All language subtitles for Gossip.Girl.2021.S02E10.I.Am.Gossip.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-NTb

Greetings,
followers. Do you feel it?

The aftershocks
from my bomb's direct hits

in Hudson yesterday
are still reverberating

through all five boroughs.

But don't blame me...

...for that unsteady sensation
below your feet.

That, my dear followers,
is the feeling of regret.

Maybe it was that wrong thing
you did for the right reason,

but now, somehow just feels
even more wrong.

Tenth time's the charm?

- Shit.
- He said no?

- Worse.
- He blocked us?

Or maybe it's something

even worse than regret...

Remorse.

Remorse for the things
we didn't know we did

until it was too late.

Morning, Mother.

I know there's nothing
you love more

than destroying people
over a London Fog latte, so...

Um, if you ever need a break,

I can help you
narrow down the list.

Outing Gossip Girl is
a job I need done correctly.

I can't risk your imprecise
hands ruining it

like they do everything else
you touch,

including this latte.

But lucky for you,
I'm here to keep an eye out

for any regrets in the making.

Which brings me
to my final word of caution.

If anyone thinks
they can stop my mission,

I regret to inform you,
I'm unstoppable now.

Gotta get going. My manager said
if I'm late again,

they'll assign me
to the Staten Island Mall.

Unbelievable.
Ever since we got Helena,

kids have been turning
on their parents

and sending incredible tips
from everywhere.

Seriously, Kate?

Camille de Haan has
your name on a list

she's narrowing down
by the second.

The more you post, the more
you're playing with fire.

People have tried
to expose us before

and we managed to get out clean.

Sure, if your definition
includes blackmail, bounties,

and you getting
literally black-bagged.

Exactly. If we survived
Georgina Sparks,

we can survive anything.

We'll figure it out,
just like we always have.

Maybe we've been each other's
good luck charm all along.

You know
what they say about luck.

It favors the bold.

It always runs out.

No, we just wanna talk.

Fine. Speak.

Look, we get you're upset,
but blocking us like bots?

- Really?
- Whoa, whoa. You hurt me.

Therefore, I get to respond
however I see fit.

The block was to buy
myself some space

and time to think
things through.

I deserve that much, don't I?

Well, how long?

Time.

Um, can we just come in
for a little bit?

No. And space. And this goes
for you two as well, right?

All for all or none for none?

Oh, yeah. Of course. Um...

Does this start now or...

Right. So we give him
space until he's ready to talk,

which means
we also give each other space.

To be clear, this is not
a free pass to kiss Ingrid.

She kissed me.
And I already told you that.

I'm still hurt, babe.

Did you feel the same way

when we made Max
hook up with other people?

Did you?

I hope you didn't rush them off
on my account.

Perhaps we're all due
for a little catch-up, no?

You will go nowhere near them.

Maxy, Maxy, Maxy,
I'd hoped last night

would be the B12 shot
in the ass you needed

to shoot you out of this.

What is that
even supposed to mean, Heidi?

Enough morose Max.

If you won't bring
the old one back, I will.

No. No one can ever know
about this, okay?

I was... I was drunk,
and I was hurt.

And I just...
I wasn't in my right mind.

And you were just waiting
for my guard to come down.

And come it did.

I say we let Gossip Girl decide.

And now that she knows
what you did,

soon everyone will.

Enjoy the waning moments
of monoga-Max.

I don't get it.
Why is this such a big deal?

I've never been invited
to the Met Gala before.

Max has because of Gideon,
and Aki has because of his dad.

But for me to get this?

Thank you. That was made clear
the first three times.

De Haan HR.

In case I've forgotten
that I'm not allowed

within 20 feet of the building.

The litigious cherry on top,
my personal items

are under review on suspicion
of stealing company property.

Sounds like you need a signature
Nick Lott breakfast.

I know
it always make me feel better.

Nothing like turkey bacon
to take the sting

out of losing the lease
on my legal action office space.

So it'll take you
a little longer

to branch out on your own.

So what?
You're still a great lawyer

and any law firm in town
would be so lucky to have you.

That was before I was
blacklisted by the de Haans.

You'll bounce back.
You always do.

Not so sure this time.

In the interest of protecting

the Bergmann brand,
I've decided to put

all projects spearheaded
by my mother on ice

for the foreseeable future.

Here you go.

I'll be sure
to tell that to the Journal

when they corner me
at the Gala tomorrow.

- Auf wiedersehen.
- Auf wiedersehen.

So, what do you think?

I think it sounds like
you're trying to take Mom's job

while she waits
to hear on the arraignment.

- Leave us.
- Yes.

Does Dad know about this, Heidi?

Because Mom could spend
years in prison

for a mistake that you made.

