All language subtitles for Escape.To.The.Chateau.S01E01.Finding.The.Chateau.1080p.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-squalor

I'm Dick Strawbridge,

and along with my wife Angel
and our two children,

we left the UK
for a whole new life in France

and bought
this magnificent Chateau.

Angel: Ohh! Aah!

Dick, voice-over: We've
gradually been making it

into our home, as well
as running it as a business...

That's a long way up.

Dick, voice-over: but it
turns out we're not alone

as dozens of Brits are doing
exactly the same thing.

Boy: Ha ha!

Sometimes, you have to pinch
yourself to think, "I own that."

Dick, voice-over:
In this series, Angel and I

will reveal more
about our journey

as chateau owners...

Find a lot of scrap here.
It's worth money.

Might be able to pay you
this time.

Dick, voice-over: and guide
these daring brits

where we can...

It's a solid, old bridge, matey.

Dick, voice-over:
as they renovate...

This is looking good.
I'm quite happy with this.

Dick, voice-over: repair...

I've never done this before,

so it should be all right.

Dick, voice-over: and struggle
to transform these buildings

into their homes and businesses.

Go, go, go, go, go!

Absolutely magnificent.

This is the glamorous
chateau life

that everyone thinks I lead.

Just trying to avoid getting
my face

nearer the toilet seat.

This is not the way
to make money.

Dick, voice-over: But however
hard the going gets,

these plucky brits
can always say

they're kings and queens
of their very own castles.

Cheers! Chin-chin.

Dick, voice-over: Today...
Woman: Hi, guys!

Dick, voice-over: Two rookie
chateau managers struggle

with their sales pitch...

It's a lot worse
than it looks.

I'm gonna turn that
into a bar. OK.

Dick, voice-over:
and each other.

Woman: I don't think it's
gonna bother anyone.

It'll bother me.

Dick, voice-over: A couple makes
some unexpected discoveries

at their chateau
in the Loire Valley.

Man: Wow! Oh, my goodness.

Dick, voice-over:
Some surprising...

Motherlode!

Dick, voice-over:
others rather worrying.

Man: Alex has found some
dangerous chemicals in there.

Dick, voice-over: And as one
couple start the search

for their fairytale chateau...

Woman: Oh, stunning.

"Beauty and the Beast."

Man: This room, it just makes
me want to twirl.

- Ha ha ha!
- Ha ha ha.

Dick, voice-over: Angel and I
give them

some invaluable advice.

Are you serious?
You're buying a chateau?

Can't walk up it,
but the chickens

will roost on it.

Dick, voice-over:
I'm Dick Strawbridge,

engineer and former
lieutenant colonel

in the British Army.

With my Angela, we've been
renovating our chateau

into a home and business.

This is my calling in life.

Dick, voice-over:
It's not been easy...

I think I'm a bit
too old for this.

Dick, voice-over: but what
people don't realize

is the hard work starts
before you even get the keys.

What do you think, Abernathy?

Gonna go find a chateau?

Dick: Meet chateau shoppers
Johnny

and his American-born
partner Ashley.

He's an artist,
she's a television producer,

and they want to buy
their very own castle.

Johnny: The dream
for both of us it to find

a chateau, something that's
got obviously history.

A lot of them are
in a ruined state.

We're talking no roofs,
walls are falling down,

and the beautiful thing
in France

there are so many properties
like that out there.

Ashley: Yeah. We're just
so excited about it,

and then to just bring it
back to life.

I think that's
the most exciting part.

Dick: After meeting a year ago,
they set up home

near Montpellier
in the South of France

in a small townhouse
in the medieval town of Pézenas.

Ashley: Just to live
amongst history

is such a dream.

In America, you don't
get buildings that old ever.

It's just so exciting.

Dick: Artist Johnny has
his own gallery

and workshop here.

Johnny: It's actually
a famous town for artisans.

That's one of the reasons
that we picked to live here.

Dick: He's got hundreds
of pieces of artwork

taking up space in his gallery
and their small home,

plus they share
an addiction.

Ashley: Our passion
is antiquing.

Johnny: We're kind of
like magpies,

so this, for instance, is
just probably 1%

of a glimmer
of our personality, right?

Things that we've collected
all the way round France.

Dick: So they're taking
the plunge and buying

something big, very big.

So we've done the math,
and I think we come out

with E=mc chateau.

Ha ha ha! Right?

Dick: They're also hoping
their chateau

will provide them
with a whole new business.

Ashley: We want to be able
to have a gallery

and a big workshop
but also in the future

a cafe, so the more space,
the better.

Johnny: Yeah.

Dick: But before they start
the search

for their dream home,
they've asked

me and Angel for some advice.

but Johnny's driven
from the South of France

to meet us at our place.

Johnny: Oh, my God.

What a first impression, eh?

Oh, this is awesome.

Actually, I really wish
that we had found this one

before Dick and Angel.

Ha ha ha!

They have got a beauty here.
They really have.

Dick: Hiya, Johnny.
How you doing, fella?

- Hi, Dick.
- How was the journey?

- Oh, it was long.
- Ha ha ha!

- Lovely to meet you.
- Good to see you, mate.

Johnny: I'm lost for words.
Honestly, I really am.

Dick: We actually searched
long and hard.

- Yeah?
- You know, did--

it's not a matter of just
sort of turning up,

finding your chateau,
and moving in.

