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1
00:00:07,675 --> 00:00:10,511
- Maybe we shouldn't be thinking so small.
- What do you mean?
2
00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:12,221
Those politicians you mentioned
3
00:00:12,221 --> 00:00:14,807
who were dumping stocks
while lying about the virus--
4
00:00:14,807 --> 00:00:16,934
turns out one of them
is from around here.
5
00:00:16,934 --> 00:00:18,602
Congresswoman Paula Tackleberry.
6
00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:20,229
And she is loaded.
7
00:00:20,229 --> 00:00:22,982
I'm not robbing any congresswoman.
It's not who I am.
8
00:00:22,982 --> 00:00:23,941
I'm not a criminal.
9
00:00:23,941 --> 00:00:25,735
What if you could be a teacher
after we're done?
10
00:00:25,735 --> 00:00:27,486
I told you.
They won't let me be a teacher.
11
00:00:27,486 --> 00:00:30,448
So, stop being you.
I can get you a brand new identity.
12
00:00:30,448 --> 00:00:33,367
You could start fresh.
I just need you for a few weeks first.
13
00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:35,786
If they stop,
do you think you can get out?
14
00:00:35,786 --> 00:00:37,204
I already tried.
15
00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:38,789
Once the door latches,
it locks from the outside.
16
00:00:38,789 --> 00:00:40,291
- But if you guys are following me...
- [phone beeps]
17
00:00:40,958 --> 00:00:42,752
- What happened?
- We lost service. Ugh!
18
00:00:42,752 --> 00:00:43,878
We must be in a dead zone.
19
00:00:43,878 --> 00:00:45,921
[Paula] Right after we approve
the vaccine,
20
00:00:45,921 --> 00:00:49,800
I'll know exactly which drug companies
to invest in before anyone else.
21
00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:51,844
- Forget the blackmail.
- What are you talking about?
22
00:00:51,844 --> 00:00:53,804
She's liquidating all their art,
23
00:00:53,804 --> 00:00:56,891
lying to her housekeeper
about some bogus college fund
24
00:00:56,891 --> 00:00:59,143
and using inside information to get rich
25
00:00:59,143 --> 00:01:01,103
while the people who voted for her die.
26
00:01:01,103 --> 00:01:02,396
We're not gonna blackmail her.
27
00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:04,148
We're gonna make sure
she doesn't get away with it
28
00:01:04,148 --> 00:01:06,484
and steal every dime she has
while we're at it.
29
00:01:06,484 --> 00:01:08,360
This just turned into a bank robbery.
30
00:01:08,652 --> 00:01:10,154
Hey, what happened with that auction?
31
00:01:10,154 --> 00:01:11,989
How much is in that bank account
we're gonna get our hands on?
32
00:01:12,615 --> 00:01:15,618
Oh, shit. With all the kidnapping
and torture,
33
00:01:15,618 --> 00:01:17,828
I forgot to tell you.
34
00:01:20,039 --> 00:01:21,916
- Does that say...?
- 2.5 million, yeah.
35
00:01:21,916 --> 00:01:24,960
[both laughing]
36
00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:26,754
[shouting] Aaah!
37
00:01:28,172 --> 00:01:30,674
[♪ "Talk About the Good Times"
by Jerry Reed plays]
38
00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:18,681
Shh.
39
00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:26,230
Congratulations on your decision to
better yourself while serving time.
40
00:02:26,230 --> 00:02:29,733
I'd like to start by going
around the room and learning
41
00:02:29,733 --> 00:02:31,694
why you've chosen English Composition.
42
00:02:34,238 --> 00:02:36,490
I joined because I want to, like,
43
00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:39,410
learn some bigger words
44
00:02:39,410 --> 00:02:42,538
because last time I wrote
a letter to the parole...
45
00:02:42,538 --> 00:02:46,959
um, you know, the-- the people
that run the parole stuff. Um...
46
00:02:46,959 --> 00:02:48,377
What do you call 'em?
47
00:02:49,003 --> 00:02:51,547
- Board.
- Bored?
48
00:02:52,548 --> 00:02:54,842
Won't be so bored if I bit off
the front of your face
49
00:02:54,842 --> 00:02:56,468
and spit it down your throat,
now, would it?
50
00:02:59,638 --> 00:03:02,266
Anyway, I-- I wanna learn
some bigger words
51
00:03:02,266 --> 00:03:06,270
so I can show my parole people that
I can safely join the community.
52
00:03:06,270 --> 00:03:07,730
We'll work on that.
53
00:03:09,231 --> 00:03:11,901
Oh, I believe I see
a finger up in the back.
54
00:03:12,318 --> 00:03:14,612
I was hoping to learn
how to write a better manifesto.
55
00:03:14,612 --> 00:03:18,574
The local paper said mine
lacked clarity and structure.
56
00:03:19,491 --> 00:03:22,202
The also didn't appreciate
I dotted all my I's with boogers.
57
00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:24,330
Okie-doke.
58
00:03:25,456 --> 00:03:26,332
Yes.
59
00:03:26,332 --> 00:03:29,376
I love to read, so writing interests me.
60
00:03:29,376 --> 00:03:32,004
I've always wanted to know
more about the semicolon.
61
00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:34,882
Plus, this class is a prerequisite
62
00:03:34,882 --> 00:03:37,468
that I have to take
if I wanna get my online degree.
63
00:03:38,427 --> 00:03:39,553
Prerequisite?
64
00:03:40,679 --> 00:03:41,847
That's a big word.
65
00:03:42,306 --> 00:03:44,141
Sounds like it has a number in it, right?
66
00:03:44,141 --> 00:03:45,434
It has a number in it?
67
00:03:45,434 --> 00:03:46,560
Yeah, yeah.
68
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:49,271
I think there's an eight in there
towards the tail end.
69
00:03:52,149 --> 00:03:53,442
I still can't believe it.
70
00:03:53,442 --> 00:03:55,361
It took forever to get, but I did it.
71
00:03:55,361 --> 00:03:57,196
It's on fancy paper and everything.
72
00:03:57,821 --> 00:04:00,574
It couldn't have taken that long.
You're not even 30 yet.
73
00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:03,327
"Not even 30."
Maybe in dog years.
74
00:04:03,327 --> 00:04:04,411
Shh!
75
00:04:04,870 --> 00:04:06,455
[Gloria] I am so proud of you.
76
00:04:06,455 --> 00:04:08,624
When we get out of here,
we are gonna celebrate.
77
00:04:09,208 --> 00:04:11,418
You know, I've never had sex
with a teacher before.
78
00:04:11,794 --> 00:04:13,545
I mean, a few have tried, but...
79
00:04:13,545 --> 00:04:16,131
Well, I've never had sex
with an older woman before,
80
00:04:16,131 --> 00:04:18,509
so you might end up being the teacher.
81
00:04:18,509 --> 00:04:20,344
Are you hearing this bullshit?
82
00:04:20,344 --> 00:04:22,596
Stop talking to that bug about me!
83
00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:25,015
[buzzer sounding]
84
00:04:25,015 --> 00:04:27,476
They're gonna be coming around.
I'd better go.
85
00:04:28,018 --> 00:04:29,478
Sweet dreams, papi.
86
00:04:29,853 --> 00:04:32,940
[toilets flushing]
87
00:04:33,315 --> 00:04:36,527
Hey, why do you wanna be a teacher?
They don't make dick.
88
00:04:36,527 --> 00:04:37,987
Ain't always about the money.
89
00:04:37,987 --> 00:04:42,282
Education is the most powerful weapon
that you can use to change the world.
90
00:04:42,992 --> 00:04:45,119
Nelson Mandela said that.
91
00:04:45,119 --> 00:04:48,163
That has a nice ring to it.
"Nelson."
92
00:04:48,163 --> 00:04:50,541
Hey, I think I'm gonna call you Nelson.
93
00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:54,253
Bro, you should see Nelson with this Oreo.
94
00:04:54,253 --> 00:04:55,629
He's buggin'.
95
00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:57,131
Ah, shit.
96
00:04:57,881 --> 00:05:00,801
I think I just learned the true meaning
of that word-- buggin'.
97
00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:04,638
Hey, who's the teacher now, bitch?
[goofy laugh]
98
00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:06,265
"Nelson."
99
00:05:07,224 --> 00:05:08,600
[Gloria screams]
100
00:05:09,685 --> 00:05:10,811
[Gloria] Dammit!
101
00:05:12,146 --> 00:05:13,188
[Gloria] Fuck!
102
00:05:15,858 --> 00:05:18,986
[Gloria] Shit, shit, shit, shit.
103
00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:21,321
- What's going on?
- We got problems.
104
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:25,034
Last night on the security cameras,
I heard the rich bitch talking to
105
00:05:25,034 --> 00:05:26,326
Old Wrinkly Balls about the--
106
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:28,620
Wait, so we're doing codenames with
the congresswoman and her husband?
107
00:05:28,620 --> 00:05:31,290
- That's dope.
- We're not doing codenames. I was just--
108
00:05:31,290 --> 00:05:33,292
- Codenames would be cool.
- I'm down with it.
109
00:05:33,292 --> 00:05:34,710
Fine. Codenames.
110
00:05:34,710 --> 00:05:36,879
- I heard the rich lady tell her--
- [both] "Rich Bitch."
111
00:05:36,879 --> 00:05:39,339
- She told her husband.
- [Jack and Barb] "Old Wrinkly Balls."
112
00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:41,800
She told him that she has
a meeting tomorrow morning to
113
00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:43,927
find out which companies
will make the vaccine.
114
00:05:43,927 --> 00:05:45,220
[yawning] That's good.
115
00:05:45,220 --> 00:05:48,515
It's been, like, three weeks.
I thought this pandemic would never end.
116
00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:52,519
- It's not good.
- Antivaxxer. There's always one.
117
00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:55,689
It's not good because as soon as
Rich Bitch finds out which companies
118
00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:58,358
to invest in, she will clear out
her secret bank account,
119
00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:00,736
which means there will be
no money left for us to steal.
120
00:06:00,736 --> 00:06:04,865
Evil wins, the rich get richer,
and our whole plan here goes to shit.
121
00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:08,911
Wait, that's a plan?
I thought it was really cool wallpaper.
122
00:06:08,911 --> 00:06:10,746
I've been looking for it online.
123
00:06:10,746 --> 00:06:12,331
What do you mean
the whole plan goes to shit?
124
00:06:12,331 --> 00:06:14,333
The plan can't go to shit.
We need that money.
125
00:06:14,333 --> 00:06:17,419
- You promised me a new identity.
- And we got a wedding to pay for.
126
00:06:17,419 --> 00:06:20,798
Usually the father of the bride pays,
but he made me choose between a wedding
127
00:06:20,798 --> 00:06:24,093
- and an ostrich at my bat mitzvah.
- [Barb] I got big plans, too.
128
00:06:24,093 --> 00:06:28,597
My hot, younger online boyfriend might
not exist, but my fat knees still do.
129
00:06:28,597 --> 00:06:31,141
- Lipo ain't cheap.
- Your knees aren't fat.
130
00:06:31,141 --> 00:06:33,477
- You don't think so?
- Guys, focus!
131
00:06:33,477 --> 00:06:35,395
We have to get the money
out of the account
132
00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:37,064
before she gets to
that meeting tomorrow morning.
133
00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:41,151
Okay, well, the account is in
the housekeeper's name, right?
134
00:06:41,151 --> 00:06:42,528
Since we have her license,
135
00:06:42,528 --> 00:06:44,321
can't you just go into the bank
and pretend to be her?
136
00:06:44,321 --> 00:06:47,658
I can, but I can't get anywhere
without the account number.
137
00:06:48,367 --> 00:06:51,161
Yeah, I thought I would be able
to see which key she pressed
138
00:06:51,161 --> 00:06:52,871
when she logged in to check her balance.
139
00:06:52,871 --> 00:06:55,249
She used to see his email as a username,
140
00:06:55,249 --> 00:06:58,627
but when she went to type in the password,
her husband's pasty thigh got in the way.
141
00:06:58,627 --> 00:07:01,380
Ugh, that's so white.
It looks like it's... Well...
142
00:07:01,380 --> 00:07:05,175
It looks like it's covered in paste.
I guess you nailed it with "pasty."
143
00:07:05,175 --> 00:07:09,096
Ugh! If we just had that password,
we can log in and get the account number.
144
00:07:09,096 --> 00:07:11,014
[Rooster] Hey, what about that weird
Russian chick who got us
145
00:07:11,014 --> 00:07:12,766
the password for the security cameras?
146
00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:15,894
I already tried. She's on a juice fast,
and she got really bitchy with me.
147
00:07:15,894 --> 00:07:19,857
- She wants 600 grand, so screw that.
- Hey, wait. Did you see this?
148
00:07:19,857 --> 00:07:22,985
There's a thing you can click
here that says forgot password.
149
00:07:22,985 --> 00:07:24,111
- Seriously?
- Yeah.
