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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org 2 00:01:19,663 --> 00:01:24,334 Once upon a time in a kingdom far, far away, 3 00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:27,963 the king and queen were blessed with a beautiful baby girl. 4 00:01:28,714 --> 00:01:31,425 And throughout the land, everyone was happy 5 00:01:32,718 --> 00:01:34,553 until the sun went down 6 00:01:34,636 --> 00:01:38,640 and they saw that their daughter was cursed with a frightful enchantment 7 00:01:38,724 --> 00:01:41,435 that took hold each and every night. 8 00:01:43,562 --> 00:01:47,107 Desperate, they sought the help of a fairy godmother 9 00:01:47,190 --> 00:01:49,985 who had them lock the young Princess away in a tower, 10 00:01:50,068 --> 00:01:53,614 there to await the kiss of the handsome prince charming. 11 00:01:57,242 --> 00:01:59,536 It was he who would chance the perilous journey 12 00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:02,831 through blistering cold and scorching desert, 13 00:02:02,914 --> 00:02:05,250 tra veling for many days and nights, 14 00:02:05,334 --> 00:02:07,085 risking life and limb 15 00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:10,380 to reach the dragon is keep. 16 00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:17,304 For he was the bravest 17 00:02:18,180 --> 00:02:20,432 and most handsome... 18 00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:25,228 In all the land. 19 00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:28,273 And it was destiny that his kiss 20 00:02:29,399 --> 00:02:32,361 would break the dreaded curse. 21 00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:37,574 He alone would climb to the highest room of the tallest tower 22 00:02:38,325 --> 00:02:43,372 to enter the Princess's chambers, cross the room to her sleeping silhouette, 23 00:02:43,455 --> 00:02:45,415 pull back the gossamer curtains to find her... 24 00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:48,292 What? 25 00:02:48,752 --> 00:02:51,797 - Princess Fiona? - No! 26 00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:54,966 Oh, thank heavens. Where is she? 27 00:02:55,050 --> 00:02:56,259 She's on her honeymoon. 28 00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:58,804 Honeymoon? With whom? 29 00:03:13,402 --> 00:03:16,571 J” 80, she said ”what's the problem, baby?”j' 30 00:03:16,655 --> 00:03:20,450 j” what's the problem? I don't know well, maybe I'm in love j” 31 00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:22,994 j” think about it every time / think about it j” 32 00:03:23,078 --> 00:03:25,163 j” can't stop thinking 'bout it p 33 00:03:25,247 --> 00:03:28,667 j” how much longer will it take to cure this? J” 34 00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:32,546 j” just to cure it 'cause / can't ignore it if its love j” 35 00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:37,843 j” makes me wanna turn around and face me but / don't know nothin' 'bout love... j” 36 00:03:41,847 --> 00:03:45,475 J” come on, come on the world will follow alterj” 37 00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:47,394 j” come on, come on j” 38 00:03:47,477 --> 00:03:53,567 j” e verybodyis after love... j” 39 00:03:58,363 --> 00:04:00,615 Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! 40 00:04:04,035 --> 00:04:09,416 J” ll/le/tin' under blue skies belting out sunlight, shimmering love... j” 41 00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:14,629 J” to this strawberry ice cream ne ver-e ver-ender j” 42 00:04:14,713 --> 00:04:16,339 j” all this love j” 43 00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:21,094 j” well, ldidn't mean to do it but there is no escaping your love j” 44 00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:26,850 j” these lines of lightnin' mean we 're never alone j” 45 00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:28,185 j” never alone... j” 46 00:04:30,687 --> 00:04:32,564 J” jump a little higherj” 47 00:04:32,647 --> 00:04:35,984 j” come on, come on if you feel a little lighter... j” 48 00:04:40,739 --> 00:04:41,990 Hi-yah! 49 00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:48,663 J” we 're accidentally in love... j” 50 00:05:03,929 --> 00:05:06,097 J” accidentally in love j” 51 00:05:06,181 --> 00:05:09,267 j” accidentally, I'm in love, I'm in love j” 52 00:05:09,351 --> 00:05:13,063 j” I'm in love, I'm in love I'm in love, I'm in love j” 53 00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:16,733 j” accidentally in love j” 54 00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:20,487 j” I'm in love... j” 55 00:05:22,447 --> 00:05:24,825 It's so good to be home! 56 00:05:25,534 --> 00:05:27,536 Ooh! 57 00:05:27,619 --> 00:05:28,995 Just you and me and... 58 00:05:29,079 --> 00:05:32,207 J” one is the loneliest number that you'll ever do j” 59 00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:36,837 J” two can be as bad as one j” 60 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:37,754 donkey? 61 00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:39,506 Shrek! Fiona! 62 00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:41,716 We", aren't you two a sight for sore eyes! 63 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:43,927 Give us a hug, Shrek, you old love machine. 64 00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:48,473 And look at you, Mrs. Shrek. How about a side of sugar for the steed? 65 00:05:48,557 --> 00:05:50,767 Donkey, what are you doing here? 66 00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:52,894 I was just taking care of your love nest for you. 67 00:05:52,978 --> 00:05:57,649 Oh, you mean like sorting the mail and watering the plants. 68 00:05:57,732 --> 00:05:58,984 Yeah, and feeding the fish. 69 00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:00,318 I don't have any fish. 70 00:06:00,402 --> 00:06:03,530 You do now. I call that one Shrek and the other Fiona. 71 00:06:03,613 --> 00:06:06,032 That Shrek is a rascally devil. Get your... 72 00:06:06,116 --> 00:06:09,160 Oh, will you look at the time. Well, I guess you'd better be going. 73 00:06:09,244 --> 00:06:10,924 Don't you want to tell me about your trip? 74 00:06:10,996 --> 00:06:13,582 Or how about a game of parcheesi? 75 00:06:13,665 --> 00:06:17,586 Actually, donkey? Shouldn't you be getting home to dragon? 76 00:06:17,669 --> 00:06:19,337 Oh, yeah, that. 77 00:06:19,838 --> 00:06:23,425 I don't know. She's been all moody and stuff lately. 78 00:06:23,508 --> 00:06:25,427 So I thought I'd move back in with you guys. 79 00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:28,221 Well, you know we're always happy to see you, donkey. 80 00:06:28,305 --> 00:06:30,932 But Fiona and I are married now. 81 00:06:31,016 --> 00:06:34,185 We need a little time, you know, to be together. 82 00:06:36,438 --> 00:06:37,564 Just with each other. 83 00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:40,901 Alone. 84 00:06:40,984 --> 00:06:43,612 Say no more. You don't have to worry about a thing. 85 00:06:43,695 --> 00:06:46,656 I will always be here to make sure nobody bothers you. 86 00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:48,450 - Donkey! - Yes, roomie? 87 00:06:48,533 --> 00:06:49,868 You're bothering me. 88 00:06:51,036 --> 00:06:54,039 Oh, okay. Uh, all right, cool. I guess, uh... 89 00:06:54,789 --> 00:06:57,626 Me and Pinocchio was just going to try to catch a tournament, anyway. 90 00:06:57,709 --> 00:07:01,713 So, uh, maybe I'll see y'all Sunday for a barbecue or something. 91 00:07:04,716 --> 00:07:08,970 He'll be fine. Now, where were we? 92 00:07:09,054 --> 00:07:12,140 Ooh. I think I remember. 93 00:07:15,226 --> 00:07:16,353 Donkey! 94 00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:19,689 I know, I know! Alone! I'm going! I'm going. 95 00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:21,453 But what do you want me to tell these guys? 96 00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:35,038 Enough, Reggie. 97 00:07:38,667 --> 00:07:41,503 "Dearest Princess Fiona. 98 00:07:41,586 --> 00:07:45,799 You are hereby summoned to the kingdom of far, far away 99 00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:49,803 for a royal ball in celebration of your marriage 100 00:07:49,886 --> 00:07:51,972 at which time the king 101 00:07:52,055 --> 00:07:57,435 will bestow his royal blessing upon you and your, uh... 102 00:07:57,519 --> 00:07:59,312 Uh, prince charming. 103 00:07:59,396 --> 00:08:04,150 Love, the king and queen of far, far away. 104 00:08:04,234 --> 00:08:06,569 Aka mom and dad." 105 00:08:06,653 --> 00:08:08,029 Mom and dad? 106 00:08:08,113 --> 00:08:11,491 - Prince charming? - Royal ball? Can I come? 107 00:08:11,574 --> 00:08:13,368 - We're not going. - What? 108 00:08:13,451 --> 00:08:16,287 I mean, don't you think they might be a bit 109 00:08:16,371 --> 00:08:19,499 shocked to see you like this? 110 00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:22,210 Well, they might be a bit surprised. 111 00:08:22,293 --> 00:08:25,380 But they're my parents, Shrek. They love me. 112 00:08:25,463 --> 00:08:27,674 And don't worry. They're gonna love you too. 113 00:08:27,757 --> 00:08:31,594 Yeah, right. Somehow I don't think I'll be welcome at the country club. 114 00:08:31,678 --> 00:08:33,471 Will you stop it. They're not like that. 115 00:08:33,555 --> 00:08:37,142 Then how do you explain sergeant pompous and the fancy pants club band? 116 00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:40,562 Oh, come on! You could at least give them a chance. 117 00:08:40,645 --> 00:08:42,647 Oh, to do what? Sharpen their pitchforks? 118 00:08:42,731 --> 00:08:45,608 No! They just want to give you their blessing. 119 00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:49,779 Oh, great. Now I need their blessing? 120 00:08:49,863 --> 00:08:52,323 Well, if you want to be a part of this family, yes! 121 00:08:52,407 --> 00:08:54,451 And who says I want to be part of this family? 122 00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:57,537 Uh, you did! When you married me! 123 00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:59,706 Well, there's some fine print for you! 124 00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:02,834 So... so that's it. You won't come? 125 00:09:02,917 --> 00:09:08,006 Trust me. It's a bad idea. We are not going and that's final! 126 00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:12,510 Hey, come on, Shrek! We don't want to hit traffic! 127 00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:17,974 Don't worry! We'll take care of everything. 128 00:09:19,934 --> 00:09:21,061 Hey, wait for me! 129 00:09:28,777 --> 00:09:31,047 J” all right, hit it! Ll/love 'em on! Head 'em up! J” 130 00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:33,198 j” head 'em up, move 'em on! Head 'em up! J” 131 00:09:33,281 --> 00:09:35,742 j” rawhide! Ll/love 'em on! Head 'em up! J” 132 00:09:35,825 --> 00:09:38,119 j” move 'em on! Move 'em on! Head 'em up! Rawhide! J” 133 00:09:38,203 --> 00:09:42,624 j” ride 'em up! Move 'em on! Head 'em up! Move 'em on! Rawhide! J” 134 00:09:42,707 --> 00:09:44,935 j” knock 'em out! Pound 'em dead! Make 'em tea! Buy 'em drinks! J” 135 00:09:44,959 --> 00:09:46,628 j” meet their mamas! Milk 'em hard! J” 136 00:09:46,711 --> 00:09:48,463 j” rawhide! J” 137 00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:50,090 yeehaw! 138 00:09:54,844 --> 00:09:56,805 - Are we there yet? - No. 139 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,727 - Are we there yet? - Not yet. 140 00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:08,691 - Okay, are we there yet? - No. 141 00:10:09,818 --> 00:10:11,378 - Are we there yet? - No! 142 00:10:11,402 --> 00:10:13,404 - Are we there yet? - Yes. 143 00:10:13,488 --> 00:10:15,115 - Really? - No! 144 00:10:15,198 --> 00:10:16,425 - Are we there yet? - No! 145 00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:18,135 - Are we there yet? - No, we are not! 146 00:10:18,159 --> 00:10:20,411 - Are we there yet? - No! 147 00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:23,873 - Are we there yet? - Are we there yet? 148 00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:25,500 That's not funny. 