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1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,295
[theme music]
2
00:00:21,187 --> 00:00:28,945
THEME SONG: Love,
exciting and new.
3
00:00:29,028 --> 00:00:29,779
Come aboard.
4
00:00:33,158 --> 00:00:37,120
We're expecting you.
5
00:00:37,203 --> 00:00:45,003
And love, life's
sweetest reward.
6
00:00:45,086 --> 00:00:48,923
Let it flow.
7
00:00:49,007 --> 00:00:53,344
It floats back to you.
8
00:00:53,428 --> 00:01:01,311
The Love Boat soon will
be making another run.
9
00:01:01,394 --> 00:01:09,194
The Love Boat promises
something for everyone.
10
00:01:09,277 --> 00:01:14,199
Set a course for adventure,
your mind on a new romance.
11
00:01:17,744 --> 00:01:25,168
And love won't hurt anymore.
12
00:01:25,251 --> 00:01:33,676
It's an open smile
on a friendly shore.
13
00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:34,719
It's love.
14
00:01:38,264 --> 00:01:40,683
Welcome aboard, it's love.
15
00:01:48,274 --> 00:01:50,610
[suspenseful music]
16
00:01:53,613 --> 00:01:56,199
[thunder crashing]
17
00:02:01,204 --> 00:02:04,457
[dishes clattering]
18
00:02:04,541 --> 00:02:07,168
[loud chatter]
19
00:02:32,652 --> 00:02:34,863
Mr. Cunningham.
20
00:02:34,946 --> 00:02:38,408
Mr. Cunningham, we're
really getting it now.
21
00:02:38,491 --> 00:02:40,243
Get on the stick, do something.
22
00:02:40,326 --> 00:02:47,375
Does marinara stain
Dacron and cotton polyester?
23
00:02:52,630 --> 00:02:54,757
Chuck, give word to
the rest of the crew.
24
00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:57,135
Batten everything down.
25
00:02:57,218 --> 00:03:01,347
Close all the bars, close the
Acapulco lounge and the casino.
26
00:03:01,431 --> 00:03:02,098
Drain the pool.
27
00:03:02,181 --> 00:03:02,765
Secure everything that moves.
28
00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:05,101
Hey, forget about him.
29
00:03:05,184 --> 00:03:10,023
Do as I tell you to do, or let's
choose sides for water polo.
30
00:03:10,106 --> 00:03:11,733
Um, ladies and gentlemen.
31
00:03:11,816 --> 00:03:15,278
Listen, everybody.
32
00:03:15,361 --> 00:03:17,322
Ladies and gentlemen.
33
00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:23,077
Hi there.
34
00:03:23,161 --> 00:03:28,124
Um, my name is Isaac
Washington, and I'm the--
35
00:03:28,207 --> 00:03:30,627
uh-- I'm the--
36
00:03:30,710 --> 00:03:32,712
I'm the chief
bartender of this ship.
37
00:03:36,215 --> 00:03:37,467
I don't know if
any of you noticed,
38
00:03:37,550 --> 00:03:40,470
but we seem to have run
into a bit of bad weather.
39
00:03:40,553 --> 00:03:44,682
Well, actually, it's more than
a bit, but less than a bunch.
40
00:03:44,766 --> 00:03:45,308
OK?
41
00:03:45,391 --> 00:03:46,643
So everybody, come on.
42
00:03:46,726 --> 00:03:47,810
Nice and easy.
43
00:03:47,894 --> 00:03:49,729
Back to your cabins,
let's go. all right?
44
00:03:49,812 --> 00:03:52,774
[passengers grumbling]
45
00:03:53,733 --> 00:03:55,526
Mr. Cunningham.
46
00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:57,946
A little bleach and
it'll be as good as new.
47
00:03:58,029 --> 00:04:01,366
[suspenseful music]
48
00:04:30,853 --> 00:04:32,438
[thunder crashing]
49
00:04:36,985 --> 00:04:40,571
Well, everything seems to
be holding together so far.
50
00:04:40,655 --> 00:04:44,617
I sure don't build
'em like I used to.
51
00:04:44,701 --> 00:04:45,952
Oh.
52
00:04:46,035 --> 00:04:46,619
Oh, Mau.
53
00:04:46,703 --> 00:04:48,121
Remember our first place?
54
00:04:48,204 --> 00:04:50,957
Every time the guy
upstairs had a shower,
55
00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:53,793
we had a shower on
the kitchen table.
56
00:04:53,876 --> 00:04:56,045
You always said
your eggs were runny.
57
00:05:03,678 --> 00:05:06,764
You know, where I'm thinking
of going on my vacation?
58
00:05:06,848 --> 00:05:08,850
South of France.
59
00:05:08,933 --> 00:05:10,143
I'd rather go to the north.
60
00:05:10,226 --> 00:05:13,104
What's the attraction
in the north?
61
00:05:13,187 --> 00:05:16,399
You'd be in the south.
62
00:05:16,482 --> 00:05:20,820
I have a whole shell full
of fresh rainwater here.
63
00:05:20,903 --> 00:05:22,530
Terrific.
64
00:05:22,613 --> 00:05:27,577
We can wash our hair and
not leave a scaly deposit.
65
00:05:27,660 --> 00:05:28,327
I'll have a drink.
66
00:05:32,331 --> 00:05:33,750
[thunder crashing]
67
00:05:33,833 --> 00:05:34,751
[cracking]
- Ah!
68
00:05:34,834 --> 00:05:36,085
What's that?
69
00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:38,463
It sounds like a hunk
of the roof just blew off.
70
00:05:38,546 --> 00:05:39,756
I think you're right.
71
00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:41,132
Check it out, Mr. Smith.
72
00:05:41,215 --> 00:05:42,216
Check it out?
73
00:05:42,300 --> 00:05:44,260
Outside in the hurricane?
74
00:05:44,343 --> 00:05:46,012
Gopher, you're not gonna melt.
75
00:05:46,095 --> 00:05:48,264
Well, why don't we
draw straws or something?
76
00:05:48,347 --> 00:05:50,600
Gopher, for heaven's sake.
77
00:05:50,683 --> 00:05:51,476
GOPHER: OK, I'll check it out.
78
00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:58,399
[suspenseful music]
79
00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:18,377
[cracking]
80
00:06:18,461 --> 00:06:19,420
[yelling]
81
00:06:22,298 --> 00:06:23,132
Gopher!
82
00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:23,925
Ah!
83
00:06:24,008 --> 00:06:25,176
Stop, don't touch him!
84
00:06:25,259 --> 00:06:26,719
Don't touch him!
85
00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:28,554
Let's get the tree off him.
86
00:06:28,638 --> 00:06:30,014
He's under a tree,
for crying out loud!
87
00:06:30,098 --> 00:06:30,765
Somebody help!
88
00:06:30,848 --> 00:06:32,058
All right, get out of the way!
89
00:06:32,141 --> 00:06:34,060
Come on!
90
00:06:34,143 --> 00:06:36,479
[grunting]
91
00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:41,275
OK, get him inside.
92
00:06:41,359 --> 00:06:41,984
Watch out.
93
00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:42,693
I got him, I got him.
94
00:06:42,777 --> 00:06:44,654
Get him in the hut.
Careful.
95
00:06:44,737 --> 00:06:45,655
Let's get him inside.
That's it.
96
00:06:45,738 --> 00:06:46,447
Careful.
97
00:06:50,201 --> 00:06:55,623
Mr. Crothers, do you
know what you just did?
98
00:06:55,706 --> 00:06:56,541
Yeah.
99
00:06:56,624 --> 00:06:59,001
I dropped my gun, didn't I?
100
00:06:59,085 --> 00:07:02,421
[music playing]
101
00:07:27,488 --> 00:07:28,656
He's got a hell
of a concussion.
102
00:07:28,739 --> 00:07:33,286
There's really nothing we
can do for him at this point.
103
00:07:33,369 --> 00:07:36,330
Thank god, I think he
hasn't gone into shock.
104
00:07:36,414 --> 00:07:39,876
I was so mean to him.
105
00:07:39,959 --> 00:07:42,712
He could die.
106
00:07:42,795 --> 00:07:44,505
He's not gonna die, Julie.
107
00:07:44,589 --> 00:07:45,923
He's gonna be OK.
108
00:07:49,093 --> 00:07:51,929
He's gonna be OK.
109
00:07:52,013 --> 00:07:54,515
What a vacation.
