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1
00:00:07,883 --> 00:00:11,678
Captain's log, stardaz'e 574362.
2
00:00:12,429 --> 00:00:16,808
The cerritos is docked at Douglas station
for routine maintenance and resupply.
3
00:00:17,601 --> 00:00:20,938
We will soon set course for
the capital planet on the ga/ar system,
4
00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:22,940
where we 're scheduled
to make second contact
5
00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:25,067
with the ga/ardon/an high counc/I.
6
00:00:25,150 --> 00:00:29,238
First contact is a delicate,
high-stakes operation of dio/omacy.
7
00:00:29,321 --> 00:00:31,198
One must be ready for anything
8
00:00:31,281 --> 00:00:34,451
when humanity is interacting
with an alien race for the first time.
9
00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:37,371
But we don't do that.
10
00:00:37,454 --> 00:00:40,707
Our specialty is second contact.
Still pretty important.
11
00:00:40,791 --> 00:00:43,877
We get paperwork signed, make sure
we spell the name of the planet right,
12
00:00:43,961 --> 00:00:47,172
get to know all the good places to eat...
13
00:00:47,256 --> 00:00:48,257
Oh, my god.
14
00:00:48,340 --> 00:00:50,300
- What are you doing?
- Nothing. I'm just...
15
00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:52,052
Oh, no. No!
16
00:00:52,135 --> 00:00:55,764
- Are you pretending to do a captain's log?
- We're all supposed to keep logs.
17
00:00:55,847 --> 00:00:58,267
- Okay. Let me listen to it.
- No! Go away. Leave me alone.
18
00:00:58,350 --> 00:01:00,769
I can't believe you're wasting
your shore leave on this.
19
00:01:00,852 --> 00:01:03,480
- Privacy, please!
- Time to go. Get out of the little closet.
20
00:01:04,690 --> 00:01:07,025
- Are you drunk?
- Yeah, dude. You should be too.
21
00:01:07,109 --> 00:01:10,028
I mean, this station is amazing.
And they have romulan whiskey.
22
00:01:10,112 --> 00:01:13,323
I bet you thought it's green, but
it's actually blue. It's very beautiful.
23
00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:16,201
- Romulan whiskey is against regulation.
- Yeah, 'cause it's awesome.
24
00:01:16,285 --> 00:01:18,620
Oh, man, they got all sorts
of great stuff. Ooh! Ooh!
25
00:01:18,704 --> 00:01:20,581
Come on. Check this out.
26
00:01:20,664 --> 00:01:22,583
- Be careful with that!
- Pretty sweet, right?
27
00:01:22,666 --> 00:01:25,546
Yeah, it's a klingon bat... um, bat...
I don't know. I'm not a scientist.
28
00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:28,171
Doesn't matter. Shut up.
I got it from a guy with an eye patch.
29
00:01:28,255 --> 00:01:29,506
Come spar with me! Come on!
30
00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:32,301
We can be klingons. We can have
crimped hair and wrinkled foreheads.
31
00:01:32,384 --> 00:01:34,970
- It's got crusty blood on it!
- I love honor!
32
00:01:35,053 --> 00:01:37,014
- Stop! Stop!
- I demand honor!
33
00:03:04,142 --> 00:03:05,143
Wow.
34
00:03:09,272 --> 00:03:10,524
Here we go.
35
00:03:10,607 --> 00:03:14,319
Ensign d'vana tendi reporting for duty.
I'm a transfer from outpost 79.
36
00:03:14,403 --> 00:03:17,239
Deck 4. Follow the yellow line,
take the turbolift all the way down.
37
00:03:17,322 --> 00:03:20,242
Thank you so much! Can I just say
that I'm really honored to be...
38
00:03:20,325 --> 00:03:22,577
Keep it moving, lower decks. Next!
39
00:03:24,121 --> 00:03:27,124
Banana, hot. Banana, hot.
40
00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:28,792
Ah! Frickin' burned me.
41
00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:31,044
Uh, is there an ensign boimler here?
42
00:03:31,128 --> 00:03:33,046
- Banana, hot.
- Ah, ah, ah, ah.
43
00:03:33,130 --> 00:03:34,464
Hi. Here. That's me. Ahoy.
44
00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:37,134
Ensign tendi reporting for duty.
You're my orientation liaison.
45
00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:39,553
Yes. Welcome.
Brad boimler, ensign, command division.
46
00:03:39,636 --> 00:03:42,681
Oh, my gosh!
I've never worked with commanders before.
47
00:03:42,764 --> 00:03:43,932
I'm in sciences.
48
00:03:44,015 --> 00:03:46,143
I love science! Uh, it's so "science-y."
49
00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:48,186
That blue goes green with...
I mean, great with...
50
00:03:48,270 --> 00:03:49,271
Yo, yo! What up?
51
00:03:49,354 --> 00:03:51,314
Beckett mariner, also an ensign,
command division,
52
00:03:51,356 --> 00:03:55,360
but not quite as impressed with myself
as this little rascal over here.
53
00:03:55,444 --> 00:03:58,780
We're not actual commanders, by the way.
We're more like commanders-in-training.
