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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,052 --> 00:00:11,237 After we dump this in storage, 2 00:00:11,261 --> 00:00:13,615 let's hit the bar, see if we can get a cute lieutenant to argue with me. 3 00:00:13,639 --> 00:00:14,806 Why would you want that? 4 00:00:14,890 --> 00:00:17,809 I don't know. Getting some uptight hunk all wound up just gets me all... 5 00:00:17,893 --> 00:00:19,811 - Supplicate yourselves. - What the heck? 6 00:00:19,895 --> 00:00:21,915 It's one of those trans-dimensional energy creatures. 7 00:00:21,939 --> 00:00:25,025 Behold and tremble at... [grunts] 8 00:00:25,108 --> 00:00:27,748 - Quick. Grab one of those canisters. - Shouldn't we call security? 9 00:00:27,778 --> 00:00:29,780 I will destroy you! [Grunting] 10 00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:31,841 No. We can use this thing for all sorts of cool stuff. 11 00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:33,575 Grab the pod. We can figure it out later. 12 00:00:33,659 --> 00:00:36,137 He's a sentient creature. Are we allowed to stuff him in something? 13 00:00:36,161 --> 00:00:37,746 He's a bad guy. He zaps people. 14 00:00:37,829 --> 00:00:41,375 I shall make a feast of your misery! 15 00:00:41,458 --> 00:00:44,628 No, wait. Don't put me in the pod. I can Grant you wishes. 16 00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:45,879 And I'm listening. 17 00:00:45,963 --> 00:00:49,174 I can rearrange air molecules into whatever you want. 18 00:00:49,258 --> 00:00:51,885 Even one of those fancy new tricorders with the purple stripe? 19 00:00:51,969 --> 00:00:53,178 Ooh. Those are nice. 20 00:00:53,262 --> 00:00:55,305 - That would use up a lot of my... - [Grunts] 21 00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:57,558 Okay. Okay. Just... I'll try. 22 00:00:57,641 --> 00:01:00,727 [Grunting, groans] 23 00:01:00,811 --> 00:01:03,188 [Panting] There. That's... there you go. 24 00:01:03,272 --> 00:01:05,112 - Where's the power cell, dude? - What, really? 25 00:01:05,190 --> 00:01:07,794 Like I was gonna ask for something that didn't come with batteries. 26 00:01:07,818 --> 00:01:09,361 Okay! Okay. 27 00:01:09,444 --> 00:01:11,947 [Grunting] 28 00:01:12,030 --> 00:01:13,115 Thank you. 29 00:01:13,198 --> 00:01:15,325 [Both chuckle] 30 00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:18,287 I really gotta think of something cool to say when we're going to warp. 31 00:01:18,370 --> 00:01:19,830 Die, mortal! 32 00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:22,082 Something like, "it's warp time." 33 00:01:22,165 --> 00:01:24,045 What do you think of that? Is that good for you? 34 00:02:32,861 --> 00:02:34,363 [Buzzing] 35 00:02:34,446 --> 00:02:36,114 - Hmm. - [Mariner chuckles] 36 00:02:36,198 --> 00:02:37,616 What you watching? 37 00:02:37,699 --> 00:02:40,911 This video of vice admiral Gibson falling off a stage during peace negotiations. 38 00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:42,874 - You gotta check it out. - [Man on padd shouts] 39 00:02:42,913 --> 00:02:43,914 It's classic. 40 00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:47,125 Guess which command ensign just scored the best assignment on the ship. 41 00:02:47,209 --> 00:02:48,752 - Castro! - No, not Castro. 42 00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:51,046 - Too bad. She's the best. - Castro's overrated. 43 00:02:51,129 --> 00:02:53,274 Just because she served on the enterprise for one minute... 44 00:02:53,298 --> 00:02:56,927 Was it p'jok? That guy can do anything. And what a snack! 45 00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:59,554 No! It's me. I got it. I'm the guy that got it. Okay? 46 00:02:59,638 --> 00:03:02,974 I'm gonna be piloting general k'Orin down to tulgana iv. 47 00:03:03,058 --> 00:03:04,935 K'Orin. How do I know that name? 48 00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:07,646 Maybe because he's, like, one of the most decorated, 49 00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:10,107 battle-hardened klingon warriors in history? 50 00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:12,293 Or maybe it's 'cause all klingon names sound the same? 51 00:03:12,317 --> 00:03:14,403 Like, they all have an apostrophe for some reason. 52 00:03:14,486 --> 00:03:15,487 Yes! That's it. 53 00:03:15,570 --> 00:03:18,657 Well, clearly I'm being rewarded for all the hours I log into the simulator. 54 00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:22,703 Your idea of a reward is an escort run? You have the bar set way too low. 55 00:03:22,786 --> 00:03:25,497 What's punishment? Something actually fun? What is wrong with you? 56 00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:29,042 Look, all I know is I'll be flying down to a bustling, exotic planet 57 00:03:29,126 --> 00:03:30,544 while you're stuck right here. 58 00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:34,756 Uh, check yourself. It doesn't get more exotic than this. 59 00:03:36,633 --> 00:03:39,594 Nobody talk to me. I got to brush up on my formal klingon greetings. 60 00:03:39,678 --> 00:03:42,514 [Clears throat, speaking klingon] 61 00:03:42,597 --> 00:03:45,308 - Yeah. Keep it subtle. [Speaks klingon] - [Rutherford grunting] 62 00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:48,103 Well, if you see an unaligned eps conduit, don't call me. 63 00:03:48,186 --> 00:03:49,771 Mine are aligned as hell. 64 00:03:49,855 --> 00:03:52,458 Aren't there, like, a hundred of those? How long have you been in there? 