All language subtitles for The Twilight Zone - S01E28 - A Nice Place to Visit.eng

[EERIE MUSIC]

NARRATOR: There is a fifth dimension

beyond that which is known to man.

It is a dimension as vast as space

and as timeless as infinity.

It is the middle ground
between light and shadow,

between science and superstition.

And it lies between
the pit of man's fears

and the summit of his knowledge.

This is the dimension of imagination.

It is an area which we
call the Twilight Zone.

Portrait of a man at work.

The only work he's ever
done. The only work he knows.

His name is Henry Francis
Valentine, but he calls himself Rocky

because that's the way his life has been.

Rocky and perilous and
uphill at a dead run all the way.

He's tired now, tired
of running or wanting

of waiting for the breaks that
come to others but never to him.

Never to Rocky Valentine.

[POLICE SIRENS APPROACHING]

[GUNSHOTS]

[GUNSHOTS]

Stop! Stop or I'll shoot!

Not this time, you lousy screw.

[GUNSHOTS]

[GUNSHOTS]

NARRATOR: A scared, angry little man.

He thinks it's all over
now, but he's wrong.

For Rocky Valentine,
it's just the beginning.

Mr. Valentine.

Mr. Valentine!

Who are you?

My name is pip. Can I help you?

How do you know my name?

It's my job to know everything about you.

Are you a cop?

Oh, no, no, I'm a... I’m
your guide, as it were.

[CHUCKLES]

Guide, eh?

I need like a hole in the head.

Whoa.

What happened?

You had a slight accident. But don't worry.
You'll be as fit as a new fiddle soon.

I'm sure you'd like to change out of
those rumpled clothes, eh, Mr. Valentine?

Hold it a minute.

I wanna know how you know my name.

I've already told you.

You told me nothing.

Let me clue you, fatso.
I don't like games.

Oh, that isn't true, Mr. Valentine.

Why-why, you like roulette,
blackjack, poker, craps,

and between the ages of seven and ten

you were quite fond of mumblety-peg.

What are you after, anyway?

Only one thing,
Mr. Valentine. Your comfort.

My job is to see to it that you get
what you want, whatever it may be.

Yeah? In exchange for what?

Nothing at all, Mr. Valentine.
It's absolutely free.

Don't put me on, fatso.
Nothing's free. Nothing!

Anything I ever got in this lousy
world I had to drag out of it,

so don't put me on.

Now, what's the pitch? You
want me to do a job for you, right?

I'm afraid you don't understand.

No? All right, let's see. Give me your
wallet, cracker. Come on, come on.

I don't have a wallet.

Come on, Santa Claus.

No, honestly. Wait, wait, Mr. Valentine.

It isn't a wallet you want,
is it? No, no. It's money.

Three hundred, five hundred.

Seven hundred bucks.

Will that be enough for now, then?

You got more?

Oh, yes, as much as you
want. Now, shall we?

Hey, fats.

Now, don't try anything funny, hm?

You like it?

Yeah.

Yeah, it's some pad, all right.

Who's it belong to?
Some phony politician?

Why, it belongs to you, Mr. Valentine.

Mm-hm.

That is if, uh, if you approve.

Yeah, I approve.

Of course, we can make
any changes you wish.

You see, I wasn't too sure about
the hi-fi right over there, but...

You mean, all this gets
thrown into the deal?

Oh, it's already in the deal
as you call it, Mr. Valentine.

Look here.

You see?

Ah.

That is the master bedroom.

Ah, ah, ah, ah. After you.

There.

The bathroom's in there. I'm sure you'd like
a change of clothing and freshen up a bit.

Yeah. Yeah, sure.

But first of all, what's the pitch?

Come on, the pitch, the catch the
gimmick. What do I gotta do for all this?

Nothing, I can't tell you more.

I get it. You're just a goon, huh?

You work for somebody else, right?

In a way, yeah.

When do I meet him?
The big boy, your boss?

[CHUCKLING] I really couldn't say.

All right, goon. I can wait.

Any particular color or style, sir?

No, you pick it.

Oh, I could hardly presume to do that!

However, bearing in mind that you
favor a nice check, I thought perhaps...

Yeah, that'll do.

Yeah. We have quite a
wide selection of ties here,

and I believe that yellow
is your favorite color.

[CHUCKLES] What's the matter with you?

You got no taste?

Now, that's a tie, see?

Hey. Huh?

[LAUGHS] It fits.

[LAUGHING] Of course.

Yes, very impressive, sir.

Yeah, well, I'll say this,
your guy knows clothes.

Mr. Valentine.

Where did that come from?

I thought you might be a little hungry,
so I just ordered up something for you.

Uh-uh. You eat it.

Oh, but I don't eat. I haven't eaten in...

It must be two or three centuries.

Anything wrong with it?

No.

Then eat it.

