Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: {25}{175}Support us and become VIP member |to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org {322}{374}Hey! Wake up! {400}{533}My name's Florian Tomas.|This morning, my dick started talking to me. {538}{598}Hello! Wake up! {724}{817}Come on! From now on, it's all down to us. {822}{920}-Down to us? |-Yep, you and me. {970}{1035}From that day on, he never stopped talking. {1040}{1083}2 YEARS LATER {1312}{1408}You can ski down those tits! {1429}{1555}And you can wrap those legs |round your head three times. {1567}{1624}You have a problem, {1629}{1748}She looks keen,| Hey, we've hit paydirt! {1759}{1858}-You see girls as sex objects. | -And the problem is? {1863}{1946}There's more important things than sex. {1951}{2048}-Such as?|-Personality, for example. {2053}{2161}-I love girls with personality.| -Show me a girl with personality. {2166}{2253}She's got two handfuls of personality. {2258}{2366}-With a sense of humour?| -Let me see... {2371}{2452}She's got a good sense of humour. {2457}{2539}-You're unbelievable. |-Who? Me? {2555}{2633}-I'm your best friend.|-Or my worst enemy. {2638}{2754}-I'm a part of you. |-Save the girls from your filthy thoughts. {2759}{2855}-Then they'll willingly hear them.|-Not her. {2921}{3021}Her name is Maja Paradys. |That sounds almost like "paradise". {3026}{3144}She was so perfect, but there was a problem. {3149}{3295}She isn't interested in you. |Keep your shirt on, I'm stating a fact. {3300}{3416}I'm fed up with you always putting |me in awkward situations. {3421}{3571}-Would you, then? |- I wish only to have my dream girl. {3576}{3665}Poets would call her "the only one". {3670}{3741}Or rappers would call her "yo, bitch". {3746}{3861}-Go and talk to her.|-What if she won't talk to me? {3866}{3978}At least she'll talk to you. {3983}{4048}Are you crazy? |She's the new teacher! {4053}{4169}What's the big deal? I think it's time to cop a feel. {4174}{4268}Cop a feel? With her? | I'm going mad. {4273}{4431}Just grab her tits.| If she smiles, she likes it. {4458}{4494}After her! {4778}{4821}Skateboard! {4892}{4953}Quick, get behind her. {4958}{5062}-What if she doesn't smile?|-All women like it. {5177}{5263}When you're ready. |Start with her backside. {5356}{5446}-How do I do it?|-As though you were pushed. {5489}{5532}I'm sorry. {5537}{5638}Great! Now move up to the tits! {5768}{5839}-Hello, Florian.|-Hello, Miss Morgenstern. {5844}{5920}Did you see her smile? She loves it. {5925}{6004}Check if they're firm. {6151}{6201}That could have been acting. {6313}{6408}-Out the way, bitch.|-Don't call me bitch. {6413}{6515}I'll call you what I want. Just shut it. {6956}{7085}There's as much sex and violence| in girls' hockey as in video games. {7170}{7239}Great. Diane is hurt, so we are down a player. {7244}{7287}Pick me! Pick me! {7316}{7431}According to the rules, you've| got to cut your dicks off. {7572}{7676}The teacher? You must have been desperate. {7703}{7771}-What?|-Well? {7776}{7860}Her tits. Are they real or silicone? {7865}{7942}-Oh, real. | -No! {7967}{8021}Cough up. {8055}{8107}Go on, Maja. {8189}{8276}I dream about having a girlfriend like her. {8281}{8371}Then I would never look at other girls. {8861}{8921}Oh my God. Maja! {8982}{9056}With such a girl, one has no use for others. {9061}{9109}Kiss her now! {9355}{9400}Hello, Maja! {9405}{9460}Filthy Pig! {9567}{9627}According to your school report... {9632}{9729}...groping your teacher is not your usual behaviour. {9759}{9801}Florian... {9806}{9947}Ths is a typical male fantasy. {9952}{10047}The most common is fascination of breasts. {10052}{10171}Then comes womens' legs... {10176}{10263}.. and then an uncontrollable| admiration for women's feet. {10291}{10416}You might know that as foot fetish.| There is an effective treatment. {10421}{10487}-What? |-Castration. {10492}{10580}-What!? |-I'm kidding. {10585}{10668}A little sex therapist humour. {10673}{10797}I'll give you something to... |calm yourself down a bit. {10829}{10897}I wonder when she's |going to give a house visit. {11089}{11158}It has three speeds. {11286}{11387}It's the top of the range model with Kung Fu grip. {11403}{11459}Best of luck, Florian. {11467}{11597}When you reach the door, grab her. {11621}{11688}Those tits are calling me.