54
00:03:58,864 --> 00:04:00,866
I can't believe we're gonna serve
side by side.
55
00:04:00,949 --> 00:04:04,202
- Scientists and commanders, an elite team.
- Yeah, no. We're not really elite.
56
00:04:04,286 --> 00:04:07,539
We're more like the cool,
scrappy underdogs of the ship, you know?
57
00:04:07,622 --> 00:04:10,125
We don't wash our hands.
We're doing kickflips all the time.
58
00:04:10,208 --> 00:04:11,960
But with focus and dedication,
59
00:04:12,043 --> 00:04:15,213
you could be chief medical officer
someday.
60
00:04:15,297 --> 00:04:16,882
Oh. Senior officers are overrated.
61
00:04:16,965 --> 00:04:19,301
They're always stressed out
and yelling about directives.
62
00:04:19,384 --> 00:04:21,344
It is better down here
where the real action is.
63
00:04:21,428 --> 00:04:23,228
You really don't care
about moving up in rank?
64
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:25,140
Been there. Definitely over it.
65
00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:27,504
Whenever you think for yourself,
they knock you back down.
66
00:04:27,559 --> 00:04:30,812
For someone who claims to hate rank,
you certainly bring it up a lot.
67
00:04:30,896 --> 00:04:32,522
Yes, I'm very complicated. Thank you.
68
00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:35,692
- Ooh. You want the tour?
- Of the... the ship? Uh, yes!
69
00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:38,653
- You don't like giving the tour.
- True. But I do...
70
00:04:38,737 --> 00:04:41,656
Have a big box of
shore leave contraband I need help with.
71
00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:44,749
The senior officers are all up here.
72
00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:47,412
Then you've got engineering,
science stations,
73
00:04:47,496 --> 00:04:50,081
all sorts of ops around here.
74
00:04:50,165 --> 00:04:52,876
Ops, ops, ops, storage, ops...
75
00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:54,461
Actually, there's a ton of ops.
76
00:04:54,544 --> 00:04:56,713
It's like, "I think we have ops covered."
77
00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:57,881
And we're here?
78
00:04:57,964 --> 00:04:59,925
Well, no, we're actually way down here.
79
00:05:00,008 --> 00:05:03,053
What this map doesn't show you
is that everything from this deck up,
80
00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:04,638
super lame, not important to us.
81
00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:06,601
- You like the bar.
- Everything except the bar.
82
00:05:06,681 --> 00:05:07,682
And the bridge.
83
00:05:07,766 --> 00:05:09,351
- The bridge is not cool.
- Yes, it is.
84
00:05:09,434 --> 00:05:11,937
Oh. Hey, that's rutherford.
Rutherford! What's up?
85
00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:16,441
- Yo. Slow down. Is your thingy acting up?
- Rutherford's an engineer.
86
00:05:16,525 --> 00:05:19,236
And as of a couple weeks ago,
cybernetically enhanced.
87
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:21,196
Ooh. I've never met a recent cyborg.
88
00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:23,406
- Nice to meet you. Welcome to the crew.
- Wait.
89
00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:25,492
Don't you have a date
with ensign Barnes tonight?
90
00:05:25,575 --> 00:05:26,576
Sure do.
91
00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:28,286
She's crazy hot. Are you nervous?
92
00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:31,498
Trying to be,
but this thing keeps tamping it down.
93
00:05:31,581 --> 00:05:34,125
Yikes! Okay, you got it.
Uh-oh. I'm nervous.
94
00:05:34,209 --> 00:05:37,021
What if I say something stupid?
What if she doesn't like the way I look?
95
00:05:37,045 --> 00:05:39,589
I can only look one way!
I can't change it by tonight!
96
00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:41,299
- Better?
- Yeah. Thanks.
97
00:05:41,383 --> 00:05:43,694
What if she hates my jokes?
I don't know any jokes.
98
00:05:43,718 --> 00:05:44,719
I'm gonna puke!
99
00:05:44,803 --> 00:05:45,804
What else?
100
00:05:45,887 --> 00:05:48,282
That's a room of switches and dials
you'll never need to go into.
101
00:05:48,306 --> 00:05:50,350
It's actually a pretty important
processing hub.
102
00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:52,519
Nobody knows what that room is.
103
00:05:52,602 --> 00:05:55,689
It's a pattern buffer maintenance access.
She knows that. She's being funny.
104
00:05:55,772 --> 00:05:59,317
This is boimler's hidey-closet, where he
pretends to be a captain like a big boy.
105
00:05:59,401 --> 00:06:00,610
This is not a good tour!
106
00:06:02,612 --> 00:06:04,531
So, yeah, we kind of sleep in a hallway.
107
00:06:04,614 --> 00:06:07,826
It's disappointing, but eventually,
when you rank up, you get your own room.
108
00:06:07,909 --> 00:06:10,078
We're pretty close to the showers,
which is nice.
109
00:06:10,161 --> 00:06:12,080
Does get kind of musty though,
110
00:06:12,163 --> 00:06:14,416
which is weird
'cause the showers are Sonic.
111
00:06:14,499 --> 00:06:16,710
Whoa. Whoa.