150
00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:26,029
Holy shit, Jack. You're a genius.
151
00:07:26,029 --> 00:07:27,656
- Click it.
- Yeah?
152
00:07:29,491 --> 00:07:30,742
Oh, wait.
153
00:07:30,742 --> 00:07:35,080
Now we have to answer some riddle.
"What is the make--"
154
00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:36,331
[Gloria] "And model of your first car?
155
00:07:36,331 --> 00:07:38,876
What is the name of your first pet?
What is your favorite song?"
156
00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:41,837
You were being sarcastic when
you called me a genius, weren't you?
157
00:07:41,837 --> 00:07:42,796
No.
158
00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:44,006
[phone ringing]
159
00:07:44,006 --> 00:07:46,175
Oh, shit. It's my folks.
160
00:07:50,053 --> 00:07:53,849
What time is it there?
Is everything okay?
161
00:07:53,849 --> 00:08:00,480
When you were in prison, locked in a room
with the same person day in and day out,
162
00:08:00,856 --> 00:08:03,942
did you ever fantasize about killing them?
163
00:08:03,942 --> 00:08:05,569
What's going on, Mom?
164
00:08:05,569 --> 00:08:09,656
All your father talks about
is what he ate, what he's eating,
165
00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:11,491
what he's going to eat next.
166
00:08:12,326 --> 00:08:17,247
I can't take it anymore. I packed up
my stuff and I found my own place.
167
00:08:17,247 --> 00:08:18,624
[refrigerator rattles]
168
00:08:18,624 --> 00:08:22,502
- Ma, you can't live under a table.
- Who are you talking to?
169
00:08:22,753 --> 00:08:23,629
Jack.
170
00:08:23,921 --> 00:08:26,590
- Hey, Jack.
- Hi, Dad. How are you doing?
171
00:08:28,592 --> 00:08:29,593
[groaning]
172
00:08:30,385 --> 00:08:33,388
Not so great.
Your mother left me.
173
00:08:33,388 --> 00:08:38,268
I heard. Look, guys, trust me.
I know being stuck in a room can be rough.
174
00:08:38,268 --> 00:08:41,063
But I'm going to come to San Diego,
and I'm going to get you out of there.
175
00:08:41,063 --> 00:08:42,105
I promise.
176
00:08:42,564 --> 00:08:45,192
We just have, uh... We just have
a few things we need to figure out.
177
00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:48,403
"We"? Does that mean
your girlfriend's coming with you?
178
00:08:48,403 --> 00:08:49,655
Oh. Gloria?
179
00:08:49,655 --> 00:08:50,656
I don't know.
180
00:08:50,656 --> 00:08:54,910
I mean, we haven't talked about it.
And he's not my-- actually...
181
00:08:55,786 --> 00:08:58,747
- I don't know what she is.
- I thought she was Latina.
182
00:08:58,747 --> 00:09:00,207
I've been picturing Charo.
183
00:09:00,207 --> 00:09:03,543
No, he means he doesn't
know if Gloria is his girlfriend or not.
184
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:06,129
Why don't you just ask her
if she wants to come with you?
185
00:09:06,129 --> 00:09:10,425
- Then you'll know.
- Well, that's easier said than done, Ma.
186
00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:13,178
When I was talking to her
through the toilet in prison,
187
00:09:13,178 --> 00:09:15,138
I could flirt, I could say anything.
188
00:09:15,138 --> 00:09:19,226
But actually looking her
in the eye and asking her if she--
189
00:09:19,393 --> 00:09:21,478
I don't know, if she likes me?
190
00:09:21,478 --> 00:09:23,855
She wants to go
across the country with me?
191
00:09:23,855 --> 00:09:26,650
- It's hard.
- Does she not speak English?
192
00:09:26,650 --> 00:09:30,112
No, Dad, she speaks English.
Look, it's not her. It's me.
193
00:09:30,112 --> 00:09:32,906
I was planning on having
more money before making this move.
194
00:09:33,156 --> 00:09:36,535
- It's turned into a bit of a puzzle.
- Maybe you could pick up some extra work.
195
00:09:36,535 --> 00:09:40,539
I saw on the news that parents are
getting frustrated with online learning,
196
00:09:40,539 --> 00:09:43,583
and the demand
for tutors is through the roof.
197
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:48,213
- Tutoring?
- I had a chicken salad sandwich yesterday.
198
00:09:49,131 --> 00:09:54,094
Herb, your testicle is hanging
out of your underwear. Tuck it in.
199
00:09:54,219 --> 00:09:57,264
Looks like your upper thigh is trying
to blow a bubble.
200
00:09:58,015 --> 00:10:01,101
[Rooster] Look, if you zoom in
on the video, you could see the password.
201
00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:04,104
It's six dots.
Help me find the dot key.
202
00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:08,859
- Where's Gloria?
- She went for a drive.
203
00:10:08,859 --> 00:10:11,236
She said her ideas
were giving her a headache.
204
00:10:11,862 --> 00:10:15,324
Try the 'O'. Kind of looks like
a dot if you didn't know it was an 'O'.
205
00:10:17,367 --> 00:10:23,206
- It's a dot! We cracked it!
- The housekeeper, Lucia, has a kid, right?
206
00:10:23,206 --> 00:10:24,166
Yeah.
207
00:10:24,166 --> 00:10:26,710
That's how the congresswoman
got her to open the bank account.
208
00:10:26,710 --> 00:10:30,005
She lied to her and said she's gonna
put money in it for her kid's college.
209
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:33,091
Wow, I guess I've been
listening more than I thought.
210
00:10:34,343 --> 00:10:37,554
Shit. Didn't work.
Maybe it's a capital dot.
211
00:10:38,180 --> 00:10:40,891
Which one of these
is the make-things-bigger button?
212
00:10:45,854 --> 00:10:48,231
Hey, if you're thinking of
kidnapping the kid
213
00:10:48,231 --> 00:10:52,152
and asking for the password as ransom,
Gloria already shot that down.
214
00:10:57,282 --> 00:10:59,284
A lot of people think technology is great.
215
00:10:59,284 --> 00:11:01,912
I don't think it's as
good as it's cracked up to be.
216
00:11:01,912 --> 00:11:04,748
Social media has ruined
the art of stalking women.
217
00:11:04,748 --> 00:11:06,875
Facebook, Instagram, Twitter.
218
00:11:06,875 --> 00:11:10,629
People are so obsessed
with sharing every detail of their life.
219
00:11:11,046 --> 00:11:11,922
I mean, I get it.
220
00:11:11,922 --> 00:11:15,008
You're at Target buying socks.
I mean, let me work for it.
221
00:11:15,801 --> 00:11:16,718
Although...
222
00:11:17,511 --> 00:11:20,180
There are some apps that
suggest other women you might know
223
00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:24,142
who may be fun to stalk,
so I guess there's pros and cons.
224
00:11:24,142 --> 00:11:27,354
So my dumbass cousin,
Linwood, gets this email telling him
225
00:11:27,354 --> 00:11:29,356
he's won tickets to the Super Bowl.
226
00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:32,818
So, he goes to collect, right,
but it's actually the police
227
00:11:32,818 --> 00:11:35,779
scooping people up
with outstanding warrants.
228
00:11:36,279 --> 00:11:39,491
Linwood is like, "I didn't know that
you can make fake emails and shit."
229
00:11:39,491 --> 00:11:42,744
I'm like, "Dude, this is your
third time falling for this, dumbass."
230
00:11:42,911 --> 00:11:48,458
But now my boy pulling five figures,
scamming people with his own fake emails.
231
00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:53,088
My point is
sometimes the cops do help people.
232
00:11:54,548 --> 00:11:56,216
I'm telling you, man, trust me.
233
00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:59,719
People are easy to manipulate
if you know the right buttons and push.
234
00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:04,391
The best scam I ever pulled
was a fake children's modeling agency.
235
00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:05,350
Paco!
236
00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:09,729
Your school's having an essay contest,
and you've been selected to enter!
237
00:12:10,272 --> 00:12:12,691
His teacher said he's special.
238
00:12:12,691 --> 00:12:15,193
Once you tell
a parent their kid is special,
239
00:12:15,193 --> 00:12:17,571
they will give you
every dime that they own.
240
00:12:17,571 --> 00:12:21,283
Plus, you get pictures of the kids.
241
00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:23,994
[groans]
242
00:12:25,454 --> 00:12:28,707
Oh, find my laptop.
They sent a link so you can
243
00:12:28,707 --> 00:12:32,210
- get the details from the English tutor.
- All right, let's focus.
244
00:12:32,544 --> 00:12:35,672
Like I said, you need to turn in the essay
today if you want to win the contest.
245
00:12:35,672 --> 00:12:38,884
- Writing is boring.
- Okay.
246
00:12:41,636 --> 00:12:43,346
I'm so stupid.
247
00:12:43,346 --> 00:12:47,851
I know nothing about flowers.
Well, that point was just an example.
248
00:12:47,851 --> 00:12:49,561
Yours can be about anything.
249
00:12:49,561 --> 00:12:53,106
The secret to writing is choosing
something you're passionate about.
250
00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:54,316
Hmm.
251
00:12:55,650 --> 00:12:57,110
What rhymes with "meth"?
252
00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:58,403
[all] "Death."
253
00:13:00,030 --> 00:13:04,659
What if I told you that the essay
you need to write is about a superhero?
254
00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:06,328
Which one?
255
00:13:06,328 --> 00:13:10,707
You. You get to be the superhero,
and you can use your imagination
256
00:13:10,707 --> 00:13:12,626
to have whatever superpowers you want.
257
00:13:12,626 --> 00:13:17,172
I want to be made of electricity so
people can use me to charge their phone.
258
00:13:17,172 --> 00:13:21,092
Okay, that's very much
a hero for today's world.
259
00:13:21,384 --> 00:13:25,138
But first,
every superhero has an origin story.
260
00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:27,974
So your first assignment
is to find out everything you can
261
00:13:27,974 --> 00:13:31,269
about where you came from-- your mother.
262
00:13:31,269 --> 00:13:32,771
Grab a pencil.
263
00:13:34,773 --> 00:13:38,193
I want you to find out
where your mother grew up,
264
00:13:38,193 --> 00:13:41,363
what her favorite color is,
her favorite song.
265
00:13:43,615 --> 00:13:48,203
Yes, I'm sure I didn't
request no pizza sauce or cheese.
266
00:13:48,203 --> 00:13:50,789
What kind of a lunatic
orders just a naked crust?
267
00:13:50,789 --> 00:13:52,082
This is bullshit!
268
00:13:52,082 --> 00:13:53,583
I don't know how it happened either,
269
00:13:53,583 --> 00:13:56,086
but my son is staring at
a giant bread frisbee.
270
00:13:56,086 --> 00:13:58,588
- You need to send another pizza.
- Wait a second.
271
00:14:01,299 --> 00:14:03,885
I think I opened it upside down.
272
00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:06,805
Never mind.
273
00:14:07,097 --> 00:14:11,017
My future daughter-in-law just
got outsmarted by a cardboard box.
274
00:14:14,479 --> 00:14:15,647
Where have you been all day?
275
00:14:15,647 --> 00:14:18,817
I drove to the congresswoman's
hoping that once it got dark,
276
00:14:18,817 --> 00:14:20,652
I would find
a bank statement in her garbage,
277
00:14:20,652 --> 00:14:24,990
but all I discovered were that the fish
tacos they had last night weren't a hit.
278
00:14:25,657 --> 00:14:26,866
[printer whirring]
279
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:28,785
Hey, I think we're getting a fax.
280
00:14:28,785 --> 00:14:32,289
It's a printer. I found it
in your mom's stolen loot.
281
00:14:32,289 --> 00:14:34,207
I hooked it up last night.
282
00:14:35,417 --> 00:14:37,919
- Oh, good, it printed.
- What is it?
283
00:14:37,919 --> 00:14:41,715
It's an essay written by Lucia's son.
Read this part.
284
00:14:41,715 --> 00:14:45,176
The Paco-nator's mother,
Lucia, drove home from the hospital
285
00:14:45,176 --> 00:14:47,637
in her first car, a blue Dodge Neon.
286
00:14:47,637 --> 00:14:49,306
Yeah. And this one.
287
00:14:49,306 --> 00:14:52,767
Every time the Paco-nator
hears his mother's favorite song,
288
00:14:52,767 --> 00:14:55,937
"Groove is in the Heart"
by Deee-Lite, his powers multiply.
289
00:14:56,938 --> 00:15:00,734
The Paco-nator's trusty sidekick
is Bailey The Flying Hamster,
290
00:15:00,734 --> 00:15:03,778
named after his mother's first pet. Jack!
291
00:15:03,778 --> 00:15:05,822
- How did you get this?
- I emailed Lucia.
292
00:15:05,822 --> 00:15:09,075
I told her her son had been
chosen to be in an essay writing contest,
293
00:15:09,075 --> 00:15:11,036
and I pretended to be a tutor.
