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00:03:00,973 --> 00:03:02,599
Thank you.
2
00:03:07,980 --> 00:03:09,982
All right, good night.
3
00:03:11,650 --> 00:03:15,821
Thank you, thank you very much
indeed. My name is Eric ldle.
4
00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:20,826
And if you think you're here
to see Billy ldol...
5
00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:23,537
...you can bugger off now, okay?
6
00:03:23,871 --> 00:03:28,751
Tonight we celebrate
the Ruby Jubilee of Monty Python.
7
00:03:36,925 --> 00:03:40,596
That's right,
we're celebrating 400 years...
8
00:03:40,804 --> 00:03:42,848
...of some of these jokes.
9
00:03:44,058 --> 00:03:46,477
And tonight we have for you
a premiere.
10
00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:49,396
We have this fantastic band...
11
00:03:59,114 --> 00:04:00,699
...from the BBC.
12
00:04:00,908 --> 00:04:03,994
And tonight they're under the baton
of a wonderful man...
13
00:04:04,370 --> 00:04:07,081
...a great partner of mine,
a great composer...
14
00:04:07,289 --> 00:04:09,750
...and a great friend, John Du Prez.
15
00:04:18,884 --> 00:04:21,845
Now, tonight there will be
one or two surprise guests...
16
00:04:22,054 --> 00:04:25,516
...so if you spot them,
please act surprised, okay?
17
00:04:25,724 --> 00:04:27,184
And respond accordingly.
18
00:04:27,393 --> 00:04:30,938
But first will you welcome, please,
our soloists for tonight...
19
00:04:31,397 --> 00:04:34,692
...Christopher Purves,
Shannon Mercer...
20
00:04:34,900 --> 00:04:37,361
...William Ferguson
and Rosalind Plowright.
21
00:04:42,032 --> 00:04:45,035
And in order to start the oratorio...
22
00:04:45,244 --> 00:04:48,664
...will you please welcome
somebody very special indeed...
23
00:04:48,872 --> 00:04:53,043
...who's playing the narrator tonight,
Mrs. Betty Palin.
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00:05:20,154 --> 00:05:22,573
Why do they titter so?
25
00:05:57,232 --> 00:06:00,486
You know,
l'd never heard of Monty Python...
26
00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:03,280
...until one day in 1 940.
27
00:06:03,489 --> 00:06:08,285
lt was early in the war and things
were going very badly for our boys.
28
00:06:08,577 --> 00:06:13,832
There was a shortage of lipstick and
many of the men had to share nylons.
29
00:06:14,333 --> 00:06:16,585
ln a small hotel near Henley...
30
00:06:16,794 --> 00:06:19,797
...where l'd gone for a weekend
with a rear admiral...
31
00:06:20,172 --> 00:06:23,592
...l found a book
that was to change my life...
32
00:06:24,593 --> 00:06:27,972
...and eventually my sex.
33
00:06:29,181 --> 00:06:32,518
ln 1 942, after a brief naval operation...
34
00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:35,479
...l became a woman...
35
00:06:35,688 --> 00:06:39,525
...and moved to Canada
to become a lumberjack.
36
00:06:42,194 --> 00:06:45,864
And then on to Alaska
to give birth to a governor...
37
00:06:46,073 --> 00:06:48,367
...but that's another story.
38
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:56,500
The book l found...
39
00:06:56,709 --> 00:07:00,296
...was by someone called
Monty Python.
40
00:07:00,504 --> 00:07:02,214
And it was called:
41
00:07:02,423 --> 00:07:06,302
The Book of Brian.
42
00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:36,790
The Book of Brian
43
00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:42,922
From The Book of Brian
44
00:07:45,633 --> 00:07:47,718
And at that time
45
00:07:47,927 --> 00:07:50,220
There shall be chaos
46
00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:53,265
Chaos
47
00:07:53,557 --> 00:07:54,725
Chaos
48
00:07:55,017 --> 00:07:56,310
Chaos
49
00:07:56,769 --> 00:07:59,897
Chaos, chaos, chaos, chaos
Chaos, chaos, chaos, chaos
50
00:08:00,231 --> 00:08:02,399
Chaos
51
00:08:02,900 --> 00:08:05,110
And confusion
52
00:08:05,611 --> 00:08:07,071
Confusion
53
00:08:07,321 --> 00:08:08,822
Confusion
54
00:08:09,031 --> 00:08:10,407
Confusion
55
00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:12,576
Chaos, chaos, chaos, chaos
56
00:08:12,785 --> 00:08:16,997
Chaos, chaos, chaos and confusion
57
00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:21,335
Chaos and confusion
58
00:08:21,710 --> 00:08:25,089
Chaos and confusion
59
00:08:25,297 --> 00:08:26,924
Chaos, chaos, chaos, chaos
60
00:08:27,132 --> 00:08:30,844
Chaos, chaos, chaos and confusion
61
00:08:31,136 --> 00:08:33,931
And irritation
62
00:08:34,139 --> 00:08:37,643
Oh, damn, damn, damn, damn
Damn, damn, damn, damn
63
00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:42,523
Damn, damn, damn, damn
Damn, damn, damn, damnation
64
00:08:42,982 --> 00:08:44,441
Damnation
65
00:08:44,817 --> 00:08:45,943
Damnation
66
00:08:46,527 --> 00:08:48,195
Damnation
67
00:08:48,404 --> 00:08:49,780
Damnation
68
00:08:50,281 --> 00:08:53,284
Chaos and confusion
69
00:08:53,909 --> 00:08:57,288
Chaos and confusion
70
00:08:57,496 --> 00:09:00,583
Chaos and damnation
71
00:09:01,083 --> 00:09:04,378
Chaos and damnation
72
00:09:04,670 --> 00:09:06,213
Chaos, chaos, chaos, chaos
73
00:09:06,422 --> 00:09:09,800
Chaos, chaos, chaos and confusion
74
00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:11,635
Chaos, chaos, chaos, chaos
75
00:09:11,844 --> 00:09:14,555
Chaos, chaos, chaos and damnation
76
00:09:14,805 --> 00:09:16,557
And disagreement
77
00:09:17,349 --> 00:09:18,934
-l don't agree
-l disagree
78
00:09:19,143 --> 00:09:20,728
-You're telling me
-l don't agree
79
00:09:21,020 --> 00:09:22,062
You don't agree with me?
80
00:09:22,271 --> 00:09:24,064
-Oh, no
-l don't agree with all of you
81
00:09:24,273 --> 00:09:26,483
-And so, what's that supposed to mean?
-Don't know
82
00:09:26,692 --> 00:09:28,986
-l disagree
-You're telling me you don't agree
83
00:09:29,195 --> 00:09:31,488
l disagree with all of you
84
00:09:31,739 --> 00:09:33,324
-l'm right
-You're wrong
85
00:09:33,532 --> 00:09:35,284
-l'm right
-You're wrong
86
00:09:35,492 --> 00:09:36,911
-l'm right
-You're wrong
87
00:09:37,119 --> 00:09:38,370
l'm right, you're wrong
88
00:09:38,579 --> 00:09:40,122
-l don't agree
-l disagree
89
00:09:40,331 --> 00:09:42,333
-You're telling me
-l don't agree
90
00:09:42,541 --> 00:09:43,834
-Don't agree with me?
-Oh, no
91
00:09:44,043 --> 00:09:45,419
l disagree with all of you
92
00:09:45,628 --> 00:09:47,338
And so, what's that supposed to mean?
93
00:09:47,546 --> 00:09:48,672
-Don't know
-l disagree
94
00:09:48,881 --> 00:09:50,674
You're telling me you don't agree
95
00:09:50,883 --> 00:09:53,344
Oh, get lost! Shut up!
96
00:10:03,604 --> 00:10:07,024
There was a general feeling
That the end of the world was nigh
97
00:10:10,277 --> 00:10:13,656
There shall be monsters
98
00:10:13,864 --> 00:10:17,159
There shall be monsters
99
00:10:17,576 --> 00:10:20,496
There shall be monsters
100
00:10:20,704 --> 00:10:26,377
With swollen bellies and great big lips
101
00:10:27,044 --> 00:10:30,548
And the beast shall have six heads
102
00:10:30,756 --> 00:10:33,884
And will run about the streets
103
00:10:34,260 --> 00:10:37,388
On 1 2 legs shouting '' Fire!''
104
00:10:37,596 --> 00:10:41,058
On 1 2 legs shouting '' Fire!''
105
00:10:41,267 --> 00:10:44,687
On 1 2 legs shouting '' Fire!''
106
00:10:45,312 --> 00:10:48,065
ln crowded places
107
00:10:48,524 --> 00:10:52,069
There shall be monsters
108
00:10:52,278 --> 00:10:55,739
There shall be monsters
109
00:10:55,948 --> 00:10:59,243
There shall be monsters
110
00:10:59,451 --> 00:11:03,747
With swollen bellies and great big lips
111
00:11:05,749 --> 00:11:09,336
-And the beast shall have six heads
-And the beast shall have six heads
112
00:11:09,545 --> 00:11:12,256
-And will run about the streets
-And will run about the streets
113
00:11:12,465 --> 00:11:16,218
-On 1 2 legs shouting '' Fire!''
-Fire, fire, fire, fire
114
00:11:16,427 --> 00:11:19,597
-On 1 2 legs shouting '' Fire!''
-Fire, fire, fire, fire
115
00:11:19,805 --> 00:11:23,851
-On 1 2 legs shouting '' Fire!''
-Fire, fire, fire, fire, fire
116
00:11:24,059 --> 00:11:26,770
ln crowded places
117
00:11:26,979 --> 00:11:29,899
-And a 1 6-breasted Gorgon
-And a 1 6-breasted Gorgon
118
00:11:30,107 --> 00:11:33,611
-Shall squat on a pole
-Shall squat on a pole
119
00:11:33,819 --> 00:11:35,696
Singing in French
120
00:11:41,952 --> 00:11:44,580
And some will say this is crap
121
00:11:45,164 --> 00:11:48,125
And religion is a trap
122
00:11:49,168 --> 00:11:52,963
And instead of reading prophecies
123
00:11:53,172 --> 00:11:57,635
You'd far better take a nap
124
00:11:58,594 --> 00:12:02,348
But other people
125
00:12:02,556 --> 00:12:05,518
Will be sore afraid
126
00:12:08,229 --> 00:12:10,523
Other people
127
00:12:10,731 --> 00:12:13,859
Will be sore afraid
128
00:12:16,112 --> 00:12:18,280
Other people
129
00:12:18,489 --> 00:12:22,076
Will be sore afraid
130
00:12:23,119 --> 00:12:25,371
And cry out
131
00:12:25,579 --> 00:12:31,377
Unto their Lord
132
00:12:32,253 --> 00:12:35,631
O God, you are so big
133
00:12:35,840 --> 00:12:39,510
You are so very huge
134
00:12:39,718 --> 00:12:40,970
My word
135
00:12:41,178 --> 00:12:45,850
What a size you are
136
00:12:46,225 --> 00:12:49,770
And we are tiny in thy sight
137
00:12:49,979 --> 00:12:54,191
So very small and very grotty
138
00:12:54,400 --> 00:12:57,945
And smelly and stupid
139
00:12:58,154 --> 00:13:02,199
And cheesy and spotty
140
00:13:02,908 --> 00:13:06,370
-You are so big
-You are so big
141
00:13:06,579 --> 00:13:09,874
-We are so small
-We are so small
142
00:13:10,249 --> 00:13:13,753
-You are so huge
-You are so huge
143
00:13:13,961 --> 00:13:17,548
-We are so tiny
-We are so tiny
144
00:13:17,757 --> 00:13:19,967
You are so big
145
00:13:20,176 --> 00:13:22,762
And we are naughty
146
00:13:22,970 --> 00:13:28,893
ln thy sight
147
00:13:30,102 --> 00:13:33,355
O God, you are so big
148
00:13:33,564 --> 00:13:37,068
You are so very huge
149
00:13:37,276 --> 00:13:38,486
My word
150
00:13:38,694 --> 00:13:43,574
What a size you are
151
00:13:43,949 --> 00:13:47,495
And we are tiny in thy sight
152
00:13:47,703 --> 00:13:52,124
So very small and very grotty
153
00:13:52,333 --> 00:13:55,753
And smelly and stupid
154
00:13:55,961 --> 00:14:00,091
And cheesy and spotty
155
00:14:00,633 --> 00:14:04,345
-You are so big
-You are so big
156
00:14:04,553 --> 00:14:07,973
-We are so small
-We are so small
157
00:14:08,224 --> 00:14:11,602
-You are so huge
-You are so huge
158
00:14:11,811 --> 00:14:15,481
-We are so tiny
-We are so tiny
159
00:14:15,690 --> 00:14:17,858
You are so big
160
00:14:18,067 --> 00:14:20,903
And we are naughty
161
00:14:21,112 --> 00:14:25,449
-ln
-ln
162
00:14:25,658 --> 00:14:31,706
Thy sight
163
00:14:41,632 --> 00:14:43,300
The evangelist Monty tells of...
