All language subtitles for Home_Delivery_(2005)_WEB-DL_high_(fzmovies.net)_acac8269760c60706536a0d9d17

"God said, whenever I call"

"He will come for me"

"No matter how far"

"He will come for me"

"And God said whenever I call"

"He will come for me..."

No, it's like this.

"He will come for me"

"He will come for me..."

No, it goes like this.

"Come for me"

"He will come for me..."

Listen carefully.

"Come"

"Come for me"

Anju, darling, relax.
Come on, let's take a break.

-Bye, ma'am.
-See you tomorrow.

-Bye. See you. Bye.
-Bye, ma'am.

-Bye. Bye.
-Bye, ma'am.

Bye. See you.

-Anju, darling.
-Yes, ma'am.

Darling.

You know our school is celebrating Diwali
for the first time tomorrow, right?

So...

No, please.
My brother Sunny is coming tomorrow.

I want to give him a surprise. Please.

But, darling, your singing...

Okay. Why don't you sing
another section? Okay?

No, ma'am. Please let me.
I'll practice all day.

I'll sing well. Please, Sunny is coming...

Okay. You're going to sing, okay?

But, Anju, I didn't know
you had a brother.

Yes! Sunny!

Really? And what does he do?

Sunny is the you-know-who!

What?

He's a... He's...

'The One Who Knows.'
He is 'The One Who Knows.'

Sunny is 'The One Who Knows.'

"Everything and everyone
Is an open book to me"

"I'm watching everything you do
So you better tread carefully"

"Everything and everyone
Is an open book to me"

"I'm watching everything you do
So you better tread carefully"

"'The One Who Knows'"

"Take it easy, I'm here now"

"'The One Who Knows'"

"Ask me anything you need to know"

"'The One Who Knows'"

"Take it easy, I'm here now"

"'The One Who Knows'"

"Ask me anything you need to know"

"Guess who runs the show?
I play by my own rules"

"I can do as I please
The world is my personal playground"

"There is nothing that I can't get"

"It's like wishes"

"Waiting for me to grant them"

"Hey, people, who am I to you?"

"'The One Who Knows'"

"Yeah, take it easy, I'm here now"

"'The One Who Knows'"

"Ask me anything you need to know"

"'The One Who Knows'"

"Take it easy, I'm here now"

"'The One Who Knows'"

"Ask me anything you need to know"

"'The One Who Knows'"

Good going, Sunny Chopra.
You're definitely a writer!

What the...

Hey, Naani. Naani!

Naani, my love, my life.

Why can't we get this floorboard fixed?

Not "we," you!

It will be fixed the day
you call for repairs.

What? Me? When? How? Why?

Excellent, Naani! This is all I need.

Quiet. Come here.

What?

Thank you.

Listen.

-Listen.
-Now what?

-Hey! What was that?
-Do not keep making fun of God!

Making fun?

Me?

At least I'm not half naked
when talking to God.

Hey, look. P3P claims his ninth victim,

Ms. Monica Martini.

P3P. Page three psycho.
After scaring the hell out of people,

with his pen-shaped knife,

stabbed Monica Martini seven times
last night.

Why seven?

-What?
-Why seven? Why not nine?

She is the ninth victim,
so it should have been nine stabs...

How would I know?
Maybe he got tired after seven stabs.

Here, take a look. Page three is empty.

People are scared to see their pictures
on page three.

Look at how they are hiding their faces.

They're afraid if P3P sees their picture,
they will be killed.

The reward to catch P3P is ten lakhs.

Cool. Let's go and catch him immediately.

Oh, how I wish that we get the ten lakhs.

That's good. You keep dreaming.

TIMES OF HINDUSTAN

GYAN GURU SPEAKS

But, Naani, you are a Christian.

So why are you so excited about Diwali?
You have different beliefs.

That's the way I am, Sunny.
I believe in everything.

If you don't believe in Diwali,
at least let others believe.

No, Naani! Don't touch my table!

Pass me the cups.

I love you, my mess.

Naani, what are you doing?

Yes. Except for you,
the whole world celebrates Diwali.

-And you know the whole world?
-Yes.

Okay.

Naani, do you know Tatsuhiro Kuroda?

Yes.

Okay.

Sunny, don't you have to write
your script?

I can manage, Naani.
And Mr. Kuroda celebrates Diwali?

-Yes.
-Okay.

-Do you know Francois Ula Lalu?
-Yes.

And Mr. Ula Lalu celebrates Diwali?

Of course. Finish your work.

And Ping Tong Pahad?

Of course. I met him last month,
he also celebrates Diwali.

You're lying, Naani. You're such a liar.

There is no one called Ping Tong Pahad.

Liar. You're the president
of the liar society.

You're a super deluxe liar!

Hello?

Yes, Karan.

Yes.

Yes.

The logic is very important.

That's very crucial. Keep that in mind.

Don't worry. I have already solved it.
Yes, sure. Tomorrow?

Sure. I'll meet you tomorrow and explain.
Okay, bye.

And I'm the super deluxe liar?

Gokhale.

Dear, Naani. My brain is tired.

Don't feel like writing?
Why don't you help me?

Good idea, Naani.
Shall we go to the bedroom?

My brain is working now.

I can't do this.

List?

Gokhale, is Sunny...

Is Sunny on leave again?

Call him.

Gokhale.

Hello, Gokhale. I'm very sick.

I will have to go to the hospital.

I'm suffering from jaundice, malaria,
STD, ISD, and a lot more.

-Sunny?
-They need me Naani, I don't need them.

Tell me. Is it a must to be married?

I mean, why should we complicate our lives

with all these crappy rules
made by society?

Because these are followed by the world.
Simple.

Rubbish. It's hypocrisy.

Do you know how many married people
write to me every day?

Just one lifetime seems like a hundred
Trust me

Is that why they say
marriages are forever?

Really, 'The One Who Knows'?

So, Naani, tell me.

-Do you want to get married?
-Yes.

So why did you pause before saying yes?

No way.

-You did.
-No, Naani. I...

Don't lie, Sunny.

Trust me, Naani.
I'm telling the truth. I'm not lying.

He is lying! Everything has a limit.

-Has he been coughing for two weeks?
-Yes, ma'am.

What yes? Get me his leave records.

Hey, how sweet. Your cousin Rajiv
has sent me a thank you card.

He got the job.

Job? What job?

At a call center.
My friend Suchitra is the manager there.

Isn't it great?

Why, Naani?
Why did you bother to get him a job?

If he really needed help,
he should have gone to

his Dad or his high-flying relatives.

Will 'The One Who Knows' have some coffee?

Yes.

When I needed help,
was there anyone around? Tell me, Naani.

-Everyone ran away at that time.
-I just arranged for an interview

he got the job on his own effort.

-Rajiv is a very sweet guy.
-Yes, sure.

Naani, for you, everybody is sweet.

Anyone can just smile and ask for help.
Naani, please help me.

Wonder woman Naani
will do anything to help him.

Sunny, what's wrong with helping anyone?

I think I did the right thing.

The right thing?

It's like a goat standing outside
the butcher shop and saying...

I kinda like this shop,
I will shop here today.

-So what should I do? Say no?
-Yes, Naani. Say no.

Genius! No...

Repeat after me. Say it with me. No...

-Naani, let's go to the bedroom?
-No, Sunny.

Exactly! No. Fantastic Naani, brilliant.

-The phone, Sunny. The phone is ringing.
-Naani.

I was serious.
Naani please let's go to the bedroom.

Hello. Dad. How are you?

Yes.

Sunny is out right now.

Yes. The interview is in the evening.

Sunny, have some coffee.

-What?
-What?

What was he saying?

Dad was asking if he can take
a ride with us tomorrow.

-And?
-And I said yes.

No, Naani. What did I teach you just now?

Call him and say no. Make up an excuse.

If you had to make an excuse,
you should have taken the call.

How the hell do I know who is calling?

But I thought you knew everything, Sunny.

Thank you, Naani. Thank you.
This is all I needed.

I'm hungry.
There was some special pizza offer.

Hey, Sunny.
Why don't you talk it out with your Dad?

Why? Who is he?

Sunny, at least don't talk about
your Dad that way. He loves you a lot.

Love? What love? Who loves?

Forget it.
Where did this love suddenly come from?

Now that I am 'The One Who Knows.'
Suddenly there is love.

There is Karan Johar.

Do you think these are the reasons
everyone loves you?

Yes.

-Me, too?
-Yes. No. I mean, it's only you who...

And Anju?

Yes. Just you and Anju.

And Dad?

-For how long have you known my Dad?
-Three years. He loves you a lot.

Twenty-eight years, Naani.

For him, the only right thing
is what he knows.

As if everyone else around is an idiot.

See? At least there is one thing
you have inherited from Dad.

Bad joke, Naani. That's not funny.