149 00:10:25,583 --> 00:10:27,669 That's really immature. 150 00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:30,421 This is why nobody likes ogres. 151 00:10:30,505 --> 00:10:31,756 All right! Your loss! 152 00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:34,467 - I'm gonna just stop talking! - Finally! 153 00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:38,888 But this is taking forever, Shrek. There ain't no in-flight movie or nothing. 154 00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:43,101 The kingdom of far, far away, donkey. 155 00:10:43,184 --> 00:10:47,313 That's where we're going. Far, far... 156 00:10:47,397 --> 00:10:49,023 Away! 157 00:10:49,107 --> 00:10:52,694 All right, all right, I get it. I'm just so darn bored. 158 00:10:52,777 --> 00:10:55,280 Well, find a way to entertain yourself. 159 00:11:17,927 --> 00:11:20,722 For five minutes, 160 00:11:20,805 --> 00:11:25,310 could you not be yourself for five minutes! 161 00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:34,110 Are we there yet? 162 00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:36,362 - Yes! - Oh, finally! 163 00:11:48,666 --> 00:11:50,668 Wow! 164 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:55,840 It's going to be champagne wishes and caviar dreams from now on. 165 00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:59,260 Hey, good looking! We'll be back to pick you up later! 166 00:11:59,344 --> 00:12:01,804 - Star maps! Get your star maps! - Ooh, panty hose! 167 00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:10,521 We are definitely not in the swamp anymore. 168 00:12:12,607 --> 00:12:13,608 Halt. 169 00:12:14,943 --> 00:12:20,198 J” well, / talk about it, talk about it talk about it, talk about it... j” 170 00:12:22,116 --> 00:12:23,493 hey, everyone look! 171 00:12:34,796 --> 00:12:39,175 Hey, ladies! Nice day for a parade, huh? Yeah. You working that hat. 172 00:12:47,183 --> 00:12:50,144 Swimming pools! Movie stars! 173 00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:28,349 Announcing the long-awaited return 174 00:13:28,433 --> 00:13:32,937 of the beautiful Princess Fiona and her new husband. 175 00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:36,482 Well, this is it. 176 00:13:36,566 --> 00:13:38,526 - This is it. - This is it. 177 00:13:38,609 --> 00:13:39,819 This is it. 178 00:14:02,091 --> 00:14:05,511 Uh, why don't you guys go ahead? I'll park the car. 179 00:14:09,057 --> 00:14:11,601 So... 180 00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:14,479 You still think this is a good idea? 181 00:14:14,562 --> 00:14:18,983 Of course. Look. Mom and dad look happy to see us. 182 00:14:19,067 --> 00:14:20,985 Who on earth are they? 183 00:14:21,069 --> 00:14:23,071 I think that's our little girl. 184 00:14:23,154 --> 00:14:26,657 That's not little. That's a really big problem. 185 00:14:26,741 --> 00:14:29,911 Wasn't she supposed to kiss prince charming and break the spell? 186 00:14:29,994 --> 00:14:33,373 Well, he's no prince charming, but they do look... 187 00:14:33,456 --> 00:14:37,210 Happy now? We came. We saw them. 188 00:14:37,293 --> 00:14:39,796 Now let's go before they light the torches. 189 00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:43,216 - They're my parents. - Hello, they locked you in a tower. 190 00:14:43,299 --> 00:14:44,550 Hey, that was for my own... 191 00:14:44,634 --> 00:14:48,262 Good! Now here's our chance. Let's go back inside and pretend we're not home. 192 00:14:48,346 --> 00:14:49,806 Harold, we have to be... 193 00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:52,725 Quick! While they're not looking we can make a run for it. 194 00:14:52,809 --> 00:14:54,894 Shrek, stop it! Everything's gonna be... 195 00:14:54,977 --> 00:14:57,313 A disaster! There is no way... 196 00:14:57,397 --> 00:14:59,023 - You can do this. - But I really... 197 00:14:59,107 --> 00:14:59,941 - Really... - Really... 198 00:15:00,024 --> 00:15:01,317 Don't... want... to... be... 199 00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:02,610 Here! 200 00:15:06,197 --> 00:15:07,365 Mom, 201 00:15:07,448 --> 00:15:08,825 dad... 202 00:15:10,326 --> 00:15:13,246 I'd like you to meet my husband, Shrek. 203 00:15:16,541 --> 00:15:17,792 Well, um... 204 00:15:18,292 --> 00:15:23,005 It's easy to see where Fiona gets her good looks from. 205 00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:52,994 Hmm. 206 00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:02,003 Excuse me. 207 00:16:02,086 --> 00:16:04,714 Better out than in, I always say, eh, Fiona? 208 00:16:07,508 --> 00:16:08,968 That's good. 209 00:16:10,178 --> 00:16:11,971 - Uh... - I guess not. 210 00:16:12,054 --> 00:16:13,699 What do you mean, "not on the list“? 211 00:16:13,723 --> 00:16:15,600 Don't tell me you don't know who I am. 212 00:16:15,683 --> 00:16:19,020 Hey, what's happening, everybody? Thanks for waiting. 213 00:16:19,103 --> 00:16:20,664 I had the hardest time finding this place. 214 00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:23,024 No! No! Bad donkey! Bad! Down! 215 00:16:23,107 --> 00:16:26,486 No, no, no, dad. Dad, it's all right. It's all right. He's with us. 216 00:16:26,569 --> 00:16:30,072 - He helped rescue me from the dragon. - Yep, that's me, the noble steed. 217 00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:32,074 Hey, waiter! How about a bowl for the steed? 218 00:16:32,158 --> 00:16:33,242 Oh, boy. 219 00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:38,080 - Um, Shrek? - Yeah? 220 00:16:38,164 --> 00:16:41,626 Oh, sorry! Great soup, Mrs. Q. 221 00:16:41,709 --> 00:16:43,252 - Mmm. - No, no, no. 222 00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:44,545 Darling. 223 00:16:45,796 --> 00:16:47,840 Oh! 224 00:16:49,425 --> 00:16:53,221 So, Fiona, tell us about where you live. 225 00:16:53,304 --> 00:16:57,975 Well, Shrek owns his own land. 226 00:16:58,059 --> 00:17:00,478 - Don't you, honey? - Oh, yes! 227 00:17:00,561 --> 00:17:03,439 It's in an enchanted forest, 228 00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:05,942 abundant in squirrels 229 00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:08,903 and cute little duckies and... 230 00:17:08,986 --> 00:17:11,322 What? I know you ain't talking about the swamp. 231 00:17:11,405 --> 00:17:15,201 - Donkey! - An ogre from a swamp. Oh! How original. 232 00:17:16,244 --> 00:17:19,163 Well, I suppose that would be a fine place to raise the children. 233 00:17:28,839 --> 00:17:32,468 It's a bit early to be thinking about that, isn't it? 234 00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:35,471 - Indeed. I just started eating. - Harold! 235 00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:38,224 - What's that supposed to mean? - Dad. It's great, okay? 236 00:17:38,307 --> 00:17:41,102 - Well, for his type, yes. - My type? 237 00:17:41,185 --> 00:17:43,020 I got to go to the bathroom. 238 00:17:43,104 --> 00:17:46,524 - Dinner is served! - Never mind. I can hold it. 239 00:17:52,363 --> 00:17:56,033 -Bon appétitl -oh, Mexican food! My favorite. 240 00:17:56,117 --> 00:17:59,870 Well, let's not just sit here with our tummies rumbling. Everybody dig in. 241 00:17:59,954 --> 00:18:01,163 Don't mind if! Do, Lillian. 242 00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:05,084 So, I suppose any grandchildren I could expect from you would be... 243 00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:07,003 Ogres, yes! 244 00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:10,548 Not that there's anything wrong with that. Right, Harold? 245 00:18:10,631 --> 00:18:12,508 Oh, no! No! Of course, not! 246 00:18:12,592 --> 00:18:15,678 That is, assuming you don't eat your own young! 247 00:18:17,221 --> 00:18:20,683 We usually prefer the ones who've been locked away in a tower! 248 00:18:21,350 --> 00:18:23,978 - Shrek, please! - I only did that because I love her. 249 00:18:24,061 --> 00:18:26,939 Oh, aye, day care or dragon-guarded castle. 250 00:18:27,023 --> 00:18:29,108 You wouldn't understand. You're not her father! 251 00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:38,117 It's so nice to have the family together for dinner. 252 00:18:41,912 --> 00:18:43,873 - Harold! - Shrek! 253 00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:44,957 - Fiona! - Fiona! 254 00:18:45,041 --> 00:18:46,292 - Mom! - Harold... 255 00:18:46,375 --> 00:18:47,668 Donkey! 256 00:19:50,564 --> 00:19:54,527 J” your fallen tears have called to me j” 257 00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:58,447 j” 80, here comes my sweet remedyj” 258 00:19:59,615 --> 00:20:03,994 j” / know what every Princess needs j” 259 00:20:04,078 --> 00:20:09,542 j” for her to live life happily j” 260 00:20:10,876 --> 00:20:12,586 Oh, my dear. 261 00:20:12,670 --> 00:20:13,963 Oh, look at you. 262 00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:15,840 You're all, um, 263 00:20:15,923 --> 00:20:17,800 grown up. 264 00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:19,719 Um, who are you? 265 00:20:19,802 --> 00:20:21,846 Oh, sweet pea! 266 00:20:21,929 --> 00:20:23,639 I'm your fairy godmother. 267 00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:26,600 I have a fairy godmother? 268 00:20:26,684 --> 00:20:31,147 Now don't worry. I'm here to make it all better. 269 00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:34,525 With just a... 270 00:20:34,608 --> 00:20:38,362 J” wave of my magic wand your troubles will soon be gone j” 271 00:20:38,446 --> 00:20:40,823 j” with a flick of the wrist and just a flash j” 272 00:20:40,906 --> 00:20:43,200 j” you 7! Land a prince with a ton of cash j” 273 00:20:43,284 --> 00:20:45,202 j” a high-priced dress made by mice no less j” 274 00:20:45,286 --> 00:20:47,371 j” some crystal glass pumps and no more stress j” 275 00:20:47,455 --> 00:20:49,535 j” your worries will vanish your soul will cleanse j” 276 00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:51,625 j” confide in your very own furniture friends j” 277 00:20:51,709 --> 00:20:54,253 J” we 7! Help you set a new fashion trend j” 278 00:20:54,336 --> 00:20:55,963 J” ill make you fancyj” 279 00:20:56,046 --> 00:20:57,173 j” ill make you great j” 280 00:20:57,256 --> 00:20:58,984 j” the kind of gal the prince would date! J” 281 00:20:59,008 --> 00:21:01,069 j” they'll write your name on the bathroom wall .. J” 282 00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:03,095 "for a happy ever after, give Fiona a call!" 283 00:21:03,179 --> 00:21:07,183 J” a sporty carriage to ride in style sexy man-Bo y chauffeur, ”kyle ” j” 284 00:21:07,266 --> 00:21:11,103 j” banish your blemishes, tooth decay cellulite thighs will fade away j” 285 00:21:11,187 --> 00:21:13,606 j” and oh, what the hey! Have a bichon frisé! J” 286 00:21:13,689 --> 00:21:15,983 J” nip and tuck, here and there j” 287 00:21:16,066 --> 00:21:17,711 j” to land that prince with the perfect hair j” 288 00:21:17,735 --> 00:21:21,030 j” lipstick liners, shadows blush to get the prince with the sexy tush j” 289 00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:22,615 j” lucky day, hunk bufi'et j” 290 00:21:22,698 --> 00:21:24,176 j” you and your prince take a roll in the ha yj” 291 00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:27,453 j” you can spoon on the moon with the prince to this tune j” 292 00:21:27,536 --> 00:21:30,223 j” don't be drab, you ll be fab your prince will have rock-hard abs j” 293 00:21:30,247 --> 00:21:32,917 j” cheese sou/fie, valentines day have some chicken fricassée! J” 294 00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:34,186 j” nip and tuck, here and there j” 295 00:21:34,210 --> 00:21:35,562 j” to land that prince with the perfect hair j” 296 00:21:35,586 --> 00:21:37,296 stop! 297 00:21:38,005 --> 00:21:39,673 Look... 298 00:21:39,757 --> 00:21:42,301 Thank you very much, fairy godmother, 299 00:21:42,384 --> 00:21:45,221 but I really don't need all this. 300 00:21:47,723 --> 00:21:50,076 - Fine. Be that way. - We didn't like you, anyway. 301 00:21:51,685 --> 00:21:53,646 Fiona? Fiona! 302 00:21:57,358 --> 00:22:00,444 Oh! You got a puppy? All I got in my room was shampoo. 303 00:22:00,528 --> 00:22:01,821 Oh, uh... 304 00:22:02,613 --> 00:22:04,990 Fairy godmother, furniture, 305 00:22:05,741 --> 00:22:07,868 I'd like you to meet my husband, Shrek. 