All language subtitles for The Love Boat S02E18 9 Disco Baby Alas Poor Dwyer After the War Ticket to Ride Itsy Bitsy 1080p PMTP WEB-DL AAC2 0 H 264-BTN (1)_track3_[eng]

[THEME - JACK JONES, "THE LOVE
BOAT THEME"]

THEME SONG: Love, exciting
and new, come aboard.

We're expecting you.

And love, life's sweetest
reward, let it flow.

It floats back to you.

The love boat soon will
be making another run.

The love boat promises
something for everyone.

Set a course for adventure,
your mind on a new romance.

And love won't hurt anymore.

It's an open smile
on a friendly shore.

It's love.

Welcome aboard!

It's love!

Sir, please!

Isn't there anything that
you can do about Julie?

She's driving us crazy.

Gopher, try to understand.

This isn't an ordinary
cruise to her.

It's her high school
reunion, and she

wants everything to be perfect.

Oh!

Good morning!

Good morning!

I can't afford any mix ups.

So if you please recheck
your cabin assignments.

And are you sure that
you made enough punch

for the Welcome Alumni party?

Oh, well.

I would have made
a bigger batch,

but I didn't want to leave
a ring around the pool.

We're expecting a
lot of wild parties.

Now are you sure that you're
set up to handle them?

I'll try.

But I can only go
to one at a time.

Gentlemen, be serious.

Oh, Captain Stubing?

It is almost boarding time.

Shouldn't you be on the
bridge checking your charts?

Of course.

Anything else, Captain McCoy?

No, not right now.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I guess I'm letting all this
reunion stuff go to my head.

Now I promise from now
on, I will be cool, calm,

and collected.

Oh, it looks like your
classmates are boarding.

Where?

Oh!

[inaudible] Let's give
a cheer for Haley High!

Hey, man, I know you.

You're Ross Randall, right?

Right.

Jason Markham.

- Hi.
- Pete DeLuca.

Hi.

You were in the same class
as my sister, weren't you?

You're Rosemary's kid
brother, the one that never--

If you don't stop necking,
I'm going to tell Mom!

You're the one.

Got your own series, huh?

Far out.

Now don't embarrass me
by asking for an autograph.

I'm the same lovable,
talented Ross Randall

you knew back in school.

Oh.

We always knew you'd make it.

And we always knew
you'd never change.

Please, please--
don't touch the star.

Excuse me.

Wendy?

Julie?

Oh, hi!

You look terrific.

You look great!

Thank you.

Well, where's Tom?

Oh, we broke up months ago.

You did?

You were practically engaged!

What happened?

Well, I don't know.

You know, Tom's real practical.

You know?

I mean, he's real
careful, you know?

He's a real stick in the mud.

You know?

I need a little more
romance in my life.

Well, if I know
you, you'll find it.

Well, should I let you
in on a little secret?

Oh, please.

I think I've already found it.

No.

I have an anonymous
admirer on this cruise.

Has anyone been looking for me?

Not yet, no.

Well, somebody
sent me the ticket.

I didn't buy it.

And it came with
this note attached.

Let me see.

Come sail with me.

Let's share romance.

And in each other's
arms, we'll fly.

If you won't give
my heart a chance,

I'll hold my breath until I die.

Oh, that's fantastic!

To think, on
this boat somewhere

is my Prince Charming.

Yeah!

Good luck.

[laughs] I'll see you later.

Wow.

Hi, Wendy.

Oh, Tom.

Hi.

You're not going on
this cruise, are you?

Oh, no.

I wish I was.

But you know, I'm
saving every penny to--

[IN UNISON] --open
my own office.

I just came to see you off.

Oh.

Thanks.

Yeah.

And I brought these for you.

Tom!

Thank you.

How sweet.

Have a nice cruise.

Thank you!

Oh, and thanks for the flowers.

They're beautiful.

You're welcome.

Well, have you met your
sexy phys ed teacher yet?

No, and I hope she
doesn't cancel out.

How come you're so
excited about a blind date?

Oh, this is no
ordinary blind date.

When Julie showed me Bitsy's
picture in the yearbook,

I practically popped
my thermometer.

Ooh, man.

She doesn't teach
physical education.

She is physical education.

And I can't wait
for class to begin.

Oh, boy.

Look who's here.

I'm looking.

I'm looking.

I must go down
to the seas again,

to the lonely sea and the sky.

And all I ask is a tall ship
and a star to steer her by.

Well, gentlemen.

I use the term
loosely, very loosely.

If it ain't Mr. Dwyer.

Ain't?

I flunked you in English,
didn't I, DeLuca?

Uh, yeah.

Good.

Mr. Dwyer!

Hi.

Tell me this
gorgeous creature isn't

Dimples McCoy, heavenly
heartbreaker of Haley High.

A rose by any other name.

Oh, you're like a great wine.

You've improved with age.

Thank you.

Captain, this is
Mr. Malcolm Dwyer.

He was in charge of
our English department

and directed all of
our plays and musicals.

They were terrific.

Then how come we
never got to Broadway?

[laughs] May I introduce
my skipper, Captain Stubing?

It's my pleasure.

Confidentially, I was
a performer myself

when I was in high school.

Yes, Gilbert and Sullivan--

I'm very, very good
and be it understood.

I commander a right good crew.

[SINGING TOGETHER]
He's very, very good.

And be it understood, he
commanders a right good crew.

[applause]

Any friend of mine is a friend
of Gilbert and Sullivan's.

My sentiments exactly.

Oh, well, it's almost
time to cast off.

Would you be kind enough to
be my guest up on the bridge?

Oh.

Thank you.

But I'd better find my
cabin and get unpacked.

Oh, but Mr. Dwyer,
it is an honor.

Oh.

Thank you!

Another time, perhaps?

Excuse me.

Thank you.

Hm.

Oh, Jack.

I'm really glad we came.

Oh, me, too.

I can't wait to
meet the old gang.

I hope Mike made it.

Hi.

- You guys part of the reunion?
- Yes.

Jack and Kathy Forbes.

Hi.

Let's see.

Oh, we already have
our cabin assignment.

Say, we're looking
for a Mike Kelly.

Have you seen him?

Oh, Mike Kelly?
Sure.

Right over there.

Yeah.

I heard he was quite
a war hero, Vietnam.

Oh, no.

Jack.

Is something wrong?

Uh-- no.

We'll see you later.

Thank you.

Well, I think
we're all aboard.

Yes.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Hey, everybody!

Hey, everybody.

How about we give a cheer
for our old alma mater?