Hey, Sunny. This is a good joke. Listen.

The latest advice from 'The One Who Knows'
He says...

Avinash,
if you are having problems at home,

running away from them is not a solution.

You can leave your home and go,

but this will not make you happy. Ever.

Because it's only our family
that stands by us in difficult times.

You hypocrite. You can preach the word,

-but can't practice it yourself.
- I don't buy what I sell, Naani.

That's a very sad
and third-class philosophy, Sunny.

Such is life, Naani. Such is life.

Imagine. If someone comes around
and makes you buy your own advice.

Sell my advice to me?

There is no one like that on this earth.

Why don't you talk to your god?
To send someone from up above.

Happy Diwali.

-Hello, sir.
-Hello, dear.

-Happy Diwali.
-Happy Diwali.

What can I do for you, sir?

Wow! You make all these?

Pizza, large, small, medium, pineapple...

-As a Diwali special...
-White bread, brown bread...

Onion bread, garlic bread...

My wife Rama says at the end of the day,

everything is bread and vegetables.

Like 'Masala Dosa.' Bread and vegetables,

but a little different.
Do you sell 'Masala Dosa'?

-Sir?
-'Masala Dosa'?

Sorry, sir, we only sell pizzas here.

Oh, pizzas! Like vegetable sandwiches!

Bread and vegetables, but different.

Do you sell vegetable sandwiches?

No. sir. We only sell Italian food,
what people eat in Italy.

Italians don't eat vegetable sandwiches?

I'm sure they do, sir,
but we don't sell them. I'm so sorry.

-What do you want, sir?
-I want a job.

Sorry, sir?

A job.
I came to meet your manager Mr. Jose.

Dippy Uncle sent me.

Oh, so sorry, sir,
Mr. Jose has left for the day.

-You'll have to come back tomorrow.
-But Dippy Uncle said...

Excuse me, sir.

Hello, Mommy's Pizza!

Yes. Your address?

Okay. Thank you.

One large Super Special to go.
Time starts now.

A sprinkle of magic

A pinch of joy

A smattering of laughter

A dash of love

-A sprinkle of magic
-A pinch of joy

-A smattering of laughter
-A dash of love

Mixed into the sauce
Spread on the bread

-Dressed with some cheese
-Baked in the oven

And it's ready to eat

This pizza

The pizza

That satisfies not just your appetite
But also your heart

This pizza

The pizza

That satisfies not just your appetite
But also your heart

Give this to Rama. Don't worry,

by tomorrow all will be sorted.

But Dippy Uncle, it's Diwali in two days.

If the world can be created in six days,

then a lot can happen in two days.

Don't worry.
Everything will be okay before Diwali.

"Rawalpindi"

"Rawalpindi"

GOD BLESS ALL

Run. I'll cover for you.

Hey, Gungunani, why are you crying?

-Has someone died? Go!
-Your Father has died, you mutt!

-Wait, who is that for?
-202.

202? Okay.

Yes, he must have died from
hearing you sing.

-Son of a prostitute!
-Hello, Candies?

I'm calling for 201 Rosa Villa.
Cancel my food order.

It was some rolled foil crap.

Happy Diwali, sir. Here is your pizza.

Oh, thank you.

Sir! The bill, sir. It's 265 rupees.

-What bill?
-For the pizza, sir.

But you are five minutes late.
And as per your rules...

It's free of cost after 30 minutes.
So it's free!

No, sir. There is still two minutes to go.

Listen, trainee... Trainee?

-What's your name?
-Pundorikakhshya Purokayastha, sir.

-What?
-Pundorikakhshya Purokayastha...

-Come again?
-Pundorikakhshya Purokayastha...

Yes, okay.

-Do you know what this is?
-A watch, sir?

It's not just a 'mere watch,' Pundu.
It's an Omega.

And who wears an Omega?

-Who, sir?
-James Bond. Dude...

And Bond only has moments
to save the world.

If Bond's watch is a second,
just a second late...

Then that's it. End of world. Finished!

What do you think Pundu?
Would Bond let the world end

by wearing a 'mere' watch?
No, Pundu. No. Never.

If you're not five minutes late,

then how come we are alive?

-But, sir...
-Pundu?

-Do you know who I am?
-No, sir?

What the? Wait.

Now?

The One Who Knows! I had written to you
about my inflamed pimples...

Yes. I remember. Now tell me, Pundu.

Would I lie to you for 265 rupees?

Sunny, you do this every time!

-Hey, nice shirt, buddy.
-Thanks.

I haven't even worn it once.
Would I lie to you for 1800 rupees?

I paid you yesterday.
Would I lie to you for 100 rupees?

-Sunny, pay that boy...
-Naani, the bell!

Saved by the bell, Sunny
Saved by the bell

Saved by the bell, Sunny

Sunny, it's Pandey. Please open the door.

I'll just change.

Shit. It's Karan.

Hi, Karan. Yes.

I was working on your script only.

-How do you do Sunny?
-Hi, how do you do?

Yes. Let's discuss it tomorrow.
Let's work on it with a fresh mind.

Yes. I have solved that issue.

It's okay, Pandey.
Feel free to eat my pizza.

Yes, Karan. Yes. Tomorrow evening, then.
Okay, bye.

-Sunny, not evening. Afternoon.
-Not evening. Afternoon.

Pandey, what are you doing in my house?

Man, can you not get the one
with extra cheese?

Forgive me, Pandey.

Next time I won't even buy toothpaste
without your consent.

Okay.

Pandey, what are you doing in my house?

That man is crying again.

What? Why didn't you say that before?

Okay, Pandey. Get ready because any...

Sunny, the future is in chocolate pencils.

Plus, I have an interview... What?

The future lies in chocolate pencils.

Kids today face too much tension
from studying.

They keep biting their nails.
I say, give them chocolate pencils.

Instead of nails,
they'll bite their pencils...

In an exam, whether they answer
their papers or not.

They'll bite up to at least
10 to 15 pencils, see?

So why don't you bite a pencil
instead of my pizza?

That's a very good joke,
but this is no time for jokes.

I have it all planned out.
I'll get the money, you do the marketing.

You make the ad.
I also have an idea for the ad.

A huge school, with lots of kids

all sitting and biting their nails.
And the camera...

Stop. Please, Pandey. Forgive me.
Have mercy on me.

See? I'm not worthy of
your brilliant ideas.

-No, but...
-No, I'm a misfit.

I don't have the balls.
I have only one solution for you.

Thank you.
Please find a woman for yourself.

Anyone, from anywhere.
And that will solve all our problems.

But you know I'm a celibate.

Pandey, please eat your pizza.
It's mine, but never mind.

Just like this house is mine,
but never mind. This TV is also mine...

Yes,
but this chocolate pencil idea is mine.

Hey, Naani, what are you doing?
Mr. Pandey, I will be back.

-Are you crazy?
-Sunny, this is not right.

One joke is the limit.
After that it becomes a habit!

But Naani, when it happens to me?

What the...
www.facebook.com/film1india

What the...

Eighty rupees?
It didn't even connect properly.

-But, sir, it's in the bill.
-What the...

-I don't have five rupees change.
-What the...

What rubbish, Sunny!

Sunny is right. The psycho egg seller...

Excuse me,
seven out of the 12 eggs are bad!

So why are you complaining to me?
Talk to the chicken.

What the...

"Rawalpindi, Rawalpindi"

What the...

-Trust me Naani, I know it.
-How?

What do you mean how?

Come on Naani. I am 'The One Who Knows.'

It's my job to know it all.

The 'Times Of Hindustan'
sells only because of me.

Sunny, who reads 'Times Of Hindustan'?

-I do.
-Thank you, Pandey.

Thank you. Please have one more pizza.

Whether inflamed pimples
or the secrets they

hide from their wives,
to the girlfriends they have on the side.

For any advice they need so badly,

People look up to me and listen carefully.
Why?

Because what is right and what is wrong...

I know it all.

Yes! He knows it all.

And for proof, one, two, three, four...
And there's the bell.

Pandey, ready!

-Good evening, Sunny.
-Good evening, Gungunani.

Good evening, Kalavati.

I hope I'm not disturbing you
in your work.

No, Gungunani.
In fact, I'm very happy to see you.

Tell me, what can I do for you?

Sunny, your toilet is overflowing again.

I was deeply engrossed in my singing
when two drops fell on my head

and rolled down from my forehead.

Oh, my god. I'm so sorry.
I will be back in a second.

Really?

Gungunani, I'm really ashamed.

Sunny, don't apologize to him.

Just break his face,
so he that he doesn't sing again.

You left him loose.

Please forgive me. He's crazy.

He should be tied up.

Gungunani, forget about him. You know...

I have changed my toilet tap many times.

-Really?
-Yes.

But I think there is something
magical about your singing.