- Yeah.
- Do you know how big

you're looking for?

Um, well, the bigger
the better.

I mean, who doesn't want
a big French chateau, OK?

- This is small.
- Ha ha.

This is classed
as small chateau.

Let's go see Angela.
Let's go meet Angela.

Johnny: Yeah. Should we do that?

Thank you.

Dick: Hey, gorgeous!
Johnny: Oh, wow.

Angel: Johnny, how are you?
Johnny: Morning, darling.

- Nice to meet you.
- Mm-wha. Mm-wha.

Dick, voice-over: If we're gonna
give Johnny

a few pointers on buying
a chateau,

we need to know a bit more
about what he and Ashley

are after.

Angel: Cheers.
Johnny: Thank you

so much for having me, guys.

Dick: No problem, mate.

So are you serious?
You're buying a chateau?

You're that stupid?
Have you thought about this?

For us, a chateau,
it's the beauty

of the old stone,
the architecture.

It's the history that goes
into it,

you know worn floors
that servants

have walked over for generations
and generations,

serving their masters,
all the family above,

and just being part of that
and feeling it, you know?

He is that stupid.

[Laughter]

Angel: How long you been
together now?

Um, just over a year actually.

I think that the commitment
is absolutely huge.

- Hmm.
- If you've got the same values,

you'll get through it,

and we work out--
sort stuff, don't we,

building what we've got
for the children

and what have you,

and when you've got
that dream,

you put the hard work in.

Johnny: Yeah. We want
to do--start off small

with, like, a little
bed and breakfast,

build up to a bit more--

- Boutiquey?
- Hotel, boutique-style hotel,

but the big draw card
really is looking

for a chateau that's got
out buildings

so that I can have
my big workshop,

so I can have my art gallery.

I think the best thing
we can do is

have a look at some things
and just sort of

give you a bit of guidance
as to what to look out for,

what to be scared of...

- Sure.
- Because, um, you know...

Dick, voice-over: I'll try
not to scare him,

but I don't think Johnny
has a clue

how much he's bitten off
when it comes

to choosing a chateau.

Just 25 miles north of ours
is another chateau,

the 17th century
Chateau du Bailleul.

It has 30 rooms and sits
in 6 acres of land.

It lies in the Pays de la Loire
region of France

and is rented by estate agents

Philip
and Angelina Baillie-Smith.

Philip: Home, sweet, home.

Dick: Bored
of the London rat race,

they moved to France,
where they got married.

Now they're renting
the chateau to see

if they want to make the move
and buy their own castle.

Philip: I thought,
"Let's rent first."

We'd get to genuinely experience
the life

that we were planning on
buying into.

Angelina: Try before you buy.

- Yeah. Something like that.
- There you go.

Philip: It costs us
about 40,000 Euros a year

to be here by the time you put
in your heating costs,

all the rest of it.

Dick: They can only afford
to live here

by continuing their
estate agent business in London,

but to help make ends meet
and deciding

they want to buy
their own chateau,

they are now going to hire out
the chateau for events.

We've been in the UK
for 3 weeks.

Best turn the water back on.

Oh. Watch yourself.

Dick: Today, they're meeting
a local English couple,

who have agreed to have
their anniversary party here.

Philip: This is where
the stop cock is.

Ugh.

It's under a lot of foam
to keep it from freezing.

I'm glad you're doing it,
not me.

Philip: Water's on.

Dick: This will be Phil
and Angelina's first booking.

Philip, voice-over: We can
afford to stay in a place

like this,
but it's absolutely pointless

unless you're gonna
run a business out of it.

This event coming up this summer
is our dry run.

We really need to make sure
it goes off without a hitch.

Dick: The couple coming today
want to discuss

the finer details
of their big party.

Angelina: It's always
quite stressful

when I've got these guests
coming up,

and I've probably got
under an hour

to tidy up lots of rooms,
get ready,

get the dog out of the way,
as well.

Lightning, come.
That's it. Good boy.

Dick: But having clean rooms
and a clean dog

are the least of their worries.

The guest toilets have
a serious damp problem.

Angelina: Oh, wow.
That's--that's quite minging.

Whatever damp-proof membrane
was on this wall

was holding the water.

Angelina: You might not want
to touch that.

Dick: And the outdoors
entertainment needs

a bit of work.

- I'll turn that into a bar.
- Bar, yeah. I agree.

Philip: But this is my plan.

Put a tilt in this
so there's a run,

and we put a roof on it.

How about a Perspex roof?

Perspex looks like
it's cheap and quick.

- If you've got white canvas...
- Yeah.

it's got the weddingy
sort of shabby chic...

- It's vintage, yeah.
- feel to it.

- Yeah.
- Here.

I don't think it's
gonna bother anyone.

It'd bother me.

Dick: With their party clients
due to arrive at any moment,

Phil and Angelina have to
focus less on the shabby

and more on the chic.

Philip: To make their day
as special

as we found our wedding here,
maybe with a little bit of luck,

they can see through the mess
and we're all good.

[Horn honks]

Angelina: They're here.

Hi, guys!

Dick: Retired pilot Chris
and his wife Roseanne

have lived in this part
of France for 12 years

and have agreed to celebrate
their golden wedding anniversary

in Phil and Angelina's chateau.

They're joined by their son
Christian,

who will be the DJ
on the big day.

