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1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
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2
00:00:33,841 --> 00:00:34,603
What is it?
3
00:00:34,709 --> 00:00:35,403
What?
4
00:00:35,510 --> 00:00:37,034
Why are you staring at my bust?
5
00:00:37,311 --> 00:00:39,142
I'm not, I was looking at your shirt.
6
00:00:39,213 --> 00:00:40,339
Yeah.
7
00:00:40,414 --> 00:00:41,904
Are the 'Smurfs' your favorite?
8
00:00:41,949 --> 00:00:43,541
Yes, I've seen every episode.
9
00:00:45,419 --> 00:00:46,181
They're cute,
10
00:00:46,254 --> 00:00:49,951
especially Smurfette
She's just so... womanly.
11
00:00:50,024 --> 00:00:52,254
Y'know, I've always
wanted to be like her.
12
00:00:52,326 --> 00:00:55,784
I suppose you are aware this
woman was the only female
in the Smurf village.
13
00:00:56,631 --> 00:00:57,631
So?
14
00:00:57,732 --> 00:01:01,532
Doesn't it seem odd that out of all
those little blue characters
she was the only female?
15
00:01:01,569 --> 00:01:05,027
No, I never thought about it
before today.
16
00:01:05,072 --> 00:01:08,701
They just laugh and have fun
all week long. It's weird. What are
they happy about?
17
00:01:09,944 --> 00:01:13,675
Stuck in a village full of
male dwarfs. Think about it,
that's not normal.
18
00:01:13,748 --> 00:01:15,943
So what happens?
They get aggressive.
19
00:01:16,050 --> 00:01:17,074
What's your point?
20
00:01:17,785 --> 00:01:18,911
Hey, I'm just saying,
21
00:01:18,986 --> 00:01:22,717
why don't these men have more
fights when they're competing
to go out with that one female?
22
00:01:22,790 --> 00:01:27,853
They should have leveled that
village by now. It should be all
smoke and blood and blue carcasses.
23
00:01:29,664 --> 00:01:30,995
Then I came up with it.
24
00:01:31,065 --> 00:01:33,863
Y'know why Smurfville never
wiped itself out?
25
00:01:34,769 --> 00:01:38,170
It's real simple
Smurfette gives herself freely
to all the male smurfs.
26
00:01:39,106 --> 00:01:39,970
She sleeps around?
27
00:01:40,074 --> 00:01:42,372
Yeah, Smurfette's the whore
of the village.
28
00:01:42,476 --> 00:01:45,377
She does them all
Everyone lives happily ever after.
29
00:01:45,613 --> 00:01:48,605
No question, Smurfette's
the coolest chick around.
30
00:01:48,683 --> 00:01:51,117
Thank's a lot, you've ruined
my whole childhood.
31
00:01:58,092 --> 00:02:00,925
Ants in the Pants
32
00:02:00,995 --> 00:02:03,555
Tobias Sehenke
33
00:02:03,698 --> 00:02:06,189
Axel Stein Luise Helm
34
00:02:06,234 --> 00:02:08,600
Byorn Kirsehniok Minatander
35
00:02:39,634 --> 00:02:40,931
Produced by: Bernd Eichinger
36
00:02:41,035 --> 00:02:43,731
Directed by: Marc Rothemund
37
00:02:49,377 --> 00:02:54,815
Seeing as I'm going to be telling
you a lot of personal stuff
I'd better introduce myself first.
38
00:02:54,849 --> 00:02:59,149
My name is Florian Thomas
but my friends call me 'Fly'.
39
00:02:59,954 --> 00:03:03,515
You'll probably want to know
the whole story from the beginning
but I'm warning you
40
00:03:03,591 --> 00:03:10,963
It isn't exactly Grimm's fairy tale. As
far as I know there isn't a big ending
everyone lives happily ever after.
41
00:03:11,065 --> 00:03:13,829
But there is definitely
a big beginning.
42
00:03:15,803 --> 00:03:21,173
Hey! Hello! Wake up!
Have you got cotton in your ears?
Hello!
43
00:03:24,478 --> 00:03:29,780
Finally paying attention.
Today's the first day of
the rest of our life.
44
00:03:29,817 --> 00:03:30,681
Our life?
45
00:03:30,785 --> 00:03:32,844
Yep, just the two of us.
46
00:03:35,189 --> 00:03:40,092
At that moment, realised that there
were mysterious forces of nature
that one didn't always understand.
47
00:03:44,832 --> 00:03:46,633
Florian, breakfast.
48
00:03:46,634 --> 00:03:51,037
And even worse,
I soon learned that these forces
were impossible to control.
49
00:03:51,806 --> 00:03:53,967
Psst, slowly look to your right.
50
00:03:56,410 --> 00:03:58,139
Florian, pass the milk please.
51
00:04:00,147 --> 00:04:03,480
Florian, would you please
pass your aunt the milk.
52
00:04:06,020 --> 00:04:08,818
There's nothing as delicious as
creamy fresh milk.
53
00:04:08,923 --> 00:04:11,483
Mmm, especially when it
comes in containers like those.
54
00:04:12,026 --> 00:04:13,288
Watch it...!
55
00:04:14,829 --> 00:04:16,524
Oh, Florian!
56
00:04:18,065 --> 00:04:19,692
It's alright, really.
57
00:04:21,235 --> 00:04:22,235
I'm sorry.
58
00:04:24,138 --> 00:04:24,866
Look, honey.
59
00:04:25,139 --> 00:04:29,405
The drama department will be
performing 'Romeo and Juliet' this
weekend at Florian's high school.
60
00:04:30,044 --> 00:04:32,774
Shakespeare? Not again.
61
00:04:33,848 --> 00:04:36,927
Is there some reason you're not
performing? All your friends
seem to have parts.
62
00:04:36,951 --> 00:04:39,283
Yeah, because their folks are
all forcing them.
63
00:04:41,288 --> 00:04:45,918
I'd love to see you
play the part of Romeo.
Your father played him so well.
64
00:04:48,162 --> 00:04:49,288
Remember, dear?
65
00:04:50,664 --> 00:04:52,222
And I was your Juliet.
66
00:04:52,466 --> 00:04:54,593
And you were the best one ever.
67
00:04:57,004 --> 00:04:59,564
Speaking of school,
can I stay home today, please?
68
00:05:01,876 --> 00:05:03,309
What's wrong with you, Florian?
69
00:05:04,512 --> 00:05:06,776
I feel kind of... upset.
70
00:05:06,881 --> 00:05:08,576
Is it something I said?
71
00:05:09,583 --> 00:05:11,141
Will you die from it?
72
00:05:11,685 --> 00:05:12,913
I hope not.
73
00:05:12,987 --> 00:05:15,649
Good, then you can
make it to school.
74
00:05:17,925 --> 00:05:21,190
Take another look.
You won't see those puppies
until you get home.
75
00:05:37,011 --> 00:05:37,534
Good morning.
76
00:05:37,611 --> 00:05:38,373
Hi, Lisa.
77
00:05:38,446 --> 00:05:39,504
Is Florian ready?
78
00:05:39,613 --> 00:05:40,511
Come in, dear.
79
00:05:40,614 --> 00:05:44,117
He's behaving strangely.
I hope he's not coming down
with something.
80
00:05:44,118 --> 00:05:45,278
Who are you anyway?
81
00:05:45,519 --> 00:05:47,077
C'mon, you know me.
82
00:05:47,154 --> 00:05:49,850
Oh, yeah? You were
never this chatty.
83
00:05:49,924 --> 00:05:52,256
Sure I was.
You just didn't hear me until now.
84
00:05:54,061 --> 00:05:56,086
Fly, who are you talking to?
85
00:05:56,163 --> 00:05:57,653
Why can't you just disappear?
86
00:06:00,534 --> 00:06:01,762
Fly?
87
00:06:11,645 --> 00:06:13,165
You should have
turned left back there.
88
00:06:13,547 --> 00:06:15,347
No. Dear, the hospital's
right up this street.
89
00:06:15,449 --> 00:06:18,907
That's it, buddy.
From now on only
button-fly pants for you.
90
00:06:22,256 --> 00:06:23,416
Almost there.
91
00:06:26,694 --> 00:06:28,389
Ah, this is it.
92
00:06:32,766 --> 00:06:34,700
The animal hospital?
93
00:06:35,302 --> 00:06:38,760
When I say 'now' bite
down on that latex bone
as hard as you can.
94
00:06:39,773 --> 00:06:42,537
Be a good boy...
when we're done I'll make
sure you get a treat.
95
00:06:44,411 --> 00:06:45,537
Get ready...
96
00:06:50,184 --> 00:06:51,184
My pal was relentless.
97
00:06:51,585 --> 00:06:53,780
That experience at the vet
didn't slow him up a bit.
98
00:06:54,622 --> 00:06:57,386
I love school especially
Miss Pringle's geometry.
99
00:06:57,491 --> 00:07:02,895
Such lovely curves. Boy
I'd like to bisect her
equilateral triangle.
100
00:07:09,303 --> 00:07:12,067
Can anyone tell me
what the tangent's radiant is?
101
00:07:13,807 --> 00:07:19,439
Florian? Florian?
102
00:07:23,651 --> 00:07:24,447
Yeah?
103
00:07:24,518 --> 00:07:26,315
Stand up and give us the answer.
104
00:07:27,521 --> 00:07:30,183
He's already up just look.
105
00:07:37,264 --> 00:07:39,926
Ah, summertime.
The heat, the hard bodies.
106
00:07:40,034 --> 00:07:42,332
Oh, what selection what variety!
107
00:07:42,436 --> 00:07:44,836
Everywhere you look
something is hot.
108
00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:48,760
I know what you're thinking...
that he doesn't exist without me.
109
00:07:48,876 --> 00:07:50,844
But you're wrong.
110
00:07:52,880 --> 00:07:55,348
2 hours later
111
00:07:57,585 --> 00:07:59,018
Look at that tasty treat...
112
00:07:59,086 --> 00:07:59,887
or that one.
113
00:07:59,888 --> 00:08:02,981
They've definitely got
my pilot-light going.
How can you be cold?
114
00:08:03,057 --> 00:08:07,221
Not only was I seeing boobs butts
and bodacious babes everywhere,
115
00:08:07,294 --> 00:08:10,058
but this voice in my shorts
was driving me bonkers.
116
00:08:10,164 --> 00:08:12,098
C'mon, let's go for a swim.
117
00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:14,763
What are you waiting for?
Frostbite?
118
00:08:15,369 --> 00:08:17,496
Let's go. Buddy.
I'm shrivelling.
119
00:08:18,973 --> 00:08:21,271
Since he put it that way
I had no choice.
120
00:08:25,879 --> 00:08:29,975
It's like he had a mind of
his own. And his mind only
focuses on one thing.
121
00:08:30,517 --> 00:08:31,882
Lift-off!
122
00:08:32,486 --> 00:08:39,722
Man! What was wrong with me?
I decided to research my problem.
123
00:08:39,793 --> 00:08:42,193
But I couldn't find any answers
in the books I had.
124
00:08:42,529 --> 00:08:44,292
Any good booby shots in there?
125
00:08:44,398 --> 00:08:45,558
Hey, piss off!
126
00:08:45,633 --> 00:08:50,195
Out of desperation I decided
to turn to the two people
who had brought me into the world.
127
00:08:54,041 --> 00:08:58,171
Well, Florian
it's a little hard to explain
but it's simple biology.
128
00:08:58,245 --> 00:09:00,406
The woman gets
a warm feeling in her...
129
00:09:00,514 --> 00:09:02,607
and the man may also...
130
00:09:05,719 --> 00:09:08,017
also have a warm stiff...
131
00:09:08,122 --> 00:09:14,027
Let me handle this, Petra.
Y'see, Florian... it's all biological.
132
00:09:14,628 --> 00:09:16,960
The human body is
like any well-oiled machine.
133
00:09:17,331 --> 00:09:20,767
The heart pumps blood
into all the vital organs.
134
00:09:20,968 --> 00:09:23,232
And then, when the man is
excited by the woman...
135
00:09:23,337 --> 00:09:25,737
Because he is
so in love with that woman...
136
00:09:25,773 --> 00:09:28,742
Well, a lot of blood
rushes down to his...
137
00:09:32,479 --> 00:09:33,741
...wee-wee.
138
00:09:37,184 --> 00:09:41,746
I mean, this isn't a woman
that the man has met casually
just walking down the street.
139
00:09:41,855 --> 00:09:44,756
He's dreamed about her his whole life.