Dad will never let that happen.
With his team of lawyers,

she'll be released
in two to eighteen months,

and then she'll retire early
and spend her days

getting sloshed
at society lunches

and having affairs
with much younger men.

- Everybody wins.
- This isn't right, Heidi.

No?

Was it right that Mom's only son
sold her out...

to Gossip Girl?

I mean, those DMs
were from your phone.

Relax, kleiner.

I was always going
to assume the throne.

This just sped up the timeline.

And now, unlike Mom and Dad,

I know that my little brother
is a shark, just like me.

I'll save you a corner office.

Das ist Heidi.

- Do you know what is this about?
- Not a clue, which worries me.

The last idea she didn't run
by us resulted in Zoya.

Whatever Jules has
summoned us for,

after everything
she's done to you,

I'm surprised you showed.

Hmm. I have a feeling
they're not here

to just see Julien.

Hmm. Uh-oh.
Trouble in para-thrice?

Oh, shit.
We shouldn't have come together.

Maybe wait for a minute
before you head over.

Why not you?

'Cause I thought of it first.

Where's Aki?

How should I know?

Because he was in the elevator
with us like two seconds ago?

No, he was not. What?

Aki, there you are.

You're late. How rude.

Can, uh, can you get to the part
where you tell us why we're here

so I can leave?

Am I the only one who's excited?

Yes. Yes, I am.

I'm done excluding you
from my plans.

We all have the same enemy.

We can't continue to let
GG divide us.

This has been her plan
the whole time.

Create rancor between us

so she has more
and more to write about.

I swear to God, if you say,
"we're stronger together..."

Did you know
that when I sent the text

to ask you here,
it was the first time

we'd used the group chat
since New Year's?

We used to be a family,
and we still can be.

Yeah, you know what?
I... I just... I think

that we should put more effort
into protecting our friendships

rather than trying to take down
somebody that's untouchable.

That's not true.
My mom came very close.

And failed.

But I can finish the job.
Or we can.

Look, if it means Gossip Girl
never posts another tip again,

then I'm in.

- Me too.
- Me too.

You know what? Uh, with...
With all due respect, Jules,

it just... it seems...
to me like you're...

You're playing into GG's hands
a little bit.

I mean, you said yourself,
she wants to start a war, right?

And that's...

I mean, let's face it,
that's what we're doing.

You know, I... I say we play
the long game, you know?

I say we wait it out,
ignore her,

and eventually she'll go away.

I can't be alone on this.

Right?

Nobody's safe until Gossip Girl
ceases to exist.

If we unite,
we can take her out.

I know we can.

Fuck waiting.

This is what I'm talking about.

We're gonna hack into her Insta

and force her
to reveal her identity.

Ak, that's where you come in.

What, him?
He got a C in programming.

Is your dad still in town?

All that power
to spy on everybody,

we might as well put it
to good use.

Well, I mean I can ask,
but you know how he is.

Tell him we'll give him
the exclusive for his papers

on her identity.

I'm sure he'll cooperate.

Well, here's to the destruction
of Gossip Girl.

To the destruction
of Gossip Girl!

Well...

You did it.
You made them better.

- Better terrorists.
- This is so disappointing.

My guess is they'll try
to target your IP address.

Maybe there's a way
I can temporarily block it.

Well, at least this means
we don't have to worry

about Camille anymore.

Congratulations. We officially
leveled up to Roger Menzies,

the world's worst human.

Oh... okay. I can take a hint.

- Any news from Aki?
- I'm still mad.

Understood.

But I'm also tired
of not having a best friend.

The only other
best friends I have

are the two people I'm dating,

which makes it impossible
to talk about them.

And right now,

I really need to talk
about them.

Are things not going well?

You should know. You started it.

Sorry, you didn't. You just...
maybe knew about it first.

Look, my boyfriend
cheating on me,

even just a kiss, it hurts.

And having been so focused
on the threat of losing Max,

I'm finally realizing...

I really don't wanna lose
Aki either.

Well... if I was still
your best friend,

I might say something like...
Of course you're scared.

You have so much going on
with your mom and dad.

Add two partners to that...

Most people, myself included,

can barely handle one.

Maybe just
give yourself a break.

Allow yourself the space
to process whatever you need.

I forgot how you used to talk
before Gossip Girl.

Get used to it.

After tonight,
it's all you're gonna hear.

- Oh! Hey, he's back!
- You guys, you guys, you guys.

Enough suspense. What happened?

Ew, a Real me?

Uh, that can barely text.

How could that possibly
help anyone?

Meet Eugenia Sandoval.
A fake Constance student

who will appear real enough
online for our purposes,

especially when she sends a tip
in to Gossip Girl.

Okay, and what exactly
does that do for us?

Well, that tip will have a link,
and the second Gossip Girl

presses it, we'll have complete
access to her account.

