Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,262 --> 00:00:03,960
I don't want to be romanced.
I want to be loved.
2
00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:06,136
Previously on "You Me Her"...Clomid time.
3
00:00:06,180 --> 00:00:07,572
You must
reallywant a kid.
4
00:00:07,616 --> 00:00:09,183
I must.
5
00:00:09,226 --> 00:00:11,359
My professional recommendation
would be surrogacy.
6
00:00:11,402 --> 00:00:12,664
Well,
how do we start?
7
00:00:12,708 --> 00:00:14,971
Uh, how about we start
with a conversation?
8
00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:16,146
What are you guys
talking about?
9
00:00:16,190 --> 00:00:17,582
We want you
to have our baby.
10
00:00:18,453 --> 00:00:20,281
Like, ourbaby.
All three of us.
11
00:00:20,324 --> 00:00:21,630
It kind of feels like,
12
00:00:21,673 --> 00:00:23,197
like we're supposed to
do this together.
13
00:00:23,240 --> 00:00:24,589
Does no one think
we should just, like,
14
00:00:24,633 --> 00:00:26,069
hit the brakes
just a little?
15
00:00:26,113 --> 00:00:27,462
We're just going to delay
the announcement
16
00:00:27,505 --> 00:00:29,551
of your promotion
a couple of weeks.
17
00:00:29,594 --> 00:00:30,900
Did I hear you say
that you were --
18
00:00:30,943 --> 00:00:32,858
I hate my boss
and I want to quit my job?
19
00:00:32,902 --> 00:00:34,817
You know how long
I've wanted to start
my own firm.
20
00:00:34,860 --> 00:00:36,471
Fuck! Fuck me!
21
00:00:36,514 --> 00:00:37,994
Actually, I was yelling
at my boss.
22
00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:40,083
She found out
I was scouting office space,
23
00:00:40,127 --> 00:00:42,825
so she's blackballing me
at the few places I can afford.
24
00:00:42,868 --> 00:00:44,087
So much for women
helping women.
25
00:00:44,131 --> 00:00:45,915
I'm not a woman.
I'm an architect.
26
00:00:45,958 --> 00:00:47,786
What's this?
Hey.
27
00:00:47,830 --> 00:00:49,136
Coolest firm
in Seattle.Thanks so much,
Kylie.
28
00:00:49,179 --> 00:00:50,441
I don't -- I don't even
know what to say.
29
00:00:50,485 --> 00:00:52,791
Everyone at Pinnacle
is buzzing about me.
30
00:00:52,835 --> 00:00:53,792
Wha-a-a-a-t?
31
00:00:53,836 --> 00:00:55,229
I'm buzz-worthy.
32
00:00:55,272 --> 00:00:57,796
Have you crossed into
seriously considering this?
33
00:00:57,840 --> 00:01:00,451
I have no fucking clue
who I am or --
34
00:01:00,495 --> 00:01:01,931
or what I want.
35
00:01:01,974 --> 00:01:04,107
I think we both know
what you want.
36
00:01:04,151 --> 00:01:06,153
So I need old-dude advice
on how to get it?
37
00:01:06,196 --> 00:01:07,241
Go big.
38
00:01:08,459 --> 00:01:10,026
[ Sighs ]
39
00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:12,898
Emma, Izzy, will you start
a family with me?
40
00:01:14,987 --> 00:01:15,988
[ Izzy chuckles ]
41
00:01:17,251 --> 00:01:18,426
Um...
42
00:01:30,525 --> 00:01:32,048
Um...
43
00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:34,485
O-Okay, I, um...
44
00:01:34,529 --> 00:01:36,313
I'm really into
the "us" part
45
00:01:36,357 --> 00:01:39,273
and...the "love" part,
but...
46
00:01:39,316 --> 00:01:41,101
as far as this
whole "family" thing goes,
47
00:01:41,144 --> 00:01:43,973
I mean, didn't we just
enter this musing phase,
like, yesterday?
48
00:01:45,757 --> 00:01:48,151
Not the reaction
I was expecting.
49
00:01:48,195 --> 00:01:50,458
Well, what Jack
is proposing
50
00:01:50,501 --> 00:01:54,331
is actually called "reciprocal
in vitro fertilization."
51
00:01:54,375 --> 00:01:56,028
It basically
means that,
52
00:01:56,072 --> 00:01:59,162
um, we'd be bringing
two women to the party
53
00:01:59,206 --> 00:02:00,468
instead of one.
54
00:02:01,904 --> 00:02:03,384
Um...sorry,
55
00:02:03,427 --> 00:02:05,777
but kneeling is a...
young man's game.
56
00:02:05,821 --> 00:02:07,605
Oh, sorry.
Here.
57
00:02:07,649 --> 00:02:08,780
Uh...
Just...
58
00:02:08,824 --> 00:02:10,913
Yeah, let's sit.
I'm a little dizzy.
59
00:02:10,956 --> 00:02:12,175
Okay.
60
00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:15,135
Whew.
61
00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:25,710
How do you know all that
in vitro stuff?
62
00:02:27,190 --> 00:02:28,757
Interwebs.
63
00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:30,411
So, you've been
researching.
64
00:02:30,454 --> 00:02:31,890
Which means...
65
00:02:31,934 --> 00:02:33,022
that you're open
to the idea.
66
00:02:33,065 --> 00:02:34,458
Yeah.
67
00:02:36,417 --> 00:02:38,897
In fact, um...
68
00:02:38,941 --> 00:02:42,031
I did some Yelping
for IVF clinics,
69
00:02:42,074 --> 00:02:44,207
and I made
an appointment.