In fact he wants to tie the knot.
140
00:09:44,858 --> 00:09:49,659
Petra, would you stop interrupting?
We're not discussing marriage here.
This is biology.
141
00:09:49,697 --> 00:09:52,291
I don't want him to think
he can have these feelings lightly.
142
00:09:52,366 --> 00:09:55,802
You feel this way about girls
who are very very special.
143
00:09:55,869 --> 00:09:59,706
Now, as I was saying
the blood is pumped...
144
00:09:59,707 --> 00:10:02,175
and the wee-wee gets larger...
145
00:10:02,876 --> 00:10:07,677
and larger... and closer and...
146
00:10:07,715 --> 00:10:12,778
What your father is attempting to
say is that the man puts his we-wee
147
00:10:16,990 --> 00:10:19,788
...he puts it into
the woman's flowerpot.
148
00:10:23,997 --> 00:10:25,375
It's better if you stay out of this.
149
00:10:25,399 --> 00:10:26,399
Why is that?
150
00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:28,991
Because you're confusing him.
Where did you get 'flowerpot'?
151
00:10:29,303 --> 00:10:32,568
Well, your 'wee-wee' sounds
like a piglet in a nursery-rhyme.
152
00:10:34,641 --> 00:10:40,079
Look, Florian
what we're trying to say is
this thing between your legs is...
153
00:10:40,214 --> 00:10:43,115
...not only used just to
go to the toilet.
154
00:10:44,418 --> 00:10:49,720
It's like a very good friend.
You have your whole life ahead of you.
155
00:10:49,757 --> 00:10:52,726
Life is like a long road-trip
and it can be a lonely
one at times.
156
00:10:52,826 --> 00:10:56,728
So it's nice to have
a dear friend along for
the company and support.
157
00:10:59,133 --> 00:11:01,294
Parents mean well
but this was serious.
158
00:11:01,368 --> 00:11:04,826
So I decided to consult
the most manly guy at school.
159
00:11:06,673 --> 00:11:09,836
If Coach didn't know
what was wrong with me
I knew no-one would.
160
00:11:11,245 --> 00:11:14,510
I'm tuned-in. Son.
I know exactly what's happening.
161
00:11:14,581 --> 00:11:16,674
Many guys experience
what you're going through.
162
00:11:18,385 --> 00:11:19,079
I'm not unique?
163
00:11:19,153 --> 00:11:20,153
That's right.
164
00:11:20,754 --> 00:11:26,784
And you mustn't go through
life always being ashamed. In fact
for many years, I was ashamed.
165
00:11:26,860 --> 00:11:28,020
You were?
166
00:11:29,997 --> 00:11:31,965
Are you anxious
about your problem?
167
00:11:32,566 --> 00:11:35,763
Yeah, well, sort of.
It wants to control me.
168
00:11:35,869 --> 00:11:37,769
I hear it telling me to...
169
00:11:37,805 --> 00:11:40,103
Listen, none of that matters.
170
00:11:40,507 --> 00:11:43,772
Don't forget.
Homosexuality is totally normal.
171
00:11:45,579 --> 00:11:48,173
And you are normal.
172
00:11:48,782 --> 00:11:50,147
Thanks for your help.
173
00:11:50,217 --> 00:11:51,684
I was getting nowhere, fast.
174
00:11:51,785 --> 00:11:55,585
The only person I had left to talk
to was my best friend Red Bull.
175
00:12:01,195 --> 00:12:05,894
All I can say is it is
definitely about time, Fly. Here.
176
00:12:11,805 --> 00:12:12,805
Are you positive?
177
00:12:14,241 --> 00:12:20,111
No question. If your willy hadn't
started talking to you with
all these women running around
178
00:12:20,214 --> 00:12:21,977
then I'd be really
worried about you, Fly.
179
00:12:22,316 --> 00:12:23,442
Yeah, but
180
00:12:23,517 --> 00:12:25,678
he's totally driving me
bughouse, dude.
181
00:12:25,752 --> 00:12:27,549
I mean how can I get him to shut up?
182
00:12:27,621 --> 00:12:30,784
Why rock the boat?
Just let him talk.
183
00:12:43,670 --> 00:12:45,638
Like kids my age I go to school.
184
00:12:45,939 --> 00:12:48,772
And like most kids
my age I have no choice.
185
00:12:48,842 --> 00:12:52,141
But my friends and
I make the best of it.
186
00:13:09,663 --> 00:13:10,823
What's up with you guys?
187
00:13:10,898 --> 00:13:12,798
Nothing much. Only...
188
00:13:13,367 --> 00:13:15,494
Fly's pecker has been
talking to him.
189
00:13:17,070 --> 00:13:18,162
Hey! Wait a minute...!
190
00:13:18,272 --> 00:13:20,035
Entire sentences?
191
00:13:21,375 --> 00:13:23,536
How come you had to go
and broadcast it to everyone?
192
00:13:24,378 --> 00:13:25,470
What does he say to you?
193
00:13:25,979 --> 00:13:27,537
Stuff... I don't know.
194
00:13:28,515 --> 00:13:31,211
I guess mostly he gives me advice.
195
00:13:31,285 --> 00:13:32,343
Cool!
196
00:13:32,419 --> 00:13:35,684
Is he good at math?
I could use some help
with my homework.
197
00:13:35,789 --> 00:13:38,622
Awesome, dude.
My banana doesn't speak to me.
198
00:13:38,692 --> 00:13:41,593
That's because you don't have one.
It's understandable.
199
00:13:41,628 --> 00:13:43,755
Sshh, can it Sean.
We have a 'babe-alert'
200
00:13:44,431 --> 00:13:45,864
Oh, my God!
201
00:13:51,638 --> 00:13:53,105
She's a bomb!
202
00:13:53,206 --> 00:13:56,698
My sister said Leone slept
with the entire football team.
203
00:13:57,844 --> 00:13:58,970
You bitch.
204
00:13:59,046 --> 00:14:00,570
I'm going to sign up for football.
205
00:14:00,647 --> 00:14:03,445
At that second it struck me
like a flash of lightning.
206
00:14:03,517 --> 00:14:06,213
This was that special girl
mom was talking about.
207
00:14:06,320 --> 00:14:08,049
There's our flowerpot.
208
00:14:08,121 --> 00:14:13,252
Leone... even her name
sounded like sweet music.
209
00:14:13,627 --> 00:14:16,653
Leone
210
00:14:20,934 --> 00:14:22,925
Hey, bonerhead, wake up.
Let's follow her.
211
00:14:25,272 --> 00:14:29,299
Just put one foot in front of
the other. It's called walking.
212
00:14:46,660 --> 00:14:50,118
Look out, here comes Kye.
/Move it, geek!
213
00:14:55,068 --> 00:14:57,559
I suppose you heard what
Kye did to Kevin last Monday.
214
00:14:57,671 --> 00:14:58,797
No, what?
215
00:14:58,872 --> 00:15:01,204
He held the guy over
the dirtiest toilet in school,
216
00:15:01,274 --> 00:15:08,737
It hadn't been cleaned in forty years
and he gave the kid a 'swirly'
He even tried to flush him down.
217
00:15:14,988 --> 00:15:16,308
You know what that was all about?
218
00:15:16,690 --> 00:15:18,624
Because Kevin looked at
Leone a little too long.
219
00:15:18,692 --> 00:15:20,284
That was all?
220
00:15:24,698 --> 00:15:26,256
Do you plan to
say anything, Sparky?
221
00:15:26,333 --> 00:15:27,960
I have no words.
222
00:15:28,235 --> 00:15:29,998
You have no words for what?
223
00:15:31,038 --> 00:15:32,596
To describe how I feel.
224
00:15:32,706 --> 00:15:34,833
Oh, yeah.
I'm a theatre fan myself.
225
00:15:35,842 --> 00:15:37,104
Say what?
226
00:15:37,911 --> 00:15:39,811
Oh, Romeo and Juliet.
227
00:15:40,113 --> 00:15:42,104
That's right. I play Juliet.
228
00:15:42,149 --> 00:15:45,016
She's the tragic heroine that
everyone falls in love with.
229
00:15:47,554 --> 00:15:49,283
Remember, it's this weekend?
230
00:15:50,624 --> 00:15:52,785
Will you be going?
231
00:15:55,028 --> 00:15:56,928
Go on and touch them.
They're probably real.
232
00:16:02,135 --> 00:16:04,035
Yep, they're real. How about a kiss?
233
00:16:06,139 --> 00:16:10,838
Hey, that doesn't go in your mouth.
Aaw, just when things were
getting interesting.
234
00:16:16,583 --> 00:16:20,144
So, my name's Leone.
What's yours?
235
00:16:22,289 --> 00:16:23,289
What?
236
00:16:25,258 --> 00:16:28,887
Frenchy?
Oh, you're French. How nice.
237
00:16:29,696 --> 00:16:30,890
Oh, I just love French.
238
00:16:31,398 --> 00:16:32,865
Say something to me in French.
239
00:16:34,568 --> 00:16:36,229
That's so romantic.
240
00:16:39,806 --> 00:16:40,830
Are you ok?
241
00:16:44,478 --> 00:16:47,242
Are you interested in
becoming a stage performer?
242
00:16:47,314 --> 00:16:48,212
Yes yes yes!
243
00:16:48,281 --> 00:16:49,281
A stage performer?
244
00:16:49,382 --> 00:16:50,382
Say yes!
245
00:16:50,784 --> 00:16:52,479
Oh, yeah. It's my hobby.
246
00:16:53,286 --> 00:16:56,187
But I seldom get a chance to
show off my talent any more.
247
00:16:56,289 --> 00:16:57,313
Well, you're in luck.
248
00:16:58,325 --> 00:17:00,657
Kevin, our under-study for Romeo
just left the show.
249
00:17:01,294 --> 00:17:02,294
Kevin?
250
00:17:04,731 --> 00:17:05,789
I don't think so.
251
00:17:09,836 --> 00:17:10,734
For me
252
00:17:10,804 --> 00:17:11,862
Please?
253
00:17:11,938 --> 00:17:14,099
My parents aren't home Friday
so come to the house.
254
00:17:14,207 --> 00:17:19,611
We can practice undisturbed.
Just the two of us. We'll have fun.
255
00:17:19,713 --> 00:17:20,975
Ooo, fun fun fun.
256
00:17:22,849 --> 00:17:23,679
Ok.
257
00:17:23,750 --> 00:17:25,445
On Friday, there's a full moon.
258
00:17:25,519 --> 00:17:26,645
What?
259
00:17:27,354 --> 00:17:29,845
You know, a 'full moon'.
260
00:17:31,424 --> 00:17:32,288
A big boy like you
261
00:17:32,359 --> 00:17:36,819
doesn't need an encyclopedia
to know what that means.
/Uh, no, of course not.
262
00:17:36,863 --> 00:17:38,091
Ok, that's enough.
263
00:17:38,165 --> 00:17:40,633
Hi, Kye. This is my new friend.
264
00:17:41,334 --> 00:17:47,330
He's willing to help me with my lines.
He'll come over Friday and we'll
practice them together.
265
00:17:47,440 --> 00:17:49,772
I thought I was coming over that day.
266
00:17:50,677 --> 00:17:57,674
Maybe if you'd shown a little interest
in what I approached you then you
could have rehearsed your part with me.
267
00:17:57,751 --> 00:18:00,845
But you passed. So I found
someone else to practice with me...
268
00:18:00,954 --> 00:18:04,481
You better watch yourself.
/You and I are going to be
meeting up again real soon.
269
00:18:05,959 --> 00:18:06,288
See you.
270
00:18:06,359 --> 00:18:09,419
Bingo! See how easy it is
when you listen to me?
271
00:18:13,266 --> 00:18:14,699
Alone with Leone?
272
00:18:14,768 --> 00:18:16,258
Friday afternoon?
273
00:18:16,803 --> 00:18:17,861
At her house?
274
00:18:19,272 --> 00:18:20,272
That's amazing!
275
00:18:20,907 --> 00:18:21,907
That's bitchin!
276
00:18:23,577 --> 00:18:24,954
What's so great about her? Tell me.
277
00:18:24,978 --> 00:18:27,606
A couple of things
and they're right out front to see.
278
00:18:27,681 --> 00:18:28,875
Settle please...
279
00:18:28,982 --> 00:18:29,846
thank you.
280
00:18:29,916 --> 00:18:33,317
As soon as Patricia gets her tongue
dislodged from George's ear
281
00:18:33,386 --> 00:18:35,650
I'll be happy to continue.