294
00:15:11,036 --> 00:15:12,370
Well, shit. Look at you.
295
00:15:12,370 --> 00:15:16,708
I guess some of Gloria's con artist skills
rubbed off on you when you two boned.
296
00:15:16,708 --> 00:15:19,544
You two boned? Aww.
297
00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:23,798
Paco-nator sounds more like a robot,
not a superhero.
298
00:15:23,798 --> 00:15:25,967
I'd have him change that if he
wanted to win the contest.
299
00:15:25,967 --> 00:15:28,928
- I can't believe it. You solved it.
- I know.
300
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:30,930
I actually had all the answers
a couple of hours ago,
301
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:33,099
but the kid was
struggling with contractions.
302
00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:36,061
I really enjoy teaching. It's very...
303
00:15:37,395 --> 00:15:40,190
Rewarding. [sniffs]
304
00:15:46,696 --> 00:15:49,491
Hey, why are you hanging it on the wall?
Don't you want to put the answers in?
305
00:15:49,491 --> 00:15:51,701
- Not yet.
- [Barb] Why not?
306
00:15:52,077 --> 00:15:54,871
Because I've been thinking,
once we get the password,
307
00:15:54,871 --> 00:15:56,665
we could just transfer the money online
308
00:15:56,665 --> 00:15:59,084
and I don't have to
do all this nonsense with Stan.
309
00:15:59,084 --> 00:16:03,546
Yeah, that'd be great, but online
transfers have limits and safeguards.
310
00:16:03,546 --> 00:16:07,300
Computers are a hard target.
The softer target is people.
311
00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:08,802
We need a softy like Stan.
312
00:16:09,427 --> 00:16:10,720
Plus, when we mess with the password,
313
00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:13,098
the bank is going to send
the congresswoman an alert on her phone.
314
00:16:13,098 --> 00:16:15,433
So, all this needs to get done
when we know she's in a place
315
00:16:15,433 --> 00:16:18,144
- she can't get any notifications.
- How will we know that?
316
00:16:21,731 --> 00:16:25,151
That's what this is all about.
Everybody, get comfortable.
317
00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:27,153
We have a lot to
go through before tomorrow morning.
318
00:16:28,071 --> 00:16:29,364
"Super Paco"!
319
00:16:29,656 --> 00:16:32,575
- I was thinking that, too!
- Soul mates.
320
00:16:34,077 --> 00:16:35,870
We're talking baby names, right?
321
00:16:42,877 --> 00:16:44,379
♪ ♪
322
00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:52,595
It's a little late to be changing my plan.
We're leaving in a few minutes.
323
00:16:52,595 --> 00:16:57,183
No, I wasn't. I thought it'd be cool
to show what happens after the plan.
324
00:16:57,183 --> 00:16:59,102
I got Rooster and Wiggles getting married.
325
00:16:59,102 --> 00:17:02,647
Barb with skinny knees,
although I still think she's being crazy.
326
00:17:03,148 --> 00:17:05,817
And I'm over here with my parents,
teaching in San Diego.
327
00:17:05,817 --> 00:17:06,818
That's cute.
328
00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:13,700
Is there, I don't know, anywhere
in particular you want me to put you?
329
00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:16,745
Just make sure there's
a margarita in my hand, and I'm good.
330
00:17:18,496 --> 00:17:22,625
Are you sure I need to say all
this to Stan when we FaceTime?
331
00:17:22,625 --> 00:17:26,212
- That poor sap is gonna soil his dockers.
- Yes, I'm sure.
332
00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:27,881
I thought we would have
more time to ease into it,
333
00:17:27,881 --> 00:17:31,134
- but it has to happen this morning.
- I think something's been nibbling
334
00:17:31,134 --> 00:17:33,094
the cheese that represents
the Swiss bank account.
335
00:17:33,094 --> 00:17:34,262
Could be the mice,
336
00:17:34,262 --> 00:17:37,682
or it's the raccoon that likes to
let himself in every now and again.
337
00:17:37,682 --> 00:17:40,977
Also, Rooster had some hermit crabs
that climbed out of their cage
338
00:17:40,977 --> 00:17:43,313
about 20 years ago that we never found.
339
00:17:43,313 --> 00:17:44,814
- There's a lot of suspects.
- [Rooster] Come on.
340
00:17:44,814 --> 00:17:46,941
Just practice with me a few more times.
341
00:17:46,941 --> 00:17:49,694
- I've got to go to work, baby.
- [Jack] This early?
342
00:17:49,694 --> 00:17:53,656
I thought bikini bars are more of
a mid-afternoon-evening kind of situation.
343
00:17:53,656 --> 00:17:56,618
We've been opening early
for essential workers.
344
00:17:56,618 --> 00:17:58,495
Not all heroes wear clothes.
345
00:18:03,166 --> 00:18:05,168
Good luck with your bank robbery.
346
00:18:06,127 --> 00:18:08,838
Bless her stupid little monkey brain.
347
00:18:08,838 --> 00:18:12,467
She thinks it's like the wallpaper
in Willy Wonka's house.
348
00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:17,055
We need to call this off. I haven't had
enough time to prepare for the role.
349
00:18:17,055 --> 00:18:20,934
Rooster, it's a 30-second phone call.
I thought you had acting experience.
350
00:18:20,934 --> 00:18:24,354
Your mom told me you got your nickname
because you were in Annie as a kid.
351
00:18:24,938 --> 00:18:28,775
In Annie, Rooster was a crook.
Growing up, I was surrounded by crooks.
352
00:18:28,775 --> 00:18:31,820
I don't know anything about some guy from
New York that works in an auction house.
353
00:18:31,820 --> 00:18:33,321
I mean, what makes him tick?
354
00:18:33,321 --> 00:18:35,782
Does he wear a suit?
I don't even have a suit.
355
00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:38,326
- No one is going to see you.
- Girl, I will see me.
356
00:18:38,326 --> 00:18:41,037
I can't make people believe it
if I don't believe it.
357
00:18:41,037 --> 00:18:44,624
Use the tuxedo I brought home from prison.
It's covered in moth holes,
358
00:18:44,624 --> 00:18:51,589
but, hey, maybe you got stabbed
100 or so times on your way to your...
359
00:18:51,923 --> 00:18:54,425
catering gig on the Upper West--
360
00:18:54,425 --> 00:18:57,679
No. On the way to your daughter's...
361
00:18:57,679 --> 00:19:03,351
- No. Your niece's wedding in Brooklyn.
- There we go. Backstory. Thank you.
362
00:19:04,602 --> 00:19:09,649
Uh-oh, 8:15. We got to roll.
Barb, you know what you need to do.
363
00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:11,359
♪ ♪
364
00:19:27,083 --> 00:19:28,293
[FaceTime ringing]
365
00:19:28,293 --> 00:19:30,128
[phone buzzing]
366
00:19:32,714 --> 00:19:33,965
Hi, Barb.
367
00:19:33,965 --> 00:19:35,842
I thought we
were FaceTiming later tonight.
368
00:19:35,842 --> 00:19:39,554
I took a gamble and left some dice
in your mailbox so we could play Yahtzee.
369
00:19:40,555 --> 00:19:44,434
I had a naughty dream about you
last night. I thought we could finish it.
370
00:19:46,978 --> 00:19:49,105
Do sexy thing with-- oh.
371
00:19:53,109 --> 00:19:59,240
Oh, my. Well, actually, I'm over at Mom's,
helping her with something.
372
00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:00,408
Can it wait?
373
00:20:00,408 --> 00:20:05,455
I knew it. This is why I don't
date buttoned-up, corporate-type Stan.
374
00:20:05,455 --> 00:20:08,625
Everything has to be on a schedule.
Maybe this isn't going to work.
375
00:20:08,625 --> 00:20:10,001
No. No, no, no, no.
376
00:20:12,086 --> 00:20:13,212
I'm good.
377
00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:15,089
- I'm here.
- Are you sure?
378
00:20:15,089 --> 00:20:18,676
Because I have needs, Stan--
physical needs that have to come first
379
00:20:18,676 --> 00:20:21,888
- if this is going to work.
- Of course. I never--
380
00:20:21,888 --> 00:20:25,767
Stan, is this a mole
on my ankle or a raisin?
381
00:20:25,767 --> 00:20:27,936
I don't know, Mom.
Just give me a minute.
382
00:20:27,936 --> 00:20:31,814
I need a man of spontaneity
who doesn't follow all the rules.
383
00:20:31,814 --> 00:20:34,192
Are you a banker or a lover?
384
00:20:34,192 --> 00:20:36,402
I would like to think
that I'm capable of being both.
385
00:20:36,402 --> 00:20:37,362
Ow!
386
00:20:37,362 --> 00:20:41,366
It was a mole.
I cut it off. Now I'm bleeding.
387
00:20:42,116 --> 00:20:46,079
- Hold on.
- Hold on? Love doesn't hold on.
388
00:20:46,079 --> 00:20:49,582
Oh, boy.
That is a bit of a gusher here.
389
00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:51,000
Put some pressure on it.
390
00:20:52,710 --> 00:20:56,297
Stan, I need to know
what kind of a guy you are.
391
00:20:57,548 --> 00:21:01,177
I'm the guy who will rail you
deep into next week, Barb Martinez.
392
00:21:01,177 --> 00:21:05,223
- Beg pardon?
- I got what you ache for girl.
393
00:21:05,223 --> 00:21:09,394
I will bend you like
a pleasure pretzel and devour every hot,
394
00:21:09,394 --> 00:21:13,564
- salty curve of that sweet Barb booty.
- Oh, my.
395
00:21:13,564 --> 00:21:19,237
Let's work each other's bodies
until we're like two worn out, dirty
396
00:21:19,237 --> 00:21:22,699
dish rags with every
last orgasm squeezed out of us.
397
00:21:24,409 --> 00:21:27,203
- Too much?
- No. No, not at all.
398
00:21:27,787 --> 00:21:31,958
- I just wasn't expecting...
- Barb, I've had ladies
399
00:21:31,958 --> 00:21:36,295
call me mild-mannered and leave me
for some pretty crude alpha males.
400
00:21:36,295 --> 00:21:39,966
When you wanted to start dating, I
promised I wouldn't let that happen again.
401
00:21:39,966 --> 00:21:43,094
So, I researched what women
find exciting about bad boys.
402
00:21:43,094 --> 00:21:46,556
I took notes, put them
in a spreadsheet, ran the numbers,
403
00:21:46,556 --> 00:21:48,474
and this is what it told me.
404
00:21:48,599 --> 00:21:51,519
I needed to give you
something you weren't expecting.
405
00:21:54,313 --> 00:21:58,860
You did that for me?
Holy shit, that is hot.
406
00:21:59,652 --> 00:22:01,988
I did it myself because of COVID.
407
00:22:02,697 --> 00:22:04,741
It took a few tries.
You don't want to see the other one.
408
00:22:04,741 --> 00:22:06,659
You got to break
a few eggs to make an omelet.
409
00:22:06,659 --> 00:22:11,706
Ugh! Stan!
These raisins taste terrible.
410
00:22:11,706 --> 00:22:13,416
Barb, she's gonna
eat her whole foot if I don't...
411
00:22:13,416 --> 00:22:19,213
Yeah. No. No, that's fine. You go ahead
and do your thing. I'll call you later.
412
00:22:21,299 --> 00:22:22,759
Oh, my God.
413
00:22:31,726 --> 00:22:36,189
- Okay, here we go. Are you ready?
- Yeah, I think so.
414
00:22:36,314 --> 00:22:39,984
Although I do feel I should mention--
I mean, I respect that conning people
415
00:22:39,984 --> 00:22:43,321
is your area of expertise,
but what if he starts asking questions
416
00:22:43,321 --> 00:22:44,655
and we don't have the answers,
417
00:22:44,655 --> 00:22:46,908
- and then he starts--
- Shit. Get down.
418
00:22:46,908 --> 00:22:48,576
Get in the back seat.
Get in the back seat.
419
00:22:48,576 --> 00:22:49,786
Quick, quick. Take your shoes off.
420
00:22:49,786 --> 00:22:50,745
- What?
- Take your shoes off!
421
00:22:50,745 --> 00:22:52,663
Now put them on your head.
Put them on your head.
422
00:22:52,663 --> 00:22:54,123
Yeah. What?
423
00:22:54,123 --> 00:22:56,084
Now, if I would have told you
ten seconds ago
424
00:22:56,084 --> 00:22:57,960
that you'd be in the backseat
with shoes on your head,
425
00:22:57,960 --> 00:22:58,961
would you have believed me?
426
00:22:59,712 --> 00:23:00,588
No.
427
00:23:00,588 --> 00:23:03,508
That's because when people are scared,
they don't think. They just act.
428
00:23:03,508 --> 00:23:06,135
This guy's Twitter page says
that he's afraid of lightning bugs
429
00:23:06,135 --> 00:23:07,303
and leaving voicemails.
430
00:23:07,303 --> 00:23:09,722
I'm sure it's not going to
take much to intimidate him.
