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1
00:00:01,262 --> 00:00:02,959
The adventure begins.
2
00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:04,569
Previously on "You Me Her"...
3
00:00:04,613 --> 00:00:07,094
Were you
drunk this time?
4
00:00:07,137 --> 00:00:08,486
No.
Me neither.
5
00:00:08,530 --> 00:00:10,053
My November rent.
6
00:00:10,097 --> 00:00:12,534
Only fair, 'cause I didn't
give you any notice.
No.
7
00:00:12,577 --> 00:00:14,753
Hope it works out for you,
rebound girl.
8
00:00:14,797 --> 00:00:16,973
Yeah,
you better fucking run!
9
00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:19,584
She wasn't my first girl.
Or my second.
10
00:00:19,628 --> 00:00:22,022
Well, she seemed pretty
eager to get back on
that bike, didn't she?
11
00:00:22,065 --> 00:00:23,632
I thought I lost you.
12
00:00:23,675 --> 00:00:26,852
My brilliant wife
has just accepted a seat
13
00:00:26,896 --> 00:00:30,030
on the prestigious
Hamilton School Alumni Board.
14
00:00:30,073 --> 00:00:32,467
Mom?
I don't know
what you think you heard.
15
00:00:32,510 --> 00:00:34,034
We got some negotiating
to do, don't we?
16
00:00:34,077 --> 00:00:36,949
Lori: This whole "niece
that fell from the sky" issue
17
00:00:36,993 --> 00:00:38,821
continues
to bother me.
18
00:00:38,864 --> 00:00:40,388
Ava: Lori has assigned me
to use the interwebs
19
00:00:40,431 --> 00:00:42,999
to find out whether Izzy
is or isn't your niece.
20
00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:45,654
Shit.She knows I can do it.
I cando it.
21
00:00:45,697 --> 00:00:47,699
Emma: We got
the theater project.
Jack:
That's so great.
22
00:00:47,743 --> 00:00:50,093
Well, everyone says
I'm gonna get partner.
23
00:00:50,137 --> 00:00:52,182
[ Doorbell rings ]Carmen: You do remember
we're having everybody over
24
00:00:52,226 --> 00:00:53,531
for the game tomorrow,
right?
25
00:00:53,575 --> 00:00:55,925
We're doing this.We are?
26
00:00:55,968 --> 00:00:57,666
Fuck yeah, we are.
27
00:00:57,709 --> 00:01:00,234
This is our choice,
and this is what we want.
28
00:01:00,277 --> 00:01:01,496
Do it.
29
00:01:01,539 --> 00:01:04,890
[ Rap music playing ]
30
00:01:08,503 --> 00:01:09,721
♪ What's up?
31
00:01:09,765 --> 00:01:11,071
♪ What's up, what's up?
32
00:01:11,114 --> 00:01:12,289
♪ What's up?
33
00:01:12,333 --> 00:01:14,683
♪ What's up, what's up?
34
00:01:14,726 --> 00:01:15,945
♪ What's up?
35
00:01:15,988 --> 00:01:20,993
[ Indistinct rapping ]
36
00:01:21,037 --> 00:01:24,345
[ Music stops ]
37
00:01:33,136 --> 00:01:36,531
[ Exhales ]
38
00:01:44,191 --> 00:01:46,802
[ TV chatter]
39
00:01:46,845 --> 00:01:48,934
What are you
fucking doing?
40
00:01:50,458 --> 00:01:52,068
Don't fucking do it.
41
00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:54,026
♪♪
42
00:01:54,070 --> 00:01:57,552
Don't fucking...
43
00:01:59,989 --> 00:02:01,295
She knows.
44
00:02:01,338 --> 00:02:03,123
I'm trying to save you
from yourself, dipshit.
45
00:02:03,166 --> 00:02:04,994
Yeah, well,
maybe you should try
46
00:02:05,037 --> 00:02:07,170
and save yourself
from that -- that...
47
00:02:07,214 --> 00:02:09,085
God damn it,
you look super cute.
48
00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:10,739
Really? [ Chuckles ]
Thanks.
49
00:02:10,782 --> 00:02:12,001
So you'll help me
with the toast?
50
00:02:12,044 --> 00:02:13,307
Nah, I think I'll let you
tie the noose
51
00:02:13,350 --> 00:02:15,874
andkick out
the chair.
52
00:02:17,441 --> 00:02:18,921
Great party.
53
00:02:18,964 --> 00:02:20,227
Hey, Gabe.
54
00:02:20,270 --> 00:02:22,838
Hey,
little brother.
55
00:02:22,881 --> 00:02:24,100
Hey.
56
00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:27,669
What in the Sam fuck
are you doing?
57
00:02:27,712 --> 00:02:29,932
You know what?
Not now, Gabe, okay?
58
00:02:29,975 --> 00:02:31,542
Mm.
What are you doing?
59
00:02:31,586 --> 00:02:34,676
What was that about?
Mm.
60
00:02:34,719 --> 00:02:36,330
Again. Ohh!
61
00:02:36,373 --> 00:02:38,593
You cheering
against the Ducks?
62
00:02:38,636 --> 00:02:40,508
Is that
what's happening?
63
00:02:40,551 --> 00:02:43,163
You ready?Everyone has drinks.
64
00:02:43,206 --> 00:02:44,903
Okay,
let's do it.
65
00:02:44,947 --> 00:02:47,341
[ Clears throat
weakly ]
66
00:02:47,384 --> 00:02:49,821
Man:
Yes! Oh! Beautiful.
67
00:02:49,865 --> 00:02:52,215
Jack: [ Clears throat ]Izzy: Yo.
68
00:02:52,259 --> 00:02:54,130
[ Indistinct conversation ]
69
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:58,221
Uh, can -- can someone pause
the game for a second, please?
70
00:02:58,265 --> 00:02:59,788
Don't do this.
I have to.
71
00:02:59,831 --> 00:03:01,181
Don't pause it.
72
00:03:01,224 --> 00:03:02,878
Yeah.
73
00:03:02,921 --> 00:03:05,489
Okay, could everybody...
raise their glasses?
74
00:03:05,533 --> 00:03:07,274
Drinks up.
75
00:03:07,317 --> 00:03:10,842
We have some very exciting news
we want to share with you
76
00:03:10,886 --> 00:03:14,237
because, really, we're more like
family than neighbors.
77
00:03:14,281 --> 00:03:17,458
♪♪
78
00:03:17,501 --> 00:03:18,720
Aren't we?
79
00:03:18,763 --> 00:03:20,896
When you really
think about it?
80
00:03:20,939 --> 00:03:22,985
♪♪
81
00:03:23,028 --> 00:03:25,596
Yeah, we are.
82
00:03:25,640 --> 00:03:27,990
Okay, um...
83
00:03:28,033 --> 00:03:30,079
I'm Izzy.
84
00:03:31,428 --> 00:03:33,169
This is Izzy.
85
00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:35,476
She just said that.
86
00:03:35,519 --> 00:03:36,825
I'm sorry.
87
00:03:36,868 --> 00:03:38,174
I don't understand
what's going on here.
88
00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:40,132
Why -- why are you
presenting your niece
89
00:03:40,176 --> 00:03:41,743
like it's her
coming-out party?