70
00:02:46,470 --> 00:02:47,602
Relax, it -- it --
71
00:02:47,645 --> 00:02:48,951
there was
a cancellation.
72
00:02:48,994 --> 00:02:50,605
The next opening
was six weeks away,
73
00:02:50,648 --> 00:02:53,608
and we can totally wait
if that's what you want.
74
00:02:55,044 --> 00:02:56,828
Appointment to what?
To make us pregnant?
75
00:02:56,872 --> 00:02:58,569
No, what --
no, no.
76
00:02:58,613 --> 00:02:59,744
It's just
a consultation --
77
00:02:59,788 --> 00:03:01,181
just to make sure
78
00:03:01,224 --> 00:03:03,400
that the, you know, option
is even on the table.
79
00:03:03,444 --> 00:03:05,489
It's still
your eggs, Em.
80
00:03:05,533 --> 00:03:06,882
We'd all
have to agree.
81
00:03:06,925 --> 00:03:08,579
Yeah.
82
00:03:08,623 --> 00:03:09,754
When is this
appointment?
83
00:03:09,798 --> 00:03:11,669
4:00.
84
00:03:11,713 --> 00:03:12,540
Tomorrow.
85
00:03:21,026 --> 00:03:21,940
Honey, it's just --
86
00:03:21,984 --> 00:03:23,855
Yeah, no,
I...I heard.
87
00:03:23,899 --> 00:03:25,466
It's just
a consultation.
88
00:03:25,509 --> 00:03:26,815
Are you mad?
89
00:03:26,858 --> 00:03:28,599
'Cause we can -- we can
totally blow it off.
90
00:03:28,643 --> 00:03:29,948
I can call them back.
91
00:03:29,992 --> 00:03:31,646
No, no.
I'm not mad.
92
00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:36,738
I don't even know
what I am. [ Sighs ]
93
00:03:42,178 --> 00:03:43,571
And I don't know if...
94
00:03:45,921 --> 00:03:47,662
You know, I'm not sure
if I still want a --
95
00:03:47,705 --> 00:03:49,620
You're not sure that
you still want a baby?
96
00:03:51,318 --> 00:03:52,449
Well, fuck.
97
00:03:52,493 --> 00:03:54,190
That would certainly
change things.
98
00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:55,974
Seven years, Jack.
99
00:03:57,846 --> 00:03:59,587
I think part of me
just surrendered.
100
00:03:59,630 --> 00:04:01,545
Okay, but...
101
00:04:01,589 --> 00:04:04,113
what if you knew
that it would work?
102
00:04:04,156 --> 00:04:06,768
What if you knew the three of us
could start a family?
103
00:04:06,811 --> 00:04:08,291
Would you
feel differently?
104
00:04:15,603 --> 00:04:17,344
You really did
all this?
105
00:04:18,954 --> 00:04:19,955
[ Chuckles lightly ]
106
00:04:22,653 --> 00:04:24,176
You think I'm crazy?
107
00:04:24,220 --> 00:04:25,656
No.
108
00:04:25,700 --> 00:04:28,137
Well, maybe a little.
109
00:04:28,180 --> 00:04:29,181
[ Chuckles ]
110
00:04:29,225 --> 00:04:30,270
So?
111
00:04:33,490 --> 00:04:35,971
So...
112
00:04:36,014 --> 00:04:37,233
let's do this.
113
00:04:39,322 --> 00:04:41,846
Yeah?But just -- just the
consultation, okay, guys?
114
00:04:41,890 --> 00:04:43,021
Just one step
at a time.
115
00:04:43,065 --> 00:04:44,022
Yeah.
116
00:04:44,066 --> 00:04:46,242
Fair?Definitely.
117
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,549
Okay, please tell me
you did not stage
this whole production
118
00:04:48,592 --> 00:04:50,028
with onebottle
of champagne.
119
00:04:50,072 --> 00:04:52,857
Oh, silly potential
baby mama...
120
00:04:52,901 --> 00:04:54,337
no.Okay, good.
121
00:04:54,381 --> 00:04:55,556
'Cause this
lady right here
122
00:04:55,599 --> 00:04:57,079
might be staring down
nine months
123
00:04:57,122 --> 00:04:59,255
of cold, hard
sobriety.
124
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:01,475
So let's pop some corks,
dickheads.
125
00:05:01,518 --> 00:05:04,260
[ Rich Aucoin's
"Want To Believe" plays ]
126
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:05,609
♪ In times like this
127
00:05:05,653 --> 00:05:09,091
♪ I want to be a believer
128
00:05:09,134 --> 00:05:10,919
♪ In times like this
129
00:05:10,962 --> 00:05:12,964
♪ I want to be a believer
130
00:05:13,008 --> 00:05:16,054
♪ Oh ohhh oh-oh
131
00:05:16,098 --> 00:05:18,448
♪ I want to be a believer
132
00:05:18,492 --> 00:05:21,408
♪ Oh ohhh oh-oh
133
00:05:21,451 --> 00:05:23,540
♪ I want to be a believer
134
00:05:23,584 --> 00:05:27,152
♪ Oh ohhh oh-oh
135
00:05:27,196 --> 00:05:28,806
♪ I want to be a believer ♪
136
00:05:28,850 --> 00:05:33,245
♪ Funny how a good thing
opens your eyes ♪
137
00:05:33,289 --> 00:05:35,900
♪ Makes you feel the branches
138
00:05:35,944 --> 00:05:40,992
♪ Leads you to the pines
139
00:05:41,036 --> 00:05:45,649
♪ I'll make you a map to me
140
00:05:45,693 --> 00:05:47,912
♪ I'll be there
in your sights ♪
141
00:05:47,956 --> 00:05:52,917
♪ Funny still how infatuation
shuts you all up ♪
142
00:05:52,961 --> 00:06:00,490
♪ As it makes you
a deadbeat son of a gun ♪
143
00:06:00,534 --> 00:06:05,365
♪ I'll be made into a mark
144
00:06:05,408 --> 00:06:09,586
♪ With a heart
145
00:06:09,630 --> 00:06:11,458
♪ Steadied and strong ♪
146
00:06:11,501 --> 00:06:14,548
[ Emma groans sleepily,
cellphone chimes ]
147
00:06:15,418 --> 00:06:16,854
[ Sighs ]
148
00:06:19,335 --> 00:06:21,032
Em.