110
00:07:54,599 --> 00:07:56,392
Aw, Cheryl.
111
00:07:56,475 --> 00:07:57,727
[chuckling]
112
00:07:57,810 --> 00:07:59,437
Don't do that.
113
00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:00,813
That tickles.
114
00:08:00,897 --> 00:08:02,398
Gopher.
115
00:08:02,481 --> 00:08:04,483
Can you hear me?
116
00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:07,612
Is that you, Jackie?
117
00:08:07,695 --> 00:08:09,530
No, it's Julie.
118
00:08:09,614 --> 00:08:13,409
Doc, he's talking!
119
00:08:13,492 --> 00:08:16,412
Thank god he's OK.
120
00:08:16,495 --> 00:08:22,001
Kate, give my
regards to Farrah.
121
00:08:22,084 --> 00:08:25,296
Doc, he's hallucinating.
122
00:08:25,379 --> 00:08:26,088
Maybe not.
123
00:08:26,172 --> 00:08:29,091
I have that same
dream sometimes.
124
00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:31,761
Keep a close eye on him.
125
00:08:31,844 --> 00:08:32,970
Don't worry, I will.
126
00:08:38,434 --> 00:08:38,935
Gopher.
127
00:08:39,018 --> 00:08:40,853
Farrah.
128
00:08:40,937 --> 00:08:43,940
It is you.
129
00:08:44,023 --> 00:08:46,609
Why don't you get out
of that wet T-shirt?
130
00:08:59,038 --> 00:09:02,124
Ms. Atwood, you're
so quiet, dear.
131
00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:04,043
Are you all right?
132
00:09:04,126 --> 00:09:06,045
Sure, I'm terrific.
133
00:09:06,128 --> 00:09:10,591
I was just thinking of sending
some postcards to my enemies.
134
00:09:10,675 --> 00:09:11,634
Having a wonderful time.
135
00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:13,219
Wish you were here.
136
00:09:13,302 --> 00:09:16,013
Oh, I'm sure you
don't have any enemies.
137
00:09:19,183 --> 00:09:20,935
How about just
leaving me alone?
138
00:09:21,018 --> 00:09:24,772
All right?
139
00:09:24,855 --> 00:09:24,897
All right.
140
00:09:31,946 --> 00:09:34,156
Why don't you stop
feeling sorry for yourself
141
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:36,242
just long enough to think
about somebody else?
142
00:09:46,002 --> 00:09:46,586
Don't worry, Fluffem.
143
00:09:46,669 --> 00:09:48,921
We'll get out of this OK.
144
00:09:49,005 --> 00:09:50,840
Oh, who cares?
145
00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:52,091
What do you mean?
146
00:09:52,174 --> 00:09:53,759
I mean, who cares!
147
00:09:53,843 --> 00:09:57,930
What does it matter if the
hurricane kills me overnight,
148
00:09:58,014 --> 00:09:59,181
or I go back to the life I have?
149
00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:06,022
A slow, boring death day by day.
150
00:10:06,105 --> 00:10:08,274
You really hate me that much?
151
00:10:08,357 --> 00:10:09,608
I don't hate you.
152
00:10:09,692 --> 00:10:15,489
Like I said, I just
don't care anymore.
153
00:10:15,573 --> 00:10:18,659
We've enjoyed a lot of years.
154
00:10:18,743 --> 00:10:19,994
We belong together.
155
00:10:20,077 --> 00:10:23,372
Maybe once.
156
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:25,875
Mo, I love you.
157
00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:29,253
Those are just words, Everett.
158
00:10:29,337 --> 00:10:31,714
[crying]
159
00:10:31,797 --> 00:10:33,341
I want what every woman wants.
160
00:10:33,424 --> 00:10:38,387
I want to be held, touched.
161
00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:40,639
To be swept off my feet.
162
00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:41,932
I want a man.
163
00:10:42,016 --> 00:10:44,393
A real man.
164
00:10:48,981 --> 00:10:51,734
Hey.
165
00:10:51,817 --> 00:10:53,903
You're looking at a real man.
166
00:10:53,986 --> 00:10:56,947
Yeah, a man that drives
other women crazy.
167
00:10:57,031 --> 00:10:59,492
[crying]
168
00:10:59,575 --> 00:10:59,825
What, you don't believe me?
169
00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:07,083
Well, maybe you ought
to check with Diana.
170
00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:09,168
Oh, Diana, sure.
171
00:11:09,251 --> 00:11:10,920
Diana.
172
00:11:11,003 --> 00:11:14,090
That was her real name.
173
00:11:14,173 --> 00:11:18,928
Her professional name was
Red Ginger the Wam-Wam Girl.
174
00:11:19,011 --> 00:11:20,012
Bada boom!
175
00:11:20,096 --> 00:11:22,264
Ha!
176
00:11:22,348 --> 00:11:27,686
I was sitting at ringside, and
she tossed her tassel to me.
177
00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:31,190
And we both knew it was kismet.
178
00:11:31,273 --> 00:11:33,526
[purring]
179
00:11:35,027 --> 00:11:36,862
Ah.
180
00:11:36,946 --> 00:11:42,910
One always remembers his
first mistress very fondly.
181
00:11:42,993 --> 00:11:43,702
Your first?
182
00:11:46,872 --> 00:11:50,209
How many others?
183
00:11:50,292 --> 00:11:53,129
How many times did
I report seeing UFOs?
184
00:11:53,212 --> 00:11:58,551
Why-- you--
185
00:12:02,221 --> 00:12:06,517
[music playing]
186
00:12:11,188 --> 00:12:13,524
[knocking]
187
00:12:14,525 --> 00:12:15,317
[thunder crashing]
188
00:12:15,401 --> 00:12:17,486
- Hi.
- Hi.
189
00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:18,404
You all right?
190
00:12:18,487 --> 00:12:19,488
Yeah, I think so.
191
00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:20,364
Can I, uh, come in?
192
00:12:20,448 --> 00:12:21,282
Sure.
193
00:12:21,365 --> 00:12:21,866
Whoa.
194
00:12:21,949 --> 00:12:23,033
Do you believe this?
195
00:12:23,117 --> 00:12:25,202
[LAUGHING] No.
196
00:12:25,286 --> 00:12:25,661
How's your mother?
197
00:12:25,744 --> 00:12:27,413
Oh, she's fine.
198
00:12:27,496 --> 00:12:29,874
Up $50.
199
00:12:29,957 --> 00:12:30,750
Listen, you know, I
told her about you.
200
00:12:30,833 --> 00:12:32,668
She had a lot of questions.
- Oh?
201
00:12:32,751 --> 00:12:33,836
Yeah.
202
00:12:33,919 --> 00:12:35,629
If you play poker, you play
pinochle, you play gin.
203
00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:37,423
Might be I'm gonna
like your mother.
204
00:12:37,506 --> 00:12:38,424
Yeah, well you--
205
00:12:38,507 --> 00:12:39,175
Oh!
206
00:12:39,258 --> 00:12:40,718
[laughing]
207
00:12:41,469 --> 00:12:43,471
Mother nature's
not bad either.
208
00:12:50,478 --> 00:12:52,021
Pierre?
209
00:12:52,104 --> 00:12:53,981
Pierre!
210
00:12:54,064 --> 00:12:55,065
[FRENCH ACCENT] Ha-ha!
211
00:12:55,149 --> 00:12:57,860
Good to see you again, eh?
212
00:12:57,943 --> 00:13:00,529
Ah, the restaurant,
it goes well, huh?
213
00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:02,531
Ah, fantastique!
214
00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:05,534
It sounds like you made
it to the south of France.
215
00:13:05,618 --> 00:13:07,203
[FRENCH ACCENT]
A little champagne
216
00:13:07,286 --> 00:13:09,663
to start, but of course.
217
00:13:09,747 --> 00:13:15,920
And then I think the foie
gras, the coquille St. Jaques.
218
00:13:16,003 --> 00:13:21,342
Et pour le dessert,
souffle au chocolat.
219
00:13:21,425 --> 00:13:22,760
Get him.
220
00:13:22,843 --> 00:13:25,012
This is the guy who thinks
a Big Mac is a gourmet dish.
221
00:13:29,850 --> 00:13:33,103
Mr. Crothers, can
I ask you a question?
222
00:13:33,187 --> 00:13:37,233
What's a good looking guy like
me doing in a place like this?