| Go on! {11693}{11766}What about us? {11782}{11846}Take your medicine. {11997}{12043}Next patient. {12714}{12796}From now on, Maja and the other girls... {12801}{12875}... will associate Florian with sexual superiority. {12904}{12998}I once knew a gigantic girl. {13003}{13110}She told me that she always lit a match... {13115}{13220}...when it smelled like she'd been to the toilet. {13225}{13306}So every time I go for a dump... {13350}{13469}... I light a match.| So what's the big deal? {13474}{13556}-Dunno. | -I think about her. {13561}{13634}I take a crap at least once a day. {13639}{13746}S oI think about her every day. By association. {13772}{13833}What's that got to do with Flo and Maja? {13838}{13977}Flo kissed her and got a hard-on.| And Maja saw it. {14001}{14088}So each time she sees a hard-on,| she will think of Flo. {14093}{14141}That's ridiculous! {14146}{14248}It was obvious that she liked it. {14274}{14405}-Do you want to lose some more money?|-I'll bet anything. {14410}{14525}In one week, Maja will be falling at Flo's feet. {14530}{14600}-Agreed. |-Double or quits. {14605}{14737}If we win, you will stand in |the middle of town... naked. {14742}{14819}-No problem.|-She'll never do it. {14824}{14905}-Don't I have a say in this?|-No! {14910}{14967}What was that all about? {14972}{15076}I would never have put money on it,| if I thought it was Mission: Impossible. {15081}{15200}I have a perfect plan.|But first, how did you get on? {15245}{15303}I've got the solution here. {15338}{15387}You suppose it will work? {15456}{15530}Things like that never work. {15535}{15622}You have a tool in your trousers. {15627}{15700}Use it, otherwise people will get hurt. {15705}{15770}I've got a better idea. {15794}{15870}This has been passed down |from generation to generation. {15875}{15947}Guaranteed to relieve tension. {15952}{16027}Just look at those. {16072}{16138}-Incredible!|-Wow! {16352}{16405}How old is it? {16410}{16517}1953! That's old. {16546}{16641}-It's worth a go. |-You're right. {17026}{17092}It was really old. {17097}{17162}Old! This was an heirloom! {17185}{17210}Yes, but... {17215}{17327}These pictures have historical value. | They've probably saved me. {17332}{17480}Linda here has helped me |through many lovesick nights. {17485}{17597}They're not just pictures. |They're old friends. {17602}{17722}That's what I mean. |Suppose she was 25 in 1953. {17727}{17830}Now, 50 years later, she's 75 years old. {17835}{17881}If she's still alive. {17886}{17977}-That's sick.|-That's just the beginning. {17982}{18046}Suddenly it came to me... {18051}{18185}... that all those fantastic women |were old enough to be grandmothers. {18190}{18277}And so I thought about my own grandmother. {18282}{18381}What would she think sitting up in heaven... {18386}{18500}...looking down at her grandson - | trousers down and dick out... {18505}{18602}... staring at pictures of pensioners. {18607}{18675}You'd need a crane to get me up! {18705}{18816}Well then... | have another look at the pictures. {18949}{19005}-Is this Maja's house? |-Yeah. {19010}{19077}It's alright. {19082}{19189}The family need someone who |can look after grandma. {19194}{19231}It's perfect. {19236}{19342}Maybe she'll even see your charm. {19390}{19516}But I'm lying to her. |I should be more honest. {19521}{19574}Do you want her or not? {19672}{19757}You must be the new carer. Come in. {19799}{19859}Thanks for giving me the job. {19950}{20014}-You?|-Do you know each other? {20019}{20090}Then I'll leave you alone. {20158}{20270}-Why are you here?|-Grab her tits. {20292}{20339}-Don't say another word!|-What did you say? {20344}{20433}I'm here to look after your grandma. {20464}{20528}You of all people! {20555}{20626}Here's grandma's room. {20668}{20740}Call her "Miss Paradis". {20745}{20848}It's hard to tell that she'll be| 99 in a couple of days. {20853}{20959}-She's very sharp.|-I'll no doubt be able to cope. {20964}{21058}Make sure that she doesn't get any alcohol. {21063}{21121}She'll try to get you to get her some. {21126}{21187}Keep your hair on. {21192}{21304}If something like that goes wrong... {21309}{21371}...then it's over. {21529}{21586}Hello, grandma. {21653}{21748}Here's someone who would like to greet you. {21902}{21937}Come. {22305}{22416}Mrs... Miss Paradis, what are you watching? {22442}{22493}What's it to you? {22717}{22846}-Hi, my name's Florian Thomas.