So nice to see you.

Roseanne: Chris has been
away most

of our married life, flying,

and we haven't been able
to celebrate many anniversaries,

so this is gonna be
really special for us.

50 years. It's a lifetime,
isn't it, I suppose.

Doesn't sound very good,
does it?

Chris: Ha ha ha!

Shall we go in?

Dick: A lot depends
on how the next few hours go.

It's not just the booking
that could be in question

but the couple's plans
for a future

in their very own chateau.

Philip: We don't get it
right for these guys

and this day,
we'll probably think

about maybe this isn't for us.

Just really hope
that's not the case.

This is the magnificent
Chateau de Jalesnes.

It's the home of British couple
Michael and Jonathan.

Located in the Loire Valley,
they bought this place in 2014

for just over £750,000.

Jonathan: It was the same price
as our flat in London.

That's how ridiculous it was.

We thought it was too good
an opportunity to miss.

Dick: Back then, the place
looked very different.

Jonathan: The first sight of it
in the flesh

rather than the estate agent's
details, was...wow.

I think it was even more wow
because it was so neglected.

There was--had trees growing
out of the mote.

Where we're sitting
at the moment,

like, it was up here somewhere.

I mean, you could get lost
in it.

- There's goats.
- Ha ha!

Jonathan: There was thorns
and thistles and ivy

and trees and ponies
and donkeys and goats.

The challenge was superhuman,
and that's what

appealed to the two of us.

Dick: With the help
of investors,

they've converted
into 15 holiday apartments

and a location for weddings,

but they're struggling
to make a profit,

so this year is make or break.

Michael: Jon and I don't earn
anything out of this

until it starts making money.

We're now two years
down the line,

and it's still not
making a profit,

so we've got a year
on a very, very frugal budget

to go,
and then we've got to make

the decision can we
still sustain

the two of us being here?

Dick: They're doing
everything they can

to keep costs down.

One way of doing that
is to use volunteers.

Michael, voice-over: Have
a system of volunteers

that come from all
over the world

to give us a hand,

so these guys come along,
give us their skills

that we haven't got
the aptitude to do,

and then we can feed
and lodge them.

Barter works wonders.

Dick: Today, the volunteers
are going to help

Michael and Jonathan search
some unexplored caves

in the chateau's dry moat.

They're hoping they might
uncover some surprises

that could make or save them
some much-needed cash.

Michael: All the stone
around the moat, et cetera,

was dug out to build
this chateau,

so this stone
for this building

has come from these moats
and these caves.

Jonathan: And we still haven't
been in all the caves.

There are still some
that are unexplored.

We just haven't had the time
because we've been

so busy with this.

Dick: Who knows what secrets
lie hidden

in some of these caves?

Man: This entrance could
have been blocked up

for several decades,
perhaps even centuries,

and eventually,
we hope to see

what mysteries lie behind it.

There's a lot of local rumors
about a tunnel system

and treasure.

Dick: The caves they're
exploring today

lie just off the entrance tunnel
to Chateau de Jalesnes'

dry moat.

Jonathan: If there's
anything dangerous,

just shout out.

Don't try to deal with it.

If you find any treasure,
it's mine.

Michael: Mine.

Jonathan: Otherwise,
let's have some fun.

Does that open up?

Come on then.
That's a good start.

OK. Come on in.

So building materials need
to go into the cave next door.

Anything that you think
can be recycled

we'll put in one pile.

Superb. Let's get stuck in.

That's rubbish, Michael.

Hey. What is...

Wow! Oh, my goodness.

Michael!

Dick: They've only been
working 5 minutes

when the cave throws up
a surprise.

Jonathan: Michael.
Where's that from then?

Michael: When you see
things like this,

it's often to do
with the Revolution.

The heads have been chopped off,

and the hands
have been chopped off.

Dick: In 1794 when the peasants
came through this part

of the country,
they vandalized

any images of nobility.

These statues were made
before then.

Jonathan believes
way before then.

Jonathan: We know there was
a medieval manor house

on the same site
of the chateau today,

and we know that the chateau's
been built piece by piece.

The earliest bit
that we've got at the moment

dates from 1513,
but this is pre that even,

which we just need to keep now.

We need to show it,
display it, get it up

so that everybody who comes
to the chateau can see it.

I mean, it's fantastic
to find something like that.

Really good.

Dick: But just as things
are looking up...

Jonathan: Alex has found some
dangerous chemicals in there.

Michael: How do you know
they're dangerous?

Jonathan: Because it's got
"dangerous" written

on the bloody barrel.

Dick: Back to our place
in northwest France.

Aspiring chateau buyer Johnny
has come for some advice.

It might be a dream
to own a fairytale castle

with turrets and towers,

but buy the wrong place,
and it can turn

into a nightmare,

so we've got some simple tips.

Angel: There are a lot
of stairs.

Dick: Hold up. We've come up
3 flights.

Have a look
at this next bit.

Johnny: Oh, wow.

Dick: And there's another
floor above this.

Angel: You're young,
and it doesn't matter,

but if you are thinking
of having this

as a business,
you do have to keep

that sort of thing in mind.

Dick: Keep walking upstairs.

You've had too much
of a breather.

I like to see people
doing it in a oner.

Dick, voice-over:
Tip number one,

don't worry about the ceiling.

It's the roof that matters.

Dick: You see the little
stainless steel clips

on the tiles?

