All language subtitles for Malcolm in the Middle (2000) - S02E15 - The Grandparents (1080p AMZN WEB-DL x265 Silence)-eng

Great pancakes, Dad.

Oh, thanks.

Hey, who's ready for seconds?

I am.

♪ Yes, no, maybe

♪ I don't know

♪ Can you repeat the question?

♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪

♪ You're not
the boss of me now ♪

♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪

♪ And you're not so big

♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪

♪ You're not
the boss of me now ♪

♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪

♪ And you're not so big

♪ Life is unfair.

So, which one
of these pinks

do you want
to let float this month--

cable or Visa?

Oh, we can probably
go without cable.

You know,
it might be fun.

We'll get together
as a family,

play board games,
sing songs.

Okay, you made
your point.

We'll pay the cable.

Oh... for crying
out loud.

The freezer's
out again.

What?!

We just had that fixed.

I know, the stupid
piece of junk.

Oh...

It's only five
years old.

How could it keep
breaking down?

Aw, man!

I'll go get the ice chest
from the garage,

providing that still works.

REESE:
Nuh-uh!

MALCOLM:
Uh-huh!

We'll let Mom settle this.

The loser licks
the tub drain.
Deal.

Mom, whose
tongue's longer?

Are you going to make us
stand out here all day?!

Mom! Dad!

:
Oh, my God, honey!

Your parents are here!

Oh, God.

Dewey, your grandparents
are here.

Hey, come on in.

So, this
is certainly
unexpected.

What brings you
all the way down
from Canada?

Wait a minute,
this can't be Reese.

Yep.

Uh, what's the matter with you?

Don't you clean
behind your ears?

Look what I found!

Ha-ha, five bucks!

Thanks, Grandpa.

So, Grandpa, did you
have a nice drive down?

Huh?
I said, did you have
a nice drive down?

I can't hear this one.
He sounds like girl.

So, you just decided
to hop in the car

and drive on down
from Canada

without calling ahead, huh?

How fun!

Yeah, how long do you
think you'll be staying?

If we're such big
inconvenience,
we go right now.

No.
No, no, no, no, no.

Please...
Don't be silly.

Uh, Dewey, you remember
your grandparents,

don't you, sweetie?

He needs changing.

He always needs changing.

You take him.

Ooh, let him sit in it.

That will teach him.

I don't want to take him;
he smells.

Ooh, that's what happens
to little boys who squirm.

Mmm...

REPORTER:
It's estimated that as many
as 30,000 young people

have descended on New Orleans

to join in the annual
Mardi Gras festivities.

At this hour police have been
called in to try and...

Look at those animals
going berserk,

tearing each other's
clothes off.

Those are people

with no respect
for authority.

Eric's right,
that could be us.

If we left right now

we could be
in New Orleans
in five hours.

How we going
to get there?

And where are
we going to stay?

Gentlemen, you
quibble with me

about logistics
when I'm offering
you 48 hours

of non-stop debauchery?

This could be the greatest
weekend of our lives.

Damn, Francis,

you should have
known better

than to eat sushi
at a truck stop.

Hey, the cashier said
the yellowtail was fresh.

Besides, my octopus
was excellent.

Can we not talk about
the fish, please?

Guys, it's like a war zone
out there.

There's looting,
rioting, and now

the cops are turning
a fire hose on the crowd.

ALL:
Wet T-shirts!

Sorry about the takeout.

I don't know what the deal
is with the fridge.

What do you expect?

That brand is dishufka.

That's it.

Fatten up on pizza.

Good luck running

when they come with
the dogs and chase
you into the hills.

You know, I think
it's great

you're able to
just hit the road

without a care
in the world.

Oh... right...
yeah, with me

I'm always thinking
about things back home.

You know, did I
leave the stove on?

Is the iron plugged in?

I once heard of a fire
being caused by a mouse

chewing through an...

Where is my coffee?

Uh, it's right here, Dad,
just the way you like it.

Mom, I really wish

you'd put out that cigarette.

It's not good
for the kids.

What, you think
it'll stunt their growth?

You turned out big enough.

