Original subtitles

api.OpenSubtitles.org is deprecated, please implement REST API from OpenSubtitles.com

♪ I love you so ♪

♪ I want you to know ♪

♪ I'm telling you, darling ♪

♪ I'll never let you go ♪

♪ I need you true ♪

♪ I hope you do too ♪

♪ I'm telling you, darling ♪

♪ I'll never let you go ♪

♪ Well, you know ♪

♪ How much I love you ♪

♪ And that we'll never part ♪

I think your bookkeeper paid for the flatware twice.

Hmm.

Albert. Albert, stop.

I can't do this anymore.

Mollie, I love you, you love me. I know you do.

Of course I love you. You're a wonderful father.

You're great in bed. You're my biggest account. But you're married.

I'll never fall in love with anyone else while I'm seeing you.

You should work with a different accountant.

You know I'm leaving Beth.

It just takes time.

We talked about it this weekend.

Every time I even say the word "divorce," she loses 5 pounds.

I'm sorry she's bulimic.

But I can't spend my life waiting for you.

It's gonna work out very soon. Her doctor prescribed mood elevators,

and she's starting ballet classes.

It'll be just like the playwriting.

No, this is a commitment to something she knows can't make her fat.

She said when she wrote, she could feel her ass spreading.

She's insane. She's got a great behind for a 40-year-old.

Albert... I'm telling Mr. Ross to give your account to someone else.

I won't let him.

I'll never let anyone else touch my books.

Oh, god...

Oh, god, Mollie.

I'm gonna burst if you don't kiss me soon.

♪ Round, round, get around I get around, yeah ♪

♪ Get around, round, round, I get around I get around ♪

♪ Get around, round, round, I get around ♪

♪ From town to town get around, round, round, I get around ♪

♪ I'm a real cool head get around, round, round, I get around ♪

♪ I'm making real good bread get around, round, round, I get around ♪

♪ I'm getting bugged driving up and down this same old strip ♪

♪ I gotta find a new place where the kids are hip ♪

♪ My buddies and me are getting real well-known ♪

♪ Yeah, the bad guys know us and they leave us alone ♪

♪ I get around get around, round, round, I get around ♪

♪ From town to town get around, round, round, I get around ♪

Follow me. I know where I'm going.

I've got the map. Come on.

Right down here. Come on.

Here we go. Keep up, you kids. Come on. Here we go.

Here we go. There it is. Oh!

Wait a minute, I think I see something. There it is!

I think this is it. Right here.

Yeah, this is definitely it. This is the place.

Oh! Jackpot!

Whoa! Come on, right down here, kids!

Yee-haw!

♪ None of the guys go steady 'cause it wouldn't be right ♪

Come on, dig in, you kids.

Here we go!

Oh! Kind of tough here.

♪ Get around, round, round, I get around ♪

Oh, oh, oh!

Oh! I'm in! Ha-ha!

I'm in! Whoa!

♪ Round, round, get around, I get around, yeah ♪

♪ Get around, round, round, I get around ♪

♪ Get around, round, round, I get around ♪

♪ Get around, round, round, I get around ♪

♪ Get around, round, round, I get around♪.

Are you okay?

Mm-hm.

I broke up with George last night.

Who? Ugh!

We met him in Joe Allen's.

I thought, "I don't want to spend the rest of my life with someone stupid.”

You look lousy, doll.

I have that stomach flu that's going around.

What stomach flu? Nobody has the stomach flu.

- They don't? - No. Nobody's sick.

Want to hear about Albert?

- Listen to what... - I am.

- Listen. - I am!

Remember his shrink said Beth wouldn't get better if he kept seeing me?

- Yeah, a million times. - Well, he's decided to leave her.

Albert's leaving his wife?

No, he's leaving his shrink.

That's good. She was really starting to become an obstacle with us.

Who cares if he's leaving his shrink” he's supposed to leave his wife.

He's going to. He can't leave her while she's sick.

What's wrong with her?

She's bulimic.

Don't give me that look.

It's a very serious disease.

♪ When you hold ♪

♪ A brand-new baby ♪

♪ You need tender hands ♪

♪ To guide them on their way♪.

♪ You need hands ♪

♪ To thank the lord for living ♪

♪ And for giving ♪

What in the...? Wait a minute.

What do I do with these things?

Look at that, they match!

God! You ate all that already.

It's weird I don't even like ice cream.

Ah! There he is.

This is so sick.

Look how sweet he looks with the kids.

If only Beth would stop throwing up.

Miss popularity here.

How can you find a husband if you never go out?

I go out. Sure.

I call your apartment any night, you're in.

- Ma, it's tax season. - I know it's tax season.

I was studying to pass a CPA when there were no women accountants.

I still managed to dress nicely and catch your father.

Ma, what would you have done if daddy was married when you met him?

I wouldn't fall in love with him. You can't control that

- why not? - You just can't.

Listen. Take your father here. Hm?

- What's his favorite food? - Cheesecake.

- What did Dr. Shulkin say? - Cut back on cholesterol

so now he doesn't eat cheesecake. It's the same exact thing.

Ma, that doesn't make any sense.

- You never liked my food before. - I still don't.

- Something's wrong. - I'm hungry.

- Nothing's wrong. - Louie.

- Something's wrong. - Daddy, I didn't eat breakfast.

Something's wrong.

No.

Oh, no.

Yes!

Oh, no.

I take it this wasn't a planned pregnancy.

This wasn't even a planned affair.

Well, let's see how far along we are.

Ooh! Yow! Time-out. Holy cow, what was that?

Wow! Who's that?

How could this have happened?

How old are you now, Mollie”?

Thirty-three.

Hm. Well, remember, your biological clock is ticking.

Beth has finally agreed to a divorce.

Oh, Mollie, I'm so glad you waited.

I knew if I was patient, this day would come.

Remember, your biological clock is ticking.

God!

Hello?

Help!

My doctor did say that my biological clock is ticking.

I know. I'm sorry. I already said that.

It's just that I didn't plan on this, and I'm not asking for anything.

I don't want to pressure you or trap you, but this baby,

it's you and me.

And I'm not getting an abortion.

Mollie, I wasn't gonna ask you to do that.

This is gonna be an incredible baby.

He'll have your sweet face and my business sense.

We'll get him a toy adding machine and little Armani diapers.

It'll be a great kid, won't it?

♪ Having my baby ♪

♪ What a lovely way of saying how much you love me ♪

I really hate that song. Albert, I hate that.

♪ What a lovely way of saying ♪

Please stop singing that song. She gets sick, I get sick.

Say, what are you gonna tell people?

Don't worry. I'm gonna say I got artificially inseminated.

What?

- I thought you'd be happy. - How could you do such a thing?

It was easy. I went to the clinic and got frozen sperm, defrosted it,

inserted it, and now I'm pregnant.

So that's it? Now you and the frozen pop are having a baby?

It's not a frozen pop.

It's not a husband.

Louie, you hear this?

You told me I could control my life. I decided I want to have a baby.

I don't understand. This is the act of a girl who's very ugly or a lesbian,

not a beautiful, intelligent girl who could have any man she wants.

You never liked my boyfriends.

Where did this sperm come from? I mean, who's the supplier?

A medical student.