- That's new roof.
- Right. Yeah.

Dick: That is a new roof,
so when you're looking around,

that has had a problem.

It is now fixed,
and that says

it's been maintained.

Johnny: OK.

Dick, voice-over: Tip two,
think about the heating.

So this is a thermal store,
where we store

all of our hot water,

and if you can actually have
an efficient system

of heating,
it's in your best interest.

Anything that helps you get
cheaper energy.

You know, take somebody's
arm off about here

because the bills are big.

Johnny: Yeah.

Dick, voice-over: Tip 3,

never underestimate
the plumbing.

This little bad boy here,
the old poop tube.

Johnny: Poop tube.

Dick: If you are
in the bathroom

in the botanical suite
on that side,

yeah, your poo has to go
over to our septic tank

- over on this side...
- OK.

and, Angela, you didn't
want any external pipes.

Angel: I didn't.
Johnny: No.

Angel: Sorry.
Dick: So consequently,

we had to find a route
through the house

for the pipes,
and it has to drop

25 mils per meter
or an inch per yard basically,

so you got a progression
of a slope down

so the poop keeps moving.

You have to think
about really boring things

like gravity.

For us, the plumbing
and electric

with all the piping,
with the thermal store,

with the radiators,

that'd be no change and 25 K.

Angel: Hmm.
Dick: Yeah.

I mean, thus far
all we have done

is talked about where we--
you know, cosmetic stuff

because that's what you do.

You get excited,
you think about how

it's gonna be projected,

you think of palettes
and what linen you want,

but I must say,
hearing this, you know,

it's quite scary because
you do have to think, don't you?

Dick, voice-over: I think
the penny's finally

beginning to drop.

Next, keep an eye out
for creepy crawlies.

Dick: See this?
This is woodworm,

and there's rot, and there's
various things in there,

but, you know, things like
this has all been treated now.

None of this bothers me.

Further south where you are,
there's a line,

and down below that line,
there's the things

that sort of eat lots, yeah?

- Termites?
- You better believe it.

Your area, termites
are phenomenal.

Dick, voice-over: Woodworm is
relatively easy to treat,

but if Johnny does choose
a place down south,

he'll need to check
for termites

because they can be costly.

Dick: So let's go down
another floor.

Dick, voice-over: I just hope
we haven't turned him

off the idea of chateau life
completely.

Dick: There's lots of things
that sound like

there's problems,
but in the end of the day,

you get to live somewhere
that is

actually quite special.

Dick, voice-over: And I've got
something to show, Johnny,

that will fire up
his imagination.

25 miles north,
Philip and Angelina

are showing Chris and Roseanne
around their chateau.

Nice to see you.

Dick: They've already
agreed to have

their 50th
wedding anniversary here.

Today, they're finalizing
the details,

but with more than 30
other chateaus

already up and running
as event locations

within 100 miles of here,

Philip and Angelina don't
want to cause them

to reconsider.

Angelina: Here's an idea, right?

It's not often you get
to a 50-year anniversary.

Are you interested
to renew your vows?

You know, there's a chapel,
you know, at the back.

Philip: Yeah. After 50 years
of marriage,

you're allowed to say no.

[Laughter]

No. That would be good.
Something I hadn't

thought about.

- Had you?
- Would I marry you again?

Yeah, of course I would.

Thought he had
his fingers crossed.

[Laughter]

Philip: How about
as the starting point,

you know, should we just
have a look,

and we'll go from there?

- Yes.
- Yeah?

Dick: First up is
the entrance hall,

which was used as a dining room

for Philip and Angelina's
wedding.

Philip: This room
will be lovely.

Dick: But for this
anniversary party,

Philip thinks it would be
bettered used

as a thoroughfare
into the garden.

Philip: If we move one
of these tables back

against the radiator there,
they've got the champagne.

They grab it themselves,
and we're into the back garden

before the party starts.

Assume you a toast.

But do we actually want a toast?

Roseanne: I think so
Philip: Yeah.

You know, you're marking a day
that's special.

You'll be doing it
in a great setting.

Chris: The toilets are
behind there?

Philip: Yeah.
Chris: How many we got?

Philip: We've got two.
However--heh--

here we go.

- After you.
- It's loo time.

Philip: Yeah. Toilets.

Angelina: Don't be shy. Ha.

Roseanne: These are
the two toilets?

Philip: Yeah.
They'll be unisex.

They're downstairs.
They're easy to get to.

It needs a little bit
of work until it's used.

It'll be fine.

Um, it's a lot worse
than it looks,

so I don't want to scare you.

Roseanne: Pretty disgusting
actually. Ha ha ha!

Is that, um, a family loo?
You've got two in there.

Philip: You can both go
at the same time.

Chris: Yeah.
Roseanne: I'm sorry, Phil.

I couldn't invite anybody
into those loos.

Philip: As I couldn't even
use them myself.

I'm gonna get rid of whatever's
causing the issue,

redo the wall up there.

It'll probably just be
plain white.

Roseanne: So you can assure me
they're both going to be

flushing loos and it's
going to look a lot prettier?

- Yeah.
- I look forward to seeing

them afterwards.

It'll be interesting.

It's what we do outside
that counts.

Dick: Ooh. I'd get them out
onto the terrace

pretty quick, Phil.

Philip: There'll be some
seating here.