Meaning...

we can see whatever name
and email is attached to it.

I knew your dad did this shit.

Hey, let's debate ethics later.

So, what tip should we send
to ensure that she clicks it?

Uh, Constance is secretly run
by the Illuminati?

No, everyone knows
they work New Jersey.

- Hmm.
- What about Harry Styles

caught cheating on Olivia Wilde
after hours at The Cock?

Obvious phishing.
No queerbaiting, please.

Has to be something
she'll believe.

"Spotted, Julien Calloway
at Dumbo Hall.

Finally sent packing over
her self-centered drama,

false apologies, and inability
to own her bullshit."

Here, take the photo.

Well, so, shall we hit send?

- Hmm.
- No. Wait.

We do it together.

I set up every safeguard
I can think of.

Now, I just need to think
of the ones I can't think of.

So we're good?

Hmm. Back to business as usual.

Oh, my God. You're in.

Oh, my God! They got in.

Click on her account page.

- Already did.
- Quicker. Quicker.

Oh, my God. Do something.
Anything! Uh, I clicked a link,

and they got into the account.
Fuck! Shit!

- Kate!
- They're gonna see my info any second. I'm so dead.

- Kate.
- I'm so dead.

Kate, calm down.
Do you really think

I'd let anything trace
back to you?

I rerouted the account info
to somebody else this afternoon.

You did? To who?

Click on it.

- Uh...
- Of course it's you.

Wait, that doesn't make
any sense.

What the hell?

How could she know
we have the account?

Someone must have
tipped her off.

Mm-mm. Not just someone.

One of us.

So close!
I really thought they had me.

Uh, what next?
You use computer magic

to boot them from the account?

Even if I block them,
they'll find another way in.

And if not them,
someone else after that,

and someone else after that.

Camille is after you.
Roger Menzies.

Do you want to go to jail?

Or do you want to go out
on a high,

knowing that you made
a huge impact in under a year?

Kate...

it's time.

Hi, Jules. Did you eat?

Chef made scampi,
and there's plenty.

Then we can go over
our Gala looks.

I think I'm just gonna shower
and crash. But thank you, Heidi.

Yeah. I'll be right up.

I had your, uh, tux pressed.

I assume
you're going with Julien?

Yeah, I am.
But you're not coming with us.

Oh, you know, she already
invited me in your car.

You know there is something else
that we could do together.

We could publicly own up
to our missteps,

prove that Mom is innocent.

It's fine to admit
that you're human.

- People make mistakes, Heidi.
- I don't.

But you did.

You had those papers forged
because you were wrong

about the site
that you'd chosen.

Now, they're all working
to cover up your mistake.

Who said it was a mistake?

You set Mom up.

You knew exactly
what you were doing, huh?

You...

You knew
that she would take the fall

and you would get her job.

Always so dramatic, brother.

Wow. A whole meal
without a phone on the table.

Is it my birthday?

Why don't I do all the dishes
since you did all the cooking?

Never gonna say no to that.

You know what?

We should take a trip
this summer.

How about we go
to the Berkshires?

Unless you really don't
like mosquitoes.

Uh-huh. Sounds nice.

You know, in the Berkshires,
they have these little flies.

They're called mayflies.
They usually come out in May.

But, um, sometimes
they... they last,

you know,
like through the summer.

But I think
we're probably gonna be good

if we go in, uh, like July.

Or we could drive south.

I've always wanted to go
to Savannah.

Have you ever been to Savannah?

I don't know how they feel
about Jews, though.

Sounds delightful... ly anthropological.

The one thing about Savannah

is I feel like the humidity
is gonna be really bad there.

And, um, you haven't really seen
me sweat yet, so...

You know what?
Maybe not Savannah because I...

I have this sweating condition,
it's not pretty.

Ooh, we should grab ice cream
from Mr. Kiwi.

You read my mind.

You up here, babe?

Yeah, I'm just waiting for you.

All done. All right, let's go.

I want cookies and cream.

Well, that was unexpected.

I forgot how uncomplicated
sex can be.

You mean with just one person?

No, just me and you being...
being us.

Max will understand, right?

Well, he did ask us
to give him space.

And I think we're definitely
giving it to him.

Exactly. Oh, and time.

Don't forget,
he also asked for that too.

- Or maybe...
- We shouldn't tell him?

- Because after this...
- It won't happen again.

I mean, at least until
we have some clarity

about what we are,
the three of us.

Yeah. So it's settled then.

We're just doing
what's best for the three of us.

Now we should do it again.

It's like every time
we get close to GG,

she sees us coming.

But who would betray us
like that?

Well, whoever she is,
she's gotta be offering

something in return, right?

I mean, something
they couldn't get anywhere else.