90
00:03:41,786 --> 00:03:43,614
It's act-- [Chuckles]
it's kind of funny
91
00:03:43,658 --> 00:03:46,617
you used the phrase
"coming out," um, because...
92
00:03:46,661 --> 00:03:51,666
Because, um,
I'm not their niece.
93
00:03:51,709 --> 00:03:53,929
Woman: Oh.
Man: Um...
94
00:03:55,017 --> 00:03:57,324
We're together!
95
00:03:57,367 --> 00:03:59,935
We're a throuple.
96
00:03:59,978 --> 00:04:01,719
[ Murmuring ]
97
00:04:02,807 --> 00:04:05,070
We're living together,
like romantically.
98
00:04:05,114 --> 00:04:06,420
Mm-hmm.
99
00:04:06,463 --> 00:04:08,639
[ Murmuring ]
100
00:04:08,683 --> 00:04:11,903
Yeah, so cheers,
everyone, okay?
101
00:04:11,947 --> 00:04:14,297
Cheers.
Cheers.
Cheers.Cheers.
102
00:04:14,341 --> 00:04:17,300
[ Chatter ]
103
00:04:17,344 --> 00:04:19,650
Keep Portland weird.Keep Portland weird.
104
00:04:19,694 --> 00:04:20,999
Oh, my God.[ Cellphone clicking ]
105
00:04:21,043 --> 00:04:22,479
A third --
what's that called? Polygamy?
106
00:04:22,523 --> 00:04:23,741
Polyamory.Polyamory.
107
00:04:23,785 --> 00:04:26,178
So Emma's bisexual now?
108
00:04:26,222 --> 00:04:27,658
Yeah, yeah.
I guess, yeah.
109
00:04:27,702 --> 00:04:29,181
We both are.I'm bisexual.
110
00:04:29,225 --> 00:04:30,574
Sorry, I --
111
00:04:30,618 --> 00:04:31,880
H-Hang on.
112
00:04:31,923 --> 00:04:34,665
Um, Ava,
you're the one
113
00:04:34,709 --> 00:04:37,755
who showed me
Jacqueline Isabelle's profile.
114
00:04:37,799 --> 00:04:39,366
What?
115
00:04:39,409 --> 00:04:42,107
I-I-I don't...
116
00:04:42,151 --> 00:04:43,457
Oh.
117
00:04:43,500 --> 00:04:46,677
The Trakarskys
and -- andthe Amaris
118
00:04:46,721 --> 00:04:50,290
are scheming against me
once again.
119
00:04:50,333 --> 00:04:52,727
Only this time, they've
recruited my own daughter
120
00:04:52,770 --> 00:04:55,382
to cover up
their degenerate sexcapades.
121
00:04:55,425 --> 00:04:59,211
You know, wow, really does sound
tawdry the way shesays it.
122
00:04:59,255 --> 00:05:01,126
And,
little missy,
123
00:05:01,170 --> 00:05:04,739
you can say bye-bye
to that shiny new 3 Series.
124
00:05:04,782 --> 00:05:07,350
No, no, no.
I earned that car.
125
00:05:07,394 --> 00:05:09,526
I'm gonna be
class president.
126
00:05:09,570 --> 00:05:11,006
Mm.
127
00:05:11,049 --> 00:05:13,095
Ava, not to pile on,
but that deal's off the table
128
00:05:13,138 --> 00:05:14,531
now that
I don't work there anymore.
129
00:05:14,575 --> 00:05:16,054
You were also
bribing her?
130
00:05:16,098 --> 00:05:18,187
God damn it, we really
should've brought notes.
131
00:05:18,230 --> 00:05:22,104
Yes. Yes, they --
they tried to bribe me.
132
00:05:22,147 --> 00:05:26,108
And Emma threatened to break
my leg if I didn't help them.
133
00:05:26,151 --> 00:05:28,371
[ Murmuring ]I was so scared,
Mommy.
134
00:05:28,415 --> 00:05:30,373
"Mommy," really?
135
00:05:30,417 --> 00:05:31,592
Seriously?
136
00:05:31,635 --> 00:05:34,377
Okay, you know what?
Everybody calm down.
137
00:05:34,421 --> 00:05:37,946
While certain elements
of what Ava said are true...
138
00:05:37,989 --> 00:05:39,861
Yeah, let's --
let's stick to the facts, Ava.
139
00:05:39,904 --> 00:05:42,516
I threatened to hurt her
if she told her mother,
140
00:05:42,559 --> 00:05:44,082
not to make her
help us.
141
00:05:44,126 --> 00:05:45,345
Oh, well...
142
00:05:45,388 --> 00:05:47,259
Emma.
[ Murmuring ]
143
00:05:47,303 --> 00:05:49,523
Then suddenly our lives
became a suburban revival
of "The Crucible."
144
00:05:49,566 --> 00:05:56,181
This deviant relationship --
i-it might be official now,
145
00:05:56,225 --> 00:05:58,967
but your contract
with the Hamilton School is not.
146
00:05:59,010 --> 00:06:00,969
And I promise you
the Alumni Board
147
00:06:01,012 --> 00:06:05,190
are gonna find this new
information very interesting.
148
00:06:05,234 --> 00:06:07,671
[ Chuckles ]
You're awesome.
149
00:06:07,715 --> 00:06:09,369
[ Murmuring ]
150
00:06:09,412 --> 00:06:10,892
Em --
151
00:06:10,935 --> 00:06:14,286
♪♪
152
00:06:26,429 --> 00:06:27,822
Emma:
It's all cool.
153
00:06:27,865 --> 00:06:30,433
Everybody just --
you guys relax.
154
00:06:30,477 --> 00:06:32,130
Don't look so worried.
155
00:06:32,174 --> 00:06:34,959
It's fine.
156
00:06:35,003 --> 00:06:36,787
We're so fucked.
157
00:06:36,831 --> 00:06:38,223
No.
158
00:06:38,267 --> 00:06:40,443
No,
we are so fucked.
159
00:06:40,487 --> 00:06:42,140
I'm gonna lose
my promotion, and...
160
00:06:42,184 --> 00:06:44,316
I mean, what was I thinking?
What was I thinking?
161
00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:46,275
Who threatens
to break a little girl's leg?
162
00:06:46,318 --> 00:06:48,016
We're gonna lose everything.No, we're not.
163
00:06:48,059 --> 00:06:49,539
Yeah, we are.No, we're not.
164
00:06:49,583 --> 00:06:51,585
Yeah, we are.
We're gonna lose everything.
165
00:06:51,628 --> 00:06:53,021
Emma, no,
listen to me.Yes, listen,
you don't have a job.
166
00:06:53,064 --> 00:06:56,154
I'm gonna lose --Listen to me,okay?
167
00:06:56,198 --> 00:06:57,417
Kiss me.
168
00:06:57,460 --> 00:06:59,810
Kiss me
like you saw my plane crash,
169
00:06:59,854 --> 00:07:02,683
but you didn't know
I parachuted out
170
00:07:02,726 --> 00:07:04,598
until I came up behind you
and tapped you on the shoulder.
171
00:07:04,641 --> 00:07:07,427
Okay.Okay?
172
00:07:10,212 --> 00:07:13,476
Okay, s-so that's, like, a thing
with you guys.
