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1
00:00:43,280 --> 00:00:47,639
For the sin we have
committed by gluttony.
2
00:00:47,640 --> 00:00:51,162
And for the sin we have committed
by succumbing to despair.
3
00:00:51,440 --> 00:00:55,201
For the sin we have
committed by stubbornness.
4
00:00:55,800 --> 00:00:59,891
And for the sin we have committed
by rashly judging others.
5
00:01:02,560 --> 00:01:06,519
Sweetheart, do you see
that guy in the corner
6
00:01:06,520 --> 00:01:08,959
with the dark hair and
the blue yarmulke?
7
00:01:08,960 --> 00:01:14,079
Absolutely gorgeous. That's Ben
Feldman, M&A, J.P. Morgan.
8
00:01:14,080 --> 00:01:16,362
- He has no chin!
- Mother, be quiet.
9
00:01:17,280 --> 00:01:19,319
- Shh!
- He recently separated from his wife.
10
00:01:19,320 --> 00:01:21,199
Some shikseh from Idaho.
11
00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:23,959
She could do better. She could!
12
00:01:23,960 --> 00:01:25,959
- You could do better.
- Mother.
13
00:01:25,960 --> 00:01:27,919
Mother, would you stop
feeding her perfectionism?
14
00:01:27,920 --> 00:01:29,439
You did the same thing with Larry.
15
00:01:29,440 --> 00:01:32,159
- I didn't like him either.
- What's not to like? The man was a prince.
16
00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:33,919
- I didn't care for him.
- What do you mean?
17
00:01:33,920 --> 00:01:35,999
- He wasn't the one, okay?
- Oy, the one.
18
00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:37,599
He had no sex appeal.
19
00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:40,770
Mother, sha! He's right over there.
20
00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:44,799
Marriage is the
hardest thing we do.
21
00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:47,359
She is 28 years old.
She hasn't dated in a year.
22
00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:48,519
I'm afraid she'll
be alone forever...
23
00:01:48,520 --> 00:01:50,160
Mom, would you shut up?
I'm atoning!
24
00:02:02,640 --> 00:02:04,842
Gray clouds are gonna clear up
25
00:02:06,040 --> 00:02:08,559
Put on a happy face
26
00:02:08,560 --> 00:02:11,719
Brush off the clouds and cheer up
27
00:02:11,720 --> 00:02:14,599
Put on a happy face
28
00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:17,959
Take off the gloomy mask of tragedy
29
00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:20,719
It's not your style
30
00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:23,239
You look so good
that you'll be glad
31
00:02:23,240 --> 00:02:26,679
You decided to smile
32
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:29,079
Pick out a pleasant outlook
33
00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:32,079
Stick out that noble chin
34
00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:35,639
Wipe off that full-of-doubt look
35
00:02:35,640 --> 00:02:38,719
Slap on a happy grin
36
00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:41,079
And spread sunshine
37
00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:43,851
All over the place
38
00:02:44,920 --> 00:02:49,409
Just put on a happy face
39
00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:08,919
Spread sunshine
40
00:03:08,920 --> 00:03:12,599
All over the place
41
00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:16,168
Just put on a happy face
42
00:03:24,720 --> 00:03:27,359
Gray clouds are gonna clear up
43
00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:29,999
With sunshine all over the place
44
00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:32,279
If you'll put on
45
00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:37,122
A happy face
46
00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:45,199
Gray clouds are gonna clear up
47
00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:47,799
With sunshine all over the place
48
00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:50,199
If you'll put on
49
00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:55,611
A happy face
50
00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:59,359
Peter, I'm telling you,
trust me on this one.
51
00:03:59,360 --> 00:04:01,999
- It means "speechless, without words."
- I think "unimpressed."
52
00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:04,319
- No, "speechless, perplexed."
- Are you sure on this?
53
00:04:04,320 --> 00:04:06,439
- I'm sure. Everybody gets this wrong.
- I'm almost positive here.
54
00:04:06,440 --> 00:04:09,439
- Howard, define "nonplussed."
- "Speechless, perplexed."
55
00:04:09,440 --> 00:04:11,279
Thank you, Howard.
56
00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:15,239
- And Howard, that cellist with the thing?
- Two umlauts. Both "U"s.
57
00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:18,639
Right, right, right.
Oh, my God! Hi!
58
00:04:18,640 --> 00:04:20,679
- Hi. Thank you.
- Congratulations.
59
00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:22,999
- Okay, you're glowing. Are you thrilled?
- Let's see.
60
00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:25,399
I can't drink, smoke or eat
sushi for nine months.
61
00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:26,839
- Honestly, I'm panicked.
- Oh, my God.
62
00:04:26,840 --> 00:04:28,199
Did you guys celebrate last night?
63
00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:30,359
- It's so exciting.
- Yeah. Oh, God. Matthew's so excited.
64
00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:33,639
- Meyers, I gotta talk to you.
- Hey, Stein. Chuck, did you get my E-mail?
65
00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:36,599
- Yeah. "Deep-seeded." Who knew?
- Right.
66
00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:39,799
It has nothing to do with seeds.
Refers to how deeply something is set.
67
00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:41,559
- Sorry about that, Josh.
- Oh, shit!
68
00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:43,559
- No problem. Don't worry about it.
- What is this?
69
00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:46,799
- What did you do to this?
- What is what?
70
00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:49,079
This profile. You gutted it.
You totally gutted it.
71
00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:52,039
It was sappy and long-winded.
You practically went down on the guy.
72
00:04:52,040 --> 00:04:54,319
Went down on the guy? Okay,
you know what, Meyers?
73
00:04:54,320 --> 00:04:56,319
This is one of the great
directors of our time.
74
00:04:56,320 --> 00:04:59,879
I think he merits a little
praise in the lead.
75
00:04:59,880 --> 00:05:02,359
- It's an article, Stein, not a puff piece.
- It's a tribute.
76
00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:04,561
This is an artist. We can't
afford an adjective for him?
77
00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:07,239
Not one? I think it was a really
good piece. It was well written,
78
00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:08,919
- it was clear, it had heart...
- Stein?
79
00:05:08,920 --> 00:05:12,079
- Stein? Your phone is ringing.
- Yeah? What?
80
00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:17,204
Your phone is ringing.
81
00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:21,079
- Jessica Stein.
- Hey, Jessie!
82
00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:23,399
Oh! Hey, Danny. I'm sorry.
83
00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:25,759
- I got some news.
- Are you okay?
84
00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:27,759
Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I just...
85
00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:29,759
You can't tell Mom
and Dad yet, okay?
86
00:05:29,760 --> 00:05:31,759
- Yeah, okay.
- Are you sitting down?
87
00:05:31,760 --> 00:05:33,200
Uh-huh.
88
00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:37,850
I proposed to Rach!
I'm getting married!
89
00:05:40,920 --> 00:05:43,519
Wow!
90
00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:46,291
Wow.
91
00:05:57,000 --> 00:05:59,479
"It is not inertia alone
92
00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:02,759
"that is responsible for human
relationships repeating themselves
93
00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:04,759
"from case to case,
94
00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:08,567
"indescribably monotonous
and unrenewed.
95
00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:14,359
"It is shyness before any sort
of new, unforeseeable experience
96
00:06:14,360 --> 00:06:18,119
"with which one does not
think oneself able to cope.
97
00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:21,479
"But only someone who is
ready for everything,
98
00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:23,959
"who excludes nothing,
99
00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:26,479
"not even the most unenigmatical,
100
00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:31,083
"will live the relation to
another as something alive."
101
00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:41,799
God, this is great. This is great.
102
00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:44,039
I am so glad that you
asked me to do this.
103
00:06:44,040 --> 00:06:46,766
I mean, it was so bold of you
to come up to me at the gym.
104
00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:49,479
I mean, I thought I'd
finally give it a shot.
105
00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:52,439
Sometimes, you seem so
focused on your workout,
106
00:06:52,440 --> 00:06:55,359
- I wasn't sure if you'd talk to me.
- Oh, no.
107
00:06:55,360 --> 00:06:58,119
That's just the whole
gestalt of the gym thing.
108
00:06:58,120 --> 00:07:01,039
I mean, it's so
narcissistic and shallow.
109
00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:03,719
I think we all try to maintain a
certain anonymity while we're there.
110
00:07:03,720 --> 00:07:06,399
No, I have to disagree
with you there.
111
00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:08,399
I really love working out.
112
00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:11,399
I mean, granted, it is a little
narcissistic, as you say,
113
00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:14,159
but I really get a high, you know,
114
00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:17,011
from all those "endorphmins"
pumping and all.
115
00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:21,719
So, um, you're a writer.
116
00:07:21,720 --> 00:07:24,446
That's... That's amazing.
117
00:07:24,680 --> 00:07:25,999
- Hi. Hi.
- Hey! Hey!
118
00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:29,119
- I'm sorry I'm so late.
- No, you're right on time.
119
00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:31,519
- What? I'm an hour late.
- No, no.
120
00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:34,279
You are right on time.
121
00:07:34,280 --> 00:07:37,239
Hey, "tarbender,"
the lady'll have a...
122
00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:41,279
I will have a frozen strawberry
margarita with salt, please.
123
00:07:41,280 --> 00:07:45,399
Well, I see great
minds think alike.
124
00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:49,839
Uh, we split the salad. But I think,
as I recall, you ate a little bit more,
125
00:07:49,840 --> 00:07:54,719
including more of the arugula, which
is one of the more expensive greens.
126
00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:57,479
I didn't have any of the
goat cheese. I'm allergic.
127
00:07:57,480 --> 00:07:59,879
No dessert. Easy enough.
128
00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:05,079
That leaves your portion at
$42.73, and mine at $18.14.
129
00:08:05,080 --> 00:08:07,879
Beautiful. Perfect.
130
00:08:07,880 --> 00:08:09,605
You have exact change?
131
00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:11,919
It's so funny, Jessica.
132
00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:14,726
But I go out with a
lot of girls. A lot.
133
00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:17,799
And I just... I don't know.
I just feel so...
134
00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:21,439
So comfortable with you, so at
home, so free to be myself.
135
00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:25,239
Normally, I'm a pretty
"self-defecating" guy.
136
00:08:25,240 --> 00:08:27,439
Let me tell you something.
You're "phat."
137
00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:29,239
I'd love to see you
twirl in that dress.
138
00:08:29,240 --> 00:08:31,279
- With a P-H.
- Twirl.
139
00:08:31,280 --> 00:08:33,239
Oh, okay.
140
00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:35,599
- As it were, per se.
- I like the way your hair...
141
00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:36,759
Uh...
142
00:08:36,760 --> 00:08:38,239
goes around your head like that.
143
00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:40,559
- You know what I mean?
- You know? You know?
144
00:08:40,560 --> 00:08:43,279
- Whoops! I spilled some.
- What's not to get?
145
00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:46,719
I think we're connecting, and
I'd like to represent you
146
00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:48,879
as your accountant
and your boyfriend,
147
00:08:48,880 --> 00:08:52,323
if that's... That's
at all possible.
148
00:08:58,320 --> 00:09:02,279
Okay, the New Yorker loves us.
The reviewer is creaming in her pants.
149
00:09:02,280 --> 00:09:04,959
- So exhale, please. Okay?
- Okay.
150
00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:07,159
His back has been like
solid concrete all night.
151
00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:09,159
Your boyfriend has on his
serial killer face again.
152
00:09:09,160 --> 00:09:11,199
He's scaring some of the guests.
153
00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:13,399
He's been a little needy lately.
154
00:09:13,400 --> 00:09:15,639
I'll talk to him.
155
00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:17,879
Oh, hon. You are late.
156
00:09:17,880 --> 00:09:22,130
I'm sorry. My cab driver was
Ukrainian, and my Slav is only so-so.
157
00:09:22,680 --> 00:09:25,999
So you wanna do something later?
158
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:27,719
- I'm gonna be at the library later...
- Oh, yeah?
159
00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:31,319
- ...In the 16th century archive, nude...
- Mm-hmm.
160
00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:34,879
With a bookmark dangling
precariously off of my dick.
161
00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:37,162
So I'll be waiting for you.
162
00:09:37,560 --> 00:09:39,159
Should I bring anything?
163
00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:41,279
Just your unbelievable body,
164
00:09:41,280 --> 00:09:44,643
and a photo I.D.
and a library card.
165
00:09:47,640 --> 00:09:50,207
- Pickup.
- Oh, yeah. It's right this way, please.
166
00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:55,761
You're so ready now
167
00:09:55,775 --> 00:10:00,071
- Martin, where's Helen?
- Delivery.
168
00:10:00,088 --> 00:10:02,882
Why are you always doing these
things to destroy this relationship?
169
00:10:02,886 --> 00:10:04,512
You have to stop right now.
170
00:10:04,513 --> 00:10:04,554
Yes, and I'm sure your
wife feels the same way.
171
00:10:04,563 --> 00:10:07,801
Does it turn you on?
Does it make you hot?
172
00:10:07,802 --> 00:10:11,802
Does it scare you? Does
it minimize you as a man?
173
00:10:30,802 --> 00:10:33,241
- You're really gonna do this?
- I've decided.
174
00:10:33,242 --> 00:10:37,761
You've decided, or was it that article
in New York Magazine last month?
175
00:10:37,762 --> 00:10:39,801
- I've decided.
- Mm-hmm.
176
00:10:39,802 --> 00:10:42,201
I just think it's time, you know?
177
00:10:42,202 --> 00:10:45,761
- It's the one thing I haven't experienced.
- Of course it's time, sweetie.
178
00:10:45,762 --> 00:10:47,281
You go on with your frisky self,
179
00:10:47,282 --> 00:10:49,601
and don't let Mr. Fuddy-Duddy
piss on your parade.
180
00:10:49,602 --> 00:10:51,725
- Thank you.
- Mar?
181
00:10:52,162 --> 00:10:54,841
What is the problem?
She is trying new things.
182
00:10:54,842 --> 00:10:57,441
Sure. Today, sexual preference.
183
00:10:57,442 --> 00:11:00,121
- Tomorrow, Henna tattoos.
- Okay.
184
00:11:00,122 --> 00:11:02,641
So, let's see. Oscar
Wilde is too flip.
185
00:11:02,642 --> 00:11:06,767
Emily Dickinson is too trite.
It has to be just so.
186
00:11:06,962 --> 00:11:08,641
Maybe George Eliot.
187
00:11:08,642 --> 00:11:11,321
- Why do I have to have a quote again?
- Well, let's see.
188
00:11:11,322 --> 00:11:15,001
If it's brainy enough, it'll weed
out the real unwashed masses.
189
00:11:15,002 --> 00:11:17,801
And if it's well chosen,
you come across as someone
190
00:11:17,802 --> 00:11:20,561
who understands the plight
of your prospective partner,
191
00:11:20,562 --> 00:11:22,201
the plight of humanity.
192
00:11:22,202 --> 00:11:24,641
And by couching that understanding
in the words of a great writer,
193
00:11:24,642 --> 00:11:28,201
you appear sophisticated,
but earnest.
194
00:11:28,202 --> 00:11:30,161
- Grounded, but hopeful.
- Oh, my God!
195
00:11:30,162 --> 00:11:33,521
Sweetie, you're gonna have more pussy
than you know what to do with.
196
00:11:33,522 --> 00:11:36,641
- Here, take a look.
- Rilke?
197
00:11:36,642 --> 00:11:38,601
Rilke's very profound. Here.
198
00:11:38,602 --> 00:11:42,602
So the first thing you wanna do
is say, "For friendship or more."
199
00:11:43,362 --> 00:11:44,881
Wait. Why?
200
00:11:44,882 --> 00:11:47,682
Because then you have access to
all the bi-curious straight girls.
201
00:11:48,122 --> 00:11:50,161
Straight girls? But Bas...
202
00:11:50,162 --> 00:11:53,361
Trust me. Virgin flesh? Mangia.
203
00:11:53,362 --> 00:11:55,561
Bring that. Let's go.
204
00:11:55,562 --> 00:11:58,041
"Professional E-E, U-W-S,
205
00:11:58,042 --> 00:12:03,321
"V-G-L, N-S, D-W-M, seeking same."
206
00:12:03,322 --> 00:12:04,521
What could that mean?
207
00:12:04,522 --> 00:12:08,568
I'm not really versed in
single scene acronyms, so...
208
00:12:08,962 --> 00:12:12,361
- Listen to this one. This guy used a quote.
- That is so cheesy.
209
00:12:12,362 --> 00:12:14,401
"It is not inertia alone
that is responsible
210
00:12:14,402 --> 00:12:17,561
"for human relationships
repeating themselves.
211
00:12:17,562 --> 00:12:21,561
"It is shyness before..."
Blah, blah, blah, blah.
212
00:12:21,562 --> 00:12:24,081
- This one stinks.
- Actually, I think it's Freud.
213
00:12:24,082 --> 00:12:27,761
Rilke. Uh, one of those, I think.
214
00:12:27,762 --> 00:12:30,921
Sorry. Guess I should read on.
"But only someone..."
215
00:12:30,922 --> 00:12:33,841
Does he describe himself?
216
00:12:33,842 --> 00:12:36,281
Esoteric quote man? Let's see.
217
00:12:36,282 --> 00:12:39,681
Oh, that's women seeking women.
218
00:12:39,682 --> 00:12:42,961
You know what, guys? Um, I
really have a lot of work to do.
219
00:12:42,962 --> 00:12:46,841
- Would you mind terribly...
- No. No, no, no.
220
00:12:46,842 --> 00:12:50,205
Thanks. Sorry.
221
00:12:57,522 --> 00:12:59,961
- Jess? Charles can make it tonight after all.
- Yeah.
222
00:12:59,962 --> 00:13:02,241
- So you're gonna get to meet him.
- Oh, good.
223
00:13:02,242 --> 00:13:04,241
That would be great. Thanks.
224
00:13:04,242 --> 00:13:07,001
Hey, Joan, is it okay if
I bring a date tonight?
225
00:13:07,002 --> 00:13:11,093
- Sure. The more, the merrier.