-Really?
-Yes.

-Do you think so?
-Yes.

-"Rawalpindi..."
-Gungunani.

Gungunani. Not here. Please.

Okay.

Whenever you start singing,
the tap just comes alive.

And the water starts to flow,

as if God himself has turned it on.

You know, the drops also fall right
on my forehead, like a blessing.

-Really?
-Yes.

It's a miracle.

In the olden days, Tansen
could make it rain with his singing.

No. You can't be serious.

Yes. Music has amazing powers.
It can even make it rain...

Yes, your singing makes my eyes rain.

Shut up, you ignorant imbecile.
What the hell do you know?

This is the pure form
of Raag Afgani Lohar.

Oh, shut up. If this is Raag Afgani Lohar,

then I'm the King of Japan
and Sunny is an African Gorilla.

What?

Shut up, moron. An imbecile like you
should be whipped naked on the road.

And a rotten singer like you

should be hung upside down on a tree
and taught singing.

Now, does shouting and fighting
like this suit you, gentlemen?

Gungunani, please carry on
with your practice.

With your permission.

And Pandey, you too, please.

Pandey, forget about being a celibate.
Just find a woman for yourself.

Did you see his reaction?

God is blessing him with toilet water.

He is amazing.

Sunny, are you a kid?

No.

Do you want proof?

Sunny, you'll be late for your interview.

Let's see.
Go to bed, or go to the interview?

-Bed, bed, bed!
-Interview.

But, Naani, in the night,
I'll have no control.

I'll be at Aunt Thelma's tonight.

What are you saying, Naani? What is this?

Not now. Not tonight.
All this happens after marriage, right?

So let's practice from now on.

What rubbish are you talking, Naani?

So you still have a chance.
Do you want to get married?

-Yes.
-See? You paused again.

No.

-You did.
-No.

Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to another live edition

of Hot Seat with Hitesh.

Hot Seat with Hitesh welcomes you all.

Thank you. Thank you so much.

Today, we will present two
very special guests for you.

One who raises big problems,
especially for us men.

Especially for us men.

And the other one has a solution
to all our problems.

Ladies and gentlemen,
here's a glimpse of our first guest.

No. You can take my body,
but not my heart.

I don't want your heart.

Leave me! You can take my body,
but not my heart.

But I don't want your heart.

You can take my body, but not my heart.

Shut up! Get it in your head.
I don't want your heart, okay?

Ms. Maya, thank you so much
for being on the show.

You're welcome.

Please, please sit down.

Well, Maya, you look very beautiful.

You have been a mystery for all of us.

People want to know so much about you.

You have done amazing films,
and regional films too.

You also speak Hindi so well.
You are from South India, right?

Whether it's South India or North India,
first and foremost, I'm an Indian.

Actually, I'm from Canada.

No?

Yes. I was only one year old
when I came to Mumbai.

Sir, you're here.
Have you been here a while, sir?

-No, I just...
-I'm so sorry, sir.

Let me introduce myself, sir.
I'm Mr. Boltu, sir.

-Boltu?
-Boltu, sir. Spot!

Excuse me, sir.

Idiot! Why didn't you inform me
that he has arrived?

No...

Your pen, sir. Sorry, sir. Let's go.

And I was only 13 years old
when I signed my first movie.

It's a South Indian movie with Mr. Vijay.
It had a fantastic dance sequence.

It was a big hit, my first film.

Come, sir.

-Is Hrithik here?
-No, sir.

What?

-Sir, actually, what happened...
-Hrithik didn't come?

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir. I'm sorry.

-The Ms. Maya?
-Yes, sir.

-Cleavage Queen, Ms. Maya from South?
-Yes, sir.

"The body sways
The mind swings"

"Cuckoo, cuckoo
The heart sings"

"The body sways
The mind swings"

"Cuckoo, cuckoo
The heart sings"

Don't you remember the action?
It's like this.

"Cuckoo, cuckoo
The heart sings"

Maya!

Yes! Maya!

"The body sways
The mind swings"

"Cuckoo, cuckoo"

What a boring film, buddy. But Ms. Maya?

Wow, Ms. Maya...

"Cuckoo, cuckoo
The heart sings"

-Tell me something.
-What?

If you had one choice, just one choice...

Arjun, don't ask any further.
There is only one choice for me.

The one and only Ms. Maya.
I love you, Ms. Maya.

Come in, sir. Please relax here.
I will call for you.

-Thank you...
-Boltu, sir.

-Mr. Boltu.
-Thank you, sir.

"The mind sways"

"The body swings"

"Cuckoo, cuckoo"

"The heart sings"

"You're bugging me too much
Go away, crazy fellow"

Sir?

The floor is very dirty, isn't it?

Dirty? Spot!

Clean the floor.
Sir, we are ready. Let's go.

-What do you know?
-I know it all. Just ask.

Her bust size?

Thirty-eight, D cup.

-Her waist?
-It was 32, now it's 34.

-Favorite car?
-Shogun.

-Holiday spot?
-It has to be London.

-First bikini film?
-The Sea Queen.

First topless?

Never, but in the film The Good Girl,
in a shot, a bit could be seen.

I saw it again and again.

-Type of men?
-Tall.

With a sense of humor.
She likes her men to keep the top

two buttons of their shirts open. Really?

Trust me, I know.

Sir?

Oh, gosh. It's really hot.

Sorry. Spot!

Switch on the AC. Come, sir.

Ms. Maya, thank you so much.

We hope to see you back in
Hindi cinema soon.

Thank you.
Just give me a script, and I'll be ready.

I can't give you a script,
but I can give you a writer.

Well Ladies and Gentlemen,
get your hands together for

The one and only, 'The One Who Knows,'
Sunny Chopra.

-Thank you Sunny for being on the show.
-Thank you.

-This is Maya.
-Hi.

Favorite hero? Mithun.
Favorite film? Kasam Paida Karnewale Ki.

Favorite song? What's life?

First and foremost I would like
to congratulate you.

-Why?
-For your marriage.

You cheat! You broke my heart.

You ungrateful dog.

Sunny, are you okay?

We have heard that you are writing
the much-awaited script for Karan Johar.

Yes. The script.

Everyone here would love to know
what it is about.

So, please tell us something
about the story.

She likes serious modern mysteries.
You know? Film noire.

Sunny, the story?

You see, I can't reveal much
about the story.

Right now, all I can say is

that it's a different kind of mystery.

In which the woman
plays the main protagonist.

A woman is the central character.

And a married man falls in love with her.

And a married man falls in love with her.

And how that woman's breasts, no,
personality changes...

are the foundation of the story.

What?

That means that the husband, wife,
and... Ms. Maya?

We often see that after marriage,
a man loves the other woman more

than he loves his wife.

You mean to say that
men often feel they will lose their

independence after marriage.

Why do you think so?

First, as I see it,

he is tied to one single woman.

His responsibility increases.

His social circle drops to zero.

He cannot make any independent decision.

And most importantly,

and this is something very hard
for a man to accept,

All the other women lose interest in him!

Sunny?

Sunny?

You are an expert on marriage issues.

So what would you like to say?

Marriage...

-Marriage, about marriage...
-You paused again.

I think it's more about the bonding
of two bodies than soul...

I mean, two souls than bodies...

Hello! Madam Anju. Why aren't you asleep?

Yes, Anju, we are coming.
Of course, Sunny is coming.

No. Tell me first. Who loves you the most
in the entire world?

You.

I love you, too. Good night. Bye.

Happy? Okay. Now quickly say your prayers.

Mommy, what's the difference between
Diwali and Christmas?

Nothing. They're both the same.

So does Santa come for Diwali?

If he has the time, then he will.

If I call him? Will he come to me?
Get presents for me?

What did you wish for?

-Good night, darling.
-Good night, Mom.

Nancy, where is my alarm clock?

-I'm troubling you for no reason.
-No, it's no problem.

It's hardly five minutes from my house.

You remind me of Mithun Chakroborty.

He is my teacher. He's my hero.

-No?
-Yes.

No.

What is this life without your eyes

What is this life if not in your arms

Aha ha... Oho ho... Aha ha

Aha ha... Oho... Aha...

Do you have any doubt?

-How tall are you?
-Five feet, 11.5 inches

There was dialogue in my film.
Forget the five feet,

Let's talk about the 11.5 inches.

Is there a problem?

Oh, gosh.

Davidoff. Cool waters.

Yes! How do you know?

It's my favorite, too.

-But it's a woman's perfume.
-No. Not that.

I mean it's my favorite fragrance
on women.

-Oh, gosh!
-Hey!

Are you a fragrance...
I mean, are you blind?

Follow that car.

That's a foreign car, sir. Take a taxi.

What the...

What is this life Naani

Without Maya's arms

Oh, it's you. Hello!

Greetings, Sunny!