173
00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:16,218
Well,
I -- I can do that.
174
00:07:16,261 --> 00:07:17,611
Watch this.
175
00:07:17,654 --> 00:07:21,266
Kiss me like I just went
Uma fucking Thurman
176
00:07:21,310 --> 00:07:23,268
on 40 ninja assassins,
177
00:07:23,312 --> 00:07:25,140
and -- and zip-lined you
to safety.
178
00:07:25,183 --> 00:07:28,099
[ Both chuckle ]
179
00:07:33,191 --> 00:07:34,889
All right, my turn.
180
00:07:34,932 --> 00:07:38,066
Kiss me
like we're two astronauts,
181
00:07:38,109 --> 00:07:40,634
and there's a comet
headed for the earth.
182
00:07:40,677 --> 00:07:42,940
And we mount it,
we manage to divert it,
183
00:07:42,984 --> 00:07:45,465
but at the last second,
your boot gets stuck.
184
00:07:45,508 --> 00:07:46,727
Oh.Right?
185
00:07:46,770 --> 00:07:48,642
And I'm like,
"I'm not leaving you, honey.
186
00:07:48,685 --> 00:07:50,165
No way," right?
187
00:07:50,208 --> 00:07:53,037
And then the Aerosmith song
starts playing,
188
00:07:53,081 --> 00:07:54,822
and we stop bickering just long
enough to grab each other --
189
00:07:54,865 --> 00:07:56,084
Sorry.
190
00:07:56,127 --> 00:07:57,520
Um...
191
00:07:57,564 --> 00:08:00,654
So, it's not so much kissing
as it is like --
192
00:08:00,697 --> 00:08:03,483
like knocking visors.
193
00:08:03,526 --> 00:08:05,528
We're about to die anyway,
so we take off our helmets.
194
00:08:05,572 --> 00:08:07,225
Just grab each other
by the face.
195
00:08:07,269 --> 00:08:09,184
Well, yeah, but at which point,
your head would, like, explode
196
00:08:09,227 --> 00:08:11,534
because you're hurtling through
space at like a million miles --
197
00:08:11,578 --> 00:08:13,318
Oh, just kiss me.Cool.
Cool, cool, cool.
198
00:08:13,362 --> 00:08:14,668
I mean,
I won't even ask
199
00:08:14,711 --> 00:08:17,366
how two people
can possibly divert a...
200
00:08:17,409 --> 00:08:19,934
You know what?
I-I've got a good one.
201
00:08:19,977 --> 00:08:24,242
Kiss me
like I built a time machine
202
00:08:24,286 --> 00:08:25,853
and I went back
to the night
203
00:08:25,896 --> 00:08:27,855
that
Lori Matherfield's parents met,
204
00:08:27,898 --> 00:08:30,727
seduced her father,
married him,
205
00:08:30,771 --> 00:08:33,513
devoted five years
making sure
206
00:08:33,556 --> 00:08:36,472
that no version of Lori
was ever conceived,
207
00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:40,476
built another time machine
in our basement
208
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:43,871
with, like,
crude 1970s technology,
209
00:08:43,914 --> 00:08:47,004
then finally
made my way to you.
210
00:08:47,048 --> 00:08:48,702
Oh, that is good.
211
00:08:48,745 --> 00:08:51,966
That is so, so good.
[ Chuckles ]
212
00:08:53,445 --> 00:08:58,189
Not as good
as the astronaut one.
213
00:09:00,583 --> 00:09:02,933
Okay, can you guys...
disengage?
214
00:09:02,977 --> 00:09:04,456
'Cause it's my turn.
215
00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:06,458
Kiss me like --You know what?
216
00:09:06,502 --> 00:09:08,025
I'm gonna need
a tongue break.
217
00:09:08,069 --> 00:09:10,114
She's done.No, you --
you guys were great.
218
00:09:10,158 --> 00:09:11,986
Yeah, awesome.Thanks.
219
00:09:12,029 --> 00:09:13,640
Okay,
but just for the record,
220
00:09:13,683 --> 00:09:15,163
I had a really good one,
so it's gonna be...Hey.
221
00:09:15,206 --> 00:09:16,468
...clearly
the best of the night.It's not --
222
00:09:16,512 --> 00:09:18,035
Guys,
it's not a competition.
223
00:09:18,079 --> 00:09:19,646
Of course it's not.
No.
224
00:09:19,689 --> 00:09:21,125
No,
it's about you.
225
00:09:21,169 --> 00:09:22,431
But if it was...
226
00:09:23,998 --> 00:09:25,216
I would've won....I could --
227
00:09:25,260 --> 00:09:26,522
Uh, guys.
228
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:27,958
It's a tie.
229
00:09:28,002 --> 00:09:31,179
I declare this a tie,
so thank you.
230
00:09:31,222 --> 00:09:33,311
Okay.
And thank you.
231
00:09:33,355 --> 00:09:34,835
Thank you.
Thank you.
232
00:09:34,878 --> 00:09:36,358
I can live
with that.
233
00:09:36,401 --> 00:09:37,664
I can totally
live with that.
234
00:09:37,707 --> 00:09:38,969
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
235
00:09:41,015 --> 00:09:43,321
Deep down,
you'll always know that I won.
236
00:09:43,365 --> 00:09:44,801
Oh, come on.
She --
You know what?
237
00:09:44,845 --> 00:09:47,021
You were great.
You were great.
238
00:09:47,064 --> 00:09:50,633
♪ The wheels on the bus
go round and round ♪
239
00:09:50,677 --> 00:09:52,635
♪ Round and round,
round and round ♪
240
00:09:52,679 --> 00:09:55,333
I can't believe they
used our party for their
dumbass announcement.
241
00:09:55,377 --> 00:09:57,988
Should we start watching
our language around Callie?
242
00:09:58,032 --> 00:09:59,947
Why?Gonna go
to pre-pre-school next year
243
00:09:59,990 --> 00:10:01,383
and tell everybody
to suck her dick?
244
00:10:01,426 --> 00:10:03,167
I think we're fine.
Ah-om!Mmm.
245
00:10:03,211 --> 00:10:05,822
Have you even told Jack what
massive cock-turd he is yet?
246
00:10:05,866 --> 00:10:07,563
Honey, it's 7:40
in the morning.
247
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:10,261
I will give him a thorough
castigation when I get to work.
248
00:10:10,305 --> 00:10:12,829
Should we have their backs
on this thing?
Hey, hey.
249
00:10:12,873 --> 00:10:14,570
No, of course not.
That's stupid.
250
00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:16,616
Freaking out is totally
the appropriate reaction to have
251
00:10:16,659 --> 00:10:19,793
to your best neighbor friends
pulling a permanent threesome.
252
00:10:19,836 --> 00:10:21,098
Hello, Dave?
253
00:10:21,142 --> 00:10:22,578
Oh, I'm sorry.
254
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:23,884
I thought you were doing
a rhetorical monologue --
255
00:10:23,927 --> 00:10:25,363
kind of
a one-woman show thing.
256
00:10:25,407 --> 00:10:26,713
There some in there?
257
00:10:26,756 --> 00:10:28,062
I just can't help but feel
a little bit...
258
00:10:28,105 --> 00:10:29,324
Open, open.
259
00:10:29,367 --> 00:10:30,760
...I don't know --
Lori-esque.