306 00:22:07,952 --> 00:22:11,747 Your husband? What? What did you say? When did this happen? 307 00:22:11,831 --> 00:22:13,624 Shrek is the one who rescued me. 308 00:22:13,707 --> 00:22:15,209 But that can't be right. 309 00:22:15,292 --> 00:22:17,294 Oh, great, more relatives. 310 00:22:17,378 --> 00:22:19,171 She's just trying to help. 311 00:22:19,255 --> 00:22:22,466 Good! She can help us pack. Get your coat, dear. We're leaving. 312 00:22:22,550 --> 00:22:24,260 - What? - Leaving? I don't want to leave. 313 00:22:24,343 --> 00:22:25,719 When did you decide this? 314 00:22:25,803 --> 00:22:26,971 Shortly after arriving. 315 00:22:27,638 --> 00:22:28,806 Look, I... I'm sorry. 316 00:22:28,889 --> 00:22:31,892 No, no, no, no, that's all right. Uh, I need to go, anyway. 317 00:22:31,976 --> 00:22:35,437 But remember, dear. If you should ever need me, 318 00:22:35,521 --> 00:22:38,357 happiness is just a teardrop away. 319 00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:40,943 Thanks, but we've got all the happiness we need. 320 00:22:41,026 --> 00:22:42,903 Happy, happy, happy! 321 00:22:42,987 --> 00:22:44,947 So I see. 322 00:22:45,656 --> 00:22:46,824 Let's go, Kyle. 323 00:22:49,994 --> 00:22:51,328 Very nice, Shrek. 324 00:22:51,412 --> 00:22:54,164 What? I told you coming here was a bad idea. 325 00:22:54,248 --> 00:22:56,917 You could have at least tried to get along with my father. 326 00:22:57,001 --> 00:23:01,422 Somehow I don't think I was gonna get daddy's blessing, even if I did want it. 327 00:23:01,505 --> 00:23:04,967 Do you think it might be nice if somebody asked me what I wanted? 328 00:23:05,050 --> 00:23:08,012 Sure. Do you want me to pack for you? 329 00:23:08,596 --> 00:23:10,306 You're unbelievable! 330 00:23:10,389 --> 00:23:12,683 You're behaving like a... 331 00:23:13,225 --> 00:23:14,560 Go on! Say it! 332 00:23:14,643 --> 00:23:16,061 Like an ogre! 333 00:23:16,145 --> 00:23:17,563 Here's a news flash for you! 334 00:23:17,646 --> 00:23:19,916 Whether your parents like it or not, 335 00:23:19,940 --> 00:23:21,525 I am an ogre! 336 00:23:27,323 --> 00:23:31,160 And guess what, Princess? That's not about to change. 337 00:23:37,124 --> 00:23:41,128 I've made changes for you, Shrek. Think about that. 338 00:23:43,130 --> 00:23:45,007 That's real smooth, Shrek. 339 00:23:45,090 --> 00:23:49,219 "I'm an ogre!" 340 00:24:13,118 --> 00:24:16,455 - I knew this would happen. - You should. You started it. 341 00:24:16,538 --> 00:24:20,584 I can hardly believe that, Lillian. I mean, really. He's the ogre, not me. 342 00:24:20,668 --> 00:24:24,004 I think, Harold, you're taking this a little too personally. 343 00:24:24,088 --> 00:24:25,923 This is Fiona's choice. 344 00:24:26,006 --> 00:24:29,802 Yes, but she was supposed to choose the prince we picked out for her. 345 00:24:29,885 --> 00:24:33,889 I mean, you expect me to give my blessings to this... this thing? 346 00:24:33,973 --> 00:24:37,559 Fiona does. And she'll never forgive you if you don't. 347 00:24:38,185 --> 00:24:41,230 I don't want to lose our daughter again, Harold. 348 00:24:42,690 --> 00:24:45,484 Oh, you act as if love is totally predictable. 349 00:24:45,567 --> 00:24:48,445 Don't you remember when we were young 350 00:24:48,529 --> 00:24:50,948 and, oh, we used to walk down by the Lily pond... 351 00:24:51,031 --> 00:24:52,700 And they were in bloom... 352 00:24:52,783 --> 00:24:54,034 Our first kiss. 353 00:24:54,743 --> 00:24:56,245 It's not the same! 354 00:24:56,328 --> 00:25:00,124 I don't think you realize that our daughter has married a monster! 355 00:25:00,207 --> 00:25:02,501 Oh, stop being such a drama king. 356 00:25:02,584 --> 00:25:04,503 Fine! Fine! Pretend there's nothing wrong! 357 00:25:04,586 --> 00:25:06,213 La-di-da-di-da-di-da! 358 00:25:06,296 --> 00:25:09,925 Isn't it all wonderful? I'd like to know how it could get any worse! 359 00:25:10,009 --> 00:25:11,051 Hello, Harold. 360 00:25:11,135 --> 00:25:12,970 - What happened? - Oh, n-nothing! 361 00:25:13,053 --> 00:25:17,182 Nothing, dear. Just the old, uh, crusade wound playing up a bit. 362 00:25:17,266 --> 00:25:20,102 I'll, um, just stretch it out here for a while. 363 00:25:20,185 --> 00:25:23,230 You better get in. We need to talk. 364 00:25:23,313 --> 00:25:25,983 Actually, fairy godmother, just off to bed. 365 00:25:26,066 --> 00:25:29,319 Already taken my pills, and they tend to make me a bit drowsy. 366 00:25:29,403 --> 00:25:33,032 So, um, how about... We... we make this a quick visit. What? 367 00:25:33,115 --> 00:25:35,826 Oh. Oh, h-hello. 368 00:25:38,704 --> 00:25:40,330 So, what's new? 369 00:25:40,414 --> 00:25:43,500 You remember my son, prince charming? 370 00:25:43,584 --> 00:25:47,629 Charming! Oh, is that you? My gosh! It's been years. 371 00:25:47,713 --> 00:25:49,923 I... when... when did you get back? 372 00:25:50,007 --> 00:25:53,052 Oh, about five minutes ago, actually. 373 00:25:53,135 --> 00:25:56,680 After I endured blistering winds, scorching desert, 374 00:25:56,764 --> 00:25:58,844 I climbed to the highest room in the tallest tower... 375 00:25:58,891 --> 00:26:01,477 Mommy can handle this. 376 00:26:02,436 --> 00:26:06,356 He endures blistering winds and scorching desert! 377 00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:09,610 He climbs to the highest bloody room of the tallest bloody tower! 378 00:26:09,693 --> 00:26:11,612 - But... but... - And what does he find? 379 00:26:11,695 --> 00:26:15,407 Some gender-confused wolf telling him that his Princess... 380 00:26:15,491 --> 00:26:17,367 - If I can just... - Is already married. 381 00:26:17,451 --> 00:26:19,912 It wasn't my fault. He didn't get there in time. 382 00:26:19,995 --> 00:26:21,663 Stop the car! 383 00:26:23,791 --> 00:26:24,833 Harold... 384 00:26:26,168 --> 00:26:30,589 You force me to do something I really don't want to do. 385 00:26:30,672 --> 00:26:32,633 Where are we? 386 00:26:32,716 --> 00:26:35,719 Hi there. Welcome to friar's fat boy. May I take your order? 387 00:26:35,803 --> 00:26:39,389 My diet is ruined! I hope you're happy. 388 00:26:39,473 --> 00:26:42,810 Uh, okay, two renaissance wraps, no Mayo, chili rings... 389 00:26:42,893 --> 00:26:44,311 I'll have the medieval meal. 390 00:26:44,394 --> 00:26:47,147 Yeah, one medieval meal and, Harold, curly fries? 391 00:26:47,231 --> 00:26:49,566 - Uh, no. No, thank you. - Sourdough soft taco, then? 392 00:26:49,650 --> 00:26:51,330 - What do you want? - No, really, I'm fine. 393 00:26:51,360 --> 00:26:52,945 Your order, fairy godmother. 394 00:26:53,028 --> 00:26:55,114 And this comes with the medieval meal. 395 00:26:55,614 --> 00:26:56,824 Here you are, dear. 396 00:26:59,451 --> 00:27:01,411 You see, we made a deal, Harold, 397 00:27:01,495 --> 00:27:04,289 and I assume you don't want me to go back on my part. 398 00:27:04,373 --> 00:27:05,999 Indeed not. 399 00:27:06,083 --> 00:27:09,670 So, Fiona and charming will be together. 400 00:27:09,753 --> 00:27:10,753 Yes. 401 00:27:10,796 --> 00:27:13,715 Oh, believe me, Harold. It's what's best. 402 00:27:13,799 --> 00:27:15,717 Not only for your daughter... 403 00:27:17,344 --> 00:27:19,138 But for your kingdom. 404 00:27:24,017 --> 00:27:26,186 Well, what am I supposed to do about it? 405 00:27:27,479 --> 00:27:29,356 Use your imagination. 406 00:28:07,895 --> 00:28:09,938 Uh, come on in, your majesty. 407 00:28:16,195 --> 00:28:19,031 J” llike my town j” 408 00:28:20,699 --> 00:28:23,869 j” with a little drop of poison j” 409 00:28:25,579 --> 00:28:28,415 j” nobody knows... j” 410 00:28:29,583 --> 00:28:33,253 - Excuse me. - Hey, do I know you? 411 00:28:33,337 --> 00:28:36,715 Uh, no, you must be mistaking me for someone else. 412 00:28:36,798 --> 00:28:40,761 Uh, excuse me. I-I... I'm looking for the ugly stepsister. 413 00:28:42,554 --> 00:28:45,349 Ah, there you are. Right. 414 00:28:45,432 --> 00:28:50,312 Uh, you see, I... I need to have someone taken care of. 415 00:28:50,938 --> 00:28:54,191 - Who's the guy? - Well, he... he's not a guy, per se. 416 00:28:54,274 --> 00:28:56,652 Um, he's an ogre. 417 00:28:59,529 --> 00:29:01,573 Hey, buddy, let me clue you in. 418 00:29:01,657 --> 00:29:04,618 There's only one fellow who can handle a job like that, 419 00:29:04,701 --> 00:29:07,829 and, frankly, he don't like to be disturbed. 420 00:29:07,913 --> 00:29:09,539 Where could I find him? 421 00:29:11,875 --> 00:29:14,211 H-hello? 422 00:29:16,004 --> 00:29:18,090 Who dares enter my room? 423 00:29:18,173 --> 00:29:21,760 Sorry! I... I hope I'm not interrupting, but I'm told you're the one to talk to 424 00:29:21,843 --> 00:29:23,845 about an ogre problem? 425 00:29:23,929 --> 00:29:25,931 You are told correct. 426 00:29:26,014 --> 00:29:29,559 But for this, I charge a great deal of money. 427 00:29:30,102 --> 00:29:32,437 Would this be enough? 428 00:29:38,193 --> 00:29:44,032 Hmm. You have engaged my valuable services, your majesty. 429 00:29:44,116 --> 00:29:47,369 Just tell me where I can find this ogre. 430 00:30:05,846 --> 00:30:11,435 J” everyone says I'm getting down too low... j” 431 00:30:13,353 --> 00:30:18,984 J” everyone says ”you just got to let it go ”j” 432 00:30:20,277 --> 00:30:22,821 j” you just got to let it go j” 433 00:30:32,372 --> 00:30:34,166 J” I need some sleep j” 434 00:30:34,875 --> 00:30:38,128 j” time to put the old horse down j” 435 00:30:40,130 --> 00:30:41,798 j” I'm in too deep j” 436 00:30:42,466 --> 00:30:45,677 j” and the wheels keep spinning 'round j” 437 00:30:47,137 --> 00:30:50,098 j” everyone says j” 438 00:30:50,182 --> 00:30:52,851 j” ”you just got to let it go ”j” 439 00:30:55,771 --> 00:31:00,275 Dear knight, / pray that you take this favor as a token of m y gratitude. 440 00:31:22,714 --> 00:31:24,216 Dear diary, 441 00:31:24,299 --> 00:31:26,885 sleeping beauty is having a slumber party tomorrow 442 00:31:26,968 --> 00:31:28,512 but dad says / can't go. 443 00:31:28,595 --> 00:31:30,764 He never lets me out after sunset. 444 00:31:31,556 --> 00:31:33,767 Dad says / 'm going away for a while. 445 00:31:33,850 --> 00:31:36,645 Must be like some finishing school or something. 446 00:31:37,771 --> 00:31:39,731 Mom says that when I'm old enough, 447 00:31:39,815 --> 00:31:42,526 my handsome prince charming will rescue me from my tower 448 00:31:42,609 --> 00:31:44,236 and bring me back to my family. 449 00:31:45,237 --> 00:31:47,781 And we 7! All live happily e ver af'ter. 450 00:31:50,158 --> 00:31:52,077 Mrs. Fiona charming. 451 00:31:53,578 --> 00:31:54,913 Mrs. Fiona charming. 452 00:31:55,747 --> 00:31:56,998 Mrs. Fiona charming. 453 00:31:57,082 --> 00:31:59,334 Mrs. Fiona charming. Mrs. Fiona charming. 454 00:31:59,418 --> 00:32:02,379 Mrs. Fiona charming. Mrs. Fiona charming... 455 00:32:02,462 --> 00:32:04,023 Charming. 456 00:32:09,052 --> 00:32:11,930 S-Sorry. Uh, I... I hope I'm not interrupting anything. 457 00:32:12,013 --> 00:32:17,561 No, no, no. I was just reading a, uh... a scary book. 458 00:32:18,186 --> 00:32:22,732 I was hoping you'd let me apologize for my despicable behavior earlier. 459 00:32:22,816 --> 00:32:25,569 - Okay? - I don't know what came over me. 460 00:32:25,652 --> 00:32:28,822 Do you suppose we could just pretend it never happened and start over? 461 00:32:28,905 --> 00:32:30,282 Look, your majesty, I... 462 00:32:30,365 --> 00:32:31,783 Please, call me dad. 463 00:32:32,367 --> 00:32:36,496 Dad, we both acted like ogres. 464 00:32:36,580 --> 00:32:39,749 Maybe we just need some time to get to know each other? 465 00:32:39,833 --> 00:32:40,876 Excellent idea. 466 00:32:40,959 --> 00:32:44,337 I was actually hoping you mightjoin me for a morning hunt. 467 00:32:44,421 --> 00:32:46,339 Little father-son time? 468 00:32:48,175 --> 00:32:50,635 I know it would mean the world to Fiona. 469 00:32:59,811 --> 00:33:03,106 Shall we say, 7:30 by the old oak? 470 00:33:09,237 --> 00:33:11,114 Face it, donkey. We're lost. 471 00:33:11,198 --> 00:33:14,367 We can't be lost. We followed the king's instructions exactly. 472 00:33:14,451 --> 00:33:16,846 What did he say? "Head to the deepest, darkest part of the woods." 473 00:33:16,870 --> 00:33:18,455 - Aye. - "Past the sinister trees 474 00:33:18,538 --> 00:33:20,415 - with those scary-looking branches." - Check. 475 00:33:20,499 --> 00:33:22,435 Yeah and there's that bush shaped like Shirley bassey. 476 00:33:22,459 --> 00:33:24,961 We passed that bush three times already! 