164
00:14:43,509 --> 00:14:47,179
...the rather less than immaculate
conception of Brian.
165
00:14:52,601 --> 00:14:56,397
There was a young woman
Called Mandy
166
00:14:57,440 --> 00:14:59,734
A friend of the Lord's
167
00:14:59,942 --> 00:15:02,653
Who sold gourds in a stall
168
00:15:04,530 --> 00:15:08,284
Oh, who will buy my pretty gourds?
169
00:15:08,993 --> 00:15:11,037
Round and small
170
00:15:11,245 --> 00:15:15,374
Five shekels for them all
171
00:15:15,583 --> 00:15:19,378
Along came a Roman centurion
172
00:15:20,921 --> 00:15:23,174
-Nice gourds
-Said he
173
00:15:25,468 --> 00:15:27,762
Mind if l touch 'em?
174
00:15:29,805 --> 00:15:32,850
-Dream on
-Said she
175
00:15:34,393 --> 00:15:38,230
No one gets to touch my gourds
176
00:15:38,564 --> 00:15:40,775
Till l see
177
00:15:40,983 --> 00:15:45,780
The rewards for me
178
00:15:46,322 --> 00:15:50,618
-Nothing is free
-Well--
179
00:15:50,826 --> 00:15:54,705
He promised me
Half the then-known world
180
00:15:55,206 --> 00:15:57,041
Asses' milk
181
00:15:57,249 --> 00:16:02,046
To bathe in every day
182
00:16:02,254 --> 00:16:05,967
All the gold that l could eat
183
00:16:06,592 --> 00:16:09,011
A house in Rome
184
00:16:09,220 --> 00:16:13,140
Right on the Appian Way
185
00:16:16,435 --> 00:16:20,564
Soon he had his way with her
186
00:16:21,107 --> 00:16:24,819
Proved he was a man
187
00:16:25,861 --> 00:16:29,407
But like a rat out of an aqueduct
188
00:16:30,449 --> 00:16:34,161
When he was done, he ran
189
00:16:34,954 --> 00:16:38,958
Mandy was abandoned
190
00:16:39,500 --> 00:16:41,585
All alone
191
00:16:41,794 --> 00:16:46,090
Where was she to go?
192
00:16:47,550 --> 00:16:51,762
Oh, woe, woe, woe
193
00:16:51,971 --> 00:16:53,222
-Woe, woe, woe, woe
-Woe, woe, woe
194
00:16:53,431 --> 00:16:53,764
-Woe, woe, woe
-Woe, woe, woe
195
00:16:53,764 --> 00:16:54,473
-Woe, woe, woe
-Woe, woe, woe
196
00:16:56,601 --> 00:16:57,810
-Woe, woe, woe, woe
-Woe, woe, woe
197
00:16:58,019 --> 00:16:59,353
-Woe, woe, woe
-Woe, woe, woe
198
00:16:59,562 --> 00:17:01,063
Woe, woe, woe
199
00:17:01,355 --> 00:17:04,150
Alone, abandoned, and worse
200
00:17:06,152 --> 00:17:09,030
Six weeks without the curse
201
00:17:10,740 --> 00:17:12,658
Such rotten luck
202
00:17:12,867 --> 00:17:15,077
She was knocked up
203
00:17:15,620 --> 00:17:18,456
Woe, oh, woe, oh, woe
204
00:17:18,664 --> 00:17:20,124
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
205
00:17:20,333 --> 00:17:24,670
Alone without a husband
206
00:17:24,879 --> 00:17:29,216
-What's to become of me?
-Not a lot
207
00:17:29,425 --> 00:17:31,385
Where can l turn?
208
00:17:31,594 --> 00:17:33,638
And what can l do?
209
00:17:33,846 --> 00:17:38,601
-What chance for my progeny?
-None whatever
210
00:17:38,809 --> 00:17:42,980
ln an utterly male-dominated world
211
00:17:43,189 --> 00:17:47,318
ln a Middle East society
212
00:17:48,027 --> 00:17:52,740
A woman who is not married at all
213
00:17:52,949 --> 00:17:58,454
-What kind of chance has she?
-Not a snowball's chance in hell
214
00:17:58,663 --> 00:18:02,166
-The time drew nigh
-Nigh, nigh, nigh, nigh, nigh, nigh
215
00:18:02,375 --> 00:18:06,754
-For now there is really no doubt
-No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
216
00:18:06,963 --> 00:18:11,175
That she was clearly great with child
217
00:18:11,634 --> 00:18:14,804
And really not bad without
218
00:18:15,012 --> 00:18:17,098
Know what l mean
Say no more
219
00:18:17,306 --> 00:18:18,474
Nudge, nudge
220
00:18:47,044 --> 00:18:48,462
Bethlehem in Judea.
221
00:18:49,088 --> 00:18:50,715
Nought BC.
222
00:19:05,730 --> 00:19:10,026
And there were shepherds
Abiding in the fields
223
00:19:10,234 --> 00:19:14,238
Keeping watch o'er their flocks
By night
224
00:19:14,947 --> 00:19:19,160
And there were shepherds
Abiding in the fields
225
00:19:19,368 --> 00:19:23,915
Keeping watch o'er their flocks
By night
226
00:19:24,290 --> 00:19:28,085
Oh, we are humble shepherds
And our flocks we keep
227
00:19:28,586 --> 00:19:32,673
There's nothing we like better
Than just watching sheep
228
00:19:33,132 --> 00:19:37,094
We count them every day and night
Until we fall asleep
229
00:19:37,303 --> 00:19:41,641
And then we count them once again
'Cause we love sheep
230
00:19:41,849 --> 00:19:46,270
Sheep, sheep, sheep, sheep
Sheep, sheep, sheep
231
00:19:46,479 --> 00:19:50,358
Sheep, sheep, sheep, sheep
Sheep, sheep, sheep
232
00:19:50,566 --> 00:19:54,737
They're full of woolly thinking
lntellectually not deep
233
00:19:54,946 --> 00:19:57,114
But never mind their minds
We finds
234
00:19:57,323 --> 00:19:59,075
We all love sheep
235
00:20:03,788 --> 00:20:08,000
l wouldn't watch a flock of birds
Peep peep peep
236
00:20:08,209 --> 00:20:12,463
And watching flocks of cats
Would just make my skin creep
237
00:20:12,672 --> 00:20:16,801
And watching bloody camels
ls enough to make you weep
238
00:20:17,009 --> 00:20:21,389
They gives us all the hump
Because we all love sheep
239
00:20:21,597 --> 00:20:24,725
Sheep, sheep, sheep, sheep
Sheep, sheep, sheep
240
00:20:26,185 --> 00:20:30,106
Sheep, sheep, sheep, sheep
Sheep, sheep, sheep
241
00:20:30,314 --> 00:20:34,443
They're nicer than a wife
And they are certainly more cheap
242
00:20:34,652 --> 00:20:38,656
And you can eat them afterwards
And get some sleep
243
00:20:41,367 --> 00:20:47,832
We all love sheep
244
00:20:59,343 --> 00:21:02,889
ls it A.D. yet?
245
00:21:03,723 --> 00:21:05,141
About a quarter to.
246
00:21:14,692 --> 00:21:18,446
Look, in the sky over Bethlehem!
247
00:21:18,654 --> 00:21:21,115
Jesus Christ!
248
00:21:21,491 --> 00:21:23,201
No, next door.
249
00:21:23,618 --> 00:21:26,078
Oh, Mrs. Cohen's.
250
00:21:28,581 --> 00:21:31,876
Oh, blimey, it's a boy.
251
00:21:32,376 --> 00:21:34,253
He was born in a stable
252
00:21:37,048 --> 00:21:40,927
-ln a far distant land
-Amen, brother.