[cheering]

[crowd reciting school cheer]
[inaudible] Let's give

a cheer for Haley High!

[cheering]

Well, if you can't
beat them, join them.

Yay, Haley!

[crowd cheering] Yay!

[horn sounding]

- Hey!
- Julie!

- Joey!
- Hey.

Hi.

Hi.

Whoa, it's great seeing you.

You look terrific.

Thanks.

So how's your family?

Your folks still got the
butcher shop and everything?

Oh, yeah.
Sure.

Good.
How's your dad?

Is he well?

Yeah, he's fine.

He's a little
disappointed that I didn't

go into business with him.

No?

Well, I'm a dancer now.

Hey, that's terrific.

Yeah, it's nothing really.

I just teach disco
and give exhibitions.

And I'm his partner.

Remember me?

Sherry!
Of course.

Hi!

Hey, I could forget who was
the best dancer in school, you.

I might have forgotten who
was the head cheerleader, you.

But I could never forget
who stole him from me, you.

It's terrible being
nothing but a sex object.

[laughter]

So catch me up on the news.

You two uh--
- No!

--married?

We're just a team.

Quite a team.

Oh.

Well, great.

Listen, I've got
some work to do.

So why don't we all get
together and talk later?

OK?
- Sure.

Great.
We got to unpack anyway.

All right.
Fine.

Nice seeing you.

See you later.

She looks terrific, doesn't she?

Yeah, swell.

Julie?

Julie McCoy?
- Yes.

Can I help you?

Yeah.

You sure can.

Let me give you a hint.

Allagaroo!

Allagari!

Let's all cheer for Haley High!

Bitsy!

That's right!

And it's OK.

Nobody recognizes me these days.

Well, you're looking--

I'm looking even
more so, right?

[laughter]

Well, it has been 10 years.

And in my case, they
weren't exactly lean years.

[laughs]

Excuse me a second, fellows.

I can't wait any longer.

Where's my phys ed teacher?

Well, you're looking at her.

Bitsy, this is Doc.

Hi.

Bitsy?

Bitsy?

Well, of course.

I recognized your lovely
face from the yearbook.

Yeah?

My body's in Volume 2.

[laughter]

So that's Doc's dreamboat.

Dreamboat, nothing--
the whole fleet's in.

Beautiful day.

You know, Ross, we had
television in the hospital

all the time.

Sure did a lot for me.

Hey, you really mean that?

Well, I kept telling myself--

I've got to get out of here.

Hey, Ross.

Tell me something.

What's it-- what's it
really like in Hollywood?

Between you and me?

It is fantastic.

Yeah?

Swinging parties,
three girls to every guy,

wild carryings on till 3:00,
4:00 o'clock in the morning.

And this goes on every
night of the week.

Far in.

I just wish I could have
gotten myself invited to one.

You can't spend the whole
reunion avoiding Mike Kelly.

Kathy, he was
my closest friend.

We did everything together.

How am I going to
tell him that I

bailed out and went to Canada?

But you went to Canada for
a reason you believed in.

You've got nothing
to be ashamed of.

Tell that to Mike.

The Vietnam War was
wrong, and you know it.

You paid your debt.

How can you compare sweeping
the floors in a Miami hospital

to the kind of debt
that Mike paid?

The government made you do
two years of alternate service.

We had no friends.

We had no money when we went
to Canada, but we made it work.

We built the business
with our own two hands.

That's something to be proud of.

I'm sorry.

Sometimes I forget
how far we've come.

Jack, for once, let's
enjoy what we have together.

All right.

Listen.

I'm going to have to face
Mike sooner or later.

Stay close, huh?

Isaac.

Hey, how are you
doing, Mr. Randall?

Fine.

Let me have four beers.

Ah, you got it--
coming right up.

Uno, dos, uno, dos, tres--

Mr. Dwyer.

Isaac, a drink for my
old English teacher.

I was young till I
had you as a student.

I teach English.

I drink Scotch.

Scotch it is.

All right.

Half a glass?

Oh, we Scotch are thrifty.

We Scotch are thirsty.

Well, Malcolm--

Mr. Dwyer-- how are
you and the drama

club getting along without me?

The drama club has suffered.

But I personally have not
had a headache in 10 years.

You know, Randall,
you were the best

Hamlet our school ever had.

Well, thank you, sir.

I appreciate that.

You were a very good teacher.

So why did you switch
from Shakespeare to schlock?

I've seen your show.

You've sold out.

My show has one of the
highest ratings on television.

So has Yogi Bear, but I
don't watch him, either.

Put a little something
in this, will you?

See you around
campus, Mr. Dwyer.

You were kind of hard
on him, weren't you?

I mean, the man is a star.

Oh, hell.

On television, anybody with
blond hair and a dimple

can be a star.

Aside from his
momentary little detour,

he's on his way to
becoming a real actor.

Well, then why did you--

Why?

A thousand reasons-- the
least of which is envy.

Say, I thought I asked
you for another Scotch?

I just gave you
one, Mr. Dwyer.

Nonsense!

Me thinks the lad's
mind is not on his work.

Now lay it on, Macduff--

MacIsaac.

Hey!

Hey, Wendy!

Hi, Ross.

Hi.

You know something?

I bet you had the best looking
body in the student body.

It's too bad we weren't
in the same year.

It'd be a year to remember.

Really?

Listen, how would you
like to have cocktails

and dinner and dancing?

Sounds wonderful.

Of course, it is.

When Ross Randall likes
a girl, he goes all out.

Yeah?

Pick you up about seven?

And then you and I, we're
going to go straight to heaven.

Julie?

Yeah.

Julie, I can't believe him.

I mean, I cannot believe
that Ross Randall.

It's Ross Randall.

I mean, he just asked me
to dinner and everything.

No!

Well, how can you be sure
that he paid for the ticket?

Well, he says when he likes
a girl, he goes all out.

Sounds right to me.

You want me to move to another
ship so you two can be alone?

Come on, Sherry.

She's just an old
friend from high school.

Well, I was there, remember?

You two were more
than just friends.

We haven't seen
each other for years.

We haven't even kept in touch.

Good.

Keep it that way.

Don't touch.

Look, why would I be
interested in anybody else?

I've got the greatest
girl in town.

In case you haven't noticed,
we're not exactly in town.

This is really silly.

I can't believe I'm actually
jealous about a girl

you haven't seen in 10 years.

Sorry.

It must be love.

What is it?

I don't know.

I guess I'm just not
much of a sailor.

Oh, honey.

Look, why don't I take
you down to your cabin,

and maybe we can get
something from the doctor?