Greetings, Gungunani. Greetings, Kalavati.

Kalavati!

I have a small question for you.
Do you really think...

I can make it rain by singing?

I mean, do I have that power in my voice?

-No. Not a hundred percent.
-No!

I'm 120 percent sure it's there!
Gungunani.

Yes?

You surely do have the power, and...

Then I shall go tomorrow
to all the music companies

because the day after is Diwali,
and everything will be closed.

Yes, sure. Everything will close.

-But you do believe that.
-Gungunani, you are the best.

Really?

You're the best of the best.
You are the Tansen of modern times.

Forget about Tansen.
You sing better than Mohd, Rafi.

You are a very good human being.
Good night, Sunny.

Good night.

Let's go, Kala.

Oh, the house is this way. Let's go.

Oh, gosh.

Oh, Naani.

Sunny. Parvati saw you on TV today.

It's not a joke, Sunny.
I'm very serious and...

Oh god, Sunny. Think.
Why? What can be the reason?

'The One Who Knows,' really?

So what kind of knowledge do you give?

No, just the general about family, love,

affairs, and others...

Love affair? Interesting.
I must hear this.

You know. Like, 'I am in love with a girl,

but how do l tell my wife' type.

So, are you married?

No. No marriage stuff...

-Do you have a girlfriend? A fiancé?
-No.

What? A handsome guy like you?
Girls must be crazy about you.

No... Yes! They are crazy about me.

But I'm waiting for her.

The one destined for me.

Okay. And what do you think?
Who is destined for you?

I don't know, but, like they say, Maya...

that in life,
you only get what you deserve.

What is it?

What the...

Pandey.

-How do you do Sunny?
-Hi, how do you do...

I'm absolutely fine.

Rasgullas.

Rasgullas.

My uncle got them from Calcutta.

And they are in my fridge because?

My fridge isn't working, you know.
It doesn't chill food properly,

and rasgullas must be chilled...

Thank you so much for
this piece of information.

Good bye. Good night.

Sunny, actually I have got an idea.
I have been thinking...

Pandey, listen to me.
Pandey, I have lots of work to do.

Listen. Today...

Give my regards to your uncle.
You may leave now.

Film producing,
that's where the future lies, Sunny.

-Film producing?
-Yes.

What about the chocolate pencils?
Kids biting their nails?

The plan and the research?
www.facebook.com/film1india

No, that's very risky. Very risky.

-And film producing isn't?
-No, apparently not.

See, it's like... My uncle made a film.

'Wedding night in a graveyard,' and...

What?

'Wedding night in a graveyard.'

-So I heard it right?
-Yes.

That's all I need. Go. Please, go home.

-Oh, no. Listen to me. It's perfect...
-Pandey, I'm telling you...

It's a perfect idea, my friend.
A love story with a horror backdrop.

You write and I'll produce it.
We'll earn lots of money.

Pandey. My dear Pandey.
Please try to understand what I'm saying.

You don't need to make
'Wedding night in a graveyard.'

You need to have a wedding night
before you go to the graveyard.

Sunny, my friend. You know I'm a celibate.

Pandey, my friend. Listen to me carefully.

Yes, tell me.

-The moon is always in the sky.
-Yes, it is.

-And water is always wet.
-Of course, it is.

And it's a fact that man needs a woman.
Bye.

Hey, wait a minute.
Are you trying to push me away?

Trying to push you away?
No. Pandey, go home.

-Okay, Sunny.
-Yes.

'Down with chocolate pencils.
Long live film producing.'

Shut up, Rawalpindi!

Pandey.

What the...

Oh, it's expired...

Thank you, Pandey. Don't mind if I do.

Hello!

-Hi, Sunny!
-Yes?

Sunny, this is Maya.

Hey, Maya. Hi. This is Sunny.

Oh, Sunny.
I couldn't recognize your voice.

Sorry, I was eating some sweets.

Really? It's so late.
Do you like eating sweets?

Yes. I'm crazy about them.

I'm calling late at night.

Hey, it's no problem.

I wanted to thank you. Yes. Really.

You gave me a ride, and helped me.

I felt very nice.

Hey, how could I not help you?
You didn't have a car.

-And it's five minutes away from my house.
-You know, in these times,

nobody does a thing for anyone
without a motive.

Yes.

But you are not like that.

So are we meeting tomorrow?
For carrot pudding?

Of course, I have never backed out
from any challenge.

Especially from
a carrot pudding challenge...

But Sunny, I'm amazed that we
are so alike. What a coincidence.

Did you ever imagine that carrot pudding
is my favorite desert, too?

Carrot pudding with raisins.

Never.

I never imagined that you can cook...

carrot pudding.

That's right.
I can also cook other things.

Like?

Like...

toast with jam and butter.

Okay, Sunny. Let's meet tomorrow.
Text me your address.

Hello!
Murali, keep all my March dates free.

What?

They're free?
But don't give them to anyone.

Just a minute, Murali.

-You?
-Good evening, ma'am.

-I was waiting for you at the studio.
-No, I got a ride. Thank you.

-Hi!
-Hey.

-I miss you so much right now.
-Yes. How is Aunty?

-She talks so much just like you.
-Thank you.

You looked very handsome on TV.

Yes, I know.

Are you all right, Sunny?

Yes. No. Naani, the script is draining me.

I don't know how will I finish it
by tomorrow. I don't feel like writing.

Good! I'm also getting very bored here.
Shall I come home?

No, Naani. I have lots of work.
I have to work on them. Bye.

No, please let's talk a little longer.

I'm in the mood to talk.

In fact, I'm in the mood
for a lot of things. Shall I come home?

No, Naani. I have lots of work.
I have a deadline. Please, I have to work.

Yes, I'll talk to you later.

What? Sunny is saying no?
What kind of day, I mean night, is it?

You know,
Aunt Thelma took me to the market.

Me in the market? Can you imagine?

-This is my mobile number.
-I was going crazy...

-Hello?
-Yes, Naani? What is it?

Are you listening?

Why did you come so late
from the interview? Did you go somewhere?

I want your address.

-Yes, with Ms. Maya.
-Who?

Ms. Maya, she was in the show.
She asked for a ride.

So, I had to drop her off
in the Hotel Grand...

Hotel Grand Beauty.
Sunny, that's two hours away.

You should have called for a taxi.

Yes. No, Naani. Ms. Maya's leg...

Her leg was broken, so I couldn't refuse.

Oh, my God. The poor lady.
It's good that you gave her a ride.

-Yes...
-See how difficult it is to say no?

Yes. Okay, Naani. I have to work now.

-Hey, text me.
-Hey, listen.

Anju called for you.
You are coming tomorrow, right?

-She is driving everyone mad.
-What is it, Naani?

How many times will you say it?
Will you keep on repeating it?

-I said that I'll go.
-Hey, why are you getting angry?

I'm no angry. I'm busy working.
This is important.

You people just don't understand. Bye.

Yes. I love you, too.

Pindi!

Shit...

Don't send. Don't send the text, Sunny.

Every single breath

Waiting anxiously

For the words I want to hear

For the moment that he says them

Every single breath

Waiting anxiously

For the words I want to hear

For the moment that he says them

We are meeting tomorrow.

Look, Sunny. The moon is smiling.

Oh, what will you do, Sunny?

You're dead.

Hey, Naani. What should I do?

Oh, God. I'm sorry.

God, Naani always...

says if there is any confusion,
you show the right path to everyone.

God, am I doing something wrong?
I mean, if I'm doing something wrong

then just give me one sign.
I'll come on the right track.

Sorry.

Just one sign. Please.

No, no! Don't do it!

No, no!

For God's sake, don't do it. Please.

Rawalpindi.

Great. That's just great.

"Rawal"

"Rawalpindi"

"Rawal, Rawal"

"Rawal, Rawalpindi"

"Rawal, Rawal, Rawalpindi"

Just any sign. Any time.
Just give me a sign.

"And God said, whenever I call..."

"He will come for me"

Yes, Karan. The script is ready.

Get up. You have to get up.

There is a lot to work on today.

The body sways
The mind swings

Cuckoo, cuckoo
The heart sings

The body sways
The mind swings

Cuckoo, cuckoo
The heart sings

The world is mad with love
It's singing Cuckoo, cuckoo

The earth and the sky
Sing in unison, Cuckoo, cuckoo

Oh, my god, Naani!
What are you doing here?

Sunny, why were you sleeping on the sofa?

Actually, I...

Naani, what time is it?

Oh, it's 11:00 a.m.?
I have to do a lot of work, Naani.

Forget about work, Sunny.
Let's go to the bedroom?

Naani, I need to brush my teeth.

Sunny is saying no?

Hello! Hi, Mom.

You've come out.

Will you please wait for a minute?

Outside?

BP uncle, who did you send to me?

And what am I supposed to do with him?