What could be so important
that you'd lie to the people

you care most about?

Hold that thought.

When you said
you were in the shower,

I TaskRabbited
some Morgensterns.

So I'm gonna go grab that
and then when I come back,

we'll make a plan B through Z
on how to take down GG.

- Sound good?
- Sounds perfect.

All right.

Obie? Our Obie? No fucking way.

They were DM-ing in Vanish Mode.
And it all clicked.

He's been working
with her this whole time.

It's how she knew
we were coming.

Obie fired the warning shots.

Et tu, Otto? But why?

To take down his family, obviously.

I mean, why else would she care
about old Germans

and real estate scandals?

And why should I care
about this?

What's gotten into you, Lu?

Maybe I'm just tired
of high school. Aren't you?

Okay, look, no one starts
something like Gossip Girl

without wanting to be known.
To be talked about.

To be talked about?
She's anonymous.

What if she wasn't?

GG thinks she's unstoppable.

That level of pride
can only mean one thing.

If you damage it, she'll react.

So, what does an egotist hate
more than anything?

Someone taking the mic
and doing it better?

You're going to say
you're Gossip Girl.

And on the official account too.

Claiming credit for being
Gossip Girl this whole time

in a spectacular,
headline-grabbing photo bomb,

on the Met Gala steps
of all places.

And when the real GG
sees you claim credit,

she won't be able to resist
outing herself

in order to regain glory.

Only it won't be me.

No. No one would buy it.

She's gone after you
too hard, too often.

We need a more obvious bad guy.

Oh...

Why are you all looking at me?

I'd be more believable
as Anonymous.

Fine, I'll do it.

No. It has to be me.
It makes the most sense.

She started when I arrived.
Dan was an outsider.

Yeah, and a terrible writer,
so this tracks.

He also talked about himself
almost as much anybody else.

So let's lean in.

People have to believe
this is true if it's gonna work.

But you could be expelled.

GG destroyed my dad's career.
So that's a risk...

I'm willing to take.

Okay. Now, who wants to hear
the plan?

Audrey will get Kiki
to create a gown

for the reveal of all reveals.

My mom's in rehab, remember?

But I'm sure she'd love to help.

How we doing in here?

- I'd say two more minutes and we're...
- Done!

Max will convince Gideon
to invite an unexpected guest

as his plus one.

- Suddenly, I feel undressed.
- Oh, nonsense, you look perfect.

Luna will smuggle
Keek's dress into the gala

so that Zoya
can make a quick change

- before she hits the carpet.
- I wouldn't ask, but my client

did just rip
a rather revealing seam.

Anything for you, Miss La.
Let me worry about my aunt.

Um, any chance
you might wanna take a selfie?

I thought you'd never ask.

And most important of all...

...before we do - the big reveal,

we need to make sure
that Gossip Girl is watching.

Wait a minute.
How are we supposed to do that?

By posting.

Only this time, we do it better
than she ever could.

We get more scandalous,
more brutal.

We say even more revealing stuff
about ourselves

than she ever dared to.

We tell the truth. All of it.

I'll need every one of you
to text me

your biggest,
most revealing secrets,

and I'll post them as her.

But... only if everyone agrees.

Mm-hmm.

Let's fuck this bitch up.

Greetings, followers.

Did you miss me?

On this holy
of all holy nights...

...how about I make up for
some unfortunately lost time

by giving you my rundown

of the hottest and the not-its
looks and lookers?

They say the truth hurts.

- I hope you're all sadists...
- Wow!

...because tonight,
you'll be getting the whole

and nothing but.

Including the biggest truth of all.

The identity of yours truly.

Holy shit. The kids are claiming
they're gonna reveal

GG's identity
at the Met Gala tonight,

like right now.
Do you think they found us?

This is Julien
playing games again.

Do not take the bait.

You're right.
You're right.

I know you're right.

I'm gonna distract myself
with a shower.

That's a great idea.

Monet de Haan,
looking funereal Kim

at Kourtney's
Dolce & Bananas wedding.

- It's giving a nine out of ten.
- Wow. Look at that!

But what's hotter is her mother
having been the brains

behind the union-busting scandal

Daddy de Haan
pinned on Nick Nobody.

Obie Bergmann!
I'd recognize you anywhere.

Andy Cohen. Nice to, uh,
nice to meet you.

How do you know who I am?

I'm a big Gossip Girl fan.
You're one of its stars.

Wait, Gossip Girl is back?

With a vengeance.
It's almost like a reality show

at this point.

GG not only outed
my husband Eric,

she nearly destroyed his family
and friends,

and then she turned out
to be my brother-in-law.

It's very complicated story
that would take

like six years to explain.

Yeah, but your Gossip Girl's
far more brutal.

Plus, there's no love story
like Chuck and Blair.