282
00:18:38,925 --> 00:18:43,089
Now, as everyone knows
we have only five days left
before saturday's performance.
283
00:18:43,897 --> 00:18:44,974
How many lines do you have?
284
00:18:44,998 --> 00:18:46,556
Only one. Why?
285
00:18:47,601 --> 00:18:50,832
Before we begin today's rehearsal
I have a small announcement to make.
286
00:18:51,304 --> 00:18:54,705
As some of you may be aware
Kevin isn't here today.
287
00:18:55,108 --> 00:18:56,666
He's not well.
288
00:18:57,210 --> 00:18:59,110
He had a very traumatic experience.
289
00:18:59,212 --> 00:19:00,212
In the bathroom.
290
00:19:01,314 --> 00:19:03,805
As you know, the part he was
under-studying is important.
291
00:19:04,417 --> 00:19:05,907
And if Casper gets sick...
292
00:19:06,019 --> 00:19:08,146
Me? No way.
293
00:19:08,221 --> 00:19:10,451
...then we'd have a gigantic problem.
294
00:19:10,924 --> 00:19:12,653
But, because of Leone's help,
295
00:19:12,726 --> 00:19:15,320
Florian is our new under-study
for the part of Romeo.
296
00:19:17,631 --> 00:19:19,622
Huh? I'm under-studying Romeo?
297
00:19:20,333 --> 00:19:26,363
We should give a big round of
applause to the guy for taking on
this assignment with such short notice.
298
00:19:26,473 --> 00:19:30,933
To learn hundreds and hundreds of
impossible lines in Ancient English.
299
00:19:32,279 --> 00:19:35,544
Way to go, man.
Why didn't you tell us?
300
00:19:35,649 --> 00:19:36,980
Want to say anything, Florian?
301
00:19:38,752 --> 00:19:39,810
I have something to say.
302
00:19:40,654 --> 00:19:41,177
Who are you?
303
00:19:41,254 --> 00:19:42,516
I'm Kyle.
304
00:19:43,156 --> 00:19:48,617
Someone else got suddenly sick so
I've decided to step in and take
over their part in the play myself.
305
00:19:52,666 --> 00:19:53,666
Show off.
306
00:19:55,769 --> 00:20:00,399
Not only do I have to learn all of
the lines for Romeo but the class
psychopath is out to get me now.
307
00:20:00,473 --> 00:20:03,772
Don't worry about learning all
those lines. Casper won't get sick.
308
00:20:03,977 --> 00:20:08,141
Kyle won't be able to get near you.
You're never alone.
You've got us, your friends.
309
00:20:08,214 --> 00:20:10,614
That's right.
There's safety in numbers.
310
00:20:10,684 --> 00:20:16,714
If that moron Kye ever comes near you
I'll teach him a lesson.
311
00:20:23,330 --> 00:20:28,529
Listen to me real good, you little rug rat.
You stay away from my girl friend
do you understand?
312
00:20:28,601 --> 00:20:31,035
Your middle name is
going to be changed to 'swirly'
313
00:20:31,104 --> 00:20:34,505
If I ever catch you looking at
her again... is that clear?
314
00:20:34,541 --> 00:20:41,470
According to my encyclopedia, full moons
make people a little wild and
bring out tremendous passions in them.
315
00:20:41,815 --> 00:20:44,010
Nine months later many
babies are born.
316
00:20:46,419 --> 00:20:47,419
Oh, my god.
317
00:20:48,521 --> 00:20:50,216
She wants to have sex with me.
318
00:20:51,124 --> 00:20:52,785
Oh, man, that's awesome!
319
00:20:55,428 --> 00:20:57,953
Oh, man, that's awesome!
She's a real pro.
320
00:20:58,031 --> 00:20:59,157
Well, I'm not.
321
00:20:59,232 --> 00:21:02,111
She's going to expect a real lot
from you 'cos she knows
what she's doing.
322
00:21:02,135 --> 00:21:04,228
And you, you've got to get ready.
323
00:21:04,337 --> 00:21:09,172
You've got to be a sex-machine.
Women always want a lot.
You've got to make her see stars.
324
00:21:09,943 --> 00:21:13,242
Hey, if she's not satisfied,
you can never show your face around school.
325
00:21:13,346 --> 00:21:14,404
Oh, man!
326
00:21:14,581 --> 00:21:17,345
I hear she's done every position
in the Karma Sutra.
327
00:21:17,484 --> 00:21:18,484
Karma-what?
328
00:21:18,752 --> 00:21:22,313
Remember when you got that
remote-control car a few months ago?
/Yeah.
329
00:21:22,455 --> 00:21:24,423
It came with a manual to operate it.
330
00:21:24,491 --> 00:21:25,583
Yeah, so?
331
00:21:25,658 --> 00:21:28,650
Well, the Karma Sutra is like a manual
on how to operate women.
332
00:21:29,162 --> 00:21:29,719
Really?
333
00:21:29,796 --> 00:21:32,890
Yeah, but girls don't come with them.
You have to buy them separately.
334
00:21:36,102 --> 00:21:36,703
Hey, Red.
335
00:21:36,703 --> 00:21:37,499
What?
336
00:21:37,570 --> 00:21:39,731
I've got a bad feeling about this.
337
00:21:41,775 --> 00:21:44,266
Hello, I'll take this copy
of the Karma Sutra please.
338
00:21:44,377 --> 00:21:47,505
Excuse me young man,
but you're not old enough to buy this book.
339
00:21:47,981 --> 00:21:49,261
Red, let's just forget about it.
340
00:21:49,315 --> 00:21:55,811
How are we supposed to learn about
making love if you won't allow us
to buy a book on it.
341
00:21:55,889 --> 00:21:58,483
Sex is dangerous dammit
if you don't know much about it.
342
00:21:58,591 --> 00:22:00,803
We could contract a serious disease
and pass out of the picture.
343
00:22:00,827 --> 00:22:02,692
Imagine the guilt.
Could you bear it?
344
00:22:02,796 --> 00:22:06,596
How will you sleep knowing
two young boys are rotting
in the ground six feet under?
345
00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:08,430
Alright! Alright! Go ahead.
346
00:22:08,501 --> 00:22:09,501
What?
347
00:22:10,437 --> 00:22:11,734
That'll be $24.50.
348
00:22:11,805 --> 00:22:12,863
Ok.
349
00:22:17,210 --> 00:22:21,704
Hey man, no matter what they say
sex is all about technique.
350
00:22:22,715 --> 00:22:23,977
This is supposed to be fun?
351
00:22:24,651 --> 00:22:25,549
Look at that one?
352
00:22:25,618 --> 00:22:27,677
"The Blow of the Lumberjack".
353
00:22:29,923 --> 00:22:31,948
Leone knows all these positions?
354
00:22:33,026 --> 00:22:37,292
You worry too much.
There are only about...
355
00:22:38,131 --> 00:22:39,462
356
355
00:22:40,867 --> 00:22:43,893
To try to learn 69 positions
in 4 days was impossible.
357
00:22:44,437 --> 00:22:45,437
Florian.
358
00:22:46,840 --> 00:22:47,840
Yeah?
359
00:22:49,042 --> 00:22:51,010
Homework hell? How's it going?
360
00:22:51,878 --> 00:22:52,742
Good.
361
00:22:52,846 --> 00:22:55,440
We'll be back in a few hours.
Don't stay up too late.
362
00:22:55,548 --> 00:22:58,949
190-566-566.
363
00:22:59,686 --> 00:23:02,587
190-566-566.
364
00:23:03,656 --> 00:23:05,647
What are you waiting for?
Give her a buzz.
365
00:23:06,693 --> 00:23:08,854
Welcome to the 'Sex-line'.
MasterCard or Visa?
366
00:23:09,863 --> 00:23:10,863
Hello,
367
00:23:11,164 --> 00:23:12,256
MasterCard.
368
00:23:12,365 --> 00:23:13,389
Cardholder's name?
369
00:23:14,667 --> 00:23:15,895
Patrick Thomas.
370
00:23:15,969 --> 00:23:18,665
Thank you Miss Thomas. Enjoy.
371
00:23:18,771 --> 00:23:22,707
Press a number now to select
a qualified teacher for your needs.
372
00:23:22,976 --> 00:23:25,103
For Professor Pamela, press one...
373
00:23:25,211 --> 00:23:26,872
for Professor Candy, press two...
374
00:23:26,980 --> 00:23:29,278
for Professor Lolita, press three...
375
00:23:29,382 --> 00:23:31,509
for Doctor Andreas, press four.
376
00:23:31,584 --> 00:23:32,584
Andreas?
377
00:23:32,685 --> 00:23:35,210
No, don't pick her
Go for the sugary one, number two.
378
00:23:39,592 --> 00:23:40,456
Hello sweetie,
379
00:23:40,527 --> 00:23:41,892
I'm Professor Candy.
380
00:23:42,896 --> 00:23:44,124
What's your name?
381
00:23:44,898 --> 00:23:45,922
Um... Florian.
382
00:23:45,999 --> 00:23:48,058
What can I do for you Florian
383
00:23:50,403 --> 00:23:52,064
I've got a question about safety.
384
00:23:53,306 --> 00:23:55,638
How safe is
'The Blow of the Lumberjack'?
385
00:23:55,742 --> 00:23:57,369
Blow a lumberjack?
386
00:23:57,443 --> 00:24:02,710
A friend of mine was in an exercise
class last week, he was only
trying to touch his toes and he...
387
00:24:02,815 --> 00:24:05,215
Listen, Florian
I have a better idea.
388
00:24:05,451 --> 00:24:06,884
Why don't we talk about you?
389
00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:09,345
You know you have
a very sexy voice.
390
00:24:10,156 --> 00:24:10,713
Yeah?
391
00:24:10,823 --> 00:24:11,983
Y'know what?
392
00:24:12,058 --> 00:24:14,185
Just hearing your
sensual voice has already
393
00:24:14,260 --> 00:24:17,423
got my little pussy starting to purr.
394
00:24:18,364 --> 00:24:19,364
Really?
395
00:24:20,633 --> 00:24:24,194
Y'know, my own cat got run
over last summer on the
freeway by a truck.
396
00:24:24,370 --> 00:24:27,464
Your father forgot
something... typical.
397
00:24:28,341 --> 00:24:29,603
Is your homework completed?
398
00:24:29,676 --> 00:24:30,540
Well, just about.
399
00:24:30,643 --> 00:24:33,168
C'mon, give my little tiger a bone.
400
00:24:33,580 --> 00:24:35,810
Is one of your friends on the phone?
401
00:24:36,049 --> 00:24:37,277
It's Lisa.
402
00:24:37,350 --> 00:24:38,350
Oh, good.
403
00:24:41,254 --> 00:24:44,189
Good heavens Florian.
She sounds like she's very sick.
404
00:24:44,757 --> 00:24:45,689
It's just a little cold.
405
00:24:45,758 --> 00:24:47,282
Let me say hello...
406
00:24:48,761 --> 00:24:49,761
Lisa.
407
00:24:51,264 --> 00:24:52,264
Oh, my god!
408
00:24:53,166 --> 00:24:54,166
I'll call you back.
409
00:24:56,269 --> 00:24:58,669
I had a nice chat with
candy and her cat
410
00:24:58,771 --> 00:25:00,571
but I still don't know
what was up with that.
411
00:25:01,708 --> 00:25:05,872
Sex and romance don't seem to drive
but the Karma Sutra says
I've got to keep them both alive.
412
00:25:07,513 --> 00:25:08,557
I wonder how they're related.
413
00:25:08,581 --> 00:25:10,776
Beats me. I think it's
something adults invented.
414
00:25:10,883 --> 00:25:12,714
Hey, romance is
overrated anyway.
415
00:25:12,785 --> 00:25:14,013
Look at that!
416
00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:17,448
There's nothing better
a double-dip on a hot day.
417
00:25:23,696 --> 00:25:24,807
It looks more difficult than it is.
418
00:25:24,831 --> 00:25:25,831
Do you think so?
419
00:25:25,898 --> 00:25:27,957
Yeah. C'mere...
420
00:25:31,838 --> 00:25:33,118
...alright, you stand on one leg
421
00:25:34,307 --> 00:25:35,604
while I lift the other.
422
00:25:41,514 --> 00:25:42,674
Oh, I'm sorry.
423
00:25:42,749 --> 00:25:44,029
Didn't mean to disturb you guys.
424
00:25:45,251 --> 00:25:46,251
Just carry on.
