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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,883 --> 00:00:11,678 Captain's log, stardaz'e 574362. 2 00:00:12,429 --> 00:00:16,808 The cerritos is docked at Douglas station for routine maintenance and resupply. 3 00:00:17,601 --> 00:00:20,938 We will soon set course for the capital planet on the ga/ar system, 4 00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:22,940 where we 're scheduled to make second contact 5 00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:25,067 with the ga/ardon/an high counc/I. 6 00:00:25,150 --> 00:00:29,238 First contact is a delicate, high-stakes operation of dio/omacy. 7 00:00:29,321 --> 00:00:31,198 One must be ready for anything 8 00:00:31,281 --> 00:00:34,451 when humanity is interacting with an alien race for the first time. 9 00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:37,371 But we don't do that. 10 00:00:37,454 --> 00:00:40,707 Our specialty is second contact. Still pretty important. 11 00:00:40,791 --> 00:00:43,877 We get paperwork signed, make sure we spell the name of the planet right, 12 00:00:43,961 --> 00:00:47,172 get to know all the good places to eat... 13 00:00:47,256 --> 00:00:48,257 Oh, my god. 14 00:00:48,340 --> 00:00:50,300 - What are you doing? - Nothing. I'm just... 15 00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:52,052 Oh, no. No! 16 00:00:52,135 --> 00:00:55,764 - Are you pretending to do a captain's log? - We're all supposed to keep logs. 17 00:00:55,847 --> 00:00:58,267 - Okay. Let me listen to it. - No! Go away. Leave me alone. 18 00:00:58,350 --> 00:01:00,769 I can't believe you're wasting your shore leave on this. 19 00:01:00,852 --> 00:01:03,480 - Privacy, please! - Time to go. Get out of the little closet. 20 00:01:04,690 --> 00:01:07,025 - Are you drunk? - Yeah, dude. You should be too. 21 00:01:07,109 --> 00:01:10,028 I mean, this station is amazing. And they have romulan whiskey. 22 00:01:10,112 --> 00:01:13,323 I bet you thought it's green, but it's actually blue. It's very beautiful. 23 00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:16,201 - Romulan whiskey is against regulation. - Yeah, 'cause it's awesome. 24 00:01:16,285 --> 00:01:18,620 Oh, man, they got all sorts of great stuff. Ooh! Ooh! 25 00:01:18,704 --> 00:01:20,581 Come on. Check this out. 26 00:01:20,664 --> 00:01:22,583 - Be careful with that! - Pretty sweet, right? 27 00:01:22,666 --> 00:01:25,546 Yeah, it's a klingon bat... um, bat... I don't know. I'm not a scientist. 28 00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:28,171 Doesn't matter. Shut up. I got it from a guy with an eye patch. 29 00:01:28,255 --> 00:01:29,506 Come spar with me! Come on! 30 00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:32,301 We can be klingons. We can have crimped hair and wrinkled foreheads. 31 00:01:32,384 --> 00:01:34,970 - It's got crusty blood on it! - I love honor! 32 00:01:35,053 --> 00:01:37,014 - Stop! Stop! - I demand honor! 33 00:03:04,142 --> 00:03:05,143 Wow. 34 00:03:09,272 --> 00:03:10,524 Here we go. 35 00:03:10,607 --> 00:03:14,319 Ensign d'vana tendi reporting for duty. I'm a transfer from outpost 79. 36 00:03:14,403 --> 00:03:17,239 Deck 4. Follow the yellow line, take the turbolift all the way down. 37 00:03:17,322 --> 00:03:20,242 Thank you so much! Can I just say that I'm really honored to be... 38 00:03:20,325 --> 00:03:22,577 Keep it moving, lower decks. Next! 39 00:03:24,121 --> 00:03:27,124 Banana, hot. Banana, hot. 40 00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:28,792 Ah! Frickin' burned me. 41 00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:31,044 Uh, is there an ensign boimler here? 42 00:03:31,128 --> 00:03:33,046 - Banana, hot. - Ah, ah, ah, ah. 43 00:03:33,130 --> 00:03:34,464 Hi. Here. That's me. Ahoy. 44 00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:37,134 Ensign tendi reporting for duty. You're my orientation liaison. 45 00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:39,553 Yes. Welcome. Brad boimler, ensign, command division. 46 00:03:39,636 --> 00:03:42,681 Oh, my gosh! I've never worked with commanders before. 47 00:03:42,764 --> 00:03:43,932 I'm in sciences. 48 00:03:44,015 --> 00:03:46,143 I love science! Uh, it's so "science-y." 49 00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:48,186 That blue goes green with... I mean, great with... 50 00:03:48,270 --> 00:03:49,271 Yo, yo! What up? 51 00:03:49,354 --> 00:03:51,314 Beckett mariner, also an ensign, command division, 52 00:03:51,356 --> 00:03:55,360 but not quite as impressed with myself as this little rascal over here. 53 00:03:55,444 --> 00:03:58,780 We're not actual commanders, by the way. We're more like commanders-in-training. 