Why don't we just
go to my cabin?

So that's itsy Bitsy, eh, Doc?

Well, you really got
yourself a heavy date, man.

[laughs] Has she invited
you down to her cabin yet?

Very funny-- that's
vastly amusing.

Doc, Doc, you can always
just break the date.

Dr. Bricker, Dr. Bricker,
report to your office,

medical emergency.

I made the date.

I'm going to keep it.

Well, you're a big man, Doc.

Not as big as your date.

[inaudible]

Good morning.

Hello, ladies.

Good morning.

Well, Mr. Paul,
how are you, sir?

[laughs] Well, Mr. Dwyer--

And how are you, my
wandering minstrel friend?

Oh, fine, thank you.

Fine, thank you?

Fine, thank you?

You're not supposed to
say fine, thank you.

That was a song cue I gave you.

"The Mikado," man,
"The Mikado"--

[SINGING] A wandering
minstrel, I,

a thing of shreds and patches,
of ballad songs and snatches--

[SINGING TOGETHER]
--and dreamy lullabies.

[SINGING] Oh, yeah.

[dining room chatter]

Why don't we go play
hooky and hang out together?

[laughs] I don't think
that Sherry would like that.

Well, then we
won't invite her.

Well, Joey!

Oh, come on.

I just want to see a
little bit more of you.

It's been a long time.

Well, I will be in
the lounge after dinner.

Bring your dancing shoes.

OK.

He gets my vote as
most likely to succeed.

[laughter]

Try some of these
potatoes au gratin.

They are fantastic.

No, thanks.

I'm watching my calories.

And I'm not--

dinner pooper.

You know, Bitsy, if
you'd ordered that lobster

without the sauce,
it would have been

250 calories instead of 800?

Right.

Well, I still know how
I can save 600 calories.

Well, how can you do that?

Pass up the strawberry
shortcake and eat my napkin.

[laughter]

Didn't used to be
a phys ed teacher?

- I still am.
- Huh?

A few years ago,
I figured out I just

have to teach those push ups.

I don't have to do them.

You know, there's some
pretty good diets around.

Oh, I tried them all--

Weight Watchers, Fat
Fighters, Blubber Battlers.

That's not easy to say, is it?

It's even harder to do.

And they all made
me a nervous wreck.

Well, I'm only
trying to be helpful.

But you know the old
cliche, inside of every--

Fat person.

--is a thin person
struggling to get out.

Huh uh.

Hm?

Outside of me, there was
a gallon of fudge ripple ice

cream struggling to get in.

What happened?

It made it.

[laughter]

Dinner was
absolutely the best.

What's for dessert?

You.

Ross!

Listen, listen, I
have this beautiful,

beautiful empty cabin.

And if you don't say yes,
I'm going to hold my breath.

Until you die?

Well, don't go crazy.

How about till I turn purple?

Shall we?

I don't understand.

I especially invited Mr. Dwyer
to have dinner with us tonight,

and he never showed up.

Maybe he found a partner
who could sing on key.

I can't believe
you're a boxer.

Would you buy I'm a mailman?

[makes funny sound]

Did you see Bobby Malloy
in the Roman collar?

Can you believe that
guy became a priest?

I know.

Well, why not?

He always liked bingo.

That's why you're
a mailman, Pete.

Close enough for
government work.

Hey, buddy?

Jack!

Kathy?

I didn't know you
two were on board!

It's great to see you, Mike.

Great doesn't
begin to describe it.

Has he been treating
you all right?

Yeah.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, you, too--

now what's been happening
for the last 10 years.

Huh?
Some best friend--

I want to know where you've
been, what you've been doing.

I want to know everything.

Oh, well.

We're-- we're in the
clothing business.

We make t-shirts, you know,
the kind with graphics on them.

It's-- it's going OK.

We started on the
proverbial shoestring.

And now we have employees I
think we haven't even met.

I know how hard
you work at something

once your mind is set.

You deserve everything you get.

Come on.

Let's go get a drink.

Come on, Pete.

No, no, I'll join you later.

You guys have got a lot
of reminiscing to do.

Watch your toes!

Coming through!

You know, Ross?

That really was a very
romantic thing you did.

What was it?

I'll remember-- was it this?

Uh, Ross?

I'm talking about the ticket.

Huh?

You sent me a ticket for
this cruise, didn't you?

I think you have
the wrong boy.

You see, I play a detective,
not a millionaire.

What am I doing in this cabin?

Oh, nothing yet-- nothing.

That's right, Ross.

And it's going to stay that way.

Huh?

Hey!

I was wondering when we were
going to run into each other.

Oh.

Hi, Pete.

You remembered me!

Yeah.

Yeah.

You were the one who
nailed my shoes to the floor.

Huh uh.

I was the one who put
cornflakes in your gym shorts--

just trying to get
your attention.

And now that I got it, how
about going dancing, huh?

Well, why not?

It's included in the price
of your ticket, isn't it?

Let's go.

[dance music playing]

[crowd chatter]

Isaac is terrific!

Go, Isaac, go!

Yeah, please go.

You're making me look bad.

[laughter]

Oh!

[inaudible]

I'm Joey.

[inaudible]

Oh!

[inaudible]

I'm Joey.

[inaudible]

[clapping]

Hey, [inaudible].

How you doing?

Woo!

All right!

Looking good!

All right.

[applause]

[disco song playing]

[SINGING] You and I [inaudible].

You and I, I know that
our love will be strong.

You and I, we'll [inaudible].

You and I know together
is where we belong.

So reach out, reach
out, and touch me.

You know that I'll
be right after you.

You and--

[cheering]

Come on, everybody.

Get down.

Come on in.

You're a terrific
dancer, Julie.

Well, you're a
terrific partner.

You're a great teacher.

Thanks.

Tell me something,
would you and your partner

give a few disco lessons
to some of the passengers.

I know they'd like it.

Sure, I'd love to, Captain.

Joey, I've got to cool off.

Do you want to go up on deck?

Sure.

Yeah.

Why don't I go
check with Joey?

But first, I think I
need a few private lessons.

Now how does that
stuff go again?

Left, left?

Uh, cross 2,3,
cross, 2,3, step, step.

That's right.
- Cross 2, 3.

That's it.

Cross 2, 3.

Step.

I think I've got it.

[laughter]

You're a lovely teacher.

Step, step.

[SINGING] You're the
hand that I need.

Bitsy?

You're giving that
"Saturday Night Fever."

Well, take two aspirin
and call me in the morning.

[laughter]

OK.

Don't tell anybody.