425
00:25:52,025 --> 00:25:56,121
My chatty little buddy said to forget about
romance but I had a feeling he was lying.
426
00:25:56,663 --> 00:25:58,255
Hey pal, why would I lie to you?
427
00:25:58,331 --> 00:25:59,855
Trust me.
428
00:26:01,734 --> 00:26:04,374
These lines shift according to
the politics of the day.
Sometimes...
429
00:26:04,437 --> 00:26:08,669
What would Leone find romantic?
I knew I couldn't just
go up to her and ask.
430
00:26:09,275 --> 00:26:10,275
Lisa.
431
00:26:12,245 --> 00:26:13,303
Do you want to have sex?
432
00:26:13,379 --> 00:26:14,710
No way Red Bull.
433
00:26:14,781 --> 00:26:15,805
No way Red Bull.
434
00:26:15,882 --> 00:26:17,975
Red
435
00:26:19,052 --> 00:26:20,052
Come up front.
436
00:26:25,558 --> 00:26:27,158
Sorry Mrs. Mueller
what was the question?
437
00:26:27,260 --> 00:26:30,354
Indicate to the class where
the Flatlands of Europe
can be found.
438
00:26:38,404 --> 00:26:40,770
Um... they're right... here.
439
00:26:57,090 --> 00:27:00,092
I don't know what to do. They're
just not getting very big yet.
440
00:27:00,093 --> 00:27:01,720
I keep checking in the mirror
441
00:27:01,794 --> 00:27:03,523
but nothing's happening.
442
00:27:06,399 --> 00:27:08,560
I don't have big breasts
that flop around.
443
00:27:09,602 --> 00:27:10,728
Does it bother you?
444
00:27:10,803 --> 00:27:12,361
You better believe it, toots.
445
00:27:12,438 --> 00:27:14,906
No problem at all.
446
00:27:16,008 --> 00:27:18,602
I mean, on the bright side
you save money.
447
00:27:18,711 --> 00:27:20,372
You don't need a bra.
448
00:27:26,519 --> 00:27:29,249
I mean... boobs,
449
00:27:29,822 --> 00:27:30,686
They're overrated.
450
00:27:30,823 --> 00:27:31,823
Liar.
451
00:27:34,026 --> 00:27:35,026
Liar.
452
00:27:37,230 --> 00:27:38,230
Let's go back inside.
453
00:27:42,335 --> 00:27:44,496
Red Bull organized
a field-trip for the two of us.
454
00:27:44,570 --> 00:27:46,538
Knowing him, I didn't expect much
455
00:27:46,639 --> 00:27:48,732
but it turned out to be pretty cool.
456
00:27:51,844 --> 00:27:52,401
Mother!
457
00:27:52,478 --> 00:27:53,342
Mommy!
458
00:27:53,446 --> 00:27:54,446
Get out!
459
00:27:55,047 --> 00:27:56,047
Are you demented?
460
00:27:59,886 --> 00:28:01,126
Mom?
Just looking for my mother.
461
00:28:01,154 --> 00:28:01,916
Mom?
462
00:28:01,988 --> 00:28:02,988
Occupied!
463
00:28:04,757 --> 00:28:05,757
Do I know you?
464
00:28:06,859 --> 00:28:08,019
Florian!
465
00:28:13,366 --> 00:28:13,730
You're not my mother!
466
00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:14,960
And you're not my son.
467
00:28:16,502 --> 00:28:20,029
The first thing to learn is
opening the bra... brasiers.
468
00:28:20,406 --> 00:28:25,275
Next you need to learn the various bra
sizes. It's considered a basic requirement.
469
00:28:25,878 --> 00:28:29,405
They start in A, which is
the smallest... and they
go up to a D
470
00:28:30,316 --> 00:28:31,408
How big is Leone?
471
00:28:32,018 --> 00:28:33,713
I think she'd be a solid C.
472
00:28:33,786 --> 00:28:36,448
Unless, of course
she wears a wonderbra.
473
00:28:36,823 --> 00:28:38,051
Then you can't tell.
474
00:28:38,691 --> 00:28:40,818
Yeah, but how do you know
what you'll be getting.
475
00:28:42,295 --> 00:28:45,492
They don't want you to know.
That's why they wear them
in the first place.
476
00:28:46,332 --> 00:28:47,128
How sneaky.
477
00:28:47,200 --> 00:28:48,861
Can I help you with something?
478
00:28:49,302 --> 00:28:53,033
Yes. My friend needs
a bra for... his mother.
479
00:28:57,210 --> 00:28:59,735
Very well. What size is your mother?
480
00:29:00,947 --> 00:29:03,814
He's forgotten. But if you show him
some he'll remember.
481
00:29:06,619 --> 00:29:08,519
Don't forget to watch how they open.
482
00:29:09,155 --> 00:29:12,249
Because some unfasten in the front
others unfasten at the back.
483
00:29:12,325 --> 00:29:14,919
Some un-snap
some have catches.
484
00:29:15,528 --> 00:29:17,359
Well, how do you know
which is which?
485
00:29:17,430 --> 00:29:19,796
You don't. That's the problem.
486
00:29:20,867 --> 00:29:22,835
Opening a bra is like playing poker.
487
00:29:23,035 --> 00:29:26,596
You need some skill to pull it off
and a whole bunch of luck.
488
00:29:26,739 --> 00:29:30,698
Ok, there's this brasier
and another style
489
00:29:31,077 --> 00:29:33,545
and there are these two choices.
490
00:29:35,248 --> 00:29:37,876
You see
this one opens at the front.
491
00:29:40,686 --> 00:29:42,206
Does your mother wear
that type of bra?
492
00:29:43,289 --> 00:29:44,289
Sure.
493
00:29:44,757 --> 00:29:46,418
Now try to open it with one hand.
494
00:29:46,759 --> 00:29:47,759
Are you serious?
495
00:29:48,060 --> 00:29:51,518
Yeah. And hooks can really be a bitch.
Snaps are a lot easier.
496
00:29:52,064 --> 00:29:53,759
You've got to keep
the other hand free.
497
00:29:54,166 --> 00:29:58,102
Ok, that's it. Out! Now!
498
00:30:02,174 --> 00:30:03,174
Wait a minute.
499
00:30:04,176 --> 00:30:05,871
You misunderstand
what's going on.
500
00:30:06,812 --> 00:30:10,270
My friend's mother over there was
in a serious automobile accident.
501
00:30:12,585 --> 00:30:13,585
You poor thing.
502
00:30:13,686 --> 00:30:17,349
His father wasn't so lucky.
They're still looking for
the top of him.
503
00:30:18,090 --> 00:30:21,389
So young Florian here...
he's all she has left.
504
00:30:27,199 --> 00:30:32,762
Oh... you boys practice
as long as you need to.
Take the time to get it right.
505
00:30:34,006 --> 00:30:35,633
My family thanks you.
506
00:30:37,510 --> 00:30:39,501
Lesson two is the lower half.
507
00:30:39,946 --> 00:30:41,675
How to get a woman out of her pants.
508
00:30:42,014 --> 00:30:44,278
A lot of women wear skin-tight jeans.
509
00:30:44,350 --> 00:30:49,652
You need a crowbar to remove them.
It's almost an impossible task to do
even, if the girl helps you.
510
00:30:49,722 --> 00:30:52,316
Try taking them off without
her noticing it's happening.
511
00:30:52,425 --> 00:30:53,756
I think I'm lost.
512
00:30:53,826 --> 00:30:56,420
You can't be crude and say
"Hey babe, drop 'em".
513
00:30:56,529 --> 00:30:58,258
If she's turned off, it's over.
514
00:30:58,331 --> 00:31:04,634
She wants to get naked too... only
you know the way girls are.
She'd never admit it.
515
00:31:04,837 --> 00:31:07,305
You have to peel them off
her from the front.
516
00:31:07,373 --> 00:31:08,533
But how?
517
00:31:08,774 --> 00:31:13,302
Make up a story, something amazing
and wild as you're waving one hand
right in front of her face.
518
00:31:13,446 --> 00:31:18,110
This will distract her so
you can pull down her pants
with your other free hand.
519
00:31:18,184 --> 00:31:19,651
I've never heard of that technique.
520
00:31:19,752 --> 00:31:24,712
Only have sex after they get married?
521
00:31:24,857 --> 00:31:25,414
I don't know.
522
00:31:25,491 --> 00:31:27,015
The answers are
right in front of you.
523
00:31:27,460 --> 00:31:29,087
Italians speak with both hands.
524
00:31:29,195 --> 00:31:32,221
Did you ever see an Italian guy
who spoke with just one hand?
525
00:31:32,365 --> 00:31:32,831
I guess not.
526
00:31:32,965 --> 00:31:34,091
That's right.
527
00:31:34,700 --> 00:31:38,033
With no hands free
he's forced to marry her just so
she'll undress for him.
528
00:31:38,104 --> 00:31:39,867
That sucks.
529
00:31:40,172 --> 00:31:42,453
That's why the Catholic Church has
so much power in Italy.
530
00:31:42,575 --> 00:31:46,011
If a grown man wants to undress
a woman he has to marry her first.
531
00:31:46,479 --> 00:31:47,489
Have you seen the phone anywhere?
532
00:31:47,513 --> 00:31:52,314
Florian took it to his room to call Lisa.
They're doing homework on it.
533
00:31:54,020 --> 00:31:57,581
Amazing. He just keeps surprising me.
534
00:31:58,190 --> 00:32:00,454
Dig your claws into my back...
535
00:32:00,526 --> 00:32:01,823
Scratch me!
536
00:32:01,894 --> 00:32:08,265
Deeper! Harder!
Give my pussy a wild ride, cowboy.
537
00:32:08,901 --> 00:32:10,766
Alright
let's rehearse this like a movie.
538
00:32:11,704 --> 00:32:14,400
Here we go...
places everyone and...
539
00:32:14,840 --> 00:32:15,465
Action!
540
00:32:15,541 --> 00:32:18,999
Come cruel...
541
00:32:19,311 --> 00:32:21,302
Stop!
What the hell are you doing?
542
00:32:22,815 --> 00:32:24,043
Professor, you said 'action'.
543
00:32:24,850 --> 00:32:26,283
Kye, you're playing a musician.
544
00:32:26,352 --> 00:32:27,512
Yeah, so?
545
00:32:27,953 --> 00:32:30,615
Musicians don't carry weapons.
They carry guitars... hey!
546
00:32:36,362 --> 00:32:37,362
George!
547
00:32:39,432 --> 00:32:40,432
What's up?
548
00:32:42,735 --> 00:32:45,727
I was more and more convinced
there was something wrong with me.
549
00:32:46,539 --> 00:32:47,870
I mean, everywhere I looked,
550
00:32:47,940 --> 00:32:49,168
I saw Leones.
551
00:32:52,678 --> 00:32:53,678
Big Leones...
552
00:32:55,648 --> 00:32:57,081
Little Leones...
553
00:32:58,150 --> 00:32:59,412
Thin Leones...
554
00:33:00,986 --> 00:33:02,248
Fat Leones
555
00:33:03,656 --> 00:33:05,214
They were everywhere.
556
00:33:05,858 --> 00:33:07,519
I was so worried about Friday
557
00:33:08,661 --> 00:33:10,288
and time was running out fast.
558
00:33:11,063 --> 00:33:12,621
Florian, what's going on?
559
00:33:13,399 --> 00:33:16,425
Well, I like this one person but
I'm so nervous around her
560
00:33:16,502 --> 00:33:19,699
that I haven't been able to tell her yet.
She won't want to know anyway.
561
00:33:19,772 --> 00:33:21,262
Don't be so negative.
562
00:33:22,475 --> 00:33:24,534
So I thought it would be nice to
buy her a present.
563
00:33:24,610 --> 00:33:26,237
Yeah, a flavored condom.
564
00:33:26,312 --> 00:33:27,802
Oh, really? What for?
565
00:33:28,180 --> 00:33:29,841
Just so she'd notice me.
566
00:33:29,915 --> 00:33:31,473
I'd get her attention.
567
00:33:32,184 --> 00:33:33,481
How about a ring?
568
00:33:34,920 --> 00:33:35,920
You mean it?
569
00:33:36,288 --> 00:33:38,279
To remember me
when I'm not around.
570
00:33:40,593 --> 00:33:42,185
I hope you know her finger size.
571
00:33:47,199 --> 00:33:49,292
I'd say she's just about your size.
572
00:33:51,203 --> 00:33:54,695
Then I guess I should keep you company
when you go to get the ring.