I mean, it's straight up mean.

I hope someone finds
whoever it is and stops them.

- Yeah.
- Obie, was it?

- Yes.
- Well, good luck.

Thank you. Cheers.

- See you. Let's go find SJ.
- Oh, yeah.

Audrey Hope, what a surprise
to see you here.

- Surprised why?
- I mean...

I'm sorry. I... I'm late
for anything that isn't this.

I... I... Actually, I sent this in
to Gossip Girl,

but she ignored me.
Um... But I just figured

it was only fair
that I tell you myself.

Okay, fine. Tell me.

- We have to talk.
- About what?

You know what?

You can read about it
in a minute.

Read about what?

Hey, everyone.
Everything ready, I hope?

So nice to see
the three of you together.

I spy Alessandro Michele
over there.

Or is that Jared Leto?
Hey! You...

You look ravishing.

Hey, your clothes
are behind this wall.

Let's get you ready, come on.
You two, keep an eye out.

You haven't told your dad?

- Told him what?
- That we're taking a break?

- Is that what we're doing?
- Isn't it?

One of us definitely is.

Max Wolfe in Bode bondage.

Seven out of ten.

'Cause haven't we been
here before?

A leopard can't change
its spots, and a lone wolf

can't be tamed.
Max strayed from his pack

with none other than
apex predator Heidi B.

Will the collision
with that icy Berg

sink the Tri-Tanic?

That's what
I wanted to tell you.

It's what
he should have told us.

It happened after our fight
at the summit.

I was angry and hurt.

And Heidi got me
very, very drunk.

Yeah. But I... I'm glad
that it happened.

- You are?
- You are?

Yeah.

Because of all the allegedly
regrettable things

that I've done in my life,
cheating on you two

was the first time
that I felt true regret.

Look, I miss you both, terribly.

You may not feel that way
after you read the next post.

Hello? You're supposed
to be helping me?

What are you talking about?

Right here, turn over here.

I've been stalling
on the carpet so long,

people are getting sick of me!
Get an ETA please?

On it. Yeah, okay.

Okay.

Julien Calloway?
It's Fernando

- from Monse and Oscar.
- I know who you are.

Laura and I were
looking at you from over there,

you both look amazing.

And if you guys
are ever interested

in modeling, give us a call.

Oh, she's just my stylist.
She's not a model.

- See you inside?
- Okay.

- Did you seriously just do that?
- Do what?

Once again,
you're so self-obsessed

you can't see anyone
outside yourself.

I'm done. I'm fucking done.

Wait! I need you
for this to work!

PHOTOGRAPHER
2: Beautiful. Beautiful, thank you.

Oh, JC.
You should have heeded

Coco's advice
and taken one thing off.

Yourself. Out of that fit.

Shine slight
like a zirconia, BB.

Six out of ten.

When will she learn
to not be such a try-hard?

Or is she still trying to outrun

that she's still living large
off DJ Daddy's dirty dollars?

Hey, can we talk?

I know, it's awful.

And just when I thought GG
couldn't stoop any lower.

I know you posted that.

Bravo. Are you gonna
use those powers of perception

to rat us out again?
That's right, we all know.

You were working
with her all along.

Look, I'm sorry, Jules.

I am, all right? But look,
things have been so complicated

with my family,

teaming up with Gossip Girl
seemed like my only choice.

All right?
And I... I wanted to tell you,

but I was
afraid of losing you again,

and I've clearly been
misled by GG

and lost sight
of what matters most.

Right? My friends.

But most of all, you.

Okay? So just please
give me another shot.

Just give me access to GG,

and I will post
a bitter pill of my own.

Don't let me down again.

All right.

Look, I'll say it again.
We make a good team.

We belong together.
And Heidi, she meant nothing.

Max, there's something that...

Well...

What?

Audrey and Aki,

this year's harle-queen
and king.

A median six out of ten.
Monochrome was so last season.

You know what else
appears to be over?

The unholy trinity.

Max may have trifled
outside the triad,

but Audrey and Aki
trifled within.

Evens beats odds any day.

We were upset
about the possibility

of losing you, so we...

Went running back to each other
and acted as if I never existed?

Enough Call Me by Your Lame.
It's time, come on.

Noble O,
what did that disco ball

do to you? Two out of ten.

But since we're
talking betrayal,

let's focus all in the family.

That fall of Helena?

Less her due
and a lot more coup.

She was set up by her
duplicitous daughter,

wanting to snatch the empire
all to herself,

and I have the receipts
to prove it.

- Achtung, Baby H?
- What the fuck is this?

What are you talking about?
Heidi, you're not making sense.

You know exactly
what I'm talking about.

You told Gossip Girl,
you little bitch.

I knew it!

Yes, you're right.
See? I'm still saying it.