149
00:06:21,076 --> 00:06:21,946
Yeah?
150
00:06:21,990 --> 00:06:22,947
You okay?
151
00:06:22,991 --> 00:06:24,079
Mm-hmm.
152
00:06:25,733 --> 00:06:27,343
[ Sighs ]
153
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,258
What time is it?
154
00:06:29,301 --> 00:06:30,041
6:30.
155
00:06:31,869 --> 00:06:33,654
Wait,
what day is it?
156
00:06:33,697 --> 00:06:34,611
Tuesday.
157
00:06:34,655 --> 00:06:36,004
Fuck!
158
00:06:36,047 --> 00:06:37,397
♪♪
159
00:06:44,099 --> 00:06:45,317
What's wrong?
160
00:06:45,361 --> 00:06:47,145
Izzy went AWOL
again last night.
161
00:06:49,017 --> 00:06:51,802
I think she's
gonna have a baby
with the Griswolds.
162
00:06:51,846 --> 00:06:54,544
Not, like, today,
but...
163
00:06:54,588 --> 00:06:55,980
soon-ish.
164
00:06:59,767 --> 00:07:01,769
You got to be
fucking kidding me.
165
00:07:01,812 --> 00:07:03,640
Mnh-mnh.
166
00:07:03,684 --> 00:07:05,990
She's gonna be
double-married with children.
167
00:07:06,034 --> 00:07:07,557
I can't imagine
how our lives
168
00:07:07,601 --> 00:07:10,125
could possiblydiverge
more dramatically.
169
00:07:11,343 --> 00:07:12,649
You could be single.
170
00:07:13,389 --> 00:07:14,477
[ Smacks lips ]
171
00:07:14,521 --> 00:07:15,826
I amsingle.
172
00:07:24,356 --> 00:07:26,446
Is there something
that you want to say?
173
00:07:26,489 --> 00:07:28,360
No, I just --
174
00:07:28,404 --> 00:07:31,886
I don't want to get
all romantic again
and scare you off.
175
00:07:34,279 --> 00:07:36,194
I don't -- I don't want
you to be...
176
00:07:36,238 --> 00:07:37,239
single.
177
00:07:41,330 --> 00:07:43,593
Way to ruin
everything.
178
00:07:43,637 --> 00:07:45,160
I know,
I'm a fucking asshole.
179
00:07:45,203 --> 00:07:46,596
You're gonna have
to go now.
180
00:07:50,557 --> 00:07:52,515
I haven't had
a boyfriend since --
181
00:07:52,559 --> 00:07:54,038
Cross-country drive
to...
182
00:07:54,082 --> 00:07:55,475
Brown University.
Mm.
183
00:07:56,954 --> 00:07:58,303
[ Sighs ]
184
00:07:58,347 --> 00:08:00,697
We don't need,
like, a label.
185
00:08:00,741 --> 00:08:02,569
We could just...
186
00:08:02,612 --> 00:08:03,831
Will you...
187
00:08:03,874 --> 00:08:05,223
be my boyfriend?
188
00:08:09,010 --> 00:08:10,794
Yeah.
189
00:08:10,838 --> 00:08:12,013
[ Door opens ]
190
00:08:12,056 --> 00:08:13,405
Izzy:
We have a fucking test!
191
00:08:13,449 --> 00:08:14,494
Fucking test?
192
00:08:14,537 --> 00:08:15,973
We have
a fucking test?!
193
00:08:16,017 --> 00:08:17,845
Huh.
194
00:08:17,888 --> 00:08:19,847
You guys made up.
195
00:08:19,890 --> 00:08:22,893
Had the intercourse
all the kids are talking about.
196
00:08:22,937 --> 00:08:24,025
Uh...
197
00:08:25,374 --> 00:08:26,941
With this one?
No, that's gross.
198
00:08:26,984 --> 00:08:28,290
We were studying
for the test.
199
00:08:28,333 --> 00:08:29,639
Yeah, you were.
200
00:08:29,683 --> 00:08:31,206
You guys were studying
each other's --
201
00:08:31,249 --> 00:08:33,295
yeah, this --
that's not going anywhere good,
202
00:08:33,338 --> 00:08:35,036
so, let's do
some cramming.
203
00:08:35,079 --> 00:08:35,993
I'll be here.
204
00:08:40,650 --> 00:08:42,783
Hey, uh...
205
00:08:42,826 --> 00:08:44,219
girlfriend.
206
00:08:44,262 --> 00:08:46,743
♪♪
207
00:08:50,965 --> 00:08:52,488
Hey, boyfriend.
208
00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:53,663
Hey.
209
00:08:58,059 --> 00:08:59,234
[ Chuckles ]
210
00:09:01,497 --> 00:09:02,977
Izzy:
I can hear you.
211
00:09:03,020 --> 00:09:06,023
♪♪
212
00:09:15,816 --> 00:09:18,209
Oh, man,
I didn't set my alarm.
213
00:09:18,253 --> 00:09:19,820
Shh, shh, shh.
I turned it off.