573
00:33:55,107 --> 00:33:56,131
Does Friday work?
574
00:33:57,009 --> 00:33:58,009
That'd be great.
575
00:33:58,511 --> 00:33:59,978
Ok, that's perfect.
576
00:34:04,517 --> 00:34:09,921
Red Bull's next lesson concerned
other people's privacy and how to
effectively invade it.
577
00:34:11,123 --> 00:34:13,114
It looks like
we're about to hit paydirt...
578
00:34:13,726 --> 00:34:15,353
...ah, false alarm.
579
00:34:15,961 --> 00:34:18,623
Do you always spyin' on your neighbors?
580
00:34:18,731 --> 00:34:20,221
Not constantly.
581
00:34:20,332 --> 00:34:27,204
No more than a couple of times a day.
Observation is one of the basic
building blocks of education.
582
00:34:28,941 --> 00:34:30,704
I still don't see anything.
583
00:34:30,776 --> 00:34:33,745
Patience, my friend
is very important.
584
00:34:33,846 --> 00:34:36,007
Especially if you get stuck.
585
00:34:37,049 --> 00:34:38,529
Stuck'... what are you talking about?
586
00:34:39,251 --> 00:34:43,187
When dogs are breeding they
often get stuck together and
you can't pull them apart.
587
00:34:43,255 --> 00:34:46,452
The lady dog gets freaked out and
tries to run off down the road
588
00:34:46,559 --> 00:34:49,084
and the poor male dog gets
dragged behind on his butt.
589
00:34:49,161 --> 00:34:50,651
What's that got to do with me?
590
00:34:50,696 --> 00:34:53,460
Well, basically the same thing can
happen to men and women.
591
00:34:53,566 --> 00:34:58,367
When the woman is done
she usually wants to get up and
brush her hair... or whatever.
592
00:34:58,404 --> 00:35:00,031
Women are always
doing something.
593
00:35:00,105 --> 00:35:04,735
The guy is stuck, trapped in there.
If you don't find a way to hold
her down she's going to
594
00:35:04,810 --> 00:35:09,804
drag your skinny ass all over
the house. And your dick could
sustain permanent injuries.
595
00:35:10,916 --> 00:35:12,076
No way.
596
00:35:12,184 --> 00:35:15,210
Yeah. Why do you think men
sometimes tie women to the bed?
597
00:35:16,288 --> 00:35:17,288
Whoah! Look at that...
598
00:35:19,625 --> 00:35:20,625
Down there.
599
00:35:21,594 --> 00:35:22,652
That looks like a whip.
600
00:35:23,229 --> 00:35:24,696
Why does she have a whip?
601
00:35:25,731 --> 00:35:28,700
Obviously the guy didn't
perform well.
602
00:35:31,303 --> 00:35:33,635
I don't know...
I don't think I'm ready for this.
603
00:35:34,306 --> 00:35:39,710
It seems the more I learn about sex
the more confused I am.
I'm really lost.
604
00:35:39,745 --> 00:35:43,704
You're way too naive for your age.
You need some professional help.
605
00:35:44,250 --> 00:35:48,949
Go to an expert first.
Get it solved now.
606
00:35:50,623 --> 00:35:51,817
It wouldn't be right.
607
00:35:51,924 --> 00:35:52,652
Get real!
608
00:35:52,725 --> 00:35:56,661
Sign me up!
What you need is an emergency
training program now.
609
00:35:56,729 --> 00:36:03,658
Otherwise Leone is going to
eat you alive. Or even worse
whip you like a horse.
610
00:36:11,944 --> 00:36:12,603
Hello?
611
00:36:12,678 --> 00:36:16,944
You've selected
'Dominating Darlings', Mistress
Vanya will be right with you.
612
00:36:17,583 --> 00:36:20,074
Mistress Vanya speaking.
Who the hell are you?
613
00:36:21,253 --> 00:36:22,515
Ah... Florian.
614
00:36:22,588 --> 00:36:25,648
Alright Florian
Are you sitting all nice and comfy?
615
00:36:25,758 --> 00:36:26,349
Yeah.
616
00:36:26,458 --> 00:36:27,755
Well, get your ass up!
617
00:36:27,860 --> 00:36:32,297
Vanya doesn't tolerate any sitting
sissies. I'm into pain and more pain
understood?
618
00:36:32,364 --> 00:36:34,355
Stand up, slave! Now!
619
00:36:35,200 --> 00:36:36,292
Whatever you say.
620
00:36:36,368 --> 00:36:39,769
Wrong! The correct response is
"Yes Mistress Vanya!".
621
00:36:39,805 --> 00:36:41,568
Yes. Mistress Vanya!
622
00:36:41,674 --> 00:36:47,374
Kneel down, you stinky
good-for-nothing dog and
bark for your mistress.
623
00:36:47,413 --> 00:36:48,437
Bark, Fido!
624
00:36:48,514 --> 00:36:50,554
I really don't think that
would be such a good idea.
625
00:36:50,582 --> 00:36:53,142
On your knees
you maggot-ridden flea-hound!
626
00:36:53,218 --> 00:36:54,685
Ok ok ok...
627
00:36:54,887 --> 00:36:58,584
Repeat after me, and get it right
word for word...
628
00:36:58,691 --> 00:37:01,159
Mistress Vanya, I am so unworthy!
629
00:37:01,226 --> 00:37:03,319
Mistress Vanya, I am so unworthy!
630
00:37:03,395 --> 00:37:05,886
Louder, you filthy scum!
631
00:37:05,998 --> 00:37:07,795
Mistress Vanya, I am so unworthy!
632
00:37:07,900 --> 00:37:12,428
Oh, yeah? Well, show me
you mean it and kiss the carpet.
633
00:37:13,505 --> 00:37:15,405
The carpet?
634
00:37:16,809 --> 00:37:18,504
It looks pretty dirty.
Do I have to?
635
00:37:18,610 --> 00:37:23,172
You whip!
Get down on all fours and
bark like a dog and make it loud.
636
00:37:25,451 --> 00:37:28,750
I said make it loud...
or I'm going to whip you!
637
00:37:32,424 --> 00:37:33,482
Florian...
638
00:37:35,227 --> 00:37:36,956
Why are you barking on the carpet?
639
00:37:37,629 --> 00:37:39,927
I was looking for my book.
640
00:37:40,032 --> 00:37:42,626
Bark again!
Put more bite into it you...
641
00:37:43,736 --> 00:37:44,896
It's a school project.
642
00:37:47,072 --> 00:37:49,438
Talking to Mistress Vanya hadn't
made anything clearer.
643
00:37:49,842 --> 00:37:53,744
I mean, what do barking dogs and
carpet-kissing have to do with sex?
644
00:37:54,380 --> 00:37:57,281
Red Bull was right
I needed professional help.
645
00:37:58,584 --> 00:38:00,279
The thing I like about
Red Bull is that
646
00:38:00,352 --> 00:38:03,844
when he makes up his mind
to do something he does it well.
647
00:38:03,956 --> 00:38:06,584
You see, there was a small
sum of $200 involved.
648
00:38:06,658 --> 00:38:08,751
And where can two kids
get that kind of money?
649
00:38:08,961 --> 00:38:12,761
This next issue is something special.
It's one of my personal favorites.
650
00:38:14,366 --> 00:38:17,358
Farrah Fawcett was
the Pamela Anderson of her day.
651
00:38:25,878 --> 00:38:28,176
Ok, here's my final
rock-bottom price...
652
00:38:29,181 --> 00:38:29,977
5 bucks.
653
00:38:30,082 --> 00:38:31,640
Hey, I'll give you three.
654
00:38:34,887 --> 00:38:39,790
Wait a minute. Give me four and I'll
throw in this extra strength
water-balloon, alright?
655
00:38:41,126 --> 00:38:47,395
This balloon is not sold in stores.
It can hold over a gallon of
water without exploding.
656
00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:50,696
Electronically tested
it's guaranteed to perform.
657
00:38:52,104 --> 00:38:53,366
And best of all
658
00:38:53,439 --> 00:38:56,533
it holds its shape
even thrown off the fourth floor.
659
00:39:03,549 --> 00:39:05,517
4, 5 bucks
660
00:39:05,551 --> 00:39:08,019
5, 6, 7, 8 bucks
661
00:39:08,620 --> 00:39:10,899
Anyway, Mistress Vanya kept
telling me to kiss the carpet.
662
00:39:10,923 --> 00:39:12,948
I don't know how often
you clean your carpet but...
663
00:39:13,025 --> 00:39:15,858
No no no...
kissing carpet is when...
664
00:39:15,928 --> 00:39:18,488
well, you know...
when you kiss a girl 'down there'.
665
00:39:20,732 --> 00:39:21,858
Why would I want to do that?
666
00:39:21,934 --> 00:39:23,458
It drives them wild.
667
00:39:23,535 --> 00:39:27,801
It's the warm-up, called foreplay.
You'll want to remember it
when you get in there.
668
00:39:27,873 --> 00:39:29,101
What's it like?
669
00:39:29,174 --> 00:39:32,632
Like... it's like...
670
00:39:32,678 --> 00:39:34,202
I can't describe it.
671
00:39:34,279 --> 00:39:35,940
It smells like...
672
00:39:39,451 --> 00:39:40,645
rabbit.
673
00:39:40,752 --> 00:39:41,548
You're kidding.
674
00:39:41,653 --> 00:39:43,018
Like dead rabbit.
675
00:39:43,088 --> 00:39:44,521
How long dead?
676
00:39:44,756 --> 00:39:47,054
Well, think of a rabbit hit
by a gigantic truck
677
00:39:47,159 --> 00:39:50,560
and left by the side of the road
for a few days. It smells like
mayonnaise in a sauna.
678
00:39:51,296 --> 00:39:51,728
Man!
679
00:39:51,797 --> 00:39:52,627
What?
680
00:39:52,698 --> 00:39:56,031
I don't know if I can do it.
I've got a weak stomach.
681
00:39:56,568 --> 00:39:57,500
Women get angry
682
00:39:57,569 --> 00:39:59,059
If you don't do this foreplay first.
683
00:39:59,104 --> 00:40:03,234
But maybe, since we're paying for it
she'll make an exception for you.
684
00:40:03,308 --> 00:40:04,308
This is it, buddy.
685
00:40:05,978 --> 00:40:08,640
You know, maybe this isn't such
a good idea. Let's just go home.
686
00:40:12,885 --> 00:40:13,885
What do you want?
687
00:40:15,487 --> 00:40:16,487
We're here to see Mona.
688
00:40:17,022 --> 00:40:18,022
For what?
689
00:40:18,924 --> 00:40:20,050
For my friend here.
690
00:40:24,296 --> 00:40:27,459
Tell her I'll do anything...
691
00:40:28,600 --> 00:40:29,862
but foreplay.
692
00:40:31,503 --> 00:40:35,963
Foreplay? I can't believe it.
You blew the gig. He was about
to let you in, Fly.
693
00:40:36,608 --> 00:40:38,803
You wait right here, Ok?
And let me arrange it. Uh?
694
00:40:42,814 --> 00:40:43,814
All this because of you.
695
00:40:43,916 --> 00:40:45,884
Hey, I'm worth it, buddy.
696
00:40:47,119 --> 00:40:51,522
Listen, I really appreciate you setting
this up. It's very nice of you.
697
00:40:51,557 --> 00:40:52,581
Have a good one.
698
00:40:54,259 --> 00:40:55,259
Well, what did he say?
699
00:40:55,827 --> 00:40:57,089
The guy was nice.
700
00:40:57,162 --> 00:40:59,494
He even took our cash
so we're paid in advance.
701
00:41:01,033 --> 00:41:05,561
They were all booked up for today.
But tomorrow, at 12:00 noon
you have a date with Anita.
702
00:41:13,145 --> 00:41:15,045
Women are just like cars
you know what I mean?
703
00:41:15,581 --> 00:41:16,605
No. How do you figure?
704
00:41:17,549 --> 00:41:21,645
I read somewhere that a healthy
relationship shouldn't last more
than about 4 years or so.
705
00:41:21,753 --> 00:41:23,031
Yeah, but my parents have been
together for...
706
00:41:23,055 --> 00:41:25,649
Yeah yeah yeah, I know.
But your folks aren't normal.
707
00:41:26,458 --> 00:41:31,657
Biologically it takes a couple
about 4 years to have a child
and when it walks
708
00:41:31,763 --> 00:41:35,460
the man goes on the hunt
for the next woman.
It's scientifically proven.
709
00:41:35,567 --> 00:41:36,056
Really? But what...