I'm sorry.

Happy Diwali in advance.

Thanks. I need water.

It's for you. It must be Anju.

-Hey, Anju.
-This is not Anju. It's Parvati Kakkar.

Parvati, I'm very sick. Sorry.

Sir, we really need to make a decision
about Sunny. I've had enough.

I cannot control him, and I'm not sure
if there is anyone who can.

Michael.

-Yes, sir?
-Look, I cannot offer you a job.

Yes, sir.

Look, I cannot offer you...

Okay. Tomorrow is Diwali
and Suresh is not coming, so...

Sir, if I have a job,
Rama will be very happy.

-Rama?
-Rama is my wife. She always says that

-I will never get a job.
-What?

Sir, I'm telling you.

I have never kept any job
for more than two days.

-No, but I...
-You're very nice, sir. Thank you.

-What has to be done?
-Just fill up the form.

-And the uniform?
-Yes, pick up the uniform.

-Thank you very much, sir.
-You're welcome.

"After thinking and understanding"

"Things properly"

"I'll do my work very carefully"

"I have promised myself"

"This time, it will be more than two days"

"This time, it will be more than two days"

I'll get it.

Sunny, there is a Ms. Maya for you.

Naani, I don't know any Ms. Maya.

Then why is she taking her clothes off?

What? I mean, what?

How do you do, Sunny?

Hi, how do you do...

Pandey, please give me my mug.

Give me my coffee, Pandey.
What are you doing here?

No, I don't even want to know. Thank you.

Pandey, here's some coffee for you.

-Thank you. Thank you very much.
-You're welcome.

Good morning, Karan.

-Even you woke up late today?
-Hey, Sunny. It's your interview!

You know, last night,
I was watching a film.

-Which one?
-Wedding Night in a Graveyard.

It's a horrible film, Naani.
You won't be able to tolerate.

No, not you, Karan.

Listen, Sunny. I have an idea.

It's okay.
We'll talk later in the evening.

Not today, Pandey.
We're going to my parents' house later.

Okay.

Yes. Okay. Bye, Karan.

Sunny, you wore a tie in the interview.
Where is it?

Yes. Where is it?

Sunny, I think Maya likes you.

Naani, I won't be able to go tonight.

What?

-What?
-What did you say?

Naani, I have a lot of work.

It looks like I won't be able to
make it tonight.

Relax. Just do your work.
We'll leave after you finish.

Yes, just look at how she looks at you.

Naani, you can go alone.
I can't work like this.

-I'll come some other day.
-Sunny, this is not fair.

Everyone is expecting you.

And what you're doing is fair?

I have so much work. Do you think
I'd stop it all just for a dinner?

Just a dinner?
Sunny, how can you say that?

You're visiting my family after so long,
and all these people who have

never celebrated Diwali are doing it
just for you and Anju.

Sunny, don't irritate me.
I'll wait for you.

You finish your work,
and then we'll leave. Okay?

Okay. I'll cook something special
for you all, okay?

-That's a very good idea.
-Okay.

What's okay? Have you gone mad?

Hey, Naani. You should go on your own.
I'll go there once I finish.

Naani, I won't be able to work like this.
It's a creative job.

-Please don't pressure me.
-You're also looking at her, Sunny. Wow.

Pandey, will you keep quiet?
Who is looking?

Looking at whom? What? Watch it quietly.

Can't you people understand?
I have to work.

How should I tell you?
I can't work like this. Leave me alone...

-Where...
-Shut up, Pandey! So that I can work.

-Are you serious?
-Yes, Naani. You go.

-You are not coming?
-No.

Work is only an excuse, isn't it?

What do you mean?

I mean, just because I invited Dad,
you are doing all this drama, right?

You know what, Sunny?

If I had a choice
between having a husband like you,

or having a dad like yours,

I would choose your dad any day.

Then Sunny would be your brother.

Pandey, one more time.

Pandey, will you please go to your house?

-What about this match?
-I don't care about the match.

I have a lot of work. Go to your house...

-Let Go of My Hand.
-What?

This is the name of our film.
The one that you'll write.

It's about a woman's changing breast,
and Karan Johar will direct it.

Pandey, have mercy on Karan at least.

Pandey, now I'll go back there
to write, and you...

Pandey? Hello!

Pandey, you're still
thinking about the film, aren't you?

Don't think about it! Think about a woman.

Think about a woman.

-Are you okay?
-Yes.

-But I'm a celibate.
-What the...

To hell with this celibate crap!
Find a sexy woman,

and become a "celimate"!

"'The One Who Knows.'"

There is only one solution
to this problem.

Forget about being a celibate,
be a "celimate"!

-Okay, but what's a "celimate"?
-How would I know?

Check in some man to woman dictionary.

Go now.

And Let Go of My Hand?

Just check if everything is okay.
We need to make this deal.

-We just have one copy...
-Relax. It's okay.

Where is the elevator?

To get something, give something
To find something, lose something

And carrot pudding

To get something, give something
To find something, lose something

And carrot pudding

Carrot pudding is just an excuse

Hey, Bunty!

Sunny, don't be sentimental.
Make the pudding.

Hello! Hotel Hindustaani.
Do you have carrot pudding? No?

Hello? Yes, do you have carrot pudding?

No? No, I don't want apple ice cream.

Out of season? What the?
There is no season for having deserts.

You don't even have little bit?

Hello? Oh, it's you again.
No, I don't want that ice cream.

Let him go to hell.

Sunny, make it yourself.

But what do you need to make it?

Nothing, buddy. Just carrot, sugar, milk,
raisins. It's simple shit. Make it, bro.

Cool.

Hello! Laxmi stores? Send me some carrots.

Michael, you do that in the army.
This is a pizza shop.

'Hunger is our enemy.
Customers are our friends.

We are the soldiers

who will defeat our enemy, in any shape,

size or form, to save our friends.'

-Soldier.
-Yes.

Yes. Good.

-Good?
-Good.

-Sir.
-Yes.

-I'll learn this book by heart.
-Yes.

Lunch?

Pizza!

Sir, there is a delivery order.
Should I send that soldier?

Please. Send him anywhere.
He's driving me mad.

Okay, sir.

Think, Sunny. Just relax, and think.

Okay, what do we have?
Milk has to be boiled, right?

Good. Boil the milk first.

Okay, now the carrots.
Forget about the peeling, just cut them.

Get a knife.

Oh, no. I might break this.
Let me remove it.

Oh, gosh! Oh, man.

Sorry, Naani.

Have you gone mad?

We shouldn't even be together
let alone kiss.

We have nothing in common.

We have 'nny' in common.

That's what I'm saying, nothing in common.

No idiot. 'Nny' is common.

What?

'Nny.' You don't know that?

-What?
-'Nny.'

Firstly, we have nothing in common,
and to top it off, you are insane.

This will be the end of our love story.

Hey.

'Nny' is common. Jenny. Sunny. See?

Jenny. Sunny. 'Nny' is common.

Now can we be in love. Now give me a kiss.

This is the last time I'm doing this now.

Whether we have 'Naani' in common or not.

Oh, not Naani. 'Nny.' Look, 'Nny.'

-Now say, 'Nny.'
-Naani.

No.

'Nny.' Watch and repeat.
Get the lips right. 'Nny.'

'Nny.'

No. 'Nny.'

-'Nny.'
-Yes, baby.

-So we have 'nny' in common.
-Yes.

-So, I am your Naani.
-No.

Okay. You're my Naani.

Sure?

Yes.

Do you know what this means?

What?

That now you can't do anything wrong.

What? Why?

Because every time you do something wrong,
you'll remember me.

-Why?
-You haven't heard the saying?

'Every time you do something wrong,
someone will beat you up so much

that you will remember your Naani.'

Naani?

Don't worry. It's just a saying.
Who will come and remind you of Naani?

Happy Diwali, sir.
One large... What was it?

Special pizza. Pan pizza.

-Mommy's Pizza?
-Yes.

It's your rule. If the delivery
is within 30 minutes, you pay.

After that, it's free. It's free.
You're late.

Sir, how can that be? I'm not late. How?

I quickly wore the uniform.
Sir, this is one size smaller,

but I still wore it,
then they made the pizza on time,

and I came here directly.
So how can I be late, sir?

Sir.

'Time is of the essence.
A delivery person cannot be late.'

Listen. Trainee?

What is with you guys?
Trainee? What's your name?

My name is Michael, sir.
And people generally call me

Michael, sir.

Okay, Michael.
Do you know what time it is?

-You have a watch, sir.
-No, Michael.

This is not just a watch.
This is an Omega.

-What? Why are you laughing?
-Sir, it's just a common watch.

Common?

Firstly, you insult it by calling it
just a watch, and that it's too common.

If James Bond had been in my place,

he would have killed you.