65 00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:53,608 A solid week. 66 00:03:53,692 --> 00:03:55,944 Crawling through cramped ducts, prying open panels 67 00:03:56,027 --> 00:03:57,571 and adjusting red-hot power cables. 68 00:03:57,654 --> 00:03:59,740 Look, look, look. I've got blisters on my blisters. 69 00:03:59,823 --> 00:04:01,700 Oh, wow. You must be so relieved to be done. 70 00:04:01,783 --> 00:04:04,411 Oh, I'm not done. Now I get to recalibrate everything. 71 00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:06,288 That's another three, four days in the tubes! 72 00:04:06,371 --> 00:04:08,957 But I thought we were gonna watch the trivoli pulsar together. 73 00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:11,334 Oh, I did promise you I'd do that. 74 00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:12,419 Well, don't worry. 75 00:04:12,502 --> 00:04:15,398 Some people agree to do stuff when they don't actually mean they're gonna do it. 76 00:04:15,422 --> 00:04:18,717 No, no, no. I'm starfleet. I never go back on my word. 77 00:04:19,968 --> 00:04:22,554 You know, if! Quit my job in engineering and switch divisions, 78 00:04:22,637 --> 00:04:24,317 I wouldn't have to be in the tubes at all. 79 00:04:24,347 --> 00:04:25,599 Really? You can do that? 80 00:04:25,682 --> 00:04:27,392 - Sure! When's the pulsar? - 0800. 81 00:04:27,476 --> 00:04:28,727 Ah! This really means a lot. 82 00:04:28,810 --> 00:04:31,372 I don't have a lot of friends yet, and doing science on my own bums me out, 83 00:04:31,396 --> 00:04:34,191 - so, thanks, rutherford. - [Door opens, closes] 84 00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:36,693 All right. Looks like I just have to... 85 00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:38,236 Find a new career. 86 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:39,446 [Chuckles] 87 00:04:39,529 --> 00:04:40,530 [Sighs] 88 00:04:43,575 --> 00:04:45,076 Ooh. Pew, pew, pew. 89 00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:47,287 Good work, gents. Let's keep her right and tight. 90 00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:48,371 Pew, pew, pew. 91 00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:52,834 [Stammers] At ease. Carry on. Sorry. 92 00:04:54,377 --> 00:04:56,546 - What? Mariner. - Hey, boimler. You want some? 93 00:04:56,630 --> 00:04:59,192 What are you doing? Get out of here. You're getting broth in the controls. 94 00:04:59,216 --> 00:05:01,593 - I got to prep for takeoff. - I know. I'm coming with. 95 00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:04,262 You got the same mission assignment as me? How? 96 00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:07,641 Pulled some strings. I mean, you made this sound so rewarding. 97 00:05:07,724 --> 00:05:09,559 I had to see you in action. Keep reading. 98 00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:13,230 I'm your copilot? You're taking on more workjust to bug me? 99 00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:16,608 Calm down, man. We can't have you co-flying angry. I need you co-calm. 100 00:05:16,691 --> 00:05:19,444 Ooh. Nice dress uniform. You getting married after this? 101 00:05:19,528 --> 00:05:21,780 - No! I wish you would take this seriously. - I am. 102 00:05:21,863 --> 00:05:24,866 Ooh. This is the new shuttle with the blast shield. Yeah! 103 00:05:24,950 --> 00:05:27,118 -J' it's a blast shield j' -stop it. 104 00:05:27,202 --> 00:05:28,962 J” it comes down and it goes up j' -it works. 105 00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:30,195 -J' blast shield! Fl -stop it! 106 00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:35,544 [Sighs] 107 00:05:36,545 --> 00:05:39,589 Rutherford. Great work on the eps grid. [Chuckles] 108 00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:42,801 I wish I had more engineers like you. My life would be a lot simpler. 109 00:05:42,884 --> 00:05:45,178 Uh, thanks. Uh, can we talk for a second? 110 00:05:45,262 --> 00:05:46,930 Just for a second? Don't tease me. 111 00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:49,683 Come on, man. You're my number-one-with-a-bullet systems guy. 112 00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:51,434 I got time for you in spades. 113 00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:53,770 Um. [Laughs, sighs] 114 00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:57,566 I wanted to let you know that I'm gonna be exploring other opportunities on the ship. 115 00:05:57,649 --> 00:05:59,109 [All gasp] 116 00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:01,611 Are you saying what I think you're saying, ensign? 117 00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:04,197 Uh, I'd like to request a transfer out of engineering. 118 00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:07,075 Consider your request... 119 00:06:07,158 --> 00:06:08,243 Granted! 120 00:06:08,326 --> 00:06:10,287 Oh, man. This is exciting. 121 00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:12,998 I'm sure wherever you end up, they'll be lucky to have you. 122 00:06:13,081 --> 00:06:17,043 - [Chanting] Rutherford! Rutherford! - Thanks, guys. I'm gonna miss you. 123 00:06:17,127 --> 00:06:18,753 [Exhales, gulps] 124 00:06:18,837 --> 00:06:21,256 Buried alive. Marooned for eternity. 