- I'm so disappointed.
- Don't be. Look.

Obie's doing it.
He's taking out his sister!

This is like proof
of concept right here!

It worked!
The whole thing worked!

Told her what exactly, Heidi?

You're not making any sense.

You know exactly what you did!

No, I don't. What... I have
no idea what you're talking about.

Where are you? Obie lied.
He's using GG for his own shit.

Julien's gonna be pissed
when she finds out.

- I need your help.
- I don't care.

Okay.

- Um... Excuse me, sir.
- Yes.

Hi. I'm so sorry
to do this to you,

but I think that someone might
be recording tonight's event.

- That's like a big no-no, right?
- Mm-hmm.

- Yeah, okay. Look at this.
- Why are you being so fucking weird? What is this?

- I'm just trying to make sure I know what you're asking.
- Got it.

Thank you so much.

Look, maybe Mom's attorneys
found out what you did,

all right? I mean, she said
she had receipts.

- Is that at all possible?
- I don't know. I...

I don't think so. I...

You little...

- Sir, please come with me.
- You little bitch.

Don't fuck this up, honey.

Olivia, such an honor
to have you here

- in this fantastic...
- Carolina Herrera.

- Well, you look amazing.
- Thank you.

Lukas Gage.
This is your first Met, right?

Yes, it is. I think it's just
a lesson for everyone out there.

If you show your ass on TV,
you get invited to the Met Gala.

Period. You look fantastic.
Enjoy your evening, guys.

- You too. Thank you.
- Thank you.

It's now! It's now!

Olivia!

Wait, who is that?

That can't be real.
Is this real?

What's going on?

Is that really her?

And look.

Tell us your name!

Could it really be her?

Oh, my God.
She looks incredible.

It says "Gossip Girl"!

She's Gossip Girl!
Oh, my God. Look at that!

Gossip Girl! Who are you?

Zoya!

This way please, this way!

She's Gossip Girl.

Does anyone know who she is?

Can we see
your face? Can we see your face?

What's your
name? Tell us who you are!

Is that a Gee's Bend quilt dress
augmented by, uh...

Kiki Hope!

Kiki Hope?

A guest's causing a disturbance.

We've got a rogue
walker on the carpet.

We got her.

Get her out of there, now!

- Shit!
- Let's go. Come on.

- Come on.
- Let's go.

- No! Stop!
- We're on our way.

Stop! No!
Don't take her!

Are you seeing this?

Zoya,
turn around! Please!

Zoya, just a quick picture,
please turn around!

Why would Zoya do this?

Attention, power, influence?

Let her have it. You're free.

We're free!
No one will ever know it's you.

I know.

It's perfect.

Nothing. There's nothing.

Well, Operation: Out GG
was a total fucking bust.

All of that for nothing.

It's okay, Jules.
You tried. Truly.

But it wasn't enough.

And now GG gets to vanish
into the ether

while my little sister
goes down for all of it.

Yet another one of my plans
up in flames

and hurting people
that I care about.

I found Max.

Go.

Max. Max,
is now a good time to talk?

What's there to discuss?
Okay? You betrayed me.

Max, come on.
I think it's safe to say

we all did some betraying here.

Yeah, exactly.
So why don't we move past

our mutual transgressions
and just...

forgive each other?

This didn't work, just admit it.
This did not work at all.

- Max...
- So if it didn't...

so if it's over, and it is over,

it's over
for all three of us, right?

- No, we...
- All for all or none for none.

We...

We...

don't wanna be done.

Which "we"?

Us three or you two?

What an absolute... fool I am,
an absolute fucking fool.

I loved you.
You know that, right?

Fuck you, both of you.

Just got off the phone
with, uh, my mom's lawyers.

Told them, you know,
Heidi set her up...

and I can prove the whole thing.

What did he say?

Oh, you know, he said, uh...

He said that I should
mind my own business

and that Heidi's ruthlessness

is exactly
what the company needs.

Here I am, you know, just...

trying to do
the right thing and...

yet again screwing over
someone that I love.

My plan didn't work either.

What didn't work?

Drawing Gossip Girl out.

We thought that if Zoya
took credit for being GG,

that she would be so jealous
that she would out herself.

But instead, we just gave her
an escape hatch.

And now, Zoya is gonna have
a permanent record,

be expelled from school,

among being
one of the most hated people

in New York.

That's it?

That's what you wanted to do?
That's... that's easy.

What are you talking about?

Well...

What's the best way
to catch flies?

Honey.

Money.

We're closed for the night.

Yes, I know.
I'm here for the meeting.

The Shonda meeting?
Or the Ryan Murphy...

You're with
the Gossip Girl group?

- Yes. I'm with Gossip Girl.
- Danny Strong is right this way.