54 00:03:58,864 --> 00:04:00,866 I can't believe we're gonna serve side by side. 55 00:04:00,949 --> 00:04:04,202 - Scientists and commanders, an elite team. - Yeah, no. We're not really elite. 56 00:04:04,286 --> 00:04:07,539 We're more like the cool, scrappy underdogs of the ship, you know? 57 00:04:07,622 --> 00:04:10,125 We don't wash our hands. We're doing kickflips all the time. 58 00:04:10,208 --> 00:04:11,960 But with focus and dedication, 59 00:04:12,043 --> 00:04:15,213 you could be chief medical officer someday. 60 00:04:15,297 --> 00:04:16,882 Oh. Senior officers are overrated. 61 00:04:16,965 --> 00:04:19,301 They're always stressed out and yelling about directives. 62 00:04:19,384 --> 00:04:21,344 It is better down here where the real action is. 63 00:04:21,428 --> 00:04:23,228 You really don't care about moving up in rank? 64 00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:25,140 Been there. Definitely over it. 65 00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:27,504 Whenever you think for yourself, they knock you back down. 66 00:04:27,559 --> 00:04:30,812 For someone who claims to hate rank, you certainly bring it up a lot. 67 00:04:30,896 --> 00:04:32,522 Yes, I'm very complicated. Thank you. 68 00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:35,692 - Ooh. You want the tour? - Of the... the ship? Uh, yes! 69 00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:38,653 - You don't like giving the tour. - True. But I do... 70 00:04:38,737 --> 00:04:41,656 Have a big box of shore leave contraband I need help with. 71 00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:44,749 The senior officers are all up here. 72 00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:47,412 Then you've got engineering, science stations, 73 00:04:47,496 --> 00:04:50,081 all sorts of ops around here. 74 00:04:50,165 --> 00:04:52,876 Ops, ops, ops, storage, ops... 75 00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:54,461 Actually, there's a ton of ops. 76 00:04:54,544 --> 00:04:56,713 It's like, "I think we have ops covered." 77 00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:57,881 And we're here? 78 00:04:57,964 --> 00:04:59,925 Well, no, we're actually way down here. 79 00:05:00,008 --> 00:05:03,053 What this map doesn't show you is that everything from this deck up, 80 00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:04,638 super lame, not important to us. 81 00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:06,601 - You like the bar. - Everything except the bar. 82 00:05:06,681 --> 00:05:07,682 And the bridge. 83 00:05:07,766 --> 00:05:09,351 - The bridge is not cool. - Yes, it is. 84 00:05:09,434 --> 00:05:11,937 Oh. Hey, that's rutherford. Rutherford! What's up? 85 00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:16,441 - Yo. Slow down. Is your thingy acting up? - Rutherford's an engineer. 86 00:05:16,525 --> 00:05:19,236 And as of a couple weeks ago, cybernetically enhanced. 87 00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:21,196 Ooh. I've never met a recent cyborg. 88 00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:23,406 - Nice to meet you. Welcome to the crew. - Wait. 89 00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:25,492 Don't you have a date with ensign Barnes tonight? 90 00:05:25,575 --> 00:05:26,576 Sure do. 91 00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:28,286 She's crazy hot. Are you nervous? 92 00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:31,498 Trying to be, but this thing keeps tamping it down. 93 00:05:31,581 --> 00:05:34,125 Yikes! Okay, you got it. Uh-oh. I'm nervous. 94 00:05:34,209 --> 00:05:37,021 What if I say something stupid? What if she doesn't like the way I look? 95 00:05:37,045 --> 00:05:39,589 I can only look one way! I can't change it by tonight! 96 00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:41,299 - Better? - Yeah. Thanks. 97 00:05:41,383 --> 00:05:43,694 What if she hates my jokes? I don't know any jokes. 98 00:05:43,718 --> 00:05:44,719 I'm gonna puke! 99 00:05:44,803 --> 00:05:45,804 What else? 100 00:05:45,887 --> 00:05:48,282 That's a room of switches and dials you'll never need to go into. 101 00:05:48,306 --> 00:05:50,350 It's actually a pretty important processing hub. 102 00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:52,519 Nobody knows what that room is. 103 00:05:52,602 --> 00:05:55,689 It's a pattern buffer maintenance access. She knows that. She's being funny. 104 00:05:55,772 --> 00:05:59,317 This is boimler's hidey-closet, where he pretends to be a captain like a big boy. 105 00:05:59,401 --> 00:06:00,610 This is not a good tour! 106 00:06:02,612 --> 00:06:04,531 So, yeah, we kind of sleep in a hallway. 107 00:06:04,614 --> 00:06:07,826 It's disappointing, but eventually, when you rank up, you get your own room. 108 00:06:07,909 --> 00:06:10,078 We're pretty close to the showers, which is nice. 109 00:06:10,161 --> 00:06:12,080 Does get kind of musty though, 110 00:06:12,163 --> 00:06:14,416 which is weird 'cause the showers are Sonic. 