260
00:10:30,804 --> 00:10:32,414
Like,
maybe we've become...
261
00:10:32,457 --> 00:10:33,850
Ba-ba-ba-ba....uncool.
262
00:10:33,894 --> 00:10:35,460
Uncool?
263
00:10:35,504 --> 00:10:38,159
What are you talking about?
I smoke weed.
264
00:10:38,202 --> 00:10:40,901
A-And I stay right on top
of my Spotify Discover Weekly.
265
00:10:40,944 --> 00:10:42,685
I mean, lately it has been
recommending the Fray
266
00:10:42,729 --> 00:10:43,904
based on
artists I like,
267
00:10:43,947 --> 00:10:45,253
which is, uh,
a little unsettling.
268
00:10:45,296 --> 00:10:46,689
You know,
we say smoke weed,
269
00:10:46,733 --> 00:10:48,256
but when was the last time
we actually did it?
270
00:10:48,299 --> 00:10:50,432
When was the last time
we did something sexual
271
00:10:50,475 --> 00:10:52,477
anyone would find
remotely disturbing, even Lori?
272
00:10:52,521 --> 00:10:54,088
When was the last time
we even just --
273
00:10:54,131 --> 00:10:55,480
Okay, I get it.
So, you're saying
274
00:10:55,524 --> 00:10:57,047
that we're provincial
and we're judgmental
275
00:10:57,091 --> 00:10:58,788
because what, we're --
we're not cool anymore?
276
00:10:58,832 --> 00:11:00,050
We're too uncool?
277
00:11:00,094 --> 00:11:02,357
Does that matter
to us?
278
00:11:04,402 --> 00:11:05,839
No. [ Chuckles ]
279
00:11:05,882 --> 00:11:08,058
No. No.
280
00:11:08,102 --> 00:11:09,669
Oh, okay,
'cause I was gonna say yes.
281
00:11:09,712 --> 00:11:11,540
Fuck, I knew it.Fuck.
282
00:11:14,021 --> 00:11:17,024
Maybe we start to
clean it up a little bit.
283
00:11:17,067 --> 00:11:20,592
♪♪
284
00:11:31,125 --> 00:11:36,739
[ Indistinct conversation ]
285
00:11:36,783 --> 00:11:41,352
[ Telephone ringing ]
286
00:11:42,919 --> 00:11:44,138
Hey, Dani.
287
00:11:44,181 --> 00:11:45,922
How's it hangin',
boss woman?
288
00:11:45,966 --> 00:11:47,184
[ Chuckles ]
289
00:11:47,228 --> 00:11:48,708
Sorry, that was --
that was dumb.
290
00:11:48,751 --> 00:11:50,535
Well, hey,
what a surprise.
291
00:11:50,579 --> 00:11:52,320
Yeah, so...
292
00:11:52,363 --> 00:11:54,539
Uh...Wait, why?
293
00:11:54,583 --> 00:11:56,324
Come on in,
have a seat.
294
00:11:56,367 --> 00:11:57,586
Okay. Um...
295
00:11:57,629 --> 00:12:00,545
There is
a little situation
296
00:12:00,589 --> 00:12:02,460
that I kind of want
to get in front of.
297
00:12:02,504 --> 00:12:04,811
You're referring to
your new domestic arrangement?
298
00:12:04,854 --> 00:12:06,334
Uh...
299
00:12:06,377 --> 00:12:07,988
Very progressive,
so cool,
300
00:12:08,031 --> 00:12:10,120
all about it,
or don't give a shit.
301
00:12:10,164 --> 00:12:11,992
Whichever, pick one.
302
00:12:12,035 --> 00:12:14,908
[ Chuckles ] Wow.
303
00:12:14,951 --> 00:12:17,432
Phew. You -- You don't know
how relieved it makes me
304
00:12:17,475 --> 00:12:18,825
to hear you
say that.
305
00:12:18,868 --> 00:12:20,740
Please tell me
that you did not threaten
306
00:12:20,783 --> 00:12:23,917
to break the leg
of a Hamilton student.
307
00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:27,355
It was just
a misunderstanding, right?
308
00:12:27,398 --> 00:12:28,922
Um...
309
00:12:28,965 --> 00:12:33,361
Well,
I -- I wouldn't categorize it
310
00:12:33,404 --> 00:12:35,015
so much
as a misunderstanding --
311
00:12:35,058 --> 00:12:36,581
Fuck a puppy!
What?
312
00:12:36,625 --> 00:12:37,974
No!
No puppy fucking.
313
00:12:38,018 --> 00:12:39,846
We -- We were under
a lot of stress.
314
00:12:39,889 --> 00:12:41,978
Did you know
that she was blackmailing us?
315
00:12:42,022 --> 00:12:43,675
Honestly, this Lori person
sounds like a real cunt.
316
00:12:43,719 --> 00:12:44,894
Yes, she is.
317
00:12:44,938 --> 00:12:47,288
She really is a...
318
00:12:47,331 --> 00:12:49,159
Are -- Are we
using that word now?
319
00:12:49,203 --> 00:12:50,639
We're owning it.
320
00:12:50,682 --> 00:12:53,381
Look, everyone is
scared shitless of her,
321
00:12:53,424 --> 00:12:56,036
and she has threatened
to send out a blanket e-mail
322
00:12:56,079 --> 00:12:57,777
to all
of the Hamilton parents
323
00:12:57,820 --> 00:13:00,736
if they didn't
take this issue seriously.
324
00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:03,217
We're gonna have to
deal with it.
325
00:13:03,260 --> 00:13:05,001
Okay.
326
00:13:07,221 --> 00:13:11,878
Well, by "deal with it"
you mean you've got my back.
327
00:13:11,921 --> 00:13:13,227
Right, Dani?
328
00:13:13,270 --> 00:13:15,055
Of course.
329
00:13:15,098 --> 00:13:16,534
We're just going to delay the
announcement of your promotion
330
00:13:16,578 --> 00:13:17,797
a couple of weeks.
331
00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:20,321
[ Chuckles ]
332
00:13:20,364 --> 00:13:22,018
I see.
333
00:13:24,673 --> 00:13:29,199
You know, Danielle,
you have been dangling partner
334
00:13:29,243 --> 00:13:31,419
over my head
for three years now,
335
00:13:31,462 --> 00:13:33,638
always just jerking it
out of reach at the last minute.
336
00:13:33,682 --> 00:13:36,337
But instead of complaining --
instead of complaining,
337
00:13:36,380 --> 00:13:39,035
I keep grinding, and I nailed
that Hamilton School --
338
00:13:39,079 --> 00:13:41,385
Dangling, jerking,
grinding, nailing --
339
00:13:41,429 --> 00:13:44,824
I'm gonna stop you right there
before this turns into a porno.
340
00:13:44,867 --> 00:13:46,216
[ Sighs ]
341
00:13:46,260 --> 00:13:48,784
We're also sliding you
off Hamilton
342
00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:50,742
and onto
the PBJ project.
343
00:13:50,786 --> 00:13:52,483
What the fuck
is PBJ?
344
00:13:52,527 --> 00:13:56,096
Overpriced clothing
for rug rats to vomit on.