Mr. Strong,
you can't believe these women.

They're not Gossip Girl,

and they don't have the rights
to her story.

- Ms. Keller?
- Oh, my God.

My story.

I'm Gossip Girl.

And I can prove it.

I refuse to allow anyone
else to take credit.

And credit you shall have.

Tomorrow morning, in fact, on
the front page of the Spectator.

And tomorrow night, on my show.

Eric's at the Spectator
right now,

giving the exclusive to Nate.

I wanted to see what you looked
like with my own eyes.

A teacher? What a twist!

- Also, kinda gross.
- How could you do this?

I... I... I wanted
to make them better.

I wanted them to be better!

So you cyberstalked and bullied
teenagers into being scared,

hurt, confused, isolated?

You tried to ruin Julien's life.

Her father
is an evil person who...

You tried to destroy
my daughter's reputation.

You did destroy my career.

- Nick, please, I can explain.
- You tried to get close to me.

- You pretended to care.
- I do care.

Explain to them.

Zoya's a minor.
She would've gotten a fine,

some counseling. But you?

First degree harassment,
stalking in the third degree,

the civil suits you have
coming your way.

Let's talk libel.
Let's talk defamation.

Whatever happens to me,
I'll be able to sleep at night

knowing I succeeded.
I made you better.

- I made you good.
- You didn't make us anything.

And in a year's time,

we'll have all forgotten
about you.

But you?
You'll have lost everything.

What about the rights?

If you were a kid, maybe.

But no one
wants to see a teacher.

Obes, wake up.
I have a great day planned.

No, no plans, no plans.
We're on vacation.

We've been vacationing
for weeks!

We only have three days left
in Rome

before we get back on the yacht.

So we have
lots of shopping to do.

You're waking me up
for shopping?

And walking and eating
and kissing...

Oh, good, you're up.

Look, we only have
20 more minutes

before breakfast closes,
and if I miss the maritozzo,

I will be a real mother...

So, what are we gonna wear?
Yesterday, Léa Seydoux

was dressed to the nines.

Let's be tens.

Not a chance I'm going shopping.

Oh, someone woke up late.

Okay, you promised
you'd stop poking.

You promised you'd stop
deserving it. Hey...

Peace at last.

I mean, if this is what
the EU brings out in us,

I don't think
we should ever leave.

Honestly, man, I mean,

what's waiting back
in New York, anyways?

Okay, don't get me wrong.
This place is beautiful

and everything looks
like an Instagram filter.

But now that GG's gone,
I feel like my life in New York

is just about to start.

Hmm.

Time to find what makes the city
special to me, you know?

Does that include finding
a special someone?

You all have your great loves.
Maybe it's time I find mine.

Well, seeing
that we just became friends,

I'd say let's take it
one miracle at a time.

Now, eat, we're already
behind schedule.

What's on schedule?

Shopping!

So, tell me
about this great love.

What are you looking for?
Details.

Um, I guess
somebody who understands

- where I come from.
- Mm-hmm.

And someone who shares
the same interests as me.

Someone who
definitely can't afford this.

Or this, actually.

I'd say it's on me,
but unfortunately,

- I am that someone.
- Well, lucky for you two,

my dad feels so guilty,
he wants to buy back my love,

so...

- Do you have these in a 38?
- Si. I'll check.

- Hey, you okay?
- Yeah, it's just Monet

complaining about how her mom
won't let her come meet us.

Of course.

Okay, I'm gonna go
try these shoes on.

Did you ever figure out why
it was so important for us

to come to Rome?

I was really looking forward
to Ravello.

Yeah, you know,
Jules wouldn't say.

She won't tell me.
But all she said

is that she has some
opportunity out here

and... if it goes well,
then she'll tell me.

Well, at least we made
the most of it.

Okay, I have to say it.

We've been on that boat
for weeks

and everyone else
has been afraid to.

You have to be mad.

I'm not.

Are we really talking
about this right now?

You have to be mad, Julien.

No, I... I really think
she's not.

She... She took your spot
up there. That was yours.

Okay, she didn't take anything.

I got the same offer,
and I didn't follow up.

You know what?
It's one campaign.

You know what I mean? How long
is it gonna be up there?

A month, two months?

Yeah. And models are
a dime a dozen anyway.

You wanna grill me? Let's see
if you can take the same heat.

Have you heard from him?

Has anyone?

Um... Well, what's to hear?

We hurt him,
and he hates us, so...

Yeah,
last time I talked to Gidi,

he said Max was going away
for the summer

and specifically said
not to tell us where, so...

Wherever he is,
I'm sure that he's fine.

All right? He's always fine.

Idiot! Leave him out!

Oh, fuck.

Throwing me out...
...means that you are over.

- Freund.
- And don't come back.