111 00:06:14,499 --> 00:06:16,710 Whoa. Whoa. 112 00:06:18,753 --> 00:06:20,714 It's perfect. 113 00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:23,925 Once you get settled, you should check in with nurse westlake in medical. 114 00:06:24,009 --> 00:06:26,770 - You'll be assisting him with some... - Let's check out the holodeck. 115 00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:28,043 She doesn't have time for that. 116 00:06:28,096 --> 00:06:29,856 - How do you know? - Because I'm her liaison. 117 00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:32,100 Oh, yeah? Then what time is it? And don't check. 118 00:06:32,183 --> 00:06:35,562 Because if she doesn't have time, then you should know what time it is. 119 00:06:35,645 --> 00:06:37,856 Othennise, you're just trying to sound important. 120 00:06:37,939 --> 00:06:39,774 So, what time is it? 121 00:06:40,525 --> 00:06:43,153 Welcome to the holodeck! Easily the best part of the ship. 122 00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:44,863 The warp core is the best part. 123 00:06:44,946 --> 00:06:47,908 Followed by the bridge, the photon torpedo tubes, cetacean ops... 124 00:06:47,991 --> 00:06:51,036 - The warp core is just a big glowing tube. - I love the warp core. 125 00:06:51,119 --> 00:06:53,038 - The warp core rules. - No, it doesn't. 126 00:06:53,121 --> 00:06:55,040 Computer, find us a beach in Hawaii. 127 00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:59,169 What is this? This stuff is crazy. 128 00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:01,922 - What does it do? - It gets everywhere and gives you a rash. 129 00:07:02,005 --> 00:07:03,214 You get a rash from sand? 130 00:07:03,298 --> 00:07:04,883 - What, you don't? - No. Nobody does. 131 00:07:04,966 --> 00:07:06,927 Oh, god. I always do. 132 00:07:07,010 --> 00:07:08,428 Go ahead. Take her for a spin. 133 00:07:08,511 --> 00:07:11,431 Computer, can you put us in the adashake center on Orion? 134 00:07:13,058 --> 00:07:15,810 Wow. I never made time to go before I enlisted. 135 00:07:15,894 --> 00:07:18,939 Pretty cool, right? You can go almost anywhere you can imagine. 136 00:07:19,022 --> 00:07:21,062 - Come on, boimler. Give it a whirl. - I don't know. 137 00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:23,360 Come on! There has to be somewhere you'd love to be. 138 00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:26,196 Um. Computer, show us the warp core. 139 00:07:27,530 --> 00:07:29,240 Wow! Amazing! 140 00:07:29,324 --> 00:07:31,701 What an impressive feat of engineering. 141 00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:33,662 You really bum me out sometimes. 142 00:07:33,745 --> 00:07:35,640 Ensign boimler, report to the bridge. 143 00:07:35,664 --> 00:07:36,998 You work on the bridge? 144 00:07:37,082 --> 00:07:38,458 Yeah, that's right. 145 00:07:38,541 --> 00:07:40,919 Because they appreciate people who follow the rules. 146 00:07:41,002 --> 00:07:42,420 Who's boring now? 147 00:07:42,504 --> 00:07:43,630 On my way. 148 00:07:43,713 --> 00:07:45,507 Wow. Does he get to go up there a lot? 149 00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:47,750 Nah. Just whenever someone spills a drink or something. 150 00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:51,137 Computer, load mariner program "all-nude olympic training facility." 151 00:07:51,221 --> 00:07:52,806 You might wanna back up a bit. 152 00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:57,727 Wow. This is a very detailed program. 153 00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:08,530 Farewell, commander. 154 00:08:08,613 --> 00:08:10,490 Thanks again for your hospitality, chancellor. 155 00:08:10,573 --> 00:08:13,368 We'll be sending construction teams down to help with the... 156 00:08:13,451 --> 00:08:16,871 To help with the subspace comm array as soon as we load up the supplies. 157 00:08:16,955 --> 00:08:19,249 Ransom to cerritos. Five to beam up. 158 00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:27,716 - Should you get that looked at, sir? - Eh. I'll be fine. 159 00:08:27,799 --> 00:08:29,092 Wanna grab a drink tonight? 160 00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:33,388 You know it. Nothing like a cold beer after a smooth second contact. 161 00:08:33,471 --> 00:08:35,015 Now that's what I'm talking about. 162 00:08:35,098 --> 00:08:37,308 Oh, yeah! 163 00:08:40,145 --> 00:08:42,063 Bridge. 164 00:08:48,820 --> 00:08:51,781 Ensign, what are you doing on the bridge? 165 00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:52,866 Sorry, what? 166 00:08:52,949 --> 00:08:56,036 I said, why aren't you at your post, ensign? 