253
00:21:41,135 --> 00:21:44,555
He was born on a table
254
00:21:45,264 --> 00:21:49,227
The only thing handy
255
00:21:49,435 --> 00:21:53,606
To a woman named Mandy
256
00:21:53,815 --> 00:21:59,403
This man we call Brian
257
00:22:00,113 --> 00:22:02,782
He was not the chosen one
258
00:22:02,990 --> 00:22:05,743
Not the hero of his race
259
00:22:05,952 --> 00:22:10,748
Just the wrong man at the wrong time
ln the wrong place
260
00:22:10,957 --> 00:22:13,668
He was not the chosen one
261
00:22:13,876 --> 00:22:19,090
Not the hero of his race
262
00:22:19,424 --> 00:22:23,386
Just the wrong man at the wrong time
263
00:22:23,594 --> 00:22:26,264
ln the wrong place
264
00:22:26,889 --> 00:22:31,102
This man that we call
265
00:22:31,769 --> 00:22:33,688
Brian
266
00:22:34,188 --> 00:22:36,399
Brian
267
00:22:37,066 --> 00:22:42,530
Brian
268
00:22:52,874 --> 00:22:57,545
And the young boy Brian
Grew to be a man
269
00:22:57,754 --> 00:23:02,341
ln all the usual places
270
00:23:02,550 --> 00:23:07,055
And dreamed of doing
Very naughty things
271
00:23:07,263 --> 00:23:11,642
To girls with lovely faces
272
00:23:11,851 --> 00:23:16,647
l dreamed that girls
Wearing only underwear
273
00:23:16,856 --> 00:23:21,152
Undressed me and caressed me
274
00:23:21,569 --> 00:23:26,240
They rubbed me and scrubbed me
And tubbed me in warm oil
275
00:23:26,449 --> 00:23:30,828
And on my body they pressed me
276
00:23:31,079 --> 00:23:32,622
And his mother said:
277
00:23:32,997 --> 00:23:35,792
Brian, leave it alone
278
00:23:36,209 --> 00:23:40,880
And stop this sighing and moaning
279
00:23:41,172 --> 00:23:45,718
Take those naughty scrolls
And throw them on the coals
280
00:23:45,927 --> 00:23:50,098
Or we'll be late for the stoning
281
00:23:50,306 --> 00:23:55,061
l am not coming with you, Mother dear
282
00:23:55,728 --> 00:23:59,190
Stoning is so depressing
283
00:24:00,566 --> 00:24:05,279
l have something that l want to say
284
00:24:05,738 --> 00:24:10,034
That you may find distressing
285
00:24:12,537 --> 00:24:15,707
l want to change the world
286
00:24:17,333 --> 00:24:21,587
To set my people free
287
00:24:23,631 --> 00:24:28,052
Suddenly l can see
288
00:24:28,761 --> 00:24:33,933
What was meant to be
289
00:24:34,559 --> 00:24:37,395
This is a promised land
290
00:24:38,771 --> 00:24:44,068
A place we can call home
291
00:24:44,902 --> 00:24:49,907
l foresee our destiny
292
00:24:50,116 --> 00:24:55,496
One day free from Rome
293
00:24:55,705 --> 00:24:58,666
Once we're free
294
00:24:59,792 --> 00:25:04,922
From Roman tyranny
295
00:25:05,715 --> 00:25:10,219
We can live quite happily
296
00:25:10,428 --> 00:25:16,392
ln Galilee
297
00:25:16,601 --> 00:25:19,687
And so let's change the world
298
00:25:20,980 --> 00:25:26,903
Let's make the whole world see
299
00:25:27,111 --> 00:25:29,072
We are freer
300
00:25:29,822 --> 00:25:31,824
ln Judea
301
00:25:32,033 --> 00:25:36,996
Than anyone could hope
302
00:25:37,330 --> 00:25:42,126
To be
303
00:25:42,335 --> 00:25:46,214
Freedom, freedom, freedom
Freedom, now l'm free
304
00:25:46,631 --> 00:25:50,301
Freedom, freedom, freedom
Now l'm free
305
00:25:50,510 --> 00:25:53,262
Just give me freedom, freedom
306
00:25:53,471 --> 00:25:55,515
That is all l need
307
00:25:55,723 --> 00:25:59,185
Hallelujah, now l'm free
308
00:26:00,186 --> 00:26:04,482
Freedom, freedom, freedom
Freedom, now l'm free
309
00:26:04,691 --> 00:26:08,236
Freedom, freedom, freedom
Now l'm free
310
00:26:08,444 --> 00:26:11,322
Just give me freedom, freedom
311
00:26:11,531 --> 00:26:13,533
That is all l need
312
00:26:13,741 --> 00:26:17,078
Hallelujah, now l'm free
313
00:26:17,287 --> 00:26:19,747
-Just give me freedom
-Freedom, freedom
314
00:26:19,956 --> 00:26:21,582
Now l'm free
315
00:26:22,166 --> 00:26:26,254
-l said freedom
-Freedom, freedom, now l'm free
316
00:26:26,462 --> 00:26:29,257
Just give me freedom, freedom
317
00:26:29,465 --> 00:26:31,301
That is all l need
318
00:26:31,509 --> 00:26:35,847
Hallelujah, now l'm free
Oh, yeah
319
00:26:36,514 --> 00:26:42,186
Hallelujah, now l'm free
320
00:26:42,770 --> 00:26:49,319
Oh, yeah
321
00:26:54,866 --> 00:26:58,036
Sentimental claptrap.
322
00:26:58,286 --> 00:27:00,371
What do you know of freedom?
323
00:27:01,080 --> 00:27:02,749
Freedom from the Romans.
324
00:27:02,957 --> 00:27:05,960
That's a joke. You are a Roman.
325
00:27:06,753 --> 00:27:08,588
No, l'm not, l'm a Jew.
326
00:27:08,796 --> 00:27:11,215
Your father was a Roman.
327
00:27:11,424 --> 00:27:13,176
What? Mr. Cohen?
328
00:27:13,384 --> 00:27:18,264
No, not Mr. Cohen.
That's your cousin's brother.
329
00:27:18,473 --> 00:27:20,350
Your real father was a Roman.
330
00:27:20,850 --> 00:27:21,851
Oh, no.
331
00:27:22,185 --> 00:27:24,479
Oh, woe, woe, woe.
332
00:27:24,687 --> 00:27:25,897
-Woe, woe, woe, woe
-Woe, woe, woe
333
00:27:26,105 --> 00:27:27,398
-Woe, woe, woe
-Woe, woe, woe
334
00:27:27,607 --> 00:27:29,108
Woe, woe, woe
335
00:27:29,317 --> 00:27:30,568
-Woe, woe, woe, woe
-Woe, woe, woe
336
00:27:30,777 --> 00:27:31,903
-Woe, woe, woe
-Woe, woe, woe
337
00:27:32,111 --> 00:27:33,863
Shut up!
338
00:27:36,783 --> 00:27:38,618
l am struck dumb.
339
00:27:39,202 --> 00:27:41,079
Dumb, dumb, dumb
340
00:27:41,287 --> 00:27:44,207
Doo waddy waddy dum
Dum, dum, dum, dum
341
00:27:44,415 --> 00:27:46,501
Doo waddy waddy dum
Dum, dum--
342
00:27:46,709 --> 00:27:48,586
Shut up!
343
00:27:49,963 --> 00:27:52,173
l am going to avenge you, Mother.
344
00:27:52,382 --> 00:27:55,051
Rome will rue the day
they invaded you.
345
00:27:55,260 --> 00:27:59,430
l shall seek out the enemies
of Rome and join them.
346
00:28:06,229 --> 00:28:08,064
The Romans are all bastards
347
00:28:08,273 --> 00:28:10,608
They have bled us till we're white
348
00:28:10,817 --> 00:28:15,029
They've taken everything we've got
As if it was their right
349
00:28:15,405 --> 00:28:17,365
And we've got nothing in return
350
00:28:17,574 --> 00:28:19,826
Though they make so much fuss
351
00:28:20,285 --> 00:28:24,330
What have the Romans
Ever done for us?
352
00:28:24,956 --> 00:28:29,085
What have the Romans
What have the Romans
353
00:28:29,294 --> 00:28:33,423
What have the Romans
Ever done for us?
354
00:28:34,215 --> 00:28:36,843
-The aqueduct.
-What?
355
00:28:37,468 --> 00:28:41,139
They gave us the aqueduct.
356
00:28:44,684 --> 00:28:46,811
Oh, yes, they did give us that
That's true
357
00:28:47,020 --> 00:28:49,439
-And sanitation
-Yes, that too
358
00:28:49,647 --> 00:28:54,819
The aqueduct, l'll grant is one
Thing the Romans may have done
359
00:28:55,361 --> 00:28:57,697
And the roads, now they're all new
360
00:28:58,072 --> 00:29:00,658
And the great wines too
361
00:29:00,867 --> 00:29:03,828
Well, apart from
The wines and fermentation
362
00:29:04,037 --> 00:29:06,247
And the canals for navigation
363
00:29:06,456 --> 00:29:09,000
And public health for all the nation
364
00:29:09,209 --> 00:29:12,212
Apart from those, which are a plus
365
00:29:12,420 --> 00:29:15,340
What have the Romans
Ever done for us?
366
00:29:15,673 --> 00:29:19,761
What have the Romans
What have the Romans
367
00:29:19,969 --> 00:29:23,848
What have the Romans
Ever done for us?
368
00:29:24,724 --> 00:29:26,768
-The baths.
-What?
369
00:29:26,976 --> 00:29:28,102
The public baths.
370
00:29:28,436 --> 00:29:30,480
Oh, yes, Reg.
371
00:29:30,688 --> 00:29:33,191
The public baths are a great delight
372
00:29:33,399 --> 00:29:36,069
And it's safe to walk
ln the streets at night
373
00:29:36,277 --> 00:29:37,654
-Cheese
-And medicine
374
00:29:37,862 --> 00:29:38,947
lrrigation
375
00:29:39,155 --> 00:29:41,533
-Roman law
-And education
376
00:29:41,741 --> 00:29:44,577
The circus for our delectation
377
00:29:44,786 --> 00:29:47,038
And the gladiation
378
00:29:47,580 --> 00:29:50,500
Well, apart from medicine, irrigation
379
00:29:50,708 --> 00:29:53,545
Health, roads, cheese and education
380
00:29:53,753 --> 00:29:56,714
Baths and the Circus Maximus
381
00:29:56,923 --> 00:29:59,884
What have the Romans
Ever done for us?
382
00:30:00,260 --> 00:30:04,138
What have the Romans
What have the Romans
383
00:30:04,347 --> 00:30:08,184
What have the Romans
Ever done for us?
384
00:30:08,852 --> 00:30:12,480
-Brought peace.
-Oh, shut up!
385
00:30:16,776 --> 00:30:20,905
Are you the Judean People's Front?
386
00:30:21,114 --> 00:30:25,493
What? Judean People's Front we're not
387
00:30:25,994 --> 00:30:29,664
Nor the Popular Front of Judea
388
00:30:29,873 --> 00:30:34,586
Nor the People's Popular Front
You silly bunt
389
00:30:34,836 --> 00:30:41,676
We're the People's Front of Judea
390
00:30:43,052 --> 00:30:50,435
Yes, we're the People's Front of Judea
391
00:30:51,478 --> 00:30:54,439
The Popular Front we're not
392
00:30:55,690 --> 00:30:59,360
Nor the People's Front, you clot
393
00:31:00,069 --> 00:31:07,285
For we're the People's Front of Judea
394
00:31:07,911 --> 00:31:08,912
Can l join you?
395
00:31:09,120 --> 00:31:12,415
Before you join us, Brian
396
00:31:12,624 --> 00:31:16,836
You should know
There's not a single man
397
00:31:17,045 --> 00:31:21,925
Who would not willingly suffer death
398
00:31:22,133 --> 00:31:26,387
To rid this country of the Romans
399
00:31:26,596 --> 00:31:30,141
-One.
-Okay, yes, there's just one.
400
00:31:30,433 --> 00:31:37,607
But we're the People's Front of Judea
401
00:31:39,150 --> 00:31:46,199
Yes, we're the People's Front of Judea
402
00:31:47,534 --> 00:31:51,204
The Popular Front we're not
403
00:31:51,830 --> 00:31:55,500
Nor the People's Front, you twat
404
00:31:56,084 --> 00:32:03,508
For we're the People's Front of Judea
405
00:32:05,385 --> 00:32:07,679
Hi, l'm Judith
406
00:32:07,887 --> 00:32:10,473
l'm from Judea
407
00:32:10,682 --> 00:32:11,683
l'm Brian.
408
00:32:11,891 --> 00:32:13,268
-l know.
-Okay.
409
00:32:13,476 --> 00:32:20,525
-l joined because l wanted to be freer
-You too?
410
00:32:22,110 --> 00:32:26,072
lf there's anything l can do
411
00:32:26,281 --> 00:32:29,534
l'll be happy to help you
412
00:32:29,743 --> 00:32:30,994
Oh, good.