But I can't. I've forgotten how.

I get it. Give a guy some
new clothes and a bath

and then poison him, huh?
Pretty smart, pretty smart, fatso,

but not smart enough!

A bulletproof vest, huh? Let's
see how your head holds up.

Mr. Valentine, please.

I couldn't have missed,
not at this range.

Maybe...

Hey, wait a minute.

Where did this come from?
This wasn't here before.

What's going on here?

Where am I?

Mr. Valentine, do you remember
when we met earlier today?

I told you I was, in a sense, your guide,

and you said you needed a
guide like a hole in the head?

As a matter of strict fact, you had a hole
in the head, only a short time before.

A bullet hole.

Oh, yeah, that's right. The cops, they...

Then I must... I must be dead.

Mm-hm.

Well, if I'm dead,

then-then all of this,

the joint, the-the
clothes, the-the booze.

Then I must be in heaven.

Yeah, that's it. That's
it, I'm in heaven, right?

You're my guardian angel
or something like that.

Something like that, yeah.

Anything I want, eh?

Anything, anything.

Yeah, big talk, fatso.
I wanna see a little action now.

Right now I want a million
bucks in five "G" notes.

And, uh, and a chick that won't quit.

I mean, I mean, just like stacked,

like, like, like, like, beautiful, huh?

Well?

As for the million, look in that drawer.

There?

Mm-hmm.

A million. A million bucks!

[LAUGHS] Hey, but what about, uh, uh?

[LIVELY DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]

Now I know I'm in heaven.

Will there be anything else, sir?

Yeah, there will be, fats.
There will be, just stick around.

Hiya, doll.

Ooo-hoo-hoo!

Yee! Ooo-hoo-hoo!

Yee! [LAUGHS]

CROUPIER: Place your bets,
ladies and gentlemen.

No more bets, please.

Thirty-three black.

Hey, how about that. I win again.
Hey, fats, come here, come here.

Put your money on the table,
fats. Right there, number 14 red.

Rocky is hot tonight. Am I right, dolls?

I'm afraid I don't have any money, sir.

You don't have any money? What do
they pay you, in halos or something?

Place your bets, ladies and
gentlemen. Place your bets.

[LAUGHS]

No more bets, ladies and
gentlemen, no more bets.

Fourteen red.

Whoo-hoo!

[SHOUTING JOYFULLY]

That makes what, what,
huh? 40 grand in an hour.

How about it? Is Rocky
hot or is Rocky hot?

Rocky's hot.

Go trade this in for gold, baby. And I
tell you I'm gonna buy and sell this joint.

Here, go get them. Hey, hey, hey, baby.

There's 40 grand in there and I count
real good. You know what I mean?

All right. Ah.

I got this table spooked. Let's go
see what's shaking with the cubes, huh?

Place your bets, ladies and gentlemen.

Here, baby, go get me some juice.

Whoo-hoo!

Hey, look at this! Look at this!

There must be $600 bucks here,
huh? How about that, fats?

Here you are, sweetheart.
Go buy yourself a dress for free.

A present from Rocky. [LAUGHS]

Need a car, sir?

Yes, a big convertible.
Be careful on the way, you kid.

Yes, sir.

Something bother you, Mr. Valentine?

Yeah, him. Lousy screw.

Thinks he's [INAUDIBLE] just 'cause
he's got a couple of inches on me.

Oh, dear, that was indiscreet of me.

Better?

Yeah!

Hey, screw, come here.

You got your hat on, crooked trooper.

[LAUGHS]

Ready, sir.

Come on, get in, girls.

[GRUNTS]

Here you are, kid. Keep the change.

All right now, let's open this
baby up and see what she can do.

[WOMEN SQUEAL]

[LAUGHS] All right, girls.
Here we go, here we go.

Into the cracker box.
One, two, three. It's magic time.

Hey, fats, I want you to get
rid of that heap I've been driving.

It goes fast enough. Is something wrong?

Yeah, the ashtrays are full.

Hey, girls, could you
wait in here for a minute?

I wanna talk to fats
for a minute, all right?

In we go.

Hey, fats, how about tomorrow
we look up some of my old buddies?

Like Matt Gorman or Fink
Mitchell, Silky Armstrong, huh?

What's the matter? They didn't make it?

Oh, it's not that,
Mr. Valentine. It's, uh...

It's rather difficult to
explain, really. All of this,

all it's your own private domain.

It was made especially for you alone.

Oh, what about them? You mean
they're props like in a movie?

In a sense, yes. Everything here
is, except of course, you and me.

Uh-huh. Look, sit down for a minute,
fatso. I wanna ask you something.

It's been kind of bugging
me anyway. I mean,

how come they let me in here, huh?

I thought this was only for
schoolteachers and like that.

Oh, we have some schoolteachers here.