And?

At Columbia. His parents live on the island. His father's in piece goods.

His mother works in cosmetics. She could get you discounts.

So you're making fun of me, huh? Wait, wait, you'll see.

Someday you'll have children.

♪ The world was moving she was right there with it and she was ♪

♪ The world was moving she was floating above it and she was ♪

Oh, look, look, look. An arm.

It's an arm? “It's an arm.

Look! Isn't it cute?

♪ No time to think about what to tell him ♪

♪ No time to think about what she's done and she was ♪

♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪

♪ And she was looking at herself ♪

And here is the head.

♪ She had a pleasant elevation ♪

♪ She's moving out in all directions ♪

♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪

♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪

Hey! Yo, let's get a little apple juice down here, huh?

Thirsty?

Go ahead.

"The sex organs are molded out of similar tissue folds.

By the second trimester, one can identify the vulva or penis."

Look! Another little arm coming in down there.

What's it doing way down there?

Now, how am I gonna get that in my mouth?

Miss? Miss? Excuse me.

- What can I do for you? - Albert is expecting me.

He's in with his decorator. You can wait over there.

Where am I going?

I think you're going to enjoy it.

I'm sure I will.

Remember to dust it every day.

See you later.

Hi come on in.

Do you think that that other woman out there is pretty?

No, you're pretty.

- No, I look like a big fat pilgrim. - Hey.

How do you like the desk, huh?

It's made of stone from the Yucatan. Beautiful, isn't it?

It's all right.

Oh, it's gonna be great in here.

The fountain stays the same, but this is all going.

I'm gonna have this custom-made mural of an ancient Navajo design.

And, uh, this family of leather craftsmen in Mexico is making all new couches.

What do you think?

I like the Deco stuff

you shouldn't gain too much weight.

My doctor says my weight is fine.

Beth only gained 21 pounds.

Gee, you don't say?

She jogged three miles a day until a week before Astrid was born.

What a champ! Maybe you should marry her.

Don't start.

You're not the only one with problems.

I'm sorry, Albert. I'm afraid of giving birth.

I've never been real big on pain.

Are you practicing your Lamaze?

- I quit. - You quit?

It's just a bunch of breathing.

Give it a chance. It's better for the baby.

- When Beth had Priscilla... - I'm sick of hearing about Beth!

Beth, Beth, Beth!

I don't see how you could love someone like her and love someone like me.

I have a business degree, she took belly-dancing lessons.

I buy medical insurance, she buys magic crystals.

When I found out I was pregnant, I made out a will.

When Beth had the girls, she had a reading of their past lives.

I just don't get it, Albert.

And to top it off, you're still with her!

Oh, yeah?

Look at this receipt.

"Galleria apartments.” - I moved out.

- What? - I did it.

I put down a deposit. I've got my own place on 57th.

I can't believe it!

Should I come by tonight? You better not.

We gotta be very careful just a little longer.

Oh, Albert, I'm so happy.

Does this store have a bathroom?

- You just went two stores ago. - I have to go again.

I love this.

It takes two of them to cover me.

Yeah, but you're having a baby.

You try it on.

I want a baby. Should I have one with Neal?

You love him?

No.

Try some Nobel-prize-winner sperm.

Get out of here. Nobel prize winners ejaculating in jars?

Give it a thought. Don't you want a smart baby?

That's all I need, a baby telling me what an idiot I am.

Like I don't get enough of that at work.

I am so lucky. I found a nice, handsome family man.

Except it's someone else's family.

But he left because he loves me and we're having a baby.

Stop that!

Sounds like the people in the next compartment are.

Mollie... “Albert!

Mollie, let me explain!

Oh, this I gotta hear.

These dresses haven't been paid for.

I'm gonna call the cops if you don't move the dresses back in. Now.

Thank you. After you. Thank you.

Albert, what's going on?

I've fallen in love.

Beth knows all about it. I'm gonna live with Melissa.

I don't know if it'll last or what.

It just happened and I had to act on it.

How can this be”? Why didn't you say anything to me?

I didn't want to upset you so close to the end of your pregnancy.

I don't believe this is happening.

Mollie, this sounds awful, but I'm going through a selfish phase right now.

A selfish phase?

I admit the timing is bad.

A selfish phase?

It's not like I planned on it. It just happened.

A selfish phase?! You dick!

Stupid dipshit!

- Mollie! - You lousy prick!

- How dare you! - I eave him alone!

Come on, come on. Here

hey, oh... whoa! Hey! What the...?

Walt, please, I'm in labor.

I was here first

come on, buddy, cut me some slack.

Asshole!

Taxi! Please! Ungh!

St. Jerome's hospital. Ungh!

Oh, shit.

Hey, you stupid...!

Slow down! The first stage of labor can take hours.

So can midtown traffic.

♪ Welcome, strangers, to the show ♪

♪ I'm the one who should be lying low ♪

Pull over till the "ludes wear off!"

God! You idiot!

Come on, move it!

♪ I lost my shirt, I pawned my rings I've done all the dumb things ♪

Can't you go faster?

We're going as fast as we can. I can't move the cars.

Just relax

hold my hand. Bear down.

That's what they say in the hospital.

Move it!

Oh! God, my water just broke!

Whoa. Hey, buddy, move it!

Come on, let's go. You can't get through here. Come around.

I got an emergency!

Sorry, buddy, move it.

♪ I've done all the dumb things ♪

Relax, we're almost there.

♪ I've done all the dumb things ♪

You're gonna hit...!

Hold on.

You stupid son of a...!

- Oh, god! - Are you doing your Lamaze?

Look out!

Come on, breathe deep.

Don't help me. Just drive!

Lamaze works. My sister-in-law used it, you don't use drugs.

- It's better for the kid. - Men say that

because they're idiots!

Do you want me to call your husband?

- I don't have a husband! - Your boyfriend?

If you have to know, I was artificially inseminated.

What are you, a lesbo?

♪ I melted wax to fix my wings ♪

♪ I've done all the dumb things ♪

♪ Yeah, I threw my hat into the ring ♪

♪ I've done all the dumb things ♪

♪ Well, I thought that I just had to sing I've done all the dumb things ♪

Stupid jerk! My kid will probably be brain damaged because of you!

Don't touch me! Just don't touch me!

I will have this baby without you touching me.

- I'm in labor. - Do you have your card?

You're parked in a loading zone.

I left it in my bag.

Set it out of here!

This is my first baby. I don't know what to do.

She's getting close. Get her upstairs.

I didn't finish this. I didn't finish this.

I cannot do my♪ob...

The first thing you gotta do is put these things on over your clothes.

But I'm not the father.

Nurse, another one's coming.

Deep breaths. Come on.

Okay, this will pass. Watch the head. Wow! Oh!

Oh, god!

I need drugs.

Breathe slower. This isn't aerobics.

Fuck my breathing!

Whoa. Hey, babe, you gotta calm down or I'll have to get the exorcist in here.

Give me drugs!

No, you don't want drugs.

Yes, I do. I'm gonna split in two.

Do something.

She's almost dilated. By the time they take effect, she could be delivering.

What about now?

The doctor's on the way. I can't do anything without his consent.

Are you a doctor? Come on.

- Water break? - Half an hour ago.