413
00:32:31,202 --> 00:32:37,834
For we're the People's Front of Judea
414
00:32:41,296 --> 00:32:44,215
Right, Brian, you're in.
415
00:32:44,424 --> 00:32:46,718
Now, then, new motion.
416
00:32:46,926 --> 00:32:49,387
The People's Front of Judea...
417
00:32:49,596 --> 00:32:53,808
...firmly believes and states
irrevocably for all time...
418
00:32:54,017 --> 00:32:58,897
...that it is the inalienable rights
of every man--
419
00:32:59,105 --> 00:33:02,942
-Or woman.
-Or woman, to rid himself--
420
00:33:03,151 --> 00:33:04,235
Or herself.
421
00:33:05,153 --> 00:33:07,781
Or herself. Thank you, brother.
422
00:33:07,989 --> 00:33:10,992
-Or sister.
-Or sister.
423
00:33:11,618 --> 00:33:13,495
-Where was l?
-Birthright.
424
00:33:13,953 --> 00:33:18,333
Furthermore, it is the birthright
of every man--
425
00:33:18,541 --> 00:33:20,418
-Or woman.
-Why don't you...
426
00:33:20,627 --> 00:33:22,879
...shut up about women, Stan?
427
00:33:23,088 --> 00:33:26,633
Women have a perfect right
to play a part in our movement, Reg.
428
00:33:27,175 --> 00:33:32,013
Why are you always
talking about women, Stan?
429
00:33:32,514 --> 00:33:34,349
l want to be one.
430
00:33:35,058 --> 00:33:36,059
What?
431
00:33:42,774 --> 00:33:45,610
l want to be a girl
432
00:33:45,819 --> 00:33:48,321
To make my dreams come true
433
00:33:48,530 --> 00:33:50,782
l want to see the world
434
00:33:50,990 --> 00:33:53,868
From a woman's point of view
435
00:33:54,411 --> 00:33:56,746
l want to wear high heels
436
00:33:56,955 --> 00:33:59,624
And put makeup on my face
437
00:34:00,166 --> 00:34:02,377
To wear a push-up bra
438
00:34:02,585 --> 00:34:05,463
And have panties made of lace
439
00:34:05,672 --> 00:34:08,842
-Good grief.
-l want to be a girl
440
00:34:09,050 --> 00:34:12,387
That's all l want to be
441
00:34:12,846 --> 00:34:15,473
l want to be a girl
442
00:34:16,224 --> 00:34:17,517
Dear me
443
00:34:19,644 --> 00:34:22,230
l want to be a girl
444
00:34:22,439 --> 00:34:24,941
Like every other lass
445
00:34:25,150 --> 00:34:27,569
To stress about my breast size
446
00:34:27,777 --> 00:34:30,655
And complain about my ass
447
00:34:30,864 --> 00:34:33,158
l want to shave my legs
448
00:34:33,700 --> 00:34:36,327
lnstead of just my beard
449
00:34:36,536 --> 00:34:38,913
At the end of every month
450
00:34:39,122 --> 00:34:43,168
l want to be extremely weird
451
00:34:43,793 --> 00:34:46,755
l want to be his girl
452
00:34:46,963 --> 00:34:50,467
That's all l want to be
453
00:34:50,675 --> 00:34:53,678
You want to be the girl
454
00:34:53,887 --> 00:34:56,348
For me?
455
00:34:57,807 --> 00:35:00,310
l want to find a guy
456
00:35:00,518 --> 00:35:03,146
Who l can run to see
457
00:35:03,521 --> 00:35:06,024
My fantasy who'll one day say
458
00:35:06,232 --> 00:35:08,860
''Stan, you're the man for me''
459
00:35:09,402 --> 00:35:11,696
l want to have a baby
460
00:35:12,072 --> 00:35:14,115
And feed it on fresh lox
461
00:35:15,158 --> 00:35:17,911
Where's the foetus to gestate?
462
00:35:18,119 --> 00:35:21,539
You're gonna keep it in a box?
463
00:35:22,248 --> 00:35:25,669
l want to be your girl
464
00:35:25,877 --> 00:35:29,339
A wife and mother too
465
00:35:30,131 --> 00:35:37,180
-l want to be a girl like you
-l want to be a girl like you
466
00:35:37,597 --> 00:35:40,767
l want a world that's new
467
00:35:40,976 --> 00:35:44,270
A world completely better
468
00:35:44,980 --> 00:35:50,402
From now on, please call me Loretta
469
00:35:58,827 --> 00:35:59,828
What the...?
470
00:36:00,036 --> 00:36:03,748
Supposing we say he can't
have babies, not having a womb...
471
00:36:03,957 --> 00:36:06,167
...but he can have
the right to have babies.
472
00:36:07,919 --> 00:36:09,921
-Open up!
-Who is it?
473
00:36:10,463 --> 00:36:12,007
The Roman Empire.
474
00:36:12,465 --> 00:36:15,760
Quick, run for it.
Every man for himself.
475
00:36:19,431 --> 00:36:21,558
So young Brian fled
To the market square
476
00:36:24,728 --> 00:36:28,440
There were lots of preachers
Teaching there
477
00:36:29,107 --> 00:36:33,278
And a burning Bush shall come out
of a White House burning everything.
478
00:36:33,695 --> 00:36:36,281
A friend shall lose his friend's hammer.
479
00:36:36,823 --> 00:36:40,785
Blessed are the accountants,
for they shall file tax returns.
480
00:36:40,994 --> 00:36:43,955
There shall be monsters
481
00:36:44,372 --> 00:36:47,125
But over the rest of Judea,
there'll be showers...
482
00:36:47,334 --> 00:36:49,544
...with scattered outbreaks of plague.
483
00:36:49,836 --> 00:36:53,632
Here, is that Brian,
one of the revolutionaries?
484
00:36:54,049 --> 00:36:56,468
No, l think he's just a preacher.
485
00:36:58,970 --> 00:37:01,556
How blessed are the birds.
486
00:37:03,099 --> 00:37:04,309
What?
487
00:37:04,976 --> 00:37:08,313
How blessed are the birds.
488
00:37:08,730 --> 00:37:10,732
Are you the Messiah?
489
00:37:11,232 --> 00:37:13,902
-No.
-You are, aren't you?
490
00:37:14,110 --> 00:37:15,946
-No. No, l'm not.
-You look like one.
491
00:37:16,780 --> 00:37:18,615
Well-- Well, l'm not.
492
00:37:18,823 --> 00:37:19,824
Hail Messiah!
493
00:37:20,367 --> 00:37:22,827
-Hail Messiah!
-You are the Messiah.
494
00:37:23,036 --> 00:37:24,829
And l should know, l've followed a few.
495
00:37:27,374 --> 00:37:29,167
You're the one
496
00:37:30,877 --> 00:37:33,588
You're the one
497
00:37:33,797 --> 00:37:35,924
You're the one
498
00:37:36,132 --> 00:37:40,011
You've finally come along
499
00:37:40,220 --> 00:37:46,268
You're the one to show us
Right from wrong
500
00:37:46,601 --> 00:37:49,354
You're the one
501
00:37:49,813 --> 00:37:52,774
You're the one
502
00:37:52,983 --> 00:37:58,697
You're the one l adore
503
00:37:59,364 --> 00:38:05,203
You're the one
That we've been waiting for
504
00:38:05,412 --> 00:38:11,084
To cure the meek and heal the poor
505
00:38:11,293 --> 00:38:14,713
You're the one
506
00:38:15,130 --> 00:38:18,091
You're the one
507
00:38:18,508 --> 00:38:24,764
-Like a rock in the dark
-Like a rock in the dark
508
00:38:24,973 --> 00:38:30,896
-Like a candle in the middle of a park
-Like a candle in the middle of a park
509
00:38:31,354 --> 00:38:32,814
-Like a cake
-Like a cake
510
00:38:33,023 --> 00:38:37,360
-That's been left out in the rain
-That's been left out in the rain
511
00:38:37,861 --> 00:38:44,201
-On a plain in Spain
-On a plain in Spain
512
00:38:44,409 --> 00:38:50,415
You're the one we're dreaming of
513
00:38:50,624 --> 00:38:56,463
You're the bright and shining
Light of love
514
00:38:57,005 --> 00:39:02,385
Like a torch from up above
515
00:39:02,594 --> 00:39:06,348
You're the one
516
00:39:06,556 --> 00:39:09,309
You're the one
517
00:39:09,768 --> 00:39:12,270
You're the one
518
00:39:12,896 --> 00:39:15,774
There's no doubt
519
00:39:15,982 --> 00:39:22,239
You're the one we cannot live without
520
00:39:22,447 --> 00:39:27,786
You're the living proof, let's shout
521
00:39:27,994 --> 00:39:30,956
You're the one
522
00:39:31,164 --> 00:39:34,042
You're the one
523
00:39:34,251 --> 00:39:37,295
You're the one
524
00:39:37,504 --> 00:39:41,842
You're the one
525
00:40:11,663 --> 00:40:14,374
You're the one
526
00:40:14,583 --> 00:40:17,586
There's no doubt
527
00:40:17,794 --> 00:40:23,842
You're the one we cannot live without
528
00:40:24,718 --> 00:40:29,973
You're the living proof, let's shout
529
00:40:30,515 --> 00:40:33,185
You're the one
530
00:40:33,894 --> 00:40:37,105
You're the one
531
00:40:37,314 --> 00:40:41,026
You're the one
532
00:40:41,234 --> 00:40:44,863
You're the one
533
00:40:45,405 --> 00:40:48,533
Help me, please. Please.
534
00:41:32,577 --> 00:41:34,412
The story so far:
535
00:41:34,621 --> 00:41:38,500
Brian, a good Jewish boy,
if you'll pardon the expression...
536
00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:41,962
...has discovered that his father
was a Roman.
537
00:41:42,170 --> 00:41:45,298
Shocked and torn,
he has joined the Republicans...
538
00:41:45,507 --> 00:41:49,636
...a group of power-hungry,
desperate people with no future.
539
00:41:50,971 --> 00:41:56,184
Hiding from the Romans, he is
mistaken by the mob for the Messiah...
540
00:41:56,518 --> 00:41:58,937
...and flees back to his place
with Judith...
541
00:41:59,146 --> 00:42:02,441
...for a cup of tea and a good cry.
542
00:42:03,483 --> 00:42:07,779
ln his haste to escape the mob,
Brian, like Cinderella...
543
00:42:07,988 --> 00:42:10,115
...drops the shoe.
544
00:42:11,032 --> 00:42:14,244
Part Four: Baroque and Roll.
545
00:42:28,633 --> 00:42:32,220
The chosen one has disappeared
546
00:42:32,429 --> 00:42:35,891
He has been taken up
547
00:42:36,099 --> 00:42:40,604
See where he has dropped a shoe
548
00:42:40,812 --> 00:42:42,564
A shoe?