345
00:13:56,139 --> 00:13:58,228
Wait, it might be one of those
granola grocery stores
346
00:13:58,272 --> 00:14:00,535
where you're never really sure
what they do or don't have.
347
00:14:00,578 --> 00:14:01,797
Thanks, Danielle.
348
00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:03,494
So much
for women helping women.
349
00:14:03,538 --> 00:14:04,756
I'm not a woman.
350
00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:06,628
I'm an architect.
351
00:14:06,671 --> 00:14:07,934
Are we good?
352
00:14:07,977 --> 00:14:09,326
We're great.
353
00:14:09,370 --> 00:14:10,850
We're amazing.
354
00:14:14,027 --> 00:14:18,031
I'm really digging this new look
you got going on here.
355
00:14:18,074 --> 00:14:20,207
You're like that suburban mom
with five kids
356
00:14:20,250 --> 00:14:22,862
who just wakes up in the
morning, just like, "Fuck it."
357
00:14:22,905 --> 00:14:24,472
Did you
drive you minivan here?
358
00:14:24,515 --> 00:14:26,256
Is that a no?
359
00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:27,779
Are those slippers?
360
00:14:27,823 --> 00:14:29,433
Yep, they're indoor-outdoor,
okay?
361
00:14:29,477 --> 00:14:31,261
I've been unemployed
for like two days.
362
00:14:31,305 --> 00:14:32,872
Will you let me
enjoy a few more
363
00:14:32,915 --> 00:14:35,744
without any belts
or zippers or shoelaces?
364
00:14:35,787 --> 00:14:37,528
Mm-hmm.
365
00:14:37,572 --> 00:14:40,488
That was quite the performance
you three put on at the Amaris'.
366
00:14:40,531 --> 00:14:41,793
Oh, God.
Oh, yeah.
367
00:14:41,837 --> 00:14:43,012
What?
368
00:14:43,056 --> 00:14:44,927
No, it's nothing.
It's all good.
369
00:14:44,971 --> 00:14:46,842
Oh, really?
It's all good, is it?
370
00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:48,322
Mm-hmm.Please.
371
00:14:48,365 --> 00:14:50,367
You guys were like
a slow-motion train wreck
372
00:14:50,411 --> 00:14:52,326
I couldn't seem
to look away from.
373
00:14:52,369 --> 00:14:54,154
Like, when did you and Emma
actually decide to make
374
00:14:54,197 --> 00:14:55,895
that fucked-up decision?
'Cause last I remember,
375
00:14:55,938 --> 00:14:57,244
you ended it.
Hey.
376
00:14:57,287 --> 00:14:58,506
You want to know
what I think?
377
00:14:58,549 --> 00:14:59,899
No.
Absolutely not.
378
00:14:59,942 --> 00:15:01,596
There's literally
no part of me
379
00:15:01,639 --> 00:15:03,032
that wants to hear
what you think.
380
00:15:03,076 --> 00:15:05,078
I think
it's entirely possible
381
00:15:05,121 --> 00:15:08,951
that you just introduced your
first wife to herfirst wife.
382
00:15:08,995 --> 00:15:10,300
Okay,
you know what?
383
00:15:10,344 --> 00:15:11,954
This -- this has happened
our whole lives.
384
00:15:11,998 --> 00:15:13,956
The more you talk,
the less sense you make.
385
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:15,610
I'm just gonna get up,
walk away
386
00:15:15,653 --> 00:15:18,134
before you start yelling out
random word combinations.
387
00:15:18,178 --> 00:15:19,527
Blender, vagina,
fullback.
388
00:15:19,570 --> 00:15:21,007
Yoga, pistachio.
389
00:15:21,050 --> 00:15:23,052
Buttplug.
Fucking unbelievable.
390
00:15:23,096 --> 00:15:25,011
I don't want
to know.Hey.
391
00:15:25,054 --> 00:15:26,316
I'm gonna quit my job.
392
00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:27,927
You know, maybe --
maybe not today,
393
00:15:27,970 --> 00:15:31,191
maybe not tomorrow,
but real God damn soon.
394
00:15:31,234 --> 00:15:32,496
[ Gabe laughs ]
395
00:15:32,540 --> 00:15:33,976
That's awesome.
That'd be great.
396
00:15:34,020 --> 00:15:35,456
You know,
unemployed polygamists?
397
00:15:35,499 --> 00:15:36,718
Oh, yeah.
398
00:15:36,761 --> 00:15:38,024
You should just
shave your heads
399
00:15:38,067 --> 00:15:39,286
and get, like,
crazy tribal face tattoos.
400
00:15:39,329 --> 00:15:40,765
You know,
just fuck it, right, cuz?
401
00:15:40,809 --> 00:15:41,984
What do you think?Yeah.
402
00:15:42,028 --> 00:15:43,638
Be good for you?
403
00:15:43,681 --> 00:15:45,031
Can we talk somewhere a little
more, you know, private?
404
00:15:45,074 --> 00:15:46,728
Sure, yeah,
that's where I was going.
405
00:15:46,771 --> 00:15:48,208
I'll leave you
with this
406
00:15:48,251 --> 00:15:50,079
because it's suddenly taken on
greater relevance.
407
00:15:50,123 --> 00:15:51,820
I got a connection
at Griffin College,
408
00:15:51,863 --> 00:15:53,561
and it seems they're expanding
their psych department.
409
00:15:53,604 --> 00:15:56,042
So I will get you a meeting,
little brother.
410
00:15:56,085 --> 00:15:58,044
Okay?
Got some sauce right there.
411
00:15:58,087 --> 00:15:59,306
Oh, my God.Yeah.
412
00:15:59,349 --> 00:16:00,568
Yeah.Yeah.
413
00:16:00,611 --> 00:16:01,873
That's a good one.
414
00:16:01,917 --> 00:16:03,832
Did I hear you say
that you were --
415
00:16:03,875 --> 00:16:05,965
I hate my boss,
and I want to quit my job.
416
00:16:06,008 --> 00:16:07,401
Yeah.
417
00:16:07,444 --> 00:16:10,752
[ Chatter ]
418
00:16:10,795 --> 00:16:14,103
♪♪
419
00:16:30,598 --> 00:16:31,860
Hello.
420
00:16:31,903 --> 00:16:33,209
Hello.
421
00:16:39,694 --> 00:16:43,002
♪♪
422
00:16:47,615 --> 00:16:49,399
You're such
a gaping asshole.
423
00:16:49,443 --> 00:16:51,619
You're a walking
tourist attraction.
424
00:16:51,662 --> 00:16:53,447
The world's
largest asshole.
425
00:17:00,671 --> 00:17:02,412
So, what now?
426
00:17:02,456 --> 00:17:04,197
Duh -- pizza.
427
00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:06,199
How are you
not obese?
428
00:17:06,242 --> 00:17:08,549
Uh, well,
it's genetic.
429
00:17:08,592 --> 00:17:12,205
From the aliens
that my ancestors mated with
430
00:17:12,248 --> 00:17:13,641
thousands of years ago.
431
00:17:13,684 --> 00:17:14,946
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
432
00:17:14,990 --> 00:17:16,600
Just to make sure --
433
00:17:16,644 --> 00:17:18,820
you do remember
that Iquit myjob, right?