125 00:06:21,339 --> 00:06:23,842 - Ugh. Unbelievable. [Groans] - Moons of nibia... [shouts] 126 00:06:23,925 --> 00:06:26,219 Oh, sorry. I keep having this awesome dream. 127 00:06:26,303 --> 00:06:28,096 General k'Orin is gonna be here any second. 128 00:06:28,179 --> 00:06:30,390 Let me do the talking. I've been studying him all day. 129 00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:31,701 - Is he single? - Will you just... 130 00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:32,726 [Exhales heavily] 131 00:06:32,809 --> 00:06:36,104 Rein it in. We need to show him deference and respect. 132 00:06:39,983 --> 00:06:43,612 General k'Orin, it is an honor to escort you, sir. 133 00:06:43,695 --> 00:06:44,863 Allow me to say... 134 00:06:44,946 --> 00:06:46,281 - [Speaking klingon] - [Shouts] 135 00:06:46,364 --> 00:06:48,450 [Grunting] 136 00:06:48,533 --> 00:06:50,035 [Boimler] No, no, no! 137 00:06:50,619 --> 00:06:53,496 No! What are you doing? What? No! What are you doing? 138 00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:54,831 [Groans] 139 00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:56,082 [Both chuckle] 140 00:06:56,166 --> 00:06:59,794 Starfleet has made you soft, mariner. 141 00:06:59,878 --> 00:07:02,172 Not as soft as your ngech, k'Orin. 142 00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:03,632 [Both chuckle] 143 00:07:03,715 --> 00:07:05,342 Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. Hold on. 144 00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:07,719 Do you two know each other? 145 00:07:07,802 --> 00:07:10,042 We did some off-the-books gray ops stuff back in the day. 146 00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:11,806 We're the same age. Back in what day? 147 00:07:11,890 --> 00:07:15,352 Now they've got you pushing padds on a ship full of children. 148 00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:16,978 Can't beat four weeks' shore leave. 149 00:07:17,062 --> 00:07:19,147 [Clears throat] Well, general, as I was saying... 150 00:07:19,230 --> 00:07:21,983 [Grunts] Okay, all right, just holding your sword then. 151 00:07:22,067 --> 00:07:25,570 I must update you on my many sexual conquests, mariner. 152 00:07:25,654 --> 00:07:27,072 What? Both of them? 153 00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:29,115 [Both laugh] 154 00:07:29,991 --> 00:07:33,119 [Mariner, k'Orin] J” gick notch-Doe tchaj dill-fleck j” 155 00:07:33,203 --> 00:07:34,287 j' edge notch khohm... i' 156 00:07:34,371 --> 00:07:35,372 okay, you go down. 157 00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:37,123 I vol mahllohh/I j' 158 00:07:37,207 --> 00:07:38,208 there we go. 159 00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:39,918 Where did you even get flagons? 160 00:07:40,001 --> 00:07:44,214 Boy! Land in little oo'nos. I want gagh! 161 00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:47,509 Well, my orders were to deliver you to the federation outpost so you could... 162 00:07:47,592 --> 00:07:50,887 Copilot, just set us down in the klingon district. The man wants hot worms. 163 00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:53,223 Yes, sir. Coming right up. 164 00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:55,141 Do you remember jaxxa prime, 165 00:07:55,225 --> 00:07:59,187 the commander who didn't believe you about rectal insectoids? 166 00:07:59,270 --> 00:08:02,232 Ha! Yeah. I got chewed out, but his ass got chewed up! 167 00:08:02,732 --> 00:08:06,152 - [K'Orin laughs] - [Sighs] 168 00:08:06,236 --> 00:08:09,322 Federation shuttlecraft, this is tulgana I I/space-traffic control 169 00:08:09,406 --> 00:08:10,657 landing code challenge epsilon. 170 00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:12,867 Transmitting confirmation on secure channel gamma... 171 00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:14,351 - [Mariner, k'Orin laugh] - [Groans] 172 00:08:14,411 --> 00:08:17,330 Will you two please be quiet so we don't get shot out of the sky? 173 00:08:17,414 --> 00:08:19,165 [Shouts, sighs] 174 00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:21,251 Sending confirmation code now. Thank you. 175 00:08:34,139 --> 00:08:37,350 [Snoring, mumbles] 176 00:08:39,144 --> 00:08:42,814 Mm. The smell of a klingon district. We'll have to get the shuttle washed for sure. 177 00:08:42,897 --> 00:08:45,316 - If anyone asks, this was your call. - Okay, snippy. 178 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:47,235 Ooh, yeah. I'm snippy. 179 00:08:47,318 --> 00:08:49,446 Drinking, landing in an unsecured district, 180 00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:51,257 that's how you choose to represent starfleet? 181 00:08:51,281 --> 00:08:54,451 Me and the general are blood-bonded. It would've been weird if I acted stuffy. 182 00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:56,828 He's passed out, and he pooped on his sword. 183 00:08:56,911 --> 00:08:58,621 He's a lightweight. Don't sweat it. 184 00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:01,416 We'll get him a hot cup of raktajino. He will be ready to go. 185 00:09:01,499 --> 00:09:03,793 Oh, no! Oh, no! 186 00:09:04,753 --> 00:09:07,630 No, no, no. No. The shuttle. The shuttle. What the hell? No. 187 00:09:07,714 --> 00:09:09,257 [Chuckles] Classic k'Orin. 188 00:09:09,340 --> 00:09:10,925 He did this on vulcan. 