|-Have you got any beer? {22872}{22929}Beer is bad for you. {23025}{23104}But have some of this delicious soup. {23109}{23165}Is it beer soup? {23203}{23283}No, it's pea soup. {23465}{23520}Definitely pea soup. {23533}{23646}Get out of here. Unless you have beer. {23651}{23793}-That wasn't very nice.|-Don't let the door smack you on the backside on your way out. {23964}{24109}Let's get something straight.| We can do this one of two ways: {24114}{24217}The hard way or the easy way.|Your choice. {24242}{24274}Uh-oh. {24414}{24463}Is everything alright? {24541}{24645}-What happened?|-Nothing. {24650}{24788}Older prople need care. {24830}{24960}-They must be handled in a special way.|-How nice to hear you say that. {25089}{25192}You can have a wash in the| bathroom down the hall. {25197}{25257}Good idea. {25298}{25398}It's a bit hot, so I'm going| to put my bikini on. {25652}{25762}-That was quite obviously an invitation.|-What? {25767}{25884}-You will see her put on her bikini!|-You're crazy! {25889}{25996}A look through the keyhole won't hurt. {26001}{26095}Why else do you suppose she mentioned it? {26124}{26164}Closer. {26187}{26243}Show us what you've got, sweetie! {26449}{26615}-What's the matter with you?|-I, oh... was admiring the door handle. {26631}{26691}-Door handle?|-Yes. {26887}{26961}In three seconds I'm calling the police. {27098}{27165}"Wanda does Wuppertal" {27520}{27571}IN LOVING MEMORY {27858}{27964}I know that you say it's |unhealthy to masturbate. {27969}{28053}So you don't have to look. {28342}{28378}Not now! {28395}{28440}What? {28498}{28577}Shall I come back later? {28625}{28737}I've got dry hands, |so I want to put cream on them... {28742}{28805}I need some advice. {28869}{28935}What should I do?|Maja thinks I'm a Peeping Tom. {28940}{28992}She will not speak to me. {28997}{29130}-Then we musy go to plan B.|-Is it better than the first one? {29135}{29256}To win the fight,|one must infiltrate the enemy. {29261}{29397}-What's that got to do with Maja?|-She'll become crazy about you. {29429}{29491}NEW HOCKEY PLAYERS NEEDED!| WRITE YOUR NAME HERE: {29641}{29686}Who's Wanda? {29938}{29973}Hey! {30453}{30545}Who's Wanda?|I don't know a Wanda. {30550}{30648}-Ah well, she's not turned up.|-Here I am! {31471}{31533}Sorry I'm late. {31538}{31637}-You're Wanda?|-Yes... from Wuppertal. {33042}{33084}Yes! {33780}{33814}Wanda! Wanda! {33913}{33954}Cheers! {34227}{34289}You have a lovely backside. {34307}{34373}I'd like to give it a squeeze. {34378}{34441}Are you talking to me? {34446}{34532}You're the only one here with a backside| the size of Hawaii. {34537}{34618}I'd like to get on one knee| and make like a seal in the circus. {34791}{34885}-What did you say?|-You like it rough? {34962}{35084}-You're going to be sorry.|-You've really got balls. {35176}{35246}-You've got balls!|-Yup. {35431}{35477}Pussy power! {35482}{35552}Wanda! Wanda! Wanda! {35818}{35892}That's one round to Wanda? {35897}{35946}You're funny! {35951}{36057}Tell us about yourself. | Is there a man in your life? {36062}{36169}Yes. He's everything| a woman could wish for. {36174}{36274}You mean affectionate and| good at expressing his feelings? {36279}{36371}Yes. And he even sits through... {36376}{36463}...those silly romantic films with me. {36468}{36534}Like "Love Story"? {36561}{36647}-What's "Love Story"?|-It's so romantic! {36652}{36731}Imagine a couple wildly in love... {36736}{36833}... who must face up to a massive dilemma. {36838}{36918}-Then what? |-She dies. {36923}{37043}So romantic.| Thinking about it, it's his favourite movie. {37048}{37141}-He sounds fantastic.|- You must stay together. {37146}{37300}He's just a good friend. | He's in love with someone else. {37305}{37417}-Who is she? | -You! Isn't that strnage? {37422}{37519}Is that true? Who is he? {37524}{37621}-Florian Thomas. |-Florian Thomas? {37626}{37762}-Florian Thomas is so sexist. |-You don't really know him. {37796}{37880}Let me tell you about the real Florian Thomas. {38090}{38203}She's hot. Tell her you'll| tickle her between the legs! {38208}{38259}Shut up! {38329}{38468}-I think I might have been wrong.|-You'd better aplologise to him. {38473}{38570}-Yes.| -Let's drink to that! {38703}{38775}We are Str�er {38780}{38876}and we always win {38901}{38991}we'll make you cry| then spit you out {38996}{39068}and put you on the bench. {39147}{39201}Gotta go to the loo. {39317}{39405}-Well? |-It's a completely different world. {39410}{39515}It was divine. I was groping |more arses than a toilet seat... {39520}{39586}...and feeling plenty of tits. {39591}{39663}When girls go out, they're wild! {39668}{39770}-What about Maja?