly can.
664
00:34:33,780 --> 00:34:34,655
Ha!
665
00:34:34,739 --> 00:34:36,115
Ha!
666
00:34:36,199 --> 00:34:39,285
Mr. Hamilton said his
wife tried to strangle
667
00:34:39,368 --> 00:34:41,329
him while he was asleep, right?
668
00:34:41,412 --> 00:34:42,330
So?
669
00:34:42,413 --> 00:34:45,625
So, I'm going
to prove that she
670
00:34:45,708 --> 00:34:47,668
couldn't have strangled him.
671
00:34:47,752 --> 00:34:49,420
Pretend you're asleep.
672
00:34:49,504 --> 00:34:53,007
What?
673
00:34:53,090 --> 00:34:55,468
Go lie down.
674
00:34:55,551 --> 00:34:57,094
Or do you just want
to say that I'm right?
675
00:35:00,473 --> 00:35:03,976
Ok.
676
00:35:04,060 --> 00:35:05,895
I'm asleep.
677
00:35:05,978 --> 00:35:06,854
So what?
678
00:35:06,938 --> 00:35:13,194
So, I couldn't possibly
strangle you, see?
679
00:35:13,277 --> 00:35:14,362
You're not even trying.
680
00:35:14,445 --> 00:35:15,196
Yes, I am.
681
00:35:15,279 --> 00:35:16,114
Your neck is too big.
682
00:35:16,197 --> 00:35:18,449
What do you want
me to do, trim it?
683
00:35:18,533 --> 00:35:20,159
I know.
684
00:35:20,243 --> 00:35:21,035
Come on, roll over.
685
00:35:21,118 --> 00:35:21,869
What?
686
00:35:21,953 --> 00:35:23,955
Roll over.
687
00:35:24,038 --> 00:35:26,374
Now, let me see.
688
00:35:26,457 --> 00:35:27,291
What if she tried this?
689
00:35:33,840 --> 00:35:34,340
You know what?
690
00:35:34,423 --> 00:35:35,800
What?
691
00:35:35,883 --> 00:35:39,136
I think you're kind of cute.
692
00:35:39,220 --> 00:35:41,889
If you think I'm kind of
cute, why are you strangling me?
693
00:35:41,973 --> 00:35:42,682
Sorry.
694
00:35:47,061 --> 00:35:49,105
You know something?
695
00:35:49,188 --> 00:35:51,399
What?
696
00:35:51,482 --> 00:35:52,692
I think you're kind of cute.
697
00:36:04,161 --> 00:36:07,582
So I told her I
had to take her back.
698
00:36:07,665 --> 00:36:09,584
And did she understand?
699
00:36:09,667 --> 00:36:12,628
She was very hurt,
and I can't blame her.
700
00:36:12,712 --> 00:36:14,505
You sound like you're
blaming yourself.
701
00:36:14,589 --> 00:36:16,465
No, it has to be this way.
702
00:36:16,549 --> 00:36:18,926
Legally, I'm nothing more
than a friend of the family.
703
00:36:19,010 --> 00:36:22,597
Well, now that
Vicki knows the truth,
704
00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:25,349
maybe you should talk
to her aunt and uncle.
705
00:36:25,433 --> 00:36:26,475
Maybe there's some
way you could--
706
00:36:35,401 --> 00:36:38,362
Merrill, I wish--
707
00:36:38,446 --> 00:36:40,323
so do I, Adam.
708
00:36:40,406 --> 00:37:29,622
So do I.
709
00:37:29,705 --> 00:37:31,749
Vicki!
710
00:37:31,832 --> 00:37:35,670
Merrill, thank you
for all your trouble.
711
00:37:35,753 --> 00:37:38,798
No trouble.
712
00:37:38,881 --> 00:37:43,719
And you, little lady,
you had a busy weekend.
713
00:37:43,803 --> 00:37:45,304
Can I go to my room?
714
00:37:54,146 --> 00:37:56,857
What am I going
to do with her?
715
00:37:56,941 --> 00:37:58,776
Don't be too hard.
716
00:37:58,859 --> 00:38:02,530
We all have the need for a
little adventure now and then.
717
00:38:02,613 --> 00:38:05,199
I'm surprised it
took her this long.
718
00:38:05,282 --> 00:38:09,996
All she ever talks about
is you and the ship.
719
00:38:10,079 --> 00:38:10,871
She's crazy about
the both of you.
720
00:38:10,955 --> 00:38:12,873
The feeling's mutual.
721
00:38:12,957 --> 00:38:16,043
Would you like a drink?
722
00:38:16,127 --> 00:38:16,669
Tea?
723
00:38:16,752 --> 00:38:19,338
Oh, please, thank you.