I'll go get Doc.

Excuse me, Doc.
We need you.

Later, Goph.

Doc, this is an emergency.

It's OK, Gopher.

Uh, Bitsy, Doc
really has to go.

Never mind, Gopher.

Go ahead.

Take care of your emergency.

If you have time, will
you do me a favor?

Why-- sure.

Take a leap overboard.

Wait a minute!

I was having a terrific time.

Doc, this is a real emergency.

It's Mr. Dwyer's cabin.

Well, why didn't you say so?

You'd better tell the Captain.

Excuse me.

Doc?

Medically speaking,
Mr. Dwyer's bombed.

As a specialist in
this field, I'd say

he's bombed out of his skull.

Mr. Dwyer?

Mr. Dwyer?

This is the Captain!

[SINGING] I am the
captain on the "Pinafore."

[singing incoherently]
armadillo.

Man has a problem, sir.

Alcoholism is
more than a problem.

I think the best thing we can
do is just let him sleep it off.

I'm afraid our
friend, Mr. Dwyer

has a rough road ahead of him.

[SINGING QUIETLY] [inaudible].

[light snore]

Really nice seeing
everybody again, isn't it?

Oh, yeah.

Hey, did you hear
about David Roberts?

Yes, six kids!

Well, yeah, I know.

But did you hear what
he does for a living?

No.

He owns a store that
sells maternity clothes.

No.

Well, that's keeping the
family in the business.

Or, is that the
business in the family?

I missed you.

I've missed you.

Hey.

Isn't that something about
Ross being a big TV star?

Yeah.

You could be a star, too.

You're a great dancer.

Nah.

Yeah, ever since
we were kids, you've

always been great dancer.

Remember the first time we
went out, and after the movies

we went driving?

You mean parking.

I was so nervous.

Are you nervous now?

No.

Joey, what about Sherry?

Yeah.

I'd better get back in.

I'll see you later.

Yeah.

I didn't even have the guts
to tell him I went to Canada.

Enough!

You paid your dues!

Aw, my dues?

Mike's in a wheelchair.

We used to play
football together.

Now he can't even pick one up.

Why are you feeling so guilty?

Well, how do you
expect me to feel?

I mean, there's Mike.

And here I am with
a healthy body

and a ton of money in the bank!

Nobody handed you that money.

You worked for it.

Yes.

I had the chance to work for it.

Mike didn't.

Aw, Kathy, I did
the wrong thing.

I see.

And the right thing would have
been for you to go off to war

and end up like
that, wheeled off

some plane while the
band plays "Johnny

Comes Marching Home Again?"

[YELLING] Stop it!

[WHISPERING] Stop it.

Well, I hope you enjoyed
your kiss in the moonlight.

And I hope you
enjoyed spying on me.

Hey, now wait a minute!

Don't try to make me the heavy.

I wasn't out necking with
my high school sweetheart.

Oh, for Pete's sake,
it was one little kiss.

It's not as if I dragged
her down to my cabin.

You're right.

I'm sorry.

I guess I'm just into
that old-fashioned thing.

You know, like when two
people love each other

and decide to get
married, they don't

go making out with other women.

I'm obviously wrong.

Yeah, well, maybe
we're both obviously

wrong about getting married.

Yeah, maybe you're right.

Look.

Why don't we just relax here for
a second, take a deep breath,

and stop this, before
it gets too far.

You're right.

I didn't mean to spy on you.

Well, the kiss just happened--

wasn't meant to.

Promise?

Yeah.

I love you.

I love you, too.

All right.

So remember, it's two counts
of six and then a ten.

Loosen up and get down!

Ready?

[dance music playing]

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6-- here we go!

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and 5, 2, 3,

.

All right, [inaudible], Gopher!

8, 9, 10, 1, 2,
3, 4, 5, 6, slide.

Touch.

[inaudible]

Ah, looking good!

All right!

You're on your own!

All right.

Come on, now.
Woo!

Come on, Captain, get with it!

[inaudible]

All right.

Aw, you're looking good, McCoy.

Whoa!

[SINGING] Dancing, dancing,
dancing all night long.

Joey, what is that dip step
you were doing with Sherry?

Oh, sure.

It's real easy.

You just start
with the bus stop.

5, 6, 7, to me.

[inaudible]

2, and 3.

Come on, now.

Do it around me.

OK.

2, switch hands.

So I'm going to turn you
[inaudible] under me.

- Yeah?
- Right, and I lean you in.

- Uh huh.
- Right?

And now the dip!

Come on, Jason.

Woo!

Hey, Bitsy?

Can I talk to you a minute?

Sure, Doc.

Is it an emergency?

Hey, about last
night, I'm sorry.

But I'm always on call.

Oh, of course.

What's a date compared
to a medical emergency?

Boy, that Joey certainly
can dance, can't he?

Oh, he sure can.

But I'd much rather
dance with you like this

or like last night.

Me, too!

Well, I'm just sorry last
night ended with the dancing.

Well, tonight's another night.

Why don't I get us a
couple of drinks, huh?

Well, it's a little
early, isn't it?

Well, I mean, it doesn't matter.

I'm here to have a good time.

Yeah.

Darn right-- that's
why I made sure you

didn't miss this reunion.

How am I doing, babe?

Am I getting it?

Yeah.

I'm getting it, too.

I'm sorry, Jason.

I really don't feel very good.

Oh, here.

Settle down.

[SINGING] Dancing, dancing--

Woo!

Are you all right?

Yeah, I think so.

Well, you'd better
come down to my office.

I'll check you out.

No, um, I'll be all right.

But I think that's it for me.

[SINGING] Dancing
all night long.

Come on, yeah!

Woo!

A horse, a horse, my
kingdom for a horse--

or better yet, a Moscow mule.

Ooh, it's a little
early for a mule.

How about some of my coffee?

It carries quite a kick.

Coffee can kill you.

You get your kicks your way.

Come, come, good wine is
a good familiar creature--

"Othello."

Familiar creature
if it well be used.

My luck-- I have
to find a bartender

who knows Shakespeare.

Two screwdrivers, please.

Careful my screwdrivers
will hit you like a hammer.

In that case, I'll take one.

Well, enjoying your
cruise, Mr. Dwyer?

Enjoying my cruise?

How could I not enjoy it?

They cater to your every whim.

Hm.

Gracias.
See you later.

Si.

MacIsaac, this is
straight orange juice.

Mr. Dwyer, if you
really want a thirst

quencher, why don't
you let me fix one

of my special fruit punches.

Now you listen to me.

I am a paying passenger.

And I need a drink.