223
00:13:37,316 --> 00:13:40,694
Well, the thought
had crossed my mind.
224
00:13:40,778 --> 00:13:42,571
Oh, well.
225
00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:43,948
It's the usual reason.
226
00:13:44,031 --> 00:13:44,907
A busted marriage.
227
00:13:44,990 --> 00:13:48,577
You know what I did
after she left me?
228
00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:50,246
I got a job at Disneyland.
229
00:13:50,329 --> 00:13:52,081
Oh.
230
00:13:52,164 --> 00:13:53,582
I was Humpty Dumpty.
231
00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:54,667
Humpty Dumpty!
232
00:13:54,750 --> 00:13:55,709
Yeah.
233
00:13:55,793 --> 00:13:57,586
Every afternoon I dressed
up like a big egg.
234
00:13:57,670 --> 00:13:59,255
[laughing]
235
00:13:59,338 --> 00:14:00,923
You know what finally got me?
236
00:14:01,006 --> 00:14:02,758
The mice.
237
00:14:02,841 --> 00:14:04,927
There was this great
big one with dumb ears.
238
00:14:05,010 --> 00:14:10,307
He had on red pants and,
uh, two great big buttons.
239
00:14:10,391 --> 00:14:12,434
You know what?
240
00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:13,310
The son of a gun was the star.
241
00:14:13,394 --> 00:14:15,813
- Oh no.
- Yeah.
242
00:14:15,896 --> 00:14:16,647
Can you beat that?
243
00:14:16,730 --> 00:14:17,398
No.
244
00:14:17,481 --> 00:14:18,357
The star!
245
00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:19,525
Eh.
246
00:14:19,608 --> 00:14:22,278
I said, if that's
life, he can have it.
247
00:14:22,361 --> 00:14:26,782
I said, the hell with 'em and
the horse they rode in on.
248
00:14:26,865 --> 00:14:29,410
And I came right to this island.
249
00:14:29,493 --> 00:14:31,704
Well, I can't say
I blame you a bit.
250
00:14:31,787 --> 00:14:35,291
That's the most
compelling reason I ever
251
00:14:35,374 --> 00:14:37,459
heard for becoming a hermit.
252
00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:39,461
[laughing]
253
00:14:39,545 --> 00:14:42,298
Yeah, yeah.
254
00:14:42,381 --> 00:14:47,553
Well, it's quiet and
peaceful-- uh, usually.
255
00:14:50,180 --> 00:14:53,601
And there's no mice to speak
of-- uh, that's at least none
256
00:14:53,684 --> 00:14:53,934
that think they're Clark Gable.
257
00:14:57,646 --> 00:15:00,566
But, uh, well, it
has its drawbacks.
258
00:15:00,649 --> 00:15:01,066
See, I don't like cooking.
259
00:15:01,150 --> 00:15:02,818
Aw.
260
00:15:02,901 --> 00:15:04,028
Hate it.
261
00:15:04,111 --> 00:15:08,073
And you already know how I
feel about no birthday parties.
262
00:15:08,157 --> 00:15:10,492
Oh, yes, but the
island is so beautiful.
263
00:15:10,576 --> 00:15:12,077
You must love it here.
264
00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:13,787
Well, yeah, the days are OK.
265
00:15:13,871 --> 00:15:20,836
But sometimes at night I'd
give anything for the sound
266
00:15:20,919 --> 00:15:24,965
of a sympathetic human voice.
267
00:15:25,049 --> 00:15:28,427
A sexy, sympathetic
female voice.
268
00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:35,142
Like yours.
269
00:15:35,225 --> 00:15:35,267
Like mine?
270
00:15:39,938 --> 00:15:42,858
You're one heck of
a dish, you know that?
271
00:15:42,941 --> 00:15:48,947
Oh, well, maybe
I used to be, but.
272
00:15:49,031 --> 00:15:51,200
You still are, believe me.
273
00:15:51,283 --> 00:15:54,662
Did you ever give any thought
to having a fling with a hermit?
274
00:15:57,456 --> 00:15:59,667
Could you learn to love
a semi-crazy guy like me?
275
00:16:03,337 --> 00:16:06,131
Oh, Mr. Crothers.
276
00:16:06,215 --> 00:16:12,179
If you-- if you only
knew how much I want to.
277
00:16:12,262 --> 00:16:17,017
But-- but I can't.
278
00:16:17,101 --> 00:16:17,768
Ah, well.
279
00:16:17,851 --> 00:16:21,605
It, uh-- it was a dumb idea.
280
00:16:21,689 --> 00:16:25,734
Oh, no, no, it wasn't
a dumb idea at all.
281
00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:29,154
[suspenseful music]
282
00:16:29,613 --> 00:16:32,116
[screaming]
283
00:16:45,170 --> 00:16:47,047
Don't panic.
284
00:16:47,131 --> 00:16:48,090
And everybody stay calm.
285
00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:55,139
These braces are still holding.
286
00:16:55,222 --> 00:16:56,598
Captain Stubing.
287
00:16:56,682 --> 00:17:00,644
I think we'd all feel a
little better if-- well,
288
00:17:00,728 --> 00:17:04,022
would you say a
little prayer for us?
289
00:17:04,106 --> 00:17:06,275
Yes, I'd like to
do that very much.
290
00:17:09,361 --> 00:17:13,782
Dear Lord, nine of
your children are
291
00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:17,953
very frightened on this island.
292
00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:22,958
But we know that you are with
us and watching over us and
293
00:17:23,041 --> 00:17:28,338
protecting us from this storm.
294
00:17:28,422 --> 00:17:36,472
Life is your most precious
gift, and we pray that all of us
295
00:17:36,555 --> 00:17:40,684
will be enjoying it
when morning comes.
296
00:17:40,768 --> 00:17:44,354
Mention the party.
297
00:17:44,438 --> 00:17:45,856
What?
298
00:17:45,939 --> 00:17:50,068
Say something about the party,
and-- and how we all hope that
299
00:17:50,152 --> 00:17:53,155
everyone has a-- a--
a good time, and that
300
00:17:53,238 --> 00:17:53,781
I get the Vicky that I--
301
00:17:53,864 --> 00:17:56,074
I really, really want.
302
00:17:59,036 --> 00:18:01,997
It's all right,
Captain Stubing.
303
00:18:02,080 --> 00:18:05,751
God won't mind.
304
00:18:05,834 --> 00:18:09,379
Don't forget the Tinkertoys.
305
00:18:09,463 --> 00:18:11,882
All right.
306
00:18:11,965 --> 00:18:17,596
I'll mention the party, but I
draw the line at Tinkertoys.
307
00:18:17,679 --> 00:18:20,307
Oh, that's fair.
308
00:18:26,146 --> 00:18:33,403
We ask that you bless
Dave's birthday party.
309
00:18:36,156 --> 00:18:36,907
Thanks a million.
310
00:18:39,868 --> 00:18:40,911
Amen.
311
00:18:40,994 --> 00:18:41,703
Amen.
312
00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:46,625
[groaning]
313
00:18:46,708 --> 00:18:48,752
Doc, he's in pain.
314
00:18:48,836 --> 00:18:52,714
[ITALIAN ACCENT]
Rosanna, don't do that.
315
00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:55,759
If he's in pain,
he's sure enjoying it.
316
00:18:55,843 --> 00:18:56,927
[ITALIAN ACCENT] Sophia.
317
00:18:57,010 --> 00:19:01,098
Sophia, of course
you can bite my ear.
318
00:19:01,181 --> 00:19:02,558
That's what ears are for.
319
00:19:02,641 --> 00:19:05,352
Rosanna, Sophia.
320
00:19:05,435 --> 00:19:09,439
Sounds like he got bored with
France and took off for Italy.
321
00:19:09,523 --> 00:19:12,818
[ITALIAN ACCENT] [inaudible]
dancing the night away.
322
00:19:12,901 --> 00:19:17,155
And later-- later--
323
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:20,868
Boy, he's got all the luck.
324
00:19:20,951 --> 00:19:23,328
How come trees don't fall on me?
325
00:19:37,259 --> 00:19:37,968
Thanks.
326
00:19:41,847 --> 00:19:42,806
Here, let me do that.
327
00:19:42,890 --> 00:19:44,516
No, I'm OK.
328
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:45,475
Yeah, sure you are.
329
00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:52,107
I bet you make a
pretty good doctor.
330
00:19:52,190 --> 00:19:54,860
Well, I haven't
lost a patient yet.