This is an Omega, Michael.
And Omega is never,

I repeat, never wrong.

-Never wrong?
-Never.

But it's running fast, sir.

Michael, do you know who I am?

James Bond?

No, Michael. I'm not James Bond,
and I can't be James Bond,

because I said if James Bond was here.
Do you understand?

There are two of us. Two different people.

You have a twin brother?

Oh, man, Michael, I'm scared.
Despite being Pandey's neighbor,

I'm still scared, Michael.

You really don't know who am I?

No, sir.

What the...

Now?

I get it. I'm with you.

No. I don't recognize you at all.

Oh, where is Mr. James? He was
a good man. What did you do to him, sir?

Who are you? Sir, am I doing it right?

What are you on about?

Sir, you are pretending
to be someone else, right?

I understood your game.

Now, who will you act like? Donald Duck?

No, Michael. No.
I have lots of work to do.

You may leave. Good bye.

-Sir.
-Yes, Michael?

What about the bill, sir?
What will I say to the manager, sir?

Tell your manager that you were late.

An Omega is never wrong.
It is precise, all the time.

-Trust me, I know.
-Sir.

Yes, Michael?

Happy Diwali, sir.

Yes. Sure.

BP uncle, what should I do now?

Sir, what is the time, please?

-It's 1:20 p.m.
-It's 1:20 p.m.? Sir, are you sure?

-It's 1:20 p.m.
-Sir! Omega?

-What?
-Omega?

Okay.

-Happy Diwali, sir.
-Yes. Sure. What is it?

Sir, I'm not late at all.
I met a man downstairs.

He was not James Bond,
but his watch showed the right time.

-Michael...
-Yes.

Michael, my friend, I have no time
for all this right now.

You have no idea how much work I have.
Good bye.

-Sir?
-Yes, Michael?

My money, sir?

Michael, here is one piece of advice.

In life, you only digest the food
you earn from your hard work.

So go and work hard, and earn your bread.

Hello? Parvati! I'm very sick.

-Sir?
-Quiet.

Parvati. I'm in my office. I can't come...

Parvati, I really... Oh!

I really...

'Customer is our friend and we
should always help our friend...'

Sunny don't think I'm a fool.
This is serious.

What are you doing? Why did you hit me?

Sir, it's out.

What's out?

Whatever was in your throat.

There was nothing in my throat.
It's only you in my house!

Now, get out!

Sir, please. My money...

Michael, be glad that I'm not filing
a case on for entering my house,

and beating me up. Now, get out!

Oh, shit! The milk!

I cannot bear the distance anymore

Come to me, baby

I am going to run with the wind

Come run with me

I want to open up my heart today

I'm yours
Cuckoo, cuckoo

I'm yours
Cuckoo, cuckoo

What on earth are you doing?

-Oh, gosh!
-My goodness...

Who? Who are you?

Who are you?

Sir, I'm Michael. You are James Bond.
You fell and got knocked out.

Oh, it's you. What are you doing here?

I had asked you to leave...

Sir. 'The customer is our friend
and we should always help our friend...'

Not the book, please. Thank you.

-Sir, are you making carrot pudding?
-Yes.

Nobody can make carrot pudding
better than Rama.

-Who's Rama?
-My wife.

Okay.

She tried to teach me
to cook so many things,

-but I couldn't learn anything.
-A brave woman.

I don't know how I learned to make
carrot pudding...

Well done, at least you learned
something in life.

Sir, you're a great person.

Because you gave me a chance
to correct my mistake.

When the manager finds out how much
I helped you,

-he will never fire me.
-Yes, sure. Just make the pudding.

Thank you, sir. Thank you very much.

Don't thank me. Make the pudding.

Yes sir, 'the customer is always right.'

Sir, Michael is not back yet.

Good. Very good.

Michael,
please brother I'm trying to work.

-Sorry, sir.
-Thank you.

-Sir.
-Yes, Michael?

Sir, you love your Granny a lot, right?

Yes. What?

What rubbish are you talking now?

Don't you know? Sir, when you
were knocked out, you were lying there..

Sir, do you know what were you saying?
You were saying, Granny...

Sir, do you know what Rama always says?

No, but I have a feeling you will tell me.

Correct. Rama says, in difficult
times one remembers the person

he loves the most...

Sir, for example, if you hit me
and I fall unconscious...

How I wish.

Then what will I say? Rama...

Rama. Oh, Rama...

Rama...

-And the pudding?
-I'm making it, sir, with lots of love.

Sir, where is your Granny now?

I just don't want Sunny to be alone.
We'll come some other time.

Thanks, Mom. I love you. Is Anju there?

"And God said, whenever I call"

"He will come for me"

Thanks, Mom, Bye. I love you.

-How do you do, Sunny?
-Hi, how do...

Pandey will you please change clothes?

Yes. I'm going to change history.
From today, I'll do karate,

-dance, and yoga...
-Oh, Pandey. Why?

No, I don't even want to know.

Don't tell me.
You should go and change, please.

Look, Sunny.
I'm going to run 50 miles, now.

-How much?
-Fifty miles.

You just keep track of the time.
What time is it?

Today is Saturday. You should leave now.
We'll meet next month.

-Why next month?
-Sir, the pudding...

Who is he? Who are you? What pudding?

This is Michael. He came to help me...

-Yes, 'Customer is a friend...
-Michael, stop!

-Just make the pudding.
-Yes, make the pudding.

If we eat sweets before the shoot,
we'll have good luck.

-Yes. Sure. Look there.
-Where? There is nothing there...

-Yes.
-Sunny, by God, there is nothing there.

-Hello, Sunny!
-Hello, Gungunani. Hello, Kalavati.

I'm going to take the first step
of the new beginning.

So I thought, before I start,
I should thank you again,

and take your good wishes along.

-Hey, you speak in Hindi!
-Yes. Oh, gosh!

Yes, leave quickly,
and take all my good wishes with you.

Thanks a lot. Let's go, Kala.

My wishes are also with you.

We're living in troubled times, Kalavati!

-I have an idea.
-Even I have an idea.

-What?
-I don't want to know.

Here. Take this.

Hello!

What are you doing? Read the message.

That's where we're going. Hurry up.

Yes, ma'am.

Hey, Michael. Pick up the phone.
The phone is ringing. Please.

Hello? Yes, ma'am. One minute.

Sir, there is a Parvati Kakkar for you.

Ma'am, he's not at home.
He's at home. Yes.

He's shaving. No, he's not shaving.

He's in the bathroom.

Oh, no. He's shooting...

He is...

He's in the bedroom.

He's in the bedroom.

He's saluting in the bedroom.

He has a fever. Very good.

He can't breathe very good.

He's taking his last breath. He's dead!

No, he's alive.

Sorry. He's in the bedroom. He's sleeping.

He's sleeping in the bedroom.
And he's sweating, too.

No, ma'am. He didn't die in the bathroom.
He's alive.

Why are you so disappointed?
One minute, ma'am.

Please hold on.

Yes, ma'am. Okay. Then I take pause here?

Yes. Okay. Just a minute.

Okay, madam. Thank you very much. Bye.

What did she say?

She said, "If you don't come to work,
you'll be fired."

Now, I'll pause.

Rubbish! I'm not scared of her warnings.

Don't mistake it for a warning.

She'll fire me?
She'll fire 'The One Who Knows'?

She'll fire me? The chances of me

getting fired are as bright as the chances
of Pandey getting a woman today.

She will fire me? Really?
Who will fire me?

Michael, you tell me.
Who will get me out of the job?

Sir, I don't know. I didn't ask.

No, buddy. That's just the way I speak.
I told you, I'm a writer.

Don't worry. I'm 'The One Who Knows.'

Nobody can fire me.

So Michael, how do I look?

How am I looking?

-Very smart, sir.
-Thank you.

-Just like a film star.
-Is the pudding ready?

Yes, sir.

Delicious. Michael, you're not a cook,
you're an artist.

Amazing! Okay Michael, my friend...

you be made permanent as soon as possible.

Not only that, but I'll forget that you
delivered my pizza late. Happy?

-Thank you, sir.
-Don't mention it, Michael.

That's what we are here for,
to help each other.

'Give from one hand, take from the other.'

Hey, Michael, not the book.
Okay, Michael. Thank you.

That's it. Good bye. Let's go.

-Sir...
-Yes?

Happy Diwali, sir, to you
and to your Grandmother.

What?

Now I understand you.

You are doing this for your grandmother.
You just can't express it.

No, Michel. You don't understand.

In fact, my Grandmother died
a long time ago.

What?

Sunny?

-Naani?
-Quiet.

-Sunny why did you shut the door?
-Naani, I'm coming in a second.

What should I do?
Run, and jump from the window?

Shut up! Hey, Michael, I need you
to do something for me.

Just one last favor, okay?
Naani is waiting for me outside.