I want a drink now!

Or I'll report you
to the Captain.

He's the one who asked
me not to serve you.

How could you do that--

ordering him to cut me off?

Well, perhaps I
overstepped my mark.

But I did it in
your best interest.

I'm a big boy, Captain.

So I take a little
libation once in a while.

It's just my way of
escaping, that's all.

And what do you
have to escape from?

I'm a joke--

a joke to my students,
past and present.

Now I can't believe
that, Julie tells

me your students worship you.

Sure.

Listen to old man
Dwyer spouting off.

Couldn't make it in
the theater, so now he

has a captive audience
in the classroom.

Hardly a reason to
climb into the bottle.

I can quit drinking
any time I want.

I've done it a dozen times.

Want to try for 13?

No, sir.

I never got to Vietnam.

I wound up at Fort
Knox in Army finance.

That was my problem.

I never knew how
to handle money.

And speaking of money,
anybody for five card stud?

Oh, no.

No way-- my daddy had a rule.

Never gamble with a
nun or an ex-Marine.

Oh, yeah?

Do I look like a nun?

The biggest pot I ever won
was in a game at Vietnam.

I bluffed my lieutenant
out of $200 bucks

and then I left the game.

What?

You didn't give him
a chance to get even?

Oh, he got even all right.

He gave me 30 days KP.

[laughter]

Hey, buddy, buddy's wife?

Come on over.

Sit down.

We'd better go over.

We can't walk right past him.

Pull up a chair.

All we're doing is sitting
here swapping war stories.

Yep.

I'm just telling them about
the financial end of it.

Ah, here we go.

All right.

The foam is on the house.

You know, Isaac
served in Vietnam.

Yeah, but I prefer
this kind of serving.

[laughter]

Hey, hey.

You know, Jack, I haven't
seen you at all lately.

Where have you been the
last 10 years of my life?

Well, I--

I didn't see combat
like all you guys.

So where were you stationed?

Probably at a soft
desk job, like mine.

Yeah, right.

Hit the nail right on the head.

I had a desk job.

Well, that's nothing
to be ashamed of, huh?

You did your part.

Yeah, sure.

SHIP'S ANNOUNCER:
Good afternoon.

And welcome to Puerto Vallarta.

All those wishing
to go parasailing

meet on the [inaudible]
deck gangway in 10 minutes.

Hi there, McCoy!

So tell me, will Puerto Vallarta
be honored with the presence

of you and Joey?

Why me and Joey?

Well, you're an item.

Aren't you?

No.

No, no, no.

Well, then you're the only
one that doesn't think so.

Smith, do you know that
expression why don't you go--

Ah, yes, yes, I--

Bye, Smith.

Hey, Julie, can I
talk to you, please?

Sure, Sherry.

But maybe later, after
I finish work, OK?

Oh, it'll just take a second.

Sure.

What's up?

Try to understand me, OK?

Julie, I'm not--

I'm not telling you.

I'm simply asking you--

please lay off Joey.

Hey, I don't know what
you're talking about.

Joey and I are just old friends.

Julie, I really love him.

Well, look where you are,
and look where he is.

All he knows is dancing.

And well, you can't
dance forever.

Someday he'll probably
be back working

at his father's butcher shop.

Sherry, there's
no disgrace in that.

No, no, I know.

I'm-- I'm not putting him down.

I know what he is,
and he's all I want.

I'm afraid you're
asking the wrong person.

I think you should
be talking to Joey.

Yeah.

Forget it.

I thought you'd understand.

Trouble is, I do understand.

Excuse me, does the bus
for Cleveland stop here?

I guess not.

How come you didn't
go into town?

Because I thought you did.

Bitsy, about last night.

Aren't you taking
a chance being

seen talking to me without
Gopher around to rescue you?

I swear to you that
emergency was legit.

It's OK.

I've had this kind of thing
come up in my life before.

Oh, come on.
All right.

You're a chubby lady.

No, I am a fat lady.

All right.

But you happen to be a
sensational fat lady.

And the debonair doctor--

Where?

Right here-- would love to
take you to dinner tonight.

Is this a mercy date?

Oh, I never knew anyone
who needed mercy less.

What do you say?

Pick me up at 7, and
we'll talk about it.

All right.

Carry on.

Malcolm, you're going
to love this place.

It's over there on the beach.

The food is wonderful.

The chef's a personal
friend of mine.

[traditional folk music playing]

[inaudible]

Yes.

[inaudible]

I don't see how you can
possibly rate "The Mikado"

over and above "Pinafore."

Simple!

The songs have more
depth and meaning.

[SINGING] On a tree by a river
a little tom Tit sang "Willow,

tit-willow, tit-willow."

Thank you, next.

[laughter]

Nice restaurant.

Wait till you taste the food.

Buenos dias, senores.

[inaudible]

Oh, waiter.

I always like to drink
while I'm reading.

I'll have a margarita, please.

With this Mexican sun, I
need all the salt I can get.

I'm sorry, senor.

We do not serve alcohol here.

I'll have soda water
and lime, please.

Looks like another
big day in town.

Make it two.

Thanks a bunch.

It's a start.

All these starts
may be my finish.

Capitan Stubing!

Manuel!

[laughs] Excuse me for a minute.

Manuel's an old friend.

Manuel!

[speaking spanish]

You know, old man Dwyer
really takes the cake.

Can you imagine him
accusing me of selling out?

Was he sober when he said it?

It must be true, then.

Yeah, well, listen, if he
didn't have a teaching job,

he'd be out auditioning
for a church basement

production of "Hamlet."

[laughter]

You're forgetting one thing.

He was the best
teacher we ever had.

Yeah, you're right.

You know, I hate
to think where I'd

be today if it wasn't for him.

Pete, I really
had a wonderful day.

Well, just say yes, and it
will be a wonderful night.

Before I say yes,
I have to find out

if you're really the right one.

Baby, after the yes,
you'll know I'm the one.

Remember those guys?

Pete?

Are you responsible
for me being here?

Child, it's time you
learned the facts of life.

See now, before you
were born, your daddy

wanted to show your mommy
just how much he loved her.

No, no, no, no!

Be serious!

You said that you wanted
to make sure that I

came to the class reunion.

Well, that's right.

I'm the one that sent out the
invitations to all the grads.

Boy, I had a heck of a
time finding your address.

Hard to find.

You mean, you didn't send
me the ticket for this cruise?

Huh uh.

No.

Not me.

Well, I guess you're
not the right one.

See ya.

Well, if I did buy your
ticket, I'd demand a refund.