167 00:08:56,119 --> 00:08:57,579 Ransom, report. 168 00:08:57,662 --> 00:09:01,166 Coordination with the galardonian high council is ahead of schedule, captain. 169 00:09:01,249 --> 00:09:02,584 Excellent. Keep me posted. 170 00:09:02,667 --> 00:09:04,002 Ensign, you're with me. 171 00:09:08,506 --> 00:09:11,468 Brad boimler. Born modesto, California. 172 00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:14,054 Commissioned in '79. Not a single demerit. 173 00:09:14,137 --> 00:09:16,347 - You keep a personal log? - Sometimes five a day. 174 00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:17,557 That's excessive. 175 00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:19,434 Do you see a captain's chair in your future? 176 00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:20,685 I hope so, ma'am. 177 00:09:20,769 --> 00:09:22,729 Well, I see a lot of potential in you, son, 178 00:09:22,812 --> 00:09:25,398 which is why I'm giving you a special assignment. 179 00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:27,942 Really? I mean, of course, yes, whatever you need. 180 00:09:28,026 --> 00:09:29,819 Keep an eye on ensign mariner. 181 00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:33,198 If she breaks protocol, I want a full report. 182 00:09:33,281 --> 00:09:35,492 Sorry, ma'am. Is something wrong? 183 00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:38,119 I like my crew working in lockstep. 184 00:09:38,203 --> 00:09:40,497 There isn't any wiggle room on the cerritos, 185 00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:42,415 not when lives are at stake. 186 00:09:42,499 --> 00:09:44,250 - Do you disagree? - No, ma'am. 187 00:09:44,334 --> 00:09:45,960 Good. Dismissed. 188 00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:47,128 Ensign, 189 00:09:47,212 --> 00:09:49,547 let's keep this between us, shall we? 190 00:09:51,966 --> 00:09:53,384 What? Oh, man. 191 00:09:53,468 --> 00:09:55,553 I would kill to work on the deflector dish. 192 00:09:55,637 --> 00:09:57,847 Most of my day is spent repairing food replicators. 193 00:09:57,931 --> 00:10:00,159 - They break that often? - Only when you get food in 'em. 194 00:10:00,183 --> 00:10:02,783 At least you don't have to be around lieutenant commander billups. 195 00:10:02,852 --> 00:10:05,855 Knowing how to talk to women is kind of that guy's final frontier. 196 00:10:07,232 --> 00:10:08,232 That is illogical. 197 00:10:08,274 --> 00:10:10,443 Oh, sor... sorry. Is he a friend of yours? 198 00:10:10,527 --> 00:10:12,403 N-n-n-n-no. It's this vulcan implant. 199 00:10:12,487 --> 00:10:14,864 It keeps on randomly suppressing my emotional reactions. 200 00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:18,159 Sorry if this is making it weird. I'm just not used to being a cyborg yet. 201 00:10:18,243 --> 00:10:20,328 Actually, my dad was a cyborg. 202 00:10:22,997 --> 00:10:25,208 Shaxs drop his latte again? Guy's got baby hands. 203 00:10:26,376 --> 00:10:28,813 Computer, send me a suck-up to clean up my mess. 204 00:10:28,837 --> 00:10:31,172 I have a giant torso and little hands. Over. 205 00:10:31,256 --> 00:10:33,216 - Right? - Yeah. Hilarious. 206 00:10:36,177 --> 00:10:38,012 All right, people, you know the plan. 207 00:10:38,096 --> 00:10:40,849 Let's get this array set up so the, uh... 208 00:10:40,932 --> 00:10:44,936 "Galardonians" can communicate with the rest of the federation. 209 00:10:48,731 --> 00:10:51,192 Oh, man. This is really nice. 210 00:10:51,276 --> 00:10:54,904 I'm glad we got to sit down and get to know each other without any interruptions. 211 00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:15,091 - Set phasers to stun! - Oh, man! 212 00:11:16,426 --> 00:11:18,428 So, where are you quartered? 213 00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:21,472 Deck 9! By the squash courts. 214 00:11:21,556 --> 00:11:23,850 Someone brought a virus back from the planet. 215 00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:26,102 This is happening all over the ship. 216 00:11:27,812 --> 00:11:29,731 I've never played squash! Is it fun? 217 00:11:29,814 --> 00:11:31,482 We should play sometime! 218 00:11:36,779 --> 00:11:39,532 Oh, yeah. It's all gonna be over subspace. You're gonna love it. 219 00:11:48,249 --> 00:11:49,292 Unbelievable. 220 00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:58,593 Hey, you, green girl, strap patients down as they come in. 221 00:11:58,676 --> 00:12:01,804 Double them up if you have to. They aren't gonna infect each other twice. 222 00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:03,139 But, uh... 223 00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:05,767 Uh, I was actually supposed to be assisting nurse westlake. 224 00:12:05,850 --> 00:12:07,685 That is nurse westlake! 