431
00:23:09,722 --> 00:23:12,767
Well, you could have
just explained that to me.
432
00:23:12,767 --> 00:23:14,227
I could have.
433
00:23:14,227 --> 00:23:16,062
♪ ♪
434
00:23:21,067 --> 00:23:22,193
Collin Davis?
435
00:23:22,819 --> 00:23:25,947
- Yes?
- Agent Danielle Sanchez, FBI.
436
00:23:25,947 --> 00:23:27,865
We need to talk
to you about your involvement
437
00:23:27,865 --> 00:23:30,159
in a conspiracy to commit tax fraud.
438
00:23:32,662 --> 00:23:34,288
[spitting]
439
00:23:37,291 --> 00:23:39,585
You gotta believe me. I didn't
know I was doing anything illegal.
440
00:23:39,585 --> 00:23:42,338
The congresswoman just told me to take
all her art to New York, so I did.
441
00:23:42,338 --> 00:23:44,757
- I knew she was up to something.
- So you knew?
442
00:23:44,757 --> 00:23:46,676
- No, he didn't.
- He just said he did.
443
00:23:46,676 --> 00:23:49,053
He presumed. That's not knowing.
We knew nothing.
444
00:23:49,053 --> 00:23:52,056
Really? So I guess you didn't know about
the congresswoman selling the art
445
00:23:52,056 --> 00:23:56,352
under the name Lucia Gonzalez so she
could avoid paying taxes on the profit.
446
00:23:57,145 --> 00:24:00,273
- I was delivering her pay.
- Pay or payoff
447
00:24:00,273 --> 00:24:03,192
so you can keep her quiet
about your little moneymaking operation.
448
00:24:03,192 --> 00:24:05,903
The two of you,
the congresswoman and Mrs. Gonzalez,
449
00:24:05,903 --> 00:24:08,990
are implicated in a scheme to
defraud the United States government.
450
00:24:08,990 --> 00:24:11,826
The two of us?
I only agreed to help him out,
451
00:24:11,826 --> 00:24:15,121
because we got in a stupid fight
about how I don't support his dumb career.
452
00:24:15,121 --> 00:24:16,205
Dumb career?
453
00:24:16,205 --> 00:24:18,249
Last time I checked,
my dumb career was the only thing
454
00:24:18,249 --> 00:24:20,209
keeping us afloat
while you pursue your dream.
455
00:24:20,209 --> 00:24:24,505
- Dance is not a dream. It's a calling.
- All right, I'm gonna cut to the chase.
456
00:24:24,505 --> 00:24:27,967
The two of you are in a lot
of trouble unless you cooperate.
457
00:24:27,967 --> 00:24:29,927
Yes, absolutely.
I will do whatever.
458
00:24:29,927 --> 00:24:33,222
I will wear a wire. I will testify.
Take my DNA.
459
00:24:35,933 --> 00:24:37,560
Ew. Uh...
460
00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:42,481
Okay. We'll take this
to the lab right away.
461
00:24:42,481 --> 00:24:45,359
Mr. Davis,
you've been driving the congresswoman
462
00:24:45,359 --> 00:24:46,944
to her office, is that correct?
463
00:24:46,944 --> 00:24:50,615
Ever since she broke her foot when she--
fell down the stairs.
464
00:24:50,615 --> 00:24:52,825
We saw. We see everything.
465
00:24:53,409 --> 00:24:56,412
She has a committee meeting
this morning that you'll be taking her to.
466
00:24:56,412 --> 00:24:58,956
We need to be sure
she doesn't make it to that meeting.
467
00:24:58,956 --> 00:25:01,125
- Why?
- None of your business why.
468
00:25:01,125 --> 00:25:03,753
The FBI doesn't divulge
details of an ongoing investigation.
469
00:25:03,753 --> 00:25:05,213
Here's how it's going to work.
470
00:25:06,297 --> 00:25:09,383
You're going to pick her up at 9:00,
just like you always do.
471
00:25:09,383 --> 00:25:11,093
Whether she's walking
the halls of the capital
472
00:25:11,093 --> 00:25:12,762
or dancing in DC's hottest nightclub,
473
00:25:12,762 --> 00:25:16,474
this congresswoman does both
in her chic orthopedic walking boot.
474
00:25:16,474 --> 00:25:18,017
Okay, maybe just dial down the gay
475
00:25:18,017 --> 00:25:20,102
to a seven today.
I'm not in the mood.
476
00:25:21,312 --> 00:25:24,232
[Gloria] You'll say you
saw some traffic on your way in,
477
00:25:24,232 --> 00:25:27,318
so you're going
to take Route 40 to avoid it.
478
00:25:28,444 --> 00:25:30,988
When we were following you
the night you moved the art,
479
00:25:30,988 --> 00:25:34,951
we noticed there was a dead zone
right past the sign for Oakdale Winery.
480
00:25:34,951 --> 00:25:39,622
Lindsay, are you still there? Lindsay?
481
00:25:40,039 --> 00:25:42,500
[Gloria] Not long after she
loses reception on her phone,
482
00:25:42,500 --> 00:25:45,920
you'll round a bend in the road
and see Agent Harris.
483
00:25:48,839 --> 00:25:51,842
You better not be stopping for another
stupid animal in the road.
484
00:25:53,886 --> 00:25:56,889
- Uh, what's going on?
- Tree fell up ahead.
485
00:25:56,889 --> 00:26:00,017
- Should be just a couple of minutes.
- Thank you so much.
486
00:26:00,184 --> 00:26:02,019
- What's going on?
- There's a tree in the road,
487
00:26:02,019 --> 00:26:04,772
- so we just have to wait, like, a second.
- I don't give a shit about trees unless...
488
00:26:04,772 --> 00:26:08,442
[Gloria] Then, no matter what she says,
your job is to just sit there
489
00:26:08,442 --> 00:26:10,861
and make sure
she doesn't have cell service.
490
00:26:11,529 --> 00:26:13,281
Yeah, I don't think I'm going to do that.
491
00:26:14,865 --> 00:26:16,409
- What?
- Wha--
492
00:26:16,409 --> 00:26:18,619
If you don't do that,
then you're gonna go to prison.
493
00:26:18,619 --> 00:26:20,913
And trust me, prison is no picnic.
494
00:26:20,913 --> 00:26:24,250
- That's okay. I don't like picnics.
- Fine. It's no day at the beach.
495
00:26:24,583 --> 00:26:27,628
- Eh. All that sand.
- God damn it, man.
496
00:26:27,628 --> 00:26:29,630
Collin, what are you doing?
You need to cooperate.
497
00:26:29,630 --> 00:26:32,049
I don't think you understand
who they're asking me to betray.
498
00:26:32,049 --> 00:26:33,592
The congresswoman is evil.
499
00:26:33,592 --> 00:26:37,346
- Trust me, I've seen things.
- But we're not just talking about you.
500
00:26:37,346 --> 00:26:38,723
What about your boyfriend?
501
00:26:38,723 --> 00:26:42,143
- You're going to let him go down for this?
- I've seen him go down for less.
502
00:26:42,143 --> 00:26:44,770
- Excuse me?
- You know who I'm talking about.
503
00:26:44,770 --> 00:26:47,148
Besides, all I've been reading about
is how they're letting people
504
00:26:47,148 --> 00:26:49,191
out of jail because of COVID.
I'll call my uncle.
505
00:26:49,191 --> 00:26:51,152
He's a lawyer.
He can probably get us probation.
506
00:26:51,152 --> 00:26:52,903
[groaning, grunting]
507
00:26:52,903 --> 00:26:55,114
Uncle, uncle, uncle, uncle!
508
00:27:00,077 --> 00:27:02,496
Just calm down, okay?
No one's seen our faces,
509
00:27:02,496 --> 00:27:04,999
and those two are too busy
arguing to realize we're not legit.
510
00:27:04,999 --> 00:27:06,792
[muffled arguing]
511
00:27:09,045 --> 00:27:11,005
- See? We're fine.
- Fine?
512
00:27:11,005 --> 00:27:12,673
There's no way they're
going to cooperate right now.
513
00:27:12,673 --> 00:27:15,176
We got to figure out some
other way to get this money.
514
00:27:15,176 --> 00:27:18,429
[Melvin] What money?
You better pick this shit up, man.
515
00:27:18,429 --> 00:27:20,014
You're phone. You're phone!
516
00:27:22,058 --> 00:27:23,601
Melvin, not a good time.
517
00:27:23,601 --> 00:27:25,353
Not a good time for me, either.
518
00:27:25,353 --> 00:27:27,313
But since your ass cheek had the audacity
519
00:27:27,313 --> 00:27:29,940
to call me over and over again,
tell me what's up.
520
00:27:29,940 --> 00:27:31,859
What money?
You doing a job without me, Jake?
521
00:27:31,859 --> 00:27:36,697
No. No job. Just, uh, I'm at the store
trying to get a refund for, uh...
522
00:27:38,699 --> 00:27:41,243
Lavender and cucumber hydrating sunscreen.
523
00:27:41,243 --> 00:27:42,745
I heard a girl screaming.
524
00:27:42,745 --> 00:27:45,998
Yeah, some people freaked out
when I got closer than six feet.
525
00:27:45,998 --> 00:27:48,334
- Listen, I got to go.
- Whoa. Hold up.
526
00:27:48,334 --> 00:27:50,920
If you're at the drugstore,
can you get me some lady razors?
527
00:27:50,920 --> 00:27:53,381
I feel like we're close enough
to tell you that I shave my legs.
528
00:27:53,381 --> 00:27:54,590
- Really?
- Yeah.
529
00:27:54,590 --> 00:27:57,593
One night when I was high,
I let a chick do it to me.
530
00:27:57,593 --> 00:28:00,846
And once you get a taste of them
smooth-ass calves, it's hard to go back.
531
00:28:00,846 --> 00:28:03,808
Good to know. Will do. Sorry.
532
00:28:03,808 --> 00:28:05,768
If Collin is not there
to pick up the congresswoman,
533
00:28:05,768 --> 00:28:10,064
she's gonna order an Uber to take her
to the meeting, which means in 15 minutes,
534
00:28:10,064 --> 00:28:12,775
any chance we had at pulling
this thing off goes out the window.
535
00:28:12,775 --> 00:28:14,318
Someone needs
to pick up the congresswoman.
536
00:28:16,153 --> 00:28:17,029
Who?
537
00:28:17,029 --> 00:28:20,199
Well, I have to be at the bank,
and you know how to drive, so...
538
00:28:21,742 --> 00:28:24,036
- No.
- Yes.
539
00:28:24,036 --> 00:28:24,995
No.
540
00:28:25,413 --> 00:28:28,749
- 14 minutes.
- [Melvin] 14 minutes to what?
541
00:28:28,749 --> 00:28:30,709
♪ ♪
542
00:28:36,424 --> 00:28:38,426
[funk music plays]
543
00:28:44,932 --> 00:28:46,976
[phone rings]
544
00:28:49,395 --> 00:28:52,773
Stan has a nipple ring, and I'd be lyin'
if I said I wasn't a little intrigued.
545
00:28:52,773 --> 00:28:55,818
There's no time, Barb!
Things went sideways! Where's Rooster?
546
00:28:55,818 --> 00:28:57,695
Rooster, get in here!
Things went...
547
00:28:57,695 --> 00:28:59,029
What word did you use?
548
00:28:59,029 --> 00:28:59,947
Sideways.
549
00:28:59,947 --> 00:29:01,157
Oh, I like that.
550
00:29:01,866 --> 00:29:03,409
Things went sideways.
551
00:29:03,409 --> 00:29:04,910
Well, what direction
were they supposed to go?
552
00:29:04,910 --> 00:29:05,911
Not sideways!
553
00:29:05,911 --> 00:29:08,164
The Congresswoman's aide
wouldn't agree to help us,
554
00:29:08,164 --> 00:29:12,460
so we had to restrain him
and his boyfriend and take their phones.
555
00:29:14,670 --> 00:29:16,672
Jack is gonna have to drive
the Congresswoman.
556
00:29:16,672 --> 00:29:18,883
Remember, she's not gonna
report this money missing.
557
00:29:18,883 --> 00:29:20,509
Plus, you'll be wearing a mask,
so you'll be fine.
558
00:29:20,509 --> 00:29:22,761
You just need to get her
into the dead zone by 9:15.
559
00:29:22,761 --> 00:29:23,846
- Got it.
- Okay.
560
00:29:24,847 --> 00:29:25,973
[alarm chirps]
561
00:29:25,973 --> 00:29:28,642
9:15 submarine, 9:15 submarine,
9:15 submarine...
562
00:29:28,642 --> 00:29:29,560
What are you doing?
563
00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:31,645
A mnemonic device.
Helps to remember.
564
00:29:31,645 --> 00:29:33,314
You don't get cell reception
in a dead zone,
565
00:29:33,314 --> 00:29:35,107
which is like bein' underwater,
like a submarine.