434
00:17:18,863 --> 00:17:20,865
Well, that firm
has been ass-fucking me
435
00:17:20,909 --> 00:17:22,432
for three years now.
436
00:17:22,476 --> 00:17:23,825
Man: Wow.Sorry.
437
00:17:23,868 --> 00:17:25,827
Not literally.
That would be horrible.
438
00:17:25,870 --> 00:17:27,437
Not to mention
actionable.
439
00:17:27,481 --> 00:17:29,091
Is "ass-fucking"
an industry term
440
00:17:29,135 --> 00:17:30,658
for "made you partner"?
441
00:17:30,701 --> 00:17:34,444
Yeah, well, that's kinda,
sorta been retracted.
442
00:17:34,488 --> 00:17:35,924
What? Seriously?
443
00:17:35,967 --> 00:17:37,578
I'm so sorry.
444
00:17:37,621 --> 00:17:41,277
You know how long I've wanted
to start my own firm?
445
00:17:42,278 --> 00:17:44,019
Honestly, I don't remember
you eversaying that before.
446
00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:46,108
Yeah, I mean, Dani's --
Dani's trying to shove me out,
447
00:17:46,152 --> 00:17:47,457
so maybe I turn this
into a leap.
448
00:17:47,501 --> 00:17:49,503
You know?
A -- A leap into my bliss.
449
00:17:49,546 --> 00:17:50,895
A bliss leap.
450
00:17:50,939 --> 00:17:52,680
I'm gonna make this
into a bliss leap.
451
00:17:52,723 --> 00:17:54,116
Wait, are you high
right now?
452
00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:55,683
No, I -- I don't know
what I am.
453
00:17:55,726 --> 00:17:58,686
I -- I just, like --
I just...
454
00:17:58,729 --> 00:18:00,079
Listen.
455
00:18:00,122 --> 00:18:02,081
Take it easy,
okay?
456
00:18:02,124 --> 00:18:04,213
Kiss me like we're...Jack.
457
00:18:04,257 --> 00:18:06,346
You don't need
to do that.
458
00:18:06,389 --> 00:18:09,088
Just tell me
it's all gonna be okay.
459
00:18:09,131 --> 00:18:10,393
It's gonna be okay.
460
00:18:10,437 --> 00:18:12,700
We'regonna be okay.
I promise.
461
00:18:12,743 --> 00:18:15,094
We are, right?
Yeah.
462
00:18:16,486 --> 00:18:18,488
[ Rap music playing]
463
00:18:18,532 --> 00:18:21,622
So, I got a job
at Shaun's bar.
464
00:18:21,665 --> 00:18:24,625
That's why
I wasn't in class.
465
00:18:24,668 --> 00:18:27,106
So you dropped out of college
to pursue mixology?
466
00:18:27,149 --> 00:18:29,369
Respect.
Good call.
467
00:18:29,412 --> 00:18:31,284
I switched my class,
smartass.
468
00:18:31,327 --> 00:18:34,113
Mm.
But the point is...
469
00:18:34,156 --> 00:18:37,116
[Sighs]
I got a real job.
470
00:18:37,159 --> 00:18:40,858
So you quit escorting.
471
00:18:40,902 --> 00:18:42,773
For Andy.
472
00:18:42,817 --> 00:18:44,297
Whoa, Nellie.
473
00:18:44,340 --> 00:18:47,952
Just, you know,
pump your brakes, Speed Racer.
474
00:18:47,996 --> 00:18:50,216
Mnh-mnh, no.
475
00:18:50,259 --> 00:18:52,566
So you're seriously
falling for him?
476
00:18:52,609 --> 00:18:54,176
I'm scared shitless.
477
00:18:54,220 --> 00:18:55,438
I can't sleep.
478
00:18:55,482 --> 00:18:56,918
I'm...
479
00:18:56,961 --> 00:18:59,486
Do you really think
that I'm rebound girl?
480
00:18:59,529 --> 00:19:01,183
Well, that's...
481
00:19:01,227 --> 00:19:03,054
Okay -- I mean...
482
00:19:03,098 --> 00:19:07,320
define "rebound,"
because in basketball...
483
00:19:07,363 --> 00:19:08,756
Oh, God.
Okay.
484
00:19:08,799 --> 00:19:11,193
Nin, I just don't want you
to get hurt.
485
00:19:11,237 --> 00:19:13,978
I just broke up with him
like five minutes ago.
486
00:19:14,022 --> 00:19:15,589
So maybe it's love,
but honest --
487
00:19:15,632 --> 00:19:17,373
No, okay,
I know.
488
00:19:17,417 --> 00:19:18,896
It's like, um,
489
00:19:18,940 --> 00:19:21,682
eight years
of suppressed Valentine's Days,
490
00:19:21,725 --> 00:19:23,336
all the 1980s rom-coms,
491
00:19:23,379 --> 00:19:26,556
and every fucking
Jane Austen novel collided
492
00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:28,079
and became
a super ovary.
493
00:19:28,123 --> 00:19:31,213
[ Music continues]
494
00:19:32,823 --> 00:19:34,216
Listen to me,
495
00:19:34,260 --> 00:19:36,784
'cause I need to be
very super fucking clear.
496
00:19:36,827 --> 00:19:39,787
Do not say the "L" word
to him.
497
00:19:39,830 --> 00:19:41,049
Okay.
Not yet.
498
00:19:41,092 --> 00:19:43,356
Not yet.
I can do that.
499
00:19:43,399 --> 00:19:45,445
I mean,
notdo that.
500
00:19:45,488 --> 00:19:47,011
Okay.Okay.
501
00:19:47,055 --> 00:19:48,709
Do you even wantto be
a college professor?
502
00:19:48,752 --> 00:19:50,014
I don't know,
to be honest.
503
00:19:50,058 --> 00:19:51,712
I hadn't really
thought about it.
504
00:19:51,755 --> 00:19:53,366
I mean, 'cause I don't want
to push you into anything.
505
00:19:53,409 --> 00:19:54,758
Pbht.
506
00:19:54,802 --> 00:19:56,195
What's that
supposed to mean?
507
00:19:56,238 --> 00:19:58,284
Pbht?
Oh, it's just...
508
00:19:58,327 --> 00:20:00,068
[ Cellphones chime ]
509
00:20:02,418 --> 00:20:05,204
Carmen and Dave.
Yeah.
510
00:20:05,247 --> 00:20:07,206
Apparently, they want to
go on a double date
511
00:20:07,249 --> 00:20:08,729
with me, you,
and Izzy.
512
00:20:08,772 --> 00:20:10,818
Seems like
they're making an effort
513
00:20:10,861 --> 00:20:12,646
notto find us
self-destructive and moronic.
514
00:20:12,689 --> 00:20:14,387
[ Chuckles ]I mean, that --
that's something.
515
00:20:14,430 --> 00:20:15,823
Yeah,
here's to something.
516
00:20:15,866 --> 00:20:18,173
Here's to something.[ Cellphone chimes ]
517
00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:21,089
Apparently, I have an interview
at Griffin tomorrow.
518
00:20:22,438 --> 00:20:23,744
Hey.
519
00:20:23,787 --> 00:20:25,311
I mean, how bad
can that be, right?
520
00:20:25,354 --> 00:20:27,400
It's not like you're working
the late-night drive-through
521
00:20:27,443 --> 00:20:29,184
at Taco Bell
or anything.