There must've been something
real good I done sometime,

something that made up for
everything else, huh? Yeah, that's it.

But, uh, but what?

When did I ever do anything good?

Uh, well, listen, how
do I find about this, huh?

Well, we have a hall of records here.
Would you like me to take you there?

Is it open at this
hour? It's almost light.

It's always open.

Well, all right, let's go. [LAUGHS]

Hey, dolls, don't go away,
will ya? I'll be right back.

I just wanna get something
cleared up with fats.

Come on, let's go.

Ah.

"Henry Francis Valentine." [CHUCKLES]

"Born 1923, Brooklyn, New York.

Age of six, slaughtered small dog."

Well, why not? He bit me.

"Age of seven, stole
14 toys from dime store.

Age of eight, organized
street gang, the Angels."

How about that, huh? That's what
we called ourselves, the Angels.

There was a great little bunch.

"Age of nine, broke into bicycle store."

W-What is this anyway?

Your record.

You don't think there's
been some mistake, do you?

Not likely.

I can't figure it. But if it don't bother
him, I ain't gonna let it bother me.

What are you going to
do now, Mr. Valentine?

Uh. Gee, I don't know.

Fool around with the dolls.

Shoot some more
craps, maybe. I don't know.

If you need me for anything,
Mr. Valentine, just dial P-I-P.

Yeah.

Thirteen black, ladies and
gentlemen. Thirteen black.

Thanks.

What about your chip, sir?

Mail 'em to me.

What do you got?

Straight flush.

Royal flush.

You win again, Mr. Valentine.

Yeah, I know. That's all I
ever do in this nutty joint

is win, win, win.

Is there anything else I can do for you?

Yeah, get out of here, will, ya?
I'm sick of looking at you.

Come on, out, out. You, too.
Come on, out, out. Let's go.

Come on, get out.

Come on, come on, come
on! Keep moving. Step it up.

Come on, come on. Out,
out, out. Dumb broads.

Who needs them?

[CHUCKLING] Hey.

Yes, Mr. Valentine?
What can I do for you?

Will you stop creeping around?

Anything you say, sir.

Anything I say. Anything I
say. Knock it off, will you?

Why, is something wrong?

No, nothing's wrong.
Everything is just peachy!

I've been in this dump for a
month and I can't stand it anymore!

But I don't understand.

All right, I'll spell it out for
you, fats. I'm bored, bored!

There's no excitement
around here. No kicks!

Yeah, but the gambling.
I thought you enjoyed that.

I do, but when you win every time,

that ain't gambling, that's charity.

I could arrange for you to lose
occasionally if you'd like. Would that help?

It might. No, no, it's no
good. It ain't the same.

I would know.

Ah, perhaps you miss your
old vocation. Is that it?

Now you're getting it.

There's a bank at the
corner that you could rob.

Or would you prefer a jewelry store?

No, bank's okay.

Fine, fine. As to the getaway car,

we have quite a large variety to
choose from. Something inconspicuous.

Wait a minute. Is there a
chance that I could get caught?

Of course, if that's what you'd
like. Let me just make a note of it.

Come on, sit down, fats, sit down.

Now, look, I don't know
how to explain this,

but it just ain't the same thing.

What's the kick knocking off a bank
if everybody knows about it, huh?

And the dames. I...

I never thought I would get
bored with beautiful dames, but...

Look, I wouldn't expect an
Angel to understand this, see?

But-but being a big guy with a chick,

it don't mean anything if
it's all set up in advance.

And I mean, everything is
great here, see? Really great.

It's just the way I always
imagined it except that, that...

Just between you and me, fats,

I don't think I belong
here. I don't think I fit in.

Oh, nonsense, of course you do.

No, I mean it, I mean it. Just
somebody must've goofed.

If I gotta stay here another
day I'm gonna go nuts!

Look, look, I don't
belong in heaven, see?

I wanna go to the other place.

Heaven?

Whatever gave you the idea
you were in heaven, Mr. Valentine?

This is the other place!

[LAUGHS MANIACALLY]

NARRATOR: A scared, angry little
man who never got a break.

Now he has everything he's ever wanted,

and he's going to have
to live with it for eternity

in the Twilight Zone.

Rod Serling, the creator of Twilight Zone

will tell you about next week's story
after this word from our alternate sponsor.

And now, Mr. Serling.

Next week, you'll spend a few rather
unforgettable hours in this living room

watching Miss Janice rule
and Mr. Shepperd Strudwick

partake of a dramatic delicacy
that it is one part nursery rhyme,

one part terror.

This is designed for those of you
who are getting too much sleep.

Next week on the Twilight
Zone Nightmare as a Child.

I hope we'll see you then.
Thank you and good night.

[EERIE MUSIC]

Be sure to see the fun-filled family life

of one of America's greatest
entertainers, The Danny Thomas show.

Monday nights over
most of these stations.