189 00:09:11,009 --> 00:09:13,428 And on earth. He steals a lot of things. 190 00:09:13,511 --> 00:09:15,847 We are stranded here because of your recklessness. 191 00:09:15,930 --> 00:09:16,931 Oh, relax. 192 00:09:17,015 --> 00:09:20,643 We can just beam back to the cerritos and remotely trigger the return autopilot. 193 00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:25,190 Sure. Yeah, if tulgana iv wasn't protected by an ion field 194 00:09:25,273 --> 00:09:27,317 that restricts comms and transporters. 195 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:28,800 Do you even read the mission brief? 196 00:09:28,860 --> 00:09:32,363 I'm sorry. I skimmed almost most of it. And read some of the captions. So... 197 00:09:32,447 --> 00:09:33,531 [Groans] 198 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:37,160 - Dude, where are you going? - I'm tracking down our shuttle. 199 00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:39,803 If we're not back by the next rotation, we'll be court-martialed! 200 00:09:39,871 --> 00:09:41,766 - Don't knock it till you've tried it. - This is serious! 201 00:09:41,790 --> 00:09:43,550 I think we're violating the khitomer accords! 202 00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:47,128 Yeah, I don't wanna go to a penal colony either, but I am not going to speed-walk. 203 00:09:47,212 --> 00:09:49,798 What is this speed-walking? You know we're going the same speed. 204 00:09:49,881 --> 00:09:52,509 Stop it. It's to conserve energy. Section 31 does this. 205 00:09:56,304 --> 00:09:58,973 Yes, general k'Orin was here a short while ago. 206 00:09:59,057 --> 00:10:02,727 It was my honor to serve him a warrior's meal. 207 00:10:02,811 --> 00:10:04,270 [Groans, clears throat] 208 00:10:04,354 --> 00:10:06,394 - Do you know where he went? - Are you tracking him? 209 00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:08,817 Oh, well... I think... 210 00:10:08,900 --> 00:10:10,944 No, we want to kneel before him 211 00:10:11,027 --> 00:10:14,114 and lick his boots like the federation dogs we are. 212 00:10:14,197 --> 00:10:16,825 He went north in search of stronger ale. 213 00:10:16,908 --> 00:10:18,451 He was already wasted. 214 00:10:18,535 --> 00:10:20,078 Is that a problem? 215 00:10:20,161 --> 00:10:23,206 Uh, no. I mean, drinking to excess is cool. 216 00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:25,518 Come on. There's an andorian district just north of here. 217 00:10:25,542 --> 00:10:27,794 So, we're "federation dogs," huh? 218 00:10:27,877 --> 00:10:29,605 Hey, if it got us what we needed, woof, woof. 219 00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,673 I know this is fun, but we really need to get back. 220 00:10:31,756 --> 00:10:33,299 I'm not having fun. 221 00:10:33,383 --> 00:10:36,261 Geez, these guys are acting like they've never seen a starfleet uniform. 222 00:10:36,344 --> 00:10:39,472 Well, they're kaelons, and kaelons are notoriously isolationist. 223 00:10:39,556 --> 00:10:41,224 And that... [grunts] 224 00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:44,477 - [Growls] - Sorry, that's my fault. 225 00:10:44,561 --> 00:10:45,895 Boimler, let's keep moving. 226 00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:48,040 No, no, no. I need to apologize in his native tongue. 227 00:10:48,064 --> 00:10:50,984 Let me think. He's a... taxor. Right. 228 00:10:51,067 --> 00:10:53,194 And they communicate through guttural tones. 229 00:10:53,278 --> 00:10:55,947 [In taxor language] 230 00:10:56,030 --> 00:10:57,073 [Growls] 231 00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:58,241 {gasps} 232 00:10:58,324 --> 00:11:01,369 - [in English] Hey, back off, blue. - No, don't hit him. We have a treaty. 233 00:11:02,704 --> 00:11:03,830 [Grunts] 234 00:11:04,205 --> 00:11:06,124 [In taxor language] 235 00:11:06,207 --> 00:11:07,750 [Grunts] 236 00:11:12,630 --> 00:11:15,067 [Ransom] You made the right choice transferring into command, son. 237 00:11:15,091 --> 00:11:18,678 Nothing compares to the firm, hot pulse of a joystick in your hand. 238 00:11:18,761 --> 00:11:20,430 The bridge is where the action is. 239 00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:21,848 Should be interesting, sir. 240 00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:24,017 Let's start with a classic bridge simulation. 241 00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:25,935 Computer, command trainer 43. 242 00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:27,729 [Computer] Initiating advanced simulation. 243 00:11:28,938 --> 00:11:30,732 Ensign, the bridge is yours. 244 00:11:30,815 --> 00:11:32,358 Be gentle but attentive. 245 00:11:32,442 --> 00:11:34,903 Get her where she needs to be. Guide her home. 246 00:11:34,986 --> 00:11:36,654 Okeydokey. [Chuckles] 247 00:11:38,239 --> 00:11:39,282 Maintain course. 248 00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:40,950 [Shouting] 249 00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:43,703 Captain, we're being drawn into a temporal rift. 250 00:11:43,786 --> 00:11:45,288 - Uh... - Shields at 10%. 251 00:11:45,371 --> 00:11:47,391 - Warp core breach in 30 seconds, captain! - Oh, man. 252 00:11:47,415 --> 00:11:49,250 Captain, we need orders! 253 00:11:49,334 --> 00:11:50,627 Oh, um... 254 00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:51,711 Maintain course? 255 00:11:53,421 --> 00:11:56,382 [Computer] Shin destroyed casualties: 705 %. 