331
00:19:54,943 --> 00:19:59,448
See, I usually hang a
bell around their necks.
332
00:19:59,531 --> 00:20:01,283
Always the jokes, right?
333
00:20:01,366 --> 00:20:04,870
Well, they help
make life bearable.
334
00:20:04,953 --> 00:20:07,873
What do you do to
make life bearable?
335
00:20:07,956 --> 00:20:08,624
Behave like a spoiled brat.
336
00:20:08,707 --> 00:20:10,626
Yeah.
337
00:20:10,709 --> 00:20:13,337
I'm good at it, I've
had a lot of practice.
338
00:20:13,420 --> 00:20:14,463
Why don't you try the jokes?
339
00:20:14,546 --> 00:20:16,340
You know, change of pace.
340
00:20:19,927 --> 00:20:24,806
I think I've got something.
341
00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:26,934
I think you just started.
342
00:20:32,940 --> 00:20:36,276
[music playing]
343
00:20:50,374 --> 00:20:51,041
Captain Cunningham?
344
00:20:51,124 --> 00:20:51,500
Isaac Washington.
345
00:20:51,583 --> 00:20:52,334
Good news?
346
00:20:56,004 --> 00:20:58,548
Uh, sir, getting the
stain out of your jacket
347
00:20:58,632 --> 00:21:01,468
isn't the kind of good
news I was hoping for.
348
00:21:01,551 --> 00:21:01,593
What about the captain?
349
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:10,018
Um, sir, I think that we should
have the Mexican authorities
350
00:21:10,102 --> 00:21:12,270
send a boat out to all
the uninhabited islands
351
00:21:12,354 --> 00:21:15,524
around Cabo San Lucas.
352
00:21:15,607 --> 00:21:17,317
Yes, sir.
353
00:21:17,401 --> 00:21:19,528
I'm glad you
thought of that too.
354
00:21:19,611 --> 00:21:29,121
Thank you.
355
00:21:29,121 --> 00:21:30,872
I couldn't believe last night.
356
00:21:30,956 --> 00:21:33,875
Felt like the ship was
going to turn upside down.
357
00:21:33,959 --> 00:21:36,878
Hmm, that was some storm.
358
00:21:36,962 --> 00:21:37,462
Was there a storm too?
359
00:21:42,592 --> 00:21:49,266
Listen, uh-- you want to
see your mother this morning?
360
00:21:49,349 --> 00:21:50,892
No, I don't think so.
361
00:21:50,976 --> 00:21:52,019
Why not?
362
00:21:52,102 --> 00:21:53,895
Well, since this
cruise began, it
363
00:21:53,979 --> 00:21:54,813
seemed the cards were
stacked against my mother
364
00:21:54,896 --> 00:21:57,941
and me ever meeting.
365
00:21:58,025 --> 00:21:59,651
I don't know if there is
any such thing as fate,
366
00:21:59,735 --> 00:22:03,572
but I've got what I want now.
367
00:22:03,655 --> 00:22:04,740
I don't think I'll
press my luck.
368
00:22:09,745 --> 00:22:11,663
Good morning.
369
00:22:11,747 --> 00:22:12,748
Would you like some company?
370
00:22:12,831 --> 00:22:14,583
Well, it's my mother,
Jimmy the Greek.
371
00:22:14,666 --> 00:22:17,002
Hi, Mom.
372
00:22:17,085 --> 00:22:18,503
What happened, did
you clean out everyone
373
00:22:18,587 --> 00:22:19,921
or did you wear out the cards?
374
00:22:20,005 --> 00:22:21,757
[LAUGHING] Oh.
375
00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:22,716
Oh, I'm sorry.
376
00:22:22,799 --> 00:22:25,969
Uh, Jeannie, this is my mother.
377
00:22:26,053 --> 00:22:26,803
Hello.
378
00:22:26,887 --> 00:22:30,057
Mike's told me so
much about you.
379
00:22:30,140 --> 00:22:33,226
Well, I haven't seen
Mike for a few days,
380
00:22:33,310 --> 00:22:35,312
but I can understand why.
381
00:22:35,395 --> 00:22:38,398
How could I possibly
compete with such a--
382
00:22:38,482 --> 00:22:40,192
such a beautiful girl?
383
00:22:40,275 --> 00:22:42,652
Well, how am I
supposed to compete
384
00:22:42,736 --> 00:22:43,779
with the gin rummy gang?
385
00:22:43,862 --> 00:22:44,988
Excuse me.
386
00:22:45,072 --> 00:22:46,448
Here's the 10 bucks I owe you.
387
00:22:46,531 --> 00:22:47,741
And do me a favor.
388
00:22:47,824 --> 00:22:49,993
Next time you want to
play gin, deal me out.
389
00:22:50,077 --> 00:22:51,369
OK, Mrs. Simpson?
390
00:22:51,453 --> 00:22:53,413
VERA: Thank you, but
you might win it back.
391
00:22:53,497 --> 00:22:53,872
WALLY: [LAUGHING] Yeah.
392
00:22:53,955 --> 00:22:55,665
Mrs. Simpson?
393
00:22:55,749 --> 00:22:57,125
Yes?
394
00:22:57,209 --> 00:22:58,085
Oh, uh, I didn't explain.
395
00:22:58,168 --> 00:23:02,798
Mike Adler is my stage name.
396
00:23:02,881 --> 00:23:03,757
Vera Simpson?
397
00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:05,384
Yes, but--
398
00:23:09,012 --> 00:23:12,516
Jeannie, what--
399
00:23:12,599 --> 00:23:13,809
What's wrong?
400
00:23:13,892 --> 00:23:16,603
I don't know.
401
00:23:16,686 --> 00:23:20,857
I mean, the only thing that's
been bothering her is--
402
00:23:20,941 --> 00:23:23,944
well, see, Jeannie grew
up in an orphanage.
403
00:23:24,027 --> 00:23:26,988
She hired detectives to help
her track down her mother.
404
00:23:27,072 --> 00:23:29,032
In fact, her mother's
supposed to be on this ship.
405
00:23:36,456 --> 00:23:39,167
You?
406
00:23:39,251 --> 00:23:42,838
Do you know
where she was born?
407
00:23:42,921 --> 00:23:47,843
Uh-- Omaha, I think.
408
00:23:47,926 --> 00:23:50,303
Oh, dear Lord!
409
00:23:56,935 --> 00:24:01,273
[music playing]
410
00:24:42,147 --> 00:24:42,731
Everett?
411
00:24:42,814 --> 00:24:43,899
Hmm?
412
00:24:43,982 --> 00:24:45,650
Everett.
413
00:24:45,734 --> 00:24:46,401
Yeah.
414
00:24:46,484 --> 00:24:47,611
Hmm?
415
00:24:47,694 --> 00:24:49,654
Everett, look.
416
00:24:49,738 --> 00:24:50,655
Go ahead.
417
00:24:50,739 --> 00:24:53,658
What?
418
00:24:53,742 --> 00:24:56,578
What?
419
00:24:56,661 --> 00:24:57,495
Do you see what I see?
420
00:25:01,958 --> 00:25:03,168
There's a real man.
421
00:25:27,525 --> 00:25:29,194
It's over.
422
00:25:29,277 --> 00:25:32,113
The storm is over.
423
00:25:32,197 --> 00:25:32,739
Oh, good.
424
00:25:44,918 --> 00:25:46,461
Hi, Nurse.
425
00:25:46,544 --> 00:25:47,379
Hi, Doctor.
426
00:25:49,047 --> 00:25:52,467
You know what?
427
00:25:52,550 --> 00:25:55,303
I think he's just sleeping now.
428
00:25:55,387 --> 00:25:56,888
I think you're right.
429
00:25:56,972 --> 00:25:58,014
Gopher?
430
00:25:58,098 --> 00:25:58,807
Gopher?
431
00:26:04,437 --> 00:26:07,315
Doc?
432
00:26:07,399 --> 00:26:10,485
Good morning, friend.
433
00:26:10,568 --> 00:26:11,319
What happened?
434
00:26:14,072 --> 00:26:15,407
How'd you like your vacation?
435
00:26:15,490 --> 00:26:16,032
It must have been great.
436
00:26:16,116 --> 00:26:20,453
I sure have a hangover.
437
00:26:20,537 --> 00:26:22,455
You were hit by a tree.
438
00:26:22,539 --> 00:26:26,084
It feels like I
was hit by a house.