566
00:29:35,107 --> 00:29:36,609
9:15 submarine!
567
00:29:37,735 --> 00:29:40,905
Rooster, now that Jack is driving,
I need you to be the flagman.
568
00:29:40,905 --> 00:29:42,323
And you have to leave now!
569
00:29:42,323 --> 00:29:45,868
What?! I just got a handle
on the auction house guy.
570
00:29:45,868 --> 00:29:48,913
[speaks with lisp] I gave him a lisp
to make him seem sympathetic.
571
00:29:48,913 --> 00:29:50,456
[Gloria]
I'm not asking, I'm telling.
572
00:29:50,456 --> 00:29:52,583
We need someone
to stop Jack in the dead zone
573
00:29:52,583 --> 00:29:55,127
to keep the Congresswoman
from getting bank alerts.
574
00:29:55,127 --> 00:29:57,046
You need to find a stop sign
and a uniform.
575
00:29:57,046 --> 00:29:58,547
Top shelf, closet.
576
00:29:58,547 --> 00:30:00,716
I went through a vest phase
in the '90s.
577
00:30:03,260 --> 00:30:05,095
I don't know anything about flagmen.
578
00:30:05,095 --> 00:30:07,723
I mean, who is this guy?
Is he married?
579
00:30:07,723 --> 00:30:10,059
Why do they call him a flagman
if he holds up a stop sign?
580
00:30:10,059 --> 00:30:12,811
Hold the stupid sign up
and say there's construction up ahead.
581
00:30:12,811 --> 00:30:15,272
And we need someone else to read
the script that I gave you
582
00:30:15,272 --> 00:30:16,941
and pretend to be
from the auction house.
583
00:30:16,941 --> 00:30:18,692
I hate to have to ask this, but...
584
00:30:18,692 --> 00:30:19,944
can Wiggles read?
585
00:30:22,238 --> 00:30:23,948
It is a fair question.
586
00:30:23,948 --> 00:30:25,115
She can read.
587
00:30:25,908 --> 00:30:26,951
I think.
588
00:30:26,951 --> 00:30:28,410
Have you seen it performed?
589
00:30:28,410 --> 00:30:29,787
I've seen her read a sunscreen bottle.
590
00:30:29,787 --> 00:30:33,707
Yeah, she burns really easy
and, uh, she needs a really high spiff.
591
00:30:34,750 --> 00:30:35,584
Good enough.
592
00:30:35,584 --> 00:30:38,837
Take her the script
and then get yourself to Route 40.
593
00:30:38,837 --> 00:30:40,881
Past the sign for the Oakdale Winery.
594
00:30:40,881 --> 00:30:43,884
Jack is gonna be there at 9:15,
so we all have to hurry.
595
00:30:43,884 --> 00:30:45,844
I think that's the best we got.
596
00:30:45,844 --> 00:30:48,722
If anyone asks, just tell 'em
you were a flagman in Vegas.
597
00:30:50,182 --> 00:30:51,767
[Barb] Are you still sure
all this is gonna work?
598
00:30:51,767 --> 00:30:52,851
Nope.
599
00:30:55,104 --> 00:30:59,441
9:15 submarine, 9:15 submarine,
9:15 submarine, 9:15 submarine...
600
00:30:59,441 --> 00:31:01,527
[♪ "Memphis Soul Stew"
by King Curtis plays]
601
00:31:01,527 --> 00:31:04,238
[chainsaw whirring]
602
00:31:04,238 --> 00:31:06,740
[grunting]
603
00:31:12,871 --> 00:31:13,872
[beeps]
604
00:31:15,708 --> 00:31:18,377
Whoo!
605
00:31:25,801 --> 00:31:27,428
[phone chimes]
606
00:31:27,428 --> 00:31:28,345
[muttering]
607
00:31:30,264 --> 00:31:31,265
[phone chimes]
608
00:31:32,600 --> 00:31:34,602
[both arguing]
609
00:31:57,499 --> 00:32:00,753
Collin feels awful about this,
but we are right on schedule.
610
00:32:00,753 --> 00:32:02,087
You need to lose the mask
611
00:32:02,087 --> 00:32:03,422
in case somebody takes a picture.
612
00:32:03,422 --> 00:32:06,717
If I'm gonna keep my base,
I need to avoid masks like the plague.
613
00:32:07,718 --> 00:32:08,636
[grunts]
614
00:32:10,679 --> 00:32:13,932
I guess your snowflake son
forgot to tell you to pick up the coffee.
615
00:32:13,932 --> 00:32:16,018
We'll have to stop.
616
00:32:16,018 --> 00:32:18,312
So much for being on schedule.
617
00:32:20,147 --> 00:32:21,440
[♪ "Memphis Soul Stew"
by King Curtis continues]
618
00:32:25,486 --> 00:32:27,071
No texting and driving.
619
00:32:29,156 --> 00:32:30,282
Gonna run somebody over.
620
00:32:30,282 --> 00:32:32,242
I don't need that shit
on my Wikipedia page.
621
00:32:35,746 --> 00:32:37,414
[engine revs]
622
00:32:37,414 --> 00:32:39,500
[engine whirring]
623
00:32:52,429 --> 00:32:54,765
[♪ "Memphis Soul Stew"
by King Curtis continues]
624
00:32:59,978 --> 00:33:01,313
[beeps]
625
00:33:17,121 --> 00:33:21,458
[horn honking]
626
00:33:21,458 --> 00:33:22,376
Let's go!
627
00:33:22,376 --> 00:33:25,087
Jack is gonna have the Congresswoman
in the dead zone in ten minutes!
628
00:33:26,213 --> 00:33:27,464
What the hell are you wearing?
629
00:33:27,464 --> 00:33:30,551
The hottest time me and Stan ever did it
was in the '80s.
630
00:33:30,551 --> 00:33:33,595
I was workin' for a regional airline,
and he was on one of my flights.
631
00:33:33,595 --> 00:33:35,931
I was just feelin' nostalgic.
632
00:33:35,931 --> 00:33:37,266
[inhales deeply]
633
00:33:37,266 --> 00:33:41,270
If you breathe in deep, you can
still smell the Drakkar Noir and jet fuel.
634
00:33:41,270 --> 00:33:42,396
Get in the car!
635
00:33:42,396 --> 00:33:44,481
[♪ "Memphis Soul Stew"
by King Curtis continues]
636
00:33:46,442 --> 00:33:48,152
[tires screech]
637
00:33:49,945 --> 00:33:52,573
Hi, yeah, I need something
called a latte.
638
00:33:52,573 --> 00:33:53,615
What kind of milk?
639
00:33:53,615 --> 00:33:54,742
Uh...
640
00:33:54,742 --> 00:33:56,076
White.
641
00:33:56,076 --> 00:33:58,579
She doesn't strike me
as a chocolate milk type.
642
00:33:58,579 --> 00:33:59,705
Not a lot of whimsy.
643
00:33:59,705 --> 00:34:00,831
What kind of white?
644
00:34:00,831 --> 00:34:04,710
We have whole milk, skin milk,
almond milk, oat milk...
645
00:34:04,710 --> 00:34:06,086
[both grunting]
646
00:34:06,086 --> 00:34:09,298
[Gloria]
Kick her ass, Linda!
647
00:34:09,298 --> 00:34:12,593
2% milk, 1% milk, plant milk...
648
00:34:12,593 --> 00:34:15,304
Tony!
649
00:34:15,304 --> 00:34:18,557
Hazelnut milk,
macadamia milk, banana milk,
650
00:34:18,557 --> 00:34:22,936
rice milk, coconut milk,
hemp milk, buttermilk,
651
00:34:22,936 --> 00:34:27,191
camel's milk, quinoa milk,
raw milk, flax milk,
652
00:34:27,191 --> 00:34:29,234
cashew milk, goat milk...
653
00:34:29,234 --> 00:34:31,069
[♪ "Memphis Soul Stew"
by King Curtis continues]
654
00:34:31,069 --> 00:34:33,155
[panting]
655
00:34:34,990 --> 00:34:39,912
[grunts] Be careful. They were out
of all those little coffee cup tube tops.
656
00:34:39,912 --> 00:34:41,789
[grunts]
657
00:34:41,789 --> 00:34:43,248
[engine revs]
658
00:34:43,248 --> 00:34:45,667
I'm not saying the virus is a good thing,
659
00:34:45,667 --> 00:34:49,254
but the herd does need thinning
and it's mostly killing old people.
660
00:34:50,672 --> 00:34:51,673
Hang on, Grandma.
661
00:34:51,673 --> 00:34:54,426
This is disgusting.
This is not what I ordered.
662
00:34:54,426 --> 00:34:55,427
It's not?
663
00:34:55,427 --> 00:34:58,555
Well, I got the biggest size.
You said you wanted a lot.
664
00:34:58,555 --> 00:35:01,141
A latte! I said I wanted "a latte"!
665
00:35:01,141 --> 00:35:02,518
We have to turn around.
666
00:35:02,518 --> 00:35:04,937
Oh, I'm sorry, we can't do that.
We're runnin' a little late.
667
00:35:04,937 --> 00:35:07,773
Or latte.
Whatever pronunciation you prefer.
668
00:35:12,820 --> 00:35:15,155
[♪ "Talk About the Good Times"
by Jerry Reed plays]
669
00:35:15,155 --> 00:35:19,326
I think you got a long eyelash
or a short pube trapped in there.
670
00:35:19,326 --> 00:35:22,412
Doesn't matter.
Stan's not gonna get that close to it.
671
00:35:22,412 --> 00:35:24,748
[sighs] 9:15 submarine.
672
00:35:24,748 --> 00:35:26,625
- What?
- Nothing.
673
00:35:26,625 --> 00:35:29,086
No word from Jack.
It's go time.
674
00:35:29,086 --> 00:35:32,381
Let's answer these security questions
and get the account number.
675
00:35:32,381 --> 00:35:34,508
First pet: Bailey.
676
00:35:34,508 --> 00:35:36,927
Car: Dodge Neon.
677
00:35:36,927 --> 00:35:39,221
Favorite song...
678
00:35:39,221 --> 00:35:42,558
Shit. Is it "Groove Is in the Heart"
or "Groove Is in the Soul"?
679
00:35:42,558 --> 00:35:43,767
Barb.
680
00:35:43,767 --> 00:35:45,394
Barb, look at the essay.
What's the song?
681
00:35:45,394 --> 00:35:48,522
Are you sure there's not a way to do this
that doesn't involve Stan?
682
00:35:48,522 --> 00:35:49,523
What?
683
00:35:49,523 --> 00:35:52,359
Now that I've been talkin' to him more,
I just... I feel guilty.
684
00:35:52,359 --> 00:35:53,277
Give me the essay.
685
00:35:54,278 --> 00:35:55,821
Just promise me he won't get fired.
686
00:35:55,821 --> 00:35:57,197
He's not gonna get fired.
687
00:35:57,197 --> 00:35:59,616
We have to do this now
or we're gonna miss our window.
688
00:36:00,742 --> 00:36:02,411
You promise?
689
00:36:02,411 --> 00:36:04,162
Ow! Ow!
690
00:36:04,162 --> 00:36:06,039
Ow! Why does it always
have to come to this?!
691
00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:10,335
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
[chuckles]
692
00:36:10,335 --> 00:36:13,755
Grandma, you can't say that word anymore.
693
00:36:13,755 --> 00:36:17,426
I understand that you met one once.
It doesn't matter.
694
00:36:20,637 --> 00:36:23,390
[siren wails]
695
00:36:23,390 --> 00:36:26,977
I'm not saying it's not funny,
you just need to find a different word.
696
00:36:27,978 --> 00:36:29,104
No, that one's worse.
697
00:36:29,104 --> 00:36:30,355
Oh, shit.
698
00:36:30,355 --> 00:36:31,982
You got a cop behind you.
699
00:36:31,982 --> 00:36:33,609
No, not you, Grandma.
700
00:36:33,609 --> 00:36:34,860
You better pull over.
701
00:36:34,860 --> 00:36:37,362
I will. Just lookin' for a safe spot.
702
00:36:37,362 --> 00:36:39,781
I think I saw a winery up ahead
that had a parking lot.
703
00:36:40,741 --> 00:36:41,658
- [screams]
- Give me!
704
00:36:41,658 --> 00:36:44,369
[both grunting]
705
00:36:44,369 --> 00:36:46,496
- [screams]
- [grunts]
706
00:36:46,496 --> 00:36:47,748
Ugh, gross, it's warm.
707
00:36:47,748 --> 00:36:50,000
You didn't have to mess up my hair.
708
00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:53,378
All right, Lucia's favorite song
is "Groove Is in the Heart."
709
00:36:53,378 --> 00:36:54,504
"Groove Is in the Heart."
710
00:36:54,504 --> 00:36:56,381
[exhales deeply] All right.
711
00:36:56,381 --> 00:36:59,259
Say a prayer.
Here goes nothin'.