|-She'll be eating out of your hand. {39904}{39979}I don't want soup.| I want beer! {40141}{40187}I'm good as new. {40243}{40281}Hi. {40300}{40391}Thanks for giving me another chance. {40427}{40568}-How's grandma?|-She's a great little lady. {40624}{40718}How sweet. |Now grab hold of that round arse. {40822}{40921}-What's that? |-That's an unusual bird. {40926}{41009}-Are you an animal lover as well?|-Isn't everybody? {41047}{41167}This is Sebastian. |He is my father's pride and joy. {41172}{41277}-He's an Indonesian Cockatoo.| -Hello. {41348}{41472}You mustn't stick your finger in his cage. |He was only defending himself. {41477}{41584}-Is he always so agressive?|-Only when he's in his cage. {41589}{41724}He's as gentle as a lamb. |He's never bitten anyone before. {41729}{41773}Watch out! {41838}{41907}I'll find something to help. {41971}{42058}-This'll do.|-No! {42148}{42196}I'm sorry. {42288}{42337}Is this helping? {42342}{42426}It's not like Sebastian to do that. {42431}{42534}That's alright. He was only defending himself. {42539}{42653}-It was only what comes naturally.|-I agree wholeheartedly. {42687}{42757}If I could just get hold of... {42838}{42967}...the right people who could help us. {42984}{43095}I work at an organisation which|protects homeless animals. {43100}{43245}-That sounds really exciting. |-Oh yes. Actually, we have a meeting this evening. {43250}{43374}-Will you come with me?|-Yes, yes! Even better! {43382}{43460}Yeah, why not? {43575}{43637}I've found just the thing for you. {43722}{43791}"Blue Sea"?|What's that? {43796}{43895}Pure powdered oyster.| With no added preservatives. {43900}{44006}-What do I do with powdered oyster?|-It's an aphrodisiac. {44011}{44118}Put some of this on her food, |and she'll immediately think about sex. {44123}{44172}Sounds good to me. {44177}{44299}-I don't know...|-You've nothing to lose. {44304}{44397}She'll take the bait like a fish. {44402}{44486}-Are you sure it'll work?|-Yeah. {44579}{44700}Tipsy here's a perfect example| of what we're trying to achieve. {44705}{44808}He was found wandering the streets... {44813}{44905}...eating small birds. {44929}{45022}He was not himself, so depressed.... {45027}{45121}... that he only sat in the middle of the road... {45126}{45187}... waiting to be run over. {45207}{45312}But with your help... {45317}{45393}... he was put on an even| keel in only six weeks. {45398}{45509}With the help of psychoanalysis,| among other things. {45514}{45664}At this evening's animal auction, |Tipsy will find a loving new home. {45669}{45756}Profits from this evening go towards our work. {45777}{45830}-I'll fix this.|-What? {45835}{45916}I'll bid and raise the price. {45922}{46032}Right then. Can I start the bidding at 10 Euros? {46038}{46088}Ten Euros? {46093}{46226}10 Euros from the young man.| Any more bids? Sold! {46247}{46351}Sold to the young man down| there at the back. Congratulations! {46396}{46471}You won!| I'm so proud of you. {46476}{46562}I didn't think| you'd get the dog. {46567}{46616}Hey. {46709}{46814}-He certainly knows how to move.|-He's so happy. {46900}{46944}Florian... {46949}{47069}-That was really nice of you.|-It was nothing. {47074}{47181}When I saw him I knew| I had to do something. {47186}{47289}And all of a sudden, I knew what it was. {47446}{47492}Oh no! {47511}{47577}-You must do something!|-Tipsy! {47607}{47647}Tipsy! {47805}{47874}-I daren't look|-Shit! {48179}{48234}You did it! {48239}{48296}Florian! {48843}{48889}Get lost! {48988}{49042}-Hello.|-Hello. {49047}{49163}-Is Wanda home?|-She's asleep. {49168}{49272}I'll tell her you were here. I'm her brother. {49325}{49394}Well, she forgot this yesterday. {49399}{49454}Thanks. {49459}{49560}-I didn't know she had a brother.|-We're twins. {49565}{49644}We wanted to invite Wanda to a party. {49649}{49675}A party? {49680}{49764}It's going to be| fun, no boys. {49769}{49803}Interesting. {49808}{49960}It's a tradition, it promises to be really wild. {49965}{50018}Sounds like fun. {50023}{50150}Last year we got so drunk, |we woke up naked the next day. {50175}{50289}-It was really crazy.|-Sounds exciting. {50294}{50348}Wanda? {50353}{50471}I'll go and get her.|Come in. {50497}{50630}Wanda? Wanda?| She's a heavy sleeper. {50674}{50756}Sit down. {50761}{50897}-Are we disturbing you?