112
00:06:18,753 --> 00:06:20,714
It's perfect.
113
00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:23,925
Once you get settled, you should check in
with nurse westlake in medical.
114
00:06:24,009 --> 00:06:26,770
- You'll be assisting him with some...
- Let's check out the holodeck.
115
00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:28,043
She doesn't have time for that.
116
00:06:28,096 --> 00:06:29,856
- How do you know?
- Because I'm her liaison.
117
00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:32,100
Oh, yeah? Then what time is it?
And don't check.
118
00:06:32,183 --> 00:06:35,562
Because if she doesn't have time,
then you should know what time it is.
119
00:06:35,645 --> 00:06:37,856
Othennise,
you're just trying to sound important.
120
00:06:37,939 --> 00:06:39,774
So, what time is it?
121
00:06:40,525 --> 00:06:43,153
Welcome to the holodeck!
Easily the best part of the ship.
122
00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:44,863
The warp core is the best part.
123
00:06:44,946 --> 00:06:47,908
Followed by the bridge,
the photon torpedo tubes, cetacean ops...
124
00:06:47,991 --> 00:06:51,036
- The warp core is just a big glowing tube.
- I love the warp core.
125
00:06:51,119 --> 00:06:53,038
- The warp core rules.
- No, it doesn't.
126
00:06:53,121 --> 00:06:55,040
Computer, find us a beach in Hawaii.
127
00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:59,169
What is this? This stuff is crazy.
128
00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:01,922
- What does it do?
- It gets everywhere and gives you a rash.
129
00:07:02,005 --> 00:07:03,214
You get a rash from sand?
130
00:07:03,298 --> 00:07:04,883
- What, you don't?
- No. Nobody does.
131
00:07:04,966 --> 00:07:06,927
Oh, god. I always do.
132
00:07:07,010 --> 00:07:08,428
Go ahead. Take her for a spin.
133
00:07:08,511 --> 00:07:11,431
Computer, can you put us
in the adashake center on Orion?
134
00:07:13,058 --> 00:07:15,810
Wow. I never made time to go
before I enlisted.
135
00:07:15,894 --> 00:07:18,939
Pretty cool, right? You can go
almost anywhere you can imagine.
136
00:07:19,022 --> 00:07:21,062
- Come on, boimler. Give it a whirl.
- I don't know.
137
00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:23,360
Come on! There has to be
somewhere you'd love to be.
138
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:26,196
Um. Computer, show us the warp core.
139
00:07:27,530 --> 00:07:29,240
Wow! Amazing!
140
00:07:29,324 --> 00:07:31,701
What an impressive feat of engineering.
141
00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:33,662
You really bum me out sometimes.
142
00:07:33,745 --> 00:07:35,640
Ensign boimler, report to the bridge.
143
00:07:35,664 --> 00:07:36,998
You work on the bridge?
144
00:07:37,082 --> 00:07:38,458
Yeah, that's right.
145
00:07:38,541 --> 00:07:40,919
Because they appreciate people
who follow the rules.
146
00:07:41,002 --> 00:07:42,420
Who's boring now?
147
00:07:42,504 --> 00:07:43,630
On my way.
148
00:07:43,713 --> 00:07:45,507
Wow. Does he get to go up there a lot?
149
00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:47,750
Nah. Just whenever someone spills a drink
or something.
150
00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:51,137
Computer, load mariner program
"all-nude olympic training facility."
151
00:07:51,221 --> 00:07:52,806
You might wanna back up a bit.
152
00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:57,727
Wow. This is a very detailed program.
153
00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:08,530
Farewell, commander.
154
00:08:08,613 --> 00:08:10,490
Thanks again for your hospitality,
chancellor.
155
00:08:10,573 --> 00:08:13,368
We'll be sending construction teams down
to help with the...
156
00:08:13,451 --> 00:08:16,871
To help with the subspace comm array
as soon as we load up the supplies.
157
00:08:16,955 --> 00:08:19,249
Ransom to cerritos. Five to beam up.
158
00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:27,716
- Should you get that looked at, sir?
- Eh. I'll be fine.
159
00:08:27,799 --> 00:08:29,092
Wanna grab a drink tonight?
160
00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:33,388
You know it. Nothing like a cold
beer after a smooth second contact.
161
00:08:33,471 --> 00:08:35,015
Now that's what I'm talking about.
162
00:08:35,098 --> 00:08:37,308
Oh, yeah!
163
00:08:40,145 --> 00:08:42,063
Bridge.
164
00:08:48,820 --> 00:08:51,781
Ensign, what are you doing on the bridge?
165
00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:52,866
Sorry, what?
166
00:08:52,949 --> 00:08:56,036
I said,
why aren't you at your post, ensign?
167
00:08:56,119 --> 00:08:57,579
Ransom, report.
168
00:08:57,662 --> 00:09:01,166
Coordination with the galardonian high
council is ahead of schedule, captain.
169
00:09:01,249 --> 00:09:02,584
Excellent. Keep me posted.
170
00:09:02,667 --> 00:09:04,002
Ensign, you're with me.
171
00:09:08,506 --> 00:09:11,468
Brad boimler. Born modesto, California.