- Dilation? - Five, six.

Are we doing our Lamaze?

I'm really trying, but I dropped out of Lamaze.

Demerol to take the edge off contractions?

Oh, yes, that'd be great.

I'd really like that. Give me a lot of it, so it...

It doesn't wear off in the middle of the birth.

Give me more than usual

because I'm in more pain than most of your patients.

How long before it kicks in?

- Give me enough that it'll last. - Hold on, there we go.

There we go. There we go.

Oh, thank you a really lot.

Ah, now that is a little more like it.

Whoa. Hey, here's Mr. Hand here. Wow.

Now, that is very cosmic. I don't understand. Whoa.

What's that little light down there?

That's it, breathe.

That's it. Attagirl.

Push. One more.

No, no, don't push! Hey! Stop with the pushing. I'm falling!

Help, help! Aah!

Help! Help!

Oh, no, put me back in! Put me back in, please.

Let go of my head and put me back in!

It's a boy.

Who is that? Who's that? Aah!

Who are you? Oh, no!

Lady, I'm freezing. I'm so cold.

Let's be reasonable. Hey! Get that thing away from me.

Do you want to do the cord?

- Don't give that to him. - Oh, no. You take this one.

Let's talk about... ow! I heed that!

Lady, you in the gray, a blanket, something. I'm frosty out here.

Hey, no. Don't do that. Don't put...

Get it out of my...!

Where are we going now?

Hey, don't drop me. Oh!

Oh, very nice.

Hi.

Lady, I don't know about you, but I'm beat.

So you're the one that's been kicking me.

Well, you were the one that ate all that spicy food.

This has to be the weirdest thing that ever happened to me.

Well, so far.

I don't get it.

I just don't get it, and I don't like it.

Where did I go wrong?

Where the hell are my thumbs?

I want to suck my thumbs!

I gotta get my own place.

I did not think I'd be reincarnated this quickly.

Whew. What a surprise!

Whew. Boy. Whew.

Who stole my sucking thing!

I need my sucking thing!

Just remembered, I hate childhood.

Look at all those daddies down there,

making goofball faces and taking pictures of their babies.

Well, you won't find your father here.

I really messed things up for you.

Don't be upset because I'm gonna find you a daddy.

This time I'll be smart about it.

I won't go for some handsome guy just because I'm in love with him.

You're all that matters to me.

And I'm gonna go out there, and I'm gonna get you the best daddy there is.

Out, down, in, out.

Well, I got that.

What you got there, little face?

A hand? Did you find a hand?

Heh-heh-heh. Yeah, I got two of them.

Oh, my god.

Oh, my... oh, god.

"On the third postpartum day, your breasts may swell slightly."

Slightly? I look like a Russ Meyer movie.

Workman!

Oh, no.

Sorry.

Oh, real nice. Yeah.

- You got your figure back. - This isn't my figure.

You got Dolly Parton's figure back.

Sorry I hit you and yelled at you the other day.

I was in a lot of pain. I know I still owe you that cab fare.

But somebody stole my purse at the hospital.

How you doing, pal”? How do you like New York?

Hey! It's my kind of town.

This is a crummy tip, but I'll get back to you later.

Wait a minute. How did you know where I lived?

You left it in the cab.

Thanks.

- You never look through it. - Why do you say that?

You're still carrying your diaphragm.

Don't smoke that around my baby!

For nonsmokers who live with smokers.

So you don't want me to move in yet?

I don't know. What do you think?

Did the drugs have any effect on him?

How did you know I had drugs?

I don't. I didn't. It's just...

You can tell in his eyes. He looks stoned.

He doesn't look stoned!

He looks perfect.

You don't look so hot yourself.

Squeeze a thing as big as a watermelon out of an opening as big as a lemon

and see how hot you look.

Ouch. I should call my mother more often, huh? Get it?

You want a sub?

No. Will you just watch him while I change clothes?

Sure.

Don't take him out of his chair and don't touch him a whole lot.

- How are you, Mikey? I'm James. - Hey, James.

- Good to meet you. - Can I suck on that?

Sweet

so how long you been here?

About five years.

In the same apartment?

Yes

were you born in New York?

Yeah. What are you, with the census bureau or something?

Do you like the outside world?

You spend nine months trying to get out

and the rest of your life trying to get back in.

Yeah, tell me about it.

This? This here is your first lesson in coffee.

With nothing in it, it's black coffee.

Can you say "black coffee"?

Then there's coffee regular. That means two sugars and milk.

Which they forgot. So can I borrow some of yours?

Coffee regular. I love it.

That's breast milk.

Why didn't you tell me?

Hey, man, you're on your own.

I'll see you guys later, okay?

I'm gonna take my sub and my breast milk, and I'm gonna get out of here.

Be cool, James.

Okay, fellas, I got something cold and wet in my shorts down here.

Can you get somebody for me? Guys?

Listen, fellas? Hey!

You guys are no help.

I'm cold and wet, and there's nothing I can do.

It's okay, Mikey. Mommy's here. Yeah.

Oh. Very nice. That mommy person's here again.

She's okay. I like her.

That's a good boy.

I start crying and she comes in with a bottle.

Crying. I can definitely handle crying.

♪ Baby! ♪

♪ Cry baby ♪

♪ Cry baby ♪

♪ Honey, welcome back home ♪

♪ Don't you know ♪

♪ Honey, ain't nobody ever gonna love you ♪

♪ The way I try to do ♪

♪ Who'll take all your pain ♪

♪ Honey, your heart ♪

Taxi! Hey, taxi.

♪ And if you need me you know that I'll always be around ♪

Taxi! Yo!

♪ Come on and cry, cry baby ♪

♪ Cry baby ♪

♪ Cry baby ♪

♪ Oh, daddy, like you always saying to do ♪

"Due to changing hormones, over 80 percent of all women

experience postpartum depression."

I'm not gonna.

Like many parents, I can't always be home for a loved one's birthday.

Help, help! Somebody burp me before I blow up. Oh!

- Oh! Thank you. - That's it. You have some exotic baby disease,

and I look like the lead in night of the living dead.

And your father deserted us so that he could pork his interior decorator.

I think you can safely say that it can't get any worse.

Hello!

I was wrong.

Where's my grandson?

There he is.

Hello, Mikey. Do you know who I am?

Uh, no, actually, I don't.

I'm your grandma.

Okay, lady. If you say so, you're my grandma.

- Yes, I am. - So, what do you want from me?

Who's got a wet tushy?

I give up.

Tushy, tushy, tushy...

After a new diaper, I really like some of that white stuff on me, okay? All right?

Have you got it? There it is.

Put some on me. Come on.

Just give it to me and I'll put it on.

Come here. Let me get my hands on it and I'll put it on.

Thank you.

- There we go. - You put way too much powder on him.

Why don't you get out of this house? I'm gonna give Mikey a little bath.

Then we're gonna have a "bubba."

A what?

I

Oh, yeah, she's gone.

If love didn't exist, what guy would you get to be your kid's father?

Someone with a small mouth and good hair, broad shoulders...

No, what kind of man do you want to stick around and help raise your child?

Are there men who do that?

I know what I'm looking for.