549
00:42:42,773 --> 00:42:46,151
That must be some kind of clue
550
00:42:46,693 --> 00:42:49,279
Behold his shoe
551
00:42:49,488 --> 00:42:52,324
-lt is a sign from God
-lt is a sign from God
552
00:42:52,532 --> 00:42:57,788
-Let us all now praise his shoe
-Let us all now praise his shoe
553
00:43:11,885 --> 00:43:15,013
-Hail to the shoe
-Hail to the shoe
554
00:43:15,555 --> 00:43:18,975
Let us all now praise his shoe
555
00:43:19,434 --> 00:43:21,436
Raise up the shoe
556
00:43:23,313 --> 00:43:26,024
This shoe will show us what to do
557
00:43:26,525 --> 00:43:28,568
l must take issue with this shoe
558
00:43:28,777 --> 00:43:30,570
A shoe can't tell us what to do
559
00:43:30,779 --> 00:43:36,201
But if you follow it, then you
Cannot be very far from him
560
00:43:36,410 --> 00:43:38,120
That's true
561
00:43:38,578 --> 00:43:40,288
We must take issue with this shoe
562
00:43:40,497 --> 00:43:42,165
A shoe can't tell us what to do
563
00:43:42,374 --> 00:43:48,130
But if you follow it, then you
Cannot be very far from him
564
00:43:48,422 --> 00:43:50,549
lt's true
565
00:43:51,091 --> 00:43:55,011
This is the shoe
lt's holy too
566
00:43:55,220 --> 00:43:58,765
See his little toes poke through
567
00:43:59,099 --> 00:44:02,310
Hail to the shoe
lt's holy too
568
00:44:02,853 --> 00:44:06,231
See, his sole is shining through
569
00:44:06,440 --> 00:44:10,152
When he is walking down the street
lf he's got one shoe on his feet
570
00:44:10,360 --> 00:44:12,279
Then we can very clearly spot
571
00:44:12,487 --> 00:44:15,699
Which one is him and which is not
572
00:44:16,241 --> 00:44:20,037
Yes, when he's walking down the street
lf he's got one shoe on his feet
573
00:44:20,245 --> 00:44:21,997
Then we can very clearly spot
574
00:44:22,205 --> 00:44:28,211
Which one is him and which is not
575
00:44:29,921 --> 00:44:34,217
l don't believe in that shoe
576
00:44:34,968 --> 00:44:39,639
l think it's stupid, don't you?
577
00:44:42,642 --> 00:44:44,186
We think it's true
578
00:44:44,394 --> 00:44:46,229
Believe in the shoe
579
00:44:46,438 --> 00:44:50,150
Or else it will be death to you
580
00:44:50,734 --> 00:44:52,110
Kill him today
581
00:44:52,319 --> 00:44:54,237
Might as well anyway
582
00:44:54,821 --> 00:44:57,616
Unbelievers all must pay
583
00:44:58,241 --> 00:45:00,118
-For he must die
-Yes, he must die
584
00:45:00,327 --> 00:45:02,412
-Or we shall know
-The reason why
585
00:45:02,621 --> 00:45:04,456
-And he must pay
-Yes, he must pay
586
00:45:04,665 --> 00:45:10,253
With his life for his heresy today
587
00:45:10,504 --> 00:45:12,464
-For he must die
-Yes, he must die
588
00:45:12,673 --> 00:45:14,383
-Or we shall know
-The reason why
589
00:45:14,591 --> 00:45:16,301
-And he must pay
-Yes, he must pay
590
00:45:16,718 --> 00:45:22,849
With his life for his heresy today
591
00:45:23,517 --> 00:45:25,560
Hail to the shoe
592
00:45:25,769 --> 00:45:27,479
Death to those who
593
00:45:27,688 --> 00:45:29,314
Have different views
594
00:45:29,523 --> 00:45:31,692
Concerning his shoes
595
00:45:31,900 --> 00:45:33,860
-Hail to the shoe
-Hail to the shoe
596
00:45:34,069 --> 00:45:35,988
-Death to those who
-Death to those who
597
00:45:36,196 --> 00:45:38,115
-Have different views
-Have different views
598
00:45:38,323 --> 00:45:39,741
Concerning his shoes
599
00:45:40,200 --> 00:45:41,827
And while we kill him
600
00:45:42,160 --> 00:45:47,207
Let us all pray
601
00:45:47,416 --> 00:45:55,507
Hail to the shoe
602
00:46:02,639 --> 00:46:06,518
And lo, Brian did go home with Judith...
603
00:46:06,727 --> 00:46:10,188
...and they did lie down together
upon a mattress.
604
00:47:16,380 --> 00:47:18,423
That was wonderful.
605
00:47:18,632 --> 00:47:21,760
But enough opera.
Let's have some sex!
606
00:47:24,888 --> 00:47:26,640
Brian Cohen
607
00:47:28,475 --> 00:47:30,185
What the hell is going on?
608
00:47:31,061 --> 00:47:32,813
Oh, horror
609
00:47:33,230 --> 00:47:36,692
lt's my mother
610
00:47:37,484 --> 00:47:41,113
Who the heck is this?
611
00:47:42,990 --> 00:47:46,285
Mumsy, this is Judith
612
00:47:47,244 --> 00:47:52,124
What the hell's she doing here?
613
00:47:53,166 --> 00:47:56,795
Discussing revolution
614
00:47:58,505 --> 00:48:02,593
ln the dark?
615
00:48:03,844 --> 00:48:08,765
Open the window right now
616
00:48:08,974 --> 00:48:11,310
All right, Mummy
617
00:48:21,445 --> 00:48:22,613
Morning, saviour.
618
00:48:23,572 --> 00:48:27,242
Hooray, the chosen one has woken
619
00:48:28,368 --> 00:48:30,245
Good morning, saviour
620
00:48:30,704 --> 00:48:32,080
Hail Messiah
621
00:48:32,998 --> 00:48:36,960
Brian, what the hell is going on?
622
00:48:37,711 --> 00:48:41,465
Let me explain, Mrs. Cohen
623
00:48:42,049 --> 00:48:43,926
Put some clothes on first
624
00:48:45,260 --> 00:48:48,680
Who are all these people?
625
00:48:48,889 --> 00:48:51,350
They have just popped by
626
00:48:52,434 --> 00:48:56,104
Popped by?
More like swarmed by
627
00:48:56,313 --> 00:48:58,440
There's a multitude
628
00:48:59,691 --> 00:49:04,029
They think that l am the Messiah
629
00:49:04,613 --> 00:49:06,865
Hail Messiah
630
00:49:07,074 --> 00:49:08,700
Show us the Messiah
631
00:49:08,909 --> 00:49:11,411
He's not the Messiah
632
00:49:11,620 --> 00:49:15,207
He's a very naughty boy
633
00:49:15,415 --> 00:49:16,708
Who are you?
634
00:49:16,917 --> 00:49:20,379
l am his mother
635
00:49:20,796 --> 00:49:24,216
Hail to the mother of Brian
636
00:49:24,424 --> 00:49:28,846
Hail to Mandy, mother of Brian
637
00:49:29,304 --> 00:49:33,308
Are you a virgin?
638
00:49:34,601 --> 00:49:38,063
How dare you?
639
00:49:39,439 --> 00:49:47,114
She must be
640
00:49:54,371 --> 00:49:57,207
lt's so hard being a mother.
641
00:49:57,416 --> 00:50:00,252
He was such a lovely little boy.
642
00:50:01,753 --> 00:50:03,422
When did he grow up?
643
00:50:03,839 --> 00:50:05,883
Where did the time go?
644
00:50:06,091 --> 00:50:09,428
One day he's playing around
with his little dreidels...
645
00:50:09,636 --> 00:50:14,391
...and the next you find him in bed
with a naked tart.
646
00:50:14,600 --> 00:50:17,769
Oh, Brian.
Brian, what's to become of me?
647
00:50:17,978 --> 00:50:19,271
Don't worry, Mum.
648
00:50:19,563 --> 00:50:21,440
We'll come and visit.
649
00:50:21,690 --> 00:50:26,111
We will, Mrs. Cohen. Honest.
650
00:50:26,570 --> 00:50:30,282
lt's all so sad
651
00:50:30,866 --> 00:50:35,871
When they grow up
652
00:50:38,081 --> 00:50:41,710
When he was young
653
00:50:41,919 --> 00:50:44,254
Sweet as can be
654
00:50:44,671 --> 00:50:46,715
My little boy
655
00:50:46,924 --> 00:50:49,426
He said to me:
656
00:50:49,635 --> 00:50:52,304
''When l grow up
657
00:50:52,513 --> 00:50:54,598
l'll set you free
658
00:50:54,807 --> 00:51:00,187
And we will live so happily''
659
00:51:00,395 --> 00:51:02,689
l was just 1 0
660
00:51:02,898 --> 00:51:07,319
How could l know what l'd do then?
661
00:51:07,528 --> 00:51:09,488
How things would go?
662
00:51:10,155 --> 00:51:12,491
Finding some girl
663
00:51:12,699 --> 00:51:15,828
And then leaving me
664
00:51:16,036 --> 00:51:20,082
O misery
665
00:51:20,290 --> 00:51:24,169
When they grow up
666
00:51:24,378 --> 00:51:26,421
And as for me
667
00:51:26,630 --> 00:51:28,799
Now l have grown
668
00:51:29,007 --> 00:51:30,592
l have found out
669
00:51:30,801 --> 00:51:33,345
What l should have known
670
00:51:33,554 --> 00:51:37,599
Everyone reaps what they have sown
671
00:51:38,183 --> 00:51:40,352
l too have found
672
00:51:40,561 --> 00:51:44,231
Someone of my own
673
00:51:44,440 --> 00:51:48,193
When we grow up
674
00:51:48,402 --> 00:51:50,362
As we must do
675
00:51:50,863 --> 00:51:55,534
And find that certain somebody who
676
00:51:56,076 --> 00:51:58,787
Makes us feel young
677
00:51:59,121 --> 00:52:02,040
Makes us feel free
678
00:52:02,249 --> 00:52:05,878
Then we grow up
679
00:52:06,086 --> 00:52:11,049
And live happily
680
00:52:11,258 --> 00:52:13,385
And as for me
681
00:52:13,594 --> 00:52:15,721
Now l have grown
682
00:52:15,929 --> 00:52:17,681
And l have found
683
00:52:17,890 --> 00:52:20,309
What l should have known
684
00:52:20,726 --> 00:52:25,230
Everyone reaps
The seeds they have sown
685
00:52:25,439 --> 00:52:27,733
l too have found
686
00:52:27,941 --> 00:52:31,945
Someone of my own
687
00:52:32,279 --> 00:52:35,741
When we grow up
688
00:52:35,949 --> 00:52:38,118
As we must do
689
00:52:38,327 --> 00:52:43,040
And find that certain somebody who
690
00:52:43,457 --> 00:52:46,001
Makes me feel young
691
00:52:46,210 --> 00:52:50,047
Listens to me
692
00:52:50,297 --> 00:52:54,510
l've grown up, Mum
693
00:52:55,761 --> 00:53:02,267
Please set me free
694
00:53:12,027 --> 00:53:18,117
She makes me feel free
695
00:53:19,243 --> 00:53:28,877
Finally
696
00:53:59,700 --> 00:54:01,452
Who are you lot anyway?
697
00:54:01,660 --> 00:54:05,664
Let me tell you precisely who we are.