- Great. I'll see you tonight.
226
00:13:12,002 --> 00:13:14,250
You invited Josh? Ew!
227
00:13:29,522 --> 00:13:31,921
Hey, it's Hel.
Leave it at the beep.
228
00:13:33,162 --> 00:13:35,121
Hi. My name's Nan, and I'm
calling about your ad.
229
00:13:35,122 --> 00:13:38,241
I'm looking for someone with
a big heart, an open mind,
230
00:13:38,242 --> 00:13:39,881
and an adventurous spirit.
231
00:13:39,882 --> 00:13:43,081
Also, in the long term, I'm looking for
someone to mother a child with me.
232
00:13:43,082 --> 00:13:45,041
Would you be into that?
233
00:13:46,882 --> 00:13:49,441
- Be quiet. You get it.
- Come on. It'll be adorable.
234
00:13:49,442 --> 00:13:52,881
It's not adorable. You are
totally loving this, aren't you?
235
00:13:52,882 --> 00:13:55,801
Please. I'm 160 pounds
and I wake up vomiting.
236
00:13:55,802 --> 00:13:57,681
I have to live through someone.
237
00:13:57,682 --> 00:13:59,841
- Go. He's looking.
- This is embarrassing.
238
00:13:59,842 --> 00:14:02,648
- Okay. Be quiet.
- He's staring. It's gonna be weird.
239
00:14:05,282 --> 00:14:07,881
- Hi. I'm Charles.
- Hi.
240
00:14:07,882 --> 00:14:10,130
Jessica.
241
00:14:12,282 --> 00:14:14,601
Hey, it's Hel.
Leave it at the beep.
242
00:14:14,602 --> 00:14:16,801
Hi, Helen. I'm calling
about your ad.
243
00:14:16,802 --> 00:14:19,521
I would really like to meet
you as soon as possible,
244
00:14:19,522 --> 00:14:21,521
because you sound really special.
245
00:14:21,522 --> 00:14:24,641
And to tell you the truth,
I'm hangin' on by a thread here,
246
00:14:24,642 --> 00:14:26,921
and I could really
use someone special.
247
00:14:26,922 --> 00:14:29,409
So just call me, okay?
248
00:14:34,002 --> 00:14:37,281
Sky's blue
249
00:14:37,282 --> 00:14:41,612
You know what I'm feeling
You know
250
00:14:42,642 --> 00:14:47,484
The very sweet sound
of your laughter
251
00:14:50,242 --> 00:14:52,681
Oh, my God. Whatever. I'm so happy
252
00:14:52,682 --> 00:14:55,408
to be eating a meal with intelligent
people, you have no idea.
253
00:14:55,882 --> 00:14:57,681
That's us?
254
00:14:57,682 --> 00:15:00,681
I know, right? So thank you all
for not being freaks or morons
255
00:15:00,682 --> 00:15:02,721
or using words incorrectly.
256
00:15:02,722 --> 00:15:04,924
Bless you all.
257
00:15:05,242 --> 00:15:07,881
Tell me about it. Most
people I meet at the salon
258
00:15:07,882 --> 00:15:10,244
are totally "malcompetent."
259
00:15:12,242 --> 00:15:15,321
So, Charles, what about you?
260
00:15:15,322 --> 00:15:18,881
Have you had a horrible
time out there too?
261
00:15:18,882 --> 00:15:20,241
Oh, uh...
262
00:15:20,242 --> 00:15:22,681
- I don't know. I do okay.
- Yeah?
263
00:15:22,682 --> 00:15:25,010
Actually, I just met
somebody pretty special.
264
00:15:28,282 --> 00:15:31,601
Her name's Michelle.
And it's early, but...
265
00:15:31,602 --> 00:15:34,281
- I don't know. It feels right.
- Charles.
266
00:15:34,282 --> 00:15:37,645
I thought you were single.
Didn't you tell me that, honey?
267
00:15:39,882 --> 00:15:41,041
Uh, I thought so.
268
00:15:41,042 --> 00:15:43,041
I'm sorry. Is this
supposed to be a setup?
269
00:15:43,042 --> 00:15:45,921
No, no. No way. Not a setup.
270
00:15:45,922 --> 00:15:48,201
Just a friendly dinner.
271
00:15:48,202 --> 00:15:50,881
- Absolutely. Just a group of friends.
- Yes.
272
00:15:50,882 --> 00:15:54,161
Matthew and I just like to have
our friends know each other.
273
00:15:54,162 --> 00:15:57,161
Well, you know, Jessica, don't
worry about it. I mean, it's...
274
00:15:57,162 --> 00:15:59,241
We've all been through it.
It's just a jungle out there.
275
00:15:59,242 --> 00:16:01,321
Yeah, especially for Stein. I mean,
276
00:16:01,322 --> 00:16:04,801
she always has trouble meeting
people who are good enough for her.
277
00:16:04,802 --> 00:16:07,881
Yeah. God, I wish I
had your luck, Josh.
278
00:16:07,882 --> 00:16:10,961
I see you have no trouble
meeting people of your caliber.
279
00:16:10,962 --> 00:16:12,961
You know, Stein, why don't
you cut yourself a break?
280
00:16:12,962 --> 00:16:15,201
It's obviously not the time
to be meeting someone anyway.
281
00:16:15,202 --> 00:16:17,641
- Really? What? Not the season?
- No.
282
00:16:17,642 --> 00:16:20,368
It's just because you're
clearly not open to it.
283
00:16:22,002 --> 00:16:24,401
Excuse me? I'm sorry.
How would you know?
284
00:16:24,402 --> 00:16:27,001
Well, I do have a little
history to draw from.
285
00:16:27,002 --> 00:16:30,001
But even if I didn't,
you've known Charles here
286
00:16:30,002 --> 00:16:32,001
for about an hour,
and in that time,
287
00:16:32,002 --> 00:16:34,361
you've insulted and
dismissed a panoply of men
288
00:16:34,362 --> 00:16:37,081
based on factors as reductive
as a linguistic misstep,
289
00:16:37,082 --> 00:16:41,361
a different view from yours on going Dutch,
a kind reaction to your legendary lateness,
290
00:16:41,362 --> 00:16:44,001
and a genuine interest in yoga.
291
00:16:44,002 --> 00:16:48,361
You know, I think it was
Anais Nin who said,
292
00:16:48,362 --> 00:16:50,801
"We don't see things as they are.
293
00:16:50,802 --> 00:16:52,801
"We see things as we are."
294
00:16:52,802 --> 00:16:55,641
Generally, I'm not
much of a Nin fan,
295
00:16:55,642 --> 00:16:59,361
but I do feel that bit
sums you up to a Stein.
296
00:16:59,362 --> 00:17:01,841
So I don't think the problem's
with these poor men,
297
00:17:01,842 --> 00:17:03,401
these freaks and
morons, as you put it.
298
00:17:03,402 --> 00:17:05,764
I think the problem is with you.
299
00:17:40,642 --> 00:17:42,765
Jessica?
300
00:17:43,402 --> 00:17:45,001
Jessica? I...
301
00:17:45,002 --> 00:17:48,041
- Hi. I was just looking for you.
- Hi.
302
00:17:48,042 --> 00:17:50,361
- Helen. Hi.
- Right. Hi.
303
00:17:50,362 --> 00:17:52,721
- Good to meet you.
- I'm sorry I'm so late.
304
00:17:52,722 --> 00:17:54,921
- I'm always late.
- Don't worry about it. Come sit.
305
00:17:54,922 --> 00:17:56,921
I hope you didn't wait long.
306
00:17:56,922 --> 00:17:58,921
No. Well, I was just
starting to get worried
307
00:17:58,922 --> 00:18:04,521
- that maybe you weren't gonna show at all.
- Yeah. Yeah.
308
00:18:04,522 --> 00:18:05,848
Um...
309
00:18:06,122 --> 00:18:08,165
Helen, right?
310
00:18:08,682 --> 00:18:10,801
You know, gosh. I should've
said this on the phone
311
00:18:10,802 --> 00:18:13,041
and I didn't, and...
312
00:18:13,042 --> 00:18:15,370
I'm sorry that I didn't, but
313
00:18:15,962 --> 00:18:20,531
you should really know
that this isn't me.
314
00:18:20,562 --> 00:18:22,412
- It isn't?
- Not at all.
315
00:18:22,762 --> 00:18:24,930
I'm sorry.
316
00:18:34,642 --> 00:18:37,161
Taxi!
317
00:18:39,122 --> 00:18:41,441
- Shit!
- Which part of it isn't you?
318
00:18:41,442 --> 00:18:43,641
Oh, uh, all of it.
319
00:18:43,642 --> 00:18:45,441
So why did you...
320
00:18:45,442 --> 00:18:47,441
Yeah, you know what? The truth is,
321
00:18:47,442 --> 00:18:50,121
I've been trying to be a little less
me lately, and that's why this.
322
00:18:50,122 --> 00:18:52,051
But, really, I'm still me, see?
323
00:18:52,282 --> 00:18:54,321
I see. Well, look.
324
00:18:54,322 --> 00:18:57,201
We don't have to do a whole big...
We could just get a drink.
325
00:18:57,202 --> 00:19:00,121
- Yeah, I don't think so. Taxi!
- Oh, come on.
326
00:19:00,122 --> 00:19:02,321
You don't wanna go to
your dinner so frazzled.
327
00:19:02,322 --> 00:19:04,761
My... Oh, my dinner. Right. Right.
328
00:19:04,762 --> 00:19:08,321
Yeah, I think a little red wine
would really help to, you know...
329
00:19:08,322 --> 00:19:10,441
Look, you seem really nice.
330
00:19:10,442 --> 00:19:12,201
I just... I made a mistake.
331
00:19:12,202 --> 00:19:14,370
I have to go.
332
00:19:21,962 --> 00:19:23,961
Oh! Oh, my...
333
00:19:23,962 --> 00:19:26,881
Oh, my God. I'm sorry.
334
00:19:26,882 --> 00:19:29,841
- Oh, God. I... You know what?
- Don't be silly.
335
00:19:29,842 --> 00:19:31,841
- I...
- Let me help you.
336
00:19:31,842 --> 00:19:37,201
I missed my yoga class this morning,
and I'm not my usual centered self.
337
00:19:37,202 --> 00:19:39,521
Do you do... Do you
do yoga regularly?
338
00:19:39,522 --> 00:19:42,401
- Is that something...
- Yeah, yeah. Every day, actually.
339
00:19:42,402 --> 00:19:45,361
I find it keeps me really
strong and energized,
340
00:19:45,362 --> 00:19:47,361
and usually graceful.
341
00:19:47,362 --> 00:19:49,361
Right. I've heard that.
342
00:19:49,362 --> 00:19:51,681
- Have you never tried it?
- Oh, no, no, no.
343
00:19:51,682 --> 00:19:54,361
I don't think I could sit
still and breathe for long.
344
00:19:54,362 --> 00:19:57,361
- I'd panic.
- So what do you like to do for exercise?
345
00:19:57,362 --> 00:20:00,761
Oh, um, I like basic exercise.
346
00:20:00,762 --> 00:20:04,041
I like to run or walk. Just
keep moving, you know?
347
00:20:04,042 --> 00:20:06,521
I feel like as long as
I'm moving, I'm safe.
348
00:20:06,522 --> 00:20:09,441
- What do you do when you're sleeping?
- I'm a terrible insomniac.
349
00:20:09,442 --> 00:20:11,481
I'm so sorry. Since when?
350
00:20:11,482 --> 00:20:13,881
I don't know. Birth.
351
00:20:13,882 --> 00:20:16,681
Well, listen, if you ever change
your mind and wanna try a class,
352
00:20:16,682 --> 00:20:18,721
- I'd be happy to...
- Yeah, I don't think so.
353
00:20:18,722 --> 00:20:21,361
Well, don't decide right now.
354
00:20:21,362 --> 00:20:24,088
Just let it marinate for a while.
355
00:20:25,202 --> 00:20:26,528
Um...
356
00:20:26,722 --> 00:20:27,961
Okay.
357
00:20:27,962 --> 00:20:30,642
I will let it "marinate."
358
00:20:34,082 --> 00:20:36,250
I am never gonna get a cab.
359
00:20:38,882 --> 00:20:41,561
Maybe just one drink.
360
00:20:41,562 --> 00:20:45,448
Okay, just... I have,
like, 20 minutes.
361
00:20:45,562 --> 00:20:49,081
Well, wait, wait. This Larry,
that must've been pretty serious,
362
00:20:49,082 --> 00:20:52,281
- if he proposed?
- No, no. I mean... No, it was.
363
00:20:52,282 --> 00:20:54,281
- It was.
- Well, what happened?
364
00:20:54,282 --> 00:20:56,561
I... it wasn't right.
365
00:20:56,562 --> 00:20:58,601
He just wasn't funny, you know?
366
00:20:58,602 --> 00:21:01,081
- Bummer.
- I think that's been my big thing.
367
00:21:01,082 --> 00:21:04,968
Not smart or not funny, or
not smart and not funny.
368
00:21:06,002 --> 00:21:07,601
Or smart,
369
00:21:07,602 --> 00:21:10,801
but funny in a totally
unappealing way.
370
00:21:10,802 --> 00:21:12,921
You know? Just like
funny/stupid, or funny/dopey,
371
00:21:12,922 --> 00:21:16,761
but not funny/witty or funny/ironic
or funny/goofy, you know?
372
00:21:16,762 --> 00:21:20,921
Or they seem smart, and then you
realize that they aren't at all.
373
00:21:20,922 --> 00:21:24,490
And that's funny, but funny/tragic.
374
00:21:25,482 --> 00:21:26,683
Hmm.
375
00:21:28,362 --> 00:21:30,481
So anyway, if you're
then lucky enough
376
00:21:30,482 --> 00:21:33,441
to find someone who's the good kind
of smart and the good kind of funny,
377
00:21:33,442 --> 00:21:36,009
then generally they're
just kind of...
378
00:21:36,482 --> 00:21:39,441
- Ugly.
- Ugly.
379
00:21:39,442 --> 00:21:40,881
Ugly. I'm sorry.
380
00:21:40,882 --> 00:21:43,481
- Yes, a little. Is that... That's awful, right?
- No.
381
00:21:43,482 --> 00:21:45,481
Ugly doesn't do it
for you. That's okay.
382
00:21:45,482 --> 00:21:48,161
- Me, I'm kind of into ugly.
- What?
383
00:21:48,162 --> 00:21:50,321
As long as it's sexy-ugly.
384
00:21:50,322 --> 00:21:53,361
Sexy-ugly? I... Define.
385
00:21:53,362 --> 00:21:57,533
Well, you can't. It just is,
you know? Sexy-ugly.
386
00:21:57,602 --> 00:21:59,641
Okay, well,
387
00:21:59,642 --> 00:22:02,681
could you... Could you
give me a celebrity
388
00:22:02,682 --> 00:22:05,081
- who would fall into the category?
- Yeah.
389
00:22:05,082 --> 00:22:08,968
Hold on a second. I'll get you one.
390
00:22:09,122 --> 00:22:11,081
Angelica Huston?
391
00:22:11,082 --> 00:22:14,401
- Is that kind of the right idea?
- Yeah, I guess.
392
00:22:14,402 --> 00:22:17,321
I was gonna say Mick Jagger.
He's the big one.
393
00:22:17,322 --> 00:22:22,244
Lyle Lovett, James
Woods, Harvey Keitel.
394
00:22:22,722 --> 00:22:24,161
Very sexy-ugly.
395
00:22:24,162 --> 00:22:26,241
- Oh.
- Yeah.
396
00:22:26,242 --> 00:22:30,049
So, uh... So you're not...
397
00:22:31,002 --> 00:22:35,730
I mean, you've-you've tried...
398
00:22:36,322 --> 00:22:38,570
You've dated men.
399
00:22:39,202 --> 00:22:41,521
- Of course.
- Oh, good!
400
00:22:41,522 --> 00:22:43,641
- What?
- Good. I'm... No, I'm relieved.
401
00:22:43,642 --> 00:22:48,006
I just... I assumed that you had...
402
00:22:49,482 --> 00:22:52,447
Oh, I have, also.
403
00:22:53,002 --> 00:22:54,801
Yeah, I...
404
00:22:54,802 --> 00:22:57,403
I just find a lot of
different things sexy.
405
00:22:57,682 --> 00:22:58,881
Oh.
406
00:22:58,882 --> 00:23:00,925
I don't.
407
00:23:02,682 --> 00:23:04,761
So, should we settle the tab?
408
00:23:04,762 --> 00:23:08,250
- What?
- Yeah, it's 8:10. Don't you have a...
409
00:23:08,562 --> 00:23:10,241
- Oh, uh, no.
- You don't?
410
00:23:10,242 --> 00:23:12,968
- No. I lied.
- But I thought...
411
00:23:16,322 --> 00:23:18,331
I know a great Indian place.
412
00:23:20,242 --> 00:23:23,241
- Helen? Can I ask you a question?
- Yeah?
413
00:23:23,242 --> 00:23:26,048
- Sure.
- What color lipstick are you wearing?
414
00:23:26,082 --> 00:23:29,445
Well, it's three different
kinds. I blend.
415
00:23:29,562 --> 00:23:31,241
- Really?
- Yeah.
416
00:23:31,242 --> 00:23:34,401
- Really? Wow.
- Would you like to know the...
417
00:23:34,402 --> 00:23:35,961
Would you feel comfortable?
418
00:23:35,962 --> 00:23:37,561
- No, of course.
- Is that something...
419
00:23:37,562 --> 00:23:41,201
I'd love to share. I start
with Mac Viva Glam Ill,
420
00:23:41,202 --> 00:23:42,721
- which is a great base.
- Right.
421
00:23:42,722 --> 00:23:44,401
And then I add Prescriptive's
Poodle on top.
422
00:23:44,402 --> 00:23:45,721
I love Prescriptive's.
423
00:23:45,722 --> 00:23:47,321
- Isn't it the best?