439
00:26:26,167 --> 00:26:28,420
That almost happened too.
440
00:26:28,503 --> 00:26:30,672
You slept through most
of the fun, Mr. Smith.
441
00:26:32,590 --> 00:26:35,093
I always miss all
the good parties.
442
00:26:38,596 --> 00:26:41,558
Gopher, I'm so glad
you're feeling better.
443
00:26:41,641 --> 00:26:45,520
All those terrible
things I said to you.
444
00:26:45,603 --> 00:26:46,229
If you hadn't gotten
better, I never would have
445
00:26:46,313 --> 00:26:49,190
been able to forgive myself.
446
00:26:49,274 --> 00:26:49,983
Really?
447
00:26:55,989 --> 00:26:56,865
Oh!
448
00:26:56,948 --> 00:26:59,492
[laughing]
449
00:27:00,869 --> 00:27:01,703
Oh!
450
00:27:01,786 --> 00:27:06,082
Oh, thank goodness
you're all right.
451
00:27:06,166 --> 00:27:06,875
DAVID: You're looking great.
452
00:27:10,045 --> 00:27:11,421
Mr. Crothers.
453
00:27:11,504 --> 00:27:12,213
Yeah?
454
00:27:12,297 --> 00:27:14,883
Do you know what today is?
455
00:27:14,966 --> 00:27:17,719
Uh-- Monday?
456
00:27:17,802 --> 00:27:20,889
Come on, what else?
457
00:27:20,972 --> 00:27:22,307
I don't know.
458
00:27:22,390 --> 00:27:24,225
It's your birthday!
459
00:27:24,309 --> 00:27:25,727
[laughing]
460
00:27:25,810 --> 00:27:28,563
It's my birthday?
461
00:27:28,646 --> 00:27:31,232
Who told you?
462
00:27:31,316 --> 00:27:32,609
It's party day.
463
00:27:32,692 --> 00:27:35,653
It is party-- well, I'm
ready for the big surprise.
464
00:27:35,737 --> 00:27:39,324
Now, let's hear it
for the birthday boy.
465
00:27:39,407 --> 00:27:40,367
Happy birthday!
466
00:27:45,705 --> 00:27:48,833
I'm just gonna go
on about my business
467
00:27:48,917 --> 00:27:52,337
as though I didn't know any
of you people were here.
468
00:27:52,420 --> 00:27:54,297
Boy, this is gonna be fun.
469
00:27:58,676 --> 00:28:00,387
We've gotta get
that gun away from him
470
00:28:00,470 --> 00:28:01,805
and then signal
for search parties.
471
00:28:01,888 --> 00:28:03,765
Well, there's already a
bunch of rocks on the beach
472
00:28:03,848 --> 00:28:05,433
arranged to say help.
473
00:28:05,517 --> 00:28:08,103
How did they get there?
474
00:28:08,186 --> 00:28:10,563
When the storm died
down, I put them there.
475
00:28:10,647 --> 00:28:11,439
You did?
476
00:28:11,523 --> 00:28:13,024
Well, while you
were up and around,
477
00:28:13,108 --> 00:28:16,694
why didn't you take that
musket away from the nut?
478
00:28:16,778 --> 00:28:17,570
I did.
479
00:28:17,654 --> 00:28:18,738
You did?
480
00:28:18,822 --> 00:28:20,281
And you gave it back to him?
481
00:28:20,365 --> 00:28:21,616
Sure.
482
00:28:21,699 --> 00:28:23,451
There weren't any bullets in it.
483
00:28:23,535 --> 00:28:24,119
Just dirt.
484
00:28:24,202 --> 00:28:27,122
Dirt.
485
00:28:27,205 --> 00:28:27,914
Dirt!
486
00:28:33,545 --> 00:28:35,588
Mr. Crothers!
487
00:28:35,672 --> 00:28:40,218
Mr. Crothers, wherever
you are, you get
488
00:28:40,301 --> 00:28:42,220
yourself out there right now!
489
00:28:42,303 --> 00:28:43,596
What a surprise.
490
00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:44,597
My birthday!
491
00:28:44,681 --> 00:28:45,682
I'd forgotten all about it.
492
00:28:45,765 --> 00:28:49,310
There isn't going to
be a birthday party.
493
00:28:49,394 --> 00:28:51,354
Don't you know who
you're dealing with here?
494
00:28:51,438 --> 00:28:53,106
A maniac with a gun.
495
00:28:53,189 --> 00:28:54,691
Sure.
496
00:28:54,774 --> 00:28:56,443
A gun that has
dirt bullets in it.
497
00:28:59,946 --> 00:29:01,156
Stay where you are--
498
00:29:01,239 --> 00:29:02,657
or I'm gonna get you all dirty.
499
00:29:02,740 --> 00:29:06,828
As soon as we are
safely back on ship,
500
00:29:06,911 --> 00:29:09,956
I am alerting the
maritime authorities.
501
00:29:10,039 --> 00:29:12,417
You'll be spending the rest
of your life in prison.
502
00:29:12,500 --> 00:29:13,334
Aw, come on.
503
00:29:13,418 --> 00:29:16,963
I didn't do anything
really bad, did I?
504
00:29:17,046 --> 00:29:18,089
Kidnapping, piracy.
505
00:29:18,173 --> 00:29:20,258
Besides those.
506
00:29:20,341 --> 00:29:22,218
Look, I'll make a deal with you.
507
00:29:22,302 --> 00:29:24,679
No butter brickle ice cream.
508
00:29:24,762 --> 00:29:27,390
Just holler surprise,
sing happy birthday,
509
00:29:27,474 --> 00:29:28,766
and let it go at that.
510
00:29:28,850 --> 00:29:30,935
How about it?
511
00:29:31,019 --> 00:29:33,980
Captain, what harm can it do?
512
00:29:34,063 --> 00:29:35,940
He did save Gopher's life.
513
00:29:36,024 --> 00:29:38,443
Right, yeah.
514
00:29:38,526 --> 00:29:40,069
If it hadn't been
for him, Gopher's life
515
00:29:40,153 --> 00:29:42,238
wouldn't have needed saving.
516
00:29:42,322 --> 00:29:43,948
This man is a criminal.
517
00:29:48,036 --> 00:29:49,287
Boy, are you a party pooper.
518
00:29:59,422 --> 00:30:03,718
[music playing]
519
00:30:12,644 --> 00:30:13,937
[knocking]
520
00:30:15,230 --> 00:30:15,939
Jeannie.
521
00:30:23,488 --> 00:30:25,406
Open the door, Jeannie.
522
00:30:25,490 --> 00:30:31,412
I need to talk to you, and I
think you need to talk to me.
523
00:30:31,496 --> 00:30:33,414
[lock clicking]
524
00:30:53,017 --> 00:30:56,229
You're going to have
to help me, Jeannie.
525
00:30:56,312 --> 00:31:00,858
I know I can never
understand everything
526
00:31:00,942 --> 00:31:06,239
you must be feeling,
everything you must have felt.
527
00:31:06,322 --> 00:31:12,870
But if you're scared, you
can believe me, I am too.
528
00:31:23,881 --> 00:31:26,217
I never saw you.
529
00:31:26,301 --> 00:31:28,469
Do you know that?
530
00:31:28,553 --> 00:31:30,555
It was one of the rules.
531
00:31:34,392 --> 00:31:37,145
They took you away
from me while I--
532
00:31:37,228 --> 00:31:38,896
I was still asleep.
533
00:31:38,980 --> 00:31:39,022
Why did you give me away?
534
00:31:42,567 --> 00:31:50,158
25 years ago, a girl paid
very dearly for her mistakes.
535
00:31:50,241 --> 00:31:53,786
There was no tolerance for
people who defied the rules.
536
00:31:59,709 --> 00:32:07,091
They told me it would be
impossible for you to have a--
537
00:32:07,175 --> 00:32:09,927
a normal, happy life if--
538
00:32:10,011 --> 00:32:13,056
if I tried to raise you by
myself without a husband.
539
00:32:17,518 --> 00:32:23,149
It-- there was just no chance
for us together, Jeannie.
540
00:32:27,070 --> 00:32:29,530
Why didn't you
ever try to find me?
541
00:32:29,614 --> 00:32:32,033
I couldn't.
542
00:32:32,116 --> 00:32:35,578
Only recently the adoption
agencies opened the way
543
00:32:35,662 --> 00:32:39,165
for this kind of an inquiry.