Sh--

Oh, hey, Isaac?

Can I try this orange one on?

If you keep
drinking like that,

you're going to end
up like Mr. Dwyer.

Thanks, coach.

That lie you told
only made things worse.

Don't you think I know that?

Why'd you do it?

I don't know.

It just slipped out.

Well, you'd better
tell him about Canada

before someone else does.

Kathy, sometimes I think if
there hadn't been a Vietnam,

you would have invented it.

What's that supposed to mean?

Well, you were
bright and persuasive.

And you always seemed
to need some kind

of a cause to rally around.

What?

When we went to
Canada, it was Vietnam.

And now it's this
whole thing with Mike.

We went to Canada for a cause
I believed in and you didn't?

My god, if that's true,
then the only reason

you went there was
because you were scared.

You're damn
right I was scared.

We were all scared.

The guys that went to
Vietnam and the guys

who went to Canada.

Jack--

If you don't understand
that by now, you never will.

SHIP'S ANNOUNCER:
We hope you enjoyed

your day in Puerto Vallarta.

The ship will be
sailing in 30 minutes.

You looked in his cabin?

Nothing.

Then he is nowhere to
be found on this ship.

If Malcolm doesn't show up soon,
we'll have to sail without him.

I could go ashore.

I know most of the places.

Well, it's too late.

Time may have run
out on our Mr. Dwyer.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

[inaudible]

[clears throat]

Mexican policemen
found him, sir.

He insisted on speaking to you.

Happy birthday, general!

This is not my birthday,
and I'm not a general.

Well, don't give up!

[inaudible] It's just
a matter of time.

Take him to his
cabin right away.

Yes, sir.

Valaro!

Sayonara!

Into the valley of
death [inaudible]..

Guns to the right of them,
and guns to the left of them.

Onward, Cossacks!

Adam, is there anything?

I wish I could help.

But it's not just a
medical problem now.

You know that.

Yeah.

I know.

[inaudible] of
Michael [inaudible]..

All right.

To continue with the game
of where are they now,

will Mr. Peter
DeLuca please rise?

Hey!

Hey!

[applause]

Peter, way back when you
were voted the class clown.

What are you doing today?

Well, I'm president
of the United States.

[laughter]

They were right!

They were right!

[inaudible]

What happened to the girl they
voted Miss Life of the Party?

Well, the party's over.

Sherry came to me this afternoon
and begged me to leave.

And you went for it?

Isaac, she needs him.

And you don't?

Didn't anyone ever tell you
all's fair in love and war?

Sure.

How can you win if you're
not even in the battle?

You're right.

You guys are absolutely right.

Yeah.

Hi, Sherry.

Hi.

Joey, the Captain's been
getting such a kick out of all

this dancing that
he wants to a really

funky disco on the last night.

I could use some help.

Sure, anything you want.

Oh, great.

You could advise me.

Sherry, would you
excuse us just a minute?

Sure.

Thanks.

Joey, I know you're the expert.

I want to make sure that the
sound, the effects, the lights,

everything is perfect.

You know disco and I'm
just [inaudible],, remember.

Well, see we were talking war.

She was talking blitzkrieg.

I'm having fun tonight.

Me, too.

You may not believe
this, but I feel

another emergency coming on.

Where this time?

Right here.

You know, I hate to see
an unhappy Sagittarius.

Oh, well, I happen
to be a Taurus.

No bull?

So you're into astrology,
fate, stars, the karma?

Huh?

I mean, here I'm in this ship.

And here you are.

It couldn't be coincidence.

It had to be planned.

What?

Jason, do you write poetry?

Only when I'm turned
on by someone like you.

Jason, [inaudible].

I am me.

We are they.

Doc?

Yeah.

Can I ask you a sort of
schoolgirl kind of question?

Why not, it's
your school reunion.

Well, you know
all those delicious,

delectable delightful, dreamy
things you said last night?

Uh huh.

Did you mean them?

Absolutely, except for one.

Which one was that?

Well, remember when you
asked me what time it was,

and I said it was 2:00 o'clock?

Mhm.

It was actually 3:00 o'clock.

Well, I can forgive one lie.

Drink it!

I've already had three cups.

That's enough.

It's only coffee.

Precisely.

No more, please.

Drink it.

I won't be able to sleep.

Drink.

Why don't we put a
little something in it?

You know what they say
about the hair of the dog.

Haven't you been
bitten enough?

I'm not in the mood for a
temperance lecture, Merrill.

Next thing you know,
you'll be singing hymns.

Malcolm, you need help.

I need a drink.

What the hell do you know
about it, big expert?

Have you ever wanted
to drink so badly you--

you'd--

Kill for it?

Yes.

10 years ago, when my wife
Stacy and I separated,

I simply couldn't handle
it all, the loneliness,

the rejection, the failure.

I'm familiar with the
symptoms, whatever the source.

So I started to drink,
but not heavily at first.

Don't kid me.

How could you drink and
still be in command?

Well, I didn't
drink while on duty,

so I didn't have
a problem, right?

Wrong.

One evening after a
couple of scotches,

I was driving to the ship.

There in front of me--

I nearly hit a child.

That was when I finally realized
what I was doing with my life.

I sat in the car and cried.

I sat there and cried,
and cried, and cried.

I haven't had a drink since.

Merrill, how?

How?

I just stopped.

You have no alternative.

Unless you don't
want a tomorrow.

SHIP'S ANNOUNCER: The
last launches are now

returning from
Zihuatanejo and the ship

will be sailing in 30 minutes.

Relax.

Relax.

Feel the spiritual
energies flowing

through your spinal cord.

Oh, Jason.
I am.

I really am.

So am I. You're the most
perfect Taurus I ever met.

Oh, Jason.

You're the perfect one.

Come sail with me.

Let's share romance, and in
each other's arms, we'll fly.

If you won't give
my heart a chance,

I'll hold my breath until I die.

Yuck.

Who wrote that?

Oh, Jason.

You're so modest.

Well, now that you've seen the
dance floor, is it big enough?

Oh, sure.

The thing is though
that you got to have

speakers all around the room.

See the sounds got to
hit you from all sides.

Hey, the sound
is going to hit us.

Bomp, bom bow bom bom bomp!

Get down, Julie!

Woo!

You're crazy, girl.

I'm crazy about
a lot of things.

Oh, no, no, that's good.

The Captain was just
saying to me last night,

all the crew should
learn more about

mouth to mouth resuscitation.

[ping pong ball clacking]

Nice shot, Bitsy.

Well, if I win, I hope I
don't have to jump over the net.