I have to go. You wait here. Don't move.

A woman called Ms. Maya will come for me.

Ask her to sit and wait, okay?
I'll be back soon.

Sunny, open the door.
What's taking so long?

Got it? Nod twice if you understand.

Twice.

Okay. Good bye, Michael. All the best.

-Yes, Naani.
-Finally.

Hey, Naani. Oh, sorry. Let's go.

-Sunny...
-Let's go...

What's happening?
Where are you going all dressed up, Sunny?

Where are we going all dressed up?

-We? What?
-Naani, you spoiled the surprise.

-Is it a surprise?
-Meant to be a surprise.

-Why are we running like thieves?
-Naani, do you think we're thieves?

-Sir, have you seen him before?
-What?

I mean, have you seen him around?

No, sorry. Naani, do you know him?

-How would I know?
-Sorry. Bye.

Come on. What the? Oh, it started.

You must have taken the wrong turn.

His house is just five minutes away
from my hotel.

-But, madam.
-Shut up!

I'm sorry. I mean, shut up.

-Darling, he is driving.
-I love you, Anju.

Heard that? She says she love you, too.

Yes, Anju, we are coming.
Hello! My battered died.

-How come you never say that to me?
-What?

I love you, Anju.

That's because your name is not Anju.
I'm funny.

You know what I mean.

Stop this rubbish love scene
and hurry home! Maya is waiting!

She's waiting, and my cellphone is dead.
Maya...

-Did Sunny say something?
-Oh, gosh!

-What time will he get back?
-He said he would be back soon.

And you are?

I'm his friend.

And you work for Mommy's Pizza?

Who told you?

You're very smart.

Are you okay?

Where did Sunny go?

-He went to his grandmother.
-What?

I don't know everything.
You see, what happened was...

Here is what happened.
First, Sunny fainted.

And then he started remembering
his grandmother.

Granny...

When I asked him, he said
that his grandmother died long ago.

And then the bell rang.

So he opened the door,
and he got so scared as if he saw a ghost.

Why?

His grandmother had come back.

Wait. I don't understand.

Are you telling me that

Sunny's dead grandmother came back?

It was probably the sound of the wind.

I think I heard a scream.

That's impossible.

There was no one there.

You know, once, I was alone in my house.

I opened the fridge, and someone sneezed.

When I checked, there was no one there
except for a block of butter.

Did that butter sneeze ever again?

I watched it closely for a week.
That was its first and last sneeze.

But today is different.

Today, I learned that ghosts ring
the doorbell to come in.

Oh, gosh!

Sunny!

Relax, Maya. Just relax.

-I'll meet you in a while.
-Okay.

Okay.

-Hey, what the...
-Hey!

Would you like some carrot pudding?

-Carrot pudding?
-Yes.

Of course.
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-Sir. Sir, please.
-Where is your license?

-Sir, please let me go.
-Let me see your license.

-Sir, I'm in a hurry.
-Where is your license?

Sir, I forgot my license at home.

That's too bad. What's your name?

Sir, please let me go. I'm in a hurry.

Don't waste my time. Your name?

-Pundorikakshya Purokayashtha.
-What?

Pundorikakshya Purokayashtha!

Pundori...

Pun... Pundo... Pundori...

What the...

Okay, I'm letting you go this time.

Next time, don't forget your license.

Thank you, sir. Thank you.

So you are producing Sunny's movie?

Yes.

Please sit comfortably.

And this is the same one
that Karan Johar is directing?

Yes. I mean, if Karan wants to,
then I have no problem.

This is the same one
based on a woman's changing...

Changing breasts. Yes, it's based on that.
Sunny told you?

Yes.

You like sweets, right?

-Very much.
-I like sweets, too.

-I eat a lot of sweets.
-Okay.

I have a lot of sweets in my house.

They're in the fridge.
My uncle got them from Calcutta.

-Okay.
-Yeah.

Where do you stay?

Where do I stay?
I stay there outside the door.

I mean, in the opposite apartment.

Okay.

Have you finalized who will play
the heroine?

Sweets. I need more sweets.

Carrot pudding...

When I checked, there was nothing inside.

Sir, where are you?

Rama. Rama.

-Michael, why are you outside?
-Sir, you're back.

-Where's Maya?
-At Pandey's place!

Pandey's place? Where's Pandey?

Sunny, how do you do?

Sunny, I have become a "celimate."

No, Pandey. No.
Please come to your senses.

Where's Maya?

-Maya has left...
-What the...

"I have become the Holy Lady!"

Damn it!

Pandey...

-Oh, gosh! Parvati!
-You recognized me?

-Happy Diwali, Sunny.
-Yes. sure.

-You're fired.
-What?

No, Parvati. How can you fire me?

-I am 'The One Who Knows'
-You were, not are.

-Read the letter.
-No...

Hey!

Taxi!

Sir, I'm so happy to see you alive.

Michael, why are you outside?

Sir, some strange noises
were coming from the window.

What?

I got very scared.

Michael, you should have shut the window.

Oh, gosh!

Sir, did you hear?

To hell with the noise, Michael.

Damn! Michael, how could you let
Maya go with Pandey?

I don't know. Sir, I was damn scared.

Sir, I suggest you change your fridge.

-At my house also...
-Michael, you should go.

Please, just go.

Oh, shit. Karan.

Sawant, what did you buy for your kids
this Diwali?

There is so much the heart wants to buy,

but there is a long distance
between the heart and the pocket.

How I wish there was some
automatic way to make money.

Money is not a taxi
that will come whenever you call.

Hey. Who is this?

Shit man! Why didn't I take Karan's call?

Sir.

Michael, please go. Just go home.

Sir, Karan Johar had called.

What? When?

Sir, when you had gone out
and noises were coming from the fridge.

Michael, what did he say?
What did Karan say?

He said that was asking for you.
Sir, I'm telling you, this fridge...

Michael, forget the fridge.
Focus. What did you say to Karan?

I said that you were stuck at some point
in the story.

Michael, let me tell you the problem
of my story. Listen.

In my story, the hero has to choose
between two paths, one that is right

-and one that is wrong.
-Sir, that's very easy.

It seems easy, right?
But, my friend, if he chooses

the right path, he is with his family,
and if he chooses the wrong path,

he is with his true friends.
So, what's the decision,

and what's the reason?

Sir, he should choose the right path.

But his friends helped him
when his family didn't.

So then he must go with his friends.

Michael, don't think too much
before answering.

-I didn't think at all. sir.
-Yes, Michael.

-Sir.
-Yes?

-Sir, your problem is solved.
-What?

-Sir, Rama had told me a story.
-What?

-About Karan and Mahabharat.
-What?

Sir, Karan decided to go with the villains
when his own family was not with him.

Sir, that's the best example.
The best idea.

The Best Idea. sir.

Michael, you're a brilliant man!
What a theory, Michael.

What a theory of the Mahabharat.
Amazing! I'm so stupid.

I wasted two months trying to solve this.

Do this.
Whenever Karan calls, you tell him...

Hello, Karan. To solve the here's problem,
we'll use the Mahabharat theory.

Yes. Do you like it? No? Why?
Should I commit suicide?

Some Mahabharat theory...
Hey, Michael! Pick up the phone.

Sir, I also told him
about the Mahabharat story.

What?

That Mahabharat idea.

No, Michael. Please.

You are joking right?
Please Michael, you didn't say...

-anything of that sort right?
-But you only told me...

Michael, I was joking.
Come on, why did you say that?

How can you be so stupid?

Sir, you only told me to...

Michael, I was joking. Joking.
Don't you understand jokes?

Really? It was a joke. Something funny.

Shit, I'm so stupid.
Why did I expect you to understand a joke?

What a day! First, I lost Maya,
then the job, and now Karan...

Why did you pick up the phone?
Why did you talk to Karan?

Who asked you to talk rubbish to Karan?

Sir, I never lie
and I clearly remember that you...

Michael, will you just shut up?
Get out, fool! Get out!

Get out of my house and never come back!
Idiot.

Sir, I'm very sorry.
It's all because of me.

-But when you were in the bathroom...
-Michael, I didn't mean it that way.

Am I crazy enough to ask you to give

your stupid ideas to Karan?
Do you have a brain inside your head?

And if ever there is a stupid society,

the people there will worship your idol.

Now you can figure out why you
keep getting fired every two days,

and why nobody loves you.

Sir, this is not true.
Rama loves me a lot.

Then she is more stupid than you.

Now get out before I do something bad.
Just get out.

-Happy Diwali, dear!
-Happy Diwali!

Sunny, why did you leave me and come home?

They fired you?

Yes.

And I think I have lost Karan's film, too.

Sunny. I'm sorry. How did this happen?

Sunny, there is no need to get so upset.
Okay?

Anyway, I just don't like
'The One Who Knows' Sunny.