225 00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:12,106 Wow. It's such an honor to meet you, sir. 226 00:12:13,316 --> 00:12:15,068 I'm looking foward to working with you. 227 00:12:20,782 --> 00:12:22,200 Ah-ha! 228 00:12:22,283 --> 00:12:24,744 Boimler! Ugh! Don't jump out at people, for real, man! 229 00:12:24,827 --> 00:12:26,204 You're lucky I didn't phaser you. 230 00:12:26,287 --> 00:12:28,831 You're selling federation weapons to these guys, aren't you? 231 00:12:28,915 --> 00:12:30,959 - Yo, calm down. - No! 232 00:12:31,042 --> 00:12:33,419 I'm sick of you pushing me around! 233 00:12:33,503 --> 00:12:36,214 Explain yourself right here! 234 00:12:36,297 --> 00:12:39,217 Boims, shut up. Listen to me. You know nothing. Shut your mouth! 235 00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:41,928 Uh, we're just gonna take off... 236 00:12:42,011 --> 00:12:43,179 Nobody move! 237 00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:47,183 Selling starfleet technology without the express consent of the federation council 238 00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:49,811 is a breach of regulations 498 and 756 of... 239 00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:52,438 And regulations 25, 15, 348. 240 00:12:52,522 --> 00:12:54,774 You're breaking 76 just for pointing that phaser at me. 241 00:12:54,857 --> 00:12:57,568 Fine. You know more regulations than me. I still have to stop you. 242 00:12:57,652 --> 00:12:59,445 It's farm equipment, you idiot. 243 00:12:59,529 --> 00:13:01,406 - They're farmers. - I'm not an idiot. 244 00:13:01,489 --> 00:13:03,491 You expect me to believe that... 245 00:13:03,574 --> 00:13:04,701 Shovel and hoe? 246 00:13:13,710 --> 00:13:15,211 Run, idiot! 247 00:13:24,178 --> 00:13:26,459 - What's it doing? - It's shooting butt webbing at a tree. 248 00:13:26,514 --> 00:13:27,849 It looks pretty pissed. 249 00:13:27,932 --> 00:13:30,101 - Well, I hope you're happy. - You left your post! 250 00:13:30,184 --> 00:13:33,563 Oh. I'm so sorry I made sure that some humble farmers, 251 00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:36,607 who can't afford to wait for starfleet bureaucracy to notice them, 252 00:13:36,691 --> 00:13:38,359 got some help so they didn't starve. 253 00:13:38,443 --> 00:13:40,278 How did you even know these guys exist? 254 00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:47,827 Because I was here for first contact last year on the Quito 255 00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:50,455 before I got my ass demoted and transferred to the cerr/tos. 256 00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:52,540 Well, I didn't know that. 257 00:13:52,623 --> 00:13:55,543 I have served on five ships, man. I have seen stuff. 258 00:13:55,626 --> 00:13:57,920 One time, I got trapped in a sentient cave for weeks. 259 00:13:58,004 --> 00:14:01,799 You ever been trapped in a sentient cave? That's a dark place that knows things! 260 00:14:01,883 --> 00:14:04,302 I almost got my head taken off by a singing crystal. 261 00:14:04,385 --> 00:14:05,720 I've been in a klingon prison 262 00:14:05,803 --> 00:14:08,765 where I had to fight a yeti for my own shoes for no reason. 263 00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:10,308 He was just being a dick! 264 00:14:10,391 --> 00:14:13,436 - You've been on what, four planets? - Five, if you include vulcan. 265 00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:16,123 Of course I don't include stupid vulcan. You may as well count earth. 266 00:14:16,147 --> 00:14:17,607 I was counting earth. 267 00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:20,777 You don't know anything except what's in your manuals. 268 00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:22,320 Since you can't think for yourself, 269 00:14:22,403 --> 00:14:25,083 how about you follow my lead, and maybe we'll get out of this alive. 270 00:14:25,114 --> 00:14:28,034 Ensign boimler to cerritos. Two for emergency tran... oh! 271 00:14:29,118 --> 00:14:30,495 Are you insane? 272 00:14:30,578 --> 00:14:32,997 We can't just beam out of here. These guys need that animal. 273 00:14:33,081 --> 00:14:35,583 - Even if it eats us? - General order 5! 274 00:14:35,666 --> 00:14:37,210 Fine! Okay. How about we stun it? 275 00:14:37,293 --> 00:14:39,420 - We'll just stun it. - No, that could spoil the milk. 276 00:14:39,504 --> 00:14:41,184 - What milk? - These guys probably milk it. 277 00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:42,548 Oh, like you even know. 278 00:14:42,632 --> 00:14:44,634 - Ooh. Take off your pants. - Mariner. 279 00:14:47,095 --> 00:14:50,848 Five ships! Yeti shoes! I am always right! Take them off now! 280 00:14:58,189 --> 00:15:01,609 Yes, it's working. Man, look at that thing just tear into that dummy. 