Look at him eat,
like animal!

Not like Mr. Pizza

with knife and fork.

You know, Dad,

since the last time
you were here,

uh, Malcolm has been
put into a special class.

I'm not surprised.

No, no, no, no,
no, it's, uh,

it's an advanced class.

It's very challenging work.

Tell him, Malcolm.

Well, today we finished
reading Grapes of Wrath

and we're studying
advanced algebra.

:
What is that,
shot at me?

I no study algebra?

It's because I go to war
when I was your age.

What good is math
in war, huh?

When you can provide
for your family,

you can have
last piece of pizza.

Dad, Hal provides
for us just fine.

Which isn't easy when someone's
hogging all the pizza.

You can't even keep food
in the house

for my grandchild.

Do you call that providing?

We will get
the refrigerator fixed.

For what, so
it can break again?

What does a new one cost?

$700, $800?

I give you $800
to buy a new one!

Thank God our generation knew
to save our money, to hold onto.

We didn't fritter it away
on things like toys and dolls.

I dressed up
piece of wood

and I was happy
to have it.

We will not take your money.

Of course you will!

We love you too much to stand by

and watch your children
grow up ashamed of you.

This is what family
is for.

MALCOLM :
Hello.

FRANCIS:
Malcolm, listen,

I need to know what Mom
used to put in the hot tea

when we were sick.

Is she around?

I think she's changing
the sheets on their bed.

Grandma and Grandpa are here.

:
Oh, you're kidding.

So, did they knock,
or did you just hear

their cloven hooves
clatter up the driveway?

I can't be sure,
but I think Grandpa spit at me.

Look, don't take it personally.

They're primeval creatures
with tiny little hearts.

Yeah, but there must be
some reason...

Malcolm, they have
stupid lizard brains.

They're threatened by anyone

with an ounce of ambition
or intelligence.

They'd eat you
if they had better teeth.

This one, always on phone.

That's Grandpa, isn't it?

Tell him I said he's
a malevolent, poisonous troll.

Francis says, "Hi."

No-good delinquent.

He says "Hi" back.

LOIS:
No, absolutely not.

I will not let you
take their money.

Why not?

Because they'll never
let you forget

that they had to give you $800.

They'll use it to try
to humiliate you.

They do that now.

Lois, come on, I know what
your folks think of me.

We need the fridge.

We can't store the meat
on the porch forever.

I'm big enough to take one
for the team.

What?

You're better than all of us.

Oh...

TOY:
Cuckoo, cuckoo, cuckoo!

We can't do this
on Dewey's bed.

Reese's looks okay.

Thank you.

Hmm.

Do you know this thing
makes ice cubes

in both circular
and crescent shapes?

How do they expect
people to decide?

Well, it's nice to have

something in the house
that works.

Yeah.

You know, maybe
in their dark,
twisted world,

this is how your
parents show love.

Hey, Victor,
pretty great, huh?

My descending
colon's inflamed.

What's great?

Uh, listen, Dad,

I just mailed off

the mortgage
and car payments,

and what with buying
the new refrigerator and all,

we should probably get
that check from you right away.

About that... your mother
and I decided it's no good

for family to give money
to family.

Always ends badly.

Pulp!

Who buys orange juice with pulp?

How can they do this?!

How can they just
offer us money

and then pretend
it never happened?

I am going to kill them.

I swear I'm going to snap
their necks like chickens!

That is not going
to pay off the debt, Lois.

Unless you're
a beneficiary

on some sort
of life insurance policy.

What am I saying?

Look, look,
why don't we just

return the refrigerator?

I can't.
I bought it on sale.

Oh, Hal, what
are we going to do?

Well, what choice
do we have?

For the next
couple of weeks,

until we get caught back up,

we're just going to have
to work a ton of overtime.

Oh, really?

And who's going to look
after the kids?

So, we thought
the perfect thing
might be

if you could stay
a little longer

and keep an eye
on the kids.

I don't know.

Mother and I should go.

We sense tension.

No!

Oh, no!

Oh, no, no, no, there's
no, there's no tension.