477 00:33:25,045 --> 00:33:27,648 You were the one who said you didn't want to stop and get directions. 478 00:33:27,672 --> 00:33:32,302 Oh, great. My one chance to fix things up with Fiona's dad 479 00:33:32,385 --> 00:33:34,513 and I end up lost in the woods with you! 480 00:33:34,596 --> 00:33:36,908 You don't have to get all huffy with me, I'm only trying to help. 481 00:33:36,932 --> 00:33:39,017 I know! I know. 482 00:33:41,436 --> 00:33:42,562 I'm sorry, all right? 483 00:33:42,646 --> 00:33:44,606 Hey, don't worry about it. 484 00:33:44,689 --> 00:33:47,943 I just really need to make things work with this guy. 485 00:33:48,026 --> 00:33:50,403 Yeah, sure. Now, let's go bond with daddy. 486 00:33:58,828 --> 00:34:00,163 Well, well, well, donkey. 487 00:34:00,247 --> 00:34:03,875 I know it was kind of a tender moment back there, but the purring? 488 00:34:03,959 --> 00:34:05,853 Man, what are you talking about? I ain't purring. 489 00:34:05,877 --> 00:34:08,296 Sure. What's next? A hug? 490 00:34:08,380 --> 00:34:10,173 Hey, Shrek. Donkeys don't purr. 491 00:34:10,257 --> 00:34:11,716 What you think I am, some kind of... 492 00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:14,886 Ha-ha! Fear me. If you dare. 493 00:34:14,970 --> 00:34:17,097 Hey, look. A little cat. 494 00:34:17,180 --> 00:34:20,642 - Look out, Shrek! He got a piece! - It's a cat, donkey. 495 00:34:20,725 --> 00:34:22,644 Come here, little kitty kitty kitty. 496 00:34:22,727 --> 00:34:24,563 Come on, little kitty. 497 00:34:24,646 --> 00:34:28,149 Come here. Come here, little kitty. 498 00:34:30,860 --> 00:34:33,071 - Hold on, Shrek! I'm coming! - Oh, come on! Oh! 499 00:34:33,154 --> 00:34:35,699 Get it off! Oh, get it off! 500 00:34:38,368 --> 00:34:39,869 No! Oh! 501 00:34:41,204 --> 00:34:43,582 - Hold on, Shrek! Hold still! - Get it off! 502 00:34:43,665 --> 00:34:44,791 Shrek, hold still! 503 00:34:47,127 --> 00:34:48,127 Did I miss? 504 00:34:48,169 --> 00:34:51,089 No, you got them. 505 00:34:54,384 --> 00:34:58,013 Now, ye ogre, pray for mercy from... 506 00:34:59,431 --> 00:35:01,808 Puss in boots. 507 00:35:01,891 --> 00:35:04,269 I'll kill that cat! 508 00:35:18,950 --> 00:35:20,035 [Gagsi 509 00:35:23,788 --> 00:35:25,540 Hair ball. 510 00:35:25,624 --> 00:35:27,208 Oh, that is nasty. 511 00:35:28,543 --> 00:35:30,253 What do you reckon we should do with him? 512 00:35:30,337 --> 00:35:32,297 I say we take the sword and neuter him right here. 513 00:35:32,380 --> 00:35:33,691 Give him the Bob barker treatment. 514 00:35:33,715 --> 00:35:35,175 Oh, mother, no. Porfavor 515 00:35:35,258 --> 00:35:38,470 please, I implore you. It was nothing personal senor. 516 00:35:38,553 --> 00:35:41,222 I was doing it only for my family. My mother, she's sick. 517 00:35:41,306 --> 00:35:43,725 And my father lives off the garbage. 518 00:35:43,808 --> 00:35:46,811 The king offered me much in gold and I have a litter of brothers... 519 00:35:46,895 --> 00:35:48,855 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 520 00:35:48,938 --> 00:35:51,691 Fiona's father paid you to do this? 521 00:35:51,775 --> 00:35:53,109 The rich king? Si'. 522 00:35:56,946 --> 00:36:00,116 Well, so much for dad's royal blessing. 523 00:36:00,200 --> 00:36:01,951 Oh, come on, Shrek. Don't feel bad. 524 00:36:02,035 --> 00:36:04,037 Almost everybody that meets you wants to kill you. 525 00:36:04,120 --> 00:36:05,246 Gee, thanks. 526 00:36:08,583 --> 00:36:12,587 Maybe Fiona would've been better off if I were some sort of prince charming. 527 00:36:12,671 --> 00:36:14,506 Si! That's what the king said. 528 00:36:16,091 --> 00:36:19,260 Oh, uh... sorry. I thought that question was directed at me. 529 00:36:20,595 --> 00:36:23,348 Shrek, Fiona knows you'll do anything for her. 530 00:36:23,431 --> 00:36:26,142 Well, it's not like I wouldn't change if I could. 531 00:36:27,185 --> 00:36:30,730 I just... I just wish I could make her happy. 532 00:36:33,108 --> 00:36:34,275 Hold the phone. 533 00:36:36,403 --> 00:36:37,487 Happiness. 534 00:36:38,488 --> 00:36:40,699 A tear drop away. 535 00:36:41,491 --> 00:36:45,036 Donkey, think of the saddest thing that's ever happened to you. 536 00:36:45,120 --> 00:36:47,664 Oh, man, where do I begin? 537 00:36:47,747 --> 00:36:50,787 First, it was the time that old farmer tried to sell me for some magic beans. 538 00:36:50,834 --> 00:36:52,127 I ain't never got over that. 539 00:36:52,210 --> 00:36:53,770 Then this fool went off and had a party 540 00:36:53,837 --> 00:36:56,005 and he have all the guests trying to pin a tail on me. 541 00:36:56,089 --> 00:36:58,651 Then they all got drunk and started beating me with a stick going, 542 00:36:58,675 --> 00:37:00,135 "pinata! Pinata!" 543 00:37:00,218 --> 00:37:01,511 What is a pinata, anyway? 544 00:37:01,594 --> 00:37:04,055 No, donkey! I need you to cry! 545 00:37:04,139 --> 00:37:05,765 Yeah, well, don't go projecting on me. 546 00:37:05,849 --> 00:37:08,009 I know you're feeling bad but you gotta let your own... 547 00:37:10,812 --> 00:37:13,231 You little, hairy, litter-licking sack of... 548 00:37:20,697 --> 00:37:23,825 What? Is it on? Is it on? 549 00:37:23,908 --> 00:37:25,660 This is fairy godmother. 550 00:37:25,744 --> 00:37:28,079 I'm either away from my desk or with a client. 551 00:37:28,163 --> 00:37:32,667 But if you come by the ofi'ice, we 7! Be glad to make you a personal appointment. 552 00:37:32,751 --> 00:37:34,335 Ha ve a ”happ y ever after. ” 553 00:37:38,882 --> 00:37:41,009 Are you up for a little quest, donkey? 554 00:37:41,092 --> 00:37:42,332 All right! That's more like it! 555 00:37:42,385 --> 00:37:44,721 Shrek and donkey, on another whirlwind adventure! 556 00:37:44,804 --> 00:37:47,140 J” ain't no stoppin' us now j” 557 00:37:47,223 --> 00:37:49,601 - j” whoo! We 're on the move! J” -Stop, ogre! 558 00:37:49,684 --> 00:37:52,896 - I have misjudged you. - Join the club. We've got jackets. 559 00:37:52,979 --> 00:37:56,983 On my honor, I am obliged to accompany you until I have saved your life 560 00:37:57,066 --> 00:37:58,318 as you have spared me mine. 561 00:37:58,401 --> 00:38:02,238 I'm sorry, the position of annoying talking animal has already been taken. 562 00:38:02,322 --> 00:38:03,615 Let's go, Shrek. 563 00:38:04,240 --> 00:38:05,240 Shrek? 564 00:38:14,083 --> 00:38:17,462 - Shrek! - Oh, come on, donkey. Look at him 565 00:38:17,545 --> 00:38:19,506 in his wee little boots. 566 00:38:19,589 --> 00:38:21,841 You know, how many cats can wear boots? 567 00:38:21,925 --> 00:38:22,926 Honestly? 568 00:38:23,009 --> 00:38:24,886 - Aw, let's keep him. - Say what? 569 00:38:28,640 --> 00:38:30,433 Aw, listen, he's purring. 570 00:38:30,517 --> 00:38:33,603 - Oh, so now it's cute? - Aw, come on, donkey. Lighten up. 571 00:38:33,686 --> 00:38:37,232 Lighten up? Oh, I should lighten up? Look who's telling who to lighten up! 572 00:38:40,902 --> 00:38:41,903 Shrek. 573 00:38:47,158 --> 00:38:48,159 Shrek? 574 00:38:58,586 --> 00:39:01,381 Well, they're both festive, aren't they? 575 00:39:01,464 --> 00:39:03,132 What do you think, Harold? 576 00:39:03,216 --> 00:39:05,927 Um, yes, yes. Fine. Fine. 577 00:39:07,595 --> 00:39:11,599 Try to at least pretend you're interested in your daughter's wedding ball. 578 00:39:11,683 --> 00:39:13,977 Honestly, Lillian, I don't think it really matters. 579 00:39:14,060 --> 00:39:16,271 How do we know there's even going to be a ball? 580 00:39:16,354 --> 00:39:18,189 Mom! Dad! 581 00:39:18,273 --> 00:39:21,985 - Oh, hello, dear. - Um, what's that, Cedric? Right! Coming. 582 00:39:22,068 --> 00:39:24,737 Mom, have you seen Shrek? 583 00:39:24,821 --> 00:39:27,615 I haven't. You should ask your father. 584 00:39:27,699 --> 00:39:32,161 Be sure and use small words, dear. He's a little slow this morning. 585 00:39:32,245 --> 00:39:35,123 - Can I help you, your majesty? - Ah, yes! Um... 586 00:39:35,832 --> 00:39:38,626 Hmm. Exquisite. What do you call this dish? 587 00:39:38,710 --> 00:39:41,796 That would be the dog's breakfast, your majesty. 588 00:39:41,880 --> 00:39:44,382 Ah, yes. Very good, then. 589 00:39:44,465 --> 00:39:46,634 - Carry on, Cedric. - Dad? 590 00:39:46,718 --> 00:39:49,012 - Dad? Have you seen Shrek? - Uh, no, I haven't, dear. 591 00:39:49,095 --> 00:39:53,725 I... I'm sure he just went off to look for a nice mud hole to cool down in. 592 00:39:53,808 --> 00:39:55,894 You know, after your little spat last night. 593 00:39:55,977 --> 00:39:58,146 Oh. You heard that, huh? 594 00:39:58,229 --> 00:39:59,709 Darling, the whole kingdom heard you. 595 00:39:59,772 --> 00:40:04,777 I mean, after all it is in his nature to be, well, a bit of a brute. 596 00:40:04,861 --> 00:40:08,656 Him? You know, you didn't exactly roll out the welcome wagon. 597 00:40:08,740 --> 00:40:12,118 Well, what did you expect? I mean, look at what he's done to you. 598 00:40:12,201 --> 00:40:15,204 Shrek loves me for who I am. 599 00:40:16,247 --> 00:40:18,625 I would think you'd be happy for me. 600 00:40:18,708 --> 00:40:22,253 Darling, I'm just thinking about what's best for you. 601 00:40:22,337 --> 00:40:24,923 Maybe you should do the same. 602 00:40:38,978 --> 00:40:41,189 - No, really? - Mm-hmm. 603 00:40:43,316 --> 00:40:44,609 Shh, shh, shh... 604 00:40:46,903 --> 00:40:48,071 Whoa. 605 00:40:52,575 --> 00:40:55,995 Oh, no. That's the old keebler's place. Let's just back away slowly. 606 00:40:56,079 --> 00:40:57,830 That's the fairy godmother's cottage. 607 00:40:57,914 --> 00:41:01,417 She's the largest producer of hexes and potions in the whole kingdom. 608 00:41:01,501 --> 00:41:04,212 Then why don't we pop in there for a spell? 609 00:41:04,295 --> 00:41:06,923 Spell. 610 00:41:10,635 --> 00:41:12,053 He makes me laugh. 611 00:41:14,097 --> 00:41:16,307 Oh. 612 00:41:17,850 --> 00:41:19,811 Hi. I'm here to see the... 613 00:41:19,894 --> 00:41:23,022 The fairy godmother. I'm sorry. She is not in. 614 00:41:23,106 --> 00:41:26,025 Jerome! Cofi'ee and a monte cristo. Now! 615 00:41:27,443 --> 00:41:30,530 Yes, fairy godmother. Right away. 616 00:41:30,613 --> 00:41:33,366 Look, she's not seeing any client today, okay? 617 00:41:33,449 --> 00:41:35,618 That's okay, buddy. We're from the union. 618 00:41:35,702 --> 00:41:36,703 The union? 619 00:41:36,786 --> 00:41:41,165 We represent the workers in all magical industries, both evil and benign. 620 00:41:41,249 --> 00:41:43,001 Oh! Oh, right. 621 00:41:43,084 --> 00:41:46,129 Are you feeling at all degraded or oppressed? 622 00:41:46,212 --> 00:41:48,131 Uh, a little. 623 00:41:48,214 --> 00:41:49,882 We... we don't even have dental. 624 00:41:49,966 --> 00:41:51,467 They don't even have dental. 625 00:41:52,135 --> 00:41:54,220 Okay. We're just gonna have a look around. 626 00:41:54,303 --> 00:41:55,430 Oh, by the way, 627 00:41:55,513 --> 00:41:58,808 I think it'd be better if the fairy godmother didn't know we were here. 628 00:41:58,891 --> 00:42:02,145 - Know what I'm saying? Huh? Huh? - Huh? Huh? Huh? 629 00:42:02,228 --> 00:42:05,148 - Stop it. - Of course. Go right in. 630 00:42:34,552 --> 00:42:36,846 A drop of desire. 631 00:42:37,555 --> 00:42:39,098 Naughty. 632 00:42:40,433 --> 00:42:42,435 A pinch of passion. 633 00:42:47,565 --> 00:42:51,611 And just a hint of lust. 634 00:42:55,364 --> 00:42:56,991 - Excuse me. - [Gasps} 635 00:42:57,075 --> 00:42:58,785 sorry to barge in like this but... 636 00:42:58,868 --> 00:43:01,496 What in grimm's name are you doing here? 637 00:43:01,579 --> 00:43:03,081 Well... 638 00:43:03,164 --> 00:43:07,043 It seems that Fiona's not exactly happy. 639 00:43:08,669 --> 00:43:11,047 And there's some question as to why that is? 640 00:43:12,048 --> 00:43:14,092 Well, let's explore that, shall we? 641 00:43:16,469 --> 00:43:19,764 Ah. P. P. P. P. Princess. Cinderella. 642 00:43:19,847 --> 00:43:21,933 Here we are. "Lived happily ever after." 643 00:43:22,016 --> 00:43:23,309 Oh! 644 00:43:23,392 --> 00:43:24,811 No ogres. 645 00:43:24,894 --> 00:43:26,938 Let's see. Snow white. 646 00:43:27,021 --> 00:43:30,650 A handsome prince. Oh, no ogres. 647 00:43:30,733 --> 00:43:32,985 Sleeping beauty. Ooh, no ogres. 648 00:43:33,069 --> 00:43:36,197 Hansel and gretel? No. Thumbelina? No. 649 00:43:36,280 --> 00:43:39,242 The golden bird, the little mermaid, pretty woman. 650 00:43:39,325 --> 00:43:42,245 No, no, no, no, no! 651 00:43:42,328 --> 00:43:46,457 You see, ogres don't live happily ever after. 