281 00:15:01,692 --> 00:15:03,152 Here we go. Get ready to jump. 282 00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:06,322 Wait, why isn't it attacking your uniform? It's going to town on mine. 283 00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:08,449 - Random chance? Who cares? On my Mark. - I care. 284 00:15:08,533 --> 00:15:10,785 I say we wait for it to destroy both of our uniforms. 285 00:15:10,868 --> 00:15:12,495 Mark! 286 00:15:13,454 --> 00:15:15,873 Jump, boimler! It's safe. It can't reach back this far! 287 00:15:15,957 --> 00:15:17,375 Man. 288 00:15:17,875 --> 00:15:21,212 Phaser it! Phaser it! Phaser it! 289 00:15:21,295 --> 00:15:23,423 Please don't phaser her. It'll spoil the milk. 290 00:15:23,506 --> 00:15:24,715 Did you hear that? 291 00:15:24,799 --> 00:15:27,093 - I can't let it eat him. - She's an herbivore. 292 00:15:27,176 --> 00:15:29,303 She's just gumming on him to suckle out some moisture. 293 00:15:29,387 --> 00:15:30,388 Oh. Okay! 294 00:15:30,471 --> 00:15:32,056 Hey, Brad, good news, buddy. 295 00:15:32,140 --> 00:15:35,268 So, I ju... it's just suckling you, I've just learned. You're fine. 296 00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:37,728 Hang in there. You got this. 297 00:15:37,812 --> 00:15:40,273 It is getting tired, so go to your happy place, like... 298 00:15:40,356 --> 00:15:41,941 Ooh! Think about the warp core. 299 00:15:43,985 --> 00:15:45,570 You, uh, want a snack or something? 300 00:15:45,653 --> 00:15:47,029 Yeah, you got any of that milk? 301 00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:50,116 All uninfected crew meet at transporter room 8. 302 00:15:50,199 --> 00:15:51,742 We have to get to the rally point. 303 00:15:51,826 --> 00:15:53,953 I guess we better go for a walk. 304 00:15:57,206 --> 00:15:59,309 There's a maintenance hatch on the other side of the saucer 305 00:15:59,333 --> 00:16:01,544 that should give us access to deck 8. 306 00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:03,296 What kind of music are you into? 307 00:16:03,379 --> 00:16:06,090 We have just enough oxygen to get there, but we're cutting it close. 308 00:16:06,174 --> 00:16:10,052 I really like this classical band called the monkees. Ever heard of 'em? 309 00:16:10,136 --> 00:16:12,555 Let's just say "I'm a believer." 310 00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:45,296 Wow. I wasn't expecting that. 311 00:16:45,379 --> 00:16:46,672 What did you expect? 312 00:16:46,756 --> 00:16:49,258 For these maintenance hatch doors to recognize our combadges. 313 00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:52,553 Oh. No. I mean, what just happened. 314 00:16:52,637 --> 00:16:54,972 I'm more worried about what didn't just happen. 315 00:16:55,056 --> 00:16:57,725 Failure analysis estimates the reliability of this mechanism 316 00:16:57,808 --> 00:16:59,977 at one out of 4.69 repeating. 317 00:17:00,061 --> 00:17:02,271 - Ugh. - Oh. Are you seeing this? 318 00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:07,985 The anesthetic is useless. We have to work through the pain. Your hands clean? 319 00:17:08,069 --> 00:17:10,321 - Uh... - Pump this. Don't pass out. 320 00:17:10,404 --> 00:17:12,615 Nobody's authorized to pass out! 321 00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:15,952 That's my heart! It hurts when you pump it! Oh, god! 322 00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:18,788 - Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. - Oh, god! Oh! 323 00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:30,091 Okay! There we go, man. Yeah! 324 00:17:30,174 --> 00:17:32,093 See? I told you you'd be okay. 325 00:17:32,176 --> 00:17:34,095 My bones. 326 00:17:34,178 --> 00:17:35,906 You'll be fine. Doc will wave a light over it. 327 00:17:35,930 --> 00:17:38,099 We gotta get back. You took too long with that thing. 328 00:17:38,182 --> 00:17:40,268 But I'm naked. 329 00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:46,440 At least we got to help those guys. 330 00:17:46,524 --> 00:17:48,150 I think we make a pretty good team. 331 00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:50,778 You may as well know. I've been monitoring you. 332 00:17:50,861 --> 00:17:53,489 I'm supposed to report any breach of conduct to the captain. 333 00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:55,283 We've been serving together for a year, 334 00:17:55,366 --> 00:17:57,451 and I still don't get why you worship those guys. 335 00:17:57,535 --> 00:17:59,455 - They're heroes! - All they care about is glory, 336 00:17:59,495 --> 00:18:01,789 stuff that could earn them a mention in the history books. 