724
00:38:19,422 --> 00:38:20,214
Dolores, there's something--
725
00:38:20,297 --> 00:38:21,716
merrill, there's something--
726
00:38:21,799 --> 00:38:23,718
[laughs]
727
00:38:23,801 --> 00:38:25,052
I'm sorry.
728
00:38:25,136 --> 00:38:27,096
What were you going to say?
729
00:38:27,179 --> 00:38:28,347
Thank you.
730
00:38:28,431 --> 00:38:32,226
Oh I was just going to say
that, well, there's something
731
00:38:32,309 --> 00:38:34,020
I want to talk to you about.
732
00:38:34,103 --> 00:38:35,688
Well, I was, too.
733
00:38:35,771 --> 00:38:36,480
You first.
734
00:38:39,608 --> 00:38:42,236
No, you go.
735
00:38:42,319 --> 00:38:44,071
Hm.
736
00:38:44,155 --> 00:38:47,867
Well, I, I guess
I'm going to have
737
00:38:47,950 --> 00:38:48,701
to get used to saying this.
738
00:38:51,162 --> 00:38:54,582
Harry and I are
getting a divorce.
739
00:38:54,665 --> 00:38:56,083
Oh, I'm sorry.
740
00:38:56,167 --> 00:38:59,253
Oh, we're still friends.
741
00:38:59,336 --> 00:39:02,923
Maybe this way we
can stay friends.
742
00:39:03,007 --> 00:39:05,593
Our only concern
now is the children.
743
00:39:05,676 --> 00:39:06,218
Of course.
744
00:39:06,302 --> 00:39:09,430
We haven't told them.
745
00:39:09,513 --> 00:39:11,098
I think it would be
easier on them if they
746
00:39:11,182 --> 00:39:13,392
could go away for a while.
747
00:39:13,476 --> 00:39:16,771
I think that's
a wise decision.
748
00:39:16,854 --> 00:39:21,650
But, when it comes to
Vicki, there's only one
749
00:39:21,734 --> 00:39:24,695
place where she'll be happy--
750
00:39:24,779 --> 00:39:25,488
with you.
751
00:39:32,078 --> 00:39:34,288
You want Vicki
to stay with me?
752
00:39:34,371 --> 00:39:37,750
Only for a while,
until I'm settled.
753
00:39:43,047 --> 00:39:44,131
Merrill?
754
00:39:44,215 --> 00:39:47,218
Right now I'm sorry
I stopped drinking.
755
00:39:58,646 --> 00:40:02,441
I'm afraid I couldn't
start something like this
756
00:40:02,525 --> 00:40:02,608
knowing how it's going to end.
757
00:40:07,655 --> 00:40:10,991
I can take Vicki, but
I can't give her back.
758
00:40:11,075 --> 00:40:13,244
I'm sorry, Dolores.
759
00:40:13,327 --> 00:40:16,580
I know you don't understand why
it's affecting me like this.
760
00:40:16,664 --> 00:40:17,832
I do understand.
761
00:40:20,876 --> 00:40:23,045
Georgina was my sister.
762
00:40:23,129 --> 00:40:23,546
We didn't have many secrets.
763
00:40:30,010 --> 00:40:33,848
Why didn't you say something
after all these years?
764
00:40:33,931 --> 00:40:37,351
So that Vicki
would be your choice,
765
00:40:37,434 --> 00:40:40,521
not your responsibility.
766
00:40:40,604 --> 00:40:41,772
You were free to walk away.
767
00:40:46,777 --> 00:40:48,154
I don't want to walk away.
768
00:40:51,574 --> 00:40:53,367
I want to enjoy
every moment I can
769
00:40:53,451 --> 00:40:58,289
with Vicki, even if it
has to end some day.
770
00:40:58,372 --> 00:41:04,378
Merrill, you hardly
know your daughter.
771
00:41:04,461 --> 00:41:07,256
Take this opportunity
and live with her,
772
00:41:07,339 --> 00:41:10,426
learn what she's all about.
773
00:41:10,509 --> 00:41:15,347
If it turns out that
she belongs with you,
774
00:41:15,431 --> 00:41:18,809
then that's where
I want her to be.
775
00:41:18,893 --> 00:41:21,854
You mean that?
776
00:41:21,937 --> 00:41:24,732
All I want is what
is best for her.
777
00:41:24,815 --> 00:41:27,401
That's all?
778
00:41:27,484 --> 00:41:29,028
That's everything.
779
00:41:29,111 --> 00:41:30,821
Captain merrill?
780
00:41:34,241 --> 00:41:35,701
I just came in to say goodbye.
781
00:41:44,293 --> 00:41:47,463
I'm afraid that's impossible.
782
00:41:47,546 --> 00:41:48,380
What?
783
00:41:48,464 --> 00:41:50,591
How can I say goodbye
if you're coming
784
00:41:50,674 --> 00:41:50,716
back to the ship with me?