712
00:37:01,845 --> 00:37:02,679
[siren wailing]
713
00:37:02,679 --> 00:37:05,307
[Paula] No, I can't
turn the noise down, Grandma.
714
00:37:05,307 --> 00:37:08,018
- [phone beeping]
- Grandma?
715
00:37:08,018 --> 00:37:09,770
Shit, I lost her.
716
00:37:09,770 --> 00:37:10,812
You lost her?
717
00:37:10,812 --> 00:37:12,397
You better pull over now.
718
00:37:12,397 --> 00:37:13,982
I'm pullin' over. I'm pullin' over.
719
00:37:13,982 --> 00:37:16,068
[siren wailing]
720
00:37:20,697 --> 00:37:22,074
[Spanish accent]
Excuse me.
721
00:37:22,074 --> 00:37:24,117
I need to talk to a manager
right away.
722
00:37:24,117 --> 00:37:26,286
Stan O'Malley, Semi-Regional Manager.
723
00:37:26,286 --> 00:37:29,539
I was just checking online
and my balance is off.
724
00:37:29,539 --> 00:37:31,583
It is not right.
There has been a mistake.
725
00:37:31,583 --> 00:37:34,336
Uh, no need to panic. We get this a lot.
726
00:37:34,336 --> 00:37:37,047
Often a spouse makes a withdrawal
without your knowledge
727
00:37:37,047 --> 00:37:38,423
and the balance is a little lower than...
728
00:37:38,423 --> 00:37:40,842
No, no, it is not lower.
It is higher.
729
00:37:40,842 --> 00:37:42,803
Like, way higher.
730
00:37:42,803 --> 00:37:44,429
Two million dollars too high.
731
00:37:44,429 --> 00:37:49,226
Oh, my. Okay, well, let me
get into your account and take a look-see.
732
00:37:49,226 --> 00:37:51,478
I'll need your account number and an ID.
733
00:37:51,478 --> 00:37:54,481
And I'll need to take a peek
under that mask to verify your identity.
734
00:37:54,481 --> 00:37:56,733
No problem.
735
00:38:02,406 --> 00:38:03,782
This virus has me so worried.
736
00:38:03,782 --> 00:38:06,868
I take care of my mother
and if I was to bring this home to her,
737
00:38:06,868 --> 00:38:08,954
I would never forgive myself.
738
00:38:10,789 --> 00:38:14,001
I know how you feel.
I take care of my mom, too.
739
00:38:14,001 --> 00:38:16,795
One Covid germ at the tip of my finger
when I'm scraping
740
00:38:16,795 --> 00:38:19,506
the gummy fish off her teeth
and that's it.
741
00:38:19,506 --> 00:38:20,424
Ah.
742
00:38:20,424 --> 00:38:22,092
Sorry for all of this.
743
00:38:22,092 --> 00:38:23,844
I had to give my ID
at the pharmacy
744
00:38:23,844 --> 00:38:27,556
and the girl that I handed it to,
she had a nasty cough, so...
745
00:38:27,556 --> 00:38:31,101
Uh, actually, okay, that's fine.
Just... I can see it from there.
746
00:38:31,101 --> 00:38:34,354
No, you don't need to take your mask off.
I can tell it's you from the eyes.
747
00:38:34,354 --> 00:38:37,149
Okay. Thank you.
Account number?
748
00:38:38,650 --> 00:38:41,278
Get your license out.
I'm already running late.
749
00:38:41,278 --> 00:38:43,780
I don't have a...
I mean, I forgot my...
750
00:38:43,780 --> 00:38:45,490
What do you think the cop is waiting for?
751
00:38:45,490 --> 00:38:49,244
Probably running the plates to make sure
the car wasn't reported stolen.
752
00:38:51,288 --> 00:38:53,790
You ever work out
with those giant rubber bands?
753
00:38:53,790 --> 00:38:55,375
They're pretty strong, right?
754
00:38:55,375 --> 00:38:57,294
[indistinct radio transmission]
755
00:38:57,294 --> 00:38:59,129
I mean, if you accidentally got 'em
wrapped around your wrists
756
00:38:59,129 --> 00:39:02,299
and your ankles,
do you think you could chew your way free?
757
00:39:03,175 --> 00:39:04,676
[indistinct radio transmission]
758
00:39:06,303 --> 00:39:09,014
[Southern accent] I'm gonna need you
to step out of the vehicle, sir.
759
00:39:09,014 --> 00:39:09,931
[rooster crows]
760
00:39:11,475 --> 00:39:13,477
[tape rewinding]
761
00:39:13,477 --> 00:39:15,062
They had to change the plan.
762
00:39:15,062 --> 00:39:18,065
All you gotta do
is read the script when Gloria calls.
763
00:39:19,274 --> 00:39:21,401
Can you read... it?
764
00:39:21,401 --> 00:39:22,736
Sure. I'm a good reader.
765
00:39:22,736 --> 00:39:26,281
I got a perfect score
on the verbal section of the SAT.
766
00:39:26,281 --> 00:39:27,949
Zero on the math, though.
767
00:39:27,949 --> 00:39:30,786
They say it's never been done
before or since.
768
00:39:30,786 --> 00:39:31,828
Hi, Larry.
769
00:39:31,828 --> 00:39:36,041
Keys on the peg board so you don't pop
the plastic safety bubble.
770
00:39:36,041 --> 00:39:37,918
Thanks for being a hero.
771
00:39:37,918 --> 00:39:39,419
[door closes]
772
00:39:44,299 --> 00:39:47,052
You think you can keep that cop busy
for a couple hours?
773
00:39:47,052 --> 00:39:49,387
They don't call me Wiggles for nothing.
774
00:39:49,387 --> 00:39:53,266
[rock music plays]
775
00:39:53,266 --> 00:39:56,269
Well, I thought they called you Wiggles
'cause you wore wigs.
776
00:39:56,269 --> 00:39:57,979
It's a homonym.
777
00:39:58,980 --> 00:40:00,107
Oh.
778
00:40:01,191 --> 00:40:02,818
You actually thought this was a good idea?
779
00:40:02,818 --> 00:40:04,569
Better than tryin' to hold traffic
for 20 minutes
780
00:40:04,569 --> 00:40:06,363
in a bedazzled butterfly vest? Yeah.
781
00:40:06,363 --> 00:40:08,990
Plus, I know way more
about cops than flagmen.
782
00:40:08,990 --> 00:40:10,367
Excuse me. Hi, Officer.
783
00:40:10,367 --> 00:40:14,037
I'm a US. Congresswoman and I'm on my way
to a very important meeting.
784
00:40:14,037 --> 00:40:17,207
[Southern accent] Ma'am,
I'm in the middle of an investigation.
785
00:40:17,207 --> 00:40:21,294
I'm gonna need you to keep
your head and your arms in the vehicle.
786
00:40:22,379 --> 00:40:24,798
Gloria's gonna need
at least ten minutes in the bank.
787
00:40:24,798 --> 00:40:26,258
How the hell you plannin' on keep...
788
00:40:26,258 --> 00:40:28,343
[Southern accent]
Sir, have you been drinkin'?
789
00:40:30,804 --> 00:40:32,097
Okay, here it is.
790
00:40:32,097 --> 00:40:34,391
You had a large deposit
from an auction house.
791
00:40:34,391 --> 00:40:35,600
Did you sell something recently?
792
00:40:35,600 --> 00:40:39,229
[Spanish accent] My papa died
and we sold off all of his horse statues,
793
00:40:39,229 --> 00:40:41,648
but we only got 25,400.
794
00:40:41,648 --> 00:40:42,732
[chuckles] Okay.
795
00:40:42,732 --> 00:40:47,487
Well, here we go, then.
They accidentally deposited $2,540,000.
796
00:40:47,487 --> 00:40:48,947
How is that even possible?
797
00:40:48,947 --> 00:40:50,448
Probably a sticky zero key.
798
00:40:50,448 --> 00:40:51,575
Happened to me once.
799
00:40:51,575 --> 00:40:55,912
I accidentally sent my sister
a gift card for $500 instead of 50.
800
00:40:55,912 --> 00:40:57,164
Still didn't get a thank you.
801
00:40:57,164 --> 00:40:58,248
Oh.
802
00:41:00,959 --> 00:41:03,628
I like your tie, Daddy.
803
00:41:03,628 --> 00:41:08,091
[whispers] I'd like it even more
balled up in my mouth.
804
00:41:08,091 --> 00:41:10,510
[chuckles]
805
00:41:10,510 --> 00:41:13,722
Barb. Oh...
806
00:41:13,722 --> 00:41:15,807
Wow, you look, uh...
807
00:41:15,807 --> 00:41:18,727
Just like I did that time
we got busy in the bathroom?
808
00:41:18,727 --> 00:41:21,313
Allegheny Airlines flight 853 to Scranton.
809
00:41:21,313 --> 00:41:24,149
Short flight, but a long ride,
as I recall.
810
00:41:24,149 --> 00:41:26,276
I can still feel the turbulence.
So naughty!
811
00:41:26,276 --> 00:41:30,238
You're the naughty one
with that sexy call...
812
00:41:30,238 --> 00:41:31,865
Oh, my God.
813
00:41:31,865 --> 00:41:33,909
I can see the nipple ring.
814
00:41:33,909 --> 00:41:37,704
I saw a bump under your shirt before,
but I just thought you had tall moles.
815
00:41:37,704 --> 00:41:39,414
I'm going to call the auction house.
816
00:41:39,414 --> 00:41:43,960
How about you take me into the vault
and put a huge deposit into my box.
817
00:41:43,960 --> 00:41:45,712
You know, like a safety deposit...
818
00:41:45,712 --> 00:41:47,214
No, I got it. Um...
819
00:41:47,214 --> 00:41:49,466
I need to speak to somebody
in the accounting department.
820
00:41:49,466 --> 00:41:53,136
Look, uh, I'm in the middle
of a situation here with a customer.
821
00:41:53,136 --> 00:41:54,262
I knew it.
822
00:41:55,138 --> 00:41:57,098
Pierce all the nipples you want,
823
00:41:57,098 --> 00:41:59,809
you're still
a boring bean-counter at heart.
824
00:41:59,809 --> 00:42:01,061
Uh, Barb, wait.
825
00:42:01,061 --> 00:42:03,104
You know, you talk a big game, Stan,
826
00:42:03,104 --> 00:42:05,607
but when it comes down to it,
you're not spontaneous.
827
00:42:05,607 --> 00:42:09,069
I can't be with a man who thinks
with his calculator instead of his pecker.
828
00:42:09,069 --> 00:42:09,986
[Wiggles] Hello?
829
00:42:09,986 --> 00:42:13,490
I'm going to put you on the phone
with the bank manager, Donna.
830
00:42:13,490 --> 00:42:14,991
He's going to save your job.
831
00:42:14,991 --> 00:42:16,993
It's Donna from the auction house.
832
00:42:16,993 --> 00:42:18,912
They're having a problem
with their hold music.
833
00:42:18,912 --> 00:42:20,455
It's bleeding into the call.
834
00:42:20,455 --> 00:42:22,832
[grunts] Barb, ten minutes, please.
835
00:42:22,832 --> 00:42:24,292
I'll give you three.
836
00:42:24,292 --> 00:42:27,545
And then all this yumminess
walks out for good.
837
00:42:29,422 --> 00:42:31,800
Hello, this is Stan O'Malley,
Semi-Regional Manager,
838
00:42:31,800 --> 00:42:33,093
Second Union Trust.
839
00:42:33,093 --> 00:42:35,887
Hi. Lucia just explained
the mistake I made,
840
00:42:35,887 --> 00:42:38,848
and I'm hoping we can fix it
before my boss finds out
841
00:42:38,848 --> 00:42:39,933
and I get into a lot of trouble.
842
00:42:39,933 --> 00:42:41,893
Yep. Yeah, sounds good.
843
00:42:41,893 --> 00:42:45,313
Uh, let's punch some numbers
and get it done.
844
00:42:49,651 --> 00:42:52,946
[Southern accent] All right, sir,
I'm gonna need you to stand on one foot
845
00:42:52,946 --> 00:42:55,907
and say the alphabet backwards,
startin' from the letter T.
846
00:42:55,907 --> 00:42:57,867
[chuckles]
847
00:42:57,867 --> 00:42:59,369
[indistinct radio transmission]
848
00:42:59,369 --> 00:43:01,329
T... S... R...
849
00:43:01,329 --> 00:43:03,248
- Backwards!
- [groans]
850
00:43:03,248 --> 00:43:04,958
That was backwards, asshole!
851
00:43:04,958 --> 00:43:06,084
- [siren wailing]
- [grunts]
852
00:43:06,084 --> 00:43:09,504
Still think stealin' a cop car
was a good idea?
853
00:43:09,504 --> 00:43:11,798
- [siren wailing]
- [Jack] Freeze.
854
00:43:13,925 --> 00:43:15,218
[brakes screech]
855
00:43:18,096 --> 00:43:22,267
We got a high-speed chase coming this way
and we need help setting up a roadblock!