172
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:14,054
Commissioned in '79. Not a single demerit.
173
00:09:14,137 --> 00:09:16,347
- You keep a personal log?
- Sometimes five a day.
174
00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:17,557
That's excessive.
175
00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:19,434
Do you see a captain's chair
in your future?
176
00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:20,685
I hope so, ma'am.
177
00:09:20,769 --> 00:09:22,729
Well, I see a lot of potential
in you, son,
178
00:09:22,812 --> 00:09:25,398
which is why I'm giving you
a special assignment.
179
00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:27,942
Really? I mean, of course, yes,
whatever you need.
180
00:09:28,026 --> 00:09:29,819
Keep an eye on ensign mariner.
181
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:33,198
If she breaks protocol,
I want a full report.
182
00:09:33,281 --> 00:09:35,492
Sorry, ma'am. Is something wrong?
183
00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:38,119
I like my crew working in lockstep.
184
00:09:38,203 --> 00:09:40,497
There isn't any wiggle room
on the cerritos,
185
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:42,415
not when lives are at stake.
186
00:09:42,499 --> 00:09:44,250
- Do you disagree?
- No, ma'am.
187
00:09:44,334 --> 00:09:45,960
Good. Dismissed.
188
00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:47,128
Ensign,
189
00:09:47,212 --> 00:09:49,547
let's keep this between us, shall we?
190
00:09:51,966 --> 00:09:53,384
What? Oh, man.
191
00:09:53,468 --> 00:09:55,553
I would kill
to work on the deflector dish.
192
00:09:55,637 --> 00:09:57,847
Most of my day is spent
repairing food replicators.
193
00:09:57,931 --> 00:10:00,159
- They break that often?
- Only when you get food in 'em.
194
00:10:00,183 --> 00:10:02,783
At least you don't have to be around
lieutenant commander billups.
195
00:10:02,852 --> 00:10:05,855
Knowing how to talk to women
is kind of that guy's final frontier.
196
00:10:07,232 --> 00:10:08,232
That is illogical.
197
00:10:08,274 --> 00:10:10,443
Oh, sor... sorry. Is he a friend of yours?
198
00:10:10,527 --> 00:10:12,403
N-n-n-n-no. It's this vulcan implant.
199
00:10:12,487 --> 00:10:14,864
It keeps on randomly suppressing
my emotional reactions.
200
00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:18,159
Sorry if this is making it weird.
I'm just not used to being a cyborg yet.
201
00:10:18,243 --> 00:10:20,328
Actually, my dad was a cyborg.
202
00:10:22,997 --> 00:10:25,208
Shaxs drop his latte again?
Guy's got baby hands.
203
00:10:26,376 --> 00:10:28,813
Computer,
send me a suck-up to clean up my mess.
204
00:10:28,837 --> 00:10:31,172
I have a giant torso
and little hands. Over.
205
00:10:31,256 --> 00:10:33,216
- Right?
- Yeah. Hilarious.
206
00:10:36,177 --> 00:10:38,012
All right, people, you know the plan.
207
00:10:38,096 --> 00:10:40,849
Let's get this array set up so the, uh...
208
00:10:40,932 --> 00:10:44,936
"Galardonians" can communicate
with the rest of the federation.
209
00:10:48,731 --> 00:10:51,192
Oh, man. This is really nice.
210
00:10:51,276 --> 00:10:54,904
I'm glad we got to sit down and get to
know each other without any interruptions.
211
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:15,091
- Set phasers to stun!
- Oh, man!
212
00:11:16,426 --> 00:11:18,428
So, where are you quartered?
213
00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:21,472
Deck 9! By the squash courts.
214
00:11:21,556 --> 00:11:23,850
Someone brought a virus back
from the planet.
215
00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:26,102
This is happening all over the ship.
216
00:11:27,812 --> 00:11:29,731
I've never played squash! Is it fun?
217
00:11:29,814 --> 00:11:31,482
We should play sometime!
218
00:11:36,779 --> 00:11:39,532
Oh, yeah. It's all gonna be over subspace.
You're gonna love it.
219
00:11:48,249 --> 00:11:49,292
Unbelievable.
220
00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:58,593
Hey, you, green girl,
strap patients down as they come in.
221
00:11:58,676 --> 00:12:01,804
Double them up if you have to.
They aren't gonna infect each other twice.
222
00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:03,139
But, uh...
223
00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:05,767
Uh, I was actually supposed
to be assisting nurse westlake.
224
00:12:05,850 --> 00:12:07,685
That is nurse westlake!
225
00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:12,106
Wow. It's such an honor to meet you, sir.
226
00:12:13,316 --> 00:12:15,068
I'm looking foward to working with you.
227
00:12:20,782 --> 00:12:22,200
Ah-ha!
228
00:12:22,283 --> 00:12:24,744
Boimler! Ugh!
Don't jump out at people, for real, man!
229
00:12:24,827 --> 00:12:26,204
You're lucky I didn't phaser you.
230
00:12:26,287 --> 00:12:28,831
You're selling federation weapons
to these guys, aren't you?
231
00:12:28,915 --> 00:12:30,959
- Yo, calm down.