- It has the best texture.
424
00:23:47,322 --> 00:23:48,921
The moisture and the spray.
425
00:23:48,922 --> 00:23:54,081
And then I finish with Philosophy
Supernatural Nude, which is more of a...
426
00:23:54,082 --> 00:23:56,801
- Of a glossy kind of thing?
- Exactly. For the shine.
427
00:23:56,802 --> 00:23:59,281
Right. Right. Wow.
428
00:23:59,282 --> 00:24:01,801
- That's it.
- Wow.
429
00:24:01,802 --> 00:24:05,281
Well, it looks just
beautiful on you.
430
00:24:05,282 --> 00:24:07,881
Oh, thank you. Hey, you
should try it yourself.
431
00:24:07,882 --> 00:24:10,121
It would look gorgeous
on your complexion.
432
00:24:10,122 --> 00:24:12,561
Oh, thank you. But...
433
00:24:12,562 --> 00:24:17,841
Yeah, the blending thing is a little
labor-intensive for me, you know?
434
00:24:17,842 --> 00:24:20,241
I'm kind of looking for that one.
435
00:24:20,242 --> 00:24:22,561
Well, you'll never find it.
436
00:24:22,562 --> 00:24:24,890
I'm telling you, blend.
437
00:24:26,482 --> 00:24:30,001
- All right, so tell me again.
- Okay.
438
00:24:30,002 --> 00:24:32,681
- Roland, Steven and Craig...
- Greg.
439
00:24:32,682 --> 00:24:38,173
Greg. Right, okay. And...
Do you have a favorite?
440
00:24:39,482 --> 00:24:42,003
No, not particularly.
441
00:24:43,482 --> 00:24:47,001
Well, does one of them get
more time than everyone else?
442
00:24:47,002 --> 00:24:49,443
- Or, you know, a favorite one?
- No.
443
00:24:50,962 --> 00:24:54,721
I mean, basically, I call
Roland when I'm hungry,
444
00:24:54,722 --> 00:24:58,051
Steven when I'm bored,
and Greg when I'm horny.
445
00:24:58,162 --> 00:25:02,048
- Who do you call when you're sick?
- I don't get sick.
446
00:25:02,522 --> 00:25:04,161
Good system.
447
00:25:04,162 --> 00:25:06,841
That's crazy!
Who doesn't do E-mail?
448
00:25:06,842 --> 00:25:09,041
I hate computers. I object to them.
449
00:25:09,042 --> 00:25:11,161
- But you must use them at the office.
- Yes.
450
00:25:11,162 --> 00:25:13,921
At work I'm forced to,
but never at home.
451
00:25:13,922 --> 00:25:18,001
I mean, even at the office I don't
send E-mails. I just receive them.
452
00:25:18,002 --> 00:25:20,681
But... But...
453
00:25:20,682 --> 00:25:21,801
What?
454
00:25:21,802 --> 00:25:23,841
Have you discussed this
with your therapist?
455
00:25:23,842 --> 00:25:25,841
Oh, no.
456
00:25:25,842 --> 00:25:28,881
- There's too much on the agenda already.
- Like what?
457
00:25:28,882 --> 00:25:31,521
Um, just the usual.
458
00:25:31,522 --> 00:25:34,801
Older, nothing to show for it, no kids
or anything, why am I on the planet?
459
00:25:34,802 --> 00:25:37,442
Like that. God, they're so crazy.
460
00:25:37,602 --> 00:25:40,646
- No more so than anyone else.
- What?
461
00:25:41,722 --> 00:25:43,161
A little more so, I'd say.
462
00:25:43,162 --> 00:25:46,601
- I don't think so.
- But they are, objectively.
463
00:25:46,602 --> 00:25:48,601
I think they're, you know,
just doing their thing.
464
00:25:48,602 --> 00:25:50,121
They don't do anything.
465
00:25:50,122 --> 00:25:52,561
They play the tambourine all
day and ask people for money.
466
00:25:52,562 --> 00:25:54,764
- They have no goals.
- I think they have a pretty lofty goal.
467
00:25:54,962 --> 00:25:57,281
Really? What? New robes?
468
00:25:57,282 --> 00:25:59,561
- Spiritual enlightenment, happiness.
- Come on.
469
00:25:59,562 --> 00:26:02,321
- They're weird. Look at them.
- They're happy.
470
00:26:02,322 --> 00:26:03,641
- They're happy.
- What?
471
00:26:03,642 --> 00:26:07,361
Some people smoke pot. Some people
bungee jump. Some people chant.
472
00:26:07,362 --> 00:26:12,841
- What do you do to be happy?
- Nothing. I'm not. Wait, wait, wait.
473
00:26:12,842 --> 00:26:16,401
I have a job. I mean, I'm
accomplishing something in the world.
474
00:26:16,402 --> 00:26:18,161
Oh, really? What are
you accomplishing?
475
00:26:18,162 --> 00:26:20,361
I'm bringing the news to people.
476
00:26:20,362 --> 00:26:22,281
You know, information?
I'm being a grown-up.
477
00:26:22,282 --> 00:26:25,081
I'm not just out for me and my
enlightenment. What they do is selfish.
478
00:26:25,082 --> 00:26:27,481
Selfish? They are dealing
with their stuff
479
00:26:27,482 --> 00:26:29,081
and the energy they put
out to the universe.
480
00:26:29,082 --> 00:26:31,281
That's a lot more valuable than
being miserable all the time.
481
00:26:31,282 --> 00:26:33,801
Wait a second. I'm sorry.
482
00:26:33,802 --> 00:26:36,921
Are you saying that
my life has no value?
483
00:26:36,922 --> 00:26:40,441
No! I am saying that maybe
underneath all the neurosis,
484
00:26:40,442 --> 00:26:44,361
you have a profound capacity for happiness
that you're not allowing to exist.
485
00:26:44,362 --> 00:26:47,161
- How do you know? You just met me.
- You can't possibly know
486
00:26:47,162 --> 00:26:49,441
who you are or how you'll respond
to something until you try it.
487
00:26:49,442 --> 00:26:51,961
I happen to disagree. I happen to
think if you know yourself well,
488
00:26:51,962 --> 00:26:53,841
you can gauge how you're
gonna react to something.
489
00:26:53,842 --> 00:26:56,121
And I can pretty much assure you
that I will never be made happy
490
00:26:56,122 --> 00:26:58,201
by chanting for spiritual
enlightenment.
491
00:26:58,202 --> 00:27:01,081
- Or maybe you would. You can't know.
- Trust me. I know.
492
00:27:01,082 --> 00:27:02,831
- You know?
- Yeah, I know.
493
00:27:08,895 --> 00:27:10,734
Come on. Since when does she
care about what I think?
494
00:27:10,735 --> 00:27:14,734
Josh, she left before dessert.
I think she was a little upset.
495
00:27:14,735 --> 00:27:16,094
Well, did you talk to
her over the weekend?
496
00:27:16,095 --> 00:27:17,294
I left her three messages.
497
00:27:17,295 --> 00:27:20,294
She didn't return any of my calls.
I think she's devastated.
498
00:27:20,295 --> 00:27:22,294
Hey, you guys!
499
00:27:22,295 --> 00:27:24,974
I brought doughnuts.
500
00:27:38,255 --> 00:27:42,654
Look, Stein, you know, I just wanna
apologize for what I said on Friday night.
501
00:27:42,655 --> 00:27:45,774
Oh, hey, no problem. You had an
opinion and you expressed it.
502
00:27:45,775 --> 00:27:49,138
- Maybe you were right.
- No, I mean, really. I mean, who am I to...
503
00:27:49,855 --> 00:27:51,094
What did you say?
504
00:27:51,095 --> 00:27:53,377
I said, maybe you were right.
505
00:27:54,175 --> 00:27:57,734
Right. Glad there are
no hard feelings.
506
00:27:57,735 --> 00:27:59,774
- Yeah. Hey, Josh?
- Yeah.
507
00:27:59,775 --> 00:28:02,094
Do you ever use
"marinate" as a verb?
508
00:28:02,095 --> 00:28:06,061
I mean, no, not as a verb. As a verb
in other arenas than food preparation?
509
00:28:06,255 --> 00:28:08,454
- What do you mean? Like, "To sit with"?
- Right, right, right.
510
00:28:08,455 --> 00:28:12,023
To sit with something.
To let something marinate.
511
00:28:12,135 --> 00:28:14,986
- No.
- Oh. I love it.
512
00:28:30,152 --> 00:28:32,151
- Hi.
- Hi.
513
00:28:32,152 --> 00:28:34,151
- Hi. Come in, please.
- Hi.
514
00:28:34,152 --> 00:28:36,351
- Thank you.
- Hi.
515
00:28:36,352 --> 00:28:39,071
- Hi.
- Wow.
516
00:28:39,072 --> 00:28:41,831
- You look great.
- No, thank you.
517
00:28:41,832 --> 00:28:45,031
No. You-You do.
I'm a mess, actually.
518
00:28:45,032 --> 00:28:48,031
- Those shoes are gorgeous.
- Oh, thanks for noticing.
519
00:28:48,032 --> 00:28:50,031
- Are they Nine West?
- No, Kenneth Cole.
520
00:28:50,032 --> 00:28:52,431
- You're kidding!
- No.
521
00:28:52,432 --> 00:28:55,031
Well, they're very sexy.
522
00:28:55,032 --> 00:28:57,391
They suit you.
523
00:28:57,392 --> 00:29:00,031
Uh, can we cut to the
chase for a sec?
524
00:29:00,032 --> 00:29:02,631
Just get the hard
topics out of the way.
525
00:29:02,632 --> 00:29:05,039
Sure. What's on your mind?
526
00:29:05,512 --> 00:29:07,551
Well,
527
00:29:07,552 --> 00:29:09,551
it's just that
528
00:29:09,552 --> 00:29:13,631
whenever I've thought about
lesbianism in the past,
529
00:29:13,632 --> 00:29:15,631
I've always said, "Ew," you know?
530
00:29:15,632 --> 00:29:18,711
Just, "Ew. Can't go there.
Can't get excited."
531
00:29:18,712 --> 00:29:21,751
- I mean, what would we do? You know?
- Right, right.
532
00:29:21,752 --> 00:29:24,471
- I mean, this is your big issue.
- Right, right.
533
00:29:24,472 --> 00:29:28,871
But I had such a wonderful
time with you the other night.
534
00:29:28,872 --> 00:29:30,151
- Me too.
- I really did.
535
00:29:30,152 --> 00:29:34,191
And I've been marinating on things.
536
00:29:34,192 --> 00:29:37,953
And, um... Anyway...
537
00:29:38,392 --> 00:29:42,231
I have taken the liberty of getting some
informational materials on the topic,
538
00:29:42,232 --> 00:29:44,871
- and I wondered if I might...
- Of course.
539
00:29:44,872 --> 00:29:47,431
Okay, okay. Well...
540
00:29:47,432 --> 00:29:50,591
This one leaflet was
particularly intriguing to me,
541
00:29:50,592 --> 00:29:52,111
Lesbian Sex: Hot, Safe and Sane.
542
00:29:52,112 --> 00:29:56,031
- Do you know it?
- Uh, no. But please, share.
543
00:29:56,032 --> 00:29:58,031
- I'd love to see it.
- Okay.
544
00:29:58,032 --> 00:30:01,831
Well, I was surprised to learn
that lesbians accessorize.
545
00:30:01,832 --> 00:30:04,511
I didn't know that.
So, for example,
546
00:30:04,512 --> 00:30:07,311
on page 11, I dogeared it,
547
00:30:07,312 --> 00:30:13,235
they show some of the higher-tech
lesbian accoutrement.
548
00:30:15,152 --> 00:30:17,671
Wow.
549
00:30:17,672 --> 00:30:19,911
- Wow.
- Yeah.
550
00:30:19,912 --> 00:30:24,791
So, gosh, how would this work?
551
00:30:24,792 --> 00:30:28,431
Well, I think I would
just strap that on and...
552
00:30:28,432 --> 00:30:29,991
Oh, no, no, no. That's not fair.
553
00:30:29,992 --> 00:30:32,511
We should certainly trade
off and share the load
554
00:30:32,512 --> 00:30:35,071
in terms of giving and receiving.
555
00:30:35,072 --> 00:30:38,151
But that doesn't address the actual
gross-out factor, if you will.
556
00:30:38,152 --> 00:30:39,911
No offense. No offense.
557
00:30:39,912 --> 00:30:42,631
- No, none taken.
- Okay, 'cause, I mean, look at you.
558
00:30:42,632 --> 00:30:44,991
Who wouldn't wanna have
sex with you, right?
559
00:30:44,992 --> 00:30:47,511
I mean, do you. But...
560
00:30:47,512 --> 00:30:50,311
Look, Jess, let's not put the
cart before the horse here
561
00:30:50,312 --> 00:30:54,471
with all the high-tech stuff, you know,
'cause we don't need any of that.
562
00:30:54,472 --> 00:30:56,276
We don't?
563
00:30:58,192 --> 00:31:00,271
I myself have always preferred
564
00:31:00,272 --> 00:31:03,751
the standard, organic,
old-fashioned way.
565
00:31:03,752 --> 00:31:06,558
Right. You're right.
566
00:31:06,592 --> 00:31:09,151
So that'd be just...
567
00:31:09,152 --> 00:31:12,191
- Thank you.
- Well, it's basically the same as with a man,
568
00:31:12,192 --> 00:31:15,111
except minus one thing, you know?
569
00:31:15,112 --> 00:31:17,311
Right, right. Yes, well, right.
570
00:31:17,312 --> 00:31:20,511
And let's face it, it's the other stuff
that works for women anyway, right?
571
00:31:20,512 --> 00:31:24,239
Yes, well, that is, um...
That is true.
572
00:31:24,872 --> 00:31:26,234
Cheers.
573
00:31:26,248 --> 00:31:28,685
- I thought you said you really liked her.
- I did.
574
00:31:28,686 --> 00:31:31,845
- I do. It's just not working out.
- Why not?
575
00:31:31,846 --> 00:31:33,925
- Because she's a cock tease!
- Oh, my.
576
00:31:33,926 --> 00:31:36,245
I mean, a tease.
577
00:31:36,246 --> 00:31:39,245
- A poon tease.
- Right. Right.
578
00:31:39,246 --> 00:31:42,765
And she's nervous and
neurotic and straight
579
00:31:42,766 --> 00:31:45,045
and not that into it,
and I don't have time.
580
00:31:45,046 --> 00:31:48,205
I took out an ad, for Christ's sake, and
I end up with the Jewish Sandra Dee.
581
00:31:48,206 --> 00:31:51,525
What are the odds? Who do you have to
blow to get some pussy around here?
582
00:31:51,526 --> 00:31:54,205
- You know, enough is enough.
- On to the next.
583
00:31:54,206 --> 00:31:56,125
- Onwards and upwards.
- Right, right.
584
00:31:57,446 --> 00:32:00,005
Plus, she doesn't even get it.
She thinks it's going great.
585
00:32:00,006 --> 00:32:02,965
Schuller Gallery. Hi.
586
00:32:02,966 --> 00:32:06,325
Hi. How are you?
587
00:32:06,326 --> 00:32:09,085
Yeah... No, that's fine.
588
00:32:09,086 --> 00:32:13,965
Why would I mind?
No, 8:00 is perfect.
589
00:32:13,966 --> 00:32:16,725
Okay, I'll see you there.
590
00:32:16,726 --> 00:32:18,965
Bye.
591
00:32:18,966 --> 00:32:21,407
Is she 12?
592
00:32:24,246 --> 00:32:25,485
You a little jumpy today, Stein?
593
00:32:25,486 --> 00:32:27,365
- No.
- You got a hot date.
594
00:32:27,366 --> 00:32:30,245
- No.
- Yeah. Who's the guy?
595
00:32:30,246 --> 00:32:33,285
- There is no guy.
- Come on. You're a terrible, terrible liar.
596
00:32:33,286 --> 00:32:35,965
Trust me. There is no guy.
597
00:32:35,966 --> 00:32:38,325
When the special girlfriend
598
00:32:38,326 --> 00:32:41,005
Meets a special girlfriend
599
00:32:41,006 --> 00:32:42,285
For a little shopping
600
00:32:42,286 --> 00:32:45,605
Shop-to-shop they're hopping
Shopping without stopping
601
00:32:45,606 --> 00:32:48,125
There's no greater pleasure
602
00:32:48,126 --> 00:32:50,405
Than to shop together
603
00:32:50,406 --> 00:32:52,805
And the special girlfriend
tells the special girlfriend
604
00:32:52,806 --> 00:32:55,045
You're my special girlfriend
605
00:32:55,046 --> 00:32:57,165
Oh, you're my favorite girlfriend
606
00:32:57,166 --> 00:32:59,805
My sweet and pretty girlfriend
607
00:32:59,806 --> 00:33:02,805
I trust you, my girlfriend
608
00:33:02,806 --> 00:33:05,045
To keep our secrets girlfriend
609
00:33:05,046 --> 00:33:07,285
When the special girlfriend
610
00:33:07,286 --> 00:33:09,605
Meets a special girlfriend
611
00:33:09,606 --> 00:33:12,165
With great tenderness she'll
tell her friend she's special
612
00:33:12,166 --> 00:33:16,885
Oh, my special
Oh, my special girlfriend
613
00:33:16,886 --> 00:33:20,125
So, what does my special
girlfriend say about that?
614
00:33:20,126 --> 00:33:22,285
Well, I can only tell you one thing
615
00:33:22,286 --> 00:33:25,165
If I didn't have you,
we'd get on so well
616
00:33:25,166 --> 00:33:28,529
- We'd get on so awfully well
- How well we'd get on together
617
00:33:30,806 --> 00:33:32,005
Sorry.
618
00:33:32,006 --> 00:33:33,208
Please take me with you.
619
00:33:33,227 --> 00:33:35,636
Look, are you sure you don't mind?
My office is really close.
620
00:33:35,637 --> 00:33:38,196
It'll only take a second. What?