256 00:11:56,466 --> 00:11:58,176 How did I kill more than the whole crew? 257 00:11:58,259 --> 00:12:00,220 Okay, that was a rough start. 258 00:12:00,303 --> 00:12:04,265 Fyi, in situations like that, try employing the janeway protocol. 259 00:12:04,349 --> 00:12:06,017 Got it. And what's that? 260 00:12:06,100 --> 00:12:09,729 Ha! Good one. All right, let's try something more straightfon/vard. 261 00:12:09,812 --> 00:12:11,189 Computer, command trainer four. 262 00:12:11,272 --> 00:12:14,525 [Co m p u te r] Ln/tiating basic training simulation. 263 00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:19,322 Captain, we're directly in the path of a small asteroid. Should we move to avoid? 264 00:12:19,405 --> 00:12:21,824 Uh... do the janeway protocol. 265 00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:23,534 Uh, are you sure, sir? 266 00:12:24,202 --> 00:12:25,787 - Yes? - [Shouting] 267 00:12:25,870 --> 00:12:28,873 Collision alert, sir. The kindergarten on deck 8, it's gone! 268 00:12:28,957 --> 00:12:31,584 - [Alarm blaring] - Uh... [shouts] 269 00:12:31,668 --> 00:12:34,170 No. No, no, no, now the pre-k is gone. 270 00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:36,839 All the ship's children have been ejected into space! 271 00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:37,966 All those kids? 272 00:12:38,049 --> 00:12:39,300 Freeze program. 273 00:12:39,384 --> 00:12:43,429 In thousands of simulations, that's literally never happened before. 274 00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:46,182 Let's try another one, on a ship with even more children! 275 00:12:50,061 --> 00:12:52,689 I can't believe I messed up so bad with that taxor. 276 00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:55,692 - I've read, like, five books about them. - Don't sweat it, b. I got you. 277 00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,655 That's even worse. You didn't study them at all. 278 00:12:57,735 --> 00:12:58,987 I study by doing, you know? 279 00:12:59,070 --> 00:13:00,950 Maybe you need to spend less time in the library 280 00:13:00,989 --> 00:13:02,699 and more time letting boimler get nasty. 281 00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:05,302 No, I need to up my studying. Spend even more time in the library. 282 00:13:05,326 --> 00:13:07,578 Whatever, man. Just hang here for a second. 283 00:13:07,662 --> 00:13:10,957 I gotta go blood-pee some bloodwine, maybe get some intel on the general. 284 00:13:11,708 --> 00:13:14,961 Oh. I see we both have a thing for red. 285 00:13:15,044 --> 00:13:16,337 Me, what... red, what? 286 00:13:16,421 --> 00:13:19,090 - Your shirt. We match. - Oh. 287 00:13:19,173 --> 00:13:22,302 Yes, well, this is my work shirt, and I'm ensign... 288 00:13:22,385 --> 00:13:24,512 Ensign Brad boimler. I know. 289 00:13:24,595 --> 00:13:28,057 I can sense your thoughts, your desires. 290 00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:30,518 I know you like jamaharon. 291 00:13:30,601 --> 00:13:32,061 Well, I... [stammers] 292 00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:34,063 Mm. [Chuckles] 293 00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:37,817 [Both scream] 294 00:13:37,900 --> 00:13:39,027 Mariner, what the hell? 295 00:13:39,110 --> 00:13:42,697 That thing is an anabaj. It's gonna implant eggs in your throat, dummy. 296 00:13:42,780 --> 00:13:43,900 - What are you... - [Hissing] 297 00:13:45,575 --> 00:13:47,285 I know you still want it. 298 00:13:47,368 --> 00:13:50,538 I can hear your nasty boy thoughts. Jamaharon. 299 00:13:50,621 --> 00:13:52,582 This boy wants jamaharon! 300 00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:53,750 [Shrieks] 301 00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:55,710 Love your sarong. 302 00:13:55,793 --> 00:13:57,587 - You okay, boims? - Yeah, I just... 303 00:13:57,670 --> 00:14:00,006 I've never even heard of an anabaj. How did you know? 304 00:14:00,089 --> 00:14:02,091 Affinity for red, drawn to the weak-minded, 305 00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:04,594 plus I kind of dated one once, but only to make my mom mad. 306 00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:05,887 Weak-minded? [Grunts] 307 00:14:05,970 --> 00:14:08,449 An andorian in the bathroom said the general's at a bar down the road. 308 00:14:08,473 --> 00:14:10,767 Come on. You can tell me about jamaharon later. 309 00:14:12,101 --> 00:14:14,812 Oh. You're doing a bang-up job with that endocrine system. 310 00:14:14,896 --> 00:14:17,291 It's not so different from engineering. The heart's an engine, 311 00:14:17,315 --> 00:14:20,485 the brain's a computer, the eyes are a different kind of computer. No, cameras. 312 00:14:20,568 --> 00:14:23,422 - Eyes are cameras. Camera eyes. - Sure. Whatever you need to tell yourself. 313 00:14:23,446 --> 00:14:26,199 The next part gets dicey. Keep him distracted. 314 00:14:26,282 --> 00:14:29,162 - Are you sure you don't want me to... - Go chat him up! That's an order. 315 00:14:29,243 --> 00:14:30,495 Tendi, exoscalpel. 316 00:14:31,329 --> 00:14:35,541 Uh, hi. I'm supposed to distract you from all this stuff over here, so... 317 00:14:35,625 --> 00:14:37,385 - I'm gonna be okay, right? - My implant says 318 00:14:37,460 --> 00:14:38,854 there's only a small chance you'll die. 319 00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:40,505 - What? How small? - 18%. 