Hey, Doc.

How was your date last night?

Bet it was heavy, man.

[laughter]

OK, guys.

Yeah, a whale of a time.

Hey, hey!

Knock it off.

Oh, come on, Doc.

We're just kidding.

Can't you take a
joke from a friend?

All right, one more
fat joke and my friend

ends up with a fat lip.

When are you going to
keep your big mouth shut?

Hey, Gopher,
wait a minute now.

Gopher!

Listen, now wait
a second, Gopher!

Gopher!

Don't blame everything on me.

Wow, see, the tarot cards
say that the queen of cups--

that's you, my sweet
and beautiful-- shall be

united with the king of cups.

That's me.

And the time is now.

Uh, Jason, wait a minute.

Would you please?

I mean, I really don't
know that much about you.

I don't even know what
you do for a living.

Nothing-- work
destroys the karma.

Well then, how did
you pay for this cruise?

Easy, especially
when your old man's

the head of Markham Steel.

The sky's the limit.

Oh, so you're rich.

So you can afford
to buy my ticket.

Oh, I see.

I reimburse you for
your ticket, and then

you'll be my good friend?

OK.

Uh, Jason, you didn't
write me this poem, did you?

Let's stop wasting time
with that stupid junk.

That's right.

I have been wasting my time.

Well, guess it
wasn't in the cards.

Ha, the fool!

Jack, don't shut me out.

What's happening to us?

I don't know.

I thought I ran away from hell.

But I was wrong.

I've still got my
hell to go through.

I got to tell
Mike, face to face.

If it helps any, I love you.

It helps a lot.

[sighs loudly]

Doc?

Good evening.

Yes?

Hi, Doc.

You have a few more
shots about Bitsy

that you forgot to get in?

Uh, Doc, Gopher and I,
we'd like to apologize.

Right.

We went too far,
and we're sorry.

I'm serious, Doc.

We apologize.

Accepted.

See you later.

Doc?

It's none of our
business, but why Bitsy?

Why not Bitsy?

Well, I mean, she's
not the type of--

well, I mean-- well, of all
the girls that you've dated,

Bitsy's kind of--

Kind of not beautiful?

Oh, guys, let me tell
you something about women,

about how I feel about women.

They're all beautiful.

Beauty isn't just looks--

pretty face, perfect body.

That's easy.

Woman doesn't have to be
a centerfold to make me

laugh, to puncture
my wonderful male ego

when I get too big
for my britches,

make me feel happy to be--

just happy to be.

Believe me, Bitsy is a
very beautiful woman.

Come on.

We'll be late for dinner.

[big sigh]

[room chatter]

Almost 24 hours without
a drink, a new record.

You're going to
be fine, Malcolm.

I'm glad you've got faith.

How do you say no
to all that booze?

By simply saying no--

try it.

Let's here you say no.

You care for a drink, Mr. Dwyer?

Thought you'd never ask.

No.

Could I have a better
reading on that, please?

No.

No, I won't drive
the ship for you.

You'll just have to keep doing
it till you get it right.

Captain, I'd like
to introduce you

to a really sensational lady.

How could you pass up
an invitation like that?

Excuse me for a minute.

Captain, Bitsy Sheldon.

Captain Stubing.

My pleasure.

So nice to meet you.

How are you doing
this evening, Mr. Dwyer?

Oh, fine, Isaac, just fine.

You're looking really dapper.

Well, thank you.

I haven't had so much
fun since I had a root

canal and two wisdom teeth
pulled all in the same day

without anesthesia.

[whistles]

To your health, Mr. Dwyer.

You leave me alone, will you?

If I want to drink, I'll drink.

Damn it.

Why?

Why settle for one drink?

Say the word, I'll send a
case down to your cabin.

Stay out of it.

It's my life.

Why don't you throw
yourself overboard?

It'll be a lot quicker.

Pick any rail.

Be my guest.

SHIP'S ANNOUNCER:
The Captain's Big

Farewell Disco is now in
progress on the Riviera Deck.

[disco music playing]

[cheering]

[whistle]

[inaudible]

Good evening.

[inaudible]

Hey, Bitsy?

When you get finished
with this old-timer,

you and I'll get together
and we'll really groove!

Well, tell me.

This is some bad disco, huh?

Mm, you did it, mama.

Well, really, Joey
was responsible.

Well, I know.

But I just didn't
feel as though I was

allowed to bring up his name.

Well, when are you
two going to dance?

Huh?

Hey, hey.

Disco isn't my scene.

But they play a slow polka,
you'll see me really get down.

[laughter]

Hey, Wendy!

We're having a party
here, remember?

I'm really not
in a party mood.

Well, what happened to Ross?

I mean, what happened to Pete?

No, I mean, what
happened to Jason?

And I really mean,
what happened to him?

That's the trouble, Julie.

None of them are him.

Hm?

Do you know that I have wasted
this entire cruise running

around with this dumb poem,
as if it were a glass slipper,

looking for some man to fit it?

You know, it's not
too late to find a guy.

No, not a chance--

I mean, I am nuts.

Mhm.

Do you know why I always
thought that Tom wasn't--

I don't know what I
thought Tom wasn't.

But Ross and Jason and Peter--

they're not for me, either.

I don't know what I want.

Maybe I should have
never broken up with Tom.

Maybe I should have never come.

Maybe you should go
out on that dance floor,

grab a partner, and boogie.

That is an order.

[cheering]

Excuse me.

Malcolm?

Care to join me in
a soda water and lime?

Are you all right?

No, I'm sober.

Come on.

[dance floor chatter]

Hi, Mike.

Jack, Kathy,
isn't this terrific?

Say do you mind
if I take you away

from it for about five minutes?

Huh?

It's important.

Sure.

I'll wait for you here.

No, no, no.

I've [inaudible].

If this is a surprise
birthday party,

you've got the wrong guy.

But I'll go along with it if I
get to keep all the presents.

All right, Jack, what is
so important that you had

to drag me away from
all those girls that

wanted to dance with me, huh?

- Mike.
- Come on.

Don't be embarrassed.

I've had to learn to
live with this thing.

You're my friend.

You'll have to learn, too.

OK.

Mike, I got to
tell you something.

And I'm afraid it's going
to put our friendship

right on the line.

You see, when I was in
college, I got my draft notice.

Didn't we all?

Yeah.

But when I got mine, I
gave it a lot of thought.

And then I made my decision.

I moved to Canada
until the war was over.

I know.

You know?

Your mother told
me in a letter.

But she never said--

I thought if I
confronted you with it,

you'd go through life
with a case of the guilts.