We'll spread it around,

and I'm gonna turn that
into a bar.

Chris: OK.

Philip: Yeah. You've got to have
a bit of imagination.

Picture this stuff is not
gonna be here.

Angelina: Yeah.
Philip: OK.

Angelina: We'll have
wine fridge, ice machine.

Philip: You're gonna do
the DJing at the party.

Would you put your stuff
in here

and we have actually
the majority

of the party here?

Christian: The lighting
and the speakers,

it needs to be
under cover really,

so ideally, it would need
to be in the marquee.

OK. OK.

Chris: If it's in the marquee,
that'd be brilliant.

Philip: OK.
Roseanne: Can I assume

all that's going to be
cleared up out there?

Philip: You mean you don't like
fallen trees

as part of the backdrop?

No. A little bit of faith
is all I ask

with a little luck
and a lot of work.

- Just out of curiosity...
- Yeah?

have we discussed food?

- Uh...
- When we did Anne's 60th,

we did a barbecue
in the garden.

Philip: Yeah. There's all
sorts of different options.

- Barbecue.
- Yeah.

It depends on what you think.

Chris: Barbecue.

Like, it's barbecue
and a buffet style,

if it's hot...

Just let us know,
and then we can have

a look at what we can do.

Right. Shall we go and have
a look in the back garden

and see how we'll lay it out?

Dick: In the Loire Valley sits
the magnificent

Chateau de Jalesnes.

Owned by couple Michael
and Jonathan,

they and a band of volunteers
have been clearing out

one of the unexplored caves
that come

off the chateau's dry moat.

They found some
medieval statues...

Jonathan: It's fantastic to
find something like that.

Dick: but a minute later,
one of the volunteers

finds something
a bit more sinister.

Jonathan: Alex has found some
dangerous chemicals in there.

Michael: How do you know
they're dangerous?

Jonathan: Because it's got
"dangerous" written

on the barrel.

Dick: Michael finds a clue
to what the barrels may contain.

Michael: Someone's written
on the wall

"62 doses, pour 30 liters
of petrol."

So they're mixing petrol
with something,

so that could explain why
we've got

all these toxic fluids
back here.

What would you mix with petrol?

No idea. Ha ha ha!

Dick: Some of the barrels
contain vegetable oil

leftover from the chateau's
hospital days.

Could it be that they were
mixing it with petrol

to try and increase
their stock of fuel?

Back then, engines could
tolerate less pure forms

of fuel than today.

I certainly wouldn't use
that instead of unleaded.

Jonathan: These chemicals
that you have found

in these barrels,
we can't really handle them

because if it's got "dangerous
and toxic" on it

you have to get
a special contractor to come in,

fill in lots of paperwork,
and they have to dispose of it.

If we leave that,
is there anything else

in there, Alex, or just those?

Alex: And some wine
and bottles.

Jonathan: Hey! Motherlode.
We found some wine!

Hee hee hee!

Alex: All right.
Stop work.

Jonathan: We've got, what,
about 4, 5 cases of wine.

What are they,
what are they, Alex?

- 1995. Look.
- Yep. '96.

Cote de Beaune.
Cote de Beaune.

They're covered in dust.
Look at the label on that,

how moldy it is.

So this is a different one then.

This is a different shape.

This is a Bordeaux-shaped
bottle.

Chateau la Perriere.

This is 19...

[Blows]

1992. My God.

Heavens to Betsy.
Have you seen this, Michael?

No. I heard you, though.

Jonathan: Yeah. There's
a great stock of wine here.

Look at this stuff.
25-year-old Bordeaux. Ha ha!

[Indistinct] '92.

Jonathan: That's 25 years ago.

25-year-old bottle of wine.
Have a look.

Michael: Well, that's
tonight sorted.

[Laughter]

Dick: What a result.

The statues will benefit
the chateau

and make a beautiful frieze
in its entrance hall,

and the wine, if it's still
in good nick,

can be the reward
for finding the statues.

I wouldn't mind trying
some of that.

As Michael sets about finding
a place to store his booty,

Jonathan heads to the other side
of the dry moat,

where one of the volunteers
thinks he's discovered

something in another
unexplored cave.

Jonathan: So what do you think?
Have you had a look at it?

Man: Quite sure there's
water there.

Dick: At mine and Angel's place
in northwest France,

aspiring chateau owner Johnny
has been getting

a crash course in what
to look for

when you buy a chateau.

Before he leaves, there's
one last thing to show him.

Angel: I think you should
take Johnny outside

and show him some
of the out buildings.

Talk about studios.
Let's see what you get for free.

I'm thinking about it.

Dick, voice-over: I know the top
of Johnny's wish list

are some outhouses
for his gallery and workshop.

Johnny: So another story
up here, right?

Dick: Yes.
There's 3 stories.

Johnny: Ha. Oh. This is huge.
Oh, wow!

Dick: Caveat I would say
is most of them

have not been used
for a long time,

so have a good think
and have a look around.

This--all this wood
is original.

I'm probably more excited
about the out buildings

than I do the chateau. Ha ha!

Dick, voice-over: Tour over,
there's one final bit of advice.

Always think long term.

Dick: We're talking
commitment when you buy

a chateau, yeah?

A puppy's not just
for Christmas.

A chateau's not just
for that honeymoon period.

It's the long slog.
We looked for 4, 4 1/2 years...