621
00:33:38,197 --> 00:33:40,320
Guy on stoop.
622
00:33:44,797 --> 00:33:47,116
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
623
00:33:47,117 --> 00:33:49,436
Wow. I get it.
624
00:33:49,437 --> 00:33:52,641
- Sexy-ugly.
- I still could never.
625
00:33:53,637 --> 00:33:55,521
It's part of my reading series.
626
00:33:57,477 --> 00:34:00,487
- Shit. Shit. What is he doing here?
- Who?
627
00:34:00,957 --> 00:34:03,796
Nobody. My boss. Come on. Shh.
628
00:34:03,797 --> 00:34:06,316
Right over here.
629
00:34:06,317 --> 00:34:09,196
Hey, Stein. I just can't
keep you out of here, can I?
630
00:34:10,597 --> 00:34:11,916
Hi.
631
00:34:11,917 --> 00:34:14,036
- I'm Josh Meyers.
- Helen Cooper. We're just...
632
00:34:14,037 --> 00:34:16,365
Friends from the gym.
633
00:34:16,517 --> 00:34:18,796
Stein has the pleasure
of working for me.
634
00:34:18,797 --> 00:34:22,516
So you must be that "complete
asshole" she's always talking about?
635
00:34:24,157 --> 00:34:25,796
Don't mind her.
636
00:34:25,797 --> 00:34:28,716
She's just working out some
residual anger from college.
637
00:34:28,717 --> 00:34:31,316
- You guys went to college together?
- No.
638
00:34:31,317 --> 00:34:33,556
He went with my brother. I was a
freshman when they were seniors.
639
00:34:33,557 --> 00:34:36,036
- We dated for a year.
- Really?
640
00:34:36,037 --> 00:34:37,236
Mm-hmm.
641
00:34:37,237 --> 00:34:39,156
So, what happened?
642
00:34:39,157 --> 00:34:41,596
Well, she didn't think I was
living up to my potential.
643
00:34:41,597 --> 00:34:42,796
Which was what?
644
00:34:42,797 --> 00:34:44,476
She thought I was gonna
be the next Hemingway.
645
00:34:44,477 --> 00:34:46,476
Whatever. He was an
extremely talented writer.
646
00:34:46,477 --> 00:34:49,356
Now he's a professional "I" dotter
and "T" crosser. Let's just get...
647
00:34:49,357 --> 00:34:51,556
We thought Stein was gonna
be the next Georgia O'Keefe,
648
00:34:51,557 --> 00:34:54,396
but she's actually turned out to be
a pretty good "T" crosser herself.
649
00:34:54,397 --> 00:34:57,636
- Okay, a pleasure as always, Josh.
- You paint? I had no idea.
650
00:34:57,637 --> 00:35:01,076
I'm really a hack. I don't at all. We
can go. I just gotta get this one thing.
651
00:35:01,077 --> 00:35:03,156
Listen, can I just
use the bathroom?
652
00:35:03,157 --> 00:35:05,883
Oh, yeah. I'm sorry. It's,
653
00:35:06,157 --> 00:35:09,676
through that door, and it's right at the
elevator, left at the water fountain.
654
00:35:09,677 --> 00:35:11,925
It's left at the water fountain.
655
00:35:22,957 --> 00:35:26,196
But it's not... There's no...
It's not, "You will be wise.
656
00:35:26,197 --> 00:35:29,236
"You will gain great wisdom through
some life-altering event."
657
00:35:29,237 --> 00:35:32,876
It's simply, "You are..."
What does yours say?
658
00:35:32,877 --> 00:35:35,836
- "Home is where the heart lies."
- Okay, you got an adage.
659
00:35:35,837 --> 00:35:37,836
- Well, so what? I like adages.
- You got an adage.
660
00:35:37,837 --> 00:35:40,156
The whole notion of the
fortune cookie is a sham.
661
00:35:40,157 --> 00:35:43,476
I mean, when does
anyone... Excuse me?
662
00:35:43,477 --> 00:35:44,676
When does anyone get a fortune?
663
00:35:44,677 --> 00:35:45,916
- I'd like to know.
- It's all right.
664
00:35:45,917 --> 00:35:49,316
I'm sorry. There are no
fortunes being dispensed here.
665
00:35:49,317 --> 00:35:50,756
- I mean, it's a misnomer...
- Hey, hey.
666
00:35:50,757 --> 00:35:52,800
Sorry to interrupt
this big debate here,
667
00:35:52,997 --> 00:35:56,996
but me and my friends over at the
bar have a little pool going.
668
00:35:56,997 --> 00:36:01,116
Basically, we wanna determine which
one of you is more beautiful.
669
00:36:01,117 --> 00:36:02,756
- Oh, right.
- Who won?
670
00:36:02,757 --> 00:36:05,436
You see, that's the thing. We're sittin'
over there scratching our heads,
671
00:36:05,437 --> 00:36:07,156
- 'cause it's close, you know?
- Right.
672
00:36:07,157 --> 00:36:11,036
We thought we'd come over here and buy
you some drinks, do some research.
673
00:36:11,037 --> 00:36:14,916
- I think we're fine, thanks.
- No, please join us. We would love that.
674
00:36:14,917 --> 00:36:16,516
What?
675
00:36:16,517 --> 00:36:18,916
Because we were just trying
to settle an argument too.
676
00:36:18,917 --> 00:36:22,036
- Really? What about?
- Well...
677
00:36:22,037 --> 00:36:24,756
- No, it's kind of weird.
- Come on. Tell us.
678
00:36:24,757 --> 00:36:26,756
Okay. We were just wondering
679
00:36:26,757 --> 00:36:29,276
whether a woman who's
only been with men
680
00:36:29,277 --> 00:36:32,162
could ever be sexually
attracted to a woman?
681
00:36:33,277 --> 00:36:35,636
What do you think?
Do you think she could?
682
00:36:35,637 --> 00:36:37,676
Well, hey, I think she
could. Definitely.
683
00:36:37,677 --> 00:36:41,596
- If she couldn't, she should.
- God!
684
00:36:41,597 --> 00:36:43,156
- What is that about?
- What?
685
00:36:43,157 --> 00:36:46,356
What is that male obsession with
lesbian sex about? I don't get it.
686
00:36:46,357 --> 00:36:47,596
You know what? You don't
have to answer that.
687
00:36:47,597 --> 00:36:48,756
Oh, come on!
688
00:36:48,757 --> 00:36:51,556
- It's just sexy, right?
- Yeah.
689
00:36:51,557 --> 00:36:54,876
It's kind of hard to describe. I mean,
a woman alone is sexy, God bless.
690
00:36:54,877 --> 00:36:57,836
But two women together
is like... It's like...
691
00:36:57,837 --> 00:36:59,756
- Double sexy.
- Right.
692
00:36:59,757 --> 00:37:01,756
- Double sexy? Wow.
- Yeah.
693
00:37:01,757 --> 00:37:03,956
Wow. That's nicely put.
694
00:37:03,957 --> 00:37:06,796
Yeah, that, really is nicely put.
695
00:37:06,797 --> 00:37:09,156
But tell us exactly,
696
00:37:09,157 --> 00:37:11,916
exactly what is it about
two women together
697
00:37:11,917 --> 00:37:14,116
- that you find so exciting?
- Yeah.
698
00:37:14,117 --> 00:37:16,836
Come on. You know, their whole...
699
00:37:16,837 --> 00:37:20,041
Their whole thing, you know?
Like, the way they touch.
700
00:37:20,357 --> 00:37:21,038
Really? How do they touch?
701
00:37:21,056 --> 00:37:24,844
You know, when they... Well, a woman
is soft, so when they touch each other,
702
00:37:24,845 --> 00:37:24,851
it's, like, they're soft.
703
00:37:24,859 --> 00:37:27,081
Women really know how to touch.
704
00:37:27,082 --> 00:37:30,441
But what would they do, I wonder?
705
00:37:30,442 --> 00:37:30,448
Who cares what they'd do!
706
00:37:30,463 --> 00:37:30,523
Just two women's bodies
together is just hot!
707
00:37:30,717 --> 00:37:34,884
Their hips, their legs, their belly
buttons. I mean, it's all good.
708
00:37:34,890 --> 00:37:35,785
They know how everything
works in there.
709
00:37:35,786 --> 00:37:37,465
Like how what works?
710
00:37:37,466 --> 00:37:40,545
- Jess, what's the matter?
- Nothing. Nothing.
711
00:37:40,546 --> 00:37:43,670
It's just I have a
slight leg cramp.
712
00:37:44,186 --> 00:37:45,985
You really should
get that looked at.
713
00:37:45,986 --> 00:37:49,785
- Yeah. Yeah. Thank you for the concern.
- No problem.
714
00:37:49,786 --> 00:37:53,985
You know what, guys? I think we
really, really have to get going.
715
00:37:53,986 --> 00:37:56,105
- Oh, no!
- Can't we get you a drink or something?
716
00:37:56,106 --> 00:37:58,865
No, no. You know what? I'm a little
worried about Jessica's leg.
717
00:37:58,866 --> 00:38:01,546
- Yeah.
- And I really think I should get her into bed.
718
00:38:01,826 --> 00:38:03,225
Well, it was nice meeting you.
719
00:38:03,226 --> 00:38:05,625
- Take care.
- Bye.
720
00:38:05,626 --> 00:38:07,425
You see? That's the
thing about women.
721
00:38:07,426 --> 00:38:09,466
They really know how to
take care of each other.
722
00:38:09,469 --> 00:38:09,482
Love makes me treat you
723
00:38:09,601 --> 00:38:13,240
In the way that I do
724
00:38:13,241 --> 00:38:16,809
And gee, baby
Ain't I good to you
725
00:38:19,521 --> 00:38:23,000
There's nothing in this
world too good for a girl
726
00:38:23,001 --> 00:38:25,520
So good and true
727
00:38:25,521 --> 00:38:29,123
Gee, baby
Ain't I good to you
728
00:38:31,601 --> 00:38:35,080
Bought you a fur coat for Christmas
729
00:38:35,081 --> 00:38:37,602
A diamond ring
730
00:38:38,001 --> 00:38:41,040
A big Cadillac car
731
00:38:41,041 --> 00:38:43,760
And everything
732
00:38:43,761 --> 00:38:46,040
What makes me treat you
733
00:38:46,041 --> 00:38:48,760
The way that I do
734
00:38:48,761 --> 00:38:50,884
How's the patient?
735
00:38:50,921 --> 00:38:52,885
This is so humiliating.
736
00:38:53,361 --> 00:38:55,600
It's best not to talk. Don't talk.
737
00:38:55,601 --> 00:38:57,720
Okay.
738
00:38:57,721 --> 00:38:59,880
You'll talk more for a change.
739
00:38:59,881 --> 00:39:02,280
Ha, ha, ha. Very funny.
740
00:39:02,281 --> 00:39:04,440
You're getting funny. That must
mean you're feeling better.
741
00:39:04,441 --> 00:39:07,720
- Jesus. What's all this?
- Oh, options.
742
00:39:07,721 --> 00:39:09,844
I'm a big medicator.
743
00:39:23,961 --> 00:39:27,680
- Oh, my God. That's the best thing ever.
- Yeah.
744
00:39:27,681 --> 00:39:29,600
Jewish penicillin.
745
00:39:29,601 --> 00:39:30,848
Mmm.
746
00:39:31,321 --> 00:39:33,480
You have to give me the recipe.
747
00:39:33,481 --> 00:39:36,685
But you don't need it.
You don't get sick.
748
00:39:48,641 --> 00:39:51,000
No. A queen-size bed is perfect.
749
00:39:51,001 --> 00:39:55,000
No, nothing else. Wait a second.
There is something else.
750
00:39:55,001 --> 00:40:00,367
I need a lock and a "Do not
disturb" sign. Yeah, that's it.
751
00:40:00,481 --> 00:40:02,560
Stein, can I just talk
to you for a second?
752
00:40:02,561 --> 00:40:05,120
- No, I can't talk to you. I'm late.
- No, really.
753
00:40:05,121 --> 00:40:08,000
- I gotta go. I gotta go. Sorry.
- Okay.
754
00:40:08,001 --> 00:40:10,000
I just wanted to talk for a second.
755
00:40:10,001 --> 00:40:12,920
- Have a good weekend, sweetie.
- You too, sweetie.
756
00:40:12,921 --> 00:40:15,000
She is so seeing somebody.
757
00:40:18,521 --> 00:40:20,200
- Jessica Stein's desk.
- Yes, hello.
758
00:40:20,201 --> 00:40:23,400
I'm looking for my daughter.
Excuse me. To whom am I speaking?
759
00:40:23,401 --> 00:40:25,880
- This is Josh Meyers, Judy. How are you?
- Joshie!
760
00:40:25,881 --> 00:40:29,000
Joshie! I haven't
spoken to you in ages.
761
00:40:29,001 --> 00:40:31,040
Yeah, I know. It's been a
long time. How are you?
762
00:40:31,041 --> 00:40:35,246
How am I? I'm fantastic. I'm just,
you know, excited about the wedding.
763
00:40:36,201 --> 00:40:37,800
- The what?
- The wedding.
764
00:40:37,801 --> 00:40:39,924
Didn't Jessie tell you?
765
00:40:41,201 --> 00:40:42,562
Uh...
766
00:40:43,041 --> 00:40:45,209
No. No, she didn't.
767
00:40:45,281 --> 00:40:46,846
Daniel is getting married.
768
00:40:47,041 --> 00:40:48,560
Oh.
769
00:40:48,561 --> 00:40:50,968
Danny. Well, that's wonderful.
770
00:40:51,881 --> 00:40:53,200
Mazeltov.
771
00:40:53,201 --> 00:40:55,768
Thank you. I can't believe
that Jessie didn't tell you.
772
00:40:56,041 --> 00:40:58,480
You're invited, of course.
Not to worry.
773
00:40:58,481 --> 00:41:01,040
That's sweet of you,
Judy. You know...
774
00:41:01,041 --> 00:41:04,520
How is Danny? I haven't really
talked to him in a while.
775
00:41:04,521 --> 00:41:08,040
Dan is floating on air.
That's how he is.
776
00:41:08,041 --> 00:41:10,240
As a matter of fact, he's gonna
be here in a few minutes.
777
00:41:10,241 --> 00:41:12,200
He's flying in for...
Wait a minute.
778
00:41:12,201 --> 00:41:14,880
Wait a minute. You'll join
us for Shabbat dinner.
779
00:41:14,881 --> 00:41:16,571
You have plans?
780
00:41:24,201 --> 00:41:26,880
- Oh, my God. What are you doing here?
- Hi. Coming to get you.
781
00:41:26,881 --> 00:41:29,400
- What?
- Day ten. I got a hotel.
782
00:41:29,401 --> 00:41:31,600
Yeah. I... You know what?
783
00:41:31,601 --> 00:41:34,520
I can't. I have a train to catch.
Shabbat dinner in Scarsdale.
784
00:41:34,521 --> 00:41:37,560
- Cancel. Cancel.
- I can't. My brother's in town.
785
00:41:37,561 --> 00:41:39,684
Yes or no, lady?
I don't got all day.
786
00:41:40,161 --> 00:41:41,567
I gotta get out of here.
787
00:41:43,161 --> 00:41:44,800
Okay. You know what? You know what?
788
00:41:44,801 --> 00:41:47,120
Let's just... We'll talk
in here. I can't think.
789
00:41:47,121 --> 00:41:49,720
- But the hotel's right around the...
- We'll figure it out.
790
00:41:49,721 --> 00:41:51,720
I will get my act sorted out.
791
00:41:51,721 --> 00:41:54,600
What are those pants?
I'm so borrowing... Mom?
792
00:41:54,601 --> 00:41:56,440
Jessie, I just got off the phone...
793
00:41:56,441 --> 00:41:59,320
- I can't come. Something's come up.
- What?
794
00:41:59,321 --> 00:42:00,600
- No, no.
- Don't be silly.
795
00:42:00,601 --> 00:42:02,920
My new friend, Helen, the
one I've told you about,
796
00:42:02,921 --> 00:42:06,480
she just got last-minute
house seats to Cabaret.
797
00:42:06,481 --> 00:42:08,920
And you know I've been dying to
go, so what I'm thinking is,
798
00:42:08,921 --> 00:42:12,480
- I will come up first thing in the morning...
- No, no.
799
00:42:12,481 --> 00:42:16,960
You are coming tonight, and I will get
you tickets for Cabaret next week.
800
00:42:16,961 --> 00:42:19,080
No, Mom, that's impossible.
The run's sold out.
801
00:42:19,081 --> 00:42:20,320
What is she saying?
802
00:42:20,321 --> 00:42:22,640
- Is your friend right there? Put her on.
- Yes, she's right...
803
00:42:22,641 --> 00:42:24,960
- No. Mom... No, no, no.
- Jessica...
804
00:42:24,961 --> 00:42:26,640
- What?
- Just for a minute.
805
00:42:26,641 --> 00:42:29,367
Sweetheart, put her on
just for a minute, okay?
806
00:42:29,521 --> 00:42:31,240
- She wants to talk to you.
- Yeah.
807
00:42:31,241 --> 00:42:33,523
- You swear? You swear?
- Yes. Give it here.
808
00:42:33,801 --> 00:42:35,560
- Hello?
- Helen, darling.
809
00:42:35,561 --> 00:42:40,562
- It is so wonderful to finally talk to you.
- Yes, hello.
810
00:42:40,681 --> 00:42:44,160
I just happen to have a neighbor who's got
a son who was a swing in the production,
811
00:42:44,161 --> 00:42:47,840
and I know that I can get you the most
fantastic seats for Cabaret next week,
812
00:42:47,841 --> 00:42:49,840
which would be my pleasure.
813
00:42:49,841 --> 00:42:52,160
Not to mention the fact that the
lead, who is this really big deal,
814
00:42:52,161 --> 00:42:54,120
is out all this week. Can you
believe that? Because he's got
815
00:42:54,121 --> 00:42:56,760
these soft nodules
on his vocal chords.