214
00:09:19,863 --> 00:09:21,038
Wh-What would you
do that for?
215
00:09:21,082 --> 00:09:22,605
You're gonna make me
late for work.
216
00:09:22,649 --> 00:09:23,867
Do you hear that?
217
00:09:25,260 --> 00:09:26,043
Hear what?
218
00:09:26,087 --> 00:09:27,915
Exactly.
219
00:09:27,958 --> 00:09:28,959
Should we
be concerned?
220
00:09:29,003 --> 00:09:30,570
No.
I checked on them.
221
00:09:30,613 --> 00:09:32,093
Fast asleep.
222
00:09:32,136 --> 00:09:33,311
Oh, and alive.
223
00:09:33,355 --> 00:09:34,835
Oh.
224
00:09:34,878 --> 00:09:36,663
Alive is good,
yeah.
225
00:09:36,706 --> 00:09:37,968
Did you
drug them somehow?
226
00:09:38,012 --> 00:09:40,362
Well, is bourbon
considered a drug?
227
00:09:40,405 --> 00:09:41,406
Oh, my God.
[ Chuckles ]
228
00:09:43,452 --> 00:09:45,062
Oh.
229
00:09:45,106 --> 00:09:47,891
Okay, so, uh...
230
00:09:47,935 --> 00:09:49,806
I'll just show up late
for work, I guess.
231
00:09:49,850 --> 00:09:51,634
With an
inscrutable excuse.
232
00:09:54,071 --> 00:09:55,638
Let's be honest.
233
00:09:55,682 --> 00:09:57,335
I'm probably gonna tell
everybody in the office
234
00:09:57,379 --> 00:10:00,121
I'm having wild-animal
morning-sex with my wife.
235
00:10:01,992 --> 00:10:03,167
Men.
236
00:10:03,211 --> 00:10:05,126
♪♪
237
00:10:08,999 --> 00:10:10,218
Okay, I'm gonna
tell everybody,
238
00:10:10,261 --> 00:10:11,306
including
complete strangers.
239
00:10:11,349 --> 00:10:12,568
I'll probably
Tweet it, too.
240
00:10:19,314 --> 00:10:21,229
Okay.
241
00:10:21,272 --> 00:10:23,187
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
242
00:10:23,231 --> 00:10:24,798
What's the hurry?It's --
243
00:10:26,277 --> 00:10:28,453
We got to get going.
It's really late.
244
00:10:28,497 --> 00:10:30,586
You're the boss
at your new job,
245
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:32,240
Ihate mine,
so, uh,
246
00:10:32,283 --> 00:10:33,197
let's take
a minute.
247
00:10:33,241 --> 00:10:34,329
[ Scoffs ]
248
00:10:38,594 --> 00:10:39,508
Okay.
249
00:10:41,728 --> 00:10:44,731
What's the deal with
your starting your
own firm thing?
250
00:10:44,774 --> 00:10:46,863
Well, rent's obscene,
251
00:10:46,907 --> 00:10:49,170
I basically can't hire
anybody ever,
252
00:10:49,213 --> 00:10:50,780
and, um...
253
00:10:50,824 --> 00:10:52,826
yeah, this town already
has about ten more firms
254
00:10:52,869 --> 00:10:54,523
than it needs.
255
00:10:54,566 --> 00:10:56,220
So take a break...
256
00:10:56,264 --> 00:10:58,570
right?
257
00:10:58,614 --> 00:11:01,051
Can build up
the firm from home.
258
00:11:01,095 --> 00:11:02,792
Maybe stay
with the baby.
259
00:11:02,836 --> 00:11:04,315
[ Scoffs ]
260
00:11:08,102 --> 00:11:11,322
Look, if you don't
want it, I don't
want it, okay?
261
00:11:13,716 --> 00:11:17,198
You are the only man
I've ever really loved.
262
00:11:17,241 --> 00:11:18,503
Yeah?
Yeah.
263
00:11:20,331 --> 00:11:22,203
Might be 'cause
you're mostly gay.
264
00:11:22,246 --> 00:11:23,987
[ Laughing ]
Yeah.
265
00:11:24,031 --> 00:11:26,555
Sure.
That explains it.
266
00:11:26,598 --> 00:11:28,818
Luckily my...
pheromones
267
00:11:28,862 --> 00:11:31,560
just busted through this
lesbianic force field.
268
00:11:31,603 --> 00:11:33,562
[ Laughs ]
269
00:11:33,605 --> 00:11:35,869
I guess so.
270
00:11:35,912 --> 00:11:37,784
I'd do anything
for you.
271
00:11:37,827 --> 00:11:39,699
You know that,
right?
272
00:11:44,921 --> 00:11:48,011
[ Hooded Fang's
"Almost Done" plays ]
273
00:12:07,291 --> 00:12:12,993
♪ Definition of
last night's pine ♪
274
00:12:13,036 --> 00:12:18,650
♪ Open-ended till
you fell behind ♪
275
00:12:18,694 --> 00:12:20,565
Oh.
276
00:12:20,609 --> 00:12:21,566
[ Chuckles ]
277
00:12:24,831 --> 00:12:26,354
Lori: Hey!
278
00:12:28,965 --> 00:12:30,880
Somebody's perky
this morning.
279
00:12:30,924 --> 00:12:33,448
Yeah. You know,
just feeling lighter.
280
00:12:33,491 --> 00:12:35,798
Letting all
that bad stuff...go.
281
00:12:35,842 --> 00:12:37,582
Sounds like a poop thing.
It's not.
282
00:12:37,626 --> 00:12:39,889
But anyway,
I have a feeling
283
00:12:39,933 --> 00:12:42,413
that you are gonna
have a super-terrific
day, neighbor.