320 00:14:40,588 --> 00:14:43,132 Now it's up to 20. You might wanna control that heart rate. 321 00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:44,217 Oh, god, I'm gonna die! 322 00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:46,803 What the hell are you saying to him? Just calm him down! 323 00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:50,390 Uh, take your mind off of this. Think about work. Think about the warp core. 324 00:14:50,473 --> 00:14:51,891 I got burned in the warp core! 325 00:14:51,974 --> 00:14:55,395 Those are dilithium burns? How are you still alive, man? You should be dead. 326 00:14:55,478 --> 00:14:57,814 Get out of here! Tendi, take over. 327 00:14:57,897 --> 00:14:59,607 - Wait, but... - Sorry. 328 00:14:59,690 --> 00:15:02,485 Don't worry, you're looking just fine, inside and out. 329 00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:05,279 Oh, my god. Oh, thank god. That robot said I was dying. 330 00:15:06,197 --> 00:15:08,258 Listen, kid, you're great at digging around in a body, 331 00:15:08,282 --> 00:15:10,243 but if you can't muster up some bedside manner, 332 00:15:10,326 --> 00:15:12,578 you may as well be with the grunts in security. 333 00:15:13,162 --> 00:15:14,288 Welcome to security. 334 00:15:14,372 --> 00:15:16,707 Why don't we throw you into the fire and see if you burn? 335 00:15:16,791 --> 00:15:20,711 Computer, initiate combat simulation "smorgasborg." 336 00:15:20,795 --> 00:15:22,046 [Computer] Initiating. 337 00:15:22,130 --> 00:15:23,548 [Shouts] Borg! 338 00:15:23,631 --> 00:15:26,759 Oh, crap. I don't know how to fight. I don't know how to fight. 339 00:15:26,843 --> 00:15:28,386 Maybe this thing does? 340 00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:32,515 [Chuckles] Okay. 341 00:15:32,598 --> 00:15:33,599 [Grunting] 342 00:15:33,683 --> 00:15:34,684 I can do that? 343 00:15:39,397 --> 00:15:40,523 Take that! 344 00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:44,444 [Grunting continues] 345 00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:51,242 In the name of the prophets. 346 00:15:51,325 --> 00:15:55,329 I put people into that simulation so they can learn how to deal with defeat. 347 00:15:55,413 --> 00:15:59,000 Ensign, you are a natural-born warrior. 348 00:15:59,083 --> 00:16:00,543 Oh. Okeydokey. 349 00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:04,422 Keep your head down. Andorians don't mess around. 350 00:16:04,505 --> 00:16:06,716 Andorians were a founding member of the federation. 351 00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:08,259 Please don't explain them to me. 352 00:16:08,342 --> 00:16:10,942 I can look out for myself. You wanna tell me about tellarites too? 353 00:16:11,012 --> 00:16:14,015 Maybe shut up and keep an eye out for the shuttle. How about that? 354 00:16:14,098 --> 00:16:16,309 [Groans] No, you're hurting me. Please. 355 00:16:16,392 --> 00:16:17,393 [Grunts] 356 00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:18,519 My bones. 357 00:16:18,603 --> 00:16:20,605 - {gasps} They're killing him! - Boimler! 358 00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:22,607 Please, no. I can explain. 359 00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:24,609 Explain it to my boot. 360 00:16:24,692 --> 00:16:26,027 [Groans] 361 00:16:26,110 --> 00:16:28,088 Starfleet. I order you to step away from the elder. 362 00:16:28,112 --> 00:16:30,865 You idiot! That's no elder, it's... 363 00:16:30,948 --> 00:16:32,950 Now I'm a little boy. 364 00:16:33,034 --> 00:16:34,702 [Groans] A shapeshifter? Boo. 365 00:16:34,785 --> 00:16:37,622 That vendorian is a thief, and you let him get away! 366 00:16:37,705 --> 00:16:40,249 They must be working together! [Grunts] 367 00:16:42,084 --> 00:16:43,669 [Roars] 368 00:16:43,753 --> 00:16:46,756 [Grunting] 369 00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:49,258 Oh, no! [Shouts] 370 00:16:52,553 --> 00:16:55,890 Stand down. This is in violation of the tulganan neutrality pact. 371 00:16:55,973 --> 00:16:57,642 [Grunts, groans] 372 00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:00,811 [Screams] 373 00:17:06,734 --> 00:17:07,860 Kirk hands! 374 00:17:09,570 --> 00:17:13,157 Hello, alien people, alien creatures and beings. 375 00:17:13,241 --> 00:17:14,617 Look up here. Thank you. Okay. 376 00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:18,412 I'd be happy to hand you all your asses, but right now we're kind of on a deadline, 377 00:17:18,496 --> 00:17:21,207 so how about instead of fighting, the next five rounds are on me? 378 00:17:22,166 --> 00:17:23,626 [Cheering] 379 00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:27,880 It's cool. I stole it from that taxor. 380 00:17:27,964 --> 00:17:29,757 Excuse me. Sir, I don't know you. 381 00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:31,759 That is starfleet property you're handling. 382 00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:35,805 [Groans] 383 00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:39,308 Ugh. Apparently we just missed k'Orin. If we hurry, maybe we can get him. 384 00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:40,601 I don't even care anymore. 