816
00:42:56,761 --> 00:43:00,520
So it would be... it would be a
damn shame for you to go tonight.
817
00:43:00,521 --> 00:43:05,200
You know what you're gonna do? You are
gonna join us for Shabbat dinner.
818
00:43:05,201 --> 00:43:10,009
And we can finally meet. So I am
setting a place for you at this table
819
00:43:10,201 --> 00:43:11,560
as we speak.
820
00:43:11,561 --> 00:43:15,160
And my husband Sidney is gonna
pick you up at the train in an hour.
821
00:43:15,161 --> 00:43:19,411
- Okay, darling?
- Um, okay.
822
00:43:21,241 --> 00:43:23,080
What happened?
823
00:43:23,081 --> 00:43:25,727
Shabbat dinner in Scarsdale.
824
00:43:28,321 --> 00:43:29,966
Shit.
825
00:43:33,041 --> 00:43:35,840
Daniel, darling, you're
in your usual seat.
826
00:43:35,841 --> 00:43:39,000
Sidney, Stanley, if you would
sit here. Okay, sweetheart?
827
00:43:39,001 --> 00:43:40,680
That's right, Helen. Right there.
828
00:43:40,681 --> 00:43:43,441
Oh, and Jess? Would you sit here,
please, between Stanley and me?
829
00:43:44,281 --> 00:43:45,880
Okay, Mom.
830
00:43:45,881 --> 00:43:48,080
Stanley, it's just
lovely to have you here.
831
00:43:48,081 --> 00:43:50,720
- It's lovely to be here. Thank you.
- The pleasure is ours.
832
00:43:50,721 --> 00:43:54,480
And, of course, Helen. Oh, my God.
Jessie has told us so much about you.
833
00:43:54,481 --> 00:43:56,840
And it's wonderful that
you could make it.
834
00:43:56,841 --> 00:43:58,840
Thank you. It's lovely to be here.
835
00:43:59,961 --> 00:44:02,767
- Wait. Who could that be?
- Why don't you answer it?
836
00:44:03,521 --> 00:44:05,560
Meyers! What the hell
are you doing here?
837
00:44:05,561 --> 00:44:07,960
- I was invited to Shabbat dinner.
- By whom?
838
00:44:07,961 --> 00:44:09,526
By Judy.
839
00:44:12,241 --> 00:44:14,920
There he is! There he is!
840
00:44:14,921 --> 00:44:17,720
- How was traffic? I figured, I figured.
- It was bad.
841
00:44:17,721 --> 00:44:19,920
- How do you like that?
- How are you, buddy?
842
00:44:19,921 --> 00:44:21,760
- Good, man.
- Good to see you.
843
00:44:21,761 --> 00:44:22,920
Good to see you too.
844
00:44:22,921 --> 00:44:24,720
I think you know everyone
here except Stanley.
845
00:44:24,721 --> 00:44:26,560
- Stanley, this is Josh Meyers.
- Josh.
846
00:44:26,561 --> 00:44:28,600
- I didn't get your last name.
- Schoenberg.
847
00:44:28,601 --> 00:44:30,520
You don't know Helen,
Josh. This is Helen.
848
00:44:30,521 --> 00:44:32,360
Oh, yeah, hi. We met
the other night.
849
00:44:32,361 --> 00:44:33,920
- How are you doing, Helen?
- Good.
850
00:44:33,921 --> 00:44:38,440
So, Helen was just telling us
that this is her first Shabbat.
851
00:44:38,441 --> 00:44:40,920
It's okay. We can raise
the kids interfaith.
852
00:44:40,921 --> 00:44:42,600
I'm willing to bend.
853
00:44:42,601 --> 00:44:45,440
Well, I did go to a seder once.
854
00:44:45,441 --> 00:44:48,280
But that's about the extent
of my Jewish education.
855
00:44:48,281 --> 00:44:50,961
Well, we'll do our best to
represent all Jews everywhere.
856
00:44:50,962 --> 00:44:54,768
- Jessie, kiddush.
- Oh, yes. Okay.
857
00:44:56,281 --> 00:44:57,926
Sing, my love. Sing.
858
00:45:09,001 --> 00:45:12,364
- Amen!
- Good Shabbat!
859
00:45:13,561 --> 00:45:15,480
- And another one.
- Good Shabbat.
860
00:45:15,481 --> 00:45:17,480
- Good Shabbat.
- Good Shabbat.
861
00:45:17,481 --> 00:45:18,640
Good Shabbat.
862
00:45:18,641 --> 00:45:21,480
It does me such good to have
all of you at this table,
863
00:45:21,481 --> 00:45:23,400
especially my children,
864
00:45:23,401 --> 00:45:27,400
my beautiful son, who's
a fancy lawyer now,
865
00:45:27,401 --> 00:45:30,800
and then my daughter, who's the
big deal at the New York Tribune.
866
00:45:30,801 --> 00:45:32,920
- I'm a copy editor.
- It's a big deal to me.
867
00:45:32,921 --> 00:45:35,680
Is she not gorgeous, Stan? Look at
that punam. Look at that punam.
868
00:45:35,681 --> 00:45:37,292
- She is beautiful.
- Please!
869
00:45:37,801 --> 00:45:41,289
So Helen, Jessica tells us
you own an art gallery?
870
00:45:41,761 --> 00:45:43,680
Jessica leans toward hyperbole.
871
00:45:43,681 --> 00:45:46,680
I'm the assistant director at the
Schuller Gallery in Chelsea.
872
00:45:46,681 --> 00:45:49,880
- What kind of work do you show there?
- Contemporary abstracts, right?
873
00:45:49,881 --> 00:45:51,000
- Yeah.
- Yeah,
874
00:45:51,001 --> 00:45:52,851
I saw Diana Tompkins'
exhibit last month.
875
00:45:53,521 --> 00:45:56,640
And Stanley is the vice president
of new software development
876
00:45:56,641 --> 00:45:57,840
- for I.B.M.
- Yeah.
877
00:45:57,841 --> 00:46:02,200
So if you need a great deal on a new
P.C., just let me know. I'm your man.
878
00:46:02,201 --> 00:46:04,051
Jessica hates computers.
879
00:46:04,961 --> 00:46:06,040
Oh.
880
00:46:06,041 --> 00:46:08,680
- I'm sorry.
- No, no, no. That's okay.
881
00:46:08,681 --> 00:46:10,480
That's fine. I just, um...
882
00:46:10,481 --> 00:46:14,040
I just feel like they're numbing and
obscuring our humanity, you know.
883
00:46:14,041 --> 00:46:17,040
Angel, could you help me
in the kitchen, please?
884
00:46:17,041 --> 00:46:20,051
- Sure, Mom.
- Thanks.
885
00:46:20,801 --> 00:46:22,120
We'll be right back.
886
00:46:22,121 --> 00:46:25,052
- She likes to provoke.
- Oh, no. I understand. I like that.
887
00:46:26,041 --> 00:46:28,560
He's adorable, he is
bright, and what's more,
888
00:46:28,561 --> 00:46:31,000
he is your father's partner's
nephew, so you be nice.
889
00:46:31,001 --> 00:46:33,080
I don't wanna...
I don't wanna be nice.
890
00:46:33,081 --> 00:46:35,600
And for the record, all of your
setups have been disastrous.
891
00:46:35,601 --> 00:46:36,880
- Disastrous?
- Yes, they have.
892
00:46:36,881 --> 00:46:39,240
How was I to know Eric
Birnbaum was in rehab?
893
00:46:39,241 --> 00:46:41,400
God. Wan, pale, track marks?
I don't know.
894
00:46:41,401 --> 00:46:43,160
- I thought he had diabetes.
- Jesus Christ.
895
00:46:43,161 --> 00:46:44,920
- Can I help with anything?
- Yes, you can make my daughter
896
00:46:44,921 --> 00:46:47,601
a little less stubborn
and a lot less picky!
897
00:46:47,961 --> 00:46:49,920
- Tall order.
- Thanks.
898
00:46:49,921 --> 00:46:54,400
Let me ask you something,
Helen. Isn't Stanley gorgeous?
899
00:46:54,401 --> 00:46:57,480
Oh, yeah. He's a
handsome guy, Jess.
900
00:46:57,481 --> 00:47:00,120
Wouldn't he make a great match? He
would be a great match, wouldn't he?
901
00:47:00,121 --> 00:47:01,680
I think it's a very good match.
902
00:47:01,681 --> 00:47:03,920
And you know what?
I think Jess really likes him.
903
00:47:03,921 --> 00:47:06,806
Yes, yes, clearly. I'm smitten.
904
00:47:08,001 --> 00:47:10,600
Great. It's not happening.
905
00:47:10,601 --> 00:47:12,880
It's not happening, Mom.
906
00:47:12,881 --> 00:47:16,847
Breathe, Judy, breathe.
What about you, Helen?
907
00:47:18,281 --> 00:47:20,085
How do you like Josh?
908
00:47:20,921 --> 00:47:22,400
Oh, um...
909
00:47:22,401 --> 00:47:23,720
He's great,
910
00:47:23,721 --> 00:47:25,960
- but my plate's a little full right now.
- I can imagine.
911
00:47:25,961 --> 00:47:29,440
Beautiful girl like you, you probably have
men falling all over you left and right.
912
00:47:29,441 --> 00:47:30,560
I do okay.
913
00:47:30,561 --> 00:47:34,520
I just wish that Jessie
would meet somebody.
914
00:47:34,521 --> 00:47:39,120
It's been ages since she's met anybody
worthwhile. Is she dating at all?
915
00:47:39,121 --> 00:47:42,000
I think so. You know,
now and again.
916
00:47:42,001 --> 00:47:44,727
But no one special?
917
00:47:44,961 --> 00:47:46,765
You know, I just don't know.
918
00:47:46,801 --> 00:47:48,480
Keep me posted, will you?
919
00:47:48,481 --> 00:47:51,640
Sometimes, Jessie is
so secretive with me.
920
00:47:51,641 --> 00:47:53,720
- Would you do that for me?
- You know, I'm sure
921
00:47:53,721 --> 00:47:57,240
if it's someone really
special, she'll tell you.
922
00:47:57,241 --> 00:48:01,320
And our platform is compatible
with the new camera software.
923
00:48:01,321 --> 00:48:03,920
So soon, your local photo shop
will be a thing of the past.
924
00:48:03,921 --> 00:48:07,568
Judy, you hear this? They're putting
photocopiers in the computers now.
925
00:48:08,001 --> 00:48:10,480
- This technology's unbelievable.
- I know.
926
00:48:10,481 --> 00:48:13,640
- Stanley's a genius.
- Well, I didn't actually invent the thing...
927
00:48:13,641 --> 00:48:15,640
You're a genius. Potatoes?
928
00:48:15,641 --> 00:48:19,440
So, Helen, what groundbreaking
project is on your docket next?
929
00:48:19,441 --> 00:48:23,320
Well, actually, I'm curating a
show this summer for new artists.
930
00:48:23,321 --> 00:48:26,360
New artists? Well, Jessie's
work should be in that.
931
00:48:26,361 --> 00:48:27,520
- Mom...
- Have you seen her stuff?
932
00:48:27,521 --> 00:48:29,760
I haven't. Isn't that funny?
933
00:48:29,761 --> 00:48:31,000
- She is marvelous.
- Mom...
934
00:48:31,001 --> 00:48:33,000
That's her painting over there.
935
00:48:33,001 --> 00:48:34,600
She was the rage at Brown.
936
00:48:34,601 --> 00:48:37,442
- Jess, that's really good.
- Yeah, don't bother. She won't listen.
937
00:48:43,881 --> 00:48:47,840
All right, it's settled. No one's
leaving. The rain's terrible.
938
00:48:47,841 --> 00:48:51,568
We've got warm beds. Everyone
stays. Genug. Enough said.
939
00:48:52,001 --> 00:48:53,880
I hope you girls
don't mind sharing.
940
00:48:53,881 --> 00:48:56,200
No problem. We'll be okay.
941
00:48:56,201 --> 00:49:00,087
- Right, Jess?
- Yes. Um, yeah. We'll be fine, Mom.
942
00:49:00,361 --> 00:49:02,563
You sure it's big enough?
943
00:49:03,521 --> 00:49:07,328
- I think we'll just fit. Good night.
- Good night.
944
00:49:10,201 --> 00:49:11,920
- Stop it!
- You stop.
945
00:49:11,921 --> 00:49:15,682
- Kids. Good night, Stanley.
- Good night.
946
00:49:17,401 --> 00:49:21,083
Poor Stanley. Didn't know what
he was getting into, huh?
947
00:49:23,441 --> 00:49:26,080
- Those Stein women are tough to please.
- Yeah.
948
00:49:26,081 --> 00:49:28,568
It'd take a better man
than me, clearly.
949
00:49:29,881 --> 00:49:32,120
Well... So how's
your writing coming?
950
00:49:32,121 --> 00:49:34,600
Oh, you know. Not.
951
00:49:34,601 --> 00:49:36,960
What do you mean?
952
00:49:36,961 --> 00:49:39,960
I decided that I didn't really
wanna be a writer anymore.
953
00:49:39,961 --> 00:49:42,240
I'm much happier tearing down
the work of other writers
954
00:49:42,241 --> 00:49:45,800
who are not as talented as I
am, but also not as paralyzed.
955
00:49:45,801 --> 00:49:49,448
Any artistic frustration I have
now I just take out on them.
956
00:49:51,081 --> 00:49:54,080
Damn, man. You got dark.
957
00:49:55,161 --> 00:49:56,806
I know.
958
00:50:00,441 --> 00:50:03,212
This is so weird.
959
00:50:04,081 --> 00:50:06,648
In a month of such normalcy.
960
00:50:08,881 --> 00:50:11,652
Shh. We must be very quiet.
961
00:50:15,801 --> 00:50:19,369
Jesus Christ. I feel like we're
gonna be grounded or something.
962
00:50:35,521 --> 00:50:39,080
- Wait, Jess. What are you...
- Stop talking.
963
00:50:39,081 --> 00:50:41,522
It's day ten.
964
00:50:48,161 --> 00:50:50,800
Fuck. There's nothin' fucking on.
965
00:50:57,361 --> 00:51:00,371
Jesus. I was supposed to call Rach.
966
00:51:02,161 --> 00:51:04,360
- You okay down here, man?
- Yeah.
967
00:51:04,361 --> 00:51:06,360
Your mom left sheets.
968
00:51:06,361 --> 00:51:09,360
Okay. All right. Good night.
969
00:51:09,361 --> 00:51:12,007
Yeah, good night.
970
00:51:36,201 --> 00:51:39,644
- Jesus.
- Can I get some fries with that shake?
971
00:51:48,641 --> 00:51:51,800
Okay, enough is enough. You
never write. You never call.
972
00:51:51,801 --> 00:51:53,040
I don't know you anymore.
973
00:51:53,041 --> 00:51:55,160
Are we breaking up or are you
gonna tell me about him?
974
00:51:55,161 --> 00:51:58,800
- Oh, sweetie, no. I...
- Okay, we're breaking up.
975
00:51:58,801 --> 00:52:02,608
No, no, no, no. No, um, I...
976
00:52:03,601 --> 00:52:06,560
Okay. Yes, I've been
seeing someone.
977
00:52:06,561 --> 00:52:08,251
Duh.
978
00:52:08,841 --> 00:52:11,480
I just don't wanna jinx it...
Oh, I'm sorry.
979
00:52:11,481 --> 00:52:14,880
- I don't wanna jinx it by talking about it.
- You know what? Just jinx it.
980
00:52:14,881 --> 00:52:16,880
Yeah. Okay, just jinx it.
981
00:52:16,881 --> 00:52:18,080
When do we get to meet him?
982
00:52:18,081 --> 00:52:21,330
How about brunch on Sunday
if my water doesn't break?
983
00:52:21,401 --> 00:52:25,000
The thing is, we're kind of laying
low this weekend, he and I.
984
00:52:25,001 --> 00:52:28,045
But... But maybe next week.
985
00:52:28,201 --> 00:52:32,929
- Not maybe, definitely.
- Okay. Definitely.
986
00:52:37,001 --> 00:52:39,363
Knock, knock.
987
00:52:39,601 --> 00:52:41,371
- Hi.
- Hi.
988
00:52:44,961 --> 00:52:46,720
Is everything okay?
989
00:52:46,721 --> 00:52:48,760
Yeah, why?
990
00:52:48,761 --> 00:52:52,280
You just... You don't seem
like yourself lately.
991
00:52:52,281 --> 00:52:55,803
Yeah, well, you know.
You don't either.
992
00:52:56,201 --> 00:52:57,280
Oh.
993
00:52:57,281 --> 00:52:59,643
Okay.
994
00:53:00,081 --> 00:53:02,200
Okay.
995
00:53:02,201 --> 00:53:05,325
- Hey. Did you get the wedding invite?
- Yeah.
996
00:53:06,521 --> 00:53:08,485
- They're beautiful, right?
- Yeah.
997
00:53:09,361 --> 00:53:11,960
- Yeah. It's great for Danny.
- Yeah.
998
00:53:11,961 --> 00:53:15,440
- We're excited.
- Well, you should be.
999
00:53:15,441 --> 00:53:18,292
Okay. Well...
1000
00:53:23,401 --> 00:53:24,800
Why can't you be happy for me?
1001
00:53:24,801 --> 00:53:26,880
Because you are an affront
to gay people everywhere,
1002
00:53:26,881 --> 00:53:28,400
and I am a gay people.
1003
00:53:28,401 --> 00:53:30,480
- Is it so hard to believe that I like her?
- Yes.
1004
00:53:30,481 --> 00:53:32,480
- Why?
- Because you like the penis.
1005
00:53:32,481 --> 00:53:34,680
Because you have had
more cock than I have,
1006
00:53:34,681 --> 00:53:36,640
and I was a big whore in the '80s.
1007
00:53:36,641 --> 00:53:38,640
I'm sorry, ma'am.