698
00:54:14,381 --> 00:54:16,550
Oh, we come from
The mountains and valleys
699
00:54:19,595 --> 00:54:23,807
We come from the armpits of Rome
700
00:54:24,350 --> 00:54:28,395
From the holes
Where the coals all lie buried
701
00:54:28,604 --> 00:54:32,941
To the mountain's shining dome
702
00:54:33,567 --> 00:54:37,946
We are poor working men
Who all need a
703
00:54:38,364 --> 00:54:42,451
New light in the darkness and gloam
704
00:54:42,993 --> 00:54:47,081
And we seek the promised leader
705
00:54:47,289 --> 00:54:52,211
Who will take us home
706
00:54:53,295 --> 00:54:57,049
Take us home
707
00:54:58,175 --> 00:55:02,346
Take us home
708
00:55:02,971 --> 00:55:06,684
And we seek the promised leader
709
00:55:07,267 --> 00:55:12,564
Who will take us home
710
00:55:12,856 --> 00:55:17,403
From the Red Sea to the Dead Sea
711
00:55:17,611 --> 00:55:22,157
To the golden streets of Rome
712
00:55:22,616 --> 00:55:27,246
From the deep dark holes
Where they dig out the coals
713
00:55:27,454 --> 00:55:31,709
To the builders up on the dome
714
00:55:32,293 --> 00:55:36,588
From the working man in his hovel
715
00:55:36,964 --> 00:55:41,260
To the fisherman lost on the foam
716
00:55:41,885 --> 00:55:45,889
We all seek the promised leader
717
00:55:46,098 --> 00:55:51,478
Who will take us home
718
00:55:52,479 --> 00:55:56,650
Take us home
719
00:55:57,568 --> 00:56:01,363
Take us home
720
00:56:01,697 --> 00:56:05,951
Oh, we seek the promised leader
721
00:56:06,160 --> 00:56:11,915
Who will take us home
722
00:56:13,042 --> 00:56:17,171
Take us home
723
00:56:18,339 --> 00:56:22,676
Take us home
724
00:56:22,885 --> 00:56:27,264
Oh, we seek the promised leader
725
00:56:27,723 --> 00:56:33,646
Who will take us home
726
00:56:34,688 --> 00:56:39,735
Take us home
727
00:56:40,361 --> 00:56:44,031
Take us home
728
00:56:44,531 --> 00:56:49,411
Oh, we seek the promised leader
729
00:56:49,703 --> 00:56:59,838
Who will take us home
730
00:57:22,861 --> 00:57:25,864
All right, Brian, you can talk to them.
731
00:57:26,073 --> 00:57:27,700
But just for a minute.
732
00:57:30,411 --> 00:57:33,706
Now, listen, you have made a mistake
733
00:57:35,416 --> 00:57:39,086
l am not the Messiah
734
00:57:39,837 --> 00:57:41,589
But you look like one
735
00:57:42,965 --> 00:57:46,552
l am not the chosen one
736
00:57:46,760 --> 00:57:48,721
But we have chosen you
737
00:57:50,014 --> 00:57:56,562
Tell your people what we should do
738
00:57:57,187 --> 00:58:00,357
You should all piss off
739
00:58:02,109 --> 00:58:05,195
How shall we piss off, Lord?
740
00:58:06,780 --> 00:58:13,412
Don't follow people
You are all individuals
741
00:58:13,954 --> 00:58:18,083
That's right, we're all individuals
742
00:58:57,623 --> 00:58:59,375
l'm not.
743
00:59:21,730 --> 00:59:25,985
That's right, we're all individuals
744
00:59:26,485 --> 00:59:30,990
You must make up your own minds
For yourselves
745
00:59:31,198 --> 00:59:35,786
That's right, we must make up
Our own minds for ourselves
746
00:59:36,453 --> 00:59:42,001
Don't let anyone tell you what to do
747
00:59:42,209 --> 00:59:44,295
That's right, tell us more
748
00:59:44,503 --> 00:59:51,010
No, don't you see?
You've got to think for yourselves
749
00:59:51,302 --> 00:59:55,848
Yes, we have to think for ourselves
750
00:59:56,223 --> 01:00:02,855
Tell us what we have to
Think for ourselves
751
01:00:03,063 --> 01:00:10,237
No, nobody can tell you what to do
752
01:00:10,696 --> 01:00:15,284
Except you
753
01:00:15,493 --> 01:00:23,083
No, not even me
754
01:00:33,761 --> 01:00:37,389
Here, Brian, let me help
you out with this.
755
01:00:37,598 --> 01:00:40,392
They're just not getting this, okay?
756
01:00:41,268 --> 01:00:42,394
Better.
757
01:00:53,197 --> 01:00:56,117
Hey, listen, people, listen to me
758
01:00:56,575 --> 01:00:59,078
This is what he's trying to say
759
01:01:00,329 --> 01:01:03,749
Each of you must
Make up your own minds
760
01:01:03,958 --> 01:01:06,627
Have your different point of view
761
01:01:07,461 --> 01:01:10,923
Some people have
And some will have
762
01:01:11,340 --> 01:01:13,759
But time has got you by the balls
763
01:01:14,385 --> 01:01:17,888
But you must to your own selves
Be true
764
01:01:18,097 --> 01:01:21,350
For you're all individuals
765
01:01:36,490 --> 01:01:40,578
You don't know how bad
Your fate can get
766
01:01:42,413 --> 01:01:47,293
Then one day you find
You're played by Cate Blanchett
767
01:01:49,003 --> 01:01:52,798
So l'll take your hand
Make up your mind
768
01:01:53,132 --> 01:01:55,801
Choose a healthy point of view
769
01:01:56,135 --> 01:01:59,555
Don't follow leaders
Or parking meters
770
01:01:59,764 --> 01:02:02,683
They tell you all what you must do
771
01:02:02,975 --> 01:02:06,687
Well, some people preach you
Others will teach you
772
01:02:06,896 --> 01:02:09,356
They don't know what l can do
773
01:02:09,899 --> 01:02:13,486
You must to your own selves
Be true
774
01:02:13,819 --> 01:02:16,989
'Cause you're all individuals
775
01:02:37,218 --> 01:02:40,805
Yes, we'll do whatever you say
776
01:02:41,013 --> 01:02:43,974
Because we're....
777
01:03:14,588 --> 01:03:16,173
Brian!
778
01:03:16,757 --> 01:03:19,760
Judith. Oh, thank heaven, it's you!
779
01:03:19,969 --> 01:03:21,512
Yes, Brian, it is.
780
01:03:22,346 --> 01:03:24,390
So it was all a dream.
781
01:03:24,598 --> 01:03:28,436
No, Brian, this is the dream.
You're still asleep.
782
01:03:28,644 --> 01:03:32,732
Oh, no.
So, what's going to happen to me?
783
01:03:32,940 --> 01:03:36,360
Well, all you're doing
is advocating peace, right?
784
01:03:36,569 --> 01:03:39,113
-Right.
-Well, then they'll probably just kill you.
785
01:03:39,321 --> 01:03:42,867
-What?
-But your ideas will live on.
786
01:03:43,075 --> 01:03:44,660
Oh, great.
787
01:03:45,119 --> 01:03:47,329
Well, l must go now.
788
01:03:48,289 --> 01:03:49,290
Why?
789
01:03:49,498 --> 01:03:52,877
Because you're still asleep,
and you're getting one of those--
790
01:03:53,085 --> 01:03:54,086
Sorry.
791
01:03:54,962 --> 01:03:56,714
When l was young
792
01:03:58,132 --> 01:04:01,969
l dreamed that life was always
Here to stay
793
01:04:03,137 --> 01:04:05,598
When l was young
794
01:04:06,307 --> 01:04:10,436
Tomorrow seemed so very far away
795
01:04:11,729 --> 01:04:14,023
Now l've grown
796
01:04:14,482 --> 01:04:17,943
l've found that all my time has flown
797
01:04:18,486 --> 01:04:22,156
And one thing that l should have known
798
01:04:22,823 --> 01:04:24,867
Life is very short
799
01:04:27,578 --> 01:04:34,585
But there are always friends
800
01:04:35,753 --> 01:04:42,301
And there is always love to share
801
01:04:43,344 --> 01:04:46,806
So before
802
01:04:47,056 --> 01:04:51,143
Your journey ends
803
01:04:51,894 --> 01:04:58,567
Don't give in to despair
804
01:05:00,820 --> 01:05:02,989
Find your dream
805
01:05:03,614 --> 01:05:06,993
Before your dream can slip away
806
01:05:09,036 --> 01:05:11,163
Find your dream
807
01:05:11,664 --> 01:05:15,209
Tomorrow is another day
808
01:05:16,377 --> 01:05:22,174
You may not get a second chance
809
01:05:22,383 --> 01:05:24,510
For romance
810
01:05:24,719 --> 01:05:26,721
So before it's too late
811
01:05:27,221 --> 01:05:31,267
Don't hesitate
Find your dream
812
01:05:33,436 --> 01:05:36,188
-Find your dream
-Find your dream
813
01:05:36,397 --> 01:05:38,524
Life doesn't always
Turn out right for you
814
01:05:38,733 --> 01:05:41,152
Life can be so hard
815
01:05:41,652 --> 01:05:44,196
-Find your dream
-Find your dream
816
01:05:44,405 --> 01:05:47,950
-ln every single thing you try to do
-No guarantee
817
01:05:48,159 --> 01:05:50,536
You'll find your reward
818
01:05:50,745 --> 01:05:56,876
You can be blind
To what is really on your mind
819
01:05:57,543 --> 01:05:59,837
So before it's too late
820
01:06:00,046 --> 01:06:02,840
Don't hesitate
Find your dream
821
01:06:03,049 --> 01:06:05,051
Find your dream
822
01:07:10,908 --> 01:07:13,286
-Find your dream
-Find your dream
823
01:07:13,494 --> 01:07:18,499
-Before your dream can slip away
-Slip away
824
01:07:19,000 --> 01:07:21,752
-Find your dream
-Find your dream
825
01:07:21,961 --> 01:07:26,424
-Tomorrow is another day
-Another day
826
01:07:26,632 --> 01:07:32,346
You may not get a second chance
827
01:07:32,555 --> 01:07:34,307
For romance
828
01:07:34,807 --> 01:07:37,310
So before it's too late
829
01:07:37,518 --> 01:07:42,189
Don't hesitate
Find your dream
830
01:07:42,899 --> 01:07:45,151
So before it's too late
831
01:07:45,568 --> 01:07:48,905
Don't hesitate
Find your dream
832
01:07:49,113 --> 01:07:56,078
Find your dream
833
01:08:04,754 --> 01:08:07,423
Brian Cohen
834
01:08:07,798 --> 01:08:10,259
Brian Cohen
835
01:08:10,885 --> 01:08:16,557
l have come to take you away
836
01:08:17,558 --> 01:08:19,644
Who are you?
837
01:08:19,852 --> 01:08:23,022
Are you Death?
838
01:08:24,315 --> 01:08:29,737
No, l'm Biggus Dickus
839
01:08:30,488 --> 01:08:33,699
Hail Caesar
840
01:08:33,908 --> 01:08:36,494
Hail Caesar
841
01:08:53,511 --> 01:08:55,721
That's wight, Bwian.
842
01:08:57,431 --> 01:08:59,475
Bigguth Dickuth...
843
01:09:00,226 --> 01:09:01,602
...is my best fwend fwom Wome.