But if you could get the truth
out yourself, from inside,

you'd be rid of that
burden once and for all.

Oh, my God.

I was afraid--

Jack, I've known you
for a lot of years, right?

You did what you did
based on your principles.

I did what I did based
on my principles.

Neither of us were wrong.

We just did what we had to do.

But you're a hero.

I'm not.

No.

Mhm.

It took courage to
do what you did.

Maybe if I would have had
that kind of courage, things--

you took a stand for
what you believed in.

You laid your whole
future right on the line.

I admire you for it.

You're in a wheelchair.

And you're forgiving me.

I am not a saint.

There were times that I was so
bitter I could taste it, Jack.

I hate it.

[yelling] I hate it!

The hate was my real
disability, not this thing.

But I was lucky.

I had love and help from
a lot of terrific people.

Oh, Mike.

I'm so sorry this
had to happen to you.

I am, too.

I'm just damn glad it
didn't happen to both of us.

[disco music playing]

Hey!

We're doing [inaudible].

[cheering]

[applause]

5, 6, 7, 8.

Woo!

Hey!

Are you OK?

Hey, are you OK?

Yeah, I'm fine.

I guess I was just famished.

Listen, Joey.

I need to--

She'll be fine.

But you need some
rest, young lady.

Right.

I'm going to take
you to your cabin.

Come on.

Joey, you need some help?

No, thanks.

I can manage.

Easy.

Doc, she's OK, right?

Oh, yeah, sure.

I mean, it was just the heat
and the excitement, right?

Doc?

She's pregnant, Julie.

Joey doesn't know.

How's Sherry?

She's resting.

Joey, I wanted to--

there are a lot of things I
wanted to talk to you about.

I'm sorry.

I'm the one who
should apologize.

No, I knew that
you two had plans.

And I just threw myself at you.

Well, that's not
quite the way I saw it.

I was scared, Julie, scared
of marriage, being tied down.

And then, seeing you
kind of reminded me

of being in high school
again, playing the field.

[laughs] The thing
is, I guess I'm

not a high school kid anymore.

Hey, none of us are that
high school kid anymore.

And your marriage is not
like walking the last mile,

especially when the lady
you're going to marry

happens to be crazy about you.

Yeah.

I know.

You think I'll be any good at
it, you know, husband, father?

Joey, you're
going to be great.

[laughs] We're still going
to be friends, right?

Well, I was hoping to
be more than just friends.

I wanted to be
friends of the family.

Oh.

Well, come on.

Let's go see Sherry.

OK.

[disco music playing]

[dance floor chatter]

[cheering]

[applause]

Can I have the
house lights, please?

OK, everybody-- before we
get back to the dancing, I have

a little announcement to make.

Now as you know,
Hollywood has its Oscar.

And Haley High has its halo.

[applause]

Everybody's had a chance to
vote, and we've counted it up.

And tonight the
old tarnished halo

is being awarded
to someone whose

popularity and
success has brought

great pride to our school.

And the winner is Ross Randall!

[cheering]

Thank you.

Thank you.

I appreciate the honor.

It should be shared by a man who
believed in me, a man who gave

me the incentive to push ahead.

His dedication to his
profession kind of brought

out the best in all of us.

Now as you know, the
last couple of days

we've been plotting
and planning.

And tonight, I am really proud
to announce that a college

scholarship has been
established in the name

of a unique and very special
man, Mr. Malcolm Dwyer.

[cheering]

I am grateful, and I am--

I'm touched.

I never expected such
a beautiful moment

would ever come my way.

I am very proud to
have been your teacher.

Only one thing could
have made me more proud,

to have been your parent.

That way, instead of having
all of you for just four years,

you would have been
mine for a lifetime.

I-- I--

In the words of the immortal
Malcolm Dwyer, class dismissed.

[applause]

[music playing]

[ship's horn sounding]

Oh, Mike, do you think
that man in Seattle

would really help us?

That's what the
VA's for, Kathy.

Oh, sweetheart,
isn't that wonderful?

Yeah, they'd do a lot for us.

Hey, Isaac.

Great cruise.

- Mike, good luck.
- Good luck?

I've already had my luck.

Jack wants me to head up
personnel at his business.

That's beautiful.

We are going to hire as many
disabled vets as we can.

Aw, that's super.

Best of everything
to all you guys.

We already have the
best of everything.

Come on.

Let's get out of here.

So long, Mike.

Bye.

Bye bye.

"Parting is such
sweet sorrow"--

but it's back to class tomorrow.

Let's keep in touch, Malcolm.

Most certainly-- if Gilbert
and Sullivan write something

new, I'll send you a copy.

Seriously, Merrill, thank you.

Hey.

[SINGING TOGETHER] He's very,
very good and be it understood,

he commands a right good crew.

- Don't call me!
- I know!

I know!

Don't call us.

We'll call you.

Well, Julie, thanks
for everything.

Well, I'm just sorry it
didn't all work out for you.

Wendy?

Tom!

How-- how'd you
enjoy your trip?

Oh.

Well, I had about the worst
time of my whole life.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I guess I shouldn't have
sent you the ticket.

You sent me the ticket?

You sent me the ticket?

And the poem?

The poem-- yeah, I know, the
poem was kind of silly, huh?

Oh, no, no.

The poem was beautiful.

Why did you do it?

Well, I know you had this
romantic notion about meeting

the man of your dreams.

So I figured I'd help you find
him, get it out of your system.

Well, Tom, I found him.

I'm going to never let him go.

Aw!

Oh, these are for you.

I'm going to miss your
warm and wonderful lechery.

Miss?

I've got a little
free time coming up.

Maybe we could get
together this weekend?

Hey, why don't we fly
up to San Francisco?

San Francisco?

Yeah, where little cable cars
climb halfway to the stars?

And they stop at some
of the best restaurants

you've ever eaten at.

You're on.

All right.

Well, that's some
step-- kiss, kiss,

two steps down, kiss, kiss?

Captain, I guess you
don't know that Sherry

and Joey are getting married.

Congratulations!

Now, just because you're
gaining a husband,

it doesn't mean I'm losing
a dance teacher, does it?

Oh, no.

In fact, we want you
to be the first student

in our new disco school.

Well, shall I lead?

[laughter]

Well, Joey, well, I
guess this is goodbye.

Yeah.

Till the next reunion.

Yeah.

Bye bye.

[everyone together] Allagaroo!

Allagari!

Here's the star of Haley High!

Yay!

[cheering]

[THEME - JACK JONES, "THE LOVE
BOAT THEME"]