- No!
232
00:12:31,042 --> 00:12:33,419
I'm sick of you pushing me around!
233
00:12:33,503 --> 00:12:36,214
Explain yourself right here!
234
00:12:36,297 --> 00:12:39,217
Boims, shut up. Listen to me.
You know nothing. Shut your mouth!
235
00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:41,928
Uh, we're just gonna take off...
236
00:12:42,011 --> 00:12:43,179
Nobody move!
237
00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:47,183
Selling starfleet technology without the
express consent of the federation council
238
00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:49,811
is a breach
of regulations 498 and 756 of...
239
00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:52,438
And regulations 25, 15, 348.
240
00:12:52,522 --> 00:12:54,774
You're breaking 76
just for pointing that phaser at me.
241
00:12:54,857 --> 00:12:57,568
Fine. You know more regulations than me.
I still have to stop you.
242
00:12:57,652 --> 00:12:59,445
It's farm equipment, you idiot.
243
00:12:59,529 --> 00:13:01,406
- They're farmers.
- I'm not an idiot.
244
00:13:01,489 --> 00:13:03,491
You expect me to believe that...
245
00:13:03,574 --> 00:13:04,701
Shovel and hoe?
246
00:13:13,710 --> 00:13:15,211
Run, idiot!
247
00:13:24,178 --> 00:13:26,459
- What's it doing?
- It's shooting butt webbing at a tree.
248
00:13:26,514 --> 00:13:27,849
It looks pretty pissed.
249
00:13:27,932 --> 00:13:30,101
- Well, I hope you're happy.
- You left your post!
250
00:13:30,184 --> 00:13:33,563
Oh. I'm so sorry
I made sure that some humble farmers,
251
00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:36,607
who can't afford to wait
for starfleet bureaucracy to notice them,
252
00:13:36,691 --> 00:13:38,359
got some help so they didn't starve.
253
00:13:38,443 --> 00:13:40,278
How did you even know these guys exist?
254
00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:47,827
Because I was here for first contact
last year on the Quito
255
00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:50,455
before I got my ass demoted
and transferred to the cerr/tos.
256
00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:52,540
Well, I didn't know that.
257
00:13:52,623 --> 00:13:55,543
I have served on five ships, man.
I have seen stuff.
258
00:13:55,626 --> 00:13:57,920
One time, I got trapped in a sentient cave
for weeks.
259
00:13:58,004 --> 00:14:01,799
You ever been trapped in a sentient cave?
That's a dark place that knows things!
260
00:14:01,883 --> 00:14:04,302
I almost got my head taken off
by a singing crystal.
261
00:14:04,385 --> 00:14:05,720
I've been in a klingon prison
262
00:14:05,803 --> 00:14:08,765
where I had to fight a yeti
for my own shoes for no reason.
263
00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:10,308
He was just being a dick!
264
00:14:10,391 --> 00:14:13,436
- You've been on what, four planets?
- Five, if you include vulcan.
265
00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:16,123
Of course I don't include stupid vulcan.
You may as well count earth.
266
00:14:16,147 --> 00:14:17,607
I was counting earth.
267
00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:20,777
You don't know anything
except what's in your manuals.
268
00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:22,320
Since you can't think for yourself,
269
00:14:22,403 --> 00:14:25,083
how about you follow my lead,
and maybe we'll get out of this alive.
270
00:14:25,114 --> 00:14:28,034
Ensign boimler to cerritos.
Two for emergency tran... oh!
271
00:14:29,118 --> 00:14:30,495
Are you insane?
272
00:14:30,578 --> 00:14:32,997
We can't just beam out of here.
These guys need that animal.
273
00:14:33,081 --> 00:14:35,583
- Even if it eats us?
- General order 5!
274
00:14:35,666 --> 00:14:37,210
Fine! Okay. How about we stun it?
275
00:14:37,293 --> 00:14:39,420
- We'll just stun it.
- No, that could spoil the milk.
276
00:14:39,504 --> 00:14:41,184
- What milk?
- These guys probably milk it.
277
00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:42,548
Oh, like you even know.
278
00:14:42,632 --> 00:14:44,634
- Ooh. Take off your pants.
- Mariner.
279
00:14:47,095 --> 00:14:50,848
Five ships! Yeti shoes! I am always right!
Take them off now!
280
00:14:58,189 --> 00:15:01,609
Yes, it's working. Man, look at that thing
just tear into that dummy.
281
00:15:01,692 --> 00:15:03,152
Here we go. Get ready to jump.
282
00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:06,322
Wait, why isn't it attacking your uniform?
It's going to town on mine.
283
00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:08,449
- Random chance? Who cares? On my Mark.
- I care.
284
00:15:08,533 --> 00:15:10,785
I say we wait for it
to destroy both of our uniforms.
285
00:15:10,868 --> 00:15:12,495
Mark!
286
00:15:13,454 --> 00:15:15,873
Jump, boimler! It's safe.
It can't reach back this far!
287
00:15:15,957 --> 00:15:17,375
Man.
288
00:15:17,875 --> 00:15:21,212
Phaser it! Phaser it! Phaser it!