856
00:43:23,893 --> 00:43:25,228
Come on, let's go!
857
00:43:25,228 --> 00:43:27,689
Duty calls.
I gotta help my boys in khaki.
858
00:43:27,689 --> 00:43:30,066
Put your hands on the hood
till I get back.
859
00:43:32,319 --> 00:43:35,864
[siren wailing]
860
00:43:37,407 --> 00:43:41,953
[Wiggles]
Four, three, seven, two, five, one.
861
00:43:41,953 --> 00:43:42,996
[Stan]
Okay, got it.
862
00:43:42,996 --> 00:43:44,956
And you're sure
you don't want me to deposit it
863
00:43:44,956 --> 00:43:46,791
into the same account
it came from?
864
00:43:48,460 --> 00:43:51,171
I think you said it needed
to go to accounts receivable
865
00:43:51,171 --> 00:43:53,298
so your boss doesn't find out, right?
866
00:43:53,298 --> 00:43:55,258
Yes, right.
867
00:43:55,258 --> 00:43:56,301
What she said.
868
00:43:56,301 --> 00:43:58,595
[man]
Come on, face forward.
869
00:43:58,595 --> 00:44:00,555
[Wiggles]
Oh, shit. I gotta go. Uh...
870
00:44:00,555 --> 00:44:02,891
My boss is coming.
Thank you so much.
871
00:44:06,686 --> 00:44:10,023
Let's go! I've got a very important
meeting about the Covid vaccine.
872
00:44:10,023 --> 00:44:13,443
If I'm late, Bernie's gonna give away
free college tuition with every shot.
873
00:44:13,443 --> 00:44:17,113
Yeah, uh, listen...
the cop was right.
874
00:44:17,113 --> 00:44:18,031
I have been drinking.
875
00:44:18,031 --> 00:44:18,948
It's 9:00 in the morning.
876
00:44:18,948 --> 00:44:21,201
Well, I was nervous
to meet a congresswoman.
877
00:44:21,201 --> 00:44:23,411
So when Collin asked me to cover for him,
I had a few pops.
878
00:44:23,411 --> 00:44:24,329
And some Vicodin.
879
00:44:24,329 --> 00:44:26,998
You know, if I just walk around
for eight minutes or so,
880
00:44:26,998 --> 00:44:30,794
I can clear my head and then
I can get back behind the wheel.
881
00:44:30,794 --> 00:44:32,670
Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
882
00:44:32,670 --> 00:44:33,588
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
883
00:44:33,588 --> 00:44:34,506
What are you doin'?
884
00:44:34,506 --> 00:44:35,924
Screw it.
I'm driving left-footed.
885
00:44:35,924 --> 00:44:36,883
- No. No.
- Wait, don't.
886
00:44:36,883 --> 00:44:38,468
I cannot allow you to endanger yourself.
887
00:44:38,468 --> 00:44:39,511
My son adorns you,
888
00:44:39,511 --> 00:44:42,263
and Congress needs someone
who'll stick up for large corporations.
889
00:44:42,263 --> 00:44:44,933
Look, I'll just look for reception.
890
00:44:44,933 --> 00:44:47,435
You stay in the car.
There's lots of bears in the area.
891
00:44:47,435 --> 00:44:49,312
They can smell your broken foot!
892
00:44:50,313 --> 00:44:53,191
Typically, corporate frowns upon
overriding the transfer limit,
893
00:44:53,191 --> 00:44:55,402
but in time-sensitive matters...
894
00:44:57,904 --> 00:44:59,739
...it's not a problem.
895
00:44:59,739 --> 00:45:02,867
Okay, transfer is complete.
896
00:45:02,867 --> 00:45:04,327
Have a great day.
897
00:45:06,329 --> 00:45:09,290
Do I have 30 seconds to splash
a little water on my nether region?
898
00:45:09,290 --> 00:45:12,460
The scooter ride to work in humidity
really took its toll.
899
00:45:12,460 --> 00:45:14,754
Make it quick.
And hit the pits, too.
900
00:45:14,754 --> 00:45:16,047
Okay.
901
00:45:16,047 --> 00:45:17,590
[groans]
902
00:45:17,590 --> 00:45:19,551
[Southern accent]
Never learn, son.
903
00:45:19,551 --> 00:45:24,431
That's the shit we train for! [laughs]
Who's with me? [laughs]
904
00:45:24,431 --> 00:45:26,808
- Hey! Get over here!
- Hey!
905
00:45:28,059 --> 00:45:30,728
[suspenseful music plays]
906
00:45:36,985 --> 00:45:38,445
[grunting]
907
00:45:38,445 --> 00:45:39,362
[farts]
908
00:45:39,362 --> 00:45:40,280
Sorry.
909
00:45:40,280 --> 00:45:41,364
It happens.
910
00:45:42,866 --> 00:45:45,869
[siren wailing]
911
00:45:47,412 --> 00:45:49,247
[tires screech]
912
00:45:49,247 --> 00:45:51,291
Get in.
Wiggles can't wiggle forever.
913
00:45:51,291 --> 00:45:53,084
I thought they called her that
'cause she wore wigs.
914
00:45:53,084 --> 00:45:55,253
- It's a homo-limb.
- Ah.
915
00:45:55,253 --> 00:45:57,338
[siren wailing]
916
00:45:57,338 --> 00:46:01,009
Show... me... the money.
917
00:46:06,222 --> 00:46:07,891
[phone rings]
918
00:46:07,891 --> 00:46:08,808
Oh, oh, oh...
919
00:46:08,808 --> 00:46:10,101
Did we do it?
920
00:46:10,101 --> 00:46:11,019
Yes!
921
00:46:11,019 --> 00:46:13,146
- Yes! Yes!
- Yes! Yes!
922
00:46:13,146 --> 00:46:14,230
[laughs] Yes!
923
00:46:14,230 --> 00:46:16,149
[Barb]
Yes! Yes!
924
00:46:16,149 --> 00:46:19,903
[Stan, sing-songy] Yes!
925
00:46:19,903 --> 00:46:22,155
[phone chiming]
926
00:46:22,155 --> 00:46:25,033
[laughs] Oh, yes!
927
00:46:25,033 --> 00:46:26,117
[phone chiming]
928
00:46:26,242 --> 00:46:27,118
No.
929
00:46:27,118 --> 00:46:28,077
[phone chiming]
930
00:46:28,077 --> 00:46:28,995
No.
931
00:46:28,995 --> 00:46:29,913
[phone chiming]
932
00:46:29,913 --> 00:46:31,831
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
933
00:46:31,831 --> 00:46:33,291
[phone rings]
934
00:46:33,291 --> 00:46:34,584
Your father's an asshole!
935
00:46:34,584 --> 00:46:37,045
[Collin]
That's not my father! It's the FBI!
936
00:46:37,045 --> 00:46:37,962
They came to my house!
937
00:46:37,962 --> 00:46:41,257
They said something about tax fraud and
you hiding money in a secret bank account.
938
00:46:41,257 --> 00:46:43,301
- You need to...
- [Brett grunts]
939
00:46:43,301 --> 00:46:46,095
I'm coming!
I have to do this first!
940
00:46:46,095 --> 00:46:47,138
They're on to me.
941
00:46:47,138 --> 00:46:49,516
The bank...
the feds must have seized my assets.
942
00:46:49,516 --> 00:46:52,435
[siren wailing]
943
00:46:52,435 --> 00:46:53,520
[whispers]
Deep state.
944
00:46:53,520 --> 00:46:55,438
They even know how you lied
to your housekeeper about
945
00:46:55,438 --> 00:46:56,773
paying for her kid's college.
946
00:46:56,773 --> 00:47:00,193
Stop talking!
Deep state is listening!
947
00:47:00,193 --> 00:47:03,279
[siren wailing]
948
00:47:08,576 --> 00:47:12,163
- Whoo!
- Whoo!
949
00:47:18,670 --> 00:47:20,588
[♪ "Groove Is in the Heart"
by Deee-Lite plays]
950
00:47:22,006 --> 00:47:23,758
Hey!
951
00:47:23,758 --> 00:47:26,177
Hello! Guess who stole a cop car today!
952
00:47:26,177 --> 00:47:28,388
- What?!
- This animal stole a cop car!
953
00:47:28,388 --> 00:47:29,430
Worked like a charm!
954
00:47:29,430 --> 00:47:31,266
- Like a charm!
- Like a charm!
955
00:47:31,266 --> 00:47:32,642
I can't believe we pulled this off!
956
00:47:32,642 --> 00:47:34,018
What do you mean
you can't believe we pulled this off?
957
00:47:34,018 --> 00:47:35,186
You told me you were sure
it was gonna work.
958
00:47:35,186 --> 00:47:36,521
- I lied!
- You lied?!
959
00:47:36,521 --> 00:47:37,814
- I lied!
- She lied!
960
00:47:37,814 --> 00:47:38,731
[all laugh]
961
00:47:38,731 --> 00:47:42,360
Well, let's just say
I did not penalize Stan
962
00:47:42,360 --> 00:47:45,154
for his early withdrawal!
963
00:47:45,154 --> 00:47:46,281
[all] Oh!
964
00:47:46,281 --> 00:47:49,158
[♪ "Groove Is in the Heart"
by Deee-Lite plays louder]
965
00:47:59,586 --> 00:48:01,754
[all]
You can read!
966
00:48:03,798 --> 00:48:05,800
[♪ "Groove Is in the Heart"
by Deee-Lite continues]
967
00:49:09,405 --> 00:49:13,284
You have made my day.
That's so wonderful you're coming.
968
00:49:13,284 --> 00:49:14,619
I know, right?
969
00:49:14,619 --> 00:49:16,704
But I'm driving,
so it'll be about a week.
970
00:49:16,704 --> 00:49:20,375
Don't go through Missouri.
It's a dangerous shithole. Just go around.
971
00:49:21,334 --> 00:49:24,420
A Waffle House cook
flirted with me outside of St. Louis.
972
00:49:24,420 --> 00:49:27,632
Your father thinks he was
in a human trafficking gang.
973
00:49:27,632 --> 00:49:29,342
- His tattoos told a story.
- [sighs]
974
00:49:29,342 --> 00:49:32,387
Jack, take I-40
if you want your woman alive.
975
00:49:32,387 --> 00:49:35,973
Well, actually,
I don't know if Gloria's comin' or not.
976
00:49:35,973 --> 00:49:37,183
I still haven't asked her.
977
00:49:37,183 --> 00:49:39,435
Son, you have to nut up.
978
00:49:39,435 --> 00:49:41,020
- What?
- Nut up.
979
00:49:41,020 --> 00:49:42,647
I heard it on a TV program.
980
00:49:42,647 --> 00:49:44,023
Uh, well, okay.
981
00:49:44,023 --> 00:49:45,566
I mean, I'm trying.
982
00:49:45,566 --> 00:49:48,361
But every time I look her in the eye,
I chicken out.
983
00:49:48,361 --> 00:49:52,323
Talking was a lot easier when we could
just whisper things through the toilet.
984
00:49:52,323 --> 00:49:55,868
Son, if you don't find a way
to ask this girl to come with you,
985
00:49:55,868 --> 00:49:59,414
you are going to lose her forever,
so nut up.
986
00:49:59,414 --> 00:50:00,373
Please stop saying that.
987
00:50:00,373 --> 00:50:02,250
[knocking on door]
988
00:50:02,250 --> 00:50:05,169
Hey, I'll call you back when
I know more details. I love you both.
989
00:50:05,169 --> 00:50:06,879
We love you, too,
Jackie boy.
990
00:50:06,879 --> 00:50:09,215
Love you, son.
[whispers] Avoid Missouri.
991
00:50:10,717 --> 00:50:12,135
What's this?
992
00:50:12,135 --> 00:50:14,971
Everything you need
to start your new life.
993
00:50:14,971 --> 00:50:17,890
A driver's license, passport,
Social Security number,
994
00:50:17,890 --> 00:50:19,976
a teaching certificate...
the works.
995
00:50:20,810 --> 00:50:22,145
Whoa.
996
00:50:23,563 --> 00:50:25,815
I thought you said
this was gonna take a while.
997
00:50:27,108 --> 00:50:30,820
Well, I couldn't let you be someone else
before I got what I needed from Jack.
998
00:50:30,820 --> 00:50:33,281
Nice to meet you, Rick Ensor.
999
00:50:34,407 --> 00:50:36,492
Nice to meet me, too.
1000
00:50:36,492 --> 00:50:38,369
Rick Enzzer.
1001
00:50:38,369 --> 00:50:39,287
En-sor.
1002
00:50:39,954 --> 00:50:42,582
I'll have to nail that down
before I get to San Diego.
1003
00:50:45,126 --> 00:50:48,087
Yeah, San Diego.
1004
00:50:50,173 --> 00:50:51,549
You're gonna be a great teacher.
1005
00:50:51,549 --> 00:50:53,259
Thanks.