We just, uh, we have
a couple of hectic
weeks coming up

and we just hoped
that you could stay
a little longer.

Of course.

We do anything for you.

We are a family.

Oh, Dewey, hey, guess what.

Grandma and Grandpa

are going to stay
and watch you guys

for the next
couple of weeks.

How you doing, Francis?

I need a doctor.

We got you something better,
man.

We brought you beads!

You wouldn't believe it
out there, Francis.

There's free beer

and the women take
their tops off

when you give them beads.

Is it possible we crashed
our car on the way down here

and died and went to heaven?

I'd welcome death right now.

I can't believe this is you
talking, Francis.

You're our leader.

If it wasn't for you,
we wouldn't even be here.

You know what?

You're right.

This is Mardi Gras.

I can do this.

Yeah.
All right.

Give me those beads.

Yeah!
Come on!

ALL :
Francis! Francis!

Francis! Francis! Francis!

Thank God we found a hotel
with a drain in the hallway.

We're back.

Still no parents?

If you're going to work
all the time,

don't have children.

Hey, I wanted ice cream.
I don't blame you.

Why do they always do that?

They take you for ice cream
and stuff and never ask me.

I've thought about that.

And I think they see me as
the protector of the bloodline.

If the future's half as bad
as Grandpa and I suspect,

the only survivors are going
to be mutants,

cockroaches and me...

all living underwater.

Let's face it:
they're backing a winner.

Oh, man, I'm stuffed.

I shouldn't have
had a second one.

Are you okay, Grandma?

'Cause I could carry
your purse for you.

Or maybe your whiskey.

I once strangled a border guard
with my bare hands.

Just asking.

So, I studied about
your country in school.

Always with the books.

You won't be happy till
you get eye cancer.

No, really.

I found the folklore
very interesting.

And the history, the wars,
the revolution.

It must've been very hard
for you growing up.

It was.

Very hard.

Have a snort.

Maybe later.

Hey, look at
the mama's boy.

You going to take that?
What?

Hey, you boys!

Come back here
and say that.

Grandma, what
are you doing?

Who's this?
Your 90-year-old bodyguard?

No, no, it's okay.

She's kidding.

Nushkaya zibhat shinka!

Ow!

Grandma.

Oh, geez.

I don't know why you won't
tell me who did this.

You know, there's no honor
in protecting a bully.

Okay, it's your face.

Mom, do you...?

Do you like your parents?

It doesn't matter
how I feel about them.

It's not like I can
trade them in for someone else.

You can't pick your parents.

You're pretty much stuck
with who you get.

I know.

Anyway, they're certainly
not going to change.

If things get too difficult,

at least I can be grateful
that soon they'll be gone.

Back to their own home?

Yeah.

That's what I meant.

Never thought
I'd beat you home.

They had us keep
both registers open
till midnight.

What kind of idiot
needs a beach ball

at 11:00 at night?

Did you make
the kids' lunches?

Oh, right.
No, not yet.

I've been kind of
tied up here.

You know, I discovered something
kind of interesting, yeah.

Now, it appears
the circular cubes cool quicker,

but the crescent ones
last longer.

Oh, for God's sake, Hal,
will you quit playing around?

That is a rectal thermometer.

I'm going to go brush my teeth.

You know, I ask you
to do one simple thing.

I can't do it all myself,
you know?

Hey.

Are you upset
about something?

Look, I'm tired.
I just got off a double shift.

I want to go to bed.

Sure.

You just seemed a little
snappish about the cubes.

Because I'm tired of you
not helping out around here.

All right, Lois.

I know we're both
a little raw from
the last five days,

but that's no reason

to dump your frustration
with your parents onto me.

On you?
Oh, yes.

Because that's what
this is all about.

You're angry at them

and you're displacing
your anger onto me.

I mean, it is classic.

Oh, I'm displacing, am I?

Kind of like how you're
focusing all your attention

on that monstrosity
in the kitchen?

See, I knew it!

You don't like
the refrigerator.

I hate that refrigerator.

I hate its tubular handles.

I hate the way
it keeps the butter.