710
00:41:36,168 --> 00:41:39,399
Hey, no 'buts'.
That's why mankind has
existed for so long.
711
00:41:39,471 --> 00:41:43,931
That's why you hear
a little voice, telling you what to do
"Boy, look at that babe... and that!"
712
00:41:44,009 --> 00:41:47,069
Alright, even if it's true
what's it got to do with cars?
713
00:41:47,679 --> 00:41:48,771
I'm coming to it.
714
00:41:49,481 --> 00:41:52,644
Y'see, most people keep their car
for four years and then
hey trade it in.
715
00:41:53,085 --> 00:41:56,384
The ignition breaks, the tires wear out
and on and on and on...
716
00:41:56,488 --> 00:41:59,457
With women the same thing happens.
They start to fall apart.
717
00:41:59,524 --> 00:42:02,220
Then it's time for all kinds of
plastic surgery...
718
00:42:02,294 --> 00:42:05,821
silicone implants, liposuction,
everything under the hood.
719
00:42:05,897 --> 00:42:08,178
Before you know it they're
nickle and diming you to death.
720
00:42:08,433 --> 00:42:12,301
A woman wears down just
like car's transmission.
721
00:42:12,504 --> 00:42:14,802
That's why so many men
marry secretaries.
722
00:42:15,407 --> 00:42:18,886
All these secretaries are
20 years old, fresh and new, like
the parts in an auto-assembly line.
723
00:42:18,910 --> 00:42:21,572
They wait for the bosses wife
to crumble and rust.
724
00:42:21,713 --> 00:42:23,374
Not all marriages end up like that.
725
00:42:23,448 --> 00:42:25,541
Tell me, whose folks are
still together?
726
00:42:25,617 --> 00:42:26,276
Mine are.
727
00:42:26,351 --> 00:42:31,050
I told you're parents are not
exactly normal. They're like
a disaster waiting to happen.
728
00:42:34,226 --> 00:42:35,226
Aunt Zelda...
729
00:42:39,364 --> 00:42:42,128
Are my dad and mom really
happy together?
730
00:42:43,435 --> 00:42:44,925
What kind of a question is that?
731
00:42:46,071 --> 00:42:50,337
It's just that all of my friend's
parents are divorced or split up.
732
00:42:51,043 --> 00:42:52,704
Or having affairs.
733
00:42:54,346 --> 00:43:00,046
Yet my dad and mom seem so content
and happy with each other.
Is that normal?
734
00:43:01,553 --> 00:43:03,145
Oh, Florian.
735
00:43:04,956 --> 00:43:06,583
Don't worry about your folks.
736
00:43:07,059 --> 00:43:10,756
Your mom and dad are good together.
They get along very well
and are happy.
737
00:43:10,862 --> 00:43:14,491
And tonight they're having a romantic
evening to celebrate their love.
738
00:43:14,566 --> 00:43:15,692
Phone sex.
739
00:43:17,769 --> 00:43:18,565
What?
740
00:43:18,770 --> 00:43:21,603
Don't pretend you didn't hear me.
Telephone sex!
741
00:43:23,475 --> 00:43:25,306
Please keep your voice down
everyone can hear.
742
00:43:25,410 --> 00:43:26,650
I'll speak as loud as I please.
743
00:43:26,712 --> 00:43:28,680
I repeat, telephone sex!
744
00:43:28,714 --> 00:43:31,239
How are you able to have sex
with a telephone?
745
00:43:32,417 --> 00:43:35,147
You've been calling up girls
for sex on the phone.
/That's disgusting.
746
00:43:38,690 --> 00:43:40,089
What are you talking about, Petra?
747
00:43:40,192 --> 00:43:41,216
You can't recall?
748
00:43:41,993 --> 00:43:45,656
Well then, perhaps this girl Candy
or maybe Mistress Vanya will
refresh your memory.
749
00:43:47,199 --> 00:43:48,199
What is this?
750
00:43:48,834 --> 00:43:50,995
How disrespectful to call them
from our home!
751
00:43:51,103 --> 00:43:55,039
Where our innocent boy could overhear.
What example are you setting
for our son?
752
00:43:55,140 --> 00:44:02,239
And to have the nerve to put
these filthy calls on my credit card!
753
00:44:06,017 --> 00:44:10,351
She can grease me up like that
any time she wants. Do you
think we can get a good-night kiss?
754
00:44:26,738 --> 00:44:28,865
Time to turn off your light
young man. It's late.
755
00:44:33,078 --> 00:44:36,309
Tomorrow will be another long
hard day. You'll need a good sleep.
756
00:44:36,381 --> 00:44:38,679
Who needs a good sleep?
Introduce me!
757
00:44:38,784 --> 00:44:41,252
I had less than 24 hours
to prep for Leone
758
00:44:41,353 --> 00:44:43,082
and I hadn't even kissed a girl yet.
759
00:44:43,488 --> 00:44:47,185
Now, rest well, Florian.
Sweet dreams.
/Here comes that kiss.
760
00:44:47,259 --> 00:44:49,625
Here's our chance pal...
slip in the tongue.
761
00:45:00,172 --> 00:45:01,230
You idiot!
762
00:45:01,306 --> 00:45:03,399
Hey! A little tongue is
better than nothing.
763
00:45:07,012 --> 00:45:08,012
Rabbits...
764
00:45:08,880 --> 00:45:11,405
Cute little white bunny rabbits.
765
00:45:12,617 --> 00:45:13,709
A carpet of them.
766
00:45:15,520 --> 00:45:20,423
Foreplay on the carpet...
girls love it.
767
00:45:20,492 --> 00:45:23,290
Carpet tastes like dead rabbit.
768
00:45:39,611 --> 00:45:41,010
C'mon, let's go.
769
00:45:41,112 --> 00:45:43,410
My father discovered
his Playboys were missing.
770
00:45:43,515 --> 00:45:45,749
I'm grounded until I'm thirty.
771
00:45:45,750 --> 00:45:46,750
Shit, man!
772
00:45:47,219 --> 00:45:48,550
Go and see Anita on your own.
773
00:45:48,620 --> 00:45:51,180
C'mon, can't we change
the appointment or something?
774
00:45:51,256 --> 00:45:52,314
Are you nuts?
775
00:45:52,424 --> 00:45:53,220
Are you nuts?
776
00:45:53,325 --> 00:45:55,937
I already gave the guy all the money
we made from selling the magazines.
777
00:45:55,961 --> 00:45:59,226
C'mon, if you don't go I'll have
gotten into trouble for nothing.
778
00:46:00,031 --> 00:46:01,031
I don't know...
779
00:46:01,066 --> 00:46:06,561
You owe me this one. You and I both
know you need experience for tonight.
Understand?
780
00:46:28,960 --> 00:46:33,920
I'm shrinking by the minute here.
This is the most important moment
of your life.
781
00:46:33,999 --> 00:46:34,693
Go back!
782
00:46:34,766 --> 00:46:35,232
No!
783
00:46:35,300 --> 00:46:35,959
Yes!
784
00:46:36,067 --> 00:46:36,795
No!
785
00:46:36,868 --> 00:46:39,632
Yes! I don't know the meaning of
the word 'no'.
786
00:46:39,704 --> 00:46:41,228
No is no and that's final!
787
00:46:41,973 --> 00:46:43,201
Who are you talking to?
788
00:46:49,180 --> 00:46:50,613
I'm looking for Anita.
789
00:46:51,683 --> 00:46:52,683
Who are you?
790
00:46:53,385 --> 00:46:54,511
I'm Florian.
791
00:46:54,886 --> 00:46:56,766
Aren't you a little bit young
to be coming here?
792
00:46:57,022 --> 00:47:00,981
I don't know.
I had an appointment at 12:00.
793
00:47:01,526 --> 00:47:04,222
But at your age
you must have a girl friend.
794
00:47:05,830 --> 00:47:10,563
There is this girl... who really
seems to want me... I hope.
795
00:47:10,635 --> 00:47:13,331
And the problem is
I've never done it before.
796
00:47:14,539 --> 00:47:16,302
I'm afraid I'll disappoint her.
797
00:47:17,142 --> 00:47:18,142
Is that stupid?
798
00:47:18,310 --> 00:47:24,271
No, it isn't. It's cute in fact.
It feels kind of cold.
How about we go get a hot chocolate?
799
00:47:25,216 --> 00:47:26,945
Yeah...
800
00:47:30,522 --> 00:47:32,046
It's difficult being a young guy.
801
00:47:32,123 --> 00:47:34,853
Up to now I was only interested
in sports and things.
802
00:47:34,926 --> 00:47:39,386
Then out of the blue, bang, a voice
begins telling me that
I'm supposed to have sex.
803
00:47:39,531 --> 00:47:42,659
It's driving me crazy.
It doesn't stop bugging me for a minute.
804
00:47:42,734 --> 00:47:44,759
I don't know what to do.
It won't stop.
805
00:47:44,836 --> 00:47:47,202
You mean it will get worse?
806
00:47:47,272 --> 00:47:51,436
No. One day you'll begin to realize
that a person's life isn't just about sex.
807
00:47:51,543 --> 00:47:54,255
When that happens the voice
you're hearing will no longer be a problem.
808
00:47:54,279 --> 00:47:56,747
That's a lot of blah blah, pal.
I'm your biggest asset.
809
00:47:57,382 --> 00:48:00,545
Come... sit next to me.
810
00:48:15,600 --> 00:48:17,033
I'll show you something.
811
00:48:28,513 --> 00:48:31,073
Ok, ever feel that before?
812
00:48:35,920 --> 00:48:37,581
It feels pretty good, huh?
813
00:48:54,839 --> 00:48:57,865
Do the same to your girl friend.
She'll really love it.
814
00:49:07,819 --> 00:49:11,016
Red, you lied about the smell.
It's not at all like dead rabbit.
815
00:49:11,923 --> 00:49:13,083
Yeah, I know...
816
00:49:14,259 --> 00:49:14,725
once more.
817
00:49:14,826 --> 00:49:15,826
Hey!
818
00:49:15,860 --> 00:49:16,349
Don't hurt my hand.
819
00:49:16,428 --> 00:49:18,089
Watch this...
820
00:49:22,634 --> 00:49:23,634
It's my turn...
821
00:49:23,868 --> 00:49:25,563
Hey! You're using up the smell.
822
00:49:25,870 --> 00:49:27,770
Ok, this is the last round.
823
00:49:29,741 --> 00:49:30,741
Stop it!
824
00:49:53,665 --> 00:49:54,996
I thought you were rehearsing.
825
00:49:59,404 --> 00:50:00,496
What does it cost?
826
00:50:00,572 --> 00:50:01,572
Let me see...
827
00:50:03,475 --> 00:50:04,772
DM 2,000
828
00:50:09,114 --> 00:50:14,484
I was thinking about... DM 50.
829
00:50:14,586 --> 00:50:17,646
That's going to be very difficult.
Let me see...
830
00:50:21,392 --> 00:50:22,791
This one's quite lovely.
831
00:50:24,729 --> 00:50:28,256
You know what, this one's even better.
832
00:50:31,703 --> 00:50:32,761
It's beautiful.
833
00:50:34,205 --> 00:50:35,638
Should we get it?
834
00:50:39,811 --> 00:50:41,506
Do you think Leone will like it?
835
00:50:43,214 --> 00:50:44,340
Excuse me?
836
00:50:44,415 --> 00:50:45,415
Leone.
837
00:50:46,751 --> 00:50:47,979
The ring is for Leone?
838
00:50:48,052 --> 00:50:49,576
Yeah, what did you think?
839
00:50:51,322 --> 00:50:53,017
Hey, Lisa, wait!
840
00:50:54,025 --> 00:50:59,258
I didn't understand what had gotten
into Lisa. But then I was preoccupied
with some other important stuff.
841
00:51:00,932 --> 00:51:03,992
The big night had finally arrived
and I felt confident that I was ready.
842
00:51:04,569 --> 00:51:05,365
I had the ring
843
00:51:05,436 --> 00:51:07,836
and I'd memorized every position
in the Karma Sutra.
844
00:51:07,939 --> 00:51:11,841
Although one or two of them still
gave me a few problems.
845
00:52:02,393 --> 00:52:06,056
Hi, Leone. I hope my technique
is as good as Kyle's.
846
00:52:17,809 --> 00:52:24,044
Here Leone, take this ring
as a sign of my... affection.
847
00:52:31,155 --> 00:52:33,749
Just introduce me and I'll do the rest.