652 00:43:46,541 --> 00:43:47,667 All right, look, lady! 653 00:43:47,750 --> 00:43:51,879 Don't you point those dirty green sausages at me! 654 00:43:53,339 --> 00:43:56,717 Your monte cristo and coffee. Oh, sorry. 655 00:43:56,801 --> 00:44:00,513 Ah! That's okay. We were just leaving. 656 00:44:01,305 --> 00:44:03,975 Very sorry to have wasted your time, miss godmother. 657 00:44:04,058 --> 00:44:05,852 Just go. 658 00:44:05,935 --> 00:44:07,186 Come on, guys. 659 00:44:23,119 --> 00:44:24,871 Tgif, eh, buddy? 660 00:44:27,206 --> 00:44:29,792 Working hard or hardly working, eh, Mac? 661 00:44:37,925 --> 00:44:39,177 Oh! 662 00:44:39,260 --> 00:44:42,072 Hey, man. You wanna get your fine corinthian footwear and your cat cheeks 663 00:44:42,096 --> 00:44:43,890 out of my face? Man, that stinks! 664 00:44:43,973 --> 00:44:47,768 Well, you don't exactly smell like a basket of roses. 665 00:44:50,938 --> 00:44:55,359 - Well, one of these has got to help. - I was just concocting this very plan. 666 00:44:55,443 --> 00:44:58,029 Already our minds are becoming one. 667 00:44:58,112 --> 00:44:59,822 Whoa, whoa, whoa, there. 668 00:44:59,906 --> 00:45:03,034 Listen, if we need an expert on licking ourselves, we'll give you a call. 669 00:45:03,117 --> 00:45:05,203 Shrek, this is a bad idea. 670 00:45:05,286 --> 00:45:08,748 Look. Make yourself useful and go keep watch. 671 00:45:08,831 --> 00:45:11,417 Puss, do you think you could get to those on top? 672 00:45:11,500 --> 00:45:13,002 No prob/ema, boss. 673 00:45:13,085 --> 00:45:17,381 In one of my nine lives I was the great cat burglar of Santiago de compostela. 674 00:45:18,466 --> 00:45:20,134 Shrek, are you off your nut? 675 00:45:20,218 --> 00:45:21,802 Donkey, keep watch. 676 00:45:21,886 --> 00:45:23,721 Keep watch? Yeah. I'm gonna keep watch. 677 00:45:23,804 --> 00:45:26,658 I'll watch that wicked witch come down here and whammy zammy a world of hurt 678 00:45:26,682 --> 00:45:27,725 all up your backside. 679 00:45:27,808 --> 00:45:30,686 I'm gonna laugh too. If she do, I'm gonna be giggling to myself. 680 00:45:30,770 --> 00:45:33,564 - What do you see? - Toadstool softener? 681 00:45:33,648 --> 00:45:36,317 Oh, yeah, you're right. I'm sure a nice bm is the perfect solution 682 00:45:36,400 --> 00:45:37,693 for marital problems. 683 00:45:37,777 --> 00:45:39,695 - "Elfa seltzer"? - Uh-uh. 684 00:45:39,779 --> 00:45:40,613 "Hex lax"? 685 00:45:40,696 --> 00:45:43,199 No! Try "handsome". 686 00:45:44,533 --> 00:45:45,952 Sorry. No handsome. 687 00:45:47,161 --> 00:45:49,997 Hey! How about "happily ever after"? 688 00:45:50,081 --> 00:45:52,166 Well, what does it do? 689 00:45:52,959 --> 00:45:55,628 It says “beauty divine." 690 00:45:55,711 --> 00:45:59,048 You know, in some cultures, donkeys are revered as the wisest of creatures. 691 00:45:59,131 --> 00:46:00,716 Especially us talking ones. 692 00:46:01,467 --> 00:46:02,802 Donkey! 693 00:46:04,804 --> 00:46:06,389 That'll have to do. We've got company. 694 00:46:13,938 --> 00:46:15,189 Can we get on with this? 695 00:46:16,315 --> 00:46:19,318 Hurry! 696 00:46:26,993 --> 00:46:28,661 Whoa! 697 00:46:28,744 --> 00:46:30,162 Nice catch, donkey! 698 00:46:30,246 --> 00:46:32,540 Finally! A good use for your mouth. 699 00:46:36,919 --> 00:46:37,920 Come on! 700 00:46:44,093 --> 00:46:46,679 J” you spurn my natural emotions j” 701 00:46:46,762 --> 00:46:50,099 j” you make me feel like dirt and I'm hun'... j” 702 00:46:54,895 --> 00:46:57,273 J” and if / start a commotion j” 703 00:46:57,356 --> 00:47:01,277 j” lrun the risk of losing you and that's worse... j” 704 00:47:04,822 --> 00:47:07,450 J” ever fallen in love with someone j” 705 00:47:07,533 --> 00:47:11,037 j” ever fallen in lo ve in love with someone, ever fallen in j” 706 00:47:11,120 --> 00:47:14,290 j” in love with someone you shouldn't 't've fallen in love with... j” 707 00:47:21,005 --> 00:47:23,215 J” ever fallen in love with someone j” 708 00:47:23,299 --> 00:47:27,136 j” ever fallen in love in love with someone, ever fallen in... j” 709 00:47:31,307 --> 00:47:32,850 J” fallen in love with... j” 710 00:47:34,435 --> 00:47:39,398 J” ever fallen in love with someone you shouldn't 't've fallen in love with j” 711 00:47:39,482 --> 00:47:43,694 look, I don't care whose fault it is. Just get this place cleaned up! 712 00:47:43,778 --> 00:47:44,779 Yes, godmother. 713 00:47:44,862 --> 00:47:49,367 And somebody bring me something deep fried and smothered in chocolate. 714 00:47:50,368 --> 00:47:51,494 Mother! 715 00:47:51,577 --> 00:47:53,954 Charming. Sweetheart. 716 00:47:54,038 --> 00:47:57,124 Oh, this isn't a good time, pumpkin. Mama's working. 717 00:47:57,208 --> 00:47:58,834 Whoa. What happened here? 718 00:47:58,918 --> 00:48:00,795 The ogre, that's what. 719 00:48:00,878 --> 00:48:02,505 What? Where is he, mom? 720 00:48:02,588 --> 00:48:05,549 I shall rend his head from his shoulders. 721 00:48:05,633 --> 00:48:07,927 I will smite him where he stands. 722 00:48:08,010 --> 00:48:12,014 He will rue the very day he stole my kingdom from me! 723 00:48:12,848 --> 00:48:16,060 Oh, put it away, junior! You're still gonna be king. 724 00:48:16,685 --> 00:48:19,365 We're just gonna have to come up with something smarter. That's all. 725 00:48:19,438 --> 00:48:21,065 Pardon? Um... 726 00:48:21,148 --> 00:48:25,528 Everything is accounted for, fairy godmother, except for one potion. 727 00:48:25,611 --> 00:48:26,612 What? 728 00:48:29,698 --> 00:48:32,535 I do believe we can make this work to our advantage. 729 00:48:34,412 --> 00:48:38,165 "Happily ever after potion. Maximum strength. 730 00:48:38,249 --> 00:48:40,876 For you and your true love. 731 00:48:40,960 --> 00:48:43,879 If one of you drinks this, you both will be fine. 732 00:48:43,963 --> 00:48:46,549 Happiness, comfort and beauty divine." 733 00:48:46,632 --> 00:48:50,302 - You both will be fine? - I guess it means it'll affect Fiona too. 734 00:48:51,345 --> 00:48:55,015 Hey, man. This don't feel right. My donkey senses are tingling all over. 735 00:48:55,099 --> 00:48:58,060 So why don't you just drop that jug o' voodoo and let's get out of here? 736 00:48:58,144 --> 00:49:01,355 It says, "beauty divine." How bad can it be? 737 00:49:03,315 --> 00:49:06,777 Aha, see, you're allergic to that stuff. You're gonna have a reaction. 738 00:49:06,861 --> 00:49:09,947 And if you think that I'm gonna be smearing vapor rub all over your chest, 739 00:49:10,030 --> 00:49:11,115 think again! 740 00:49:11,198 --> 00:49:14,368 Boss, just in case there is something wrong with the potion, 741 00:49:14,452 --> 00:49:16,370 allow me to take the first sip. 742 00:49:16,454 --> 00:49:19,290 It would be an honor to lay my life on the line for you. 743 00:49:19,373 --> 00:49:21,000 Oh, no, no, no, no. 744 00:49:21,083 --> 00:49:24,712 I don't think so. If there's gonna be any animal testing, I'm gonna do it. 745 00:49:24,795 --> 00:49:27,798 That's the best friend's job. Now give me that bottle. 746 00:49:33,137 --> 00:49:34,889 How do you feel? 747 00:49:35,848 --> 00:49:39,185 I don't feel any different. I look any different? 748 00:49:39,268 --> 00:49:40,853 You still look like an ass to me. 749 00:49:42,146 --> 00:49:44,148 Maybe it doesn't work on donkeys. 750 00:49:45,774 --> 00:49:48,903 Well, here's to us, Fiona. 751 00:49:48,986 --> 00:49:52,239 Shrek, you drink that, there's no going back. 752 00:49:52,323 --> 00:49:53,199 I know. 753 00:49:53,282 --> 00:49:55,451 - But no more wallowing in the mud? - I know. 754 00:49:55,534 --> 00:49:57,134 - And no more itchy butt crack? - I know! 755 00:49:57,161 --> 00:49:59,163 - But you love being an ogre! - I know! 756 00:50:03,209 --> 00:50:04,543 But I love Fiona more. 757 00:50:06,545 --> 00:50:08,255 Shrek, no! Wait! 758 00:50:21,060 --> 00:50:22,603 Whoo, cold. Got to be. 759 00:50:22,686 --> 00:50:25,648 Shrek I think you grabbed the "farty ever after" potion. 760 00:50:25,731 --> 00:50:26,732 Maybe it's a dud. 761 00:50:28,025 --> 00:50:30,277 Or maybe Fiona and I were never meant to be. 762 00:50:34,615 --> 00:50:37,743 Uh-oh. What did I tell you? I think I feel something coming on. 763 00:50:37,826 --> 00:50:40,412 I don't want to die. I don't want to die. 764 00:50:40,496 --> 00:50:41,705 I don't want to die! 765 00:50:41,789 --> 00:50:44,542 Oh, sweet sister, mother of mercy. I'm melting! 766 00:50:44,625 --> 00:50:46,710 I'm melting! 767 00:50:46,794 --> 00:50:48,712 It's just the rain, donkey. 768 00:50:50,339 --> 00:50:52,007 Oh. 769 00:51:33,674 --> 00:51:37,011 Oh, Shrek, don't worry. Things just seem bad because it's dark and rainy, 770 00:51:37,094 --> 00:51:39,471 and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hit man to whack you. 771 00:51:40,514 --> 00:51:42,933 It'll be better in the morning. You'll see. 772 00:51:43,601 --> 00:51:46,228 J” the sun will come out j” 773 00:51:47,146 --> 00:51:48,772 j” tomorrowj” 774 00:51:49,648 --> 00:51:51,358 j” bet your bottom... j” 775 00:51:51,442 --> 00:51:53,235 "bet my bottom?" 776 00:51:53,319 --> 00:51:55,112 I'm coming, Elizabeth! 777 00:51:55,195 --> 00:51:58,365 Donkey? Are... are you all right? 778 00:51:58,449 --> 00:52:01,493 Hey, boss. Let's shave him. 779 00:52:01,577 --> 00:52:03,037 Don... donkey... 780 00:52:12,004 --> 00:52:14,465 There you are! We missed you at dinner. 781 00:52:15,591 --> 00:52:17,009 What is it, darling? 782 00:52:17,092 --> 00:52:20,512 Dad, I've been thinking about what you said. 783 00:52:22,181 --> 00:52:24,016 And I'm gonna set things right. 784 00:52:24,099 --> 00:52:26,602 Ah, excellent! That's my girl. 785 00:52:26,685 --> 00:52:28,646 It was a mistake to bring Shrek here. 786 00:52:29,730 --> 00:52:31,315 I'm gonna go out and find him. 787 00:52:32,483 --> 00:52:35,361 And then we're gonna go back to the swamp where we belong. 788 00:52:38,864 --> 00:52:40,324 Fiona, please! 789 00:52:40,407 --> 00:52:44,078 Uh, let's not be rash, darling. You can't go anywhere right now. 790 00:52:46,580 --> 00:52:47,581 - Fiona! - Fiona! 791 00:53:27,663 --> 00:53:29,289 Look, I told you he was here. 792 00:53:29,373 --> 00:53:32,751 Look at him! Shh! Quiet. Look at him. 793 00:53:35,087 --> 00:53:36,547 Good morning, sleepyhead. 794 00:53:37,840 --> 00:53:39,258 - Good morning. - Good morning. 795 00:53:39,341 --> 00:53:40,426 We love your kitty. 796 00:53:40,509 --> 00:53:42,344 My head. 797 00:53:42,428 --> 00:53:45,889 - Here, I fetched you a pail of water. - Thanks. 798 00:53:51,311 --> 00:53:52,354 Whoa. 799 00:53:54,273 --> 00:53:56,275 A cute button nose? 800 00:53:56,942 --> 00:53:58,944 Thick, wavy locks? 801 00:53:59,695 --> 00:54:01,989 Taut, round buttocks? 802 00:54:02,656 --> 00:54:04,408 I'm... I m-... 803 00:54:04,491 --> 00:54:05,826 - Gorgeous. - I'll say. 804 00:54:05,909 --> 00:54:07,286 I'm Jill. What's your name? 805 00:54:07,369 --> 00:54:08,620 Um, Shrek. 806 00:54:08,704 --> 00:54:12,040 - Shrek? Wow. Are you from Europe? - Uh... 807 00:54:12,124 --> 00:54:13,977 - You're so tense. - I want to rub his shoulders. 808 00:54:14,001 --> 00:54:16,312 - I got it covered, thanks. - I don't have anything to rub. 809 00:54:16,336 --> 00:54:17,921 Well, get in line. 810 00:54:18,005 --> 00:54:19,965 Have... have you ladies seen my donkey? 811 00:54:20,048 --> 00:54:21,488 Who are you calling donkey? 812 00:54:23,302 --> 00:54:26,430 - Donkey? You're a... - A stallion, baby! 813 00:54:26,513 --> 00:54:28,265 I can whinny. 814 00:54:28,348 --> 00:54:29,349 I can count. 815 00:54:30,267 --> 00:54:33,103 Look at me, Shrek. I'm trotting. 816 00:54:33,854 --> 00:54:36,774 That's some quality potion. What's in that stuff? 817 00:54:36,857 --> 00:54:40,110 "Oh, don't take the potion, Mr. Boss. It's very bad." 818 00:54:41,278 --> 00:54:43,280 "Warning: Side effects may include 819 00:54:43,363 --> 00:54:45,824 burning, itching, oozing, weeping. 820 00:54:45,908 --> 00:54:49,495 Not intended for heart patients or those with nervous disorders." 821 00:54:49,578 --> 00:54:52,664 J” I'm trotting, I'm trotting I'm trotting in place! Yeah! J” 822 00:54:54,958 --> 00:54:55,793 what? 823 00:54:55,876 --> 00:54:59,087 Senor, "to make the effects of this potion permanent, 824 00:54:59,171 --> 00:55:03,258 the drinker must obtain his true love's kiss by midnight." 825 00:55:03,342 --> 00:55:06,094 Midnight? Why is it always midnight? 