Mm-hmm.
522
00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:30,925
I mean,
if -- if you want to,
523
00:20:30,968 --> 00:20:32,622
'cause, you know, I don't want
to push you into anything.
524
00:20:32,666 --> 00:20:33,884
No.
No.
525
00:20:33,928 --> 00:20:35,408
Please don't.
I would not.
526
00:20:35,451 --> 00:20:36,974
I'll just push you
in this doorway right here.
527
00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:41,718
[ Cellphone ringing ]
528
00:20:41,762 --> 00:20:43,242
Oh, it's Emma.
529
00:20:44,330 --> 00:20:45,896
Just take it.
530
00:20:45,940 --> 00:20:47,855
I'd hate for you to
get in trouble with the wifey.
531
00:20:47,898 --> 00:20:49,160
[ Cellphone beeps ]
532
00:20:49,204 --> 00:20:50,379
Hi, monkey.
533
00:20:50,423 --> 00:20:52,947
[ Door opens ]Andrew: Hello.
534
00:20:52,990 --> 00:20:55,210
Oh.
Oh, hey.
535
00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:56,559
'Sup?
536
00:20:56,603 --> 00:21:01,347
Izzy:
No, it's just, uh...
537
00:21:01,390 --> 00:21:04,263
It's surprising.
538
00:21:04,306 --> 00:21:06,134
Stop that immediately.
539
00:21:06,177 --> 00:21:07,962
Where do they want to go?
540
00:21:08,005 --> 00:21:11,618
No, that's -- I'm in.
541
00:21:11,661 --> 00:21:14,577
Nope, it's all good.
Bye.
542
00:21:14,621 --> 00:21:16,362
[ Clears throat ]
Andrew.
543
00:21:16,405 --> 00:21:18,189
Isabelle.
Okay,
this is still weird.
544
00:21:18,233 --> 00:21:20,104
Well, doesn't help when you
braid tongues in front of me.
545
00:21:20,148 --> 00:21:22,150
I got to skedaddle anyway.
546
00:21:22,193 --> 00:21:24,848
Emma and Jack
are picking me up.
547
00:21:24,892 --> 00:21:26,197
Aww.Aww.
548
00:21:26,241 --> 00:21:29,418
For a double date
with Carmen and Dave.
549
00:21:29,462 --> 00:21:30,941
Oh.
550
00:21:30,985 --> 00:21:33,292
Amaris have chosen the venue --
China Girl.
551
00:21:33,335 --> 00:21:34,641
China Girl?
552
00:21:34,684 --> 00:21:36,164
Oh, my God,
they did that for you.
553
00:21:36,207 --> 00:21:38,209
They want you to think
that they're, you know, cool.
554
00:21:38,253 --> 00:21:39,428
It's pretty cute.
555
00:21:39,472 --> 00:21:40,908
Yeah.Okay, wait.
556
00:21:40,951 --> 00:21:42,301
You have to promise me
that you're gonna get video
557
00:21:42,344 --> 00:21:44,303
of the
30-somethings dancing.
558
00:21:45,521 --> 00:21:47,044
[ Laughs ]
559
00:21:47,088 --> 00:21:50,309
You're a horrible person,
but of course I will.
560
00:21:50,352 --> 00:21:52,049
Bye, Boo.
561
00:21:52,093 --> 00:21:54,269
[ Door opens, closes ]
562
00:21:54,313 --> 00:21:56,053
[ House music playing ]
563
00:21:56,097 --> 00:21:57,707
[ Cheering ]
564
00:21:57,751 --> 00:22:01,102
[ Chatter ]
565
00:22:29,565 --> 00:22:31,437
You chose this place?
566
00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:33,352
Not me,
this one.
567
00:22:33,395 --> 00:22:35,745
I Googled
"coolest Portland dance club."
568
00:22:35,789 --> 00:22:38,226
You sure you didn't
accidently type in
569
00:22:38,269 --> 00:22:41,316
"greatest concentration
of assholes in one place"?
570
00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:44,188
I might quit my job
and start my own firm.
571
00:22:44,232 --> 00:22:46,887
That's fucking awesome.I know.
Can you believe it?
572
00:22:46,930 --> 00:22:48,584
Yeah.
Is it raining
in here?
573
00:22:48,628 --> 00:22:50,369
I keep feeling
these drops of --
574
00:22:50,412 --> 00:22:52,109
I think
it's sweat, babe.
575
00:22:52,153 --> 00:22:53,372
Oh, God.
576
00:22:53,415 --> 00:22:56,287
Em, I just took a giant shit
in my pants.
577
00:22:56,331 --> 00:22:58,986
I know, right?
This place is amazing!
578
00:22:59,029 --> 00:23:00,770
We can say anything.
579
00:23:00,814 --> 00:23:03,120
Okay, guys,
dance time.
580
00:23:03,164 --> 00:23:05,122
Dave?
Dave: Oh.
581
00:23:05,166 --> 00:23:06,602
Uh, I'm okay.
582
00:23:06,646 --> 00:23:08,387
I-I'm just gonna do like
a little shoulder thing
583
00:23:08,430 --> 00:23:09,779
here in the dark
if that's okay.
584
00:23:09,823 --> 00:23:11,215
Emma,
don't do it.
585
00:23:11,259 --> 00:23:12,608
Remember last time?
586
00:23:12,652 --> 00:23:14,741
Yeah, but I'm so much drunker
this time.
587
00:23:14,784 --> 00:23:16,264
Stranger sweat
in my eye.
588
00:23:16,307 --> 00:23:18,571
Honey --
Stranger sweat
in my fucking eye.
589
00:23:18,614 --> 00:23:20,703
Okay, okay.
All right, don't -- careful.
590
00:23:20,747 --> 00:23:22,401
Don't touch anything
in there!
591
00:23:22,444 --> 00:23:24,794
♪ Givin' it up for free♪Jack.
592
00:23:24,838 --> 00:23:26,883
Come on, Jack.
593
00:23:26,927 --> 00:23:29,059
♪ For free♪
594
00:23:29,103 --> 00:23:33,803
♪ Givin' it up for free♪
595
00:23:33,847 --> 00:23:37,024
♪ For free♪
596
00:23:37,067 --> 00:23:39,026
♪ Givin' it up for free♪
597
00:23:39,069 --> 00:23:42,812
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh♪
598
00:23:42,856 --> 00:23:46,425
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh♪
599
00:23:46,468 --> 00:23:50,254
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh♪
600
00:23:50,298 --> 00:23:52,648
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh♪Come on.
601
00:23:52,692 --> 00:23:57,436
[ Laughs ]
602
00:23:57,479 --> 00:24:01,440
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh♪
603
00:24:01,483 --> 00:24:05,269
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh♪
604
00:24:05,313 --> 00:24:07,054
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh♪
605
00:24:07,097 --> 00:24:08,969
♪ Givin' it up for free♪
606
00:24:09,012 --> 00:24:11,406
[ Laughter ]
607
00:24:11,450 --> 00:24:15,932
[ Indistinct conversation ]
608
00:24:15,976 --> 00:24:17,194
Whoa.
609
00:24:17,238 --> 00:24:19,196
That's, uh --
that's romantic.