I hate that, when
I'm trying to sleep,

I can hear it whirring.

Oh, no, you can't.

Yes, yes, I can.

No. Not the 5100.

That motor housing is
four layers thick, Lois.

Four layers.

And it keeps things too cold.

That is unfounded
criticism, Lois.

Unfounded and unfair.

And until you apologize,
I will be in the garage.

IDA:
I told you there was tension.

Hey, Grandma.

Grandpa wanted to
know if you could...

Ow!

What was that for?

See, you not even try
to defend yourself.

Why are you so weak?

I wasn't expecting
for you to hit me.

That's what
they're counting on

when they kick down your door
in the middle of the night.
Ow!

Grandma, stop this.

Come on, show me what you got.
Come on, come on.

Grandma, I'm not
going to hit you.

A kid should never
have to say that.

So how you going
to fight these people

when they throw you in the truck
and take you away?

You going to read to them?

You going to impress them
to death

with your giant
know-it-all brain?

Huh?

Look, I'm smart, okay?
That's who I am.

And if you don't
like the fact

that I'm taking
high school math classes

and reading great books,

well, too bad.

Because I'm going
to be successful
and maybe even rich

because I am smart,
okay?

So just leave me alone.

And I'm going
to be just fine!

Ow.

Ha!

I warned you
about the eyes.

What's this about?

I want to show you
something.

Something just for you.

I have waited many years
for this moment,

but now that
you are old enough,

I want to give you
something

close to my heart.

Wow, is this stuff real?

From the big war.

Wow, is this a
real gas mask?

Gas mask, yes.

Field glasses...

chocolate K-rations.

You get yourself nice girl
with this, I tell you.

This is so awesome,
Grandpa.

You're the best.

This is so cool.

God in heaven!

What?!

This is live grenade!

Do not let go of handle
or we both die.

I don't want to die!

Don't worry, you won't.

All we have to do
is find, find the pin.

Find the pin,
put the pin back in,

and then everything
will fine.

Quit crying like baby.

What's going on?

Grandpa gave me
a live grenade.

It's really cool.
You want to hold it?

No, no, no.
It's for you, not him.

Oh, my God, we have
to call the police.

No, no police.

No police, please.

There's no reason to panic.

Yes, there is.

You gave Reese a live grenade,
and he's a total idiot.

He's right, I am.

I don't think I should
have it anymore. Here.

No, you hold on to that.

No, I'm tired of this game.

I think what I really want
to do is go lie down now.

No!

Hello.

What was that?

What was what?

What happened here?!

We can't be sure.

Grandpa gave me
a live grenade

and it was going to blow

and I didn't mean
to drop it.

But Malcolm threw it
in the fridge.

You gave my son
a live grenade?

You brought live ammunition
into this house?

What is the matter
with you people?!

Are you completely insane?!

You don't ever talk to us
like that, do you hear me?

Vuschka robotisch
ber doya kraup.

Mom, I-I...

I just... I-I just
mean that...

All right, all right.

Lois, take the boys
in the other room.

But, Hal...
Now.

Come on.

Why don't we sit down?

First off, I'm not here
to try to sort out

the complicated relationship
you have with the woman I love.

That's not my place.

And I know it would be folly
to try to put a price

on the deep
psychological trauma

that you've caused Lois
through the years.

But let me take
a stab at it anyway.

$3,000 sound okay to you?
What?

Well, that would pretty much
cover the fridge,

the collateral damage,
pay off a few credit cards,

and finally get the transmission
fixed on my car.

Because of
what just happened,

you want us
to loan you $3,000?

Please, I know you're
uncomfortable lending to family,

so let's be clear.

With one phone call, I could
have your asses thrown in jail

for child endangerment.

So... this money
I'm asking for, it's not a loan.

It's blackmail.

It's like your brother
Vasclev all over again.

Come on, Francis.
We got to hit the road

or we're not going
to make bed check.

I don't care.

I came all the way
to New Orleans,

I got all these beads...

I'm not leaving
until I get some action.

Now, if you don't mind,
I need the room.

Okay, I'm good.