337 00:18:01,872 --> 00:18:03,749 - They don't really care about us. - No way! 338 00:18:03,833 --> 00:18:06,877 The captain tries to support all of us. She doesn't always have time to... 339 00:18:06,961 --> 00:18:09,881 I don't have to defend her. You're not gonna talk me out of reporting you. 340 00:18:18,347 --> 00:18:20,266 Whoa. What the hell? 341 00:18:20,349 --> 00:18:22,602 Keep the door secure. The crew depends on us. 342 00:18:22,685 --> 00:18:24,520 We can't let them down! 343 00:18:26,522 --> 00:18:28,322 I'm sure you're wondering where my uniform is. 344 00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:29,437 Shaxs, what are my options? 345 00:18:29,483 --> 00:18:31,736 I recommend we detonate the entire warp core, captain. 346 00:18:31,819 --> 00:18:32,820 What? No! 347 00:18:32,903 --> 00:18:36,365 We need to get this man to sickbay immediately. He is very important. 348 00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:38,784 - What makes him so special? - Nothing, he's worthless. 349 00:18:38,868 --> 00:18:40,661 It's the slime, captain. 350 00:18:40,745 --> 00:18:43,372 He's covered in slime that could save us all. 351 00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:46,167 Everyone, protect this slime! 352 00:19:07,605 --> 00:19:08,814 Holy! 353 00:19:08,898 --> 00:19:12,026 This substance completely neutralizes the rage effect. 354 00:19:12,109 --> 00:19:14,695 It came from this spider cow thing. I can tell you all about it. 355 00:19:14,779 --> 00:19:17,490 But can you synthesize a cure, doctor? 356 00:19:17,573 --> 00:19:19,950 Hmm. I better. You don't have much time. 357 00:19:20,034 --> 00:19:22,495 - Should've washed those hands, captain. - Stow it, mariner. 358 00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:28,834 What happened? Where am I? 359 00:19:28,918 --> 00:19:30,586 And did I eat flesh? 360 00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:31,671 Hardly any. 361 00:19:31,754 --> 00:19:33,089 How much did I eat? 362 00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:42,014 What? 363 00:19:42,098 --> 00:19:43,307 It's working! 364 00:19:43,391 --> 00:19:46,519 Looks like you'll get to publish more award-winning research, doc. 365 00:19:46,602 --> 00:19:48,604 Great, more papennork. 366 00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:50,272 How much did I eat? 367 00:19:50,356 --> 00:19:53,901 This guy saved your asses. Ensign Brad boimler. Put that in the papennork. 368 00:19:56,946 --> 00:19:58,280 Still, uh, happy to be here? 369 00:19:58,364 --> 00:20:01,617 Are you kidding? I got to hold a heart! 370 00:20:04,453 --> 00:20:08,207 Once again, solely thanks to the brilliant efforts of doctor 7'94na, 371 00:20:08,290 --> 00:20:09,917 the crew is saved 372 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:12,128 undetected by the first contact team, 373 00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:15,923 the alien virus is exactly the type of eventuality 374 00:20:16,006 --> 00:20:20,428 that can make a second contact mission a life-or-death situation. 375 00:20:20,511 --> 00:20:24,265 Luckily, my senior staff are always up for a challenge. 376 00:20:24,348 --> 00:20:25,349 End recording. 377 00:20:25,433 --> 00:20:26,934 Sorry about that, ensign bumford. 378 00:20:27,017 --> 00:20:28,769 - What do you have to report? - Boimler. 379 00:20:28,853 --> 00:20:30,896 - Pardon? - It's boimler, not bumford. 380 00:20:30,980 --> 00:20:33,482 What about mariner? Did she follow protocol? 381 00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:37,361 Yeah, I think so. We spent the whole day just adjusting the subspace comm array. 382 00:20:37,445 --> 00:20:40,740 This says you came back covered in bite marks, wearing an alien frock. 383 00:20:40,823 --> 00:20:42,533 What, she had nothing to do with that? 384 00:20:42,616 --> 00:20:44,994 You know, I don't remember much. 385 00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:48,581 Maybe that goo that saved the ship messed with my memory. 386 00:20:48,664 --> 00:20:50,332 Nothing insubordinate? 387 00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:52,626 - Not that I saw. - Unbelievable. 388 00:20:52,710 --> 00:20:54,837 Thank you, ensign boimler. 389 00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:55,921 Dismissed. 390 00:20:59,008 --> 00:21:03,304 Everything all right, captain Freeman 7 I heard you had some sort of rage virus 7 391 00:21:03,387 --> 00:21:05,139 ransom tried to eat a guy. We're fine. 392 00:21:05,222 --> 00:21:08,184 Listen. I've had enough. I'm throwing her in the brig. 393 00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:10,811 We already tried that /t doesn't work. She loves the brig. 394 00:21:10,895 --> 00:21:12,813 She undermines me in front of the crew. 395 00:21:12,897 --> 00:21:15,775 - I'm sure nobody notices. - Yeah, they do. 396 00:21:15,858 --> 00:21:17,943 - Sweetheart, just... - Don't you "sweetheart" me. 397 00:21:18,027 --> 00:21:20,780 We agreed. If she didn't fit in, you'd send her back to the ouito. 