610
00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:21,372
We tried.
Fuck this hell hole.
611
00:24:21,416 --> 00:24:22,852
Oh, there's my girl.
612
00:24:22,896 --> 00:24:25,594
What were in there for?
Four or five hours?
613
00:24:25,638 --> 00:24:27,466
It was, uh, 27 minutes.
614
00:24:27,509 --> 00:24:29,990
Did we ever go
to places like this?I don't know.
615
00:24:30,033 --> 00:24:32,209
I have a vague recollection,
but I can't tell
616
00:24:32,253 --> 00:24:34,168
if it was a fever dream
or a horror movie we saw.
617
00:24:34,211 --> 00:24:35,778
Think they even noticed
that we left?
618
00:24:35,822 --> 00:24:38,868
Oh, is this about the thing
I said about the bike?
619
00:24:38,912 --> 00:24:40,174
What bike?
620
00:24:40,217 --> 00:24:41,567
You know,
the one that Emma remembered
621
00:24:41,610 --> 00:24:43,525
how to ride
really fast.
622
00:24:43,569 --> 00:24:44,918
Hold on.
623
00:24:44,961 --> 00:24:47,486
Are you saying
y-you don't think Emma's bi?
624
00:24:47,529 --> 00:24:49,923
You think
she's just, like, gay?
625
00:24:49,966 --> 00:24:51,881
I don't know what I think,
Carmen, okay?
626
00:24:51,925 --> 00:24:53,492
It's a lot
for me to process,
627
00:24:53,535 --> 00:24:55,798
a lot of new information
coming at me about my wife.
628
00:24:55,842 --> 00:24:57,321
It feels like
just yesterday,
629
00:24:57,365 --> 00:24:59,410
I found out
she even kissed a girl.
630
00:24:59,454 --> 00:25:02,588
Pretty much wasyesterday.
631
00:25:08,724 --> 00:25:11,205
Uh...
Well, look at that.Yeah,
I had no idea.
632
00:25:11,248 --> 00:25:13,033
It's, uh,
time for us to be
633
00:25:13,076 --> 00:25:15,209
anywhere else
in the known universe.It's -- Mm-hmm.
634
00:25:15,252 --> 00:25:16,689
The sitter --
we only had her
635
00:25:16,732 --> 00:25:18,168
for like
45 minutes tonight.
636
00:25:18,212 --> 00:25:20,736
Okay. Okay.
637
00:25:20,780 --> 00:25:22,912
You guys
got to talk.
638
00:25:22,956 --> 00:25:24,914
You know?
639
00:25:24,958 --> 00:25:26,307
I mean,
all three of you.
640
00:25:26,350 --> 00:25:29,353
Don't just let it
gurgle around in there.
641
00:25:29,397 --> 00:25:31,007
Yeah,
you're right.
642
00:25:31,051 --> 00:25:32,705
Okay.
You're right.
643
00:25:32,748 --> 00:25:33,967
Okay.
644
00:25:34,010 --> 00:25:37,536
Come on, let's go.Okay.
645
00:25:37,579 --> 00:25:40,930
♪ Well, I've known
since the beat ♪
646
00:25:40,974 --> 00:25:44,934
♪ That I'm no measure
in this song ♪
647
00:25:44,978 --> 00:25:48,808
♪ Just the rest
648
00:25:52,638 --> 00:25:55,554
♪ Well, I've known
since the beat ♪
649
00:25:55,597 --> 00:25:59,383
♪ That I'm no measure
in this song ♪
650
00:25:59,427 --> 00:26:03,605
♪ Just the rest
651
00:26:03,649 --> 00:26:06,956
[ Snoring ]
652
00:26:12,614 --> 00:26:14,442
[ Clears throat ]
653
00:26:15,443 --> 00:26:16,749
Water.
654
00:26:16,792 --> 00:26:20,013
Dear God,
why isn't there water?
655
00:26:21,449 --> 00:26:22,624
Maybe there waswater,
656
00:26:22,668 --> 00:26:24,408
and karma
took it away from you.
657
00:26:24,452 --> 00:26:25,845
Huh?
658
00:26:25,888 --> 00:26:28,412
What's that
supposed to mean?
659
00:26:28,456 --> 00:26:30,632
Are you mad?
660
00:26:30,676 --> 00:26:31,894
Mad?
661
00:26:31,938 --> 00:26:33,461
Why would I be mad?
662
00:26:33,504 --> 00:26:35,681
Who doesn't love
a spirited public cuckolding?
663
00:26:35,724 --> 00:26:36,986
Seriously?
664
00:26:37,030 --> 00:26:39,859
We asked you
to join us.
665
00:26:39,902 --> 00:26:41,774
Right?
666
00:26:41,817 --> 00:26:45,168
[ Snoring ]
667
00:26:46,169 --> 00:26:49,433
Okay, on your side here,
Snuffles.
668
00:26:49,477 --> 00:26:51,218
Mm.
669
00:26:51,261 --> 00:26:54,003
We just paid
three 20-buck covers
670
00:26:54,047 --> 00:26:56,179
to share
the ninth circle of hell
671
00:26:56,223 --> 00:26:58,834
with a bunch of sweaty,
annoying hipsters.
672
00:26:58,878 --> 00:27:01,010
Now this one
is laying between us
673
00:27:01,054 --> 00:27:04,231
snoring like
an obese octogenarian.
674
00:27:04,274 --> 00:27:06,537
Am I the only one questioning
our life choices right now?
675
00:27:06,581 --> 00:27:07,887
Okay,
I hear you.
676
00:27:07,930 --> 00:27:09,497
But there is
a small war
677
00:27:09,540 --> 00:27:11,586
going on
inside my head right now.
678
00:27:11,630 --> 00:27:13,893
Can we possibly do this
in the morning?
679
00:27:13,936 --> 00:27:15,895
Sure, why not?
680
00:27:15,938 --> 00:27:17,636
I love you.
681
00:27:17,679 --> 00:27:20,334
I'm sorry
for being insensitive.
682
00:27:20,377 --> 00:27:24,251
Vodka got up in me
before knew what was happening.
683
00:27:24,294 --> 00:27:25,644
Okay.
684
00:27:27,515 --> 00:27:28,734
I love you.
685
00:27:28,777 --> 00:27:30,910
You already said that.
686
00:27:30,953 --> 00:27:35,523
I love you, I love you,
I love you, I love you.
687
00:27:39,875 --> 00:27:42,051
[ Snores ]
Jack.
688
00:27:42,095 --> 00:27:46,490
You have to
say it back.
689
00:27:46,534 --> 00:27:49,711
I love you more.
690
00:27:49,755 --> 00:27:51,974
[ Snores ]
691
00:27:52,018 --> 00:27:55,064
♪ But love is trippy like that
692
00:27:55,108 --> 00:27:58,285
♪ Sometimes you think
that you've got it ♪
693
00:27:58,328 --> 00:28:03,856
♪ Nobody's gonna trick you
outta this one, baby ♪
694
00:28:03,899 --> 00:28:07,076
♪ But love
will slip through your hands ♪
695
00:28:07,120 --> 00:28:12,081
♪ You never know how to hold it,
control it ♪
696
00:28:12,125 --> 00:28:16,129
♪ You're gripping,
it's tripping you up ♪
48396
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