- OK.
- before we found this place.

Come on. Let's go get some air.

It's quite hot in here,
isn't it?

- They get stuffy, right?
- Yeah.

Dick, voice-over: Johnny
and Ashley are

at the beginning of an amazing

chateau buying adventure.

How are you?

Johnny: They are awesome.

Dick, voice-over: I have to
admit I don't envy them.

Dick: Don't be scared.

We haven't ever regretted
what we've done.

It is so worth it.

We're happy, darling, aren't we?

- Yeah. Johnny, good luck.
- Aw. Thank you so much

for all your advice
and everything.

I really appreciate it.

Dick: And don't forget
you've got

the roof, the windows,
the plumbing.

Johnny: That's right.
Dick: Have a nice shop, fella.

Johnny: I'll keep you posted.
Angel: Yeah. Make sure you do.

Johnny: Thanks, guys.

Dick, voice-over: I hope we've
taught him

a thing or two today,
and I can't wait to see

what he and Ashley settle on.

At Chateau du Bailleul
in Gorron

in northern France,
Phil and Angelina

are finalizing their arrangement
for Chris and Roseanne's

50th wedding anniversary
celebrations.

Philip: We'll just cut
around here, OK?

Roseanne: OK.
Angelina: This is a really

long walk just to go
for a dance.

Dick: Phil has agreed to
erect a marquee for the party.

He wants to place it
at the back of the grounds

next to the moat to give
the best view

of the chateau
from the marquee entrance.

Chris: So the marquee
will go where, Phil?

Philip: I'm thinking
the marquee goes

lengthways here.

Dick: But Chris and Roseanne
want it closer to the chateau.

- Why not here?
- I was hoping it was

gonna be back there.

Philip: OK.
Chris: That's a wonderful,

little spot over there.

They're gonna sit over there,

and they're gonna drink
over there.

Dick: Phil is worried
there won't be enough room

for the guests
if it's too close.

It's the summer.
Most people are gonna be

in front of the marquee,
and if it's a great day--

You're allowing enough room
for them to be outside.

- Yeah.
- Well...

I was just thinking
it was convenient.

Philip: It's your day.
Why don't we have it

somewhere in the middle?

This is kind of the fake line
for the back of it.

That's your space.

- Or--
- Yeah?

Angelina: Or would you rather
it be

this the back of it
so it's closer there?

Philip: No, because you got too
little space at the front.

Angelina: This is the shortest
distance that we agree.

Roseanne: Yes. I agree with you.
That's a good idea.

Angelina: Yes. Thank you!
Good girl.

I was right.

Dick: The tour's over,
but Phil is worried.

Philip, voice-over: I think
we've done enough today,

but anyone can walk away
and change

their mind afterwards.

If I'm honest, given
the condition of the house,

I wouldn't blame them.

I just hope they can
see through the mess,

we can deal with the problems,
and we're all good.

Dick: So he's cooked up
a treat to win them over.

Philip: The French don't
really do a Sunday roast.

You can't go out and have one.

No one else in Europe
understands a Sunday roast

apart from the English,
so why not play on that,

and hopefully,
that will seal the deal.

Let's not say anything
too positive

in case I jinx it.

I'm so hungry.

Where would you like
me to sit?

- Oh, anywhere you like.
- Anywhere?

Dick: As with all
Sunday roasts,

timing is everything.

Unfortunately, Phil is cooking
in two kitchens

at either end of the chateau.

Yeah. OK. Ha!

Was that Phil?
Where's Phil?

Angelina: He's coming.
I can hear him.

With dinner?

Uh...

[Sighs]

Say to get 10,000 steps
a day.

It's not a problem
in a house like this.

So I'm running
between a kitchen

on one side
of an 8,000-square-foot house

to the other to try
to cook the meat,

the potatoes,
the rest of it

because the oven here,
the glass has fallen out

as I tried to use it
this morning,

but do you know what?

It's great experience
for how things go wrong

on an event and on a day,
isn't it,

so it doesn't really matter.

Dick: Trying to impress his
guests could backfire on Phil.

If he can't deliver
a dinner for 5 on time,

how's he going to cope
with catering for more than 50?

Chris: I know the food's
gonna be absolutely delightful,

but it's been
a long time coming.

Dick: But Phil knows how
to keep his clients on board.

- You need help?
- Just keep them entertained,

keep the flow
of conversation.

Ply them with alcohol,
keep them happy.

10-minute delay.
We'll survive.

We're all good.

Thankfully,
the wine's flowing,

so everyone
will be all right, so...

Hot stuff coming through.

Dick: Just 25 minutes late,
dinner is finally served.

OK.

Everyone's had plenty
of drinks,

so they are well--

Philip: They're ignoring
the fact it's late?

- OK. Good.
- Yes.

- Good.
- Great. Thank you.

Philip: Enjoy your food.
Sorry it's late.

Here's to life.

All: Drink to life.
Chris: Lovely.

Roseanne: The pork
is so sweet.

It's lovely.

Angelina: English roast
in a French chateau.

Very, very good.

Dick: The meal's a hit,
but did the rather amateur

chateau tour change
their neighbors' minds?

Roseanne: The only mistake
he made was having

the marquee right
at the back of the garden,

and it was a long way away
from everything,

so persuading him now
to do it closer to the chateau,

it's going to be good.