284
00:12:43,850 --> 00:12:45,373
Are you on something?
285
00:12:45,416 --> 00:12:46,330
No.
286
00:12:48,506 --> 00:12:51,640
Okay, well, um...
thanks, Lori.
287
00:12:51,683 --> 00:12:54,077
You have
a super-terrific day, too.
288
00:12:54,121 --> 00:12:55,687
Oh, I will.
289
00:12:55,731 --> 00:12:56,688
Bye.
290
00:13:03,608 --> 00:13:05,132
Ava: Glad somebody's
happy.
291
00:13:05,175 --> 00:13:06,960
[ Groans ]
292
00:13:07,003 --> 00:13:09,049
I get to spend
another morning in
the girl's bathroom
293
00:13:09,092 --> 00:13:10,877
trying to flush the scent
of asparagus urine
294
00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:12,008
out of my nostrils.
295
00:13:12,052 --> 00:13:13,793
Oh, I almost forgot.
296
00:13:18,101 --> 00:13:19,755
No fucking way.
297
00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:21,365
Yesfucking way.
298
00:13:21,409 --> 00:13:23,237
Fresh start,
clean slate.
299
00:13:23,280 --> 00:13:25,239
But you do have to
pay it forward.
300
00:13:25,282 --> 00:13:27,067
Meaning?
301
00:13:27,110 --> 00:13:29,591
[ Sighs ]
Well, don't be an asshole.
302
00:13:34,030 --> 00:13:35,727
This feels like
a trap.
303
00:13:35,771 --> 00:13:39,253
♪♪
304
00:13:39,296 --> 00:13:41,908
Okay, it's noon o'clock
somewhere.
305
00:13:41,951 --> 00:13:43,300
[ Sighs ]
You know what?
306
00:13:43,344 --> 00:13:45,172
I am totally cool
leveraging the prospect
307
00:13:45,215 --> 00:13:47,174
of eventual pregnancy
as an excuse
308
00:13:47,217 --> 00:13:48,566
to drink...
309
00:13:48,610 --> 00:13:50,438
almost
constantly.
310
00:13:50,481 --> 00:13:52,614
Hey, you know what
the PSA says...
311
00:13:52,657 --> 00:13:55,965
"Friends don't let friends
binge-drink alone."
312
00:13:56,009 --> 00:13:56,748
Mm-hmm.Mm-hmm.
313
00:13:56,792 --> 00:13:57,793
So let's
get it?
314
00:13:57,837 --> 00:13:58,750
Get it.
315
00:13:58,794 --> 00:13:59,882
Get it.Get it, girl!
316
00:13:59,926 --> 00:14:01,275
Shaun,
here we come.
317
00:14:01,928 --> 00:14:03,973
You just snorted.I did a little bit.
318
00:14:07,150 --> 00:14:08,325
[ Coughs ]
319
00:14:09,109 --> 00:14:10,414
What?
320
00:14:10,458 --> 00:14:12,286
You start work
in 47 minutes.
321
00:14:12,329 --> 00:14:13,461
That --
That's at noon.
322
00:14:13,504 --> 00:14:15,245
So?Uh, it's just...
323
00:14:15,289 --> 00:14:17,857
you can't fulfill the duties
of a skilled bartender
324
00:14:17,900 --> 00:14:18,945
when you're
highly inebriated.
325
00:14:18,988 --> 00:14:20,903
[ Stifles laugh ]
326
00:14:20,947 --> 00:14:23,775
I could be drunk
anda goldfish
327
00:14:23,819 --> 00:14:26,735
and still "fulfill my
duties as bartender"
better than you.
328
00:14:26,778 --> 00:14:28,432
Oh, that's --
that's very funny.
329
00:14:28,476 --> 00:14:29,869
Yeah, because
it's very true.
330
00:14:29,912 --> 00:14:31,131
It is very true.
331
00:14:31,174 --> 00:14:32,567
Y-You might want
to take a look around
332
00:14:32,610 --> 00:14:35,613
'cause it's just
the two of you and, like...
333
00:14:35,657 --> 00:14:37,050
barfly over there.
334
00:14:42,359 --> 00:14:44,013
Anyways,
I'm having a baby.
335
00:14:44,057 --> 00:14:46,929
Now get us another shot.
We're celebrating.
336
00:14:46,973 --> 00:14:48,975
[ Laughs ]You're kidding,
right?
337
00:14:50,106 --> 00:14:51,673
Of course
I'm kidding.
338
00:14:51,716 --> 00:14:53,936
[ Scoffs ]
Geez.
339
00:14:53,980 --> 00:14:55,503
Silly boy.
340
00:14:55,546 --> 00:14:57,113
That wasn't funny.
341
00:14:59,246 --> 00:15:01,509
Shots.
But seriously,
I'm way pregnant.
342
00:15:01,552 --> 00:15:03,424
Oh, whoa.
Oh, don't be doing that.
343
00:15:03,467 --> 00:15:04,729
Oh, and she did it.
344
00:15:04,773 --> 00:15:05,730
Mm-hmm.
345
00:15:05,774 --> 00:15:07,602
Okay.
346
00:15:07,645 --> 00:15:08,908
One more.I'm closing.
347
00:15:08,951 --> 00:15:11,693
[ Footsteps ]
348
00:15:14,435 --> 00:15:17,003
[ Clears throat ]
349
00:15:17,046 --> 00:15:19,744
Sorry. Can't seem
to figure out how to
notstartle people.
350
00:15:19,788 --> 00:15:21,746
Well, if I had a door,
you could knock on it,
351
00:15:21,790 --> 00:15:23,966
but I don't because
I'm stuck in a fucking
corner because --
352
00:15:24,010 --> 00:15:25,576
I normally wouldn't
interrupt you,
353
00:15:25,620 --> 00:15:28,623
but Ms. Monro would like
to see you in your office.