A guy who's not married, not into drugs, not an alcoholic,

not a deadbeat, but who doesn't work 20 hours a day.

- And cute. - Cute is not a consideration.

Come on!

Cute is of absolutely no importance.

You're my first date since my baby was born.

This looks delicious. I've heard great things...

Helen, or whatever, uh...

What is this? I asked for well-done this is raw.

I asked for no dressing! This is covered with slop.

What are you deaf or something?!

Who do you have to kill to get those rolls I see on the other tables?

A "C" in algebra?

How many times did we go over and over and over and over those logarithms?!

What are you, some kind of an idiot?!

I've never dated anyone from the health club before.

But I said, "what the hell? You gotta take a chance sometime."

I'm not so sure about that ahem.

Excuse me. This fork is dirty, this plate looks spotty

and there's something floating around in this water.

Have you checked your water? What's in there.

Mikey, what is this mess?

Why are white socks in the same row with colored socks?

And what are school shirts doing mixed up with after-school shirts?

You're not going anywhere till this is straightened up.

- Somebody call for a cab? - Yeah. Small world, huh?

Yeah more mail for Vincent Ubriacco.

- I don't even know him. - Let me have them.

All you do is put them up here and the postman will take care of them.

Good to see you.

It's good seeing you too.

See you.

You son of a bitch! You're stealing my mail!

- I am not. - What's in your pocket?

- They're mine. - You got it out of my mailbox!

No, look, I sent them here. Can I explain?

Do it fast, or I'll call the police.

My grandfather, Vincent, has been kicked out of an old-age home.

I found a place for him in Manhattan.

But I'm not a resident. I live in Englewood. So...

You used my address to set up residency.

Yeah, that's... yeah.

- I could have you arrested for this. - For what?

Screwing with the mail is a federal offense, buster.

Stealing mall is a federal offense, not screwing with it.

Can I get the other letters? No.

- Why not? - I don't want to get involved.

I go out of my way to bring back your purse

so you don't have to cancel your credit cards.

Well, thank you. Thank you very much.

This is illegal. And I don't want to get caught.

You're not gonna get caught. I'll do something for you, okay?

I Ike what?

I'll babysit.

Oh, come on. You don't know how to take care of a baby.

I do. I practically brought up my sister's kids.

All right, then. Friday nights.

Ooh! No, I can't do it. Friday's out.

Then forget the whole deal.

Friday's okay, but that's it.

And during my aerobics classes.

I said, that's it.

One aerobics class.

Saturday.

Can't do it

- why? - I teach.

What to you teach? Taxi driver's ed?

It's not funny.

All right, here's the deal.

Friday nights, two aerobics classes, and no chicks over.

No, don't give in.

Oh, you're pushing it. All right, it's a deal.

Sucker.

Good.

- No milk. - Don't force-feed him like that.

I'm not. He needs a nap.

- No naps. - Doesn't look like he needs one.

A baby doesn't know what he needs.

He knows he's not tired you tired?

No, man, I'm not tired at all.

If he doesn't take a nap, then he will wake up

and want to eat when it's time to sleep.

Yeah, you need a nap.

Who says? “All those doctors.

All those doctors. They write a book, they want to sell a book.

Dr. Spock doesn't just want to sell a book.

Dr. Spock loves us. During the Vietnam war, Dr. Spock...

You're funny.

I'm sorry I said anything about Dr. Spock, okay?

I can't believe she's so upset about a Vulcan.

Big ears, no emotions, right”

got the letters?

- They're in the hallway. - All right.

Mommy's asleep.

Watch this.

Mikey, what do you say you and me take a ride so your mother can sleep?

- Is that a deal? - Just bring milk.

- Can you say "deal"? - Deal grab that milk

- can you say "such a deal"? - There you go.

See that”? That's my cab.

I do this to make money. But not for long.

Okay, Mikey.

This is called driving.

When you get older, I'll teach you.

Let's see.

First you put the little stick in a hole. It makes a loud noise.

Then you move your foot back and forth. I got that. What next?

You move the big circle around and around.

No problem. I can do this. I can drive.

Hey

- hey! - Hey, Jimmy.

That silver plane is a beech 18. That's a cool plane.

That big plane is a viscount, a British plane.

- Hey, Carrie. - Hi there, handsome.

What a sweetie!

Is it yours?

Yeah, but we don't know who the real mother is.

Carrie, I'm kidding.

- Is this my schedule? - There's nothing on it.

I'm sorry, Jimmy.

These things come in different sizes?

What are these, Jumbos?

Look at you staring. You must be thinking the same thing I am.

Heh-heh. Lunch.

Mikey?

Mikey.

Mikey.

Mikey. What is...?

Mikey...

I want to report a missing baby.

I don't actually know if he's missing. Maybe he was kidnapped.

Or maybe he's with a person who is a complete idiot.

Hey, grandpa.

It's grandpa. It's grandpa.

Do I know you?

That's right. That's right.

Attaboy, Clarence.

- Jimmy! Jimmy. - Grandpa.

I don't remember you having a baby.

I don't. I'm taking care of him for a friend.

You sure it's not yours?

I got more teeth than him.

What are those hairy jobs over your eyes? Yikes!

Let me see those. Let me try and grab one.

- There we go. How does that feel? - Mikey.

Lay off him.

What a crackup. Ha-ha-ha!

Honey, I'm home. Mikey: Me too.

Hey, you're up.

My baby!

Oh, honey, honey, honey.

Hello, sweet... Aww.

The mommy and her baby. Whoa!

Stupid idiot! I called the police! I was worried out of my mind.

You knew I was with him.

How do I know you're not a kidnapper? Do you read milk cartons?

Look... I was babysitting for you.

That means the baby stays here and you sit!

Ow! Damn it. “What?

- Got a needle? - In there.

All right.

Sit down.

There we go.

Ow.

Oh, stop.

If you don't hold still, I can't do this.

- Ah! It hurts! - Oh, it doesn't hurt.

Don't do it that way. Ow, ow, ow.

Ow! You are poking me too hard!

Hold still or I can't get it out.

- It hurts. - It can't hurt that much.

How do you know? It's stuck in me.

Ow! Ow, that does hurt!

Ah, there you go. Look at that. That's a big one, huh?

I've never had one that big in me.

All better.

I better put Mikey down for his nap.

Mikey, I gotta go, buddy. I'll see you.

Ready? High-five.

I ow-five.

Baby-five.

Heh. Bye, kid. Later. Bye.

Come on, my little angel-head. Hello, sweetie.

Mollie.

- Who was that? - The babysitter.

The babysitter. Yeah.

I just want to know one thing. He's not the frozen pop, is he?

- Ma! - All right, give me the baby.

♪ When I grow up to be a man ♪

♪ Will I dig the same things that turned me on as a kid? ♪

♪ Will I Joke around ♪

♪ And still dig those sounds ♪

♪ When I grow up to be a man? ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Will my kids be proud if their old man's really a square? ♪

♪ Eighteen, 19 ♪

♪ When they're out having fun yeah, will I still wanna have my share? ♪

♪ Twenty ♪

♪ Will I love my mom ♪

- ♪ For the rest of my life ♪ - ♪ rest of my life ♪

♪ When I grow up to be a man? ♪

♪ What will I be ♪

♪ When I grow up to be a man? ♪

Ma. “What?