Chris: If Phil comes up
with what he says

he's going to do,

with the backdrop
that you've got here,

it's gonna be magnificent.

Dick: Jonathan, Michael,
and their volunteers

are exploring just a few of
the 30 caves at their chateau,

and after a few surprises...

Jonathan: 25-year-old Bordeaux.
Ha ha! Motherlode!

Hoo hoo hoo!

Dick: one of the volunteers
Cohen thinks

he's found another one.

Cohen: Quite sure
there's water there.

- You are?
- Yeah.

Jonathan: Really?

Dick: Jonathan's right
to be excited.

A free water source
for a chateau this size

could be worth
thousands of pounds.

See, we thought this
was a coal chute.

We thought that they
delivered the coal here,

it dropped down the bottom,
and you just pulled it out.

So can you tell if I drop
a stone how deep it is?

Cohen: Well, I can make
a guess, but...

Jonathan: Is that all right?
Do you want to plop

away then, Cohen?

Yeah.

OK.

Jonathan: It's the moment
of truth. Ahem.

[Loud splash]

Whoa! A lot of stuff
falls in, huh?

That's fantastic.
So what?

We want a bucket a rope,
find out how deep it is

and what the water looks like
that comes up.

- Yeah.
- OK?

This is the answer
to our prayers.

You cannot believe
how important this is

because the formal gardens
are just at the top.

We just have to go
to the top here,

and we can feed just one pipe
straight out there,

and we can water
the whole blooming lot.

- That's great.
- Fantastic.

I can't tell you how
made up I am.

Dick: Jonathan and Michael
currently spend

over £6,000 a year
simply watering the garden.

Jonathan: The garden has been
laid out

in the old French style

and takes a lot of water
to keep the grass all green.

The business relies on it
because brides need

bright green grass,

and their guests
want flowers,

and the vegetable patch,
the fruit trees,

and need I go on?

This is such an important find.

I cannot tell you
how excited--

ohh--how excited I am
about it.

It's just a life saver really
bills-wise.

OK. I'll feed it through.

Show us your Girl Guides--
oh, you've done it.

Oh, yes. We've created
our makeshift bucket,

and we'll see if we can
find some water

down in this well here.

- OK. Off you go.
- All right. Go ahead.

- OK.
- I'm not the well expert.

Jonathan: Do you need to put
a stone in the bottom of it

so that it actually
goes under the water, I think?

We got one?

Cohen: It's going
pretty deep.

- Is that it?
- Yeah.

OK. I think I have some water.

Jonathan: Superb.

Cohen: Yeah. There's water.

Jonathan: What color is it?

Well, that's not bad actually.
That's clear.

Considering that water's
been down there

for I don't know how long,
that's fantastic.

We got water!

Dick: This could be
a big money saver,

make no mistake.

The chateau has its own water.

You'd better tell Michael
the good news.

- Yes?
- Don't say it like that.

This could--I could now make
your day, make your minute.

- Whole week.
- Yes, exactly.

Now you know this coal chute
behind me here?

Yeah. Is there any coal
in there?

Well, it isn't a coal chute.

Well, what is it then, Batman?

Jonathan: It's a well!
Michael: Is there water in it?

Jonathan: It's a well,
and it's full of water,

and it's right next
to the back garden.

Do you reckon we can get it
up from there to the garden?

Jonathan: Yeah. You get a pump.

So how much did we spend
on water last year

just for the garden?

7,500 Euros or something
like that.

Jonathan: 7,500.
So how pleased are you?

Yeah. That's pretty good news.

I think I can sort of say then
you can take me out to dinner.

Jonathan: All right. Ha ha ha!
Michael: Great news,

and if we can get
that pump up here,

yeah, the maths would say
we'd save about 7,000.

Brilliant. Fantastic.

Dick: It's been a good day
for Michael and Jonathan,

but even if this well
can provide

enough water to cut
down their bills,

the only way to ensure
the business doesn't sink

is to secure a big
wedding booking this summer.

Jonathan: Just to break even
this year,

we would need 13 weddings.

We're currently at 5.

Dick: Brit Johnny has been
to see me and Angel

for some chateau shopping tips.

570 miles away down
in the South of France,

he and his American partner
Ashley are starting

the search for their
perfect castle

at Chateau de Jottes.

Ashley: It is a massive one
built in the 16th century.

It looks like it needs
a lot of work,

but it's exciting.

Dick: It's on the market
for a fairly steep

520,000 Euros,

but this is the South of France,

where the warm climate
and glam location

means prices are high,

even places like this
that need a fair bit of work.

Johnny: Oh, wow.
Ashley: It looks nice.

- Oh, my God!
- It's huge.

- Oh, amazing.
- Ha.

Dick: The 20-room chateau comes

with a separate
3-bedroom house,

5 holiday rentals,

and plenty of out buildings
for Johnny's workshops.

It's 170 grand
over their 350 grand budget,

but they're hoping they can
get the price down.

- Bonjour.
- Stefanie.

Thank you. It's Johnny.
It's Stefanie? Oui?

Nice to meet you.

- Bonjour. Je suis Ashley.
- Stefanie.

[Door squeaks]

Johnny: Here we go, babe.
Heh heh.

Wow, babe.

Look at how big this is.

Look at that.

Ashley: Oh, fire.
Johnny: Ah.

Stephanie: Fire.
Johnny: Wow. What a shame.