|- I was just watching a video. {50902}{50992}-What film?|-"Love Story." {50997}{51082}-Really?|-Yes. {51087}{51210}I'll go up and send Wanda straight down. {51386}{51440}-Wanda? |-What is it? {51445}{51534}-Your friends are waiting for you.|-Ok. {51584}{51621}Oops. {51963}{52009}-Know what?|-No. {52014}{52087}-I owe you an apology.|-What for? {52092}{52194}I thought that you were| just like all the other boys. {52199}{52310}-They think about nothing but sex.|-What's the problem? {52315}{52336}Me? {52341}{52475}Why did you behave so badly| with Miss Morgenstern? {52480}{52590}-Actually...|-Quick! Make something up! {52595}{52678}I get a bit dizzy now and then. {52690}{52756}I remember only that I reached out... {52761}{52839}...and then I had hold of her. {52859}{52995}-Lucky you never got hurt.|-Yes, it was. {53034}{53098}I think I'm a bit lucky too. {53103}{53196}Me too! Great! {53345}{53431}This isn't "Love Story". {53777}{53854}Hi, girls.|-Hi, Wanda. {53908}{53974}Let's party! {54030}{54119}-I need to go to the toilet.|-Ok. {54181}{54289}-I like her.|-Should we go after her? {54294}{54387}Calm down! |You're not going to wreck this evening. {54392}{54507}Don't worry.| Your success is my success. {54632}{54773}-Put some oyster on her food.|-Hold on! It's going well without it. {54778}{54925}You're not going to lose her.|Do it just to make sure. {54930}{55010}Ok, just a bit. {55125}{55246}More! That wouldn't light a lamp. {55319}{55357}That's better. {55362}{55428}-I'm starving.|-Bon appetit. {55433}{55485}What's that? {55545}{55652}-It must be cheese.|-Yeah. {55838}{55942}Delicious!| It tastes good with cheese on. {55991}{56059}-Want a taste?|-No, thanks. {56217}{56273} {56379}{56494}I've never been to a bar just for ladies. {56636}{56723}-Good idea.|-Yes, this place is a tradition. {56728}{56803}Here's to tradition. {56880}{56981}Why didn't you say that Red Bull was your brother? {57038}{57134}-So dumb.|-He's really disgusting. {57139}{57260}He's really a straightforward guy. {57282}{57373}And really sexy. Honest! {57387}{57474}-And he knows so much|-About what? {57479}{57521}About... {57526}{57647}...tha ancient art of satisfying a woman sexually. {57652}{57714}-Really?|-Yes! {57719}{57787}He knew the Kama Sutra| off by heart when he was ten... {57792}{57870}... and tantric sex when he was 15. {57875}{57964}And the other day he was learning taoism. {57969}{58072}-What's that?|-The man satisfying the woman. {58077}{58213}He must go for a week until he can orgasm. {58218}{58342}-Are men like that real?|-Sounds too good to be true. {58347}{58414}Yes, and you know what? {58419}{58527}If he wasn't my brother,| i'd roll in the hay with him. {58650}{58757}-Okay, Wanda. Are you ready?|-Ready for what? {58775}{58846}It's a surprise. {58851}{58921}I love surprises. {58926}{59005}Maybe I've got a surprise for you as well. {59053}{59150}-There you go!|-I'm ready for the surprise! {59321}{59360}Oh boy. {59365}{59524}-People are always pre-judging me.|-I know all about that problem. {59529}{59664}-Peolpe judge me as well|-Why? {59669}{59795}People think I'm stuffy because| I don't have a boyfriend. {59800}{59874}It's just not true. {59879}{59972}I want to find the right guy first. {59977}{60065}You know, really be in love with him. {60070}{60101}Yes... {60106}{60206}I think a serious relationship |ought to have three things: {60211}{60348}-First, honesty.|-Yes, honesty is most important. {60353}{60450}-Fidelity is equally important.|-Yes. {60510}{60622}-What's the third thing?|-No sex before marriage. {60673}{60736}Only joking! {60766}{60825}You walked into that. {61883}{61929}Look out! {62138}{62180}Wanda... {62197}{62292}-I'm sorry.|-It was nothing. {62297}{62363}I'm not like the other girls. {62368}{62465}It's just an initiation for new girls. {62470}{62541}-Some initiation.|-Wanda... {62546}{62645}I promise we'll |never do that again. {62816}{62942}You handled that well.|You really got him up. {62947}{63089}I've never seen a stipper get so hard before. {63109}{63188}It made me really horny. {63297}{63344}Horny? {64723}{64769}About time. {64907}{64958}Come to papa. {65061}{65130}Come back with my money! {65216}{65293}-It's so romantic here.|-Yeah. {65298}{65360}More powdered oyster! {65368}{65420}Put some in her glass! {65430}{65577}it would be even more romantic| to see a shooting star. {65620}{65655}More! {65660}{65728}-I can't see one.|-More! {65733}{65812}-There's one.