Do you ever get bored with daddy?

Are you kidding”? How could I get bored with daddy?

Ma, you know what, you were right. Mikey does need a father.

I go out with guys, and they're not good enough for him.

- Mikey will like whoever you like. - But I don't like anybody.

You know what the secret is?

Find someone you have things in common with. Like daddy and me.

We're both accountants, we like diners

and we like to go to the movies.

I just thought of someone perfect.

No, ma, please.

He's in daddy's firm. He's handsome, smart.

And he scored in the top 10 percent when he took the CPA exam. Oh, you'll love him.

Hello! Ha-ha. Rosie didn't tell me you were beautiful.

That's usually the first thing she tells people.

But thank you. Come on in.

Thanks.

This is my son, Michael.

I've gotta get dressed, so make yourself comfortable.

All right. How you doing, little guy?

- Who's this yutz? - What you watching, huh?

Watching some TV? Yeah

let me show you.

Hey, don't touch that.

Football? I don't want to watch football

hey! It's the bear show! Yay. Look at that.

I eave it on football

hey. I told you, leave that alone.

Never ever staticky.

What a good actor.

It's the playoffs.

Hey.

- You dick. - Cut it out!

Whoa! Baby! Hot mama.

You are such a goofball!

Don't I look good?

You look slightly cute. What are you all dressed up for? Yes

oh, baby, I got myself a hot date tonight.

You better call your hot date. I don't know how late I'll be.

You're going out with an accountant? Yes

nine-thirty, tops.

Don't count on it.

My woman will wait for me all night.

Harry, this is James, the babysitter. I'll get my coat.

- Harry. Good. - How you doing, James?

- Just watching the game. - I got money on this game.

I understand you're an accountant. I'm a CPA.

You and Mollie will get along great. She's a CPA too.

I know. Her mom told me.

It's gotta be tough being a mom and a CPA.

I don't know. But Mollie's a tough girl.

Tough?

First of all, she hates it when guys open doors for her

or pick up the tab or pay for things.

- Really pisses her off. - Really?

She's liberated, huh?

Liberated? Come on. A guy babysitter?

Come here, Mikey. Say bye-bye to mama.

Mikey. Mikey!

Do this. Do it.

Jeez! Jeez!

Oh, Jeez! Mollie: Mikey!

Give it back! This is really embarrassing.

May I just say one thing?

It's none of my business, but I think you look better without it.

It's sexy.

- Really? - Oh, yeah.

All right, I'll leave it off.

- Great. - Come on.

Bye-bye. See you.

Bye. Mikey.

High-five. Yeah! All right.

Who was that clown?

The thing was,

I was feeling very uncomfortable.

I had this kind of, um...

Bloated, gassy, like a belch-y sensation.

I would get to the bathroom,

and I would sit down and nothing would happen.

Nothing would come out.

So I called my doctor,

which I think would have been two or...

No, three weeks after the symptoms started. He said:

"Come in and have an ultrasound." I said, "fine."

What was I saying?

- Ultrasound. - Right, okay.

So I had the ultrasound, and they checked it out.

It wasn't gallstones.

The doctor says, "we don't know what it is." Blah, blah, blah.

"You better have an upper GI."

So I had the upper GI. By the way, I have to ask you this.

Have you ever had a barium enema?

Not recently.

It's really disgusting. But I did get to see my colon on TV.

Is it true that colons look 10 pounds heavier on TV?

How do you mean?

They never do that for me!

♪ Mmm, yeah ♪

Come on, get on my knee. Whoo!

♪ Now baby I'm sure ♪

♪ And I just can't Walt till the day when you knock on my door ♪

Hold it, hold it. Okay.

Get down, Mike!

♪ Now every time I go for the mailbox ♪

Yeah, I could do that.

♪ Gotta hold myself down ♪

Let's walk.

I'm dancing. I'm bad. Yeah!

Check me out how.

Okay, ♪ump.

♪ I'm walking on sunshine wow ♪

♪ I'm walking on sunshine ♪

Hey, hey, hey! Could I get paid?

Two, please.

Thank you.

You ready?

♪ Stay oh, yeah, now ♪

Oh! I'm gonna throw up, but I like it! Ha-ha-ha.

All right, right on.

♪ And don't it feel good, hey all right now ♪

Shake it, baby.

♪ Yeah oh, yeah ♪

♪ And don't it feel good ♪

Come on, airplane. Ready to go!

Mikey's a plane. Look at that boy. Look at that boy.

All right.

♪ I feel the love that's really real I feel the love ♪

Finally, thank god, I passed the damn stone.

It's the most excruciating pain you can have, next to giving birth.

- I had a really good time tonight. - I bet you did.

A lot of guys would feel very threatened

by a woman being so liberated and paying for everything, but I enjoy it.

What?

Your babysitter gave me some helpful hints.

- Oh, he did, did he? - Yeah, he did.

Come here.

- I really have to go up now. - Come on. Just for a little while.

- It's early. - Yeah, but I'm broke.

Jerk.

Shit.

I'm home.

- Mmm. - You can go on your date now.

Mm-hm.

♪ Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk ♪

- Hey, Mikey! - Hey, Sarah. How you doing?

I want to talk to you.

Where you going? Sarah: On the run.

Right back at you, babe. Good to see you.

Hiya, Mikey.

Is that a new hat, or is it time to change the bandage?

♪ Stayin' alive stayin' alive ♪

Hey, Megan, good to see you.

Mikey, where you been?

Did you get your hair cut? Something's different.

What do you think? I really don't like it.

My mother did it herself, of course.

You're crazy. It looks great. It really becomes you.

It used to have curls at the end. It was so cute.

I remember the curls, yeah. - I was the girl with the cute curls, and now they're gone.

And I don't think they're gonna grow back.

I look like a boy. No offense or anything. Bye.

Great talking to you.

♪ It's all right, it's okay ♪

♪ I'll live to see another day ♪

I got another one. Stop me if you heard it.

How many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

How many?

What's a light bulb?

I don't get it.

Hey, where's she going? Who's that big guy?

Who is it?

That's okay. That's her daddy. She's gonna go with her daddy.

What's a daddy? What do they do?

You know the big man types, and they hang around with mommies?

I get it. Maybe I'll ask James to be my daddy.

♪ I'm afraid this kind of joy can't last ♪

♪ Now we'll eat our pudding down ♪

♪ How can anything survive when these little minds tear you in two? ♪

I still ain't eating it.

Yummy! Yummy!

♪ What a town without pity can do ♪

All right, don't look at mommy. Whoa!

♪ How can we keep love alive ♪

You gotta love her.

♪ ... survive ♪

♪ When these little minds tear you in two ♪

♪ What a town without pity can do ♪

♪ No, it isn't very pretty ♪

♪ What a town without... ♪

Watch this, Mikey.

♪ Cando ♪

Now, that's entertainment.

Not in front of Mikey.

Look at the look on his face.

He looks like his father.

You said you were artificially inseminated.

I was. But I never make that face, so I assume his father does.

Ah.

You know what I was gonna do today that I thought you'd enjoy?

Take my grandfather to his new home. You helped him get in there.