844
01:09:06,899 --> 01:09:09,735
Dethist, you wowdy wadicals.
845
01:09:10,027 --> 01:09:12,905
You are a webel, Bwian,
and a wapscallion and a Wepublican.
846
01:09:18,661 --> 01:09:19,704
Centurion...
847
01:09:22,373 --> 01:09:25,459
...why do they titter so?
848
01:09:27,086 --> 01:09:30,631
Just some Jewish joke, sir.
849
01:09:30,965 --> 01:09:33,217
Theath thith wibaldwy at onth.
850
01:09:33,426 --> 01:09:36,095
l won't be wattled
by a wabble of wowdy webels.
851
01:09:36,304 --> 01:09:39,432
Thith man wanks higher
than any in Wome.
852
01:09:42,643 --> 01:09:47,398
Awest this man
and thwow him woughly into a thell.
853
01:09:48,191 --> 01:09:50,443
Brian Cohen
854
01:09:50,860 --> 01:09:53,279
Brian Cohen
855
01:09:54,113 --> 01:09:59,243
You are under arrest
856
01:10:00,995 --> 01:10:03,122
Arrested and restrained
857
01:10:03,664 --> 01:10:06,501
Brian was captured and jailed
858
01:10:07,126 --> 01:10:11,172
lt seems his plans had all now failed
859
01:10:11,923 --> 01:10:14,634
Detained and chained and then
860
01:10:15,468 --> 01:10:18,221
He was throwned into a pen
861
01:10:19,180 --> 01:10:23,226
With a very silly man
Who was named Ben
862
01:10:23,893 --> 01:10:27,980
You lucky, lucky bastard.
863
01:10:36,072 --> 01:10:38,074
What are they going to do to me?
864
01:10:39,158 --> 01:10:41,828
Oh, you'll probably get away
with just crucifixion.
865
01:10:45,248 --> 01:10:46,791
Crucifixion?
866
01:10:46,999 --> 01:10:48,668
Yeah, first offence.
867
01:10:48,876 --> 01:10:51,295
''Get away with crucifixion''?
868
01:10:51,712 --> 01:10:55,007
Well, at least it gets you out
lnto the open air
869
01:10:55,466 --> 01:10:58,594
Best thing the Romans ever did for us
870
01:10:58,803 --> 01:11:01,639
lf we didn't have crucifixion
871
01:11:01,848 --> 01:11:05,852
This country would be
ln a right bloody mess
872
01:11:06,727 --> 01:11:07,728
What?
873
01:11:08,479 --> 01:11:11,065
Nail 'em up, l say
Nail 'em up, l say
874
01:11:11,524 --> 01:11:14,026
Nail some sense into 'em
875
01:11:14,235 --> 01:11:16,487
Now, take my case
They hung me up
876
01:11:18,114 --> 01:11:20,032
For five long years of pain
877
01:11:20,241 --> 01:11:23,286
And every night, they take me down
878
01:11:23,494 --> 01:11:26,080
Then they hang me up again
879
01:11:26,539 --> 01:11:29,375
Which l regard as very, very fair
880
01:11:29,751 --> 01:11:32,462
ln view of what l done
881
01:11:32,670 --> 01:11:38,384
lf nothing else, it's taught me to
Respect the Romans, son
882
01:11:38,760 --> 01:11:41,679
lt's taught me that in this old life
883
01:11:41,888 --> 01:11:44,432
There's only one right way
884
01:11:45,016 --> 01:11:50,730
You must do a fair day's work
For a fair day's pay
885
01:11:50,938 --> 01:11:54,066
A fair day's work for a fair day's pay
886
01:11:54,484 --> 01:11:56,736
That is what
The lower middle classes say
887
01:11:56,944 --> 01:12:00,114
So do your duty every day
888
01:12:00,448 --> 01:12:02,909
A fair day's work for a fair day's pay
889
01:12:03,242 --> 01:12:06,370
Once l was a lad in the Hudson Bay
890
01:12:06,579 --> 01:12:09,540
l'd cut down trees every single day
891
01:12:09,791 --> 01:12:12,585
l'd sleep all night and work all day
892
01:12:13,044 --> 01:12:15,880
And walk away contented
With a fair day's pay
893
01:12:16,089 --> 01:12:18,841
He'd sleep all night and work all day
894
01:12:19,050 --> 01:12:21,886
And walk away contented
With a fair day's pay
895
01:12:22,136 --> 01:12:24,931
A fair day's work for a fair day's pay
896
01:12:25,390 --> 01:12:28,101
That is what
The lower middle classes say
897
01:12:28,309 --> 01:12:31,437
So do your duty every day
898
01:12:31,646 --> 01:12:34,440
A fair day's work for a fair day's pay
899
01:12:34,649 --> 01:12:37,860
Yes, l was a lumberjack, okay
900
01:12:38,111 --> 01:12:41,030
Going to the lavatory every day
901
01:12:41,322 --> 01:12:43,866
l'd work very hard
With me tiny little axe
902
01:12:44,075 --> 01:12:46,786
At night l'd visit naughty bars
To help relax
903
01:12:46,994 --> 01:12:49,956
He'd work very hard
With his tiny little axe
904
01:12:50,164 --> 01:12:52,917
And at night he'd visit naughty bars
To help relax
905
01:12:53,126 --> 01:12:56,170
l'd work away in a very butch way
906
01:12:56,546 --> 01:12:59,215
Chopping down tall trees every day
907
01:12:59,424 --> 01:13:02,218
l'd put on women's clothing
And go out at nights
908
01:13:02,427 --> 01:13:05,304
And go and seek the company
Of transvestites
909
01:13:05,513 --> 01:13:08,099
He'd put on women's clothing
And go out at nights
910
01:13:08,307 --> 01:13:11,894
And go and seek the company
Of transvestites?
911
01:13:13,563 --> 01:13:16,733
That's enough of that, okay
912
01:13:17,025 --> 01:13:21,654
We don't give a duck
lf you're completely gay
913
01:13:37,754 --> 01:13:39,922
-Brian.
-Mother.
914
01:13:40,214 --> 01:13:41,591
What are you doing here?
915
01:13:41,799 --> 01:13:43,676
What are you doing here?
916
01:13:44,719 --> 01:13:47,430
l'm going to be crucified.
917
01:13:49,223 --> 01:13:51,601
l've brought you
some clean underwear.
918
01:13:53,478 --> 01:13:56,522
-Judith!
-Hello, Brian. l've come to say goodbye.
919
01:13:56,814 --> 01:13:57,815
Goodbye?
920
01:13:58,066 --> 01:14:00,818
Well, yes, Brian,
you're going to be crucified.
921
01:14:01,027 --> 01:14:04,030
Oh, yes. Well, l suppose...
922
01:14:04,530 --> 01:14:06,240
...if this is goodbye...
923
01:14:06,449 --> 01:14:09,243
...then l must....
924
01:14:09,452 --> 01:14:11,037
What?
925
01:14:12,121 --> 01:14:13,706
l must...
926
01:14:14,832 --> 01:14:16,542
...sing.
927
01:14:17,752 --> 01:14:21,506
This is the final song
928
01:14:24,092 --> 01:14:28,388
l'll sing for you
929
01:14:28,888 --> 01:14:30,682
That's nice.
930
01:14:30,890 --> 01:14:36,312
There's nothing more
931
01:14:36,771 --> 01:14:42,110
That l can do
932
01:14:42,777 --> 01:14:47,949
One final song
933
01:14:48,908 --> 01:14:53,413
And then l'm gone
934
01:14:53,621 --> 01:15:00,420
So far away from you
935
01:15:01,796 --> 01:15:06,467
l will stay true
936
01:15:08,386 --> 01:15:12,765
Though we're apart
937
01:15:14,434 --> 01:15:18,813
But still my heart
938
01:15:19,105 --> 01:15:26,487
Will always be with you
939
01:15:27,488 --> 01:15:33,703
-Our final song
-Our final song
940
01:15:33,995 --> 01:15:39,959
-Will not take long
-Will not take long
941
01:15:40,501 --> 01:15:44,464
-And then we're gone
-And then we're gone
942
01:15:44,672 --> 01:15:53,473
-lt's farewell to you
-lt's farewell to you
943
01:15:55,016 --> 01:16:00,146
This is the final song
944
01:16:00,355 --> 01:16:06,819
l'll sing for you
945
01:16:08,780 --> 01:16:14,160
There's nothing more
946
01:16:15,203 --> 01:16:20,333
That l can do
947
01:16:21,876 --> 01:16:27,757
One final song
948
01:16:28,424 --> 01:16:33,012
And then we're done
949
01:16:33,554 --> 01:16:41,104
And l am leaving you
950
01:16:41,896 --> 01:16:45,650
This final day
951
01:16:45,858 --> 01:16:48,528
-This final day
-This final day
952
01:16:48,736 --> 01:16:51,823
When we can say
953
01:16:52,031 --> 01:16:54,993
-When we can say
-When we can say
954
01:16:55,243 --> 01:16:59,455
My life is done
955
01:16:59,664 --> 01:17:05,878
And we sing my song
956
01:17:06,462 --> 01:17:10,008
-lt's our song too
-lt's our song too
957
01:17:13,386 --> 01:17:16,139
Their final song
958
01:17:16,347 --> 01:17:22,729
-Their final song
-Their final song
959
01:17:22,937 --> 01:17:27,567
Let's hope it will
960
01:17:27,775 --> 01:17:35,199
Not take too long
961
01:17:36,284 --> 01:17:40,371
This is the final song
962
01:17:40,663 --> 01:17:47,545
l'll sing for you
963
01:17:47,754 --> 01:17:54,010
There's nothing more
964
01:17:54,219 --> 01:17:59,933
That l can do
965
01:18:00,141 --> 01:18:05,897
One final song
966
01:18:06,522 --> 01:18:10,944
And then we're done
967
01:18:11,152 --> 01:18:17,909
And l am leaving you
968
01:18:19,494 --> 01:18:23,498
When l'm away
969
01:18:23,706 --> 01:18:26,292
-When he's away
-When he's away
970
01:18:26,876 --> 01:18:29,963
l'll hope you'll play
971
01:18:30,421 --> 01:18:33,591
-We're sure to play
-We're sure to play
972
01:18:33,800 --> 01:18:38,721
-This final song
-This final song
973
01:18:39,222 --> 01:18:47,021
-lt's all l'll have of you
-lt's all l'll have of you
974
01:18:48,606 --> 01:18:54,946
This final day
975
01:18:55,530 --> 01:19:01,828
When l can say
976
01:19:02,203 --> 01:19:06,541
My life is done
977
01:19:06,749 --> 01:19:13,006
And we sing my song
978
01:19:13,381 --> 01:19:17,719
He sings so well
979
01:19:19,012 --> 01:19:21,681
Apart from this
980
01:19:22,098 --> 01:19:26,686
-Apart from this
-Apart from this
981
01:19:26,895 --> 01:19:38,615
There is no more
982
01:19:51,878 --> 01:19:54,214
-Crucifixion?
-Yes.
983
01:19:54,422 --> 01:19:57,926
Good. Out of the door.
Turn right. One cross each.
984
01:19:58,134 --> 01:19:59,344
Line on the left.
985
01:20:00,261 --> 01:20:01,888
Next.
986
01:20:02,138 --> 01:20:04,390
-Crucifixion?