|-Where? {65903}{66014}When you see a shooting star,| you can make a wish. {66019}{66113}-Have you got a wish?|-Yes. {66118}{66229}-What is it?|- Your nose... {66234}{66338}Oh, no, so embarrassing. {66484}{66560}I hope I'm not coming| down with something. {66566}{66693}Excuse me.| Were there any seashells in the food? {66780}{66818}No. {66823}{66915}Good, because I'm allergic to seashells. {66974}{67115}-What, like oysters?|-Oysters are the worst. {67120}{67187}When I was little, I all but died from oysters. {67232}{67324}Oh no.| I'm sorry. {67452}{67539}Well, I'm not | going to let it wreck dinner. {67552}{67622}-Cheers!|-Wait! {67803}{67846}Call a doctor! {67890}{67923}Hey! {67977}{68017}There she is. {68022}{68082}I've paid for her. {68633}{68706}-She's mine! |-Not in front of the customers. {68884}{68958}That's what I've paid for. {70738}{70809}I've got bad news. {70852}{70917}-Can I be honest?|-Yes. {70922}{71052}There's nothing we can do.| We can only wait. {71086}{71192}If she survives, she'll be a vegetable. {71197}{71266}-Oh, no!|-If she survives. {71271}{71377}She will slowly lose |herself over the next few days. {71382}{71441}-It's all my fault. |-Yes... {71462}{71571}I know it's a difficult decision, Mr Miller. {71576}{71604}Hmm? {71609}{71706}-I'm not Miller!|-Oh...sorry. {71873}{71916}Well, hello! {72052}{72156}Now we're alone, there's |no harm in copping a feel. {72161}{72301}-Why did you say that?|-She surely needs a bit of care. {72309}{72444}-Should I get in with her?|-No! Just be nice to her. {72673}{72753}She needs a massage. {72758}{72859}Start with the boobs.|She'll like that. {73246}{73290}See for yourself. {73600}{73761}-Why did you give me powdered oyster?|-I can explain. {73820}{73887}Don't bother. {73913}{73967}Go away. {74088}{74161}Easy come, easy go. {74166}{74253}Shut up so I can think! {74258}{74357}-What about that nurse with the big tits?|-That's enough! {74401}{74478}-Excuse me.|-That's alright. {74598}{74717}-After her!|-No! I love Maja. {74722}{74803}Listen to yourself.| She really hates you now. {74808}{74922}You can beg her for forgiveness,| but you won't get any sex. {74927}{75032}Or you can be a man| and chase destiny. {75224}{75263}Halleluja! {75307}{75404}Want something? Come in. {75529}{75585}Let's talk about it. {75590}{75719}I'm not sure I want this. {76753}{76818}You are so dumped. {76911}{76944}What? {77142}{77218}-Can we talk?|-So talk. {77223}{77322}-Will you untie me?|-No. {77372}{77423}Wait. {77514}{77590}I've never felt like this for anyone before. {77614}{77710}I'm so in love with you, that I'm behaving crazily. {77750}{77882}Blame me, for I'm the one to blame. {77887}{77956}And I carry the can for that. {78005}{78097}If I could only win your trust. {78102}{78230}It's now or never. I accept that. {78248}{78349}-So you were trying to kill me?|-That wasn't my intention. {78354}{78416}I didn't think you'd like me. {78421}{78506}So I used powdered oyster. {78511}{78604}-It's an aphrodisiac.|-Not for me. {78609}{78714}Sorry. |Can you forgive me? {78719}{78804}You did that for me? {78997}{79070}You look really silly lying there. {79592}{79654}Will you come to a party with me? {79774}{79905}Maja's grandma's 99th birthday| is a perfect chance to... {79910}{80012}...impress her family and friends. {80017}{80146}But you don't want to come before Maja. {80160}{80202}Just a minute... {80234}{80292}-There you go! |- What's that? {80297}{80379}-A Plastic Pussy|-A what? {80384}{80441}Plastic Pussy. Look! {80446}{80508}Ewww. It's got a beard! {80513}{80606}It's easy to use.| Just stick it in and pump. {80611}{80685}It's easier than riding a bike.| And lots more fun! {81054}{81116}-Hi.|-Hi. {81121}{81253}-You look great.|- Thanks. So do you. {81379}{81516}-What's that you've got in your hand?|-My hand? {81521}{81622}-Nothing.|-Yes, you have. {81661}{81716}There you are! {81761}{81858}Come here! He's been following you. {81929}{81996}I thought we'd lost you. {82103}{82148}Tipsy! | Tipsy! {82200}{82276}We must find him, before he finds my father. {82281}{82361}He's so allergic to dogs. {83189}{83245}You'll disgrace yourself. {83250}{83395}If you keep masturbating, |you'll grow hairs on your palms. {83789}{83839}You still watching "Love Story"? {83922}{83957}Nooo.... {83962}{84028}Go get your sister. {84077}{84114}Ok. {84724}{84781}Hi, sweetie. {84913}{84966}Dad, this is Florian. {84971}{85053}-Pleased to meet you.