You thought I'd enjoy that? Yeah

you'd enjoy it, and maybe you'd sign some papers for me.

You are such a baby. If you want me to do something, just ask.

Would you come with me to sign those papers?

- Yes. - Thank you.

That's how you handle a woman, Mikey.

Oh, really?

Want to go to lunch? Okay.

Northeastern life insurance gives their employees free lunches.

- We'll get caught. - Nah!

I know 20 different ways to get free lunch in this town.

You do this a lot?

Sure. I don't pay for ids either.

I hate to even ask.

What's an id”? Long-distance phone calls.

I go to these big companies that got receptionists

and pretend I'm a lost messenger.

They let me use their phone. I call my mom, my brothers. Terrific.

I wouldn't be driving a cab if I could make money instructing. You know that, don't you?

How much do flight instructors make?

If I really hustle, about 1100.

- A week? - No, a month.

Oh, god. Why do you even bother?

Because I get to accumulate air time.

Give me my bag! Give me my bag!

Grandpa, he's not stealing our bags.

- I got my teeth in there! - Your teeth are coming with us.

- Tell him not to touch my teeth! - I will. Don't touch his teeth.

Welcome, gramps.

- We stopping for a bite to eat? - No, this is your new place.

- They got good shrimp here. - Yeah, but try the lobster.

- This is it. Enjoy your stay. - Thank you.

Grandpa, this is great! This is great. Look at this.

You got a terrific view.

You got no roommate to bug you, color television. Look at that.

Can I talk to you?

He loves sugar. This is enough candy to last him a month.

Give him one candy bar a day. That's it.

Don't let him find it or he'll eat it all

no problem.

- Oh, no problem. - Smells good, huh?

Ooh! Grandpa, it smells good.

I'd like to see you eat it.

Watch this.

- Mmm. - Let me try that.

What do you want?

Mollie helped us get into this place.

Women have thousands more nerves in their sexual organs than men.

- I bet the kid's not even yours. - Now, that's it. Be nice.

Oh, my god. This guy's worse at this than I am.

Here, let me give you a hand.

Open up. Come on, taste it.

Open wide. There we go!

Hey, hey, hey.

Thank you for helping me. You're welcome.

Want to go flying?

No, that would be too expensive for you.

If I say it's a maintenance flight, it's free.

You get everything for free.

Free long-distance phone calls, free lunches. You're a scam artist.

I got the town wired, don't I?

- Think about it. If we were poor, we could still live like kings. - Oh, god.

Fly with me.

I'm not that kind of person.

- Come on. - It's just not my deal.

- You scared? - No, I'm not scared.

Where are the parachutes?

Parachutes” no, there are no parachutes.

No parachutes?

Didn't you ever see sweet dreams? The buddy Holly story? La bamba?

There's one big difference here. They were rock legends. You're not.

Are you sure your wing's not smoking?

Oh, my god! “What? No!

Just kidding. It was a Joke to relax you.

I'm so nervous. I feel so out of control.

This is what we'll do.

I'm gonna give you your first lesson.

- Put your hand on my stick. - I don't want to.

Just put it on my stick. No.

This is not a sexual thing. Put it on my stick.

- It's on your stick. - That feels good, baby. I'm just teasing.

Get familiar with the stick. You'll be fine.

- You're flying. - I'm not.

I'm flying! That's it.

I'm flying.

- I'm doing a good♪ob. This is easy! - Yes, you are.

Oh, god, what a good sensation.

It's like great sex, isn't it?

I personally wouldn't remember.

He's pretty tired, huh?

Yeah, he's had a busy day.

Want to watch a movie? “Want a drink?

- If there's a good movie on. - Yeah, a beer...

♪ You're my love you're my angel ♪

♪ You're the girl of my dreams ♪

♪ I'd like to thank you ♪

♪ For waiting patiently ♪

♪ Daddy's home ♪

♪ Daddy's home to stay ♪

♪ How I've waited for this moment ♪

Stop it, stop it!

Stop yelling!

Your father will give you something to yell about!

Hey, knock it off!

Whoa. Princess, you're making my mouth water.

I'm hungry!

Hold your horses, or I'll knock you to kingdom come.

Is that any way for a royal family to behave? I don't think so.

Look what I found in that dumpster behind the supermarket.

A perfectly good head of lettuce.

All you got to do is peel off the outside.

Who wants a surprise?

I do!

Could be lunch meat, could be peaches. Who knows"?

Even though it's free don't mean it's no good. Right, Princess?

You're right, honey.

I told you we'd live like kings.

You sure did.

- Again, again. - More, more.

Do it again, honey!

Again! Again!

Wait a minute!

- I'm sorry. I really am. I really do want this. - I do too.

- It's Mikey. - He's asleep.

I have to be clear in the choices I make.

I can't get all swept up in sex and emotion.

That's how I got in trouble.

I can't be like a teenager who falls for someone,

then realizes it was a mistake.

The one who gets hurt is Mikey.

I'm crazy about Mikey and about you.

Please don't hate me. I know I was leading you on.

You're such a good kisser, and I haven't had sex in a long time.

Goodbye. Please.

Goodbye.

- Mollie, can I talk to you? - Yeah?

Uh, could you hold, please” uh-huh.

Let me ask you a question, between you and me.

What's with you and chubby Charles?

What do you mean? “What do I mean?

Perlman's doing the bank records.

Rubenstein did the corporate quarterlies.

And now there's an extension on Albert's return.

What's with you and chubby Charles?

I made up my work from my maternity leave.

I traded Rubinstein two accounts for the chubby Charles' account

because I can't do it anymore.

It's personal.

I don't understand. We're accountants. We're not personal.

- But I don't think... - You've been his accountant for years.

Now when he needs you the most, you desert him?

- You don't understand... - I want you up there tomorrow. That's final.

Don't give me that look.

And you, showtime's over. Get back to work.

Mollie, you have to give me a second chance.

These past months have been a bad dream.

I felt so guilty leaving Beth and the girls.

Albert, you have been such an asshole.

If we got back together, I'd torture you for the rest of your life.

That's okay, I want you to.

Oh, Mollie, Mollie, Mollie...

What?

I'll burst if I don't kiss you soon.

Tough.

Albert can see you now.

Mollie.

- How's Mickey? - Mikey.

Is he talking yet? No.

Crawling? Yes

the first time Astrid crawled...

I'm not interested in anecdotes starring you as the good father.

I've been meaning to talk to you.

I'm here to do your taxes, not talk.

Bloomingdale's, eyelash tinting, body wraps, facials...

You can't deduct this crap.

Could the personal exercise instructor be a medical expense?

Did she suffer injuries that needed therapy?

- No. - Then you can't.

So, what's the little woman been up to?

Is Priscilla sick”? Why all these doctor bills?

Her therapy. Beth's been communicating with the dead.

And it was really frightening for Priscilla.

We're all seeing a psychiatrist together.

I've been learning a lot.

I'm happy for you.

Mollie, I know you've been through a lot.

But you gotta believe I love you.

I never wanted anything bad to happen to you. But I realize it did.

It took you $20,000 to figure that out?

- Do you have a picture of Mickey? - Mikey!

I'm sorry. I'm very nervous.

I think about you and Mikey every day.