289
00:15:21,295 --> 00:15:23,423
Please don't phaser her.
It'll spoil the milk.
290
00:15:23,506 --> 00:15:24,715
Did you hear that?
291
00:15:24,799 --> 00:15:27,093
- I can't let it eat him.
- She's an herbivore.
292
00:15:27,176 --> 00:15:29,303
She's just gumming on him
to suckle out some moisture.
293
00:15:29,387 --> 00:15:30,388
Oh. Okay!
294
00:15:30,471 --> 00:15:32,056
Hey, Brad, good news, buddy.
295
00:15:32,140 --> 00:15:35,268
So, I ju... it's just suckling you,
I've just learned. You're fine.
296
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:37,728
Hang in there. You got this.
297
00:15:37,812 --> 00:15:40,273
It is getting tired,
so go to your happy place, like...
298
00:15:40,356 --> 00:15:41,941
Ooh! Think about the warp core.
299
00:15:43,985 --> 00:15:45,570
You, uh, want a snack or something?
300
00:15:45,653 --> 00:15:47,029
Yeah, you got any of that milk?
301
00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:50,116
All uninfected crew
meet at transporter room 8.
302
00:15:50,199 --> 00:15:51,742
We have to get to the rally point.
303
00:15:51,826 --> 00:15:53,953
I guess we better go for a walk.
304
00:15:57,206 --> 00:15:59,309
There's a maintenance hatch
on the other side of the saucer
305
00:15:59,333 --> 00:16:01,544
that should give us access to deck 8.
306
00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:03,296
What kind of music are you into?
307
00:16:03,379 --> 00:16:06,090
We have just enough oxygen to get there,
but we're cutting it close.
308
00:16:06,174 --> 00:16:10,052
I really like this classical band called
the monkees. Ever heard of 'em?
309
00:16:10,136 --> 00:16:12,555
Let's just say "I'm a believer."
310
00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:45,296
Wow. I wasn't expecting that.
311
00:16:45,379 --> 00:16:46,672
What did you expect?
312
00:16:46,756 --> 00:16:49,258
For these maintenance hatch doors
to recognize our combadges.
313
00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:52,553
Oh. No. I mean, what just happened.
314
00:16:52,637 --> 00:16:54,972
I'm more worried
about what didn't just happen.
315
00:16:55,056 --> 00:16:57,725
Failure analysis estimates the reliability
of this mechanism
316
00:16:57,808 --> 00:16:59,977
at one out of 4.69 repeating.
317
00:17:00,061 --> 00:17:02,271
- Ugh.
- Oh. Are you seeing this?
318
00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:07,985
The anesthetic is useless. We have to work
through the pain. Your hands clean?
319
00:17:08,069 --> 00:17:10,321
- Uh...
- Pump this. Don't pass out.
320
00:17:10,404 --> 00:17:12,615
Nobody's authorized to pass out!
321
00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:15,952
That's my heart!
It hurts when you pump it! Oh, god!
322
00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:18,788
- Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
- Oh, god! Oh!
323
00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:30,091
Okay! There we go, man. Yeah!
324
00:17:30,174 --> 00:17:32,093
See? I told you you'd be okay.
325
00:17:32,176 --> 00:17:34,095
My bones.
326
00:17:34,178 --> 00:17:35,906
You'll be fine.
Doc will wave a light over it.
327
00:17:35,930 --> 00:17:38,099
We gotta get back.
You took too long with that thing.
328
00:17:38,182 --> 00:17:40,268
But I'm naked.
329
00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:46,440
At least we got to help those guys.
330
00:17:46,524 --> 00:17:48,150
I think we make a pretty good team.
331
00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:50,778
You may as well know.
I've been monitoring you.
332
00:17:50,861 --> 00:17:53,489
I'm supposed to report
any breach of conduct to the captain.
333
00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:55,283
We've been serving together for a year,
334
00:17:55,366 --> 00:17:57,451
and I still don't get
why you worship those guys.
335
00:17:57,535 --> 00:17:59,455
- They're heroes!
- All they care about is glory,
336
00:17:59,495 --> 00:18:01,789
stuff that could earn them a mention
in the history books.
337
00:18:01,872 --> 00:18:03,749
- They don't really care about us.
- No way!
338
00:18:03,833 --> 00:18:06,877
The captain tries to support all of us.
She doesn't always have time to...
339
00:18:06,961 --> 00:18:09,881
I don't have to defend her. You're
not gonna talk me out of reporting you.
340
00:18:18,347 --> 00:18:20,266
Whoa. What the hell?
341
00:18:20,349 --> 00:18:22,602
Keep the door secure.
The crew depends on us.
342
00:18:22,685 --> 00:18:24,520
We can't let them down!
343
00:18:26,522 --> 00:18:28,322
I'm sure you're wondering
where my uniform is.
344
00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:29,437
Shaxs, what are my options?
345
00:18:29,483 --> 00:18:31,736
I recommend we detonate
the entire warp core, captain.
346
00:18:31,819 --> 00:18:32,820
What? No!
347
00:18:32,903 --> 00:18:36,365
We need to get this man to sickbay
immediately. He is very important.