You must have done
something pretty terrible

to get thrown out of Berghain.

Need any help?

Oh, you'll do just fine.

I'm not gonna be
available tomorrow.

What, the mission is finally
activated?

Look, you can trust me.
All right?

Things have changed.
We're... We're different.

I do trust you. I...
I just don't trust myself.

If I tell you
and you tell me not to do it,

I might not do it,
and I really need to do this.

Good luck.

You've got good taste.

Hmm?

But my favorite's Hapgood.

Arcadia's a close second.

This place is amazing, isn't it?

Nothing like it
back in the States.

Why do we live there again?

Oh, I'm interrupting your...
Your zoning out.

No, no, no, I wasn't.
I was, um...

I was just picturing
what it would feel like

to write something worthy
of a place like this.

Which then reminded me
that I haven't written anything

worthy of...
even myself in a year.

I'm sorry, I don't know why
I just told you that. I don't...

I don't even know you.

Phillip Price. Now you know me.

Zoya Lott,
and I'm not so sure I do.

Okay.

I've got two tickets
to The Barber of Seville

at Caracalla.

They're these
ancient bath ruins,

they do opera there
every summer.

I promise, I'm not a weirdo.

I was supposed to meet
with a friend,

but he fell in love
on his way out of Berlin.

- Oh.
- So that's why I'm stuck here solo.

Uh, my hostel has these
really weird shower rules,

so I've got to run, but...

maybe I'll see you
tomorrow night?

I'm Julien Calloway.

Yes, you are.

And I... I think you're
my aunt Naomi?

Mimi.

I don't know
what you want me to say here.

I came all this way to find you,

even though you've wanted
nothing to do with me

my entire life.

That's not... entirely untrue.

I just want to know why.

Why don't I know you?

Why don't I know
my grandparents?

Are they even still alive?

And why, because of that,
do I know nothing

about my mother?

You're the only one
who can answer these questions.

Julien... God, even just saying
your name...

No...

I want you
to really think about it.

I want to know it's the truth.

Once you know,
there's no going back.

And you may not like it.

I'll be here tomorrow at 9:00.

Table for two.

If you show up,
I'll know you're ready to talk.

I'll be ready to listen.

Hi. Ciao.

How did the mission go?

It was an illuminating part one.

And how many parts are there?

I don't know yet, but I will
let you know when I do.

I'm just not
gonna be available tonight.

Okay. No worries.
Whatever you need.

That's what I'm saying, with
all this beautiful food in front of us,

all these places to eat,
you guys wanna go shopping?

- No, but...
- I mean, you can shop in New York.

We're staying
at the Fendi Suites, bro.

There's different things in Italy.
Are you crazy? You know that.

Don't play dumb. Why do boys
always try to do that?

I don't...
I'm just saying, guys...

Grazie.

Once we get back to New Y...

Did you land
any new tricks lately?

No, baby! Stop it!

- Now, you look happy.
- Well, a boy asked me out.

A boy who knows
who Tom Stoppard is.

Oh, he's definitely
got one on us.

You know what?
I met a new friend today too.

Funny, so did I.

This really
sweet guy's boyfriend

just dumped him out of nowhere.

Well, seems like it's been
a very eventful day

- for all of us.
- With more to come.

And on that note...
here's to our future...

and a Gossip Girl-free
existence.

May she rest in pieces,
having given us back our peace.

Cheers.

- Yeah.
- Like, period!

My Lord, it just feels
like I've been reborn,

you know what I mean?

All right, uh, leave us.
Um, leave us.

Oui, monsieur.

Uh...

So... you were a teacher
at my son's school.

And then you quit
because of Gossip Girl?

You flew me all the way
to Europe to meet you at dawn

and talk about Gossip Girl?

All right, tell me.

Did you quit because of her

or because you were her?

- Excuse me?
- Oh, it's all right. I know.

I know all about
that Kate person.

And I also know
that she didn't act alone.

Oh, God. Of course you know.
You know everything.

Calm down, Mr. Glassberg.

I'm not gonna kill you.
I'm gonna hire you.

I want to expand Gossip Girl.

Uh, sh... shouldn't you be
talking to Kate?

No, no. Kate made it
too personal.

She was on a mission.
But you did it for love.

And I bet you love money, huh?

You see, Gossip Girl,

it shouldn't be just one person.
It... It... It...

It should be everybody,
in the palm of your hand,

at any moment,
in any part of the world.

And all ad-supported.

You wanna make
Gossip Girl an app?

No, not an app. The app.

Imagine.

All the teenagers
all over the world,

spying on each other.

We'll make so much money...

you'll never have to pick
a fingernail out of a keyboard

ever again.

I'm offering you
a piece, Mr. Glassberg.

A piece of the future.

What do you say?