You'd never know it from our end.

I try to call every day and I can't do it.

I'm too ashamed to say anything, and I'm too afraid of what you'll say.

I've been so confused.

He has my eyes.

I know he does.

It's very confusing to love someone so much who looks like someone you hate.

Can I see him, Mollie? Please?

All right. I'll be home later on this evening.

Next time you talk to your mom, put in a good word for me.

Want a hit?

Hit me.

Again.

- No, no. Yeah? - Hit it again.

- All right. - I know what I'm doing.

One for me.

Damn! You won again.

I told you I could play.

Listen, I've been thinking about this daddy business. Here's my thoughts.

I want you to be my daddy. I'll tell mommy about it.

Who is it? Mollie?

Is Mollie here? She's at aerobics class.

Call in an hour.

- Is Mikey here? - Who are you?

- I'm his father. - Father?

Are you the sperm donor?

Sperm donor? I'm the kid's father.

He has no father. He's from artificial insemination.

That's ridiculous. Mollie and I have been going out for years.

That's why I have the key.

- Then we're changing it. - Hey.

What? What?

That's my kid in there. Let me by.

If you're the father, you can answer a few questions for me.

- When was he born? - July 3rd.

His favorite cereal?

- I don't know. - Cheerios.

His favorite stuffed animal? Fred or Barney?

- Fred. - Right.

No, Barney.

What diapers does he use”? Who's his favorite rock star?

Shouldn't a father know these things?

How much does she pay you? Five dollars an hour?

- Go out and play. - Don't give me that shit!

Punk.

Come on, "dad." Let's go.

Go for the body!

Ow! Ow.

- You're out of here. Come on, get out. - Hey! Hey! Hey!

Oh, yes. That feels good.

What happened?

Who's Albert?

Was he here?

Is he Mikey's father?

What?

You lied to me about the artificial insemination crap.

He was married. I couldn't tell anyone.

Do you love him?

Do you?

- What? - Do you love him?

I don't know.

I don't know who I love.

And it doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is who's best for Mikey.

And Albert is successful, responsible,

and he's good to his other kids.

I don't want him seeing Mikey.

Oh, no! Don't start pulling this on me!

He's his son. He has a right to see him anytime he wants.

Where has he been all year?

This has nothing to do with you. You are not his father.

I'm the closest thing he's got.

Oh, please. Look at you. You're like a big kid.

You think you're responsible enough to be a father?

Responsible?

You call getting pregnant by a married guy responsible? That's good.

- Stop it! - You stop.

- You stop it! - You use Mikey to push guys away,

and now you're doing it to me. That's it! I've had it. Get out!

- I live here! - I know it!

- Ma, can a person past a certain age change? Rosie: Sure. Look at daddy.

His high-density lipids went from 230 to 185.

I'm not talking about cholesterol.

Can someone go through a bad phase and then be nicer?

That I don't know about.

When you met daddy at that vets' dance, how'd you know he'd be a good father?

I didn't. I liked the way he looked in his uniform.

Didn't they all look good?

No, I didn't like the sailors in their bell-bottoms.

You married a man because he looked cute in a uniform?

You had no idea if he was a mature, responsible person.

If I thought like that, we wouldn't have survived the first week.

And that was some week, huh?

Ugh. You're grossing me out. Don't talk about sex and daddy.

Hola, Lupe. Hola.

Gerber face, high-five.

Yeah

look, Mikey...

I can't come around to see you anymore.

- What's the matter? - It's your mom.

She has this crazy idea that I wouldn't make a good enough father for you.

Whatever that is.

She wouldn't have picked my father either.

I think he did an okay♪ob, but...

Want to hear some fatherly advice?

Hi, Lupe. Hola.

Oh, okay, I'll write you a check.

When I was 3, right,

he said, "don't hit girls, even if they're asking for it."

What'd he say about pushing them?

Later on, he said, "finish your meat. You know how much that cost?"

And, uh, let's see... oh, yeah.

Yeah. The one that sticks out the most though was probably:

"If your friends♪ump off the Brooklyn bridge, does that mean you got to?"

I still use that one. To this day, I still use that piece of advice.

Yeah

doesn't amount to much, does it?

I think being a good father

is keeping the mother happy so she doesn't drive the kids crazy.

She called me a big kid. She's probably right.

You're 1 year old and probably my best friend in the world.

Anyway...

I'll miss you.

Don't be sad. Here, take this.

No, I want you to have it.

Okay. Thanks.

Don't worry, it'll take good care of you.

We're gonna see daddy.

Oh, great. I was just thinking about James.

You have to look fantastic. The blue or the lamb?

Neither. They both look pretty lame.

The lamb?

Not lamb, lame!

Please don't make me wear clothes with animals on them.

I don't like this. It makes me look stupid.

You look great.

Yeah. Well, I feel like a retard.

Hey, look at this room! Look at these guys!

I bet I can take those apart. It doesn't look...

Little metal things. Where can I stick them? Oh.

Right there in those little holes.

Mollie. “Who's that?

- Hi. This must be Mikey. - Hey.

Hiya, fella! What you doing, huh?

What you doing?

Aren't you...?

How about a little milk in your eye? Damn it!

Bull's-eye! Whee!

It's just milk. It won't stain.

Give me the bottle, Mikey. That's a good boy.

Come here.

He's beautiful, Mollie. He looks just like you.

People say that. I don't see it.

I know the circumstances you had him under were terrible.

But when I see him, I know it wasn't a mistake.

I bet he's glad to hear that.

You'll never escape me, Skeletor. Come back here with my grape. Oh!

Don't do that!

What'd I do?

Mollie.

People find themselves in situations they can't always get out of.

What are you saying? Mikey, don't touch.

Well, all right.

I'm saying, I still love you and I still want you.

And Mikey?

You can always count on me if there's anything you need for him.

I need a father for him.

I gotta be honest.

I'm living alone for the first time in 17 years. I'm in therapy.

I can't be anybody's father now.

I need to be by myself now. I've raised my kids.

Raised them? They're 11 and 9.

Have they moved out and gotten jobs?

Ungh. Too much fruit.

Well, it wouldn't be fair to Mikey.

Is he taking a dump?

No, he's thinking real hard.

Come on.

Let's get you cleaned up.

Why don't you use the washroom in back, Mollie”?

What will I tell him when he asks about his daddy?

No! Not him! I want James to be the daddy.

Don't do that here. That's a $10,000 desk.

Now it's junk!

Goddamn it, I'm trying to be honest. I thought you'd understand.

Of course I do. I am a very understanding person.

I understand you are going through a selfish phase.

And I know you'll understand that I am going through a destructive phase.

Let's trash the place. Take that, Tonto.

I'm sorry I made you wear that stupid outfit.

And I'm sorry you had to meet that mean man. You'll never have to see him again.

Every time I take you some place, everybody says how cute you are.

Naturally.

The one person who has a genetic bond treats you like a jerk.

Let me try it now. Everybody loves you.

The kids at the playground. Ma loves you, Rona loves you,

everybody at work loves you, James loves you.

Mikey, do you love James?

Give him a call.

What, honey? You want to play telephone?

Call him.

Hello?

It's for you.

You take this one, I'll take the other one. Be right back.

Hello.