544
00:32:39,248 --> 00:32:42,210
10 years ago, you couldn't
have found me either.
545
00:32:42,293 --> 00:32:45,797
When I did get married, it--
546
00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:47,090
it was my second chance.
547
00:32:49,634 --> 00:32:53,054
And I-- I felt that--
548
00:32:58,142 --> 00:33:01,646
I felt that--
549
00:33:01,729 --> 00:33:06,401
I had to hide the fact
that you'd ever been born.
550
00:33:06,484 --> 00:33:07,985
[crying]
551
00:33:15,910 --> 00:33:24,043
I-- I know it's too late
for me to be your mother.
552
00:33:24,127 --> 00:33:30,216
But I'd feel very privileged
to be your friend.
553
00:33:50,445 --> 00:33:52,405
Mom, I'm sorry.
554
00:33:52,488 --> 00:33:53,990
[gasping]
555
00:33:54,073 --> 00:33:55,950
Mike.
556
00:33:56,033 --> 00:33:56,492
Mike.
557
00:33:56,576 --> 00:33:58,244
What is it?
558
00:33:58,327 --> 00:34:00,079
I'm in love with you.
559
00:34:00,163 --> 00:34:00,455
Yes, well, of course.
560
00:34:00,538 --> 00:34:05,793
You-- oh.
561
00:34:05,877 --> 00:34:08,504
Uh-- Jeannie, it's--
562
00:34:08,588 --> 00:34:09,797
it's all right.
563
00:34:09,881 --> 00:34:11,841
I mean, uh-- look,
there's absolutely nothing
564
00:34:11,924 --> 00:34:12,967
to worry about.
565
00:34:13,050 --> 00:34:15,887
Mother married my father
when I was three years old.
566
00:34:15,970 --> 00:34:18,097
She's my-- my step-mother.
567
00:34:18,181 --> 00:34:19,515
[sighing]
568
00:34:20,808 --> 00:34:24,645
Believe me, you and I
aren't related at all--
569
00:34:24,729 --> 00:34:25,396
yet.
570
00:34:35,740 --> 00:34:38,951
This is a terrific cake.
571
00:34:39,035 --> 00:34:43,164
Sure, if you like mud cake.
572
00:34:43,247 --> 00:34:46,584
[singing happily]
573
00:34:50,171 --> 00:34:51,631
Look what I got.
574
00:34:51,714 --> 00:34:53,257
Oh, that garland
is perfect, Everett.
575
00:34:53,341 --> 00:34:57,970
We'd better get the party
started before the Captain
576
00:34:58,054 --> 00:34:59,430
changes his mind.
577
00:35:16,989 --> 00:35:17,698
Golly.
578
00:35:20,326 --> 00:35:20,368
Nothing much doing today.
579
00:35:24,288 --> 00:35:27,083
Guess I'll take a snooze.
580
00:35:27,166 --> 00:35:33,005
And then later get in some
fishing and a sun bath.
581
00:35:35,633 --> 00:35:36,342
Ho-hum.
582
00:35:43,349 --> 00:35:44,851
We couldn't get the
signal fire going.
583
00:35:44,934 --> 00:35:46,018
The wood's too wet.
584
00:35:46,102 --> 00:35:48,104
Oh, I'm sure
somebody'll find us.
585
00:35:48,187 --> 00:35:51,440
Look, everything's just
about ready for the party.
586
00:35:51,524 --> 00:35:54,068
Goodie.
587
00:35:54,152 --> 00:35:55,611
Isn't it exciting?
588
00:35:55,695 --> 00:36:00,032
Now somebody has to lure
Mr. Crothers up to the hut
589
00:36:00,116 --> 00:36:02,743
while the rest of us hide.
590
00:36:02,827 --> 00:36:04,078
How about you, Captain?
591
00:36:04,161 --> 00:36:04,829
No, no.
592
00:36:04,912 --> 00:36:06,247
I refuse.
593
00:36:06,330 --> 00:36:07,164
Oh.
594
00:36:07,248 --> 00:36:08,291
Be a sport, sir.
595
00:36:08,374 --> 00:36:09,417
Shh!
596
00:36:09,500 --> 00:36:12,170
[WHISPERING] He's right
over there behind the rock.
597
00:36:18,009 --> 00:36:21,012
All right, this is it.
598
00:36:21,095 --> 00:36:22,889
What do you mean this is it?
599
00:36:22,972 --> 00:36:25,349
You're supposed to lure me.
600
00:36:25,433 --> 00:36:27,768
Pretend you're taking me back
to the house for a drink.
601
00:36:27,852 --> 00:36:29,520
Ask me to drop by the office
and see the new computer.
602
00:36:29,604 --> 00:36:33,524
You're not supposed to just
come up and say, this is it.
603
00:36:33,608 --> 00:36:35,568
Pretty crummy.
604
00:36:35,651 --> 00:36:37,445
Are you through?
605
00:36:37,528 --> 00:36:39,238
Yeah, yeah.
606
00:36:39,322 --> 00:36:41,282
Then forget the entire thing.
607
00:36:41,365 --> 00:36:42,658
I'm only doing this
to humor Mrs. Worth.
608
00:36:42,742 --> 00:36:45,286
Oh, come on, be a pal.
609
00:36:45,369 --> 00:36:46,078
Forget it.
610
00:36:46,162 --> 00:36:47,121
No party.
611
00:36:47,204 --> 00:36:48,873
But it would have
been a party I--
612
00:36:48,956 --> 00:36:50,374
I would never have forgotten.
613
00:36:50,458 --> 00:36:51,709
Look!
614
00:36:51,792 --> 00:36:52,585
Oh, look!
615
00:36:52,668 --> 00:36:53,628
A cake!
616
00:36:53,711 --> 00:36:57,298
And-- and bunting too!
617
00:36:57,381 --> 00:37:00,009
Would I have gotten
the Tinkertoy?
618
00:37:00,092 --> 00:37:01,052
GROUP: Surprise!
619
00:37:01,135 --> 00:37:02,053
Surprise!
620
00:37:02,136 --> 00:37:02,762
Surprise!
621
00:37:02,845 --> 00:37:04,597
Happy birthday, Dave!
622
00:37:04,680 --> 00:37:05,932
Fooled you, right?
623
00:37:06,015 --> 00:37:08,392
Well, I'll be a dirty bird.
624
00:37:08,476 --> 00:37:09,769
It's my birthday.
You remembered.
625
00:37:09,852 --> 00:37:10,853
Mm-hm.
626
00:37:10,937 --> 00:37:12,313
And here's your
birthday hat, Dave.
627
00:37:12,396 --> 00:37:13,481
Aw, thanks a million.
628
00:37:13,564 --> 00:37:17,485
If it doesn't fit, I can
always use it in a salad.
629
00:37:17,568 --> 00:37:18,527
Happy birthday, Dave.
630
00:37:18,611 --> 00:37:22,698
Hey, you're not so bad
a gal yourself, sister.
631
00:37:22,782 --> 00:37:24,825
Happy birthday, Dave.
632
00:37:24,909 --> 00:37:25,952
Oh!
633
00:37:26,035 --> 00:37:28,329
Oh, it's a calendar watch!
634
00:37:28,412 --> 00:37:30,498
There's the date and--
and the day of the week.
635
00:37:30,581 --> 00:37:33,417
Say, that's the perfect
gift for a hermit.
636
00:37:33,501 --> 00:37:34,585
Here you go, Dave.
637
00:37:34,669 --> 00:37:35,586
I wrapped it myself.
638
00:37:35,670 --> 00:37:36,504
Aw, gee.
639
00:37:36,587 --> 00:37:37,964
Thanks.
640
00:37:38,047 --> 00:37:38,589
What is it?
641
00:37:38,673 --> 00:37:39,840
Oh.
642
00:37:39,924 --> 00:37:44,178
I've always wanted one of these.
643
00:37:44,261 --> 00:37:46,180
Come to my room in half an
hour and bring some rye bread.
644
00:37:46,263 --> 00:37:48,432
[laughing]
645
00:37:48,516 --> 00:37:50,184
We couldn't think of a thing--
646
00:37:50,268 --> 00:37:52,812
But I did have
this in my purse.
647
00:37:52,895 --> 00:37:55,356
I don't know how it got there.
648
00:37:55,439 --> 00:37:56,691
Princess.