848
00:52:33,825 --> 00:52:35,190
Now or never.
849
00:52:36,728 --> 00:52:37,956
Hello!
850
00:52:38,429 --> 00:52:39,919
Florian, what are you doing here?
851
00:52:42,233 --> 00:52:44,531
I was invited... remember?
852
00:52:44,636 --> 00:52:46,399
Oh, yeah, but...
853
00:52:48,239 --> 00:52:49,638
Oh, 'Whiffy'...
854
00:52:49,741 --> 00:52:51,470
Whiff-whiff back away.
855
00:52:51,542 --> 00:52:53,840
Get down 'whiffy'.
856
00:52:55,980 --> 00:52:57,811
Whiffy'! Stop!
857
00:53:00,385 --> 00:53:01,647
Are those for me?
858
00:53:01,753 --> 00:53:02,753
Yeah.
859
00:53:03,254 --> 00:53:04,254
Well, since you're here
860
00:53:04,355 --> 00:53:06,619
you might as well come in.
861
00:53:07,992 --> 00:53:09,152
It's a nice house.
862
00:53:10,561 --> 00:53:11,561
Sit!
863
00:53:13,164 --> 00:53:19,364
I'll put the flowers in that corner
over there. Right next to mom's
priceless porcelain figurine collection.
864
00:53:20,471 --> 00:53:21,836
Whiffy'!
865
00:53:21,906 --> 00:53:23,430
Now, stop!
866
00:53:24,676 --> 00:53:28,077
He becomes so jealous when
I mention mom's porcelain figurines.
867
00:53:29,113 --> 00:53:31,633
Let's tend to business before
I become tenderloin for that mutt!
868
00:53:31,683 --> 00:53:35,346
I'll be right back.
I'll get some water for the flowers.
869
00:53:50,935 --> 00:53:52,368
I got this to show...
870
00:53:52,437 --> 00:53:54,735
Sorry, but I totally forgot
I invited you here.
871
00:53:57,408 --> 00:54:01,310
I'd like to offer you something to
drink but Kyle will be here any minute
872
00:54:01,346 --> 00:54:04,008
and you know weird he gets when
a guy even looks at me.
873
00:54:04,115 --> 00:54:06,106
Remember what
happened to poor Kevin?
874
00:54:30,200 --> 00:54:32,724
Hi. Leo-ne...
875
00:54:32,802 --> 00:54:33,666
You!
876
00:54:33,736 --> 00:54:34,224
Oh, shit!
877
00:54:44,810 --> 00:54:47,675
Kyle's here. It's swirly time.
878
00:54:51,347 --> 00:54:52,711
There's no escape.
879
00:54:57,683 --> 00:55:03,416
You can play at this.
You want to bump uglies
with me? Alright!
880
00:55:24,234 --> 00:55:26,326
Kyle! That's enough.
881
00:55:37,642 --> 00:55:38,267
Oh, shit.
882
00:55:38,341 --> 00:55:39,330
Oh, shit.
883
00:55:40,477 --> 00:55:41,774
Oh, my god!
884
00:56:03,091 --> 00:56:06,684
You're a dead man!
See you on stage tomorrow.
885
00:56:17,667 --> 00:56:19,896
How can we stay together
when you won't even trust me?
886
00:56:20,502 --> 00:56:21,968
Anyone could have made those calls.
887
00:56:22,036 --> 00:56:25,596
So now you're saying that
somebody sneaked into our house,
888
00:56:25,705 --> 00:56:29,730
took my credit card out of my purse
then spent 25 and a half hours
889
00:56:29,807 --> 00:56:32,274
on our phone talking to
this Professor Candy?
890
00:56:32,342 --> 00:56:35,538
Ok, let's just say for a second that
I did make those calls...
891
00:56:35,611 --> 00:56:38,670
which I didn't...
what's the big deal, anyway?
892
00:56:38,746 --> 00:56:40,646
I feel like a lilly-pad here.
893
00:56:41,815 --> 00:56:43,042
This is your fault.
894
00:56:43,816 --> 00:56:46,648
The big deal is that you're
denying what you did.
895
00:56:46,717 --> 00:56:50,311
How can I ever trust you again?
We might as well separate.
896
00:56:50,720 --> 00:56:53,210
Why don't we go back to
Leone's and give it another shot?
897
00:56:53,288 --> 00:56:54,812
Shut up!
898
00:56:54,890 --> 00:56:56,948
So now we're talking about divorce?
899
00:56:57,024 --> 00:57:00,685
Let me remind you the play
tomorrow night is the last chance
to score with Leone.
900
00:57:00,826 --> 00:57:03,386
In the meantime
get this slimy goldfish of me!
901
00:57:08,031 --> 00:57:12,489
This guy doesn't care about anything.
Not only has he cause me
a ton of trouble,
902
00:57:12,567 --> 00:57:16,695
but now thanks to him, my whole
family is freaking out permanently.
903
00:57:19,605 --> 00:57:25,769
The problem at hand was way out of
Red Bull's line of expertise. I only
had one friend who could help me with this.
904
00:57:44,854 --> 00:57:45,512
Are you crazy?
905
00:57:46,121 --> 00:57:47,644
Can I come in?
906
00:57:52,425 --> 00:57:53,584
You look like shit.
907
00:57:55,160 --> 00:57:56,422
What happened to you?
908
00:57:57,061 --> 00:57:58,459
I've got to talk to you.
909
00:57:58,528 --> 00:57:59,994
There's nothing to say.
910
00:58:12,137 --> 00:58:14,036
This has been the worst
night of my life.
911
00:58:15,373 --> 00:58:18,569
I'm only 15 and I've already
screwed up my entire future.
912
00:58:18,642 --> 00:58:23,941
A psychopath wants to kill me and
somebody I thought wanted to be with
me could give a shit.
913
00:58:24,011 --> 00:58:28,912
Thanks to me my best friend
is grounded until he's 30,I can't
show my face around school now.
914
00:58:29,014 --> 00:58:33,279
And I have to memorize a gazillion lines
of classical literature by
tomorrow evening.
915
00:58:33,717 --> 00:58:36,480
And my very best friend won't
even talk to me.
916
00:58:41,722 --> 00:58:45,588
My folks want a divorce and
it's all my fault.
917
00:58:46,492 --> 00:58:48,652
The only thing to do is
put you up for adoption.
918
00:58:49,260 --> 00:58:50,192
Hey, I'm serious.
919
00:58:50,261 --> 00:58:51,386
Oh, really?
920
00:58:51,461 --> 00:58:54,725
I seriously liked you until
you humiliated me yesterday.
921
00:58:55,731 --> 00:58:57,061
I thought the ring was for me.
922
00:58:57,132 --> 00:58:58,928
I'm sorry about that.
923
00:59:13,341 --> 00:59:13,932
Fly...
924
00:59:14,009 --> 00:59:15,168
Yeah?
925
00:59:18,911 --> 00:59:21,539
If I had let my parents down
or caused them a lot of pain,
926
00:59:21,614 --> 00:59:27,447
something they've always wanted me
to do, to make them proud of me.
927
00:59:28,618 --> 00:59:30,608
Yeah, but what are my options?
928
00:59:32,154 --> 00:59:37,282
My mother's biggest wish
is to see me on stage.
She wants me to play Romeo.
929
00:59:37,356 --> 00:59:38,153
Then play him.
930
00:59:38,991 --> 00:59:40,787
Yeah, but Casper has got the part.
931
00:59:40,858 --> 00:59:42,188
Come up with a plan.
932
00:59:42,259 --> 00:59:43,726
Dear mom and dad...
933
00:59:43,827 --> 00:59:46,761
It was me who made all those calls
on your credit card, mom.
934
00:59:46,829 --> 00:59:49,296
I'll understand if you never
want to see me again.
935
00:59:49,397 --> 00:59:53,957
But in case you do
come to the play tonight.
I will be playing Romeo.
936
00:59:54,467 --> 00:59:58,425
I hope I will make you proud
though I'm sure I won't be
as good as you were, dad,
937
00:59:58,503 --> 01:00:00,265
when you and mom did the show.
938
01:00:00,337 --> 01:00:03,133
If you don't come I'll know you are
through with me.
939
01:00:03,205 --> 01:00:04,229
Please don't get a divorce.
940
01:00:04,306 --> 01:00:06,570
Love, your son, Florian.
941
01:00:07,475 --> 01:00:09,942
It was now time to put
the plan into action.
942
01:00:10,010 --> 01:00:13,376
I hope you're talking about
my plan to jump Leone's bones.
943
01:00:18,782 --> 01:00:21,613
The chemist said one small dose had
his dog shitting for a whole week.
944
01:00:21,683 --> 01:00:24,550
So it's very important we don't
let Casper eat a whole lot of these.
945
01:00:29,889 --> 01:00:31,355
He's coming. Heads up!
946
01:00:33,558 --> 01:00:36,583
Hi Casper.
Would you like a chocolate?
947
01:00:38,260 --> 01:00:41,092
I'll pass. It might ruin my voice.
948
01:00:41,162 --> 01:00:43,995
Man, don't be stupid.
It actually improves your voice.
949
01:00:44,798 --> 01:00:46,560
Yeah? How?
950
01:00:46,632 --> 01:00:53,229
Chocolate relaxes your vocal chords.
All the big Hollywood
celebrities eat it.
951
01:00:53,370 --> 01:00:57,566
DeNiro, Pacino...
It must really work.
952
01:00:57,773 --> 01:01:01,367
But I'm allergic to chocolate.
Too bad.
953
01:01:02,509 --> 01:01:03,373
But thanks.
954
01:01:05,111 --> 01:01:05,736
I don't believe it.
955
01:01:05,811 --> 01:01:07,038
This sucks!
956
01:01:11,614 --> 01:01:12,080
Ok...
957
01:01:12,148 --> 01:01:12,910
Follow me.
958
01:01:26,491 --> 01:01:27,287
Oh, my God!
959
01:01:27,358 --> 01:01:33,760
I wouldn't go on stage like that.
But, c'mon, we'll find a sewing kit.
960
01:01:37,497 --> 01:01:38,759
It's pretty dark in here.
961
01:01:39,532 --> 01:01:40,794
Where's the light switch?
962
01:01:41,700 --> 01:01:42,632
Hey!
963
01:01:46,469 --> 01:01:47,595
Let me out!
964
01:01:50,404 --> 01:01:52,099
Let me out! I'm Romeo!
965
01:01:52,173 --> 01:01:56,005
Everyone's here... Romeo?
Oh, my God, where's Romeo?
966
01:01:56,876 --> 01:01:58,399
Has anyone seen Casper?
967
01:01:58,476 --> 01:02:00,376
Yeah, a couple of minutes ago
over there.
968
01:02:01,112 --> 01:02:02,738
Casper felt sick.
969
01:02:02,812 --> 01:02:04,541
Yeah, it came out of nowhere.
970
01:02:05,181 --> 01:02:08,274
My stomach can't
take showbiz stress.
971
01:02:12,086 --> 01:02:15,451
Dirk, will you please stop coughing.
I can't think.
972
01:02:17,488 --> 01:02:18,477
Florian!
973
01:02:19,090 --> 01:02:20,818
Where's Florian?
974
01:02:21,992 --> 01:02:23,015
Here.
975
01:02:23,092 --> 01:02:25,686
Florian! Thank heaven.
You've saved us!
976
01:02:29,262 --> 01:02:31,594
I can't believe it.
You dared to show your face here?
977
01:02:31,964 --> 01:02:33,294
Let him go. We need Romeo.
978
01:02:33,365 --> 01:02:35,196
What is the matter with you?
I don't need him.
979
01:02:35,266 --> 01:02:38,462
Hey, without him you can't say your
one big line. Back off!
980
01:02:39,035 --> 01:02:42,094
Get ready for your
swirly after the show.
Forget this personal business.
981
01:02:42,171 --> 01:02:44,070
You must get ready for the show.
Go get dressed.
982
01:02:45,772 --> 01:02:48,639
I want everybody to take your places.
Now go go go!
983
01:02:51,910 --> 01:02:53,171
Is your equipment all warmed up?
984
01:02:54,912 --> 01:02:55,640
George!
985
01:02:56,879 --> 01:02:58,574
Are you talking to me
Mr. Winterfield?
986
01:03:05,385 --> 01:03:07,615
It won't work. There's no time left.
987
01:03:07,686 --> 01:03:10,086
I'll be the laughing
stock of the entire school.
988
01:03:10,154 --> 01:03:10,984
Henry!
989
01:03:11,055 --> 01:03:11,748
Yes sir?