This is Lou Franklin. I got a problem with your grandfather.

He's become abusive and violent. You'll have to pick him up.

I'll have to call health and welfare.

- No, don't. I'll be right there. Bye-bye. - See you soon.

- Grandpa, what's going on? - Look, I'm a hostage.

He's not a hostage, he's a mean old bastard.

Look at my arm. He gave the nurse a black eye.

- Don't talk that way. - They're hiding Dora.

They're not hiding anyone.

Then where is she? Where's my wife?

Sit down. I'll find her for you.

Oh... let's clean that off your face.

You want to look good when you see her, don't you?

You're my favorite daughter-in-law.

You're smart and you're a good person.

That's why Jimmy loves you so much.

There you go.

Come on, ma. Let's go find James.

You want to see pictures? I'll show you pictures.

Grandpa?

Did you eat all these candy bars today?

What candy? The bastards stole my candy!

We'll get you some more.

- Where's the director? - Down the hall

Mikey, come with mama.

Later. We're busy.

I'll watch him. You sure?

Sure. “I'll be back in a minute.

He gets disoriented, but this isn't his usual behavior.

That's why my husband made arrangements with your orderly.

It isn't the orderly's responsibility to control his diet.

If that's the care he requires, you need a private nurse.

That isn't the kind of care he requires.

My husband told the orderly

to give him one candy bar a day, and the orderly agreed.

He said, "no problem."

Then that was bill. Bill always says "no problem.”

- What do you mean? - That's all he can say. He can't speak English.

So can grandpa stay?

Of course he can.

Thank you.

- Thanks for coming down so fast. - No problem.

Hi. Hi.

Um, I arranged it so your grandfather can stay.

I know, I heard. You didn't have to do that.

I wanted to do it.

Let me give you a ride home.

- Don't bother. Fine. - Fine.

Dj, time for lunch! Let's go.

Are you okay with him?

Get the hell out of here! I'm busy.

And this is Steven.

This is Paulie. They're your own little cousins.

Hi, Vince.

Hello, ester!

Ester!

I'd like you to meet my grandson.

There goes James. James, wait a minute!

Where's he going? Maybe he's going downstairs. I'll go and meet him.

I went to the beauty parlor.

- Where's that elevator? - They cost so much money.

Here we go. Going down.

I'll just press all of these.

Hey, perfect. I'll just hitch a ride with the fruit cups.

Here we go.

Take her away, boys!

Mikey!

- Grandpa, where's Mikey? - He was just here.

What do you mean? How long ago did he leave?

Oh. Mikey?

- I'll check the hallway. - I'll call the police.

Which one of you dames wants to help me find my dad?

That's Ida's grandson.

I'm in a hurry. I just saw the yellow box go by.

Here, fella. Go back to your grandma.

Thanks for nothing, babe.

Show the police these pictures.

- I'll check the cafeteria. - I'll check the hall again.

I'm on the case now.

Ah, now that is exactly what I need.

I'll be able to find him in one of those.

Uh, let's see if I remember this.

I better set this thing down. Right here. That's a good spot.

Get that door open.

What was it James said?

Let's see. I just stick this thing right in here.

Ah, there it goes!

Move the circle around, and we're off!

Mikey!

Mikey!

Oh.

- Mikey! - He's in the back of that car!

Let's get the cab.

- Hey! - Stop!

I got this driving thing knocked. No problem.

Move it!

There he is. Hey, James!

Look at me. I'm driving! How about this?

James? James.

Where's he going?

We'll lose them! “I'll cut them off

if you get off, you'll lose them! “We won't lose them!

I know this alley like the back of my hand.

Mikey! Mikey! He's gone!

Mikey!

- Mister, you had a little boy in that car! He's my son! Man: What are you talking about?

I saw him in your car!

He's about this big. He's only a year old!

Hmm. This is a good place to spot them.

- Mikey! - Mikey, stop!

Hey, James, is that you?

Mikey, don't move!

Hey, James! Mommy!

Here I come!

- Mikey! - I'm coming, I'm coming.

- Mikey! - Oh. Did you see what just happened?

Give me my baby!

Ma, did you see that?

Are you all right, honey?

Are you all right? Let me see you.

God. I can't believe it. He doesn't have a scratch on him.

I'm glad I finally got you both together.

- I'll take him to the hospital anyway. - He's a tough kid.

Ma, I want James to be the daddy.

- Thanks for your help. - I'll take you home.

Dada.

- He said, "Dada." - He called you Dada.

No, I'm talking to hear myself speak.

- He thinks you're his dad. - I spent time with him.

You've spent a lot of time with him.

He probably thinks we'll end up together.

I hope they don't get stuck together like that. Heh-heh.

Should I tell them I need a new diaper?

Nah, I'll Walt.

♪ When people keep repeating ♪

♪ That you'll never fall in love ♪

♪ When everybody keeps retreating ♪

♪ But you can't seem to get enough ♪

♪ Let my love open the door ♪

♪ Let my love open the door ♪

♪ Let my love open the door to your heart ♪

♪ Let my love open the door ♪

♪ Let my love open the door ♪

♪ When everything feels all over ♪

♪ Everybody seems unkind ♪

♪ I'll give you a four-leaf clover ♪

♪ Take all worry out of your mind ♪

♪ Let my love open the door ♪

Hi! Hi. How are you?

Hi, honey.

Mikey, this is your sister, Julie.

Say hi.

Hi, Julie.

Don't start with me. I've had a day you wouldn't believe.

Can we talk?

♪ Let my love open the door ♪

♪ When people keep repeating ♪

♪ That you'll never fall in love ♪

♪ When everybody keeps retreating ♪

♪ But you can't seem to get enough ♪

♪ Let my love open the door ♪

♪ Let my love open the door ♪

♪ Let my love open the door to your heart ♪

♪ Let my love open the door ♪

♪ Let my love open the door ♪

♪ Let my love open the door ♪

♪ Let my love open the door ♪

♪ When everything feels all over ♪

♪ Everybody seems unkind ♪

♪ I'll give you a four-leaf clover ♪

♪ Take all worry out of your mind ♪

♪ Let my love open the door ♪

♪ Let my love open the door ♪

♪ Let my love open the door ♪

♪ To your heart let my love open the door ♪

♪ To your heart let my love open the door ♪

♪ Let my love open the door ♪

♪ Let my love open the door ♪

♪ I have the only key to your heart ♪

♪ I can stop you falling apart ♪

♪ Try today, you'll find this way ♪

♪ Come on and give me a chance to say ♪

♪ Let my love open the door it's all I'm living for ♪

♪ Release yourself from misery ♪

♪ There's only one thing gonna set you free ♪

♪ That's my love ♪

♪ That's my love ♪

♪ Let my love open the door ♪

♪ Let my love open the door ♪

♪ Let my love open the door ♪

♪ Let my love open the door ♪

♪ When tragedy befalls you ♪

♪ Don't let it drag you down ♪

♪ Love can cure your problems ♪

♪ You're so lucky I'm around ♪

♪ Let my love open the door ♪

♪ Let my love open the door ♪

♪ Let my love open the door to your heart ♪

Please rate this subtitle at www.osdb.link/74sdy Help other users to choose the best subtitles