649
00:37:56,774 --> 00:37:59,402
It's a hot ashtray.
650
00:37:59,485 --> 00:38:01,237
Well, I've always
wanted something stolen.
651
00:38:07,618 --> 00:38:11,205
Well, it-- it's been
a swell birthday.
652
00:38:11,288 --> 00:38:14,208
Uh, but the party's over.
653
00:38:14,291 --> 00:38:19,338
And, uh, the quicker you get off
my island, the happier I'll be.
654
00:38:19,422 --> 00:38:21,590
I quite agree.
655
00:38:21,674 --> 00:38:24,552
I suggest we all head
towards the beach.
656
00:38:24,635 --> 00:38:26,053
We'll try to light that fire.
657
00:38:26,137 --> 00:38:28,014
And if you have
anything to wave,
658
00:38:28,097 --> 00:38:29,724
bring it in case
we spot a plane.
659
00:38:29,807 --> 00:38:33,436
This way.
660
00:38:33,519 --> 00:38:34,353
Stay dry, man.
661
00:38:34,437 --> 00:38:34,937
- Yeah, thank you.
- Happy birthday.
662
00:38:35,021 --> 00:38:36,731
Bye.
- Thanks.
663
00:38:36,814 --> 00:38:37,732
- Bye-bye.
- Bye.
664
00:38:37,815 --> 00:38:39,233
Bye.
665
00:38:39,317 --> 00:38:43,320
Uh-- I didn't mean it when
I said get off my island.
666
00:38:47,116 --> 00:38:53,330
Come live with me
and be my love,
667
00:38:53,414 --> 00:38:58,627
and we shall some
new pleasure prove
668
00:38:58,711 --> 00:39:04,175
of golden sands
and crystal brooks,
669
00:39:04,258 --> 00:39:07,678
with silken lines
and silver hooks.
670
00:39:10,222 --> 00:39:14,018
That's John Donne,
that's not me.
671
00:39:16,353 --> 00:39:19,023
It came straight from
my hermit's heart.
672
00:39:21,817 --> 00:39:24,653
Oh, Mr. Crothers.
673
00:39:24,737 --> 00:39:28,699
I'd-- I'd love to stay
on your island, but--
674
00:39:28,783 --> 00:39:30,451
But who'd want to
live with somebody
675
00:39:30,534 --> 00:39:32,203
who's playing with half a deck.
676
00:39:32,286 --> 00:39:33,245
Oh, no, no.
677
00:39:33,329 --> 00:39:37,750
Now don't-- don't you
say things like that.
678
00:39:37,833 --> 00:39:41,754
You're saner than
most people I know.
679
00:39:41,837 --> 00:39:43,964
Then stay with me.
680
00:39:44,048 --> 00:39:45,508
We'll live happily ever after.
681
00:39:47,802 --> 00:39:54,850
Mr. Crothers, there can't be
any happily ever after for me.
682
00:39:58,771 --> 00:40:02,108
Don't you believe
in fairy tales?
683
00:40:02,191 --> 00:40:04,068
Kiss me on the nose, come on.
684
00:40:04,151 --> 00:40:07,738
And I'll turn into a prince.
685
00:40:07,822 --> 00:40:10,491
Or a frog.
686
00:40:10,574 --> 00:40:11,951
We'll have a wonderful
life together.
687
00:40:15,746 --> 00:40:23,295
Dave, I'm dying.
688
00:40:23,295 --> 00:40:24,588
We all are.
689
00:40:27,258 --> 00:40:30,136
They say I only
have six months.
690
00:40:33,431 --> 00:40:35,683
We're all the same.
691
00:40:35,766 --> 00:40:37,476
You just know when.
692
00:40:56,412 --> 00:40:59,707
[engine rumbling]
693
00:41:07,756 --> 00:41:10,509
Boy, that's, uh,
some loud peacock.
694
00:41:15,514 --> 00:41:15,556
I know.
695
00:41:32,072 --> 00:41:33,908
[knocking]
696
00:41:34,325 --> 00:41:35,492
It's open.
697
00:41:40,998 --> 00:41:41,707
Mara.
698
00:41:45,586 --> 00:41:46,253
I didn't think
I'd be doing this,
699
00:41:46,337 --> 00:41:49,089
but I came to apologize to you.
700
00:41:49,173 --> 00:41:51,342
I'm the one who
should apologize.
701
00:41:51,425 --> 00:41:56,138
I mean, all the
showing off, lying.
702
00:41:56,222 --> 00:41:59,141
I was a real jerk, wasn't I?
703
00:42:02,478 --> 00:42:06,440
But when the chips were down,
you showed what kind of man
704
00:42:06,523 --> 00:42:07,566
you really are.
705
00:42:07,650 --> 00:42:10,444
Everybody's talking about
what you did last night.
706
00:42:10,527 --> 00:42:11,278
Oh.
707
00:42:11,362 --> 00:42:13,280
I-- I didn't do that much.
708
00:42:13,364 --> 00:42:15,532
You're quite a guy, Isaac.
709
00:42:15,616 --> 00:42:17,868
As long as you remember
to be yourself.
710
00:42:17,952 --> 00:42:25,334
If I were really going to be
myself, I'd take you in my arms
711
00:42:25,417 --> 00:42:29,588
and hold you very close.
712
00:42:29,672 --> 00:42:32,049
Well.
713
00:42:32,132 --> 00:42:35,469
Like I said, be yourself.
714
00:42:50,776 --> 00:42:52,111
Here we go.
715
00:42:54,738 --> 00:42:56,115
All right, Mrs. Worth.
716
00:42:56,198 --> 00:42:57,658
It's time to get you off
this god forsaken island.
717
00:43:02,246 --> 00:43:05,708
I don't think this island
is forsaken, Captain.
718
00:43:05,791 --> 00:43:11,297
You don't think Dave lifted
that tree all by himself do you?
719
00:43:11,380 --> 00:43:14,091
I know, but it's time to go.
720
00:43:14,174 --> 00:43:15,718
You go on, Captain.
721
00:43:18,470 --> 00:43:19,179
What?
722
00:43:22,224 --> 00:43:23,809
I'm gonna stay here with Dave.
723
00:43:25,894 --> 00:43:27,187
Why?
724
00:43:27,271 --> 00:43:31,692
Well, I'll tell you, Captain.
725
00:43:31,775 --> 00:43:34,903
I've lived a lot of years and
I've done a lot of things,
726
00:43:34,987 --> 00:43:36,697
but you know what?
727
00:43:36,780 --> 00:43:38,699
I've never lived
in a grass shack.
728
00:43:38,782 --> 00:43:44,288
And I've never really learned
the poetry of John Donne.
729
00:43:44,371 --> 00:43:48,292
And I've never watched a
sunset from a deserted island.
730
00:43:48,375 --> 00:43:50,711
I don't understand.
731
00:43:50,794 --> 00:43:51,837
You can do these things anytime.
732
00:43:56,675 --> 00:44:03,891
Well, there's no time
like the present, is there?
733
00:44:03,974 --> 00:44:04,683
Goodbye, Captain.
734
00:44:10,647 --> 00:44:11,899
Well.
735
00:44:11,982 --> 00:44:17,404
I'll, uh, have your things sent
by launch on our way north.
736
00:44:17,488 --> 00:44:19,823
That'll be very
nice, thank you.
737
00:44:19,907 --> 00:44:20,282
Thanks for the party, Captain.
738
00:44:20,366 --> 00:44:23,369
It was terrific.
739
00:44:23,452 --> 00:44:24,161
Goodbye.
740
00:44:27,706 --> 00:44:30,084
Goodbye, Mrs. Worth.
741
00:44:30,167 --> 00:44:31,960
Good luck to the both of you.
742
00:44:36,507 --> 00:44:37,758
Oh.
743
00:44:37,841 --> 00:44:44,056
If I can't get Tinkertoys, would
you settle for an Erector Set?
744
00:44:44,139 --> 00:44:45,057
Aye aye, sir.
745
00:44:45,140 --> 00:44:47,601
[laughing]
746
00:44:47,684 --> 00:44:51,021
[music playing]
747
00:45:50,831 --> 00:45:51,999
- Kiki!
- Julie!
748
00:45:52,082 --> 00:45:52,750
Bye-bye!
749
00:45:52,833 --> 00:45:53,750
Oh, bye.
750
00:45:53,834 --> 00:45:53,876
See you.
751
00:45:57,754 --> 00:46:01,300
Doc, I've had a lovely
last three days.