385 00:17:40,685 --> 00:17:42,395 What? Oh, man. How much blood did you lose? 386 00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:46,440 This whole time I've either been one step behind you or totally in the dark. 387 00:17:46,524 --> 00:17:49,527 Yeah, but only because I'm pretty amazing. Look, everyone has bad days. 388 00:17:49,610 --> 00:17:51,404 All that studying and where did it get me? 389 00:17:51,487 --> 00:17:54,365 A klingon threw a knife at my head, I nearly got eggs laid in my throat, 390 00:17:54,448 --> 00:17:56,117 those guys at the bar wanted to eat me. 391 00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:57,660 What is that? What are you doing? 392 00:17:57,743 --> 00:18:00,121 Kitalia leaves. They contain a numbing agent. 393 00:18:00,204 --> 00:18:03,249 I've never once seen you study, but then you just breeze in here, 394 00:18:03,332 --> 00:18:05,793 knowing cool plant tricks and which aliens are which. 395 00:18:05,876 --> 00:18:07,596 - How? - Dude, I told you. I've been places. 396 00:18:07,628 --> 00:18:10,214 - I just pick stuff up along the way. - I could never do that. 397 00:18:10,298 --> 00:18:12,174 I guess I'm just not cut out for starfleet. 398 00:18:12,258 --> 00:18:15,261 - Oh, please. You're Mr. Starfleet. - No, I'm not. Not like you are. 399 00:18:15,344 --> 00:18:18,598 I should just turn in my uniform and go work on a research asteroid. 400 00:18:18,681 --> 00:18:20,474 [Gasps] No. Absolutely not. 401 00:18:20,558 --> 00:18:23,158 Don't even joke about that. That is the lamest thing you could do. 402 00:18:23,185 --> 00:18:25,938 I should just study bugs on a far-off planet 403 00:18:26,022 --> 00:18:27,523 and then eventually get eaten. 404 00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:30,818 And no one will even know until they stumble across my distress call, 405 00:18:30,901 --> 00:18:32,069 but it'll be way too late, 406 00:18:32,153 --> 00:18:35,257 and then they'll have to spend a bunch of time deciphering how things went wrong 407 00:18:35,281 --> 00:18:38,326 based on my final shaky video logs. 408 00:18:38,409 --> 00:18:40,286 I'm sure you wouldn't get eaten. 409 00:18:40,369 --> 00:18:43,289 Starfleet doesn't just need badass, cool people like me. 410 00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:45,708 They need, like, book-smart people like you too. 411 00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:47,793 When we get back, I'm done! 412 00:18:47,877 --> 00:18:49,503 [Grunts] 413 00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:54,759 All right, everyone. Huddle up! 414 00:18:54,842 --> 00:18:58,596 I wanna introduce you to the newest bear in our bear pack. 415 00:18:58,679 --> 00:19:01,098 Rutherford's blood runs yellow and black. 416 00:19:01,182 --> 00:19:02,808 He's one of us. 417 00:19:02,892 --> 00:19:07,355 Security isn't like the other departments, no. It's a higher calling. 418 00:19:07,438 --> 00:19:09,607 We stand shoulder to shoulder, 419 00:19:09,690 --> 00:19:13,527 holding the line against dangers known and unknown. 420 00:19:13,611 --> 00:19:16,781 No greater honor than to die beside you in battle. 421 00:19:16,864 --> 00:19:18,115 Yes, rutherford. 422 00:19:18,199 --> 00:19:22,411 You're never going to have to see the inside of a jefferies tube again. 423 00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:26,457 Thank you, sir. This all sounds fun, but not for me. 424 00:19:26,540 --> 00:19:27,833 - [All gasp] - What? 425 00:19:27,917 --> 00:19:31,087 My heart's in engineering. I'd like permission to leave the bear pack. 426 00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:33,464 Rutherford, that is... 427 00:19:33,547 --> 00:19:34,548 Outstanding! 428 00:19:34,632 --> 00:19:37,009 Gotta be true to yourself! Am I right, bears? 429 00:19:37,093 --> 00:19:38,177 - [Cheers] - Hurrah! 430 00:19:38,260 --> 00:19:39,720 Aw, bears! 431 00:19:41,305 --> 00:19:43,283 We gotta take a shortcut. We're almost out of time. 432 00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:45,810 - Whatever. Who cares? - I clearly do. 433 00:19:45,893 --> 00:19:47,228 Greetings, humans. 434 00:19:47,311 --> 00:19:49,563 I noticed you are injured. 435 00:19:49,647 --> 00:19:52,400 Perhaps I could provide you transport? 436 00:19:52,483 --> 00:19:53,859 Uh, no, thank you, sir. 437 00:19:53,943 --> 00:19:55,463 Yeah, right. Can you believe this guy? 438 00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:57,673 Actually, that would be great. We're kind of in a hurry. 439 00:19:57,697 --> 00:19:59,115 - Wait, what? - Excellent! 440 00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:01,492 My shuttle is just beyond that Ridge. 441 00:20:01,575 --> 00:20:03,327 Come, come. 442 00:20:03,411 --> 00:20:05,329 What are you doing? We can't trust a ferengi. 443 00:20:05,413 --> 00:20:07,206 - What? He's not a ferengi. - Yes, he is. 444 00:20:07,289 --> 00:20:09,458 - I think he's a bolian. - Oh, my god. 445 00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:10,835 He cannot be more ferengi. 446 00:20:10,918 --> 00:20:13,438 Big ears, beady eyes, the greedy thing they do with their hands. 447 00:20:13,504 --> 00:20:15,005 Human. 448 00:20:15,089 --> 00:20:16,257 [Snickers] 449 00:20:16,340 --> 00:20:18,551 Ferengi are the most untrustworthy race in the galaxy. 450 00:20:18,634 --> 00:20:20,845 He probably wants to lure us there so he can mug us! 451 00:20:20,928 --> 00:20:23,681 Look, we need a ride now, and my gut is telling me this is fine. 452 00:20:23,764 --> 00:20:27,893 Need I remind you that you've been wrong about literally everything today? 