1008
00:53:38,641 --> 00:53:39,960
Come on, come on.
1009
00:53:39,961 --> 00:53:43,400
This is not something that you can
just try on and see if it fits.
1010
00:53:43,401 --> 00:53:46,640
I can't just put black shoe polish
on my face and join a gospel choir
1011
00:53:46,641 --> 00:53:49,040
because, I don't know, I
don't feel so white no more.
1012
00:53:49,041 --> 00:53:52,040
- Come on. That's a terrible analogy.
- Why? Why is that?
1013
00:53:52,041 --> 00:53:54,680
- Because you're born black.
- Exactly my point.
1014
00:53:54,681 --> 00:53:59,205
Okay, so what do you think?
It's genius, right?
1015
00:54:01,321 --> 00:54:02,520
Who died?
1016
00:54:02,521 --> 00:54:05,160
Apparently, I'm an affront
to the gay community.
1017
00:54:05,161 --> 00:54:07,320
Not this again, Martin.
1018
00:54:07,321 --> 00:54:11,400
- Martin, why do you care who I'm with?
- Yes. Why do you care?
1019
00:54:11,401 --> 00:54:13,800
- She likes this girl.
- Straight girl.
1020
00:54:13,801 --> 00:54:15,840
Straight girl, gay girl.
What's the difference?
1021
00:54:15,841 --> 00:54:18,000
An orgasm is an orgasm.
1022
00:54:18,001 --> 00:54:20,800
If you were blindfolded
and I blew you,
1023
00:54:20,801 --> 00:54:22,840
and then Helen blew you, would
you even know the difference?
1024
00:54:22,841 --> 00:54:25,880
I don't know. That depends. Does Helen
get tired and stop halfway through?
1025
00:54:25,881 --> 00:54:27,920
Okay, too much information. Guys...
1026
00:54:27,921 --> 00:54:32,120
That happened once, and you were so
drunk that you could hardly even...
1027
00:54:32,121 --> 00:54:33,880
Okay. You know what?
1028
00:54:33,881 --> 00:54:39,400
Look. The point is, this person
Helen's with seems lovely and smart.
1029
00:54:39,401 --> 00:54:41,920
And a very talented artist
who's gonna be in our show.
1030
00:54:41,921 --> 00:54:43,566
- Have you met her?
- Well, no.
1031
00:54:45,401 --> 00:54:47,251
Why haven't we met her?
1032
00:54:59,881 --> 00:55:02,080
How come you never make noise?
1033
00:55:02,081 --> 00:55:05,205
- What?
- When we're having sex.
1034
00:55:05,361 --> 00:55:07,086
- What?
- Is it not good?
1035
00:55:07,401 --> 00:55:10,040
What? No, it's fine. It's... Yeah.
1036
00:55:10,041 --> 00:55:13,080
'Cause I can never tell.
You're so quiet.
1037
00:55:13,081 --> 00:55:16,080
And, you know, I make noise,
so you know what's working.
1038
00:55:16,081 --> 00:55:19,360
Whatever you want
me to do, I'll do.
1039
00:55:19,361 --> 00:55:23,008
- So if something's not working...
- You know, it's all fine. It's all just fine.
1040
00:55:23,601 --> 00:55:26,600
Like sometimes when I'm going down
on you, it seems like you like it.
1041
00:55:26,601 --> 00:55:27,840
But then sometimes it seems
like you're annoyed.
1042
00:55:27,841 --> 00:55:28,960
Look, Helen...
1043
00:55:28,961 --> 00:55:31,800
You know what? It's not really the
right time to talk about things.
1044
00:55:31,801 --> 00:55:34,760
But it's never the right time, especially
at the time, which strikes me as
1045
00:55:34,761 --> 00:55:37,640
- exactly the right time.
- My God, Jess, what are you doing here?
1046
00:55:37,641 --> 00:55:40,800
- Oh, my God, Joan. Hi. Hi. Hi.
- Hi.
1047
00:55:40,801 --> 00:55:44,880
- What are you doing here?
- Shopping, of course.
1048
00:55:44,881 --> 00:55:46,280
- Hi.
- Hi.
1049
00:55:46,281 --> 00:55:49,520
Hi. Joan, this is Helen,
a friend of mine.
1050
00:55:49,521 --> 00:55:51,520
- Hi, nice to meet you.
- Hi.
1051
00:55:51,521 --> 00:55:53,520
This is Joan, a friend of mine.
1052
00:55:53,521 --> 00:55:56,280
What are you doing below 14th street?
I thought you were laying low.
1053
00:55:56,281 --> 00:55:58,760
Yes, I was. I... We were.
1054
00:55:58,761 --> 00:56:01,800
And then my friend Helen here
1055
00:56:01,801 --> 00:56:04,840
actually volunteers for
this homeless thing.
1056
00:56:04,841 --> 00:56:09,320
And, she... I had promised to
help her make brownies today.
1057
00:56:09,321 --> 00:56:13,924
And so we're getting ingredients
to make the brownies.
1058
00:56:17,601 --> 00:56:21,600
You must make a
pretty good brownie.
1059
00:56:21,601 --> 00:56:22,800
Lesbians?
1060
00:56:22,801 --> 00:56:25,080
Jesus Christ, I couldn't
think of one thing to say.
1061
00:56:25,081 --> 00:56:27,320
- I couldn't think of anything else.
- I don't believe this.
1062
00:56:27,321 --> 00:56:30,160
I know, I know, I know.
It's crazy, right?
1063
00:56:30,161 --> 00:56:32,320
It's like this surreal episode.
1064
00:56:32,321 --> 00:56:34,840
Are you horrified? Are you?
Do you find me disgusting?
1065
00:56:34,841 --> 00:56:36,840
No, no, no, sweetie, no. God.
1066
00:56:36,841 --> 00:56:38,840
- Are you sure?
- Oh, my God. Are you kidding?
1067
00:56:38,841 --> 00:56:40,560
- I'm impressed.
- You are?
1068
00:56:40,561 --> 00:56:43,160
I can't even get Matthew
to use the sex toys I buy.
1069
00:56:43,161 --> 00:56:44,320
Oh, my God.
1070
00:56:44,321 --> 00:56:47,760
And you're so conservative.
1071
00:56:47,761 --> 00:56:49,760
Fuck you, I know. I know.
1072
00:56:49,761 --> 00:56:53,360
- Does anyone else know?
- No. No! Are you crazy?
1073
00:56:53,361 --> 00:56:55,360
- Don't tell Josh.
- Yuck, no. No, I won't.
1074
00:56:55,361 --> 00:56:56,760
No matter what you do, don't ever.
1075
00:56:56,761 --> 00:57:00,200
- Okay? Shit.
- God, this is huge.
1076
00:57:00,201 --> 00:57:02,680
It's so
1077
00:57:02,681 --> 00:57:04,720
- radical.
- I know.
1078
00:57:04,721 --> 00:57:07,280
God. Tell me everything.
1079
00:57:07,281 --> 00:57:10,928
How did you meet this person?
What... How did this...
1080
00:57:12,881 --> 00:57:15,640
Don't tell me.
1081
00:57:15,641 --> 00:57:19,120
- You answered that ad! I don't believe it!
- No, no, no, no.
1082
00:57:19,121 --> 00:57:21,520
- Oh, my God!
- I know, I know. I'm a liar and a hypocrite.
1083
00:57:21,521 --> 00:57:23,960
- Jessica Stein!
- I know, I know. It was a whim.
1084
00:57:23,961 --> 00:57:27,200
You know what? It was just a whim.
It was this wacky, nutty whim.
1085
00:57:27,201 --> 00:57:29,400
I mean, you know that
I'm a Rilke fan.
1086
00:57:29,401 --> 00:57:32,720
And I read that ad and I thought it would
be nice to meet someone, just as a friend.
1087
00:57:32,721 --> 00:57:35,840
Oh, my God. It's all wrong.
It's all wrong. It's not me.
1088
00:57:35,841 --> 00:57:37,680
I'm a Jew from Scarsdale.
This has got to stop.
1089
00:57:37,681 --> 00:57:39,400
I gotta call her on the
phone and I gotta stop it.
1090
00:57:39,401 --> 00:57:41,840
We have to pretend that it never...
Any... Nothing.
1091
00:57:41,841 --> 00:57:45,682
- Stop. Shh. You're hysterical!
- No, I'm not.
1092
00:57:46,561 --> 00:57:48,684
Breathe.
1093
00:57:52,441 --> 00:57:54,240
What's she like?
1094
00:57:54,241 --> 00:57:56,440
She's great.
1095
00:57:56,441 --> 00:58:01,568
She's kind and witty and
1096
00:58:01,641 --> 00:58:05,960
quirky and nurturing and
involved and all that crap.
1097
00:58:05,961 --> 00:58:10,040
But she's a girl, you know?
She's thin.
1098
00:58:10,041 --> 00:58:14,720
She has thin arms and she's soft
and attentive and it's all wrong.
1099
00:58:14,721 --> 00:58:16,960
- How's the sex?
- It's good.
1100
00:58:16,961 --> 00:58:20,840
- Really?
- Yeah. Yeah.
1101
00:58:20,841 --> 00:58:25,560
- Does she make you laugh?
- Yeah, yeah, a lot. We laugh a lot.
1102
00:58:25,561 --> 00:58:29,402
- Is she as smart as you?
- Yeah, definitely.
1103
00:58:29,441 --> 00:58:32,360
- She gets you?
- She does.
1104
00:58:32,361 --> 00:58:35,960
She really does. I mean,
1105
00:58:35,961 --> 00:58:39,927
I think the thing is
we just really click.
1106
00:58:40,241 --> 00:58:42,600
- You know?
- Mmm.
1107
00:58:42,601 --> 00:58:45,930
Sounds like you definitely
need to put a stop to this.
1108
00:58:59,401 --> 00:59:01,400
Am I wearing this? This is so bad.
1109
00:59:01,401 --> 00:59:03,400
For Rachel. You are
wearing this, my love.
1110
00:59:03,401 --> 00:59:05,400
- All right. You look beautiful.
- I look beautiful?
1111
00:59:05,401 --> 00:59:07,400
Yeah, you totally look beautiful.
1112
00:59:07,401 --> 00:59:09,800
- I look like a heifer in her fifth month.
- Oh, God.
1113
00:59:09,801 --> 00:59:12,200
- You wanna eat?
- Yes, I'm starving. Let's get out of here.
1114
00:59:12,201 --> 00:59:15,280
Good. I made a reservation just next
door. And I left a message for Helen.
1115
00:59:15,281 --> 00:59:18,280
- What?
- There she is.
1116
00:59:18,281 --> 00:59:19,480
What?
1117
00:59:19,481 --> 00:59:22,240
I left a message for Helen in
case she wants to join us.
1118
00:59:22,241 --> 00:59:24,489
- Hi, dear. How are you?
- Hi.
1119
00:59:25,361 --> 00:59:27,131
What's all this?
1120
00:59:27,561 --> 00:59:30,128
- Very funny.
- No, really, what's going on?
1121
00:59:30,721 --> 00:59:33,360
These are our dresses, sweetheart.
1122
00:59:33,361 --> 00:59:37,611
For the wedding.
For Daniel's wedding.
1123
00:59:38,041 --> 00:59:40,209
Didn't I tell you? My
brother's getting married.
1124
00:59:41,681 --> 00:59:44,920
- No, you didn't.
- You didn't tell her?
1125
00:59:44,921 --> 00:59:48,443
- No, I did. I was sure that I had.
- When?
1126
00:59:48,641 --> 00:59:51,000
- When did I tell you?
- No, when is he getting married?
1127
00:59:51,001 --> 00:59:54,410
Next weekend.
Didn't you get the invitation?
1128
00:59:58,761 --> 01:00:01,360
- Excuse me.
- Oh, my God. Jessie.
1129
01:00:01,361 --> 01:00:03,680
- I'm sorry.
- Jessie, what did I say? What happened?
1130
01:00:03,681 --> 01:00:05,480
Nothing, nothing at all. It's...
1131
01:00:05,481 --> 01:00:08,360
- Her brother died at his wedding...
- He died?
1132
01:00:08,361 --> 01:00:10,760
Yeah. I'm off. I'll
explain later, okay?
1133
01:00:10,761 --> 01:00:13,407
Her brother died at a wedding?
1134
01:00:14,441 --> 01:00:15,560
Please wait.
1135
01:00:15,561 --> 01:00:18,120
Your brother's getting married
and you didn't tell me?
1136
01:00:18,121 --> 01:00:20,240
I was sure I told you.
I thought I told you.
1137
01:00:20,241 --> 01:00:22,320
Stop saying you told me.
You're a terrible liar.
1138
01:00:22,321 --> 01:00:23,800
It's one of your best qualities.
1139
01:00:23,801 --> 01:00:26,720
- All right, please don't do this.
- Look. I am so tired of this.
1140
01:00:26,721 --> 01:00:29,400
I am so tired of being left
out of half of your life.
1141
01:00:29,401 --> 01:00:31,160
- We're in a...
- Shh.
1142
01:00:31,161 --> 01:00:33,840
We're in a relationship whether
you like it or... Wait a minute.
1143
01:00:33,841 --> 01:00:36,760
- Why am I whispering? This is the point.
- Okay, listen.
1144
01:00:36,761 --> 01:00:41,080
We have been through this. I have never,
ever considered anything like this.
1145
01:00:41,081 --> 01:00:44,720
But here we are. It's happening, and
it's good, and I'm not ashamed of it.
1146
01:00:44,721 --> 01:00:47,128
And if you are, then
we have a problem.
1147
01:00:47,921 --> 01:00:50,408
She hates that dress.
1148
01:00:51,041 --> 01:00:54,440
Let's not get crazy, you know.
It is good. It's great.
1149
01:00:54,441 --> 01:00:59,440
But I'm just not ready to deal
with the complexities of...
1150
01:00:59,441 --> 01:01:02,760
- God, you can't even say it.
- Say what?
1151
01:01:02,761 --> 01:01:05,480
I have never, ever imagined
doing anything like this.
1152
01:01:05,481 --> 01:01:08,680
Well, you are doing something like this.
This didn't just happen to you.
1153
01:01:08,681 --> 01:01:11,240
It did. I mean, it feels
like it did, you know?
1154
01:01:11,241 --> 01:01:12,720
I'm sorry. I can't just...
1155
01:01:12,721 --> 01:01:14,760
I can't be with you and
be intimate with you
1156
01:01:14,761 --> 01:01:16,440
and share wonderful
things with you,
1157
01:01:16,441 --> 01:01:18,640
and then get shut out of the
most basic things in your life.
1158
01:01:18,641 --> 01:01:20,960
What is so terrible about
having privacy in this,
1159
01:01:20,961 --> 01:01:23,960
in taking our time to
see if it makes sense?
1160
01:01:23,961 --> 01:01:27,240
Because when you don't acknowledge
who I am to people that matter to you,
1161
01:01:27,241 --> 01:01:28,600
it makes me feel like
you're ashamed of me.
1162
01:01:28,601 --> 01:01:30,080
I'm not ashamed of you.
1163
01:01:30,081 --> 01:01:32,320
- Well, that's how it feels.
- God, what do you want from me?
1164
01:01:32,321 --> 01:01:35,365
I want you to take me to
your brother's wedding.
1165
01:01:36,001 --> 01:01:38,090
I can't.
1166
01:01:39,041 --> 01:01:42,848
I'm sorry. I just can't.
1167
01:01:45,401 --> 01:01:49,447
Fine. I can't either.
1168
01:02:07,521 --> 01:02:10,160
Hey, it's Jess. Leave me a message.
1169
01:02:10,161 --> 01:02:13,360
Okay, we did it.
Hannah Claire Levine.
1170
01:02:13,361 --> 01:02:16,920
Eight pounds, six ounces.
I'm sorry we didn't call sooner.
1171
01:02:16,921 --> 01:02:20,040
It was 3:00 a.m. and it went
sort of fast, thank God.
1172
01:02:20,041 --> 01:02:25,400
Because it's the worst pain one
will ever know. You can't imagine.
1173
01:02:25,401 --> 01:02:28,000
I'm in room 325 at Sinai.
1174
01:02:28,001 --> 01:02:30,040
Oh, my God. Can you believe?
1175
01:02:30,041 --> 01:02:32,209
Come by soon. Where are you?
1176
01:02:58,641 --> 01:03:01,720
The only woman that loved me
not just in spite of my faults,
1177
01:03:01,721 --> 01:03:03,969
but because of them somehow.
1178
01:03:04,921 --> 01:03:06,880
I love you, Rachel.
1179
01:03:16,041 --> 01:03:18,403
I'm gonna go get some air.
1180
01:03:27,441 --> 01:03:31,880
- Helen, hey.
- Josh. Hi...
1181
01:03:31,881 --> 01:03:33,242
Um...
1182
01:03:33,401 --> 01:03:36,240
God, you know, I'm flattered,
but it's really not a good time.
1183
01:03:36,241 --> 01:03:38,240
They're for Jessica.
1184
01:03:38,241 --> 01:03:39,488
Oh.
1185
01:03:39,641 --> 01:03:41,605
Sorry.
1186
01:03:42,241 --> 01:03:46,800
Well, I heard the opening was tonight
and wanted to wish her well. That's all.
1187
01:03:46,801 --> 01:03:50,005
That's sweet, but,
um, she's not here.
1188
01:03:50,961 --> 01:03:54,800
- You're kidding. Why not?
- Oh, she's got a lot going on.
1189
01:03:54,801 --> 01:03:57,040
You know, wedding stuff,
rehearsal dinner.
1190
01:03:57,041 --> 01:04:01,451
I am so stupid. Well, will
I see you there tomorrow?
1191
01:04:01,761 --> 01:04:04,885
No, you won't.
1192
01:04:10,001 --> 01:04:12,169
Is that hers?
1193
01:04:12,441 --> 01:04:14,609
Yeah.
1194
01:04:16,121 --> 01:04:18,244
Wow.