348
00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:38,784
- What makes him so special?
- Nothing, he's worthless.
349
00:18:38,868 --> 00:18:40,661
It's the slime, captain.
350
00:18:40,745 --> 00:18:43,372
He's covered in slime
that could save us all.
351
00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:46,167
Everyone, protect this slime!
352
00:19:07,605 --> 00:19:08,814
Holy!
353
00:19:08,898 --> 00:19:12,026
This substance completely neutralizes
the rage effect.
354
00:19:12,109 --> 00:19:14,695
It came from this spider cow thing.
I can tell you all about it.
355
00:19:14,779 --> 00:19:17,490
But can you synthesize a cure, doctor?
356
00:19:17,573 --> 00:19:19,950
Hmm. I better. You don't have much time.
357
00:19:20,034 --> 00:19:22,495
- Should've washed those hands, captain.
- Stow it, mariner.
358
00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:28,834
What happened? Where am I?
359
00:19:28,918 --> 00:19:30,586
And did I eat flesh?
360
00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:31,671
Hardly any.
361
00:19:31,754 --> 00:19:33,089
How much did I eat?
362
00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:42,014
What?
363
00:19:42,098 --> 00:19:43,307
It's working!
364
00:19:43,391 --> 00:19:46,519
Looks like you'll get to publish
more award-winning research, doc.
365
00:19:46,602 --> 00:19:48,604
Great, more papennork.
366
00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:50,272
How much did I eat?
367
00:19:50,356 --> 00:19:53,901
This guy saved your asses. Ensign
Brad boimler. Put that in the papennork.
368
00:19:56,946 --> 00:19:58,280
Still, uh, happy to be here?
369
00:19:58,364 --> 00:20:01,617
Are you kidding? I got to hold a heart!
370
00:20:04,453 --> 00:20:08,207
Once again, solely thanks
to the brilliant efforts of doctor 7'94na,
371
00:20:08,290 --> 00:20:09,917
the crew is saved
372
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:12,128
undetected by the first contact team,
373
00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:15,923
the alien virus is exactly
the type of eventuality
374
00:20:16,006 --> 00:20:20,428
that can make a second contact mission
a life-or-death situation.
375
00:20:20,511 --> 00:20:24,265
Luckily, my senior staff
are always up for a challenge.
376
00:20:24,348 --> 00:20:25,349
End recording.
377
00:20:25,433 --> 00:20:26,934
Sorry about that, ensign bumford.
378
00:20:27,017 --> 00:20:28,769
- What do you have to report?
- Boimler.
379
00:20:28,853 --> 00:20:30,896
- Pardon?
- It's boimler, not bumford.
380
00:20:30,980 --> 00:20:33,482
What about mariner?
Did she follow protocol?
381
00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:37,361
Yeah, I think so. We spent the whole day
just adjusting the subspace comm array.
382
00:20:37,445 --> 00:20:40,740
This says you came back covered
in bite marks, wearing an alien frock.
383
00:20:40,823 --> 00:20:42,533
What, she had nothing to do with that?
384
00:20:42,616 --> 00:20:44,994
You know, I don't remember much.
385
00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:48,581
Maybe that goo that saved the ship
messed with my memory.
386
00:20:48,664 --> 00:20:50,332
Nothing insubordinate?
387
00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:52,626
- Not that I saw.
- Unbelievable.
388
00:20:52,710 --> 00:20:54,837
Thank you, ensign boimler.
389
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:55,921
Dismissed.
390
00:20:59,008 --> 00:21:03,304
Everything all right, captain Freeman 7
I heard you had some sort of rage virus 7
391
00:21:03,387 --> 00:21:05,139
ransom tried to eat a guy. We're fine.
392
00:21:05,222 --> 00:21:08,184
Listen. I've had enough.
I'm throwing her in the brig.
393
00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:10,811
We already tried that
/t doesn't work. She loves the brig.
394
00:21:10,895 --> 00:21:12,813
She undermines me in front of the crew.
395
00:21:12,897 --> 00:21:15,775
- I'm sure nobody notices.
- Yeah, they do.
396
00:21:15,858 --> 00:21:17,943
- Sweetheart, just...
- Don't you "sweetheart" me.
397
00:21:18,027 --> 00:21:20,780
We agreed. If she didn't fit in,
you'd send her back to the ouito.
398
00:21:20,863 --> 00:21:22,448
Well, she doesn't fit in.
399
00:21:22,531 --> 00:21:24,617
I gotta go. Admiral stufif love you.
400
00:21:24,700 --> 00:21:26,827
Don't you hang up on me.
She's your daughter too!
401
00:21:26,911 --> 00:21:28,013
- Hanging up.
- Don't you dare.
402
00:21:28,037 --> 00:21:30,798
- Finger's on the button. I'm losing you.
- Don't you... I said don't.
403
00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:33,459
Oh, no! Did the rage virus ruin your date?
404
00:21:33,542 --> 00:21:35,461
Nah, that stuff happens all the time.
405
00:21:35,544 --> 00:21:37,630
Oh, good!
So, was she as great as everyone says?