453 00:20:27,977 --> 00:20:29,645 - Not this! - Uh-huh. Sure. 454 00:20:29,729 --> 00:20:33,315 - Okay, buddy. Let's go. - Good, good. Follow me right this... 455 00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:35,443 - What's your landing code? - Uh, what? 456 00:20:35,526 --> 00:20:37,570 Tulganan security requires all shuttlecraft 457 00:20:37,653 --> 00:20:39,113 to provide a secure landing code. 458 00:20:39,196 --> 00:20:41,396 If you really have a shuttle here, you must have a code. 459 00:20:41,449 --> 00:20:44,201 Oh, my code. Yes, it's, uh... 460 00:20:44,285 --> 00:20:45,870 Right here! 461 00:20:45,953 --> 00:20:48,247 - Give me your profit! - [Grunts] 462 00:20:48,330 --> 00:20:50,374 Ah! Starfleet! 463 00:20:50,458 --> 00:20:53,043 Hey, ferengi, get out of here! Get, get! 464 00:20:53,127 --> 00:20:56,756 Okay, maybe you were right. That seems like that might've been a ferengi. 465 00:20:56,839 --> 00:20:58,132 I was so right! 466 00:20:58,215 --> 00:21:01,927 Yes! Uh! Holy crap, it's the shuttle! It's the shuttle! 467 00:21:03,345 --> 00:21:04,180 Bye-bye. 468 00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:06,766 - Isn't that illegal? - Are they gonna send me a bill in space? 469 00:21:06,849 --> 00:21:08,809 Fair enough. If we gun it, we can make it in time. 470 00:21:08,851 --> 00:21:09,894 [Snoring] 471 00:21:09,977 --> 00:21:11,270 Aw, man. He drank everything. 472 00:21:11,353 --> 00:21:12,513 - What do we do? - Grab a leg. 473 00:21:12,563 --> 00:21:14,064 Let's leave him by the front door, 474 00:21:14,148 --> 00:21:16,192 unless you don't think that's starfleet enough. 475 00:21:16,275 --> 00:21:17,693 It isn't, but let's do it. 476 00:21:20,946 --> 00:21:24,533 I demand you give me an honorable... 477 00:21:24,617 --> 00:21:26,035 [Retches, groans] 478 00:21:26,744 --> 00:21:30,289 [Sighs] Someone contact the cerritos. Tell them we finally found k'Orin. 479 00:21:30,372 --> 00:21:32,374 He is just in time for the peace accords. 480 00:21:32,458 --> 00:21:35,002 Fetch me my drinking horn. I need ale. 481 00:21:35,085 --> 00:21:37,213 Are you [bleep] kidding me? No, stop that! 482 00:21:40,382 --> 00:21:42,051 Whew! What a day! 483 00:21:42,134 --> 00:21:44,678 Man, that escort mission kinda went off the rails, huh? 484 00:21:44,762 --> 00:21:45,930 Sure did. 485 00:21:46,013 --> 00:21:49,141 Can't believe I didn't realize that was a ferengi in the park. 486 00:21:49,225 --> 00:21:50,434 [Chuckles, sighs] 487 00:21:50,518 --> 00:21:54,772 Hey, so you think maybe, fun idea, we could just keep it between us? 488 00:21:54,855 --> 00:21:56,440 For sure. We're in a circle of trust. 489 00:21:56,524 --> 00:21:58,526 This is a shuttle of silence. 490 00:21:59,026 --> 00:22:01,362 So the ferengi's right there, and I'm like, 491 00:22:01,445 --> 00:22:03,614 "mariner, we can't trust this guy. He's a ferengi." 492 00:22:03,697 --> 00:22:07,368 And then she says... she says, get this, she says, "oh, no. That's a bolian." 493 00:22:07,451 --> 00:22:09,245 [All laughing] 494 00:22:09,870 --> 00:22:12,873 - Bolian! - Okay, okay. Yep, yep, all right. 495 00:22:12,957 --> 00:22:15,292 After this long day of being a badass, 496 00:22:15,376 --> 00:22:18,212 captain know-it-all over here doesn't even know what a ferengi was. 497 00:22:18,295 --> 00:22:19,797 It wasn't as clear as that! 498 00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:21,966 [Grunts, imitates ferengi] Human! 499 00:22:22,049 --> 00:22:24,134 He was doing the hand thing and everything. 500 00:22:24,218 --> 00:22:28,430 That's my cue to go just launch myself out an airlock. You guys have a great night! 501 00:22:28,514 --> 00:22:31,976 Lucky I was there! I spotted it. I called it. I called it. 502 00:22:32,059 --> 00:22:33,477 [All laughing] 503 00:22:34,812 --> 00:22:35,938 Tendi, I'm sorry. 504 00:22:36,021 --> 00:22:38,691 I tried to make it work in another division. I just couldn't do it. 505 00:22:38,774 --> 00:22:40,192 I belong in the tubes. 506 00:22:40,276 --> 00:22:42,111 I'm not going to be able to watch the pulsar. 507 00:22:42,194 --> 00:22:44,475 Whatever. I'll just watch it in there with you on my padd. 508 00:22:44,530 --> 00:22:47,199 You can? We don't have to go to the observation deck or anything? 509 00:22:47,283 --> 00:22:48,993 Nah, I just wanted company. [Chuckles] 510 00:22:49,076 --> 00:22:52,788 It's not like you were trying all these new jobs just to hang with me, right? 511 00:22:52,872 --> 00:22:53,914 [Chuckles] 512 00:22:53,998 --> 00:22:55,165 Nah, yeah, nah. 513 00:22:55,249 --> 00:22:56,917 Could you imagine? 514 00:22:59,003 --> 00:23:00,254 [Padd beeps] 515 00:23:00,754 --> 00:23:03,716 Ah, ll/lariner, was / convincing enough for you? 516 00:23:03,799 --> 00:23:05,676 Human! [Laughs] 517 00:23:05,759 --> 00:23:07,970 You were perfect, quimp. Thanks for helping out. 518 00:23:08,053 --> 00:23:09,430 Of course! I owed you one. 519 00:23:09,513 --> 00:23:11,265 - How's the wife? - She's good! 520 00:23:11,348 --> 00:23:14,018 We 're actually looking to get away to risa this weekend 521 00:23:14,101 --> 00:23:16,228 what? Uh, jealous! 522 00:23:16,312 --> 00:23:19,148 You know what you guys should try? Jamaharon. 523 00:23:21,025 --> 00:23:22,026 Wow. 524 00:23:22,610 --> 00:23:24,695 - Isn't it amazing? - [Sighs] 525 00:23:24,778 --> 00:23:26,614 It's beautiful. 526 00:24:28,092 --> 00:24:29,510 Pew pew! Pew, pew, pew! Pew pew! 527 00:24:31,553 --> 00:24:32,554 Chirp. 40310

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