|-Likewise. {85123}{85209}-I'm sorry.|-That's alright. {85231}{85331}Strange. There's no dogs around, is there? {85427}{85468}No. {85567}{85665}-I'm sorry, Florian.| - No problem. {85859}{85903}We must find Tipsy. {85908}{86009}-Maja! Florian! | - Hello, Mrs. Paradys. {86093}{86153}This is my sister, Eve. {86171}{86272}-Not bad.|-Let's party! {86295}{86363}Do you want a drink, Florian? {86445}{86537}-She's such a slut.|-Really? {86549}{86669}-Good evening, Maja.|-Hi. You can put them in the hall. {86674}{86731}Where's your grandmother? {86736}{86857}She doesn't drink. Alcohol gives her wind. {86862}{86935}Let's find Tipsy. {87137}{87227}-Is there a lot of alcohol in the drinks?|- Yes. {87683}{87808}We should do this again. What about tomorrow? {87817}{87921}-I haven't had this much fun for a long time.|-Me neither. {88018}{88085}Michelle's got a nice arse. {88148}{88227}I'm so jealous. {88340}{88422}The water in the pool is nice and warm. {88427}{88507}Then it's time for skinnydipping! {88554}{88601}Come on! {88648}{88699}Swim? {88704}{88754}-Tipsy.|-Tipsy. {88793}{88854}-Tipsy.|-Tipsy. {89004}{89130}-Can you get some ice from the garage?|-Yes, Mrs Paradys. {89352}{89407}A Ferrari! {89423}{89536}My father would swap me, my |mother and his birds for that car. {89550}{89612}I'll just polish it. {89843}{89936}We should get the ice... {90012}{90064}The freezer door's open. {90172}{90238}It's defrosted. {90310}{90388}Sorry, but you look so funny. {90393}{90463}Kiss her.|That'll work. {90704}{90806}Perfect timing!|Grab her arse. {90822}{90909}Maja...in the last few days... {91006}{91116}About time. Tell her to keep going. {91121}{91231}-That's great.|-What is? {91264}{91316}Yeah, just like that. {91413}{91483}Tipsy!. {91762}{91867}Good dive, Louise.|Nice one, Michelle. {91872}{91939}-Silke, toodle-oo!|-Toodle-oo! {91952}{92053}-Silke, bet you can't do a hanstand in the pool. {92122}{92200}My mistake! {92205}{92254}Come in, Wanda. {92259}{92408}I haven't the figure for it, and I can see from here. {92564}{92603}Help! {92873}{93010}Wands, I didn't know your boobs were so big. {93129}{93203}I've got water in my bra! {93442}{93556}-What's going on?|-Flo had a mishap. {93652}{93701}With ice cream. {93855}{93905}Bless you, Dad. {93930}{94043}There's got to be a dog around here. {94147}{94262}-Let's use the bathroom upstairs.|-Ok. {94306}{94406}-Where can Tipsy be?|-Ohmigod, where's my plastic pussy? {94411}{94455}Your what? {94619}{94679}What have we here? {95156}{95231}-Hello.|-Oh my god, thank you! {95236}{95334}-I'll take those.|-They're mine! {95388}{95518}-Let me introduce myself.|-However did they get so dirty, young man? {95523}{95624}It was a little mishap.| Can I have them? {95644}{95779}-Someone's getting excited.|-I'm not excited. {95784}{95881}-So what's that?|-There you go! {96205}{96290}Hello.|Maja, your girlfriends are here! {96321}{96381}Oh, hello. {96410}{96514}I've brought Wanda.| Is that alright? {96519}{96569}Come in. {96703}{96753}Where's your boyfriend? {96849}{96937}Wait! What are you doing? {96965}{97030}Use your imagination. {97189}{97247}I'm sorry I disturbed you. {97252}{97307}Maja! Wait! {97312}{97367}Forget her. {97372}{97448}But I love her! {97645}{97703}-Shit!|-Where were we? {97836}{97931}-Open up! I need the toilet!|- Oh, my god! It's grandma! {97936}{98049}If she sees us here,|she'll have a heart attack! {98063}{98138}-You must hide.|-In there? {98158}{98243}Open up!|I can't hold on much longer! {98253}{98311}-What about this?|- Keep it. {98316}{98393}Open the damn door! {98469}{98518}Come out! {98716}{98753}Urgh! {99336}{99413}Know what I imagine? {99418}{99529}That a man would come| and rip my clothes off {99534}{99603}-and give me a regular seeing-to. {99647}{99774}No crap. A bit of honesty would be refreshing. {99780}{99841}-You agree?|-Yeah. {99910}{100014}Your brother, Red Bull, sounds like the type. {100019}{100121}The type that knows |what a woman wants. {100170}{100237}Pity he's not here. {100344}{100397}Oh! How clumsy of me! {100402}{100465}Be right back! {100490}{100581}-Let's find aunt Eve.|-Shut up! {100663}{100796}-At last!|-Blocked. Where's the toilet plunger? {101120}{101163}Watch out! {101750}{101843}-What's up, Maja?|-Wanda. {101894}{101996}-Men are pigs.|-What happened? {102001}{102141}I surprised Florian with |my aunt in the toilet with a vibrator. {102158}{102243}Really?