354
00:15:28,666 --> 00:15:31,321
Don't you mean Dani wants
to see me in heroffice?
355
00:15:31,365 --> 00:15:33,236
That's what I thought.
356
00:15:33,280 --> 00:15:35,325
She made me say it like
a dozen times to make
sure I got it right.
357
00:15:35,369 --> 00:15:37,066
Ms. Monro would like
to see you in youroffice.
358
00:15:37,110 --> 00:15:38,676
Southeast corner.
359
00:15:52,690 --> 00:15:54,040
Dani:
Come on in, Emma.
360
00:15:55,650 --> 00:15:58,609
[ Cheers and applause ]
361
00:15:58,653 --> 00:15:59,697
Yay.
362
00:16:00,307 --> 00:16:02,222
Put 'er there,
partner.
363
00:16:02,265 --> 00:16:03,788
Uh, what's going on?
364
00:16:03,832 --> 00:16:06,008
Well, I did a...
a little maneuvering.
365
00:16:06,052 --> 00:16:08,619
You're heading up the Hamilton
Theater Project again.
366
00:16:08,663 --> 00:16:11,144
Press release for
your promotion goes
out this afternoon.
367
00:16:11,187 --> 00:16:12,406
[ Chuckles ]
368
00:16:12,449 --> 00:16:14,495
Uh, can I talk to you
for a minute?
369
00:16:14,538 --> 00:16:15,931
Of course.
370
00:16:25,723 --> 00:16:27,682
I was going to present this
to you at the party, but --
371
00:16:27,725 --> 00:16:29,466
You're putting on quite
a show, aren't you?
372
00:16:29,510 --> 00:16:31,381
What the fuck is that
supposed to mean?
373
00:16:31,425 --> 00:16:33,209
My neighbor,
Lori Matherfield,
374
00:16:33,253 --> 00:16:36,386
she was clenching in
such a big, fat, juicy
secret this morning...
375
00:16:36,430 --> 00:16:38,214
I thought she
was gonna explode.
376
00:16:40,434 --> 00:16:42,697
She's gonna tell me.
377
00:16:42,740 --> 00:16:44,220
Fine, if you really
must ruin it.
378
00:16:44,264 --> 00:16:45,787
[ Chuckles ]
379
00:16:45,830 --> 00:16:47,528
What, you mean expose this
bullshit piece of theater
380
00:16:47,571 --> 00:16:49,530
starring you as the
magnanimous senior partner?
381
00:16:50,705 --> 00:16:53,055
There was a meeting...
at Hamilton.
382
00:16:53,099 --> 00:16:54,970
Mm.
I kinda figured.
383
00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:56,363
This Matherfield cunt --
384
00:16:56,406 --> 00:16:58,234
Don't --
Don't call her that.
385
00:16:58,278 --> 00:17:00,236
Oh, she's your
buddy now?
386
00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:01,977
I-I don't know
what she is, but...
387
00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:03,979
you know,
she's not that.
388
00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:05,633
The jury's still out
on you,though.
389
00:17:07,374 --> 00:17:09,202
Do you really want to
play it like this?
390
00:17:09,245 --> 00:17:10,725
Just finish your story.
391
00:17:13,597 --> 00:17:15,208
She called together
the Alumni Board,
392
00:17:15,251 --> 00:17:16,731
Dean Weinstock,
393
00:17:16,774 --> 00:17:18,515
and a few other of
the administrative types,
394
00:17:18,559 --> 00:17:20,256
and made a speech
on your behalf.
395
00:17:21,605 --> 00:17:22,911
And?
396
00:17:22,954 --> 00:17:25,044
Like I said, you're back
on the project.
397
00:17:26,349 --> 00:17:27,829
And what if I say no?
398
00:17:29,613 --> 00:17:30,701
What?
399
00:17:30,745 --> 00:17:32,921
Why would you say no?
400
00:17:32,964 --> 00:17:35,489
What if I decide not
to head up the project?
401
00:17:41,016 --> 00:17:42,322
We lose it.
402
00:17:42,365 --> 00:17:43,714
Excuse me?
403
00:17:43,758 --> 00:17:46,369
And I fire you so
fucking hard, Trakarsky.
404
00:17:46,413 --> 00:17:47,675
Ooh, I'm scared.
405
00:17:47,718 --> 00:17:49,068
And before the door
hits your ass,
406
00:17:49,111 --> 00:17:51,026
I initiate the first
of 100 calls
407
00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:53,420
to make sure you never work
in this town again.
408
00:17:53,463 --> 00:17:55,987
[ Laughing ] Stop,
I'm gonna piss my pants.
409
00:17:56,031 --> 00:17:58,251
You play it as cool
as you want, but...
410
00:17:58,294 --> 00:18:00,949
we both know we're stuck
with each other.
411
00:18:00,992 --> 00:18:03,343
Now, why don't we go back
to your new office,
412
00:18:03,386 --> 00:18:04,909
put on our big-girl
smiles...
413
00:18:04,953 --> 00:18:06,868
Oh, I can't.
I'm meeting a friend.
414
00:18:06,911 --> 00:18:10,089
Um, but I will give
you my decision as
soon as I get back.
415
00:18:10,132 --> 00:18:11,438
What fucking decision?
416
00:18:11,481 --> 00:18:13,527
There's no door number two,
Trakarsky.
417
00:18:13,570 --> 00:18:15,703
There's always
a door number two, Monro.