826 00:55:06,178 --> 00:55:08,639 - Pick me! I'll be your true love! - I'll be your true love. 827 00:55:08,722 --> 00:55:10,849 I'll be true... enough. 828 00:55:10,933 --> 00:55:14,645 Look, ladies, I already have a true love. 829 00:55:14,728 --> 00:55:15,854 Aw. 830 00:55:15,938 --> 00:55:20,067 And take it from me, boss. You are going to have one satisfied Princess. 831 00:55:20,150 --> 00:55:23,362 And let's face it, you are a lot easier on the eyes, 832 00:55:23,445 --> 00:55:25,864 but inside you're still the same old mean, salty... 833 00:55:25,948 --> 00:55:27,950 - Easy. All right. - Cantankerous, stanky, foul, 834 00:55:28,033 --> 00:55:29,827 angry ogre you always been. 835 00:55:29,910 --> 00:55:32,079 And you're still the same annoying donkey. 836 00:55:32,162 --> 00:55:33,162 Yeah. 837 00:55:35,499 --> 00:55:36,499 Well, 838 00:55:37,084 --> 00:55:40,212 look out, Princess. Here comes the new me. 839 00:55:41,713 --> 00:55:44,341 Uh, first things first. We need to get you out of those clothes. 840 00:55:49,221 --> 00:55:50,639 - Ready? - Ready. 841 00:55:54,935 --> 00:55:56,812 Driver, stop! 842 00:55:56,895 --> 00:56:00,023 Oh, god! Help me, please! My racing days are over! 843 00:56:00,107 --> 00:56:03,610 I'm blind! Tell the truth. Will I ever be able to play the violin again? 844 00:56:03,694 --> 00:56:07,698 Oh, you poor creature. Is there anything I can do for you? 845 00:56:08,448 --> 00:56:10,242 Well, I guess there is one thing. 846 00:56:10,325 --> 00:56:13,036 Take off the powdered wig and step away from your drawers. 847 00:56:17,374 --> 00:56:19,376 - Not bad. - Not bad at all. 848 00:56:27,426 --> 00:56:30,470 Father? Is everything all right, father? 849 00:56:35,976 --> 00:56:39,897 Thank you, gentlemen. Someday, I will repay you. 850 00:56:39,980 --> 00:56:42,983 Unless, of course, I can't find you or if I forget. 851 00:56:50,991 --> 00:56:52,200 J” oh, yeah j” 852 00:57:00,542 --> 00:57:02,294 J” ch-ch-ch-ch-changes j” 853 00:57:02,377 --> 00:57:06,798 -j” turn and face the strange j” -j” ch-ch-changes j” 854 00:57:06,882 --> 00:57:10,010 j” don't want to be a richer one j” 855 00:57:10,093 --> 00:57:12,387 j” ch-ch-ch-ch-changes... j” 856 00:57:16,391 --> 00:57:19,311 J” just gonna have to be a difi'erent man j” 857 00:57:19,394 --> 00:57:21,730 j” time may change me j” 858 00:57:22,314 --> 00:57:24,942 j” but / can't trace time j” 859 00:57:27,235 --> 00:57:28,403 halt! 860 00:57:28,487 --> 00:57:32,449 Tell Princess Fiona her husband, sir Shrek, is here to see her. 861 00:57:36,745 --> 00:57:40,248 J” still don't know what! Was looking for... j” 862 00:57:45,420 --> 00:57:48,507 J” every time / thought I'd got it made j” 863 00:57:48,590 --> 00:57:51,885 j” it seemed the taste was not so sweet... j” 864 00:57:54,096 --> 00:57:54,972 Fiona! 865 00:57:55,055 --> 00:57:56,056 Shrek? 866 00:57:59,810 --> 00:58:00,811 Shrek! 867 00:58:06,191 --> 00:58:07,191 Fiona. 868 00:58:10,612 --> 00:58:12,322 Hello, handsome. 869 00:58:14,157 --> 00:58:15,157 Shrek! 870 00:58:15,742 --> 00:58:17,536 - Princess! - [Gasps} 871 00:58:17,619 --> 00:58:20,372 - donkey? - Wow! That potion worked on you, too, huh? 872 00:58:20,455 --> 00:58:23,333 - W-What potion? - It's kind of a long story, 873 00:58:23,417 --> 00:58:28,005 but Shrek and I took some magic potion, and, well, now, we're sexy! 874 00:58:29,840 --> 00:58:31,758 Shrek? 875 00:58:34,636 --> 00:58:37,305 For you, baby, I could be. 876 00:58:37,389 --> 00:58:39,766 - Yeah, you wish. - Donkey, where is Shrek? 877 00:58:39,850 --> 00:58:41,518 He just went inside looking for you. 878 00:58:43,979 --> 00:58:45,188 Shrek! 879 00:58:45,897 --> 00:58:47,149 Fiona! 880 00:58:47,232 --> 00:58:48,775 Fiona! 881 00:58:50,444 --> 00:58:52,279 You wanna dance, pretty boy? 882 00:58:55,449 --> 00:58:59,077 Are you going so soon? Don't you want to see your wife? 883 00:59:00,495 --> 00:59:01,705 - Fiona. - [Gasps} 884 00:59:03,957 --> 00:59:05,125 Shrek? 885 00:59:05,208 --> 00:59:08,045 Aye, Fiona. It is me. 886 00:59:08,128 --> 00:59:09,796 What happened to your voice? 887 00:59:09,880 --> 00:59:13,300 Uh, the potion changed a lot of things, Fiona, 888 00:59:14,301 --> 00:59:16,303 but not the way I feel about you. 889 00:59:16,803 --> 00:59:17,804 Fiona? 890 00:59:19,264 --> 00:59:22,642 - Charming? - Uh, do you think so? 891 00:59:22,726 --> 00:59:25,896 Dad, I was so hoping you'd approve. 892 00:59:25,979 --> 00:59:27,773 Um, who are you? 893 00:59:27,856 --> 00:59:29,733 Mom, it's me, Shrek. 894 00:59:29,816 --> 00:59:33,403 I know you never get a second chance at a first impression 895 00:59:33,487 --> 00:59:35,655 but, well, what do you think? 896 00:59:40,077 --> 00:59:42,537 Fiona! Fiona! 897 00:59:43,205 --> 00:59:44,247 Fiona! 898 00:59:44,331 --> 00:59:45,999 Fiona! 899 00:59:46,583 --> 00:59:48,919 - Fiona! - "Fiona! Fiona!" 900 00:59:49,002 --> 00:59:51,296 Oh, shoot! 901 00:59:51,379 --> 00:59:53,715 I don't think they can hear us, pigeon. 902 00:59:56,551 --> 00:59:59,930 Don't you think you've already messed her life up enough? 903 01:00:00,514 --> 01:00:02,682 I just wanted her to be happy. 904 01:00:02,766 --> 01:00:04,518 And now she can be. 905 01:00:05,185 --> 01:00:07,479 Oh, sweetheart. 906 01:00:07,562 --> 01:00:11,024 She's finally found the prince of her dreams. 907 01:00:11,108 --> 01:00:12,317 But look at me. 908 01:00:13,318 --> 01:00:15,153 Look what I've done for her. 909 01:00:15,237 --> 01:00:18,615 It's time you stop living in a fairy tale, Shrek. 910 01:00:18,698 --> 01:00:22,744 She's a Princess, and you're an ogre. 911 01:00:23,370 --> 01:00:26,790 That's something no amount of potion is ever going to change. 912 01:00:34,589 --> 01:00:35,590 But... 913 01:00:36,341 --> 01:00:37,759 I love her. 914 01:00:37,843 --> 01:00:39,594 If you really love her, 915 01:00:40,887 --> 01:00:42,639 you'll let her go. 916 01:00:47,894 --> 01:00:50,021 - Shrek? - Sefior 917 01:00:50,105 --> 01:00:52,858 hey, what's going on? Where you going? 918 01:00:59,322 --> 01:01:03,243 You wouldn't have had anything to do with this, would you, Harold? 919 01:01:08,999 --> 01:01:11,793 J” people just ain't no good j” 920 01:01:14,588 --> 01:01:18,216 j” / think that's well understood... j” 921 01:01:18,300 --> 01:01:19,885 there you go, boys. 922 01:01:19,968 --> 01:01:21,761 Just leave the bottle, Doris. 923 01:01:21,845 --> 01:01:24,181 Hey, why the long face? 924 01:01:25,473 --> 01:01:27,809 It was all just a stupid mistake. 925 01:01:28,977 --> 01:01:32,564 I never should have rescued her from that tower in the first place. 926 01:01:35,066 --> 01:01:36,735 I hate mondays. 927 01:01:36,818 --> 01:01:40,572 I can't believe you're gonna walk away from the best thing that happened to you. 928 01:01:40,655 --> 01:01:42,282 What choice do I have? 929 01:01:42,365 --> 01:01:45,785 She loves that pretty boy, prince charming. 930 01:01:45,869 --> 01:01:48,079 Oh, come on now. Is he really that good-looking? 931 01:01:48,163 --> 01:01:50,457 Are you kidding? He's gorgeous. 932 01:01:50,540 --> 01:01:53,627 He has a face that looks like it was carved by angels. 933 01:01:53,710 --> 01:01:55,795 Mmm. He sounds dreamy. 934 01:01:55,879 --> 01:01:59,716 You know, shockingly, this isn't making me feel any better. 935 01:02:02,761 --> 01:02:05,764 Look, guys, it's for the best. 936 01:02:06,640 --> 01:02:10,435 Mom and dad approve, and Fiona gets the man she's always dreamed of. 937 01:02:11,519 --> 01:02:12,771 Everybody wins. 938 01:02:14,439 --> 01:02:15,649 Except for you. 939 01:02:16,233 --> 01:02:19,027 I don't get it, Shrek. You love Fiona. 940 01:02:21,655 --> 01:02:23,740 And that's why I have to let her go. 941 01:02:23,823 --> 01:02:25,825 Um... Excuse me... 942 01:02:26,534 --> 01:02:28,036 Is... is she here? 943 01:02:28,119 --> 01:02:30,121 She's, uh, in the back. 944 01:02:31,456 --> 01:02:33,375 Oh, hello again. 945 01:02:37,254 --> 01:02:39,589 Uh, fairy godmother. Charming. 946 01:02:39,673 --> 01:02:43,718 You better have a good reason for dragging us down here, Harold. 947 01:02:43,802 --> 01:02:49,391 Well, uh... I'm afraid Fiona isn't really warming up to prince charming. 948 01:02:49,474 --> 01:02:51,851 Um, fyi, not my fault. 949 01:02:51,935 --> 01:02:53,603 No, no, of course it's not, dear. 950 01:02:53,687 --> 01:02:57,899 I mean, how charming can I be when I have to pretend I'm that dreadful ogre? 951 01:02:57,983 --> 01:02:59,651 No! No, it's nobody's fault. 952 01:02:59,734 --> 01:03:03,405 Um, perhaps it's best if we just call the whole thing off. Okay? 953 01:03:03,488 --> 01:03:04,406 What? 954 01:03:04,489 --> 01:03:07,367 You can't force someone to fall in love. 955 01:03:07,450 --> 01:03:09,202 I beg to differ. 956 01:03:09,286 --> 01:03:11,121 I do it all the time. 957 01:03:11,204 --> 01:03:14,291 Have Fiona drink this, and she'll fall in love 958 01:03:14,374 --> 01:03:17,627 with the first man she kisses, which will be charming. 959 01:03:18,962 --> 01:03:21,798 - Uh... no. - What did you say? 960 01:03:21,881 --> 01:03:24,426 I... I can't. I... I won't do it. 961 01:03:24,509 --> 01:03:26,011 Oh, yes, you will. 962 01:03:26,094 --> 01:03:29,597 If you remember, I helped you with your happily ever after, 963 01:03:29,681 --> 01:03:33,226 and I can take it away just as easily. 964 01:03:33,310 --> 01:03:35,395 Is that what you want? 965 01:03:35,478 --> 01:03:36,479 Is it? 966 01:03:36,563 --> 01:03:40,025 - N... no. - Good boy. 967 01:03:40,108 --> 01:03:43,987 Now, we have to go. I need to do charming's hair before the ball. 968 01:03:44,070 --> 01:03:46,656 He's hopeless. You know, he's all high in the front. 969 01:03:46,740 --> 01:03:49,576 He can never get to the back. You always need someone to do the back. 970 01:03:49,659 --> 01:03:52,203 - Oh, thank you, mother. - Mother? 971 01:03:53,246 --> 01:03:56,249 Uh, Mary! A talking horse! 972 01:03:56,333 --> 01:03:57,375 The ogre! 973 01:03:59,252 --> 01:04:00,420 Stop them! 974 01:04:00,503 --> 01:04:02,172 Thieves! Bandits! 975 01:04:02,255 --> 01:04:03,798 Stop them! 976 01:04:04,883 --> 01:04:08,011 Well, the abs are fab and it's gluteus to the Maximus 977 01:04:08,094 --> 01:04:11,639 here at tonight's far, far away royal ball blowout! 978 01:04:11,723 --> 01:04:14,517 The coaches are lined up as the cream of the crop pours out of them 979 01:04:14,601 --> 01:04:16,478 like miss muffet's curds and whey. 980 01:04:16,561 --> 01:04:20,732 Everyone who's anyone has turned out to honor Princess Fiona and prince Shrek. 981 01:04:20,815 --> 01:04:24,152 And, oh, my, the outfits look gorgeous! 982 01:04:24,235 --> 01:04:25,445 Look! Hansel and gretel! 983 01:04:25,528 --> 01:04:28,281 What the heck are the crumbs for? 984 01:04:28,365 --> 01:04:31,326 And right behind them, Tom thumb and thumbelina! 985 01:04:31,409 --> 01:04:32,827 Oh, aren't they adorable? 986 01:04:32,911 --> 01:04:34,079 Whoa! 987 01:04:34,162 --> 01:04:37,374 Here comes sleeping beauty! Oh! 988 01:04:37,457 --> 01:04:39,209 Tired old thing. 989 01:04:39,292 --> 01:04:42,837 Who's this? Who's this? Who is this? 990 01:04:42,921 --> 01:04:46,257 Oh! It's the one, it's the only, 991 01:04:46,341 --> 01:04:48,927 it's the fairy godmother! 992 01:04:49,010 --> 01:04:53,390 Hello, far, far away! 993 01:04:53,473 --> 01:04:55,225 Can I get a, "whoop, whoop"? 994 01:04:55,308 --> 01:04:56,768 Whoop, whoop! 995 01:04:56,851 --> 01:05:00,313 May all your endings be happy and... 996 01:05:00,397 --> 01:05:02,357 Well, you know the rest! 997 01:05:03,441 --> 01:05:06,611 We 7! Be right back with the royal far, fara way ball 998 01:05:06,694 --> 01:05:07,779 after these messages. 999 01:05:07,862 --> 01:05:10,156 I hate these ball shows. 1000 01:05:10,240 --> 01:05:13,326 They bore me to tears. Flip over to wheel of torture. 1001 01:05:13,410 --> 01:05:16,996 I'm not flipping anywhere, sir, until I see Shrek and Fiona. 1002 01:05:17,622 --> 01:05:19,833 Ah, whizzes on you guys. 1003 01:05:19,916 --> 01:05:22,001 Hey, mice, pass me a buffalo wing! 1004 01:05:22,085 --> 01:05:24,254 No, no, to your left. Your left! 1005 01:05:27,340 --> 01:05:30,510 - Tonight on knights... - Ah! Now here's a good show! 1006 01:05:30,593 --> 01:05:34,055 We got a white bronco heading east into the forest. Requesting backup. 1007 01:05:34,139 --> 01:05:36,826 Ltis time for the men in steel to teach these madcap mammals 1008 01:05:36,850 --> 01:05:38,935 their ”de vi/ may mare ” attitudes just won't fly. 1009 01:05:39,018 --> 01:05:41,271 All right, all n'ght! Let me go! 1010 01:05:41,354 --> 01:05:44,065 Why you grabbing me? Ow! Police brutality! Police brutality! 