406
00:21:37,713 --> 00:21:42,176
Yeah. She was smart and pretty and, ooh,
highly effective in a ship-wide crisis.
407
00:21:42,259 --> 00:21:45,137
- So, tell me. Are you guys a thing?
- Yeah, I'm not seeing her again.
408
00:21:45,221 --> 00:21:47,723
You survived an epic,
life-threatening situation together.
409
00:21:47,807 --> 00:21:49,475
- Don't you share a bond?
- Oh, for sure.
410
00:21:49,558 --> 00:21:51,352
But she had zero interest in figuring out
411
00:21:51,435 --> 00:21:54,647
why a red alert overrode
maintenance hatch 70's access protocols.
412
00:21:54,730 --> 00:21:56,315
It's like, can you even imagine?
413
00:21:56,398 --> 00:21:58,567
I... I'm sorry, what?
414
00:21:58,651 --> 00:21:59,985
- It did?
- Yes!
415
00:22:00,069 --> 00:22:01,445
I mean, who has time for romance
416
00:22:01,529 --> 00:22:04,156
when there's a level-two diagnostic
just waiting to be run?
417
00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:07,409
Mm-mmm, don't have to tell me twice.
I am right there.
418
00:22:07,993 --> 00:22:09,870
- Mariner.
- Boimler.
419
00:22:09,954 --> 00:22:11,872
I wanted to thank you.
420
00:22:11,956 --> 00:22:14,500
It felt good helping those people.
I mean, you might be...
421
00:22:14,583 --> 00:22:16,252
Better than you in every single way.
422
00:22:16,335 --> 00:22:18,712
Unorthodox, but,
I can't believe I'm saying it,
423
00:22:18,796 --> 00:22:20,923
starfleet is better with you in it.
424
00:22:21,006 --> 00:22:22,883
Wait, so you didn't tattle on me?
425
00:22:22,967 --> 00:22:24,051
I did not.
426
00:22:24,802 --> 00:22:26,720
Boimler! What... uh! No way, man!
427
00:22:26,804 --> 00:22:28,305
I had you pegged wrong.
428
00:22:28,389 --> 00:22:30,516
Yeah, I thought you were
a boring worker drone.
429
00:22:30,599 --> 00:22:34,019
And you are, but inside that drone
is an ambitious little weasel,
430
00:22:34,103 --> 00:22:36,939
and inside that weasel
might be a tiny human being.
431
00:22:37,022 --> 00:22:38,524
That's, uh, sort of unfair.
432
00:22:38,607 --> 00:22:40,651
This is a moment, man.
Ooh. This is a mood.
433
00:22:40,734 --> 00:22:42,319
I do not care how long it takes,
434
00:22:42,403 --> 00:22:44,405
we're going to get your butt
in a captain's chair.
435
00:22:44,488 --> 00:22:46,824
- This isn't a big deal.
- Guess what? I'm your new mentor.
436
00:22:46,907 --> 00:22:48,450
Boom, surprise, bitch! It's done!
437
00:22:48,534 --> 00:22:50,744
- How does it feel?
- No, you can't just decide.
438
00:22:50,828 --> 00:22:52,764
- She's your mentor?
- Come on! Lower decks! Lower decks!
439
00:22:52,788 --> 00:22:54,057
- No, she's not.
- Congrats, man.
440
00:22:54,081 --> 00:22:56,292
- That's cool!
- Teamwork. Spirit! Community!
441
00:22:56,375 --> 00:22:58,854
- Go away. Leave me alone. No, don't...
- Lower decks! Lower decks!
442
00:22:58,878 --> 00:23:01,630
- You're gonna be my cha'dlch from now on!
- I don't want lessons.
443
00:23:01,714 --> 00:23:04,192
Klingons, they're all about fighting.
They're always making oaths.
444
00:23:04,216 --> 00:23:05,944
- Everyone knows that.
- You know about Spock?
445
00:23:05,968 --> 00:23:08,888
- Dude came back from being dead.
- Yeah, I think I've heard of Spock.
446
00:23:08,971 --> 00:23:11,223
He got Genesis-deviced
and fought Khan and space whales.
447
00:23:11,307 --> 00:23:13,451
- Can we go back to not being friends?
- How about sulu?
448
00:23:13,475 --> 00:23:16,121
He rocked a sword. That was his thing.
That could be your thing too.
449
00:23:16,145 --> 00:23:18,790
- We're due for a new sword guy.
- How can I make this stop?
450
00:23:18,814 --> 00:23:20,691
- Do you know kirk? Ll/ly man won'?
- Yes! Yes!
451
00:23:20,774 --> 00:23:22,735
- Gary Mitchell?
- I'm sure / could look him up.
452
00:23:22,818 --> 00:23:25,171
- You don't have to. You have a mentor.
- No. Don't touch me.
453
00:23:25,195 --> 00:23:27,239
Do you know Deanna troi?
Her body be bangin '/
454
00:23:27,323 --> 00:23:28,574
she went from a jumpsuit...
455
00:24:23,462 --> 00:24:24,880
Pew pew! Pew, pew, pew! Pew pew!
456
00:24:26,924 --> 00:24:27,925
Chirp.
36047
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