785
00:41:53,928 --> 00:41:56,055
I am?
786
00:41:56,138 --> 00:42:00,142
That is if you think you can
put up with me for a while.
787
00:42:00,226 --> 00:42:02,937
Forever and ever!
788
00:42:03,020 --> 00:42:04,897
I love you!
789
00:42:04,980 --> 00:42:05,606
And I love you!
790
00:42:10,986 --> 00:42:13,989
Thank you.
791
00:42:14,073 --> 00:42:16,200
She really does
have your eyes.
792
00:42:29,421 --> 00:42:33,300
I wonder if the Hamilton's
ever had champagne in bed.
793
00:42:33,384 --> 00:42:36,762
Well, if they
did, I will bet you
794
00:42:36,845 --> 00:42:39,348
that this was the
moment that he told
795
00:42:39,431 --> 00:42:42,351
her that she was beautiful.
796
00:42:42,434 --> 00:42:45,229
Oh, there was
never any evidence
797
00:42:45,312 --> 00:42:46,647
he ever said such a thing.
798
00:42:49,358 --> 00:42:50,985
Maybe that's what
made her so mad.
799
00:42:51,068 --> 00:42:53,529
She wasn't mad.
800
00:42:53,612 --> 00:42:56,073
He was just a
dyed-in-the-wool nut.
801
00:42:56,156 --> 00:42:57,157
Like me.
802
00:42:57,241 --> 00:42:57,908
You?
803
00:42:57,992 --> 00:43:00,077
Mm-hm.
804
00:43:00,160 --> 00:43:04,081
For not having told you that
you're wonderful sooner.
805
00:43:09,586 --> 00:43:12,673
And I've never met
anybody like you.
806
00:43:12,756 --> 00:43:13,674
Are you trying--
807
00:43:13,757 --> 00:43:15,676
are you trying to say that, um--
808
00:43:15,759 --> 00:43:17,720
that I'm falling in love?
809
00:43:17,803 --> 00:43:18,929
Mm-hm.
810
00:43:19,013 --> 00:43:19,930
Mm-hm.
811
00:43:20,014 --> 00:43:20,723
Yep.
812
00:43:23,934 --> 00:43:26,812
I confess.
813
00:43:26,895 --> 00:43:28,230
I am guilty.
814
00:43:46,123 --> 00:43:46,874
Good evening.
815
00:43:49,543 --> 00:43:50,669
Oh, it's you.
816
00:43:50,753 --> 00:43:54,757
Who were you expecting,
that Casanova Dr. Bricker?
817
00:43:54,840 --> 00:43:57,301
He is not a Casanova.
818
00:43:57,384 --> 00:43:59,720
And by the way, I
am not a floozy.
819
00:43:59,803 --> 00:44:02,264
Well, I saw you kissing him.
820
00:44:02,348 --> 00:44:03,891
But did you ever
give me a tumble?
821
00:44:03,974 --> 00:44:06,101
No.
822
00:44:06,185 --> 00:44:07,311
You?
823
00:44:07,394 --> 00:44:10,564
Look, I'm not a big swinger.
824
00:44:10,647 --> 00:44:12,441
I'm, I'm bashful.
825
00:44:12,524 --> 00:44:16,403
It isn't easy for me
to approach a stranger.
826
00:44:16,487 --> 00:44:22,910
I-- lady, I've been wanting
to meet you this whole trip.
827
00:44:22,993 --> 00:44:23,744
You have?
828
00:44:23,827 --> 00:44:25,079
Oh, what's the use.
829
00:44:25,162 --> 00:44:28,582
You probably find me
too old-fashioned.
830
00:44:28,665 --> 00:44:31,627
Now, now, wait a minute.
831
00:44:31,710 --> 00:44:34,922
Would you think I was forward
if I bought you a drink?
832
00:44:35,005 --> 00:44:36,840
No.
833
00:44:36,924 --> 00:44:40,803
And if I ask you to take
me dancing afterwards?
834
00:44:40,886 --> 00:44:42,930
No.
835
00:44:43,013 --> 00:44:43,972
Well then, shall we?
836
00:44:44,056 --> 00:44:44,765
Woo!
837
00:44:55,692 --> 00:44:58,237
Well, hello there!
838
00:44:58,320 --> 00:44:59,029
Hello.
839
00:45:02,991 --> 00:45:04,952
I hope you don't mind being
out with one of today's women.
840
00:45:05,035 --> 00:45:06,620
No.
841
00:45:06,703 --> 00:45:08,455
Just don't get like her.
842
00:45:08,539 --> 00:45:10,124
You know, she's
been hitting on me
843
00:45:10,207 --> 00:45:11,792
ever since I got on this boat.
844
00:45:11,875 --> 00:45:12,751
Really?