1006
00:50:53,259 --> 00:50:55,553
And you're gonna be great in, uh...
1007
00:50:55,553 --> 00:50:56,679
Where'd you say you were going again?
1008
00:50:56,679 --> 00:50:57,764
I'm thinking Miami.
1009
00:50:57,764 --> 00:50:59,599
Oh, Miami.
1010
00:51:00,808 --> 00:51:02,435
The grapefruit city.
1011
00:51:02,435 --> 00:51:04,645
Swim town.
1012
00:51:04,645 --> 00:51:06,731
The party in America's basement.
1013
00:51:06,731 --> 00:51:11,194
They don't call it any of those things,
but yeah, the beaches, the nightlife...
1014
00:51:11,194 --> 00:51:13,362
I've got some leads on
some wealthy marks I can work.
1015
00:51:13,362 --> 00:51:16,949
It's kind of been my dream to live there.
1016
00:51:17,950 --> 00:51:21,162
Yeah. Okay. Well, cool.
1017
00:51:22,163 --> 00:51:23,790
That sounds like a plan.
1018
00:51:23,790 --> 00:51:24,832
Mm-hmm.
1019
00:51:26,125 --> 00:51:27,168
Or...
1020
00:51:28,169 --> 00:51:29,212
Or... what?
1021
00:51:29,212 --> 00:51:34,342
Or... lando is also
a lovely place to live in Florida.
1022
00:51:34,342 --> 00:51:38,471
But then I figured Miami's better,
so I stopped myself from saying it.
1023
00:51:38,471 --> 00:51:39,764
[chuckles]
1024
00:51:41,182 --> 00:51:42,892
Right.
1025
00:51:42,892 --> 00:51:45,812
Well, I gotta start packing.
1026
00:51:48,689 --> 00:51:50,691
[slow instrumental music plays]
1027
00:52:12,797 --> 00:52:15,049
Hey, boo, you there?
1028
00:52:19,595 --> 00:52:22,348
Yeah. Yeah, Papi, I'm here.
1029
00:52:22,348 --> 00:52:24,559
I was just thinkin'...
1030
00:52:24,559 --> 00:52:26,686
I know Miami is your dream
1031
00:52:26,686 --> 00:52:30,231
with all the nightlife and, uh, fish,
I think you said.
1032
00:52:30,231 --> 00:52:32,316
You wanna come with me?
1033
00:52:32,316 --> 00:52:35,194
[stammers]
1034
00:52:35,194 --> 00:52:36,112
Is that crazy?
1035
00:52:36,112 --> 00:52:38,531
No. I just...
1036
00:52:38,531 --> 00:52:39,740
I wasn't expecting you...
1037
00:52:39,740 --> 00:52:41,868
I should have said something earlier,
but this is hard,
1038
00:52:41,868 --> 00:52:44,287
and I don't know why
because we talk about other things,
1039
00:52:44,287 --> 00:52:46,956
but I don't know, this is...
1040
00:52:46,956 --> 00:52:48,040
This is, um...
1041
00:52:48,040 --> 00:52:50,543
It's weird. I hear you.
1042
00:52:50,543 --> 00:52:51,794
This wall helps.
1043
00:52:51,794 --> 00:52:54,130
Oh, no, it's a godsend.
[chuckles]
1044
00:52:54,130 --> 00:52:56,799
Look, I think we make
a pretty good team.
1045
00:52:56,799 --> 00:52:59,427
And not just with crime.
1046
00:52:59,427 --> 00:53:01,804
Even though it never happened,
1047
00:53:01,804 --> 00:53:04,599
the night we slept together
was pretty great.
1048
00:53:05,600 --> 00:53:08,561
I-I thought so, too.
I just wasn't...
1049
00:53:08,561 --> 00:53:11,731
It was the best thing
that never happened to me in my life.
1050
00:53:11,731 --> 00:53:13,482
It was great.
1051
00:53:13,482 --> 00:53:17,278
Look, I know I keep thinking,
yes, Miami is the dream,
1052
00:53:17,278 --> 00:53:20,990
but maybe the dream
is just missing something, you know?
1053
00:53:20,990 --> 00:53:24,035
Unless you came... a while.
1054
00:53:31,626 --> 00:53:33,419
Tap, tap. Is this thing on?
1055
00:53:33,419 --> 00:53:35,504
Yes, it is.
1056
00:53:37,089 --> 00:53:38,090
[sighs]
1057
00:53:39,800 --> 00:53:41,093
You'd have a blast.
1058
00:53:42,094 --> 00:53:46,432
We could keep ripping off bad people
and giving free stuff to nice people.
1059
00:53:46,432 --> 00:53:47,350
I love that.
1060
00:53:48,351 --> 00:53:49,810
Yeah, we could.
1061
00:53:51,854 --> 00:53:53,439
It's just...
1062
00:53:53,439 --> 00:53:56,359
Well, there's my parents and teaching...
1063
00:53:57,902 --> 00:54:00,613
And I'm not a criminal.
1064
00:54:00,613 --> 00:54:03,115
What if you came with me
to San Diego?
1065
00:54:03,115 --> 00:54:08,287
You might also love
not doing crime... perhaps.
1066
00:54:09,872 --> 00:54:10,873
You know? [chuckles]
1067
00:54:13,876 --> 00:54:15,419
Tap, tap, tap.
1068
00:54:17,380 --> 00:54:21,175
So I'd be your girlfriend
and we would double-date
1069
00:54:21,175 --> 00:54:23,344
with your parents
to early bird dinners?
1070
00:54:23,344 --> 00:54:28,265
[chuckles] Well, I don't know
if it'd be that glamorous, but yeah.
1071
00:54:35,564 --> 00:54:36,649
I think...
1072
00:54:40,486 --> 00:54:43,656
I think you deserve to live the life
that you've been dreaming of.
1073
00:54:44,657 --> 00:54:46,826
And I deserve to live my dreams, too.
1074
00:54:51,414 --> 00:54:52,915
And it sounds like maybe...
1075
00:54:54,041 --> 00:54:56,377
Maybe our dreams are a little bit too...
1076
00:54:58,004 --> 00:54:58,838
Different.
1077
00:55:03,384 --> 00:55:05,386
[sighs]
1078
00:55:08,639 --> 00:55:10,558
Hey, before we take off,
1079
00:55:10,558 --> 00:55:12,893
there is one more fun thing
we should do together.
1080
00:55:13,978 --> 00:55:16,689
Oh. Okay. Uh...
1081
00:55:16,689 --> 00:55:18,524
You want me to come over there
or should I just try to force it through?
1082
00:55:18,524 --> 00:55:20,359
No, no, not that.
1083
00:55:20,359 --> 00:55:21,861
At least not yet.
1084
00:55:22,987 --> 00:55:25,281
We have some
unfinished business first.
1085
00:55:25,281 --> 00:55:27,366
[upbeat music plays]
1086
00:55:33,789 --> 00:55:34,790
[sighs]
1087
00:55:42,631 --> 00:55:45,009
Paco. You won the contest.
1088
00:55:45,009 --> 00:55:47,428
You won the contest!
1089
00:55:47,428 --> 00:55:51,223
And there's a check in here
for $10,000! [laughs]
1090
00:55:51,223 --> 00:55:53,768
That says $100,000!
1091
00:55:53,768 --> 00:55:59,398
[gasps] $100,000!
Ay, Dios mio! Oh!
1092
00:55:59,398 --> 00:56:04,153
This is why we pray, Paco.
This is why we pray.
1093
00:56:09,283 --> 00:56:10,951
Melvin, thanks for driving.
1094
00:56:10,951 --> 00:56:11,869
You're a good friend, Melvin.
1095
00:56:11,869 --> 00:56:14,497
Yeah, yeah. This is bullshit.
1096
00:56:14,497 --> 00:56:19,293
What kind of God allows you people
to steal my money and my toilet paper,
1097
00:56:19,293 --> 00:56:22,713
steal my girl, jack up my truck
using it to kidnap a man,
1098
00:56:22,713 --> 00:56:27,134
and then that same guy makes you all rich
with a winning goddamn lotto ticket?
1099
00:56:27,134 --> 00:56:31,347
Well, he works in mysterious ways,
but you bring up a good point.
1100
00:56:31,347 --> 00:56:32,473
I'll pay for gas.
1101
00:56:32,473 --> 00:56:34,308
Oh, you're payin' for more than gas.
1102
00:56:34,308 --> 00:56:37,186
You're payin' for meals,
hotels, and snacks.
1103
00:56:37,186 --> 00:56:38,938
I like a premium nut mix.
1104
00:56:38,938 --> 00:56:40,356
[clicks tongue]
1105
00:56:40,356 --> 00:56:41,774
So nice to meet you.
1106
00:56:41,774 --> 00:56:44,610
Thank you for being such a great partner
to my celly and friend.
1107
00:56:44,610 --> 00:56:47,905
I hope someday I can find a love
as great as you two have.
1108
00:56:47,905 --> 00:56:49,406
Ah, you will, Jeff.
1109
00:56:49,406 --> 00:56:51,700
I don't like white guys,
but some people still do.
1110
00:56:51,700 --> 00:56:54,286
So... hang in there.
1111
00:56:57,498 --> 00:56:59,667
Rooster. I'm gonna miss you, man.
1112
00:56:59,667 --> 00:57:02,044
You're like my brother
from another mother.
1113
00:57:02,044 --> 00:57:05,589
Which is good 'cause my brothers
from my actual mother were psychopaths
1114
00:57:05,589 --> 00:57:08,008
who tried to feed me
cigarette butts in my sleep.
1115
00:57:08,008 --> 00:57:10,386
Well, I'm glad
we're better brothers than that.
1116
00:57:11,887 --> 00:57:12,721
Barb.
1117
00:57:12,721 --> 00:57:14,640
I know.
1118
00:57:14,640 --> 00:57:15,766
Thank you for everything.
1119
00:57:17,017 --> 00:57:18,811
Two and a half decades,
I lived in a jungle.
1120
00:57:18,811 --> 00:57:19,728
[Barb] Hmm.
1121
00:57:19,728 --> 00:57:22,690
For the first time in ages, you gave me
a chance to live in a loving home.
1122
00:57:23,816 --> 00:57:28,654
Of all the stray mutts and wounded birds
Rooster's brought home,
1123
00:57:28,654 --> 00:57:30,447
you two were my favorite.
1124
00:57:30,447 --> 00:57:31,365
Come here.
1125
00:57:33,701 --> 00:57:36,328
If you ever get sick of your real family,
1126
00:57:36,328 --> 00:57:39,623
just know you got another one
right here waitin' for ya.
1127
00:57:39,623 --> 00:57:41,417
My door's always open.
1128
00:57:41,417 --> 00:57:44,086
If it isn't,
clearly you can just break in.
1129
00:57:44,086 --> 00:57:45,921
Yeah.
1130
00:57:45,921 --> 00:57:47,214
Go on.
1131
00:57:50,134 --> 00:57:52,052
- Hey.
- Hey.
1132
00:57:56,265 --> 00:57:57,433
What's this?
1133
00:57:57,433 --> 00:58:00,144
For the road.
1134
00:58:06,108 --> 00:58:07,151
[sighs]
1135
00:58:08,235 --> 00:58:09,403
[sighs]
1136
00:58:10,529 --> 00:58:11,906
- [Gloria sighs]
- [engine starts]
1137
00:58:13,741 --> 00:58:16,744
[♪ "Better Things"
by The Kinks plays]
1138
00:58:31,759 --> 00:58:33,010
A spiral staircase?
1139
00:58:33,010 --> 00:58:34,845
It's a condo you share
with old people, Jack.
1140
00:58:34,845 --> 00:58:36,305
You tryin' to get somebody killed?
1141
00:58:36,305 --> 00:58:38,390
Good lookin' out.
1142
00:58:40,559 --> 00:58:44,480
[♪ "Better Things"
by The Kinks continues]
1143
00:58:44,480 --> 00:58:47,399
[man on PA] Flight 234 to Miami
is now boarding.
1144
00:59:01,664 --> 00:59:02,706
Jack.
1145
00:59:02,706 --> 00:59:04,750
- Jack!
- Jack!
1146
00:59:14,760 --> 00:59:20,015
[no audio]
1147
00:59:25,646 --> 00:59:28,107
[♪ "Better Things"
by The Kinks continues]
1148
01:00:03,684 --> 01:00:06,687
[no audio]
1149
01:00:14,486 --> 01:00:16,530
[♪ "Better Things"
by The Kinks continues]
1150
01:00:20,951 --> 01:00:25,080
[no audio]
1151
01:00:50,189 --> 01:00:52,441
[no audio]
1152
01:01:14,421 --> 01:01:16,173
[♪ "Better Things"
by The Kinks continues]
1153
01:02:22,281 --> 01:02:24,283
[♪ "Better Things"
by The Kinks continues]
1154
01:02:42,092 --> 01:02:45,012
{\an8}[♪ "Talk About the Good Times"
by Jerry Reed plays]
92556
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