1011 01:05:44,149 --> 01:05:45,400 Come on! 1012 01:05:45,483 --> 01:05:48,278 - I have to talk to Princess Fiona! - We warned you. 1013 01:05:48,361 --> 01:05:49,487 Ow! Ow! 1014 01:05:49,571 --> 01:05:52,466 Will they get away with it or did someone let the cat out of the bag? 1015 01:05:52,490 --> 01:05:55,326 You, capitalist pig dogs! 1016 01:05:55,994 --> 01:05:58,329 Get it off/ 1017 01:05:59,414 --> 01:06:01,207 - Catnip. - That's, uh, not mine. 1018 01:06:01,291 --> 01:06:02,667 Hold on, all right? 1019 01:06:02,750 --> 01:06:05,170 - Find Princess Fiona! - Come on, guy. 1020 01:06:05,253 --> 01:06:06,254 I'm a donkey! 1021 01:06:06,337 --> 01:06:08,506 Tell her Shrek... I'm her husband, Shrek! 1022 01:06:08,590 --> 01:06:10,049 - Ow, ow! - Knights. 1023 01:06:10,133 --> 01:06:11,551 Quick! Rewind it! 1024 01:06:12,635 --> 01:06:15,180 Shrek... I'm her husband, Shrek! Ow, ow! 1025 01:06:43,124 --> 01:06:44,124 Darling? 1026 01:06:45,084 --> 01:06:47,253 Ah, I thought I might find you here. 1027 01:06:47,337 --> 01:06:50,381 How about a nice, hot cup of tea before the ball? 1028 01:06:51,966 --> 01:06:53,009 I'm not going. 1029 01:06:53,092 --> 01:06:56,638 B-B-But the... the whole kingdom's turned out to celebrate your marriage. 1030 01:06:56,721 --> 01:06:58,556 There's just one problem. 1031 01:06:58,640 --> 01:07:00,308 That's not my husband. 1032 01:07:01,684 --> 01:07:03,019 I mean, look at him. 1033 01:07:05,522 --> 01:07:10,235 Yes, he is a bit different, but, uh, people change for the ones they love. 1034 01:07:10,318 --> 01:07:13,446 You'd be surprised how much I changed for your mother. 1035 01:07:13,530 --> 01:07:14,656 Change? 1036 01:07:15,365 --> 01:07:17,575 He's completely lost his mind. 1037 01:07:17,659 --> 01:07:20,787 Darling, why not come down to the ball and give him another chance? 1038 01:07:20,870 --> 01:07:24,165 I mean, you might find you like this new Shrek. 1039 01:07:24,249 --> 01:07:26,918 But it's the old one I fell in love with, dad. 1040 01:07:28,127 --> 01:07:30,588 I'd give anything to have him back. 1041 01:07:33,841 --> 01:07:37,011 Uh, darling, that's mine. Decaf. 1042 01:07:37,095 --> 01:07:38,888 Othennise I'm up all night. 1043 01:07:45,144 --> 01:07:46,771 Mmm. Thanks. 1044 01:07:49,857 --> 01:07:54,362 I got to get out of here! You can't lock us up like this! Let me go! 1045 01:07:54,445 --> 01:07:55,738 What about my Miranda rights? 1046 01:07:55,822 --> 01:07:58,616 You're supposed to say I have the right to remain silent. 1047 01:07:58,700 --> 01:08:00,386 Nobody said I have the right to remain silent! 1048 01:08:00,410 --> 01:08:03,830 Donkey, you have the right to remain silent. 1049 01:08:03,913 --> 01:08:06,207 What you lack is the capacity. 1050 01:08:06,291 --> 01:08:09,711 I must hold on before I, too, go totally mad. 1051 01:08:10,211 --> 01:08:12,130 Shrek? Donkey? 1052 01:08:13,339 --> 01:08:14,674 Too late. 1053 01:08:14,757 --> 01:08:17,760 Gingy! Pinocchio! Get us out of here. 1054 01:08:18,469 --> 01:08:19,469 Oh! 1055 01:08:22,724 --> 01:08:25,393 Fire in the hole! 1056 01:08:44,579 --> 01:08:45,705 Look out below! 1057 01:08:48,166 --> 01:08:50,001 Quick, tell a lie. 1058 01:08:50,084 --> 01:08:52,837 - Well, uh, what should I say? - Anything, but quick! 1059 01:08:52,920 --> 01:08:55,107 Say something crazy like, "I'm wearing ladies' undennear." 1060 01:08:55,131 --> 01:08:58,134 I'm... I am wearing ladies' undennear. 1061 01:09:01,179 --> 01:09:03,014 Are you? 1062 01:09:03,097 --> 01:09:05,058 I most certainly am not! 1063 01:09:05,725 --> 01:09:07,810 It looks like you most certainly am are. 1064 01:09:07,894 --> 01:09:09,479 - I am not! - What kind? 1065 01:09:09,562 --> 01:09:11,064 - It's a thong! - Ow! 1066 01:09:11,147 --> 01:09:12,398 They're briefs. 1067 01:09:12,482 --> 01:09:13,858 - Are not. - Are too. 1068 01:09:13,941 --> 01:09:15,401 - Are not! - Are too! 1069 01:09:15,485 --> 01:09:17,612 Here we go. Hang tight. 1070 01:09:21,407 --> 01:09:23,868 Hey, wait, wait, wait! Ow, ow! Hey, hey, hey! 1071 01:09:23,951 --> 01:09:25,119 Ow! 1072 01:09:27,914 --> 01:09:30,041 - Excuse me? - What? Puss! 1073 01:09:30,124 --> 01:09:32,251 - Mm-hmm? - Pardon me, would you mind letting me go? 1074 01:09:32,335 --> 01:09:33,378 Sorry, boss. 1075 01:09:33,461 --> 01:09:36,172 Quit messing around. We've got to stop that kiss! 1076 01:09:36,255 --> 01:09:38,091 I thought you was going to let her go. 1077 01:09:38,174 --> 01:09:40,468 I was, but I can't let them do this to Fiona. 1078 01:09:40,551 --> 01:09:43,763 Boom! That's what I like to hear. Look who's finally coming around. 1079 01:09:43,846 --> 01:09:45,598 But that's impossible. We'll never get in. 1080 01:09:45,682 --> 01:09:48,142 The castle is guarded and there is a moat and everything! 1081 01:09:50,019 --> 01:09:54,607 Well, folks, it looks like we're up chocolate creek without a Popsicle stick. 1082 01:09:59,195 --> 01:10:00,530 What? 1083 01:10:00,613 --> 01:10:02,198 Do you still know the muffin man? 1084 01:10:02,824 --> 01:10:06,285 Well, sure. He's down on drury Lane. Why? 1085 01:10:06,369 --> 01:10:08,371 Because we're gonna need flour. 1086 01:10:09,163 --> 01:10:11,332 Lots and lots of flour. 1087 01:10:15,420 --> 01:10:16,713 Gingy! 1088 01:10:16,796 --> 01:10:21,175 Fire up the ovens, muffin man. We've got a big order to fill. 1089 01:10:25,346 --> 01:10:27,598 It's alive! 1090 01:10:30,601 --> 01:10:32,186 Whoa. 1091 01:10:36,816 --> 01:10:39,235 Run, run, run as fast you can! 1092 01:10:46,409 --> 01:10:48,494 Go, baby, go! 1093 01:10:50,288 --> 01:10:52,999 There it is, mongo. To the castle. 1094 01:10:53,082 --> 01:10:56,753 No, no, no, you great stupid pastry! 1095 01:10:56,836 --> 01:10:57,836 Come on! 1096 01:11:05,303 --> 01:11:07,889 - Mongo, down here. Look at the pony. - Ooh. 1097 01:11:07,972 --> 01:11:09,474 Oh! 1098 01:11:09,557 --> 01:11:11,976 That's right, follow the pretty pony. 1099 01:11:12,059 --> 01:11:14,771 Pretty pony wants to play at the castle. 1100 01:11:14,854 --> 01:11:16,022 Pretty pony. 1101 01:11:18,191 --> 01:11:22,028 Ladies and gentlemen, presenting Princess Fiona 1102 01:11:22,111 --> 01:11:25,323 and her new husband, prince Shrek. 1103 01:11:27,158 --> 01:11:29,285 Shrek, what are you doing? 1104 01:11:29,368 --> 01:11:31,871 I'm just playing the part, Fiona. 1105 01:11:32,705 --> 01:11:34,582 Is that glitter on your lips? 1106 01:11:34,665 --> 01:11:37,585 Mmm. Cherry flavored. Want to taste? 1107 01:11:37,668 --> 01:11:39,879 Ugh! What is with you? 1108 01:11:39,962 --> 01:11:41,380 But, muffin cake... 1109 01:11:44,717 --> 01:11:46,469 C minor, put it in c minor. 1110 01:11:47,762 --> 01:11:49,263 Ladies and gentlemen. 1111 01:11:51,808 --> 01:11:54,727 I'd like to dedicate this song to 1112 01:11:54,811 --> 01:11:58,856 Princess Fiona and prince Shrek. 1113 01:11:59,440 --> 01:12:01,025 Fiona, my Princess. 1114 01:12:01,108 --> 01:12:04,320 Will you honor me with a dance? 1115 01:12:04,403 --> 01:12:08,783 J” where have all the good men gone j” 1116 01:12:08,866 --> 01:12:11,202 j” and where are all the gods... j” 1117 01:12:11,285 --> 01:12:12,605 Dance! Dance! 1118 01:12:12,662 --> 01:12:16,874 J” wheres the streetwise Hercules j” 1119 01:12:16,958 --> 01:12:20,419 j” to fight the rising odds... j” 1120 01:12:23,422 --> 01:12:25,174 Since when do you dance? 1121 01:12:25,258 --> 01:12:28,094 Fiona, my dearest. If there's one thing I know, 1122 01:12:28,177 --> 01:12:31,430 it's that love is full of surprises. 1123 01:12:31,514 --> 01:12:34,183 J” late at night / toss and! Turn j” 1124 01:12:34,267 --> 01:12:40,147 j” and I dream of what I need... j” 1125 01:12:41,649 --> 01:12:42,650 hit it! 1126 01:12:43,359 --> 01:12:45,862 J” oh, oh j” 1127 01:12:45,945 --> 01:12:47,280 j” lneeda hero... j” 1128 01:12:47,947 --> 01:12:51,409 all right, big fellow! Let's crash this party! 1129 01:12:52,869 --> 01:12:54,579 Man the catapults! 1130 01:12:55,621 --> 01:12:57,540 Ready! Fire! 1131 01:12:58,541 --> 01:13:00,126 Brace yourselves! 1132 01:13:00,209 --> 01:13:01,711 Ooh, purty. 1133 01:13:09,010 --> 01:13:11,220 Not the gumdrop button! 1134 01:13:17,852 --> 01:13:19,437 Incoming! 1135 01:13:20,646 --> 01:13:22,148 All right! 1136 01:13:25,151 --> 01:13:30,865 J” somewhere after midnight in my wrldest fantasy... j” 1137 01:13:30,948 --> 01:13:32,533 go, mongo! Go! 1138 01:13:34,911 --> 01:13:37,413 Man the cauldrons! 1139 01:13:37,997 --> 01:13:43,210 J” racing on the thunder and rising with the heat j” 1140 01:13:43,294 --> 01:13:45,546 after you, mongo. 1141 01:13:48,424 --> 01:13:50,635 That's it. Heave! 1142 01:13:50,718 --> 01:13:52,845 - Foam! - Watch out! 1143 01:13:55,097 --> 01:13:56,474 Shrek! 1144 01:13:58,267 --> 01:14:02,063 More heat, less foam! 1145 01:14:02,146 --> 01:14:04,941 J” up where the mountains meet the heavens above j” 1146 01:14:05,024 --> 01:14:08,277 j” out where the lightning splits the sea j” 1147 01:14:08,361 --> 01:14:11,989 j” / could swear there is someone somewhere watching me... j” 1148 01:14:12,073 --> 01:14:14,158 Heave! 1149 01:14:14,825 --> 01:14:16,577 Foam! 1150 01:14:17,370 --> 01:14:19,413 [Gasps} 1151 01:14:21,999 --> 01:14:26,420 No! 1152 01:14:53,739 --> 01:14:55,282 Come on! 1153 01:14:55,366 --> 01:14:57,660 No, no! 1154 01:14:57,743 --> 01:15:00,329 Be good. 1155 01:15:02,415 --> 01:15:05,167 He needs me! Let me go! 1156 01:15:05,251 --> 01:15:07,003 J” I need a hero j” 1157 01:15:08,713 --> 01:15:09,713 Donkey. 1158 01:15:19,640 --> 01:15:21,017 Puss! 1159 01:15:24,061 --> 01:15:26,522 Go, go! Your lady needs you. Go! 1160 01:15:29,692 --> 01:15:31,777 Today, I repay my debt. 1161 01:15:37,324 --> 01:15:39,410 Aw. 1162 01:15:40,202 --> 01:15:42,163 En garde! 1163 01:15:46,000 --> 01:15:48,753 J” heis gotta be strong and he is gotta be fast j” 1164 01:15:48,836 --> 01:15:51,839 j” and heis gotta be fresh from the fight j” 1165 01:15:52,423 --> 01:15:54,383 -j” I need a hero j” -stop! 1166 01:15:59,930 --> 01:16:01,015 Hey, you. 1167 01:16:01,682 --> 01:16:04,435 - Back away from my wife. - Shrek? 1168 01:16:05,269 --> 01:16:09,857 You couldn't just go back to your swamp and leave well enough alone. 1169 01:16:09,940 --> 01:16:12,151 - Now! - Pigs und blanket! 1170 01:16:14,945 --> 01:16:16,489 Pinocchio, get the wand! 1171 01:16:16,572 --> 01:16:18,324 I see London. I see France. 1172 01:16:22,119 --> 01:16:24,246 I'm a real boy! 1173 01:16:31,587 --> 01:16:32,630 Ja! 1174 01:16:33,756 --> 01:16:34,840 Catch! 1175 01:16:35,758 --> 01:16:38,135 _ Donkey! 1176 01:16:39,845 --> 01:16:42,515 I'm a real boy. 1177 01:16:47,311 --> 01:16:49,688 That's mine! That's mine! 1178 01:16:53,359 --> 01:16:54,860 Pray for mercy, from puss... 1179 01:16:54,944 --> 01:16:56,695 And donkey! 1180 01:16:56,779 --> 01:16:59,490 She's taken the potion! Kiss her now! 1181 01:17:21,804 --> 01:17:22,804 Hi-yah! 1182 01:17:26,267 --> 01:17:28,269 - Fiona. - Shrek. 1183 01:17:28,352 --> 01:17:32,106 Harold, you were supposed to give her the potion! 1184 01:17:32,189 --> 01:17:36,193 Well, I guess I gave her the wrong tea. 1185 01:17:36,277 --> 01:17:38,195 - Mommy! - Mommy? 1186 01:17:39,363 --> 01:17:46,370 I told you, ogres don't live happily ever after. 1187 01:17:48,122 --> 01:17:48,956 Harold! 1188 01:17:49,039 --> 01:17:51,625 - Shrek! - No! 1189 01:17:56,463 --> 01:17:57,464 Ooh! 1190 01:18:05,639 --> 01:18:08,601 Oh... 1191 01:18:10,477 --> 01:18:11,520 Dad. 1192 01:18:12,021 --> 01:18:13,314 Daddy... 1193 01:18:15,691 --> 01:18:17,568 - Is he... - Yup. 1194 01:18:19,570 --> 01:18:20,696 He croaked. 1195 01:18:22,948 --> 01:18:24,158 Harold? 1196 01:18:24,241 --> 01:18:26,327 - Dad? - [Fighfl 1197 01:18:26,410 --> 01:18:30,331 - I'd hoped you'd never see me like this. - Man, and he gave you a hard time! 1198 01:18:30,414 --> 01:18:33,876 - Donkey! - No, no, he's right. I'm sorry... 1199 01:18:34,418 --> 01:18:35,544 To both of you. 1200 01:18:35,628 --> 01:18:38,297 I only wanted what was best for Fiona. 1201 01:18:39,423 --> 01:18:40,841 But I can see now 1202 01:18:41,800 --> 01:18:43,135 she already has it. 1203 01:18:44,303 --> 01:18:45,804 Shrek, Fiona, 1204 01:18:46,972 --> 01:18:50,601 will you accept an old frog's apologies 1205 01:18:51,477 --> 01:18:52,853 and my blessing? 