418
00:18:20,186 --> 00:18:22,536
♪♪
419
00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:26,061
Did I happen to mention
that my wife and I
420
00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:28,542
had wild, animalistic
morning sex today?
421
00:18:28,585 --> 00:18:29,891
Yeah, like
three times so far.
422
00:18:31,501 --> 00:18:33,851
Why is it so...
gross when a guy
423
00:18:33,895 --> 00:18:35,810
brags about having sex
with his wife?
424
00:18:35,853 --> 00:18:38,160
Yeah, like, when
you tap Mila Kunis,
you can brag,
425
00:18:38,204 --> 00:18:40,162
but telling people
you tapped your wife --
426
00:18:40,206 --> 00:18:41,946
it's just...weird.
427
00:18:41,990 --> 00:18:44,123
You're ruining
this whole thing,
thank you very much.
428
00:18:46,212 --> 00:18:48,823
Okay, well,
here's something...
429
00:18:48,866 --> 00:18:51,565
me, Emma, and Izzy
are gonna have a baby.
430
00:18:51,608 --> 00:18:53,088
You're gonna have
a threesome baby?
431
00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:54,742
How is that
even possible?
432
00:18:54,785 --> 00:18:56,613
No, it's...
it's my s-sperm,
433
00:18:56,657 --> 00:18:58,833
Emma's eggs,
and Izzy's uterus.
434
00:19:00,182 --> 00:19:02,924
But then we got to...
move downtown.
435
00:19:02,967 --> 00:19:04,708
That is some
very weird science.
436
00:19:04,752 --> 00:19:07,624
Is there, like, a
polygamist community
down there or a --
437
00:19:07,668 --> 00:19:10,279
some special school
for children of threesomes
I don't know about?
438
00:19:10,323 --> 00:19:13,021
Well, it's just Izzy's
part of the bargain.
439
00:19:13,064 --> 00:19:15,241
We get her womb
and she gets a loft.
440
00:19:15,284 --> 00:19:17,199
Ah. Translation...
441
00:19:17,243 --> 00:19:19,723
she doesn't want
to live anywhere near
you boring losers.
442
00:19:19,767 --> 00:19:22,509
Oh, yeah, because
your gated community
of uber-Caucasians
443
00:19:22,552 --> 00:19:25,207
gets the hipster
seal of approval.
444
00:19:25,251 --> 00:19:26,948
My backyard bocce ball
tournaments
445
00:19:26,991 --> 00:19:30,299
get pretty fucking wild after
a few Belgian ales, David.
446
00:19:30,343 --> 00:19:32,040
Whitest thing
you've ever said.
447
00:19:32,083 --> 00:19:34,303
I gotta be honest, you know,
it's all happening so fast.
448
00:19:34,347 --> 00:19:36,218
It's like one night
you're prancing around
449
00:19:36,262 --> 00:19:38,351
an unfinished loft
doing a fertility dance,
450
00:19:38,394 --> 00:19:40,570
and the next day,
you're sitting across
a professional
451
00:19:40,614 --> 00:19:42,746
talking about
a three-parent baby.
452
00:19:46,881 --> 00:19:48,665
What?
453
00:19:48,709 --> 00:19:51,494
It's just...
one of those...
454
00:19:51,538 --> 00:19:53,844
once-in-a-lifetime
sentences.
455
00:19:58,066 --> 00:19:59,589
Mm.
456
00:19:59,633 --> 00:20:01,983
[ Sighs ]
Sorry the sitter bailed.
457
00:20:02,026 --> 00:20:03,637
I was dying to
get out of the house.
458
00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:06,292
Oh, it's cool.
I had stuff to do
at the house anyway.
459
00:20:06,335 --> 00:20:08,076
I want to
open one.
Do you want
to open one?
460
00:20:08,119 --> 00:20:10,121
What? Yeah?
What do you -- What?
461
00:20:10,165 --> 00:20:11,210
What did you
have to do?
462
00:20:11,253 --> 00:20:14,169
You know, like...
stuff.
463
00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:15,562
You're being weird.
464
00:20:15,605 --> 00:20:18,608
Sort of rerouting
the conception strategy.
465
00:20:18,652 --> 00:20:19,740
Yeah?
466
00:20:21,742 --> 00:20:23,265
We have an appointment
today to discuss
467
00:20:23,309 --> 00:20:25,485
other options
at 4:00.
468
00:20:25,528 --> 00:20:27,617
Okay. What kind
of options?
469
00:20:27,661 --> 00:20:30,141
You know,
like...Izzy...
470
00:20:30,185 --> 00:20:32,448
carrying our baby --
stuff like that.
471
00:20:32,492 --> 00:20:34,711
Baby."Baby". I know, right?
Hilarious.
472
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:38,933
Wait, you're kidding,
right?
473
00:20:38,976 --> 00:20:40,064
Nope.
474
00:20:42,806 --> 00:20:44,199
Do you remember
what you said to me
475
00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:46,680
in the...
Lesbian Temple of Tea
476
00:20:46,723 --> 00:20:48,682
how you're not sure about
anything in your life
477
00:20:48,725 --> 00:20:50,684
sexually,
professionally, or...
478
00:20:50,727 --> 00:20:52,076
reproductively?
479
00:20:52,120 --> 00:20:53,295
Jack wants a baby.
480
00:20:53,948 --> 00:20:56,211
Jackwants a baby.
481
00:20:58,779 --> 00:21:00,520
[ Knock on door ]We're in here.
482
00:21:00,563 --> 00:21:01,782
Lori: Hello?
483
00:21:01,825 --> 00:21:03,305
[ Whispering ] Lori?[ Door closes ]
484
00:21:04,959 --> 00:21:06,395
Oh! Hey.Hey.