1195
01:04:19,521 --> 01:04:21,920
That's a pretty powerful piece.
1196
01:04:21,921 --> 01:04:27,969
Yeah. It's amazing that someone like
Jessica takes such risks in her work, huh?
1197
01:04:28,841 --> 01:04:31,965
She certainly doesn't
anywhere else.
1198
01:05:12,881 --> 01:05:15,520
Beautiful toast.
1199
01:05:15,521 --> 01:05:17,883
Yeah, it was.
1200
01:05:21,481 --> 01:05:23,649
You okay?
1201
01:05:24,681 --> 01:05:26,007
Um...
1202
01:05:26,281 --> 01:05:28,882
I don't know. No.
1203
01:05:31,081 --> 01:05:33,283
What is it, Jess?
1204
01:05:34,361 --> 01:05:39,931
It's just sometimes I think
I'm gonna be alone forever.
1205
01:05:44,041 --> 01:05:46,448
You can jump in any time.
1206
01:05:49,921 --> 01:05:52,760
You're my love, you know that?
1207
01:05:52,761 --> 01:05:55,009
My beloved.
1208
01:05:57,761 --> 01:06:00,880
But sometimes I worry for you.
1209
01:06:00,881 --> 01:06:03,607
I worry for me too.
1210
01:06:12,721 --> 01:06:15,367
Sweetheart.
1211
01:06:18,721 --> 01:06:21,400
I will never forget,
1212
01:06:21,401 --> 01:06:23,480
when you were in the fifth grade,
1213
01:06:23,481 --> 01:06:27,400
and you were so excited when
you got the lead in the play.
1214
01:06:27,401 --> 01:06:29,240
Do you remember that?
1215
01:06:29,241 --> 01:06:32,524
- Really Rosie.
- Really Rosie, yeah. I remember.
1216
01:06:33,761 --> 01:06:36,920
And you came home after the
first day of rehearsal,
1217
01:06:36,921 --> 01:06:39,920
and you turned to me
and you said, "Mommy,
1218
01:06:39,921 --> 01:06:42,440
"I'm not gonna do it. I quit."
1219
01:06:42,441 --> 01:06:44,400
Just like that.
1220
01:06:44,401 --> 01:06:50,040
I turned to you and I said,
"Jessie. Jessie, my love, why?"
1221
01:06:50,041 --> 01:06:53,440
And you said, "Because my
costar isn't good enough."
1222
01:06:53,441 --> 01:06:55,520
"And if my costar
isn't good enough,
1223
01:06:55,521 --> 01:06:57,520
"then the play won't
be good enough.
1224
01:06:57,521 --> 01:07:03,120
"And I don't wanna be part of any
play that isn't good enough."
1225
01:07:03,121 --> 01:07:06,006
And I thought to myself,
1226
01:07:07,961 --> 01:07:10,129
"Oy.
1227
01:07:11,001 --> 01:07:15,160
"This Child will suffer.
1228
01:07:15,161 --> 01:07:18,205
"How this child will suffer."
1229
01:07:19,681 --> 01:07:22,720
And then they gave it to the
mieskeit with the glasses.
1230
01:07:22,721 --> 01:07:24,400
- Tess Greenblatt.
- Right.
1231
01:07:24,401 --> 01:07:28,083
- God, she was terrible.
- Right. And you would have been great.
1232
01:07:28,881 --> 01:07:30,320
And you didn't get to do it.
1233
01:07:30,321 --> 01:07:32,080
You had to sit there and
watch terrible Tess do it
1234
01:07:32,081 --> 01:07:34,680
with that guy you thought
wasn't good enough,
1235
01:07:34,681 --> 01:07:36,400
who was actually quite
excellent, wasn't he?
1236
01:07:36,401 --> 01:07:38,480
He was. He was very good.
1237
01:07:38,481 --> 01:07:41,360
And you know?
1238
01:07:41,361 --> 01:07:46,840
I always think that you would have
been so much happier doing that play,
1239
01:07:46,841 --> 01:07:49,320
even if it was just okay.
1240
01:07:49,321 --> 01:07:52,320
Even if it was great,
1241
01:07:52,321 --> 01:07:54,808
just not the best ever.
1242
01:07:55,761 --> 01:07:57,884
And maybe,
1243
01:08:00,961 --> 01:08:03,560
just maybe,
1244
01:08:03,561 --> 01:08:07,640
it would have been the best ever.
1245
01:08:07,641 --> 01:08:09,764
You never know.
1246
01:08:17,441 --> 01:08:19,609
Jessie.
1247
01:08:20,681 --> 01:08:22,849
Yeah?
1248
01:08:31,521 --> 01:08:33,644
I think...
1249
01:08:37,081 --> 01:08:40,125
I think she's a very nice girl.
1250
01:09:15,681 --> 01:09:18,600
Hey, it's Jess. Leave me a message.
1251
01:09:18,601 --> 01:09:22,320
Jessica. Hi, it's Josh Meyers.
1252
01:09:22,321 --> 01:09:26,765
And, uh, I just wanted to...
1253
01:09:27,081 --> 01:09:28,640
God, I wish you were home.
1254
01:09:34,881 --> 01:09:39,211
I'm wearing this. Do you have
any interest in this one?
1255
01:09:46,081 --> 01:09:47,806
Mazeltov.
1256
01:09:51,081 --> 01:09:54,364
Aren't they great? Aren't they
gorgeous? Hello, darling.
1257
01:09:54,641 --> 01:09:56,840
Hey, how's it going?
1258
01:09:56,841 --> 01:09:58,880
Are you the lesbian?
1259
01:09:58,881 --> 01:10:01,320
Helen, darling. We just
want you to know again
1260
01:10:01,321 --> 01:10:03,640
how welcome you are in our family.
1261
01:10:03,641 --> 01:10:05,280
Right, Sid?
1262
01:10:05,281 --> 01:10:08,320
- I told her welcome three times already.
- Jesus.
1263
01:10:08,321 --> 01:10:11,560
I've been hearing about "the one" for,
I don't know, like 20 years.
1264
01:10:11,561 --> 01:10:13,960
And I thought it would be a guy.
1265
01:10:13,961 --> 01:10:17,400
Right. I know, I know. But look,
I don't even believe that anymore.
1266
01:10:17,401 --> 01:10:19,320
I don't believe there's
just one person.
1267
01:10:19,321 --> 01:10:21,842
I think there are, like, seven.
1268
01:10:29,641 --> 01:10:32,680
Fuck! Fuck, fuck!
1269
01:10:32,681 --> 01:10:34,640
- Are you okay? Is it horrible?
- I'm fine.
1270
01:10:34,641 --> 01:10:36,520
- Are you sure? Are you having any fun?
- Yeah, I am.
1271
01:10:36,521 --> 01:10:39,122
The dress looks good.
I'm gonna be right back.
1272
01:10:39,641 --> 01:10:42,160
- I don't know what she sees in her.
- Mother.
1273
01:10:42,161 --> 01:10:45,280
- She's flat-chested.
- Jesus, mother.
1274
01:10:45,281 --> 01:10:48,240
But at least you're
Jewish, right, dear?
1275
01:10:48,241 --> 01:10:51,840
- Uh, no, but I've been to a seder.
- Well, that's nice.
1276
01:10:51,841 --> 01:10:55,680
Hey, guys, congratulations.
I'm sorry I'm a little late.
1277
01:10:55,681 --> 01:10:57,849
Congratulations.
1278
01:10:58,481 --> 01:11:00,160
- Hey.
- Hey, Meyers.
1279
01:11:00,161 --> 01:11:02,280
- I've been looking all over for you.
- Oh, why?
1280
01:11:02,281 --> 01:11:06,040
Well, just to, uh...
Did you get my...
1281
01:11:06,041 --> 01:11:07,760
- What?
- Nothing.
1282
01:11:07,761 --> 01:11:09,520
- What, what, what?
- Nothing. It doesn't matter.
1283
01:11:09,521 --> 01:11:12,640
Helen, dear, have you thought
about the kids issue?
1284
01:11:12,641 --> 01:11:17,120
I mean, you could of course each
try artificial inseminating.
1285
01:11:17,121 --> 01:11:21,200
Could you excuse me for a minute?
I really have to pee.
1286
01:11:21,201 --> 01:11:24,160
- Did you see the view?
- No. I haven't had a chance actually.
1287
01:11:24,161 --> 01:11:27,092
Why don't we just go look at it?
1288
01:11:34,161 --> 01:11:36,125
- Hi, Helen.
- Oh, my God.
1289
01:11:36,561 --> 01:11:39,685
Joan, hi.
1290
01:11:40,081 --> 01:11:43,524
- Hi, sorry. I was just, um...
- I know. Do you smoke?
1291
01:11:43,721 --> 01:11:47,562
- No, I don't.
- Good. Neither do I.
1292
01:11:51,081 --> 01:11:53,280
- Oh, my God.
- I know.
1293
01:11:53,281 --> 01:11:55,320
It's so beautiful.
1294
01:11:55,321 --> 01:11:57,728
Yeah.
1295
01:11:58,961 --> 01:12:02,240
- Are you cold?
- No, I'm fine.
1296
01:12:02,241 --> 01:12:04,840
- Here. Why don't you take my jacket?
- No, really. I'm fine.
1297
01:12:04,841 --> 01:12:08,640
Jessica. What?
1298
01:12:08,641 --> 01:12:11,400
- Are you okay?
- Yeah. Why?
1299
01:12:11,401 --> 01:12:13,120
I just...
1300
01:12:13,121 --> 01:12:16,245
I haven't heard you say my
first name in, like, a decade.
1301
01:12:16,281 --> 01:12:18,961
Oh. Right. Sorry.
1302
01:12:19,481 --> 01:12:22,651
- Stein, just take my coat.
- Okay, thanks.
1303
01:12:24,121 --> 01:12:27,440
- It's just like kissing a guy.
- No, it's not.
1304
01:12:27,441 --> 01:12:30,280
No, it's not.
1305
01:12:30,281 --> 01:12:32,000
How's it different?
1306
01:12:32,001 --> 01:12:34,283
Well,
1307
01:12:34,681 --> 01:12:39,400
the lips are softer and
the body's softer.
1308
01:12:39,401 --> 01:12:44,641
And there's this nonthreatening
but very exciting...
1309
01:12:46,801 --> 01:12:49,200
It's kind of hard to describe.
1310
01:12:49,201 --> 01:12:52,484
Wow. Wow.
1311
01:12:52,601 --> 01:12:55,407
It's pretty fuckin'
awesome actually.
1312
01:13:00,321 --> 01:13:02,444
Whoa.
1313
01:13:07,601 --> 01:13:09,920
- Like, a year, right? And that's it.
- Who knows? An hour.
1314
01:13:09,921 --> 01:13:11,320
And then you've impacted
the entire world.
1315
01:13:11,321 --> 01:13:12,600
This is exactly...
1316
01:13:12,601 --> 01:13:17,160
I feel like I've always had this
theory along the same lines.
1317
01:13:17,161 --> 01:13:21,680
It's really stupid, but I've
always felt if you could be
1318
01:13:21,681 --> 01:13:24,120
the guy or gal to come up
with a really good quote.
1319
01:13:24,121 --> 01:13:25,160
Right.
1320
01:13:25,161 --> 01:13:28,160
But good, like a good one.
A good little nugget.
1321
01:13:28,161 --> 01:13:30,440
Like, "Nothing to fear
but fear itself."
1322
01:13:30,441 --> 01:13:32,640
- That's a good one.
- Or, "Ask not what your country..."
1323
01:13:32,641 --> 01:13:34,000
And then you're done.
1324
01:13:34,001 --> 01:13:37,960
I mean, that's like immortality
in one kind of lightbulb moment.
1325
01:13:37,961 --> 01:13:43,120
You just go off to some Caribbean island
and drink all day and read and...
1326
01:13:43,121 --> 01:13:46,280
- What are you doing?
- Um, I just...
1327
01:13:46,281 --> 01:13:48,280
Hey, hey, hey, Meyers.
Take it easy.
1328
01:13:48,281 --> 01:13:51,040
- We got plenty, you know. It's an open bar.
- Yeah. I just...
1329
01:13:51,041 --> 01:13:54,320
I know. I needed that
unfortunately badly because...
1330
01:13:54,321 --> 01:13:57,730
I have to tell you something
and it's just gonna be hard.
1331
01:13:57,881 --> 01:13:59,082
Oh.
1332
01:13:59,921 --> 01:14:03,040
Oh, my God. Are you firing me?
1333
01:14:03,041 --> 01:14:05,080
Is that why you brought up
the quitting and everything?
1334
01:14:05,081 --> 01:14:06,680
No, no. I'm not firing you.
1335
01:14:06,681 --> 01:14:09,120
I went to see your show last night.
1336
01:14:09,121 --> 01:14:13,200
And I brought you flowers because
I knew you were really sad.
1337
01:14:13,201 --> 01:14:17,200
But, you know, the truth is that
you've been really happy lately.
1338
01:14:17,201 --> 01:14:19,480
I've noticed. I mean, so happy.
1339
01:14:19,481 --> 01:14:22,207
And that's made me really sad.
1340
01:14:22,881 --> 01:14:26,000
Inexplicably, deeply sad.
1341
01:14:26,001 --> 01:14:31,880
You know? I mean, different than my
general snarky, bitter, tortured thing.
1342
01:14:31,881 --> 01:14:37,280
And... So anyway, I went to see
your show, not knowing exactly why,
1343
01:14:37,281 --> 01:14:39,449
and I saw your piece.
1344
01:14:40,801 --> 01:14:43,481
And I stared.
1345
01:14:44,241 --> 01:14:47,880
And then I had to get out
of there. I ran home.
1346
01:14:47,881 --> 01:14:51,600
And I started writing. I...
1347
01:14:51,601 --> 01:14:53,680
Just writing, all night.
1348
01:14:53,681 --> 01:14:56,040
Then I wrote all night
and into today.
1349
01:14:56,041 --> 01:14:58,320
I mean, that's why I
was late. I was writing.
1350
01:14:58,321 --> 01:15:00,440
And you know what?
1351
01:15:00,441 --> 01:15:04,240
I was happy doing it.
1352
01:15:04,241 --> 01:15:07,120
I was really happy for the
first time in a long time.
1353
01:15:07,121 --> 01:15:10,920
And as soon as I felt
this happy thing, I...
1354
01:15:10,921 --> 01:15:13,408
I wanted to be with you.
1355
01:15:15,721 --> 01:15:18,320
You were the first person
I wanted to be with.
1356
01:15:18,321 --> 01:15:20,480
I mean, then it hit me, and
this was around 6:00 a.m.
1357
01:15:20,481 --> 01:15:22,843
You know, it hit me that
1358
01:15:23,121 --> 01:15:27,160
the reason that I was so
sad when you got so happy,
1359
01:15:27,161 --> 01:15:30,440
and I was happier
when you got so sad,
1360
01:15:30,441 --> 01:15:32,450
was not because I didn't
want you to be happy.
1361
01:15:33,601 --> 01:15:38,204
It was just because I wanted to be
part of the reason you were happy.
1362
01:15:38,481 --> 01:15:40,968
I wanna make you happy.
1363
01:15:42,860 --> 01:15:44,734
Or more specifically, do you wanna
have dinner with me tomorrow night?
1364
01:15:46,013 --> 01:15:47,942
Maybe?
1365
01:15:56,693 --> 01:15:59,492
If you'll excuse me, I
definitely need another drink.
1366
01:15:59,493 --> 01:16:01,532
No, wait.
1367
01:16:01,533 --> 01:16:05,892
I would have dinner
with you, but I can't.
1368
01:16:05,893 --> 01:16:08,772
I can't have dinner.
1369
01:16:08,773 --> 01:16:12,092
What, not the season?
1370
01:16:12,093 --> 01:16:17,332
No, um, I can't have
dinner with you
1371
01:16:17,333 --> 01:16:20,582
because I'm with Helen.
1372
01:16:21,173 --> 01:16:23,372
You're gonna have
dinner with Helen?
1373
01:16:23,373 --> 01:16:25,572
No.
1374
01:16:25,573 --> 01:16:28,172
I'm, um,
1375
01:16:28,173 --> 01:16:31,422
with Helen.
1376
01:16:36,453 --> 01:16:40,703
- As in with-with?
- Right. with-with.
1377
01:16:41,613 --> 01:16:43,972
Wow.
1378
01:16:43,973 --> 01:16:46,332
I don't know what to say.
1379
01:16:46,333 --> 01:16:48,422
- I don't either.
- Jess?
1380
01:16:48,493 --> 01:16:50,772
Yeah. Hey.
1381
01:16:50,773 --> 01:16:54,261
- Hey, they're serving the first course.
- Great. Um...
1382
01:16:56,133 --> 01:17:00,054
- Here, your jacket.
- Right. Excuse me. I'm sorry.
1383
01:17:01,173 --> 01:17:05,264
- Hey, Josh.
- Hey, Helen.
1384
01:17:07,973 --> 01:17:09,972
How are you?
1385
01:17:09,973 --> 01:17:12,619
I'm good, thanks.
1386
01:17:14,933 --> 01:17:17,101
That's good.
1387
01:17:28,573 --> 01:17:31,332
Summer journeys to Niagara
1388
01:17:31,333 --> 01:17:36,412
And to other places
aggravate all our cares
1389
01:17:36,413 --> 01:17:38,612
We'll save our fares
1390
01:17:38,613 --> 01:17:40,212
Take these right now.
1391
01:17:40,213 --> 01:17:42,092
I've a cozy little flat
1392
01:17:42,093 --> 01:17:44,572
In what is known as old Manhattan
1393
01:17:44,573 --> 01:17:47,812
We'll settle down
1394
01:17:47,813 --> 01:17:51,932
Right here in town
1395
01:17:51,933 --> 01:17:54,092
Oh, we have more.
You know what I forgot?