-Yes.
987
01:20:05,600 --> 01:20:08,728
Out of the door. Turn right.
One cross each.
988
01:20:09,187 --> 01:20:11,147
Line on the left.
989
01:20:11,606 --> 01:20:13,399
Next.
990
01:20:13,942 --> 01:20:15,401
Crucifixion?
991
01:20:15,610 --> 01:20:17,779
No. Freedom for me.
992
01:20:24,577 --> 01:20:25,578
What?
993
01:20:25,787 --> 01:20:27,914
Freedom for me.
They said l hadn't done nothing...
994
01:20:28,123 --> 01:20:31,126
...so l could go free
and live on an island somewhere.
995
01:20:33,336 --> 01:20:35,630
Oh, well, that's jolly good.
996
01:20:35,839 --> 01:20:39,008
Well, off you go, then.
997
01:20:39,259 --> 01:20:40,677
Nah, l'm just pulling your leg.
998
01:20:42,470 --> 01:20:44,973
lt's crucifixion really.
999
01:20:47,475 --> 01:20:49,060
Yes. Yes, very good.
1000
01:20:49,269 --> 01:20:50,520
-Yeah.
-Very good. Very good.
1001
01:20:50,728 --> 01:20:52,147
You know the way, out the door.
1002
01:20:52,355 --> 01:20:54,607
-Out the door. Line on the left.
-One cross each.
1003
01:20:54,816 --> 01:20:57,360
-Yep. Yep.
-Yeah. Yeah. l've done it before.
1004
01:21:07,078 --> 01:21:08,121
Crucifixion?
1005
01:21:08,329 --> 01:21:11,416
Excuse me, but there's been
some sort of mistake.
1006
01:21:11,624 --> 01:21:13,293
Oh, well, we'll sort that out later.
1007
01:21:13,835 --> 01:21:15,295
Oh, that's a good one, eh?
1008
01:21:15,503 --> 01:21:18,757
''We'll sort it out later,
after you've been crucified.''
1009
01:21:19,299 --> 01:21:22,302
-Typical bloody Romans, eh?
-Now you can shut up.
1010
01:21:22,594 --> 01:21:27,140
Or what? l'll have to give up
being crucified in the afternoons?
1011
01:21:27,932 --> 01:21:30,310
But l don't want to be crucified.
1012
01:21:30,894 --> 01:21:33,813
Oh, cheer up, Brian.
You know what they say.
1013
01:21:40,862 --> 01:21:43,406
Some things in life are bad
1014
01:21:43,615 --> 01:21:45,658
They can really make you sad
1015
01:21:47,368 --> 01:21:49,746
Other things just make you
Swear and curse
1016
01:21:50,205 --> 01:21:52,499
When you're chewing on life's gristle
1017
01:21:52,707 --> 01:21:55,210
Don't grumble, give a whistle
1018
01:21:55,585 --> 01:22:00,006
And this'll help things
Turn out for the best
1019
01:22:00,465 --> 01:22:02,675
And
1020
01:22:02,884 --> 01:22:07,347
Always look on the bright side of life
1021
01:22:08,640 --> 01:22:09,974
See?
1022
01:22:10,225 --> 01:22:14,354
Always look on the light side of life
1023
01:22:17,524 --> 01:22:19,150
lf life seems jolly rotten
1024
01:22:19,359 --> 01:22:21,027
There's something you've forgotten
1025
01:22:21,236 --> 01:22:24,531
And that's to laugh and smile
And dance and sing
1026
01:22:24,739 --> 01:22:26,699
lf you're feeling in the dumps
1027
01:22:26,908 --> 01:22:28,368
Don't be silly, chumps
1028
01:22:28,576 --> 01:22:31,538
Just purse your lips and whistle
That's the thing
1029
01:22:31,746 --> 01:22:36,543
And always look on
The bright side of life
1030
01:22:36,751 --> 01:22:38,420
Very good.
1031
01:22:40,171 --> 01:22:44,217
Always look on the light side of life
1032
01:22:47,554 --> 01:22:49,097
For life is quite absurd
1033
01:22:49,305 --> 01:22:50,932
And death's the final word
1034
01:22:51,141 --> 01:22:54,602
You must always face the curtain
With a bow
1035
01:22:55,186 --> 01:22:56,438
Forget about your sin
1036
01:22:56,646 --> 01:22:58,648
Give the audience a grin
1037
01:22:58,857 --> 01:23:01,401
Enjoy it
lt's your last chance anyhow
1038
01:23:01,609 --> 01:23:06,740
So always look on
The bright side of death
1039
01:23:10,118 --> 01:23:14,456
Just before you draw
Your terminal breath
1040
01:23:17,751 --> 01:23:19,419
Life's a piece of shit
1041
01:23:19,627 --> 01:23:21,212
When you look at it
1042
01:23:21,421 --> 01:23:24,632
Life's a laugh and death's a joke
lt's true
1043
01:23:25,133 --> 01:23:26,593
You'll see it's all a show
1044
01:23:26,801 --> 01:23:28,428
Keep 'em laughing as you go
1045
01:23:28,636 --> 01:23:31,598
Just remember
The last laugh is on you
1046
01:23:31,806 --> 01:23:37,062
And always look on
The bright side of life
1047
01:23:40,315 --> 01:23:44,611
Always look on the bright side of life
1048
01:23:46,780 --> 01:23:47,781
Key change.
1049
01:23:47,989 --> 01:23:52,160
Always look on the bright side of life
1050
01:23:55,330 --> 01:23:59,959
Always look on the bright side of life
1051
01:24:03,171 --> 01:24:07,467
Always look on the bright side of life
1052
01:24:10,512 --> 01:24:14,307
Always look on the bright side of life
1053
01:24:18,019 --> 01:24:22,691
Always look on the bright side of life
1054
01:24:25,944 --> 01:24:30,323
Always look on the bright side of life
1055
01:24:32,826 --> 01:24:37,998
And always look on
The bright side
1056
01:24:38,206 --> 01:24:42,836
Of life
1057
01:25:00,186 --> 01:25:01,229
Thank you.
1058
01:25:10,822 --> 01:25:11,823
Thank you.
1059
01:25:27,255 --> 01:25:29,049
Oh, dear.
1060
01:25:31,092 --> 01:25:33,386
l never wanted to be a Roman...
1061
01:25:35,138 --> 01:25:38,975
...wepressing wadicals wigorously on
a wegular basis for the west of my life.
1062
01:25:40,435 --> 01:25:43,229
l didn't want to attend
a 40th-anniversary concert...
1063
01:25:43,438 --> 01:25:47,150
...at the Royal Albert Hall.
No, no, no. No.
1064
01:25:47,984 --> 01:25:49,402
l wanted to be...
1065
01:25:53,406 --> 01:25:54,908
...a lumberjack!
1066
01:26:03,750 --> 01:26:05,043
Leaping from tree to tree...
1067
01:26:05,251 --> 01:26:08,004
...as they float down
the mighty rivers of British Columbia.
1068
01:26:08,213 --> 01:26:09,297
The giant redwood.
1069
01:26:09,923 --> 01:26:11,675
The larch. The fir.
1070
01:26:11,883 --> 01:26:13,760
The mighty Scots pine.
1071
01:26:14,386 --> 01:26:16,346
The lofty flowering cherry.
1072
01:26:16,888 --> 01:26:18,932
The plucky little aspen.
1073
01:26:19,557 --> 01:26:22,269
The limping Nigerian rude tree.
1074
01:26:22,477 --> 01:26:24,896
The great wattle of Aldershot.
1075
01:26:25,939 --> 01:26:28,400
The Maidenhead weeping water plant.
1076
01:26:29,317 --> 01:26:32,195
The naughty flashing oak
of Leicestershire.
1077
01:26:32,737 --> 01:26:35,949
The flatulent elm of West Ruislip.
1078
01:26:36,283 --> 01:26:40,412
The Quercus Maximus
Bambergascoignus.
1079
01:26:40,870 --> 01:26:43,623
With my best girl by my side!
1080
01:26:49,588 --> 01:26:53,633
We'd sing! Sing! Sing!
1081
01:26:53,967 --> 01:26:57,137
Oh, l'm a lumberjack, and l'm okay
1082
01:26:57,387 --> 01:26:59,764
l sleep all night and l work all day
1083
01:27:00,181 --> 01:27:02,475
He's a lumberjack, and he's okay
1084
01:27:02,684 --> 01:27:05,061
He sleeps all night
And he works all day
1085
01:27:05,270 --> 01:27:07,439
l cut down trees
l eat my lunch
1086
01:27:07,647 --> 01:27:09,774
l go to the lavatory
1087
01:27:10,066 --> 01:27:12,277
On Wednesdays l go shoppin'
1088
01:27:12,485 --> 01:27:14,988
And have buttered scones for tea
1089
01:27:15,864 --> 01:27:17,991
He cuts down trees
He eats his lunch
1090
01:27:18,199 --> 01:27:20,619
He goes to the lavatory
1091
01:27:20,827 --> 01:27:22,996
On Wednesdays he goes shoppin'
1092
01:27:23,204 --> 01:27:26,333
And has buttered scones for tea
1093
01:27:26,541 --> 01:27:28,752
He's a lumberjack, and he's okay
1094
01:27:28,960 --> 01:27:31,421
He sleeps all night
And he works all day
1095
01:27:31,630 --> 01:27:34,049
l cut down trees
l skip and jump
1096
01:27:34,257 --> 01:27:36,509
l like to press wildflowers
1097
01:27:36,760 --> 01:27:39,262
l put on women's clothing
1098
01:27:39,471 --> 01:27:42,182
And hang around in bars
1099
01:27:42,724 --> 01:27:45,143
He cuts down trees
He skips and jumps
1100
01:27:45,352 --> 01:27:47,395
He likes to press wildflowers
1101
01:27:47,604 --> 01:27:50,190
He puts on women's clothing
1102
01:27:50,398 --> 01:27:53,485
And hangs around in bars?
1103
01:27:54,110 --> 01:27:56,530
-He's a lumberjack, and he's okay
-And l'm okay
1104
01:27:56,738 --> 01:27:59,199
-He sleeps all night and he works all day
-l sleep all night and l work all day
1105
01:27:59,407 --> 01:28:00,534
l cut down trees
1106
01:28:00,742 --> 01:28:04,621
l wear high heels
Suspendies and a bra
1107
01:28:04,829 --> 01:28:06,998
l wish l'd been a girlie
1108
01:28:07,207 --> 01:28:10,043
Just like my dear papa
1109
01:28:10,252 --> 01:28:11,294
-Hey!
-He cuts down trees
1110
01:28:11,503 --> 01:28:15,715
He wears high heels
Suspenders and a bra?!
1111
01:28:22,264 --> 01:28:24,724
-He's a lumberjack, and he's okay
-l'm a lumberjack, and l'm okay
1112
01:28:24,933 --> 01:28:27,727
-He sleeps all night and he works all day
-l sleep all night and l work all day
1113
01:28:27,936 --> 01:28:34,985
He's a lumberjack and he's okay
1114
01:28:35,193 --> 01:28:40,073
Oh, Bevis,
l thought you were so rugged!
1115
01:28:41,032 --> 01:28:43,076
He sleeps all night
And he works all day
76943
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