I prefer my old Sunny.

Yes, that's the thing.
Nobody liked my success.

Why should you think differently?

-Sunny, what are you saying?
-Forget it!

Come on, we can start from here.
We'll figure something out.

Whatever happens, happens for the best.
Trust me. Come on.

Please. Just leave me alone for a while.
Please.

How can I leave you alone
in this condition?

You need to be with people, okay?
Come, the whole family is waiting for you.

How many times do I have to say this,
Naani?

Just leave me alone. I don't want to go.

-Sunny...
-You live your life,

so let me live mine.
Don't drag me into this family shit.

-I'm fed up.
-Sunny...

Did I ask you to celebrate Diwali?

Since this marriage thing started,
it's suffocating me.

Sunny, do you want to get married?

I don't know.
I don't know anything, Naani.

And now, I really don't know.

Okay.

Hi! Am I late?

No. Sorry, Dad.
I completely forgot. Let's go.

Sunny?

Son, are you okay?

I know you have lots
of complaints against me.

They are all fair.
I haven't done much good in life.

And I guess you are paying the price.

The son is paying for the father's deeds.

You are my good son, Sunny.

And my whole life I never helped you.

And now...

There isn't much left in me.
Did you know that, son?

I always wanted one more child,
but your mother never agreed.

She said, she wouldn't be able to love
the child like she loved you.

And then it won't be fair.
At that time, I couldn't understand her.

Wait.

This is for you.

Your mother had asked me
to give this at the right time.

We would find all our destinations

We would make no mistakes

We would be together forever

We would never let go of love

Now that we have to be apart

I wish we would share fewer dreams

We would all have someone to lean on

We would all have someone to love

Every night would have a dawn

The world would fill up with flowers

If only things could be that way

If only there were no tears

If only nobody had to lose

Someone they would grow to love

Thanks, Mom.

But this isn't the right time.

Everything has gone wrong.

I wish I had a way to set
everything right again.

I don't know what to do.

I can't understand what to do.

How?

God, can you give me one more chance?

Please. Just one last chance.

I want to sort everything.
I want to correct everything.

Just one more chance. Please.

Sunny! You are a very nice person.
Very nice, indeed.

I have got the contract,
and the music company loved my song.

You encouraged me a lot,
that's why I could make it.

You are a very, very nice person.
May God give you everything.

Once again, thank you so much.

Let me thank Pandey, too. Thank you.

-Hello.
-Hey Sunny, this is Karan.

Karan? Karan, Hi!
I was trying to call you...

I'm so sorry. My mobile phone died on me.

Karan, I can explain everything.

Okay. I have to leave for Chennai
for an urgent meeting.

Oh, okay.

Okay, here's why I called.
Your Mahabharat idea...

-No...
-I liked it.

What? You liked it?

Yes. It's very nice, and allows for
an Indian sentiment.

-I liked it...
-Yes, that's what I thought.

Well done.

No worries.
We'll discuss it when I get back.

Yes. All right. You have a good Diwali.
All right. Okay.

All right. Bye, Sunny. Hi, Honey.

Yes! I'm back! Thank you, Mom!

Thank you so much. I love you, Mom.

Thank you, God. Thank you very much.

I love you!

Hey, Naani! Thank you, baby. I love...

Hey, Naani. Hey. You were... I kept it...

Who put this right here?

Michael Burnett.

Sir? You?

Yes, I just...

What happened, sir? Is everything okay?

I just... Actually, I... What do you...

A fan?

No, not a fan. A film.

Oh, Michael. I'm sorry, buddy.

Actually Karan Johar just called,
and he loved your Mahabharat idea.

So I thought,
I should come here and apologize.

Thank God, sir.

I was very worried that you
were in trouble because of me.

No, Michael. It was my mistake, my fault.

Sir, how did you get my address?

Actually, I ran into Mommy's Pizza
to look for you.

They told me you live here,
so I ran to your place.

Hey, Michael.
They told me you also got fired today.

I couldn't even last for a day.
It's a new record.

We're the same, right?

So now what?

As long as there are good people
like you in the world,

I'll keep getting a job.

You're a champion.

'Give from one hand, take from the other'

So you got it?

Now that you have lost the job,
what about Rama?

She prefers me inside
the house than outside.

Fantastic! That's good.

So, I'll leave now. Bye. God bless you.

-Happy Diwali.
-Happy Diwali.

You do something about it.

-Sir, sir!
-Yes, Michael?

What happened to your Granny?

Hey, Michael...

I don't know why I spoke so much rubbish
about Rama unreasonably.

-I'm very sorry.
-It's okay.

No. It's my fault.
I just want to meet Rama once,

and apologize to her,
or I won't be able to forgive myself.

May I meet her?

Michael, what about my shoes?

Come in. Don't mind it.

Where's Rama?

It has been 12 years, sir.

Mommy, there is no moon in Diwali.

No.

In Diwali, there is no moon,
no Santa Claus, and no Sunny.

I don't like Diwali.

-Sir.
-Yes, Michael.

This is Naani's house.
Hey, where are you going?

Michael, not that Naani.

Don't be such a kid.

Come, Michael. Oh, don't be shy. Come on.

Okay, so here's the party.
Everybody, this is Michael.

Hey, John, how are you?
Uncle John, this is Michael.

Aunt Rosy, how are you?
This is Michael, and... Hello.

I don't know who that is.
And this is my future Father-in-law.

Wow, he's looking really good.

Michael.

And this is my Dad.
Dad, this is my friend, Michael.

-Happy Diwali, Dad.
-Happy Diwali, Son.

And that's Aunt Thelma.
Beware of her, she has a bad temper.

That's my sleeping Uncle...

And somewhere in this crowd
of sweet and crazy people is my...

Naani.

-Naani.
-Sunny, now what do you...

Naani, please. I'm sorry.

-Sunny, I...
-I made a big mistake, Naani.

-I'm sorry.
-Yes, you made a mistake. Now...

Naani, be quiet. Don't say anything.

You talk too much, anyway.

-Now you want to get married?
-Yes.

You didn't even pause
before saying yes, why?

What do you mean why, Naani?
Give me your hand.

Why, Sunny? Why do you want
to get married? What's the reason?

-Why didn't you pause?
-When I pause, there's a problem.

When I don't, there's a problem.
I really love you.

Now will you give me your hand?

You love Pandey, too. Marry him.

Yuck. That's disgusting, Naani.
Have you ever seen Pandey in shorts?

Sunny, what's the reason?

I don't know. No philosophy,
no advice, no bullshit.

I don't know,
and I don't even want to know.

I'm just madly in love with my Naani,
and I want to get married to her.

Now will you give your hand,
or will you punish me like this?

-I love you, baby.
-I love you.

Hey, Naani.
I forgot to introduce him to you.
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Hey, Michael. Come here.

Come here, Michael.

Naani, this is Michael.

And, Michael, that's my Rama.

She's not just Naani anymore, but my wife.

You are the home delivery person, right?

Yes, that's right.

This is Mr. Home Delivery.

If anyone goes away
from home or is lost,

he delivers them back to their home.

Thank you.

"To me and to you
To all the world"

"Happy Diwali"

"The stars in the sky
Are lamps in His window"

"Happy Diwali"

"In all our hearts
In all our minds"

"That's where you'll find Him"

"Look in the earth or in the sky"

"He's everywhere"

"The light is His radiance"

"The world is His creation"

"He made this day for all of us"

"Happy Diwali"

"The stars in the sky
Are lamps in His window"

"Happy Diwali"

"He made this day for all of us"

"Happy Diwali"

"The stars in the sky
Are lamps in His window"

"Happy Diwali"

"And God said, whenever I call"

"He will come for me"

"No matter how far"

"He will come for me"

"And God said, whenever I call"

"He will come for me"

"He will come for me"

"He will come for me"

"My world shines so bright"

"It's as if the universe
Has filled up with his light"

"The whole world is so fragrant
It's like every flower"

"Everywhere is blooming with delight"

"Tonight, wherever you are
Come, sing along with us"

"Say 'Happy Diwali'"

"Happy Diwali"

"Today, greet everyone you meet
With warmth and love"

"Say 'Happy Diwali'"

"Happy Diwali"

"Tonight, wherever you are
Come, sing along with us"

"Say 'Happy Diwali'"

"Happy Diwali"

"Today, greet everyone you meet
With warmth and love"

"Say 'Happy Diwali'"

"Happy Diwali"

"To me and to you
To all the world"

"Happy Diwali"

Oh, it's you! You came so soon.
Thank God, we've been waiting for a month.

Hey, where are you going?

-Do you want the work done?
-Yes, please, come in.

-Where is it?
-It's inside the kitchen.

I fell 40 times in the past month.

Go left. It's on the right of the counter.

A little forward.

Yes. It's right there.