1396
01:17:54,093 --> 01:17:55,852
We'll have Manhattan
1397
01:17:55,853 --> 01:17:59,739
The Bronx and Staten Island too
1398
01:18:00,133 --> 01:18:04,852
It's lovely going through
1399
01:18:04,853 --> 01:18:06,012
Okay. Hold on.
1400
01:18:06,013 --> 01:18:07,212
The zoo
1401
01:18:07,213 --> 01:18:10,612
Watch. He's gonna...
1402
01:18:10,613 --> 01:18:11,812
Oh, my God.
1403
01:18:11,813 --> 01:18:12,932
It's very fancy
1404
01:18:12,933 --> 01:18:17,012
On old Delaney Street you know
1405
01:18:17,013 --> 01:18:21,532
The subway charms us so
1406
01:18:21,533 --> 01:18:25,012
When balmy breezes blow
1407
01:18:25,013 --> 01:18:27,772
To and fro
1408
01:18:27,773 --> 01:18:29,092
And tell me what street
compares with Mott Street
1409
01:18:29,093 --> 01:18:31,052
It's for your heart,
1410
01:18:31,053 --> 01:18:32,732
for running, for, you know...
1411
01:18:32,733 --> 01:18:34,856
In July
1412
01:18:35,453 --> 01:18:37,892
Almost there. Almost there.
1413
01:18:37,893 --> 01:18:40,212
Sweet pushcarts gently gliding by
1414
01:18:40,213 --> 01:18:42,532
- Come on, come on, come on.
- I've got a cramp.
1415
01:18:42,533 --> 01:18:47,252
The great big city's a wondrous toy
1416
01:18:47,253 --> 01:18:50,775
- Come on.
- Hey, wait.
1417
01:18:52,253 --> 01:18:54,492
We'll turn Manhattan
1418
01:18:54,493 --> 01:18:58,532
Into an isle of joy
1419
01:18:58,533 --> 01:19:01,292
The great big city's
1420
01:19:01,293 --> 01:19:04,012
A wondrous toy
1421
01:19:04,013 --> 01:19:08,343
Just made for a girl and...
Girl and... Girl and...
1422
01:19:09,293 --> 01:19:11,812
We'll turn Manhattan
1423
01:19:11,813 --> 01:19:17,736
Into an isle of joy
1424
01:19:28,373 --> 01:19:31,577
Sweetie, I'm exhausted.
I'm gonna hit the hay.
1425
01:19:44,373 --> 01:19:46,575
Thanks.
1426
01:19:57,173 --> 01:19:59,092
That must be a pretty good book.
1427
01:19:59,093 --> 01:20:01,739
It is. It's amazing actually.
1428
01:20:03,813 --> 01:20:07,372
- That's enough reading for one night.
- Sweetie, stop it.
1429
01:20:07,373 --> 01:20:10,782
I just want to finish this chapter.
It's really interesting.
1430
01:20:15,893 --> 01:20:18,175
Sorry.
1431
01:20:22,773 --> 01:20:25,012
Oh, fuck.
1432
01:20:25,013 --> 01:20:26,252
What?
1433
01:20:26,253 --> 01:20:28,772
No. I just forgot to pick
up my dry cleaning again.
1434
01:20:28,773 --> 01:20:31,252
I got it.
1435
01:20:31,253 --> 01:20:33,979
- You did?
- Yeah.
1436
01:20:48,053 --> 01:20:49,772
Can't we talk about this?
1437
01:20:49,773 --> 01:20:52,612
No, sweetie we've talked.
We talk all the time.
1438
01:20:52,613 --> 01:20:55,892
- I know, I know. Isn't it great?
- Of course it's great.
1439
01:20:55,893 --> 01:20:57,252
Our talks are great.
1440
01:20:57,253 --> 01:20:59,972
So good communication is the key
to a successful relationship.
1441
01:20:59,973 --> 01:21:03,132
- We never have sex.
- What? Yes, we do. What do you mean?
1442
01:21:03,133 --> 01:21:05,492
- We don't.
- Yes, we do.
1443
01:21:05,493 --> 01:21:07,741
When was the last time, sweetie?
1444
01:21:08,773 --> 01:21:11,852
- I gotta think about it for a...
- A month ago.
1445
01:21:11,853 --> 01:21:14,812
Okay, okay. But it was good, right?
1446
01:21:14,813 --> 01:21:17,132
It was... It was good.
Wasn't it good?
1447
01:21:17,133 --> 01:21:20,332
- You drank a bottle of wine.
- No, I didn't. That's not true.
1448
01:21:20,333 --> 01:21:22,532
That's not true. I had
maybe two and a half...
1449
01:21:22,533 --> 01:21:25,652
- Jess, what we have is a friendship.
- What do you mean?
1450
01:21:25,653 --> 01:21:29,372
- We're best friends.
- I know. Isn't it great?
1451
01:21:29,373 --> 01:21:32,052
Of course it's great.
It just isn't enough.
1452
01:21:32,053 --> 01:21:34,612
How can you say that? I love you.
1453
01:21:34,613 --> 01:21:36,492
I love you too.
That isn't the issue.
1454
01:21:36,493 --> 01:21:38,412
Well, what is the issue?
What is the issue?
1455
01:21:38,413 --> 01:21:40,412
- I wanna be with someone who wants me.
- I want you.
1456
01:21:40,413 --> 01:21:44,172
- I wanna be with someone who craves me.
- Well, I crave you.
1457
01:21:44,173 --> 01:21:46,819
Someone who wants to
rip my clothes off.
1458
01:21:47,493 --> 01:21:50,012
Why, why, Why?
1459
01:21:50,013 --> 01:21:53,692
Why can't it just be great
and loving and tender?
1460
01:21:53,693 --> 01:21:56,172
Why is that not enough for you?
I don't understand.
1461
01:21:56,173 --> 01:22:00,852
I mean, don't you think maybe you place
a little too much emphasis on sex?
1462
01:22:00,853 --> 01:22:04,732
Have you ever thought that it's just one
component of a much larger package?
1463
01:22:04,733 --> 01:22:06,732
- Jesus Christ, I want the whole package!
- I do too.
1464
01:22:06,733 --> 01:22:11,063
- I think we have it. We live together.
- We're roommates.
1465
01:22:13,013 --> 01:22:15,612
How can you say that to me?
1466
01:22:18,533 --> 01:22:23,692
- Hi, it's Jessica and Helen.
- We're not home now.
1467
01:22:23,693 --> 01:22:26,892
But if you leave us a message, we
will definitely call you back.
1468
01:22:28,213 --> 01:22:30,012
Hello, my darlings. It's Mom.
1469
01:22:30,013 --> 01:22:33,296
Daddy got reservations for us
at Nobu, and not at 5:30.
1470
01:23:22,093 --> 01:23:24,492
Um, can I just stick
this on the board?
1471
01:23:24,493 --> 01:23:27,139
- Yeah, right. Sure.
- Is that fine?
1472
01:23:29,093 --> 01:23:32,892
- You're an artist?
- Oh, yeah. Trying to be.
1473
01:23:32,893 --> 01:23:36,292
- Thanks.
- I actually might know somebody.
1474
01:23:36,293 --> 01:23:38,212
You know someone who
might be interested?
1475
01:23:38,213 --> 01:23:39,292
Yeah. Could be.
1476
01:23:39,293 --> 01:23:41,492
Really? Well, maybe...
Should I leave you one?
1477
01:23:41,493 --> 01:23:43,775
- Yeah.
- Maybe I'll leave you three.
1478
01:23:44,053 --> 01:23:47,412
Okay. Well, I would
really be grateful.
1479
01:23:47,413 --> 01:23:50,012
So thanks for the...
1480
01:23:50,013 --> 01:23:52,292
- Jessica?
- Oh, my God.
1481
01:23:52,293 --> 01:23:54,292
- Hi. Hi.
- Hi.
1482
01:23:56,053 --> 01:23:57,292
How are you?
1483
01:23:57,293 --> 01:23:59,772
I'm good. I'm great. How are you?
1484
01:23:59,773 --> 01:24:03,132
- Good, I'm good.
- Good. God, it's been a really long time.
1485
01:24:03,133 --> 01:24:07,172
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. So how's...
- So how's...
1486
01:24:07,173 --> 01:24:10,492
- I'm sorry. I... You... What...
- Oh, no. I was just gonna say...
1487
01:24:10,493 --> 01:24:12,412
I'm sorry. You go ahead.
Go ahead, speak.
1488
01:24:12,413 --> 01:24:14,980
- How's your writing coming?
- It's good.
1489
01:24:15,053 --> 01:24:18,572
- It's, you know, glamorous.
- Yeah, right. I can see that.
1490
01:24:18,573 --> 01:24:21,212
- How's the paper?
- Oh, um...
1491
01:24:21,213 --> 01:24:23,412
- I quit actually.
- Really?
1492
01:24:23,413 --> 01:24:26,092
- Yeah, I left a few months after you did.
- Wow.
1493
01:24:26,093 --> 01:24:29,456
- Really? That's great.
- Yeah, it was great. It was really great.
1494
01:24:29,693 --> 01:24:32,612
- So you're painting?
- Um, yes.
1495
01:24:32,613 --> 01:24:34,852
I mean, you know, not
for cash, but yeah.
1496
01:24:34,853 --> 01:24:37,332
- Right, well, who needs cash?
- Who needs cash? I do.
1497
01:24:37,333 --> 01:24:39,932
- Right. Right. Yeah.
- So...
1498
01:24:39,933 --> 01:24:42,215
- How's Helen?
- Oh, um...
1499
01:24:42,773 --> 01:24:45,783
She's good. She's great.
1500
01:24:46,293 --> 01:24:49,172
- We're not together anymore.
- I'm sorry.
1501
01:24:49,173 --> 01:24:51,372
- Thanks, yeah.
- What happened?
1502
01:24:51,373 --> 01:24:52,492
Um...
1503
01:24:52,493 --> 01:24:54,502
She dumped me.
1504
01:24:54,813 --> 01:24:57,212
- Wow.
- Yeah, yeah.
1505
01:24:57,213 --> 01:25:00,212
- That's bad. I'm sorry.
- Yeah, it was bad. Thank you.
1506
01:25:00,213 --> 01:25:02,532
That's okay. What are you gonna do?
1507
01:25:02,533 --> 01:25:05,812
She wanted to be with
somebody a little more...
1508
01:25:05,813 --> 01:25:07,452
A little more?
1509
01:25:07,453 --> 01:25:13,057
A little more gay,
I guess, was the thing.
1510
01:25:13,133 --> 01:25:16,212
- Right. Wow.
- So what are you gonna do, right?
1511
01:25:16,213 --> 01:25:18,415
Yeah. What are you gonna do?
1512
01:25:18,973 --> 01:25:21,412
So... But we're friends now.
1513
01:25:21,413 --> 01:25:23,012
- Well, that's good. That's very good.
- So it's good.
1514
01:25:23,013 --> 01:25:26,012
- Yeah, it's very good.
- Yeah. Friends are good.
1515
01:25:26,013 --> 01:25:28,056
Friends are good.
1516
01:25:32,293 --> 01:25:35,092
Sweetie.
1517
01:25:35,093 --> 01:25:36,892
Will you please turn that off?
1518
01:25:36,893 --> 01:25:38,972
No, you turn it off.
1519
01:25:38,973 --> 01:25:41,492
You set it. You gotta get up.
1520
01:25:41,493 --> 01:25:44,092
I do have to get up.
1521
01:25:44,093 --> 01:25:46,252
But I turned it last time.
1522
01:25:46,253 --> 01:25:48,212
- You do it.
- All right. I'll make the coffee.
1523
01:25:48,213 --> 01:25:50,252
- All right. I'll turn it off.
- Oh, my God.
1524
01:25:50,253 --> 01:25:53,297
You slept on my arm
the entire night.
1525
01:25:55,893 --> 01:25:58,292
Oh, wait. I feel really tired.
1526
01:25:59,693 --> 01:26:01,692
- It's really good to see you too.
- It's good to see you too.
1527
01:26:01,693 --> 01:26:03,772
- It's nice to run into you.
- The same. The same.
1528
01:26:03,773 --> 01:26:05,941
- Okay. Take care.
- Okay.
1529
01:26:08,293 --> 01:26:10,452
- I wanted to get your...
- You know, I'd love to...
1530
01:26:10,453 --> 01:26:12,732
- I don't have your new number.
- New number, yeah.
1531
01:26:12,733 --> 01:26:15,412
You know what?
It's all on this flier.
1532
01:26:15,413 --> 01:26:19,732
My new number and actually,
my E-mail is best these days.
1533
01:26:19,733 --> 01:26:22,212
- E-mail?
- Yeah.
1534
01:26:22,213 --> 01:26:25,132
- I succumbed. E-mail is best.
- You succumbed. Yeah.
1535
01:26:25,133 --> 01:26:28,812
Wow, E-mail. Okay. Thanks.
1536
01:26:28,813 --> 01:26:31,012
- Okay, I'll see you later. Yeah, you too.
- Take care of yourself.
1537
01:26:31,013 --> 01:26:33,819
My breaking heart and I agree
1538
01:26:34,333 --> 01:26:38,412
That you and I could never be
1539
01:26:38,413 --> 01:26:42,012
So with my best my very best
1540
01:26:42,013 --> 01:26:43,332
I set you free
1541
01:26:43,333 --> 01:26:44,732
She's not here yet.
1542
01:26:44,733 --> 01:26:47,812
She ran into Josh Meyers.
Just now, that's why she's late.
1543
01:26:47,813 --> 01:26:49,812
I know, I know.
I'll get the whole story.
1544
01:26:49,813 --> 01:26:51,812
- Hey, sweetie.
- Oh, my God.
1545
01:26:51,813 --> 01:26:55,132
- Hi. Jessica just got here. I gotta go.
- Hi.
1546
01:26:55,133 --> 01:26:57,052
Okay. Yeah, I will. Bye.
1547
01:26:57,053 --> 01:26:59,532
- Laurie sends her love.
- Thank you.
1548
01:26:59,533 --> 01:27:02,452
So, what did he say?
1549
01:27:02,453 --> 01:27:05,412
Um... Well, first of all,
I got really nervous.
1550
01:27:05,413 --> 01:27:07,572
- Oh, my God. That's such a surprise.
- I know, I know.
1551
01:27:07,573 --> 01:27:11,292
That you and I could never be
1552
01:27:11,293 --> 01:27:15,012
So with my best my very best
1553
01:27:15,013 --> 01:27:17,215
I set you free
1554
01:27:19,173 --> 01:27:23,812
I wish you shelter from the storm
1555
01:27:23,813 --> 01:27:27,692
A cozy fire to keep you warm
1556
01:27:27,693 --> 01:27:31,372
But most of all when
snowflakes fall
1557
01:27:31,373 --> 01:27:35,214
I wish you love
1558
01:27:43,413 --> 01:27:45,412
No cares for me
1559
01:27:45,413 --> 01:27:47,572
I'm happy as I can be
1560
01:27:47,573 --> 01:27:49,892
I've learned to love and to live
1561
01:27:49,893 --> 01:27:52,016
Devil may care
1562
01:27:53,373 --> 01:27:55,692
No cares or woes
1563
01:27:55,693 --> 01:27:58,052
Whatever comes, later goes
1564
01:27:58,053 --> 01:28:00,532
That's how I'll take and I'll give
1565
01:28:00,533 --> 01:28:02,892
Devil may care
1566
01:28:02,893 --> 01:28:05,212
When the day is through
1567
01:28:05,213 --> 01:28:08,412
I suffer no regrets
1568
01:28:08,413 --> 01:28:10,412
I know that he who frets
1569
01:28:10,413 --> 01:28:13,219
Loses the night
1570
01:28:14,013 --> 01:28:16,012
For only a fool
1571
01:28:16,013 --> 01:28:18,372
Thinks he can hold back the dawn
1572
01:28:18,373 --> 01:28:20,892
He who is wise never
tries to revise
1573
01:28:20,893 --> 01:28:23,732
What's past and gone
1574
01:28:23,733 --> 01:28:26,052
Live love today
1575
01:28:26,053 --> 01:28:28,772
Then come tomorrow what may
1576
01:28:28,773 --> 01:28:31,372
Don't even stop for a sigh
1577
01:28:31,373 --> 01:28:33,932
It doesn't help if you cry
1578
01:28:33,933 --> 01:28:36,772
That's how I live and I'll die
1579
01:28:36,773 --> 01:28:39,453
Devil may care
1580
01:28:59,973 --> 01:29:01,972
No cares for me
1581
01:29:01,973 --> 01:29:04,252
I'm happy as I can be
1582
01:29:04,253 --> 01:29:07,492
I've learned to love and to live
1583
01:29:07,493 --> 01:29:10,292
Devil may care
1584
01:29:10,293 --> 01:29:12,292
No cares or woes
1585
01:29:12,293 --> 01:29:14,612
Whatever comes, later goes
1586
01:29:14,613 --> 01:29:16,892
That's how I take and I'll give
1587
01:29:16,893 --> 01:29:19,652
Devil may care
1588
01:29:19,653 --> 01:29:21,692
When the day is through
1589
01:29:21,693 --> 01:29:24,772
I suffer no regrets
1590
01:29:24,773 --> 01:29:26,772
I know that he who frets
1591
01:29:26,773 --> 01:29:28,941
Loses the night
1592
01:29:30,493 --> 01:29:32,492
For only a fool
1593
01:29:32,493 --> 01:29:35,292
Thinks he can hold back the dawn
1594
01:29:35,293 --> 01:29:37,612
He who is wise never
tries to revise
1595
01:29:37,613 --> 01:29:40,092
What's past and gone
1596
01:29:40,093 --> 01:29:43,012
Live love today
1597
01:29:43,013 --> 01:29:45,252
Then come tomorrow what may
1598
01:29:45,253 --> 01:29:47,532
Don't even stop for a sigh
1599
01:29:47,533 --> 01:29:50,732
It doesn't help if you cry
1600
01:29:50,733 --> 01:29:52,732
That's how I live and I'll die
1601
01:29:52,733 --> 01:29:53,885
Devil may care
228059
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