| I mean, really? {102268}{102394}Men are nothing but| faithless, sex obsessed pigs! {102435}{102522}Yes, boys will be boys. {104286}{104389}Silke! I didn't expect| to see you here. {104394}{104498}Your sister and I have |just been talking about you. {104503}{104559}How strange. {104605}{104679}Where is she? {104684}{104802}It would be refreshing if I just said what I felt. {104807}{104868}Felt? {104926}{105075}I don't say much, |but I know what a woman wants. {105131}{105275}So I'll rip your clothes off| and give you a good seeing to. {105298}{105352}Pig! {105633}{105690}There you are, Florian. {105695}{105840}-Have you seen Maja?|-No, but you must help me. {105859}{105929}Let me just find Maja first. {105934}{106050}Would you be so good as to |sit in the room with Grandma? {106055}{106214}She's had rather too much to drink,|so don't give her any more. {106340}{106402}We trust you. {106470}{106513}Thanks, Florian. {106715}{106810}Miss Paradys, |can I sit here? {106917}{106971}Miss Paradys? {107619}{107680}I can explain... {107818}{107889}I mean... {108015}{108067}Come on. {108157}{108254}Shes just a bit tired.|Come on, grandma. {108319}{108366}No! {108497}{108541}Tipsy, no! {108807}{108920}-Out of my house!|-Give me a beer. {109178}{109214}Out! {109428}{109471}Florian. {109497}{109549}-Maja, I...|-Wait. {109554}{109620}Let me just say something first. {109666}{109819}At first I thought you were sexist,|but then I got to know you. {109824}{109949}I thought that you really loved me. {109954}{110047}But then I found you with my aunt. {110077}{110186}We've misled each other before,| and I'm not perfect myself... {110191}{110257}...but why pretend. {110432}{110486}Aunt Eve will eat you up. {110538}{110628}You're hopeless. I'll never see you again! {110694}{110770}Great, let's go get aunt Eve. {110775}{110878}That's the last time you |fuck things up for me! {111124}{111171}What now? {111294}{111421}-You wouldn't.|-You are a monster. {111433}{111500}Can't we find another way? {111505}{111566}No!| You've ruined everything. {111574}{111720}It's your fault I nearly| poisoned the girl I love. {111725}{111877}And if that wasn't enough,| you got me together with her aunt! {111882}{111941}In her own house! {111946}{112014}-That was an accident.|- No it wasn't. {112019}{112139}You just want to have sex.| Every single day. All day! {112149}{112252}-Where's the harm in that?|-My life is ruined! {112257}{112327}Without Maja I have nothing. {112332}{112450}If I can't have Maja, I don't want you. {112455}{112552}I can change! |Give me a chance! {112557}{112641}-It's too late.|-Say goodbye! {112646}{112675}Hold on! {112680}{112736}Stopp! {112810}{112865}Is it...? {112870}{112931}I'm still here. {113080}{113133}I heard everything. {113291}{113368}Maybe we can find a use for him. {113668}{113725}Don't you like me? {113750}{113833}No...I mean... {113878}{113952}Maja, I love you. {114019}{114072}It's just... {114096}{114175}I'll be back in a moment. {114305}{114442}What's wrong? |Isn't this what you wanted? {114447}{114542}Not just with one girl. {114547}{114608}I'm too young for monogamy. {114613}{114704}-Just give me peace for a year.|-Three months. {114711}{114761}-Eight months.|-Five months. {114766}{114831}-Six months.|-Six months? {114836}{114911}Okay, but just six months. {115322}{115414}-Hello!|-Wow! {115708}{115813}-You owe me an apology|-Yeah... {115842}{115911}-Are you still angry?|-I've thought things over. {115916}{116017}Your behaviour wasn't that bad, after all. {116035}{116146}-Wasn't it?|-You were just being honest, weren't you? {116151}{116181}Yes. {116186}{116305}How's the reading going? {116310}{116353}Reading? {116358}{116454}-Wanda told me about it.|- Well... {116484}{116605}Its the Chinese way...|Also called the Taoist method. {116732}{116818}Talk Chinese to me, you dog! {117533}{117596}What's the surprise? {117601}{117665}You'll see in a minute. {117671}{117749}We've got something for your information. {117906}{118034}-It's their favourite film.|-That's so romantic. {119053}{119100}Jenny is dead. {119157}{119204}I'm sorry. {119289}{119400}Love means never having to say you're sorry. {124101}{124143}I'm sorry. {124148}{124215}-How is my mother?|-What's her name? {124220}{124268}-Muller|-Ah... {124544}{124618}Translated from Norwegian (badly)| by marknotgeorge. {124644}{124744} {124769}{126269}Please rate this subtitle at www.osdb.link/3ammc|Help other users to choose the best subtitles36108