990
01:03:11,822 --> 01:03:14,619
Try to stay awake for
the entire play, ok?
991
01:03:14,690 --> 01:03:20,093
Don't panic.
The cue-cards are almost done now.
Whatever's left out I'll whisper to you.
992
01:03:31,401 --> 01:03:33,028
Curtain up!
993
01:03:41,273 --> 01:03:44,469
Two households
both alike in dignity...
994
01:03:45,109 --> 01:03:45,734
Louder!
995
01:03:45,810 --> 01:03:47,242
...in fair Verona...
996
01:03:47,311 --> 01:03:48,209
Project out!
997
01:03:52,047 --> 01:03:53,173
What's that noise?
998
01:03:54,081 --> 01:03:56,982
From ancient grudge
borne from mutiny...
999
01:03:57,050 --> 01:03:59,540
where civil blood
makes hands unclean...
1000
01:04:00,152 --> 01:04:06,453
from forth, the fatal loins of these
two foes. A pair of star-crossed
lovers take their life...
1001
01:04:06,522 --> 01:04:13,426
If you have patience to attend
what here, shall miss our labors
shall strive to mend?
1002
01:04:13,493 --> 01:04:14,687
Good work!
1003
01:04:17,330 --> 01:04:18,887
I can't stop shaking.
1004
01:04:19,964 --> 01:04:22,194
Florian, you'll be fine.
1005
01:04:24,400 --> 01:04:25,559
Thanks to you.
1006
01:04:26,235 --> 01:04:28,362
Don't get sidetracked!
I want Leone.
1007
01:04:29,470 --> 01:04:30,663
Good morrow, cousin...
1008
01:04:31,938 --> 01:04:33,495
You're supposed to be out there!
1009
01:04:36,140 --> 01:04:37,664
Good morrow, cousin!
1010
01:04:45,446 --> 01:04:46,936
Good morrow, cousin.
1011
01:04:59,256 --> 01:05:00,483
Is the day so young?
1012
01:05:00,556 --> 01:05:02,079
Is the day so young?
1013
01:05:05,092 --> 01:05:06,787
Is the day so young?
1014
01:05:06,859 --> 01:05:08,293
It has struck nine.
1015
01:05:09,028 --> 01:05:14,259
Aye, me, sad hours seem long.
Was that my father who went
hence so fast?
1016
01:05:15,031 --> 01:05:19,932
Sweet goodnight. This bud of love
by summer's ripening breath
1017
01:05:20,002 --> 01:05:23,333
may prove a beauty as flower
when next we meet.
1018
01:05:24,638 --> 01:05:31,803
Goodnight, as we repose and rest.
Come to thy heart as that
within my breast.
1019
01:05:31,875 --> 01:05:34,138
And trust me, her breasts are sweet.
1020
01:05:35,144 --> 01:05:36,371
Why don't you just put a lid on it?
1021
01:05:36,978 --> 01:05:39,571
O, wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?
1022
01:05:39,647 --> 01:05:42,274
O, wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?
1023
01:05:42,982 --> 01:05:45,279
What satisfaction can thou have tonight?
1024
01:05:45,350 --> 01:05:47,078
I can think of a couple of things.
1025
01:05:48,185 --> 01:05:49,584
Why don't you just shut up?
1026
01:05:50,120 --> 01:05:53,919
Don't release the rose petals until
you get the signal from me
to get the right timing.
1027
01:05:54,523 --> 01:05:55,819
Do you know what the signal is?
1028
01:05:56,624 --> 01:05:57,591
No. Should I?
1029
01:05:58,625 --> 01:06:00,319
When you see me do that!
1030
01:06:00,393 --> 01:06:01,757
I gotcha.
1031
01:06:02,427 --> 01:06:08,022
My bounty is as full
and boundless as the sea.
My love as deep.
1032
01:06:08,098 --> 01:06:09,394
Yeah, what ever you want, baby.
1033
01:06:10,766 --> 01:06:11,425
Shut up!
1034
01:06:12,800 --> 01:06:14,699
The exchange of thy faith.
1035
01:06:15,402 --> 01:06:19,167
Friends, we can end this confrontation
and then be on our way.
1036
01:06:21,439 --> 01:06:23,464
...for both are infinite.
1037
01:06:25,375 --> 01:06:29,366
I hear a noise within.
Dear love... adieu... adieu.
1038
01:06:32,313 --> 01:06:33,142
Adieu.
1039
01:06:33,212 --> 01:06:33,906
Adieu.
1040
01:06:33,981 --> 01:06:37,915
Adieu already?
What happened to hello?
This play needs a script doctor.
1041
01:06:38,884 --> 01:06:39,975
Good scene.
1042
01:06:45,220 --> 01:06:46,550
...and be on our way.
1043
01:06:53,693 --> 01:06:55,956
Tibalt! Mercutio!
1044
01:07:03,899 --> 01:07:09,460
The prince expressly has
forbid this bandying in Verona streets.
1045
01:07:14,138 --> 01:07:17,868
No! Kyle, this is not your scene.
You're a musician!
1046
01:07:45,558 --> 01:07:46,990
Well, am I alright?
1047
01:07:48,059 --> 01:07:49,082
You're great.
1048
01:07:53,929 --> 01:07:58,126
Oh, man!
1049
01:07:58,666 --> 01:08:01,327
It's alright. It'll pass.
It's stage-fright.
1050
01:08:13,341 --> 01:08:15,570
Yeah, that's it. I'm a genius.
1051
01:08:17,944 --> 01:08:19,912
I've got an idea for my entrance.
1052
01:08:19,979 --> 01:08:21,002
Ok, up!
1053
01:08:21,781 --> 01:08:23,337
But that isn't the way we rehearsed it.
1054
01:08:23,948 --> 01:08:25,643
Who asked you?
Just do what I want!
1055
01:08:34,888 --> 01:08:38,653
He's got the first line.
1056
01:08:39,958 --> 01:08:41,050
Where's Kyle?
1057
01:08:41,126 --> 01:08:42,319
Forget this asshole.
1058
01:08:45,228 --> 01:08:47,525
My dear friends, we can end...
1059
01:08:51,132 --> 01:08:52,121
What's going on?
1060
01:08:54,967 --> 01:08:55,899
My dear friends...
1061
01:09:13,211 --> 01:09:15,042
My dear friends...
1062
01:09:26,286 --> 01:09:29,777
My dear friends
we can end this confrontation
and then...
1063
01:09:38,795 --> 01:09:41,319
...and then... be on our...
1064
01:09:44,565 --> 01:09:45,428
What's?
1065
01:09:56,672 --> 01:09:57,434
Nurse!
1066
01:09:58,373 --> 01:09:59,863
What should she do here?
1067
01:10:02,575 --> 01:10:09,172
My dismal scene.
My needs must... act on my own.
1068
01:10:09,246 --> 01:10:14,739
What if this mixture do not work at all?
Shall I be married then
tomorrow morning?
1069
01:10:14,817 --> 01:10:18,274
No! No... No!
1070
01:10:23,122 --> 01:10:27,284
This shall forbid it!
If I wake, shall you be there?
1071
01:10:29,092 --> 01:10:32,185
Shall I not then
be stifled in the vault?
1072
01:10:33,328 --> 01:10:35,022
What's going on out there?
1073
01:10:38,631 --> 01:10:40,530
Please hear me, God.
It's all I'll ask...
1074
01:10:53,640 --> 01:10:55,267
Bring down the curtain now!
1075
01:10:59,611 --> 01:11:01,134
Next scene, next scene!
1076
01:11:09,083 --> 01:11:10,141
What happened here?
1077
01:11:10,218 --> 01:11:11,582
I didn't see anything, I swear.
1078
01:11:11,651 --> 01:11:13,845
I want you to phone for
a doctor right now.
1079
01:11:14,954 --> 01:11:18,444
Lisa, get to wardrobe.
You'll replace Leone.
1080
01:11:19,389 --> 01:11:20,117
Me?
1081
01:11:20,424 --> 01:11:21,288
Yes.
1082
01:11:22,024 --> 01:11:22,786
Go on.
1083
01:11:28,629 --> 01:11:29,390
I'll make the call.
1084
01:11:45,672 --> 01:11:46,899
Do you like my costume?
1085
01:11:51,610 --> 01:11:53,703
Holy gazoomba!
This is a new development.
1086
01:11:53,777 --> 01:11:55,108
I'm switching to 'Plan B'.
1087
01:12:01,150 --> 01:12:02,616
You're absolutely gorgeous.
1088
01:12:06,052 --> 01:12:08,645
Don't just stand there with your
teeth hanging out make a move.
1089
01:12:08,720 --> 01:12:11,154
Romeo and Juliet, you're on!
Let's go!
1090
01:12:16,406 --> 01:12:19,739
What are you waiting for, a full moon?
Don't let her out of your sight.
1091
01:12:26,416 --> 01:12:27,781
Here's to my love.
1092
01:12:33,623 --> 01:12:38,185
O true apocothery
thy drugs are quick...
1093
01:12:39,629 --> 01:12:43,622
...thus with a kiss... I die...
1094
01:12:59,449 --> 01:13:00,347
Romeo...
1095
01:13:00,450 --> 01:13:04,750
Hey, hello! Wake up!
Prayers do come true to
1096
01:13:09,292 --> 01:13:11,385
Boy, talk about Twin Peaks...
1097
01:13:12,295 --> 01:13:14,263
Finally, he's talking to me.
1098
01:13:22,072 --> 01:13:25,132
Now's your chance pal.
Show her there's some life
in the old body yet.
1099
01:13:29,212 --> 01:13:30,907
Lisa... Lisa...
1100
01:13:33,984 --> 01:13:36,384
Even her name sounded
like sweet music.
1101
01:13:37,521 --> 01:13:39,989
Liii-sa.
1102
01:13:40,023 --> 01:13:42,423
Pull! Pull the curtain!
1103
01:13:43,326 --> 01:13:44,588
I hadn't felt this way
1104
01:13:44,694 --> 01:13:46,594
since I fell in love with Leone.
1105
01:13:51,101 --> 01:13:52,101
Wrap it up.
1106
01:13:54,104 --> 01:13:56,129
A gloomy peace brings with the morn.
1107
01:13:56,640 --> 01:13:59,268
Some shall be pardoned
and some punished.
1108
01:14:00,010 --> 01:14:05,471
For never was a story of more
gloom than this of Juliet...
and her Romeo.
1109
01:14:10,921 --> 01:14:12,115
Bravo!
1110
01:14:20,630 --> 01:14:22,222
Wanna play Romeo and Juliet later?
1111
01:14:22,332 --> 01:14:23,629
How about Romeo and Romeo?
1112
01:14:32,042 --> 01:14:34,533
Anybody interested in having
their flowerpot fertilized?
1113
01:14:59,869 --> 01:15:02,030
Oh, no.
1114
01:15:03,373 --> 01:15:05,484
Like I said at the beginning,
I don't know if you could
1115
01:15:05,508 --> 01:15:09,410
call this a big happy ending
but it is happy.
On top of everything else
1116
01:15:09,479 --> 01:15:13,381
I didn't have to injure myself
trying to fit into one of those
Karma Sutra positions.
1117
01:15:13,817 --> 01:15:17,685
Here we are, just you and me.
/Just the two of us.
1118
01:15:17,787 --> 01:15:19,015
What am I, chopped liver?
1119
01:15:19,089 --> 01:15:21,353
Wait a minute
forget I ever used that term.
1120
01:15:22,492 --> 01:15:23,254
Fly.
1121
01:15:23,326 --> 01:15:24,122
Yeah?
1122
01:15:24,194 --> 01:15:26,788
Nothing will ever come
between us, will it?
1123
01:15:26,896 --> 01:15:27,988
Of course not.
1124
01:15:30,800 --> 01:15:33,132
I think you might have to
make an exception for me.
1125
01:16:04,067 --> 01:16:05,762
So how was your date
with your friend Lisa?
1126
01:16:06,436 --> 01:16:07,436
Good.
1127
01:16:10,173 --> 01:16:11,606
And what did you two do?
1128
01:16:12,375 --> 01:16:17,472
First this warm feeling came over me
and I guess my blood started pumping.
1129
01:16:18,081 --> 01:16:23,519
Because, before I knew it,
she let me putt my wee-wee
into her flowerpot.
1130
01:16:28,892 --> 01:16:33,556
Now you're catching on.
This my friend is the beginning
of a beautiful relationship.
1131
01:16:34,305 --> 01:17:34,612
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