398 00:21:20,863 --> 00:21:22,448 Well, she doesn't fit in. 399 00:21:22,531 --> 00:21:24,617 I gotta go. Admiral stufif love you. 400 00:21:24,700 --> 00:21:26,827 Don't you hang up on me. She's your daughter too! 401 00:21:26,911 --> 00:21:28,013 - Hanging up. - Don't you dare. 402 00:21:28,037 --> 00:21:30,798 - Finger's on the button. I'm losing you. - Don't you... I said don't. 403 00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:33,459 Oh, no! Did the rage virus ruin your date? 404 00:21:33,542 --> 00:21:35,461 Nah, that stuff happens all the time. 405 00:21:35,544 --> 00:21:37,630 Oh, good! So, was she as great as everyone says? 406 00:21:37,713 --> 00:21:42,176 Yeah. She was smart and pretty and, ooh, highly effective in a ship-wide crisis. 407 00:21:42,259 --> 00:21:45,137 - So, tell me. Are you guys a thing? - Yeah, I'm not seeing her again. 408 00:21:45,221 --> 00:21:47,723 You survived an epic, life-threatening situation together. 409 00:21:47,807 --> 00:21:49,475 - Don't you share a bond? - Oh, for sure. 410 00:21:49,558 --> 00:21:51,352 But she had zero interest in figuring out 411 00:21:51,435 --> 00:21:54,647 why a red alert overrode maintenance hatch 70's access protocols. 412 00:21:54,730 --> 00:21:56,315 It's like, can you even imagine? 413 00:21:56,398 --> 00:21:58,567 I... I'm sorry, what? 414 00:21:58,651 --> 00:21:59,985 - It did? - Yes! 415 00:22:00,069 --> 00:22:01,445 I mean, who has time for romance 416 00:22:01,529 --> 00:22:04,156 when there's a level-two diagnostic just waiting to be run? 417 00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:07,409 Mm-mmm, don't have to tell me twice. I am right there. 418 00:22:07,993 --> 00:22:09,870 - Mariner. - Boimler. 419 00:22:09,954 --> 00:22:11,872 I wanted to thank you. 420 00:22:11,956 --> 00:22:14,500 It felt good helping those people. I mean, you might be... 421 00:22:14,583 --> 00:22:16,252 Better than you in every single way. 422 00:22:16,335 --> 00:22:18,712 Unorthodox, but, I can't believe I'm saying it, 423 00:22:18,796 --> 00:22:20,923 starfleet is better with you in it. 424 00:22:21,006 --> 00:22:22,883 Wait, so you didn't tattle on me? 425 00:22:22,967 --> 00:22:24,051 I did not. 426 00:22:24,802 --> 00:22:26,720 Boimler! What... uh! No way, man! 427 00:22:26,804 --> 00:22:28,305 I had you pegged wrong. 428 00:22:28,389 --> 00:22:30,516 Yeah, I thought you were a boring worker drone. 429 00:22:30,599 --> 00:22:34,019 And you are, but inside that drone is an ambitious little weasel, 430 00:22:34,103 --> 00:22:36,939 and inside that weasel might be a tiny human being. 431 00:22:37,022 --> 00:22:38,524 That's, uh, sort of unfair. 432 00:22:38,607 --> 00:22:40,651 This is a moment, man. Ooh. This is a mood. 433 00:22:40,734 --> 00:22:42,319 I do not care how long it takes, 434 00:22:42,403 --> 00:22:44,405 we're going to get your butt in a captain's chair. 435 00:22:44,488 --> 00:22:46,824 - This isn't a big deal. - Guess what? I'm your new mentor. 436 00:22:46,907 --> 00:22:48,450 Boom, surprise, bitch! It's done! 437 00:22:48,534 --> 00:22:50,744 - How does it feel? - No, you can't just decide. 438 00:22:50,828 --> 00:22:52,764 - She's your mentor? - Come on! Lower decks! Lower decks! 439 00:22:52,788 --> 00:22:54,057 - No, she's not. - Congrats, man. 440 00:22:54,081 --> 00:22:56,292 - That's cool! - Teamwork. Spirit! Community! 441 00:22:56,375 --> 00:22:58,854 - Go away. Leave me alone. No, don't... - Lower decks! Lower decks! 442 00:22:58,878 --> 00:23:01,630 - You're gonna be my cha'dlch from now on! - I don't want lessons. 443 00:23:01,714 --> 00:23:04,192 Klingons, they're all about fighting. They're always making oaths. 444 00:23:04,216 --> 00:23:05,944 - Everyone knows that. - You know about Spock? 445 00:23:05,968 --> 00:23:08,888 - Dude came back from being dead. - Yeah, I think I've heard of Spock. 446 00:23:08,971 --> 00:23:11,223 He got Genesis-deviced and fought Khan and space whales. 447 00:23:11,307 --> 00:23:13,451 - Can we go back to not being friends? - How about sulu? 448 00:23:13,475 --> 00:23:16,121 He rocked a sword. That was his thing. That could be your thing too. 449 00:23:16,145 --> 00:23:18,790 - We're due for a new sword guy. - How can I make this stop? 450 00:23:18,814 --> 00:23:20,691 - Do you know kirk? Ll/ly man won'? - Yes! Yes! 451 00:23:20,774 --> 00:23:22,735 - Gary Mitchell? - I'm sure / could look him up. 452 00:23:22,818 --> 00:23:25,171 - You don't have to. You have a mentor. - No. Don't touch me. 453 00:23:25,195 --> 00:23:27,239 Do you know Deanna troi? Her body be bangin '/ 454 00:23:27,323 --> 00:23:28,574 she went from a jumpsuit... 455 00:24:23,462 --> 00:24:24,880 Pew pew! Pew, pew, pew! Pew pew! 456 00:24:26,924 --> 00:24:27,925 Chirp. 36047

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