Dick: I know they're up
for a project,

but I worry this might be
a little too much,

especially with the state
of that roof.

Johnny: Babe, look up here.

- That's water, isn't it?
- Yeah.

So water, fire, et...

Stephanie: Yes.
Johnny: Ha ha ha! OK.

Ashley: Oh, stunning.
Big windows.

It's, um...

"Beauty and the Beast."

Stephanie: Yes.

Johnny: This room, it just
makes me want to twirl.

- Ha ha ha!
- Ha ha ha!

Johnny: How long, um,
has the property been

vacant, empty?

- 10.
- 10? Oui.

Torch time.
We need a miner's hat.

Johnny: Oh, a restaurant. Oui.

And then there was a fire.

Here we have some
his and hers.

This is quite nice here.

Tap doesn't work.

Toilet bowl.

Oh, look.
There's a view, though.

Johnny: Broken dolls
and empty bales.

Ashley: Little baby shoes.

Johnny: Look. Mama! Come on.
Booboo, what do you think?

Ooh. That's very creepy, right?

Ashley: That's very creepy.
Ha ha ha!

The room goes
on and on and on.

Oh, my goodness.

I mean, my gosh. Everything
would have to come out?

That was one hell
of a fire, eh?

- Yeah.
- Roaring right through. Whew.

Dick: Fire damage,
water damage.

This chateau is riddled
with structural issues.

I thought our place needed
a lot of work.

Ashley: Oh, look at this.
This could be

a nice, big workshop.

Johnny: Oh, wow!
It's deep, right?

Ashley: Yeah.

If it was 300,000,
even 350,000,

I would say, "Let's do it."

Johnny: Yeah.

- But 520,000...
- Yeah.

with all of the work,
I just--I don't know.

Johnny: Mm-hmm.
You're thinking no, right?

- I'm thinking no.
- Kind of the vibes I'm getting.

I love it, but, honey, it's
just too much work.

- Sure.
- We can't do that work

by ourselves.

I mean, it's missing floors.

Johnny: Ha ha! Yeah. OK. Yeah.

No. I think you're right.
Maybe not on this one.

I think we'll let
this one go.

Dick: I think it's
the right decision.

There's way too much
to fix here

and potentially hundreds
of thousands to spend.

Ashley: We'll find
our dream chateau.

We will. We'll keep looking.

It's not just
finding a home.

It will be the first place
that we've bought together,

laying down roots,

and just getting
something beautiful

that's a monument
really to France.

Does it faze us? Yes. Ha ha ha!

No. Absolutely. It does.

We're not naive.
We know that it's gonna be

a really arduous journey.

Dick: He's not wrong.

With thousands of chateaus
out there,

this task is going to be
far from a simple one.

In the Pays de la Loire,
Philip and Angelina

are already on their
chateau adventure.

They've just secured
their first booking,

a large anniversary party
in two months' time,

and have started
the massive task

of getting the place ready.

Philip: It's got lots
of trees here,

which obviously once
upon a time had

a living gardener to deal with.

Unfortunately, I appeared
to have filled the role

of the living gardener.

I had high hopes
for sitting on the patio,

sipping wine with a newspaper,

but I was sorely mistaken.

Dick: Inside, Angelina
has made a start

on the interiors.

She is up-cycling
secondhand furniture bought

for next to nothing.

Angelina: It cost me 1/3
of the price

than what it will cost me
to buy new.

That's the only way I can
afford to furnish each room.

I always use chalk paint
because it's what

the room needs.

It needs to be lighter,
so it does bounce

a lot more light and feels
more airy and spacious.

Not that the room isn't.

I mean, it's pretty huge--ha--
but it's quite a dark room,

so I think this exactly
what I wanted to achieve.

That French chic look.

Exactly how you expect
a chateau to be.

Phil will absolutely love it
when he sees it.

Dick: With the grounds
to clear,

an outdoor bar to build
from scratch,

and a serious damp problem
in the guest toilets,

Phil's got more on his plate
than a ham and cheese panini.

Philip: It could be me being
a little bit tired,

a little bit grumpy
from being out in the cold,

but I don't think there's
enough physical time

between now and this party.

What I'm bothered about is
how much stuff I've got to do.

- Yeah.
- And you've got your own stuff.

I can't keep on asking you,
and some of it's stuff

that you can't do anyway.

OK. If you're about to cry,
kind of prep me for that.

Oh, I might think about it.

You get to the end of the day,
and you just sort of

wonder why you did it all
because you're seeing pictures

on social media of your friends
out having a party

or--"Oh, yeah.
I remember."

Back in the day
when I had a life,

but if it's worth doing,
it's not easy, is it?

Feel confident.
It'll come together.

Someone's got to be strong.
Ha ha!

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Dick: Next time...

Go!

Dick: caravanning
Phil and Angelina style.

Angelina: Rope snapped.

Dick: Johnny and Ashley
view their next chateau...

Johnny: Oh, babe, this is
what we want, right?

Dick: but discover it's
already occupied.

Ooh. Dick would have
a field day with this.

Dick: and Angel tries
to help Michael and Jonathan

cut down their bills.

Angel: Michael had a quote
for flowers.

I nearly spat out me tea.
Ha ha ha!

Dick: but will it be enough
to save their business?

Jonathan: If we don't break
even this year,

it would be...

[Exhales]

it would be a disaster.