752
00:46:01,383 --> 00:46:02,176
Me too.
753
00:46:02,259 --> 00:46:03,510
Obviously, being
marooned on an island
754
00:46:03,594 --> 00:46:05,554
has its indirect benefits.
755
00:46:08,682 --> 00:46:12,352
If I ever need a great
nurse, I'll give you a call.
756
00:46:12,436 --> 00:46:16,857
If I ever need a great
friend, I'll give you a call.
757
00:46:16,940 --> 00:46:17,733
Bye.
758
00:46:17,816 --> 00:46:18,525
Bye.
759
00:46:20,777 --> 00:46:24,364
Well, there goes
a changed woman.
760
00:46:24,448 --> 00:46:25,282
Well, we all changed
on that island.
761
00:46:25,365 --> 00:46:27,075
Hey guys.
762
00:46:27,159 --> 00:46:28,243
Come on, give me
a nice smile, OK?
763
00:46:28,327 --> 00:46:29,703
Oh--
764
00:46:29,786 --> 00:46:32,706
Gopher, how many times can
you scare us with that snake?
765
00:46:32,789 --> 00:46:33,457
Hey guys.
766
00:46:33,540 --> 00:46:35,501
No snake this time, I promise.
767
00:46:35,584 --> 00:46:37,294
Please?
768
00:46:37,377 --> 00:46:38,212
OK.
769
00:46:38,295 --> 00:46:39,213
- Say cheese?
- Come on.
770
00:46:39,296 --> 00:46:40,881
- OK.
- OK.
771
00:46:40,964 --> 00:46:41,715
OK.
772
00:46:41,798 --> 00:46:43,342
Oh, yeah.
773
00:46:43,425 --> 00:46:44,259
That's good.
774
00:46:44,343 --> 00:46:44,718
Ready?
775
00:46:44,801 --> 00:46:45,135
[squirting]
776
00:46:45,219 --> 00:46:48,055
Oh, Gopher!
777
00:46:48,138 --> 00:46:49,306
Bye now.
778
00:46:49,389 --> 00:46:50,349
Oh.
779
00:46:50,432 --> 00:46:51,892
You were saying we all changed.
780
00:46:51,975 --> 00:46:54,561
Yeah, he got worse.
781
00:46:54,645 --> 00:46:55,103
Hey, let's say goodbye.
782
00:46:55,187 --> 00:46:58,106
Right.
783
00:46:58,190 --> 00:47:01,026
See you soon, Julie, Doc.
784
00:47:01,109 --> 00:47:02,736
Sorry you got
stuck on the island.
785
00:47:02,819 --> 00:47:04,738
Oh, we're not.
786
00:47:04,821 --> 00:47:05,447
Bye.
787
00:47:05,531 --> 00:47:06,573
Uh, Mr. Buell.
788
00:47:06,657 --> 00:47:09,201
May I have a word with you?
789
00:47:09,284 --> 00:47:10,118
Certainly.
790
00:47:10,202 --> 00:47:11,286
I'll get us a taxi, lover.
791
00:47:11,370 --> 00:47:12,913
I won't be long.
792
00:47:15,958 --> 00:47:19,711
On the island, I
couldn't help overhearing
793
00:47:19,795 --> 00:47:21,213
about all those women.
794
00:47:21,296 --> 00:47:22,214
All those women, huh?
795
00:47:22,297 --> 00:47:23,549
Yeah.
796
00:47:23,632 --> 00:47:24,967
You know, that's funny.
797
00:47:25,050 --> 00:47:27,177
Maureen believed
me about the women,
798
00:47:27,261 --> 00:47:29,429
but she never believed
me about the UFOs.
799
00:47:29,513 --> 00:47:32,599
I made up the women.
800
00:47:32,683 --> 00:47:33,976
I really saw the UFOs.
801
00:47:43,777 --> 00:47:44,778
Mother, how do you feel?
802
00:47:44,861 --> 00:47:45,946
You just picked up a
daughter, a daughter-in-law,
803
00:47:46,029 --> 00:47:49,116
and a gin rummy partner
all in one fell swoop.
804
00:47:49,199 --> 00:47:52,578
How on earth am I going to
word these wedding invitations?
805
00:47:52,661 --> 00:47:53,870
I've got you beat.
806
00:47:53,954 --> 00:47:57,583
I got a mother, a mother-in-law,
a step-brother, and a husband.
807
00:47:57,666 --> 00:48:01,044
We're going to need
a big apartment.
808
00:48:01,128 --> 00:48:04,840
This is a big decision you're
making, giving up the sea.
809
00:48:04,923 --> 00:48:07,843
Well, my cruise line
is just going to have
810
00:48:07,926 --> 00:48:08,844
to get along without me.
811
00:48:08,927 --> 00:48:10,387
Do you know what
you're going to do?
812
00:48:10,470 --> 00:48:12,639
I don't know.
813
00:48:12,723 --> 00:48:14,891
I thought I'd find a desert
island and become a hermit.
814
00:48:14,975 --> 00:48:17,269
That's what my
brother did, you know.
815
00:48:17,352 --> 00:48:18,228
Yeah.
816
00:48:18,312 --> 00:48:19,896
Well, good luck, Mr. Cunningham.
817
00:48:19,980 --> 00:48:20,689
Captain.
818
00:48:26,570 --> 00:48:29,573
Brother?
819
00:48:29,656 --> 00:48:31,491
Mara, I've got the
whole day planned for us.
820
00:48:31,575 --> 00:48:33,327
That's terrific.
821
00:48:33,410 --> 00:48:34,870
Hey, aren't you
gonna invite us?
822
00:48:34,953 --> 00:48:36,079
We like parties.
823
00:48:36,163 --> 00:48:38,332
Why not?
824
00:48:38,415 --> 00:48:39,958
Do me a favor.
825
00:48:40,042 --> 00:48:40,792
Get lost.
826
00:48:40,876 --> 00:48:43,211
We sure know how to do that.
827
00:48:46,757 --> 00:48:47,049
One minute, please.
828
00:48:50,469 --> 00:48:51,553
Sir.
829
00:48:51,637 --> 00:48:55,682
I am sorry that your
vacation turned out this way.
830
00:48:55,766 --> 00:48:59,019
Oh, uh, that's all right, sir.
831
00:48:59,102 --> 00:49:01,521
I heard from many
sources that you
832
00:49:01,605 --> 00:49:04,983
were the glue that held the
ship together during the crisis.
833
00:49:05,067 --> 00:49:06,109
I owe you a debt of gratitude.
834
00:49:06,193 --> 00:49:08,737
Well, sir, when you've
sailed with the best skipper
835
00:49:08,820 --> 00:49:11,657
there is, well, a
little rubs off.
836
00:49:11,740 --> 00:49:14,242
Thank you.
837
00:49:14,326 --> 00:49:17,537
I would also like to
thank you in another way.
838
00:49:17,621 --> 00:49:19,373
Sir?
839
00:49:19,456 --> 00:49:20,957
A promotion.
840
00:49:21,041 --> 00:49:22,209
Isaac, that's wonderful.
841
00:49:22,292 --> 00:49:25,462
In addition to your overseeing
all the bars on the ship,
842
00:49:25,545 --> 00:49:27,798
I want you to get involved
in other areas too.
843
00:49:27,881 --> 00:49:30,550
There will be some
stripes in your next pay
844
00:49:30,634 --> 00:49:34,221
envelope, Mr. Washington.
845
00:49:34,304 --> 00:49:35,764
Thank you, sir.
846
00:49:35,847 --> 00:49:38,100
Oh, thank you!
847
00:49:38,183 --> 00:49:39,476
Give me five.
848
00:49:39,559 --> 00:49:41,019
[laughing]
849
00:49:43,271 --> 00:49:44,022
Bye-bye.
850
00:49:44,106 --> 00:49:45,399
See you, Mr. Washington.
851
00:49:45,482 --> 00:49:46,066
Mr. Washington, sir.
852
00:49:46,149 --> 00:49:47,943
So long, Mr. Washington.
853
00:49:48,026 --> 00:49:48,735
Isaac.
854
00:49:51,488 --> 00:49:51,863
Vacation's over.
855
00:49:51,947 --> 00:49:52,197
Back to work.
856
00:49:56,118 --> 00:49:56,827
Hmm?
857
00:50:05,627 --> 00:50:09,756
[theme music]
56263
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