1206 01:18:54,355 --> 01:18:56,774 - Harold... - I'm sorry, Lillian. 1207 01:18:56,857 --> 01:19:00,194 I just wish I could be the man you deserve. 1208 01:19:01,654 --> 01:19:05,449 You're more that man today than you ever were, 1209 01:19:05,532 --> 01:19:06,659 warts and all. 1210 01:19:10,079 --> 01:19:12,998 Boss, the happily ever after potion! 1211 01:19:13,082 --> 01:19:14,166 Midnight! 1212 01:19:15,292 --> 01:19:18,045 Fiona, is this what you want? 1213 01:19:19,255 --> 01:19:22,216 - To be this way forever? - What? 1214 01:19:22,299 --> 01:19:23,801 'Cause if you kiss me now, 1215 01:19:24,969 --> 01:19:26,470 we can stay like this. 1216 01:19:26,553 --> 01:19:28,973 You'd do that? 1217 01:19:29,974 --> 01:19:31,850 - For me? - Yes. 1218 01:19:40,734 --> 01:19:42,903 I want what any Princess wants, 1219 01:19:43,737 --> 01:19:45,948 to live happily ever after... 1220 01:19:50,452 --> 01:19:52,955 With the ogre I married. 1221 01:19:55,874 --> 01:19:59,086 Whatever happens, I must not cry. 1222 01:19:59,169 --> 01:20:01,005 You cannot make me cry. 1223 01:20:25,154 --> 01:20:26,739 No. No. 1224 01:20:26,822 --> 01:20:28,115 No, no. No! 1225 01:20:30,159 --> 01:20:31,493 No. No! 1226 01:20:33,037 --> 01:20:34,455 Oh, no. 1227 01:20:45,007 --> 01:20:46,675 Ugh. 1228 01:20:51,430 --> 01:20:55,267 Hey, you still look like a noble steed to me. 1229 01:20:58,604 --> 01:21:02,524 Now, where were we? 1230 01:21:02,608 --> 01:21:04,610 Ooh! I remember. 1231 01:21:12,868 --> 01:21:15,704 Isn't we supposed to be having a fiesta? 1232 01:21:15,788 --> 01:21:17,373 Uno, dos, cuatro, hit it! 1233 01:21:24,630 --> 01:21:26,090 Puss and donkey, y'all... 1234 01:21:26,173 --> 01:21:29,176 J” she is into superstitions j” 1235 01:21:29,259 --> 01:21:31,261 j” black cats and voodoo dolls j” 1236 01:21:31,345 --> 01:21:34,640 - sing it, puss! - J” / feel a premonition j” 1237 01:21:34,723 --> 01:21:36,892 j” that girl is gonna make me fall j” 1238 01:21:38,894 --> 01:21:39,978 here we go! 1239 01:21:40,062 --> 01:21:42,731 J” she is into new sensations j” 1240 01:21:42,815 --> 01:21:45,192 J” new kicks in the candlelightj” 1241 01:21:45,275 --> 01:21:48,237 j” she is got a new addiction j” 1242 01:21:48,320 --> 01:21:50,531 j” for every day and night j” 1243 01:21:50,614 --> 01:21:55,744 j” she 7! Make you take your clothes ofi and go dancing in the rain j” 1244 01:21:55,828 --> 01:22:00,874 j” she 7! Make you live her crazy life but she 7! Take away your pain j” 1245 01:22:00,958 --> 01:22:04,002 j” like a bullet to your brain j” 1246 01:22:04,086 --> 01:22:08,924 j” upside, inside out sheis livin'la vida loca... j” 1247 01:22:10,426 --> 01:22:11,593 hey, gorgeous! 1248 01:22:12,094 --> 01:22:14,721 J” livin'la vida loca j” 1249 01:22:14,805 --> 01:22:19,601 j” her lips are devil red and her skin is the color mocha j” 1250 01:22:19,685 --> 01:22:22,896 - what she do? - J” she will wear you outj” 1251 01:22:22,980 --> 01:22:24,690 j” livin'la vida loca j” 1252 01:22:24,773 --> 01:22:27,025 - She living it loca! - J” livin'la vida loca j” 1253 01:22:27,109 --> 01:22:30,779 - sing it one more time now! - J” sheis livin'la vida loca j” 1254 01:22:35,742 --> 01:22:38,328 Ow! Ay, donkey, that's Spanish! 1255 01:22:38,412 --> 01:22:39,496 Break it down! 1256 01:22:39,997 --> 01:22:44,168 J” she 7! Push and pull you down livin'la vida loca j” 1257 01:22:44,251 --> 01:22:49,339 j” she will wear you out livin'la vida loca j” 1258 01:22:49,882 --> 01:22:52,259 j” livin'la vida loca j” 1259 01:22:52,342 --> 01:22:57,681 j” she 7! Push and pull you down livin'la vida loca j” 1260 01:22:57,764 --> 01:23:03,103 j” her lips are devil red and her skin is the color mocha j” 1261 01:23:03,187 --> 01:23:06,440 j” she will wear you out j” 1262 01:23:06,523 --> 01:23:08,692 j” livin'la vida loca j” 1263 01:23:08,775 --> 01:23:11,361 j” livin'la vida loca j” 1264 01:23:11,445 --> 01:23:13,989 - j” livin'la vida loca j” -Sing it one more time, now! 1265 01:23:14,072 --> 01:23:16,700 J” livin'la vida loca j” 1266 01:23:25,292 --> 01:23:29,755 J” where have all the good men gone? And where are all the gods? J” 1267 01:23:29,838 --> 01:23:34,259 j” whereis the street-wise Hercules to fight the rising odds? J” 1268 01:23:34,968 --> 01:23:39,056 j” isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed? J” 1269 01:23:39,765 --> 01:23:43,727 j” late at night / toss and turn and dream of what I need j” 1270 01:23:43,810 --> 01:23:45,562 j” I need a hero j” 1271 01:23:45,646 --> 01:23:48,649 j” I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light j” 1272 01:23:48,732 --> 01:23:51,026 j” heis gotta be sure and it is gotta be soon j” 1273 01:23:51,109 --> 01:23:54,905 -j” and he is gotta be larger than life j” -j” larger than life j” 1274 01:23:58,784 --> 01:24:03,163 j” somewhere after midnight in my wrldest fantasy j” 1275 01:24:03,247 --> 01:24:07,793 j” somewhere just beyond my reach there is someone reaching back for me j” 1276 01:24:08,544 --> 01:24:12,381 j” racing on the thunder rising with the heat j” 1277 01:24:13,173 --> 01:24:17,344 j” ltis gonna take a Superman to sweep me ofi m y feet j” 1278 01:24:17,427 --> 01:24:19,137 j” I need a hero j” 1279 01:24:19,221 --> 01:24:22,224 j” I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light j” 1280 01:24:22,307 --> 01:24:24,726 j” heis gotta be sure and it is gotta be soon j” 1281 01:24:24,810 --> 01:24:28,689 -j” and he is gotta be larger than life j” -j” larger than life j” 1282 01:24:33,193 --> 01:24:36,446 J” all by myse/fj” 1283 01:24:37,072 --> 01:24:38,323 j” don't wanna be j” 1284 01:24:38,407 --> 01:24:42,744 j” all by myself anymore j” 1285 01:24:42,828 --> 01:24:46,790 amigo, we are off to the kit-Kat club. Come on, join us. 1286 01:24:46,873 --> 01:24:50,419 Oh, thanks, compadre. I'm... I'm just not in the mood. 1287 01:24:50,502 --> 01:24:54,631 We will cheer you up. Find you a nice, uh, burro. 1288 01:24:54,715 --> 01:24:56,633 [Gasps} 1289 01:24:56,717 --> 01:24:58,135 hey, baby! 1290 01:24:58,218 --> 01:24:59,219 Whoo! 1291 01:24:59,303 --> 01:25:02,889 Hey, that's my girl! Yeah! All right! 1292 01:25:03,724 --> 01:25:04,891 Baby, where you been? 1293 01:25:06,184 --> 01:25:10,188 I'm sorry too. I should have stayed, but Shrek had this thing he had to do... 1294 01:25:10,272 --> 01:25:11,732 What? Say that one more time. 1295 01:25:11,815 --> 01:25:13,900 What you talking about? Are you serious? 1296 01:25:14,526 --> 01:25:16,278 [Gasps} 1297 01:25:25,454 --> 01:25:27,456 Look at our little mutant babies! 1298 01:25:30,459 --> 01:25:31,752 I got to get a job. 1299 01:25:37,549 --> 01:25:40,302 J” I'm strange and you're strange j” 1300 01:25:40,969 --> 01:25:43,555 j” don't want you to change j” 1301 01:25:43,639 --> 01:25:46,350 j” no wayj” 1302 01:25:46,433 --> 01:25:49,478 j”ahhahaahj” 1303 01:25:51,104 --> 01:25:53,940 j” why can't / explain? J” 1304 01:25:54,024 --> 01:25:56,902 j” flying to the sun without a plane j” 1305 01:25:56,985 --> 01:26:00,030 j” when you're here j” 1306 01:26:00,113 --> 01:26:03,116 j”ahhahaahj” 1307 01:26:03,992 --> 01:26:10,666 j” and don't you worry 'bout me, babe j” 1308 01:26:10,749 --> 01:26:17,756 j” 'cause I'm right here for you to sayj” 1309 01:26:21,718 --> 01:26:25,055 j” hope you know you inspire me j” 1310 01:26:25,138 --> 01:26:27,557 j” you're a fiower and I'm a bee j” 1311 01:26:27,641 --> 01:26:30,644 j” I need you j” 1312 01:26:30,727 --> 01:26:33,897 j”ahhahaahj” 1313 01:26:35,357 --> 01:26:38,652 j” all this you do for free j” 1314 01:26:38,735 --> 01:26:41,029 j” give me hope and / can see j” 1315 01:26:41,113 --> 01:26:44,282 j” you're so true j” 1316 01:26:44,366 --> 01:26:47,285 j”ahhahaahj” 1317 01:26:48,537 --> 01:26:52,833 j” and don't you worry 'bout me, babe j” 1318 01:26:52,916 --> 01:26:55,377 j” don't you worry 'bout me j” 1319 01:26:55,460 --> 01:27:02,467 j” 'cause I'm right there for you to say j” 1320 01:27:06,012 --> 01:27:09,349 j” you're strange and I'm strange j” 1321 01:27:09,433 --> 01:27:12,269 j” don't want you to change j” 1322 01:27:12,352 --> 01:27:14,896 j” no wayj” 1323 01:27:14,980 --> 01:27:17,983 j”ahahahahj” 1324 01:27:18,900 --> 01:27:23,488 j” and don't you worry 'bout me, babe j” 1325 01:27:23,572 --> 01:27:25,741 j” don't you worry 'bout me j” 1326 01:27:25,824 --> 01:27:32,414 j” 'cause I'm right here for you to sayj” 1327 01:27:32,497 --> 01:27:37,544 j” to sayj” 1328 01:27:50,849 --> 01:27:54,853 J” won't you take me to f unkyto wn? J” 1329 01:27:54,936 --> 01:27:58,273 j” won't you take me to f unkyto wn? J” 1330 01:27:58,815 --> 01:28:02,319 j” won't you take me to f unkyto wn? J” 1331 01:28:02,819 --> 01:28:06,281 j” won't you take me to f unkyto wn? J” 1332 01:28:38,021 --> 01:28:41,858 J” won't you take me to f unkyto wn? J” 1333 01:28:41,942 --> 01:28:45,278 j” won't you take me to f unkyto wn? J” 1334 01:28:45,904 --> 01:28:49,783 j” won't you take me to f unkyto wn? J” 1335 01:28:49,866 --> 01:28:53,662 j” won't you take me down to f unkyto wn? J” 1336 01:28:53,745 --> 01:28:57,624 -j” won't you take me to j” -j” funkytown j” 1337 01:28:57,707 --> 01:29:01,503 -j” won't you take me to j” -j” funkytown? J” 1338 01:29:01,586 --> 01:29:05,507 -j” won't you take me to j” -j” funkytown? J” 1339 01:29:05,590 --> 01:29:09,469 -j” won't you take me to j” -j” funkytown? J” 1340 01:29:29,489 --> 01:29:34,536 J” well, / talk about it, talk about it talk about it, talk about it j” 1341 01:29:37,873 --> 01:29:42,460 j” talk about, talk about talk about mo vin ' j” 1342 01:29:45,881 --> 01:29:47,299 j” gotta move on j” 1343 01:29:49,801 --> 01:29:51,219 j” gotta move on j” 1344 01:30:02,105 --> 01:30:05,191 J” she said I've gotta be honest j” 1345 01:30:05,275 --> 01:30:09,195 j” you're wasting your time if you're fishing round here j” 1346 01:30:10,572 --> 01:30:14,034 j” and / said you must be mistaken j” 1347 01:30:14,117 --> 01:30:17,787 j” I'm not fooling, this feeling is real j” 1348 01:30:19,456 --> 01:30:22,459 j” she said you've gotta be crazyj” 1349 01:30:22,542 --> 01:30:28,048 j” what do you take me for? Some kind of easy Mark? J” 1350 01:30:28,131 --> 01:30:30,175 j” you've got wits, you've got looks j” 1351 01:30:30,258 --> 01:30:34,763 j” you've got passion but / swear that you've got me all wrong j” 1352 01:30:35,513 --> 01:30:37,349 j” all wrong j” 1353 01:30:39,768 --> 01:30:43,063 j” all wrong j” 1354 01:30:44,064 --> 01:30:46,066 j” but you've got me j” 1355 01:30:49,319 --> 01:30:51,947 j” ll! Be true, I'll be useful j” 1356 01:30:52,030 --> 01:30:54,574 j” h! Be ca valierj” 1357 01:30:54,658 --> 01:30:56,910 j” ll! Be yours, my dearj” 1358 01:30:56,993 --> 01:31:00,246 j” and I'i/ belong to you j” 1359 01:31:00,330 --> 01:31:04,542 j” if you 7! Just let me through j” 1360 01:31:06,336 --> 01:31:09,339 j” this is easy as lovers go j” 1361 01:31:09,422 --> 01:31:14,177 j” so don't complicate it by hesitating j” 1362 01:31:14,260 --> 01:31:17,973 j” and this is wonderful as lo vr'ng goes j” 1363 01:31:18,056 --> 01:31:22,894 j” this is tailor-made what is the sense in waiting j” 1364 01:31:22,978 --> 01:31:26,189 j” and / said I've gotta be honest j” 1365 01:31:26,272 --> 01:31:29,985 j” I've been waiting for you all my life j” 1366 01:31:31,277 --> 01:31:34,948 j” for so long I thought / was asylum bound j” 1367 01:31:35,031 --> 01:31:38,868 j” but just seeing you makes me think twice j” 1368 01:31:40,328 --> 01:31:43,456 j” you've got wits, you've got looks you've got passion j” 1369 01:31:43,540 --> 01:31:47,168 j” but are you brave enough to leave with me tonight j” 1370 01:31:47,794 --> 01:31:49,754 j” tonightj” 1371 01:31:52,007 --> 01:31:55,593 j” tonightj” 1372 01:31:56,219 --> 01:31:58,221 j” but you've got me j” 1373 01:32:01,599 --> 01:32:04,269 j” ll! Be true, I'll be useful j” 1374 01:32:04,352 --> 01:32:08,940 j” ll! Be cavalier ll! Be yours, my dearj” 1375 01:32:09,024 --> 01:32:12,402 j” and I'i/ belong to you j” 1376 01:32:12,485 --> 01:32:17,115 j” if you 7! Just let me through j” 1377 01:32:18,533 --> 01:32:21,536 j” this is easy as lovers go j” 1378 01:32:21,619 --> 01:32:26,499 j” so don't complicate it by hesitating j” 1379 01:32:26,583 --> 01:32:30,170 j” and this is wonderful as lo vr'ng goes j” 1380 01:32:30,253 --> 01:32:37,260 j” this is tailor-made what is the sense in waiting j” 1380 01:32:38,305 --> 01:33:38,408 Please rate this subtitle at www.osdb.link/azm9y Help other users to choose the best subtitles 105361