845
00:45:12,835 --> 00:45:13,544
Shocking.
846
00:45:24,847 --> 00:45:26,140
Sorry about the
accommodations,
847
00:45:26,223 --> 00:45:28,809
but it's the best I can do
on the spur of the moment.
848
00:45:28,892 --> 00:45:30,519
That's ok.
849
00:45:30,602 --> 00:45:34,815
You know, I was wondering, what
should I call you from now on?
850
00:45:34,898 --> 00:45:37,818
What would you
like to call me?
851
00:45:37,901 --> 00:45:38,610
I don't know.
852
00:45:41,280 --> 00:45:43,365
"Daddy" doesn't sound
right, and you certainly
853
00:45:43,449 --> 00:45:46,201
don't look like a "pop."
854
00:45:46,285 --> 00:45:47,327
Thank goodness.
855
00:45:47,411 --> 00:45:51,331
I guess "captain merrill"
fits you best of all.
856
00:45:51,415 --> 00:45:53,667
Then why argue
with perfection?
857
00:45:53,750 --> 00:45:57,004
Captain merrill I am,
captain merrill I remain.
858
00:45:57,087 --> 00:45:58,505
Ok?
859
00:45:58,589 --> 00:46:00,299
Ok.
860
00:46:00,382 --> 00:46:01,842
Captain merrill?
861
00:46:01,925 --> 00:46:03,760
Who?
862
00:46:03,844 --> 00:46:04,178
You know what?
863
00:46:04,261 --> 00:46:06,430
What?
864
00:46:06,513 --> 00:46:07,473
I'd rather be
here than any place
865
00:46:07,556 --> 00:46:10,309
else in the whole wide world.
866
00:46:10,392 --> 00:46:15,189
So would I.
867
00:46:15,272 --> 00:46:21,487
I bet, if mommy is
watching, she'd be happy, too.
868
00:46:26,783 --> 00:46:26,909
Do you think she is?
869
00:46:31,622 --> 00:46:32,498
I'm sure of it.
870
00:46:47,137 --> 00:46:48,889
[Music playing]
871
00:46:58,023 --> 00:46:59,817
Sometimes things
get a little confused,
872
00:46:59,900 --> 00:47:01,777
but all's well that ends well.
873
00:47:01,860 --> 00:47:03,987
Thank you for everything.
874
00:47:04,071 --> 00:47:05,739
Well, I'm happy you're happy.
875
00:47:05,822 --> 00:47:08,242
I'm sorry things didn't
work out for the two of us,
876
00:47:08,325 --> 00:47:09,910
but don't give up hope.
877
00:47:09,993 --> 00:47:13,664
I'm sure there's a man out
there waiting for you--
878
00:47:13,747 --> 00:47:14,456
somewhere.
879
00:47:21,630 --> 00:47:24,758
Darling, when you say that
the defendant is innocent,
880
00:47:24,841 --> 00:47:26,051
then the defendant is innocent.
881
00:47:26,134 --> 00:47:28,804
Oh, darling, you are
entitled to your own opinion,
882
00:47:28,887 --> 00:47:32,766
but you were wrong when
you said I was right.
883
00:47:32,849 --> 00:47:35,769
No, no, no, darling,
you are wrong when
884
00:47:35,852 --> 00:47:38,689
you say that I am
wrong when I am trying
885
00:47:38,772 --> 00:47:40,524
to tell you that you are right.
886
00:47:40,607 --> 00:47:42,985
You're so right.
887
00:47:43,068 --> 00:47:44,945
What happened to them?
888
00:47:45,028 --> 00:47:46,113
I don't know.
889
00:47:46,196 --> 00:47:47,447
Looks like the
jury is still out.
890
00:47:47,531 --> 00:47:49,700
Anybody seen Vicki?
891
00:47:49,783 --> 00:47:50,492
Nope.
892
00:47:50,576 --> 00:47:51,535
Not since breakfast.
893
00:47:51,618 --> 00:47:53,453
Well, she's got to be
around here somewhere.
894
00:47:53,537 --> 00:47:55,455
Maybe she's on deck.
895
00:47:55,539 --> 00:47:56,206
Sir.
896
00:48:03,380 --> 00:48:05,215
Bye, bye.
897
00:48:05,299 --> 00:48:06,717
Thank you for sailing with us.
898
00:48:06,800 --> 00:48:07,467
Bye, bye.
899
00:48:07,551 --> 00:48:08,510
Hope you enjoyed your cruise.
900
00:48:08,594 --> 00:48:11,763
Bye, come again soon.
901
00:48:11,847 --> 00:48:15,726
We certainly enjoyed having you.
902
00:48:15,809 --> 00:48:16,018
[Laughter]
903
00:48:28,488 --> 00:48:56,183
[Theme music - "love boat"] B
60970
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