485
00:21:08,745 --> 00:21:10,878
That was a pretty amazing
thing you did for me,
486
00:21:10,921 --> 00:21:12,271
Lori Matherfield.
487
00:21:12,314 --> 00:21:13,881
Oh.
488
00:21:13,924 --> 00:21:15,970
Somebody please tell me
what's going on right now.
489
00:21:16,013 --> 00:21:19,190
Lo called together
the Alumni Board
and Dean Weinstock
490
00:21:19,234 --> 00:21:22,019
and fixed everything
on the Theater Project.
491
00:21:22,063 --> 00:21:23,804
Oh, so you're
a partner again?
492
00:21:23,847 --> 00:21:25,719
Mm, maybe.
493
00:21:25,762 --> 00:21:26,676
Hug her.
494
00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:27,895
Huh? What's that?
495
00:21:27,938 --> 00:21:29,940
Hug -- Hug Lo.
She deserves it.
496
00:21:29,984 --> 00:21:33,204
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
497
00:21:33,248 --> 00:21:34,423
Here, I'll take her.
498
00:21:34,467 --> 00:21:35,772
Hi.
499
00:21:35,816 --> 00:21:37,339
How do you want
to do this? Uh...
500
00:21:37,383 --> 00:21:38,514
Okay.
Okay.
501
00:21:38,558 --> 00:21:39,602
Yes.It's okay.
502
00:21:39,646 --> 00:21:41,038
I want you two
to become friends.
503
00:21:41,082 --> 00:21:42,170
It's nice.
504
00:21:42,213 --> 00:21:43,563
Okay, spill it,
Trakarsky.
505
00:21:43,606 --> 00:21:46,261
What the fuck is this about?
Are you...dying?
506
00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:48,394
Oh, I love that one
necklace of yours.
507
00:21:48,437 --> 00:21:50,613
The -- The antique-y one
with the rubies.
508
00:21:52,572 --> 00:21:55,139
What? It's a joke.
I can make jokes now, right?
509
00:21:55,183 --> 00:21:56,140
I'm Lo.
510
00:21:56,184 --> 00:21:58,360
♪♪
511
00:22:01,537 --> 00:22:02,582
Hey,
baby daddy.
512
00:22:02,625 --> 00:22:03,757
Hey.
513
00:22:05,149 --> 00:22:06,716
[ Sighs ]
514
00:22:17,161 --> 00:22:18,728
[ Chuckles ]
515
00:22:23,516 --> 00:22:26,910
You know, the last time
we sat on the bench together,
516
00:22:26,954 --> 00:22:30,087
I left and consumed
a dangerous volume of vodka,
517
00:22:30,131 --> 00:22:32,873
jalapeño kettle chips,
and pistachio ice cream...
518
00:22:35,441 --> 00:22:37,094
'cause I had fallen
for a married couple
519
00:22:37,138 --> 00:22:39,096
and I could never,
ever see them again.
520
00:22:43,623 --> 00:22:46,843
I went home
and had sex with my wife,
521
00:22:46,887 --> 00:22:50,499
who...told me you gave her
a footjob under the table...
522
00:22:52,936 --> 00:22:55,199
...and made out
with her...
523
00:22:55,243 --> 00:22:59,073
and that...you weren't
her firstgirl...
524
00:22:59,116 --> 00:23:01,380
or her second.
525
00:23:01,423 --> 00:23:03,773
It turns out you weren't
her third, either.
526
00:23:03,817 --> 00:23:05,906
[ Chuckles ]
Rough.
527
00:23:08,996 --> 00:23:10,954
That's when
everything changed.
528
00:23:19,267 --> 00:23:21,530
[ Chuckles ]
529
00:23:25,882 --> 00:23:28,145
Look,
I want this...
530
00:23:30,757 --> 00:23:32,280
...bad.
531
00:23:33,847 --> 00:23:35,892
I need you guys
to want it, too.
532
00:23:37,807 --> 00:23:39,722
'Cause if you don't,
there's no reason --Jack.
533
00:23:40,941 --> 00:23:42,290
I do.
534
00:23:46,468 --> 00:23:48,775
[ Chuckles lightly ]
535
00:23:48,818 --> 00:23:52,213
♪♪
536
00:24:17,064 --> 00:24:18,718
[ Cellphone chimes ]
537
00:24:21,416 --> 00:24:23,026
[ Cellphone chimes ]
538
00:24:46,354 --> 00:24:49,009
[ Rose Windows'
"There Is A Light" plays ]
539
00:24:50,576 --> 00:24:54,188
♪ There is a light
540
00:24:57,104 --> 00:25:02,239
♪ Down through the sky
541
00:25:02,283 --> 00:25:08,419
♪ See the dream
as it goes by ♪
542
00:25:08,463 --> 00:25:11,335
♪ Past our eyes
543
00:25:13,033 --> 00:25:16,863
♪ There is a cold
544
00:25:16,906 --> 00:25:20,954
♪ Wind that will blow
545
00:25:20,997 --> 00:25:26,133
♪ Through all the memories
546
00:25:26,176 --> 00:25:31,007
♪ That we know
547
00:25:31,051 --> 00:25:36,012
♪ Like a whisper
548
00:25:36,056 --> 00:25:40,756
♪ The hounds
will be chasing soon ♪
549
00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:45,021
♪ The feeling
will not get through ♪
550
00:25:45,065 --> 00:25:52,376
♪ The old just dying
with the new ♪
551
00:25:59,209 --> 00:26:04,432
♪ There is a light
552
00:26:04,475 --> 00:26:09,829
♪ Down through the sky
553
00:26:09,872 --> 00:26:15,312
♪ See the dream
as it goes by ♪
37365
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Javanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof