All language subtitles for Cecil B. Demented Spanish2

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:02:55,958 --> 00:02:58,700 "Some kind of happiness." 2 00:02:58,743 --> 00:03:01,790 H-a-p-p-i-- good, one "n." 3 00:03:01,833 --> 00:03:04,140 "Honey whitlock." 4 00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:06,969 W-h-i-t-- good, good. 5 00:03:07,012 --> 00:03:09,232 That's good. 6 00:03:09,276 --> 00:03:12,235 Try moving a little more to the right, sinclair. 7 00:03:12,279 --> 00:03:14,237 Is that better, Mr. Stillings ? 8 00:03:14,281 --> 00:03:16,848 Yeah. Yeah, that's all right. 9 00:03:16,892 --> 00:03:20,504 But try moving the "n" a little more to the right. 10 00:03:20,548 --> 00:03:22,811 Hmm. 11 00:03:22,854 --> 00:03:25,422 - Have you met miss whitlock yet ? - Not till tonight. 12 00:03:25,466 --> 00:03:28,164 But don't worry, sinclair. I'll introduce you. 13 00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:31,863 You promise ? I'd kill to meet her. 14 00:03:35,258 --> 00:03:39,654 Ohh, what a town. 15 00:03:39,697 --> 00:03:43,048 You know, I tell everybody in Hollywood... 16 00:03:43,092 --> 00:03:46,051 That if you want to shoot on location in Baltimore, 17 00:03:46,095 --> 00:03:49,316 you really don't need to bring a crew from Los Angeles. 18 00:03:49,359 --> 00:03:53,972 Because Baltimore really is best. 19 00:03:54,016 --> 00:03:57,454 And remember, miss whitlock... 20 00:03:57,498 --> 00:04:00,283 Is every inch a movie star, 21 00:04:00,327 --> 00:04:05,114 and she expects to be onstage at 7:10 P.M. exactly... 22 00:04:05,157 --> 00:04:08,291 In order to ensure live coverage... 23 00:04:08,335 --> 00:04:11,251 From each of the three local news shows. 24 00:04:11,294 --> 00:04:14,166 Oh, by the way, 25 00:04:14,210 --> 00:04:18,910 I hear she's really a nice person. 26 00:04:23,654 --> 00:04:26,353 Look at this dump of a town. 27 00:04:26,396 --> 00:04:29,660 Get me the fuck back to L.A. 28 00:04:29,704 --> 00:04:34,317 God, if one more asshole mentions a crab cake to me, I think I'm gonna puke. 29 00:04:34,361 --> 00:04:36,798 Well, did you try the steamed crabs ? 30 00:04:36,841 --> 00:04:40,062 They're red and really tasty.No, I did not. 31 00:04:40,105 --> 00:04:43,761 I'm not interested in any kind of meal that you have to beat with a fucking mallet, 32 00:04:43,805 --> 00:04:46,286 wearing some stupid kind of little bib. 33 00:04:46,329 --> 00:04:49,289 Just a minute ! 34 00:04:49,332 --> 00:04:52,553 While families of mutants gawk in my face. 35 00:04:52,596 --> 00:04:54,337 No, thank you. 36 00:04:55,686 --> 00:04:57,122 Hi. 37 00:04:59,211 --> 00:05:04,478 Your limousine is here, miss whitlock. You look beautiful. 38 00:05:04,521 --> 00:05:08,351 Well, thank you, Charles, darling. I'm so excited. 39 00:05:08,395 --> 00:05:10,179 We'll be right with you. 40 00:05:16,359 --> 00:05:20,711 Libby, do you think that pat Nixon got fucked in this hotel room ? 41 00:05:20,755 --> 00:05:22,452 What ? 42 00:05:22,496 --> 00:05:25,063 It is called the presidential suite, isn't it ? 43 00:05:25,107 --> 00:05:28,240 Yes, but-- 44 00:05:28,284 --> 00:05:31,853 I bet she did. Call the manager and ask him. 45 00:05:31,896 --> 00:05:35,030 I can't ask that. 46 00:05:35,073 --> 00:05:37,380 Pat Nixon was a stroke victim. 47 00:05:37,424 --> 00:05:40,775 I believe it is your job to ask, is it not ? 48 00:05:40,818 --> 00:05:44,126 Now, call downstairs and ask the manager... 49 00:05:44,169 --> 00:05:47,782 If pat Nixon got fucked in my hotel room. 50 00:05:47,825 --> 00:05:50,132 I want to know. 51 00:05:50,175 --> 00:05:52,352 Yes, miss whitlock. 52 00:05:56,660 --> 00:06:00,751 6:41 P.M. 53 00:06:00,795 --> 00:06:02,971 A star is born. 54 00:06:03,014 --> 00:06:05,190 Ten-four, petie. 55 00:06:07,279 --> 00:06:11,327 Christ, Lyle. Look ! There's what's-her-name from e! Network. 56 00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:14,069 Would you look at the tits on her ! 57 00:06:18,421 --> 00:06:20,858 6:43 P.M. 58 00:06:20,902 --> 00:06:24,514 ♪♪ 59 00:06:24,558 --> 00:06:28,039 The hotel manager said no. Pat Nixon never stayed here. 60 00:06:28,083 --> 00:06:31,956 But Nancy Reagan did in 1986.You actually asked him ? 61 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:34,611 Y-You said to call downstairs. 62 00:06:34,655 --> 00:06:39,442 You asked the hotel manager if pat Nixon had sex in my room ? 63 00:06:39,486 --> 00:06:42,445 Well, sort of. I-I thought you needed to know. 64 00:06:42,489 --> 00:06:44,926 I was kidding, Libby ! 65 00:06:44,969 --> 00:06:49,060 He must think you're a complete lunatic. 66 00:06:49,104 --> 00:06:52,673 Good god, you would do anything. 67 00:06:55,197 --> 00:06:57,373 Good luck, miss whitlock. 68 00:07:01,856 --> 00:07:06,208 Excuse me. Did you hear what that little bitch just said to me ? 69 00:07:06,251 --> 00:07:08,602 - She didn't know. - In show business, 70 00:07:08,645 --> 00:07:12,040 we say "break a leg," never fucking "good luck" ! 71 00:07:12,083 --> 00:07:15,826 That's just an old superstition.Ms. Whitlock, there's photo ops with the mayor in the lobby. 72 00:07:15,870 --> 00:07:19,482 You know, that little cocksucker just put a curse on my goddamn premiere. 73 00:07:21,919 --> 00:07:24,618 Is every person in the world an asshole ? 74 00:07:24,661 --> 00:07:27,359 6:42.oh, that's nice. 75 00:07:27,403 --> 00:07:30,319 ♪♪ 76 00:07:35,759 --> 00:07:39,633 6:44 P.M. by whatever means necessary. 77 00:07:39,676 --> 00:07:41,852 Two popcorns, please.Butter or plain ? 78 00:07:41,896 --> 00:07:43,898 Honey whitlock ! 79 00:07:43,941 --> 00:07:47,379 There she is. You better get a shot. 80 00:07:47,423 --> 00:07:49,686 Over there !miss whitlock, what an honor. 81 00:07:49,730 --> 00:07:52,863 Mayor fenwick ! 82 00:07:59,827 --> 00:08:04,092 6:46 P.M. in the name of underground cinema. 83 00:08:04,135 --> 00:08:07,878 I have to tell you that I just love what you've done with the city. 84 00:08:07,922 --> 00:08:11,752 And Baltimore loves you back. 85 00:08:13,405 --> 00:08:17,801 I, Adam fenwick, mayor of the city of Baltimore, 86 00:08:17,845 --> 00:08:20,630 do hereby proclaim October 29... 87 00:08:20,674 --> 00:08:23,241 To be honey whitlock day in Baltimore... 88 00:08:23,285 --> 00:08:26,636 And do command this observation to all of our citizens. 89 00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:28,812 Whereas-- 90 00:08:35,123 --> 00:08:37,517 6:47 P.M. 91 00:08:37,560 --> 00:08:41,172 Hey, hey, m.P.A.A., how many movies did you censor today ? 92 00:08:49,441 --> 00:08:51,835 What's the matter, miss whitlock ? 93 00:08:51,879 --> 00:08:54,142 A white fucking limousine ! 94 00:08:55,709 --> 00:08:58,059 Nobody'll know. We're in Baltimore. 95 00:08:58,102 --> 00:09:02,411 Do I look like liberace's goddamn boyfriend, for Christ's sake ? 96 00:09:02,454 --> 00:09:06,763 I have "black limousine only" in my contract. 97 00:09:06,807 --> 00:09:10,245 The charity probably made the arrangements. It was an honest mistake. 98 00:09:10,288 --> 00:09:13,465 Do I look like a coke dealer ?no, miss whitlock. 99 00:09:13,509 --> 00:09:16,381 Do I look like I am going to the fucking prom ? 100 00:09:16,425 --> 00:09:19,994 Break a leg, miss whitlock. 101 00:09:20,037 --> 00:09:21,996 Here you go, sir. 102 00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:31,832 Uh, miss whitlock, security's gonna have my ass if we're late. We gotta go. 103 00:09:31,875 --> 00:09:34,965 Do not say "ass" to me, trailer trash. 104 00:09:35,009 --> 00:09:38,186 I will have you fired. 105 00:09:44,496 --> 00:09:46,934 Now, you're with the studio, is that correct ? 106 00:09:46,977 --> 00:09:50,546 Yes. Oh, oh, I'm sorry. Let me get that for you. 107 00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:54,289 Got it right here. Yeah. Here you go. 108 00:09:54,332 --> 00:09:58,075 I'm so sorry. Here, these first two right there. Okay, enjoy the show. 109 00:09:58,119 --> 00:10:01,731 Yeah, 6:48 P.M. an Usher's job is never done. 110 00:10:01,775 --> 00:10:04,691 Put down the flashlight, pick up the gun. 111 00:10:21,011 --> 00:10:26,190 Some kind of happiness is, you know, a screwball romantic comedy. 112 00:10:26,234 --> 00:10:30,891 It's life-affirming but realistic, and, well, to be honest, 113 00:10:30,934 --> 00:10:33,981 with all the misery that goes on in the world today, 114 00:10:34,024 --> 00:10:36,636 couldn't we use a little optimism in the movies ? 115 00:10:48,386 --> 00:10:52,173 6:50 P.M. fuck the studio system ! 116 00:10:52,216 --> 00:10:54,262 Tickets, please. 117 00:10:58,788 --> 00:11:02,226 The heart fund's a wonderful cause. Thanks for your support. 118 00:11:02,270 --> 00:11:04,228 You're welcome. 119 00:11:04,272 --> 00:11:08,537 7:01 P.M. inch by motherfucking inch. 120 00:11:08,580 --> 00:11:10,757 Yes, sir ?two for henman. 121 00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:14,151 Why don't you just sit right there ? 122 00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:28,339 7:02 P.M. 123 00:11:28,383 --> 00:11:31,691 When the word is given, we will seize the cinema. 124 00:11:36,260 --> 00:11:39,263 Hey, come back ! Give me an autograph ! 125 00:11:42,527 --> 00:11:45,008 7:06 P.M. the big snatch. 126 00:11:45,052 --> 00:11:47,750 Good evening, miss whitlock, 127 00:11:47,794 --> 00:11:50,405 and welcome to the historic senator theater. 128 00:11:50,448 --> 00:11:52,407 Thank you. 129 00:12:07,944 --> 00:12:10,294 Enjoy the show.Thank you. 130 00:12:10,338 --> 00:12:13,341 Good evening. I'm Sylvia Mallory, 131 00:12:13,384 --> 00:12:15,517 the chairman of the Baltimore heart fund, 132 00:12:15,560 --> 00:12:18,041 and this is William. 133 00:12:18,085 --> 00:12:20,217 He's so cute. 134 00:12:23,873 --> 00:12:28,051 William had heart surgery just seven days ago. 135 00:12:28,095 --> 00:12:32,099 And thanks to the blood transfusions paid for by your generosity... 136 00:12:32,142 --> 00:12:35,711 At tonight's premiere, he's going to be all right. 137 00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:37,713 Aren't you, William ? 138 00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:39,976 I don't wanna be here ! 139 00:12:40,020 --> 00:12:42,457 William's a little grumpy. 140 00:12:42,500 --> 00:12:44,372 Get off of me, ugly ! 141 00:12:44,415 --> 00:12:46,809 But he's alive, and that's what counts. 142 00:12:50,987 --> 00:12:53,424 Miss whitlock ! Miss whitlock ! 143 00:12:53,468 --> 00:12:56,645 Miss whitlock, please ! 144 00:12:56,688 --> 00:12:58,908 What ? 145 00:12:58,952 --> 00:13:01,345 Channel 45 here. Can I ask you a couple questions ? 146 00:13:05,219 --> 00:13:08,526 And now for the moment you've all been waiting for. 147 00:13:08,570 --> 00:13:11,312 You first saw honey whitlock on the screen-- 148 00:13:11,355 --> 00:13:13,836 you guys have reserved seats.Thank you. 149 00:13:23,454 --> 00:13:27,589 7:09 P.M. honey whitlock, welcome to film hell. 150 00:13:30,157 --> 00:13:34,988 And from then on, hit after hit.7:09 P.M. and 30 seconds. 151 00:13:35,031 --> 00:13:38,469 The big hurt.Watch it, you little fucker ! 152 00:13:40,123 --> 00:13:43,910 Her Oscar-nominated performance in forced entry. 153 00:13:43,953 --> 00:13:48,392 And tonight, some kind of happiness. 154 00:13:50,481 --> 00:13:52,744 And now, ladies and gentlemen, 155 00:13:52,788 --> 00:13:56,836 a big Baltimore welcome for miss honey whitlock. 156 00:13:56,879 --> 00:13:59,839 ♪♪ 157 00:14:33,481 --> 00:14:36,266 Thank you, thank you. You're so kind. 158 00:14:36,310 --> 00:14:41,271 Um, I just wanted to say that I hope you enjoy the movie, and I just-- 159 00:14:41,315 --> 00:14:44,013 I love you, Baltimore. I really do. 160 00:14:45,972 --> 00:14:50,367 I am Cecil b. Demented, and this is a fucking kidnapping ! 161 00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:55,068 Get down, everybody ! 162 00:15:01,161 --> 00:15:03,119 ♪♪ 163 00:15:07,994 --> 00:15:10,300 Son of a bitch ! 164 00:15:15,349 --> 00:15:18,047 Keep moving ! 165 00:15:36,413 --> 00:15:38,981 Help ! Hey ! 166 00:15:41,810 --> 00:15:44,465 Women in film !all right, sister ! 167 00:15:44,508 --> 00:15:48,730 Hey, she's got photo approval ! 168 00:15:48,773 --> 00:15:52,342 Honey ! Honey ! 169 00:15:52,386 --> 00:15:54,692 Help me !get out ! Premiere's over ! 170 00:15:54,736 --> 00:15:56,607 Come on, you guys ! Come on, come on ! 171 00:16:03,223 --> 00:16:06,922 Yeah ! Yeah ! 172 00:16:11,057 --> 00:16:13,450 Drop your weapon ! 173 00:16:18,499 --> 00:16:20,501 Get down ! 174 00:16:20,544 --> 00:16:23,504 Help ! Call the studio ! Call Jack valenti ! 175 00:16:23,547 --> 00:16:26,507 Help me, somebody !get in the trunk ! 176 00:16:26,550 --> 00:16:29,466 Shut up ! Get in there !no ! No ! No ! 177 00:16:29,510 --> 00:16:32,295 Get in there !oh, shit ! Oh ! No ! 178 00:16:32,339 --> 00:16:35,081 Get in there ! Rodney, come on ! Let's go ! 179 00:16:35,124 --> 00:16:39,346 Power to the people who punish bad cinema ! 180 00:16:39,389 --> 00:16:41,609 Help ! 181 00:16:41,652 --> 00:16:44,220 ♪ Bankable bitch we don't need no pitch ♪ 182 00:16:44,264 --> 00:16:47,049 ♪ bankable bitch we don't need no pitch ♪ 183 00:16:47,093 --> 00:16:49,051 ♪ I'm sorry, shorty it's business ♪ 184 00:16:49,095 --> 00:16:51,532 ♪ 'cause this is how we live this this business is hard ♪ 185 00:16:51,575 --> 00:16:53,621 ♪ without a star, kid yeah, you all that ♪ 186 00:16:53,664 --> 00:16:55,797 ♪ but you won't be receiving no callbacks ♪ 187 00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:57,799 ♪ or getting money in tall stacks ♪ 188 00:16:57,842 --> 00:16:59,931 ♪ we gotcha, and we gonna use your face proper ♪ 189 00:16:59,975 --> 00:17:02,064 ♪ bitch, you can forget about an Oscar ♪ 190 00:17:02,108 --> 00:17:04,066 ♪ and shrimp and lobster 191 00:17:04,110 --> 00:17:06,068 ♪ hopin' we could get ya 192 00:17:06,112 --> 00:17:09,071 ♪ to come here and open our picture ♪ 193 00:17:09,115 --> 00:17:12,335 ♪ you all alone with the cine-niggas fuck the private trailer ♪ 194 00:17:12,379 --> 00:17:15,382 ♪ dance lessons with Irene Cara, it's flagrant we using your name trick ♪ 195 00:17:15,425 --> 00:17:17,601 ♪ discuss gross points with your agent ♪ 196 00:17:17,645 --> 00:17:19,516 ♪ 'cause from us you ain't gettin' shit ♪ 197 00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:21,823 ♪ bankable bitch we don't need no pitch ♪ 198 00:17:21,866 --> 00:17:24,217 ♪ bankable bitch we don't need no pitch ♪ 199 00:17:24,260 --> 00:17:26,610 ♪ she's a bankable bitch we don't need no pitch ♪ 200 00:17:26,654 --> 00:17:29,265 ♪ she's a bankable bitch we don't need no pitch ♪ 201 00:17:29,309 --> 00:17:32,486 ♪ she's a bankable bitch we don't need no pitch ♪♪ 202 00:17:46,152 --> 00:17:48,241 Hello, miss whitlock. 203 00:17:53,985 --> 00:17:57,076 I am Cecil b. Demented, and I'm your new director. 204 00:17:57,119 --> 00:18:00,427 I'd like you to meet your co-stars. 205 00:18:00,470 --> 00:18:03,082 I call them the sprocket holes. This is Cherish. 206 00:18:04,909 --> 00:18:08,522 Hi. I played you in lots of porno movies. 207 00:18:08,565 --> 00:18:12,221 Some kind of happiness-- I've already shot it, 208 00:18:12,265 --> 00:18:14,658 only it's called some kind of horniness. 209 00:18:14,702 --> 00:18:19,576 That's all behind me. I'm an outlaw cinema girl now. 210 00:18:19,620 --> 00:18:22,318 - Lyle. - Hi. I'm Lyle. 211 00:18:24,364 --> 00:18:27,106 I'm your leading man. 212 00:18:29,195 --> 00:18:32,937 I've had a boner for you for years. 213 00:18:32,981 --> 00:18:37,594 Don't worry. We've all taken a vow of celibacy for celluloid. 214 00:18:37,638 --> 00:18:40,467 No one gets laid until we've finished our movie. 215 00:18:40,510 --> 00:18:44,732 We're horny... 216 00:18:44,775 --> 00:18:47,256 But our film comes first. 217 00:18:47,300 --> 00:18:49,345 And now for the crew. 218 00:18:52,305 --> 00:18:54,872 I'm Pam. 219 00:18:56,570 --> 00:18:59,703 I'm director of photography, and you better hit your Mark. 220 00:19:03,968 --> 00:19:07,276 And remember, speak up, bitch ! 221 00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:09,409 I'm chardonnay, and I do the sound. 222 00:19:16,764 --> 00:19:20,333 I'm Lewis, the art director, and I hope you dig it here. 223 00:19:22,073 --> 00:19:25,033 'Cause you ain't goin' nowhere else. 224 00:19:26,426 --> 00:19:30,212 I'm fidget, the costumer. 225 00:19:30,256 --> 00:19:34,129 Sorry. I gotta give you a new look. 226 00:19:35,826 --> 00:19:38,481 Hi. 227 00:19:38,525 --> 00:19:41,528 I'm raven. I'm a satanist, and I'll be doing your makeup. 228 00:19:41,571 --> 00:19:45,227 Oh, my god, you look so pale. 229 00:19:46,750 --> 00:19:49,100 Sorry... 230 00:19:49,144 --> 00:19:51,842 But Satan says you need more color. 231 00:19:53,670 --> 00:19:56,630 Call me Rodney. 232 00:19:56,673 --> 00:20:00,242 Tomorrow, I'm bleaching your hair out platinum. 233 00:20:00,286 --> 00:20:02,462 And I should warn you. 234 00:20:02,505 --> 00:20:04,812 I hate fucking roots ! 235 00:20:06,553 --> 00:20:09,991 Hey, remember me ? I'm petie. I'll be your driver. 236 00:20:10,034 --> 00:20:13,124 ♪♪ I'll take you anywhere. 237 00:20:13,168 --> 00:20:17,694 Anywhere but home. 238 00:20:24,658 --> 00:20:26,399 I'm dinah, Cecil's producer. 239 00:20:28,531 --> 00:20:30,838 And I do everything. 240 00:20:30,881 --> 00:20:33,623 I've been knocking down money from every big Hollywood hit... 241 00:20:33,667 --> 00:20:36,191 For years just to pay for this equipment ! 242 00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:39,150 So fuck with me, sister, and you're dead ! 243 00:20:42,328 --> 00:20:44,939 We made the news. 244 00:20:46,549 --> 00:20:49,291 So once again, our top story: Sylvia Mallory, 245 00:20:49,335 --> 00:20:51,946 the 52-year-old chairwoman of the Baltimore heart fund, 246 00:20:51,989 --> 00:20:55,254 died tonight at union memorial hospital... 247 00:20:55,297 --> 00:20:57,778 Following an onstage heart attack she suffered... 248 00:20:57,821 --> 00:21:01,347 In the middle of honey whitlock's kidnapping at tonight's movie premiere. 249 00:21:01,390 --> 00:21:04,219 The teenage gang of cinema terrorists... 250 00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:07,527 Who apparently infiltrated the staff of the senator theater... 251 00:21:07,570 --> 00:21:10,617 Are now eligible for the death penalty in the state of Maryland. 252 00:21:10,660 --> 00:21:13,054 None of them have been apprehended. 253 00:21:15,317 --> 00:21:19,408 We're gonna make our first film, miss whitlock, and nobody's gonna stop us. 254 00:21:19,452 --> 00:21:22,324 Lots of kids dream of making a movie, 255 00:21:22,368 --> 00:21:25,545 but only the ones willing to die for it succeed. 256 00:21:30,376 --> 00:21:33,161 ♪♪ 257 00:21:38,384 --> 00:21:42,475 Ow ! Ow ! Ow ! Ow ! Ow ! 258 00:21:42,518 --> 00:21:44,607 I don't wanna be blonde ! 259 00:21:44,651 --> 00:21:47,610 You're going off the deep end of the clairol color chart. 260 00:21:47,654 --> 00:21:50,134 Ow ! It is burning my scalp ! 261 00:21:50,178 --> 00:21:53,834 Hey, beauty comes from agony. 262 00:21:53,877 --> 00:21:55,879 Everybody knows that. 263 00:21:55,923 --> 00:22:00,754 I haven't had this much fun since my last livestock mutilation. 264 00:22:00,797 --> 00:22:03,713 Ouch ! That really hurts ! 265 00:22:03,757 --> 00:22:07,978 In the house of pain, there are 10,000 shrines. 266 00:22:08,022 --> 00:22:10,372 Allistair crowley said that. 267 00:22:10,416 --> 00:22:12,635 Let's wash her out. 268 00:22:12,679 --> 00:22:16,726 No, no. Please let me go. I won't tell anybody about your little movie. 269 00:22:16,770 --> 00:22:19,076 Little ? 270 00:22:20,991 --> 00:22:25,561 Well, I didn't mean little. I meant, like, low budget, like cult. 271 00:22:25,605 --> 00:22:28,695 Good morning, miss whitlock. Know your lines ? 272 00:22:28,738 --> 00:22:30,914 Please, Mr. Demento-- is that correct ? 273 00:22:30,958 --> 00:22:33,221 Demented ! 274 00:22:33,264 --> 00:22:36,398 You have the wrong star for this movie. 275 00:22:36,442 --> 00:22:40,359 Nonsense, miss whitlock. I wrote the part just for you. 276 00:22:40,402 --> 00:22:43,405 And the whole world is watching. 277 00:22:43,449 --> 00:22:46,190 Not even your agent can help you now. 278 00:22:46,234 --> 00:22:49,280 Finish her hair ! 279 00:22:49,324 --> 00:22:52,588 Ow ! Ow, ow ! It's burning my scalp ! 280 00:22:52,632 --> 00:22:54,982 Ow ! Shit !shut up ! 281 00:22:55,025 --> 00:22:59,247 I hate these fucking things. Damn security devices ! 282 00:22:59,290 --> 00:23:02,032 Fidget, fidget, my little genius fidget. 283 00:23:02,076 --> 00:23:05,427 - Ow ! - Please take off your clothes. 284 00:23:05,471 --> 00:23:07,777 What ? 285 00:23:07,821 --> 00:23:10,214 I said take off your clothes. 286 00:23:10,258 --> 00:23:14,218 You heard me. Don't be a prude. 287 00:23:14,262 --> 00:23:17,091 Come on, strip !oh, shit. 288 00:23:17,134 --> 00:23:20,268 Yeah, yeah, take 'em off. 289 00:23:24,490 --> 00:23:27,231 Um... 290 00:23:27,275 --> 00:23:30,757 Do I have a dressing room or a trailer ? 291 00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:34,369 Miss whitlock, we're on a schedule. 292 00:23:42,333 --> 00:23:45,467 They're not allowed any form of sexual release. 293 00:23:45,511 --> 00:23:49,471 Screen actors guild is gonna hear about this, and I mean it. God ! 294 00:23:52,518 --> 00:23:55,782 Look at that ass ! Goddamn ! 295 00:23:55,825 --> 00:23:58,001 Nice vessel. 296 00:24:00,134 --> 00:24:03,354 - I see London. - I see France. 297 00:24:03,398 --> 00:24:05,531 I see honey's underpants. 298 00:24:10,318 --> 00:24:13,190 Oh, my god ! I look terrible ! 299 00:24:17,238 --> 00:24:20,894 All right ! All right ! You're wanted on set. 300 00:24:24,550 --> 00:24:26,987 This is sprocket house, miss whitlock. 301 00:24:27,030 --> 00:24:29,772 Think of it as your studio. 302 00:24:29,816 --> 00:24:32,122 Morning. 303 00:24:32,166 --> 00:24:34,734 Can't you even say good morning to Lewis ? 304 00:24:34,777 --> 00:24:37,476 He's worked very hard on this set with a budget of zero. 305 00:24:37,519 --> 00:24:40,348 Morning.all these materials... 306 00:24:40,391 --> 00:24:43,960 Were stolen from city-owned construction sites, just for you. 307 00:24:44,004 --> 00:24:46,963 See, we gonna have us a hit, miss whitlock. 308 00:24:47,007 --> 00:24:49,879 Now, our picture is called raving beauty. 309 00:24:49,923 --> 00:24:52,578 You play the insane owner of a failed art theater... 310 00:24:52,621 --> 00:24:54,841 Who, along with her film fanatic boyfriend Lyle-- 311 00:24:54,884 --> 00:24:56,799 Lyle, come on over. 312 00:24:56,843 --> 00:25:00,063 And her violence-prone daughter Cherish-- 313 00:25:00,107 --> 00:25:02,065 daughter ? 314 00:25:02,109 --> 00:25:05,199 Together, the three of you vow... 315 00:25:05,242 --> 00:25:08,811 To start a revolution to destroy mainstream cinema. 316 00:25:09,943 --> 00:25:12,467 I can't be in this movie. 317 00:25:12,511 --> 00:25:15,644 You dare to tell Cecil b. Demented you refuse ? 318 00:25:15,688 --> 00:25:19,343 I am too young to play her mother. 319 00:25:19,387 --> 00:25:21,520 I know how old you are. 320 00:25:23,086 --> 00:25:25,393 All right, well, I just don't feel it. 321 00:25:25,436 --> 00:25:28,527 I just am not motivated.How's this for motivation, huh ? 322 00:25:28,570 --> 00:25:30,746 Ow ! 323 00:25:30,790 --> 00:25:33,749 There are no creative differences on a Cecil b. Demented set. 324 00:25:33,793 --> 00:25:36,056 You got that ? 325 00:25:36,099 --> 00:25:39,363 One day you'll thank me for saving you from your bad career. Places ! 326 00:25:39,407 --> 00:25:42,366 All right, walk-through rehearsal. 327 00:25:42,410 --> 00:25:44,978 Come on, you heard him. This ain't Hollywood. 328 00:25:45,021 --> 00:25:47,502 Hey, honey, you want some ecstasy ? 329 00:25:47,546 --> 00:25:50,244 No. 330 00:25:50,287 --> 00:25:55,075 And... action. 331 00:25:56,642 --> 00:25:59,253 Hey, Cherish, it's 8:00. 332 00:25:59,296 --> 00:26:01,560 Is it time to get this show on the screen or what ? 333 00:26:01,603 --> 00:26:04,737 We didn't sell one ticket, Lyle. Nobody came. 334 00:26:04,780 --> 00:26:08,218 What ? Pasolini's playing, and we have an empty theater ? 335 00:26:12,309 --> 00:26:15,704 "It's that fucking new multiplex that opened in the mall." 336 00:26:15,748 --> 00:26:18,664 I heard they were sold out last night, mom. 337 00:26:18,707 --> 00:26:22,102 No, not for the flintstones sequel ! 338 00:26:22,145 --> 00:26:25,235 "Somebody's got to pay for this insult." 339 00:26:25,279 --> 00:26:28,587 Oh, god ! 340 00:26:31,633 --> 00:26:36,856 "From the empty seats of every good movie theater in america... 341 00:26:39,336 --> 00:26:42,296 "We will rise up to take back the screen. 342 00:26:47,344 --> 00:26:51,566 Death to those who support mainstream cinema." 343 00:26:51,610 --> 00:26:55,439 Do you see the pain your performance is causing me, huh ! 344 00:26:55,483 --> 00:26:58,834 Okay, yes, I do. Fine, I'll do it. 345 00:26:58,878 --> 00:27:01,228 Okay ? Let's just shoot it. Fine ! 346 00:27:01,271 --> 00:27:05,188 All right, places ! Pam ! 347 00:27:05,232 --> 00:27:09,410 Picture's up ! Camera rolling ! 348 00:27:09,453 --> 00:27:11,630 Speed.mark it ! 349 00:27:11,673 --> 00:27:13,849 And... action ! 350 00:27:13,893 --> 00:27:17,113 Hey, Cherish, it's 8:00. 351 00:27:17,157 --> 00:27:19,420 Is it time to get this show on the screen or what ? 352 00:27:19,463 --> 00:27:22,379 We didn't sell one ticket, Lyle. Nobody came. 353 00:27:22,423 --> 00:27:25,992 What ? Pasolini's playing, and we have an empty theater ? 354 00:27:26,035 --> 00:27:30,605 It's that fucking new multiplex that opened in the mall, isn't it ? 355 00:27:30,649 --> 00:27:33,477 I heard they were sold out last night, mom. 356 00:27:33,521 --> 00:27:35,784 No, not for the flintstones sequel. 357 00:27:35,828 --> 00:27:39,048 Somebody's gotta pay for this insult. 358 00:27:39,092 --> 00:27:42,486 From the empty seats of every good movie theater in america... 359 00:27:42,530 --> 00:27:45,925 We will rise up to take back the screen. 360 00:27:45,968 --> 00:27:49,363 Death to those who support mainstream cinema ! 361 00:27:49,406 --> 00:27:51,757 Cut ! And print it ! 362 00:27:53,933 --> 00:27:56,587 That's more like it, miss whitlock. 363 00:27:56,631 --> 00:27:59,765 Yeah ! Yeah ! 364 00:27:59,808 --> 00:28:03,246 But, you know, to be frank, Cecil-- 365 00:28:03,290 --> 00:28:07,120 I mean, in my real film life, I would never make this movie. 366 00:28:07,163 --> 00:28:09,905 I mean, the message is absolutely ridiculous. 367 00:28:09,949 --> 00:28:12,865 Ask theater owners in any country, 368 00:28:12,908 --> 00:28:16,346 and they will tell you that Hollywood makes the best films in the world, 369 00:28:16,390 --> 00:28:18,479 and I am proud to be a part of that system. 370 00:28:18,522 --> 00:28:20,437 Let's move on. 371 00:28:22,352 --> 00:28:24,224 Well, wait a minute. No coverage ? 372 00:28:26,182 --> 00:28:28,445 The first take is the only real truth. 373 00:28:28,489 --> 00:28:31,666 But you can't cut a film with just a master. 374 00:28:31,710 --> 00:28:35,975 There are no rules in outlaw cinema, miss whitlock. Only edges. 375 00:28:36,018 --> 00:28:39,587 We believe technique to be nothing more than failed style. 376 00:28:39,630 --> 00:28:42,242 You see, I've had a vision. 377 00:28:45,462 --> 00:28:48,074 And that vision is called ultimate reality ! 378 00:28:48,117 --> 00:28:52,992 The rest of our film is shot in real life with real people... 379 00:28:53,035 --> 00:28:55,559 And, yes, with real terror. 380 00:29:07,006 --> 00:29:09,573 I see a fucking root already. 381 00:29:09,617 --> 00:29:12,838 Ow ! Cecil, I'm a much better actress in a studio. 382 00:29:12,881 --> 00:29:15,971 That's not whattime magazine has to say. 383 00:29:16,015 --> 00:29:18,582 "Miss whitlock seems a little ill at ease and past her prime... 384 00:29:18,626 --> 00:29:21,237 "To carry a picture by herself. 385 00:29:21,281 --> 00:29:24,763 Especially one as sappy and overproduced as some kind of happiness." 386 00:29:24,806 --> 00:29:28,897 - Timemagazine said that ? - Your movie's gonna lose $30 million. 387 00:29:28,941 --> 00:29:32,292 Can I ask you a question ? 388 00:29:32,335 --> 00:29:34,947 Did you ever fuck Mel Gibson ? 389 00:29:36,426 --> 00:29:38,907 Cecil, give yourself up. It's not too late. 390 00:29:38,951 --> 00:29:42,650 Our movie goes into profit the day we sell the first ticket. 391 00:29:42,693 --> 00:29:45,087 How big is his dick, anyway ? 392 00:29:45,131 --> 00:29:47,568 You know what ? Come with me to Hollywood, 393 00:29:47,611 --> 00:29:51,224 and I will get you a job as a production assistant on a real Hollywood movie. 394 00:29:51,267 --> 00:29:54,618 Tell me about Mel Gibson's dick and balls ! 395 00:29:54,662 --> 00:29:57,404 ♪♪ 396 00:30:17,337 --> 00:30:21,732 Dr. Patch, Dr. Patch, we need it ! Help us ! 397 00:30:21,776 --> 00:30:24,344 Dr. Patch ! 398 00:30:24,387 --> 00:30:27,173 Dr. Patch, Dr. Patch, please ! 399 00:30:27,216 --> 00:30:30,829 Okay, now remember, there are no bad takes in a Cecil b. Demented picture. 400 00:30:30,872 --> 00:30:35,050 Just keep the scene going.Hey, honey, I've never taken this much acid before. 401 00:30:35,094 --> 00:30:37,487 So if I forget my lines, cue me. 402 00:30:37,531 --> 00:30:41,883 Do my tits look okay ? They're more natural than yours, you know. 403 00:30:41,927 --> 00:30:44,755 Cecil, please don't make me do this scene. 404 00:30:44,799 --> 00:30:47,933 Your Hollywood system stole our sex and co-opted our violence, 405 00:30:47,976 --> 00:30:50,849 so there's nothing left for our kinds of movies, except this. 406 00:30:50,892 --> 00:30:54,156 Picture's up ! 407 00:30:56,419 --> 00:30:58,552 Go ! Go ! 408 00:30:58,595 --> 00:31:02,904 Pam, right here ! Roll camera ! 409 00:31:02,948 --> 00:31:04,906 - Camera rolling. - Speed ! 410 00:31:04,950 --> 00:31:07,300 - Mark it ! - Action ! 411 00:31:07,343 --> 00:31:10,912 Sabotage the cinema ! Take back the screen ! 412 00:31:10,956 --> 00:31:14,742 Vandalize the movies ! Bring back the dream ! 413 00:31:14,785 --> 00:31:18,528 This is so stupid. 414 00:31:18,572 --> 00:31:21,880 - Say the lines the way they're written ! - Okay. 415 00:31:21,923 --> 00:31:23,925 You read the fucking script ! 416 00:31:23,969 --> 00:31:26,145 All right, Rodney ! 417 00:31:26,188 --> 00:31:28,277 Enough, Rodney ! She looks great ! 418 00:31:28,321 --> 00:31:32,281 Thank you.We gotta go ! I said, action ! 419 00:31:32,325 --> 00:31:34,240 How dare you play patch Adams! 420 00:31:34,283 --> 00:31:36,416 Oh, my god ! It's honey whitlock ! 421 00:31:36,459 --> 00:31:39,506 Patch adamsdoes not deserve a director's cut. 422 00:31:39,549 --> 00:31:41,551 The first one was long enough ! 423 00:31:41,595 --> 00:31:44,511 Hey, you ! You got a problem ? 424 00:31:44,554 --> 00:31:46,905 Feel the pain of underground film ! 425 00:31:46,948 --> 00:31:49,124 The kick of outlaw cinema ! 426 00:31:49,168 --> 00:31:52,301 Wow, honey, I'm peaking. 427 00:31:53,955 --> 00:31:56,610 I'm Cecil b. Demented, and you're in my movie. 428 00:31:56,653 --> 00:31:59,526 If you look in the camera and ruin a take, you're dead. 429 00:31:59,569 --> 00:32:02,268 Do you know Quentin Tarantino ? I love his movies ! 430 00:32:02,311 --> 00:32:04,357 No ad-libbing ! 431 00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:07,403 Three dollars for a fucking candy bar ! 432 00:32:07,447 --> 00:32:09,623 You call that a medium ! 433 00:32:09,666 --> 00:32:12,843 This is still popped in coconut oil, isn't it ? 434 00:32:15,063 --> 00:32:16,891 Hey, what's the trouble here ? 435 00:32:16,935 --> 00:32:19,720 Nobody needs this garbage. 436 00:32:21,940 --> 00:32:25,073 We are the ultimate bad review. 437 00:32:25,117 --> 00:32:29,643 Please, please. I-I didn't make this movie. I'm just the manager. 438 00:32:29,686 --> 00:32:32,559 Let's go ! 439 00:32:32,602 --> 00:32:35,344 No, it's mine !give it to me, you bastard ! 440 00:32:35,388 --> 00:32:39,131 Dr. Patch, these brats won't give me the-- 441 00:32:39,174 --> 00:32:42,047 Dr. Patch, Dr. Patch, please ! 442 00:32:42,090 --> 00:32:45,050 Places everybody ! Lyle, Cherish, get in here ! 443 00:32:45,093 --> 00:32:48,314 Say the lines ! And action ! 444 00:32:48,357 --> 00:32:51,186 You don't have to like this movie. 445 00:32:51,230 --> 00:32:53,362 You're a victim of advertising ! 446 00:32:53,406 --> 00:32:55,886 You've been manipulated by press agents ! 447 00:32:55,930 --> 00:32:59,412 Patch Adams, you're dead. 448 00:33:04,504 --> 00:33:07,724 Everybody wrap it up and run ! 449 00:33:21,825 --> 00:33:23,958 ♪ Hey, yo, man, listen up 450 00:33:24,002 --> 00:33:26,352 ♪ when we say action we mean action, yo ♪ 451 00:33:26,395 --> 00:33:28,876 ♪ ain't nobody puttin' us in turnaround ♪ 452 00:33:28,919 --> 00:33:31,531 ♪ you got that, motherfucker we ain't got no budget ♪ 453 00:33:31,574 --> 00:33:33,750 ♪ no budget ♪ no craft service, man 454 00:33:33,794 --> 00:33:36,797 ♪ no budget ♪ we don't take no notes 455 00:33:36,840 --> 00:33:39,191 ♪ no budget ♪ no fucking call sheets, yo 456 00:33:39,234 --> 00:33:41,758 ♪ no budget ♪ we ain't recouping shit 457 00:33:41,802 --> 00:33:45,066 come on, Cecil, I want a little action of my own. 458 00:33:45,110 --> 00:33:47,112 I'm trying to write, Cherish. 459 00:33:47,155 --> 00:33:49,679 ♪ We gonna turn Hollywood out ♪♪ no budget 460 00:33:49,723 --> 00:33:52,682 ♪ we don't need the help of so-called critics ♪ 461 00:33:52,726 --> 00:33:55,076 ♪ outlaw cinema, brother with the hottest gunslingers ♪yeah ! 462 00:33:55,120 --> 00:33:57,383 ♪ When we say action cameras start to spin ♪ 463 00:33:57,426 --> 00:33:59,341 ♪ rip all your studio's fucking asshole clean ♪ 464 00:33:59,385 --> 00:34:02,301 ♪ if I direct, ain't gonna be no motherfuckin' scenes ♪ 465 00:34:02,344 --> 00:34:04,564 ♪ we'll do the edits see what no budget means ♪ 466 00:34:04,607 --> 00:34:07,045 ♪ it's either our way or no way fuck keeping it clean ♪ 467 00:34:07,088 --> 00:34:09,612 Ohhh ! ♪ no budget 468 00:34:09,656 --> 00:34:11,701 ♪ no craft service, man ♪ no budget 469 00:34:11,745 --> 00:34:13,964 ♪ we don't take no notes ♪ no budget 470 00:34:14,008 --> 00:34:16,402 ♪ no fucking call sheets, yo ♪ no budget 471 00:34:16,445 --> 00:34:18,578 ♪ we ain't recouping shit ♪ no budget 472 00:34:18,621 --> 00:34:20,754 ♪ yeah, we got a start date for real ♪ ♪ no budget 473 00:34:20,797 --> 00:34:23,061 ♪ yo, this picture's a go ♪ no budget 474 00:34:23,104 --> 00:34:26,325 ♪ we gonna turn Hollywood out ♪ ♪ no budget 475 00:34:26,368 --> 00:34:29,328 ♪♪ it's goat urine. 476 00:34:29,371 --> 00:34:32,200 You want some ?no. 477 00:34:32,244 --> 00:34:36,509 It's a Satan thing. 478 00:34:36,552 --> 00:34:39,425 Oh, god, you're so good in our movie. 479 00:34:39,468 --> 00:34:41,601 ♪ We ain't got no budget ♪ no budget 480 00:34:41,644 --> 00:34:43,603 ♪ no craft service, man ♪ no budget 481 00:34:43,646 --> 00:34:45,605 ♪ we don't take no notes ♪ no budget 482 00:34:45,648 --> 00:34:47,607 ♪ no fucking call sheets, yo ♪ no budget 483 00:34:47,650 --> 00:34:50,523 craft service ? ♪ we ain't recouping shit 484 00:34:50,566 --> 00:34:54,135 - no, thank you, fidget. - I never drink when I'm working. ♪♪ 485 00:34:54,179 --> 00:34:56,746 That's very kind of you. 486 00:34:56,790 --> 00:35:01,534 Hey, fidget, do your parents know where you are tonight ? 487 00:35:01,577 --> 00:35:05,190 They're probably mad. 488 00:35:05,233 --> 00:35:08,280 Why don't you give them a call ? 489 00:35:10,760 --> 00:35:15,765 Cecil says our parents are the enemies of film. 490 00:35:15,809 --> 00:35:19,856 That's such nonsense. Go ahead, call 'em up. 491 00:35:19,900 --> 00:35:22,076 I bet they really miss you. 492 00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:24,296 Hey, honey, you want some crack ? 493 00:35:24,339 --> 00:35:27,342 I most certainly do not, Lyle. 494 00:35:27,386 --> 00:35:31,564 How can you be a drug addict in the new millennium ? It's so retro. 495 00:35:31,607 --> 00:35:36,177 Before I was a drug addict, I had so many different problems. 496 00:35:36,221 --> 00:35:40,964 Now I just have one. Drugs gave my life real focus. 497 00:35:41,008 --> 00:35:43,924 ♪ Keep those cameras rolling motherfuckers start to spin ♪ 498 00:35:43,967 --> 00:35:46,361 ♪ if I direct, there ain't gonna be no motherfuckin' scenes ♪ 499 00:35:46,405 --> 00:35:49,277 ♪ we'll do the edits see what no budget means ♪ 500 00:35:49,321 --> 00:35:52,280 ♪♪ how can you see me on film and not want to fuck me ? 501 00:35:52,324 --> 00:35:55,370 I do want to fuck you, Cherish, but you know I can't. 502 00:35:55,414 --> 00:35:58,808 Why not ? All my directors fuck me. 503 00:35:58,852 --> 00:36:02,682 I'm not all your directors ! I'm Cecil b. Demented, 504 00:36:02,725 --> 00:36:04,423 the ultimate auteur ! 505 00:36:10,211 --> 00:36:12,518 ♪ We ain't got no budget ♪ no budget 506 00:36:12,561 --> 00:36:17,914 soldiers of cinema, save your sexual energy for the screen. 507 00:36:17,958 --> 00:36:23,137 Our footage is stronger than Otto preminger's ! 508 00:36:23,181 --> 00:36:27,141 Creepier and darker than David lynch's ! 509 00:36:27,185 --> 00:36:31,145 More exploitive than herschel Gordon Lewis. 510 00:36:31,189 --> 00:36:33,495 And more violent than Sam Fuller. 511 00:36:36,194 --> 00:36:39,066 We will rise above our raging hormones... 512 00:36:39,109 --> 00:36:41,808 To a new level of cinema unrest. 513 00:36:41,851 --> 00:36:45,638 Do whatever it takes to avoid sexual release ! 514 00:36:45,681 --> 00:36:49,250 Get as drunk as Sam peckinpah ! 515 00:36:49,294 --> 00:36:52,732 As high as rainer Werner fassbinder ! 516 00:36:52,775 --> 00:36:55,604 But stay celibate for celluloid ! Yeah ! 517 00:36:55,648 --> 00:36:58,390 Sex is for our movies, not real life. 518 00:36:58,433 --> 00:37:01,349 Hello ?hi, mom. It's me-- fidget. 519 00:37:01,393 --> 00:37:04,831 Oh, god, fidget. Where are you ? Are you okay ? 520 00:37:04,874 --> 00:37:07,399 I'm fine. The movie's going great, mom. 521 00:37:07,442 --> 00:37:10,924 Going great ? Fidget, you're wanted for murder. 522 00:37:10,967 --> 00:37:14,797 Feel the black humor of almodovar ! 523 00:37:14,841 --> 00:37:19,280 The satanic brilliance of Kenneth anger ! 524 00:37:19,324 --> 00:37:24,067 - The racial tension of spike Lee ! - Mm, mm, mm, mm ! 525 00:37:24,111 --> 00:37:27,114 And the unashamed exhibitionism of William castle ! 526 00:37:27,157 --> 00:37:29,943 Hello ? Fidget, talk to me. 527 00:37:29,986 --> 00:37:34,513 Hello ? We will come and get you. Just tell us where you are. 528 00:37:34,556 --> 00:37:37,472 Hello ? Hello ? 529 00:37:37,516 --> 00:37:40,736 Blue balls for celluloid ! 530 00:37:40,780 --> 00:37:43,826 Cecil, if we can't have sex, can we at least make some money ? 531 00:37:43,870 --> 00:37:47,569 Yeah. Lewis thinks I could have a hit record. 532 00:37:47,613 --> 00:37:52,748 No, no, no, sprocket holes ! I'm a prophet against profit ! 533 00:37:52,792 --> 00:37:57,536 And you should refuse to Sully your artistic vision with financial success ! 534 00:37:57,579 --> 00:38:02,323 Sprocket holes, be strong and join me in prayer ! 535 00:38:02,367 --> 00:38:07,067 Oh, yeah.Oh. 536 00:38:07,110 --> 00:38:12,115 Oh, Andy warhol, we worship you from the new cinema underground. 537 00:38:12,159 --> 00:38:16,337 Oh, Andy warhol, we worship you from the new cinema underground. 538 00:38:16,381 --> 00:38:20,341 Fidget, give me that drink. Help us to use our sexual frustration as you did... 539 00:38:20,385 --> 00:38:23,213 Thank youfor the future of outlaw film ! 540 00:38:23,257 --> 00:38:27,522 - Say it, sprocket holes ! - Celibate for celluloid ! 541 00:38:27,566 --> 00:38:31,613 - Say it again, louder ! - Celibate for celluloid ! 542 00:38:31,657 --> 00:38:33,615 Nighty-night. 543 00:39:05,430 --> 00:39:08,302 Hey, kids, wake up ! 544 00:39:08,346 --> 00:39:11,044 Let's make a motherfuckin' movie ! 545 00:39:11,087 --> 00:39:14,526 Hey, go, go ! 546 00:39:23,491 --> 00:39:25,798 I see that fucking brown color already !no, no, Rodney ! 547 00:39:25,841 --> 00:39:29,584 Those are not roots. Those are scabs on my scalp.Get up ! 548 00:39:29,628 --> 00:39:32,413 And they're raw from the dye !just close your eyes... 549 00:39:32,457 --> 00:39:36,069 And think of the films of George cukor. 550 00:39:36,112 --> 00:39:39,028 Raven, you know you're a really pretty girl. 551 00:39:39,072 --> 00:39:41,466 You could escape from all this madness. 552 00:39:41,509 --> 00:39:44,512 Escape to what, honey ? 553 00:39:44,556 --> 00:39:49,082 I mean, my father is zo-zo, the three-headed guard dog at the gates of hell. 554 00:39:49,125 --> 00:39:51,389 Ow. I'm sorry to hear that. 555 00:39:51,432 --> 00:39:54,653 But one day I'm gonna commit revolutionary suicide for celluloid. 556 00:39:54,696 --> 00:39:58,265 No, don't say that ! Rodney, tell her. No movie is worth dying for. 557 00:39:58,308 --> 00:40:01,007 Ow ! Rodney, why do you have to hurt me ? 558 00:40:01,050 --> 00:40:03,401 Gay men are supposed to be gentle. 559 00:40:03,444 --> 00:40:05,751 That's just it, honey. I'm not gay.Ow. 560 00:40:05,794 --> 00:40:08,231 I'm straight, and I fucking hate it ! 561 00:40:08,275 --> 00:40:12,758 Petie loves me, and I can't love him back. I've tried. 562 00:40:12,801 --> 00:40:16,544 I kiss him, and all I feel is whiskers. 563 00:40:16,588 --> 00:40:20,287 I can't take that certain thickness in his pants. 564 00:40:20,330 --> 00:40:23,899 I'm ashamed of my heterosexuality ! 565 00:40:23,943 --> 00:40:26,162 Oh, it's all right, Rodney. 566 00:40:26,206 --> 00:40:29,470 That's why some days I gotta hurt people ! 567 00:40:29,514 --> 00:40:32,081 - No ! No ! - It's not honey's fault. 568 00:40:32,125 --> 00:40:34,214 Make them pay for me liking pussy ! 569 00:40:34,257 --> 00:40:37,609 Nobody chooses to be heterosexual. Honey knows that. 570 00:40:37,652 --> 00:40:40,089 I'm straight, and I hate ! 571 00:40:40,133 --> 00:40:42,701 So get used to it, honey whitlock ! 572 00:40:42,744 --> 00:40:45,007 Ow ! Ow, it's burning me ! 573 00:40:45,051 --> 00:40:50,012 Ow ! Ow ! Ow ! Ow ! Ow ! You're hurting me ! 574 00:40:50,056 --> 00:40:53,059 Good morning, miss whitlock. 575 00:40:53,102 --> 00:40:55,931 Cecil, I want to go back to Hollywood.Whatever for ? 576 00:40:55,975 --> 00:40:58,499 Your old career is over, 577 00:40:58,543 --> 00:41:01,154 but your comeback has just begun. 578 00:41:01,197 --> 00:41:03,504 Roll it. 579 00:41:03,548 --> 00:41:06,551 Well, see, I was in the audience when they attacked. 580 00:41:06,594 --> 00:41:09,684 Oh ! Honey, man, honey whitlock was awesome ! 581 00:41:09,728 --> 00:41:11,686 She was so cool. 582 00:41:11,730 --> 00:41:15,211 I think honey whitlock is right. Most films suck, 583 00:41:15,255 --> 00:41:17,866 and it's time somebody did something about it. 584 00:41:17,910 --> 00:41:21,217 Nobody forced her to be in that movie, but she was damn good. 585 00:41:21,261 --> 00:41:24,090 Scarier than hell, if you ask me. 586 00:41:24,133 --> 00:41:27,746 She looked different from her other films too. I don't know-- younger. 587 00:41:27,789 --> 00:41:30,270 Mmm. 588 00:41:30,313 --> 00:41:33,229 Now, there are still some people who don't understand our work. 589 00:41:33,273 --> 00:41:35,797 This one's live. 590 00:41:35,841 --> 00:41:40,541 Cecil b. Demented, the Maryland film commission refuses to be intimidated... 591 00:41:40,585 --> 00:41:43,588 By your pathetic gang of cinematic misfits. 592 00:41:47,374 --> 00:41:50,116 That's why we're here today in the inner harbor... 593 00:41:50,159 --> 00:41:53,206 To celebrate location shooting in Maryland... 594 00:41:53,249 --> 00:41:56,775 With many of the brave production and studio heads from out of state... 595 00:41:56,818 --> 00:42:00,996 Who also say no to cinema terrorism. 596 00:42:03,346 --> 00:42:05,871 I have a vision. 597 00:42:08,351 --> 00:42:11,572 And this time, somebody might have to die. 598 00:42:11,616 --> 00:42:14,096 Ohhh. 599 00:42:14,140 --> 00:42:16,316 Ohhh. 600 00:42:33,115 --> 00:42:35,814 Ow ! 601 00:42:45,345 --> 00:42:48,566 Okay, in this scene, you guys are the avenging angels of underground cinema. 602 00:42:48,609 --> 00:42:50,959 We'll let those fat cat producers know. 603 00:42:51,003 --> 00:42:54,833 Yeah, that Maryland isn't safe for their kind of movies. 604 00:42:54,876 --> 00:42:57,487 Cherish, this is america. It's a free country. 605 00:42:57,531 --> 00:43:00,795 People can make bad movies if they so desire. 606 00:43:00,839 --> 00:43:05,234 - Not anymore, they don't. - You think 'cause you've made real movies, you're better ? 607 00:43:05,278 --> 00:43:08,716 - Oh, please. - Do you know why I became a porno star ? 608 00:43:11,066 --> 00:43:13,286 Cherish has recovered memory. 609 00:43:13,329 --> 00:43:15,636 Mm-hmm. When I was ten years old, 610 00:43:15,680 --> 00:43:18,857 my entire family fucked me under the Christmas tree. 611 00:43:18,900 --> 00:43:22,164 - I'm so sorry. - Yeah, I bet you are. 612 00:43:22,208 --> 00:43:27,169 "Jingle balls, jingle balls," my stupid brother started singing. 613 00:43:27,213 --> 00:43:29,650 You think that's funny ? 614 00:43:29,694 --> 00:43:32,827 - No, I don't. - That's all behind you now, Cherish. 615 00:43:32,871 --> 00:43:35,874 We're here, and we're making movies. 616 00:43:42,489 --> 00:43:44,186 This way. 617 00:43:46,188 --> 00:43:48,626 "Fuck her," yelled my grandmother. 618 00:43:48,669 --> 00:43:51,150 How would you like that if it happened to you ?i wouldn't. 619 00:43:51,193 --> 00:43:53,369 It's okay, Cherish. This way. 620 00:43:59,898 --> 00:44:02,074 Hey, honey.What ? 621 00:44:02,117 --> 00:44:05,773 Nervous ? Wanna try some special k ?i am working, Lyle ! 622 00:44:05,817 --> 00:44:09,559 "Human pile," screamed my grandfather as they all jumped on. 623 00:44:09,603 --> 00:44:12,345 Do you even know what a human pile is ?i do. 624 00:44:12,388 --> 00:44:14,564 I think I can figure it out. 625 00:44:14,608 --> 00:44:16,305 Come on ! 626 00:44:18,960 --> 00:44:22,703 Ask anyone who has shot their film in Maryland. 627 00:44:22,747 --> 00:44:26,141 We have the exact location that you need for your next production. 628 00:44:26,185 --> 00:44:28,622 From mountains to beaches. 629 00:44:28,666 --> 00:44:31,712 From small towns to urban settings. 630 00:44:31,756 --> 00:44:35,716 My father sat on my face as he opened his Christmas presents. 631 00:44:35,760 --> 00:44:39,981 Oh, really ? Are you sure any of this really happened ? 632 00:44:40,025 --> 00:44:43,898 Yes, it really happened ! "Oh, Santa, why hast thou forsaken me," I screamed. 633 00:44:43,942 --> 00:44:46,988 But she doesn't believe me !i believe you. 634 00:44:47,032 --> 00:44:49,991 Shut up, Cherish ! I told you, that's all over with. 635 00:44:50,035 --> 00:44:53,038 Save your rage and use it in the cinema !yes, Cecil. 636 00:44:56,955 --> 00:45:00,610 Go ! Go ! 637 00:45:00,654 --> 00:45:06,138 The Maryland film commission pledges to work with state and federal agencies... 638 00:45:06,181 --> 00:45:08,488 To make your shoot here in Maryland... 639 00:45:08,531 --> 00:45:10,533 As inexpensive and trouble free as possible. 640 00:45:10,577 --> 00:45:14,537 Hey, hey ! 641 00:45:14,581 --> 00:45:18,846 That's why we call Baltimore the Hollywood of the east. 642 00:45:18,890 --> 00:45:21,762 ♪♪ 643 00:45:30,292 --> 00:45:32,642 - See Pam there ? - Yeah. 644 00:45:32,686 --> 00:45:35,341 That's your Mark. 645 00:45:35,384 --> 00:45:38,213 When you hear "action," I want you to jump off the roof, 646 00:45:38,257 --> 00:45:40,694 landing in front of Pam's camera. 647 00:45:49,572 --> 00:45:53,620 Surely you realize I could be seriously injured. 648 00:45:53,663 --> 00:45:56,971 - Suffer for celluloid ! - There should at least be an airbag... 649 00:45:57,015 --> 00:46:00,192 Or some kind of safety precaution. 650 00:46:00,235 --> 00:46:02,803 Just call me irresponsible. Outlaw cinema has no limits. 651 00:46:04,849 --> 00:46:07,895 Prove yourself, honey, 652 00:46:07,939 --> 00:46:10,506 and maybe you'll live to read your reviews. 653 00:46:10,550 --> 00:46:13,379 All right, Cecil. 654 00:46:13,422 --> 00:46:16,164 I'm a professional. Roll the camera. 655 00:46:16,208 --> 00:46:18,166 Places, you fools ! 656 00:46:21,343 --> 00:46:24,477 Now, don't worry. They're just props. 657 00:46:24,520 --> 00:46:27,828 I want you to throw the grenade after your first line at the film commissioner. 658 00:46:27,872 --> 00:46:30,048 Nobody will get hurt. 659 00:46:32,877 --> 00:46:36,141 There are bullets in here. 660 00:46:36,184 --> 00:46:38,752 They're blanks. Trust me, honey. 661 00:46:40,058 --> 00:46:42,800 Lock it up. 662 00:46:55,377 --> 00:46:59,164 Hmm... whoo ! 663 00:46:59,207 --> 00:47:01,514 Okay.okay. 664 00:47:07,085 --> 00:47:08,956 Speed !camera rolling ! 665 00:47:09,000 --> 00:47:12,438 Mark it ! 666 00:47:12,481 --> 00:47:14,179 Action. 667 00:47:20,794 --> 00:47:24,145 Oh, my god ! 668 00:47:27,496 --> 00:47:31,196 Okay, which one of you assholes insulted our film ? 669 00:47:31,239 --> 00:47:33,459 - Was it you ? - No. Please. 670 00:47:33,502 --> 00:47:35,374 I-I was only following studio orders. 671 00:47:43,208 --> 00:47:46,211 All extras, keep eating the oysters, 672 00:47:46,254 --> 00:47:49,388 or you will be shot and killed ! 673 00:47:49,431 --> 00:47:53,261 Pam, shoot those oysters ! Hey, you ! 674 00:47:53,305 --> 00:47:55,220 Keep eating ! 675 00:47:55,263 --> 00:47:58,136 Keep eating, you fuckers ! 676 00:47:58,179 --> 00:48:01,704 Didn't you produce that bad Hollywood remake of that beautiful foreign film ? 677 00:48:01,748 --> 00:48:04,620 I had to. You know American audiences won't watch subtitles. 678 00:48:08,146 --> 00:48:11,366 Didn't you just green light another movie based on a video game ? 679 00:48:11,410 --> 00:48:14,152 It wasn't my idea ! I'm just the vice president of creative affairs ! 680 00:48:15,675 --> 00:48:19,418 No, please don't shoot me ! I don't even go to the movies ! 681 00:48:23,988 --> 00:48:26,512 Rodney ! 682 00:48:35,347 --> 00:48:38,654 Help ! I'm honey whitlock ! 683 00:48:38,698 --> 00:48:41,396 Nobody said cut ! 684 00:48:43,529 --> 00:48:47,446 Help, Cherish ! I'm stuck in a k-hole, and I can't get out ! 685 00:48:49,143 --> 00:48:52,973 Come on, Lyle. 686 00:48:53,017 --> 00:48:55,976 Oh, shit ! 687 00:48:56,020 --> 00:48:58,283 Finish the fucking scene ! 688 00:48:59,980 --> 00:49:03,070 Bad movies must be avenged ! 689 00:49:09,859 --> 00:49:12,340 That's a cut ! 690 00:49:12,384 --> 00:49:14,081 Cecil ! 691 00:49:17,041 --> 00:49:20,131 Here. 692 00:49:20,174 --> 00:49:22,524 - Where are you going ? - Don't shoot ! 693 00:49:22,568 --> 00:49:25,832 - I'm honey whitlock, and I've been kidnapped. - Come back ! 694 00:49:25,875 --> 00:49:29,879 No ! No ! We'll go to Sundance together, I promise ! 695 00:49:29,923 --> 00:49:34,580 Hey, don't you know who I am ? Excuse me, I will have you fired ! 696 00:49:34,623 --> 00:49:37,583 Don't you know that I'm an academy award nominee ? 697 00:49:37,626 --> 00:49:40,586 Cecil, help me ! 698 00:49:40,629 --> 00:49:42,936 Help ! Ow ! Ow ! Ow ! 699 00:49:48,289 --> 00:49:50,291 Help !let's roll ! 700 00:49:50,335 --> 00:49:52,990 Help, Cecil ! 701 00:49:57,907 --> 00:49:59,909 Attica ! 702 00:49:59,953 --> 00:50:04,088 Rodney king ! David begelman ! 703 00:50:04,871 --> 00:50:07,613 Let me go ! Let me out of here ! 704 00:50:11,225 --> 00:50:12,966 Picture's up ! Roll ! 705 00:50:13,010 --> 00:50:15,969 Speed !hey, it's your close-up ! 706 00:50:18,145 --> 00:50:20,713 - I hate your movies ! - Action ! 707 00:50:20,756 --> 00:50:23,716 Long live guerrilla filmmaking ! 708 00:50:23,759 --> 00:50:25,761 Look out ! Shit ! 709 00:50:25,805 --> 00:50:29,026 Whoa ! Whoa ! Whoa ! 710 00:50:29,069 --> 00:50:31,767 Cut ! Cut ! 711 00:50:47,740 --> 00:50:49,611 I am Cecil b. Demented, the enemy of family films ! 712 00:50:49,655 --> 00:50:51,961 Shit ! 713 00:50:52,005 --> 00:50:55,530 You couldn't direct traffic ! - These cops aren't goin' nowhere. 714 00:50:55,574 --> 00:50:58,751 Go back to film school, stupid !straight to video-- that's what you are ! 715 00:50:58,794 --> 00:51:01,797 I hate films ! 716 00:51:01,841 --> 00:51:05,627 - Pam, film these fuckers ! - Picture's up ! 717 00:51:05,671 --> 00:51:07,934 We don't wanna be in your sick little movie ! 718 00:51:07,977 --> 00:51:10,284 Camera rolling ! Speed ! 719 00:51:10,328 --> 00:51:14,114 Pay us, cheapskate ! I'm not anybody's extra ! 720 00:51:14,158 --> 00:51:16,290 I don't do anything for art !action ! 721 00:51:16,334 --> 00:51:20,468 - I'm sick of violence ! - Oh, I can't stand the f word ! 722 00:51:20,512 --> 00:51:24,864 - Yeah ? Well, your movies bite the big one ! - We want frontal nudity ! 723 00:51:24,907 --> 00:51:27,997 Ow, ow, ow !ow ! Keep the scene going ! 724 00:51:28,041 --> 00:51:31,871 - You stink, honey whitlock ! - You came in fifth in the oscars. 725 00:51:31,914 --> 00:51:34,830 You didn't write me dialogue ?you're one of us now. You know what to say. 726 00:51:34,874 --> 00:51:37,224 I walk out of your films on airplanes ! 727 00:51:37,268 --> 00:51:40,836 Family is just a dirty word for censorship !nice ! 728 00:51:40,880 --> 00:51:43,839 Cut ! Movin' on ! 729 00:51:43,883 --> 00:51:46,494 Come on ! Let's get out of here ! 730 00:51:46,538 --> 00:51:49,062 Fucking families ! Let's go ! 731 00:51:49,106 --> 00:51:51,717 ♪ Whoa-ho 732 00:51:51,760 --> 00:51:55,286 ♪ ya-ha-ho-ho come on ! 733 00:51:55,329 --> 00:52:00,160 ♪ Ya-ha-ho-ho 734 00:52:00,204 --> 00:52:02,597 come on, go ! Come on, come on ! Come on, come on ! 735 00:52:02,641 --> 00:52:05,034 Go, go, go, go ! Move, move ! 736 00:52:20,006 --> 00:52:22,356 Action fans, help us ! 737 00:52:22,400 --> 00:52:25,272 Yeah !come on, come on, come on ! 738 00:52:25,316 --> 00:52:28,449 Yeah, Cecil ! Come on ! 739 00:52:28,493 --> 00:52:31,626 Come on, come on !go, go ! 740 00:52:34,977 --> 00:52:37,893 Families ! Families ! 741 00:52:45,205 --> 00:52:47,164 Give me your autograph. 742 00:52:47,207 --> 00:52:51,080 Honey, honey, honey.All right, all right. Enough, enough. 743 00:52:57,913 --> 00:53:00,220 Cecil b. Demented wants your keys. 744 00:53:00,264 --> 00:53:02,440 Fuck him. He ain't gonna get distribution. 745 00:53:02,483 --> 00:53:05,182 Oh, you wanna bet ? 746 00:53:10,012 --> 00:53:12,798 Yeah, baby, yeah ! Let's go ! 747 00:53:12,841 --> 00:53:14,843 Honey, honey ! 748 00:53:14,887 --> 00:53:17,368 - Thanks, honey. - Honey, honey, I love you ! 749 00:53:22,590 --> 00:53:24,940 Go !let's go ! Let's go ! 750 00:53:28,770 --> 00:53:30,729 Honey, honey ! 751 00:53:30,772 --> 00:53:33,732 Hey, hey, honey, sign my parole card ? 752 00:53:33,775 --> 00:53:37,214 It's okay ! We're criminals too ! 753 00:53:37,257 --> 00:53:39,955 I love you ! We love you ! 754 00:53:39,999 --> 00:53:42,741 You're crazy ! 755 00:53:49,051 --> 00:53:51,663 ♪♪ 756 00:53:51,706 --> 00:53:55,710 The slash and burn of the white hot metal... 757 00:53:55,754 --> 00:53:59,888 Will brand you forever with the logo of Cecil b. Demented. 758 00:53:59,932 --> 00:54:02,717 Wear the privileged scar of cinema sainthood... 759 00:54:02,761 --> 00:54:06,243 With pride and horniness. 760 00:54:21,301 --> 00:54:24,609 ♪ God, our protector 761 00:54:24,652 --> 00:54:26,611 ♪ yeah 762 00:54:26,654 --> 00:54:31,398 ♪ main film director 763 00:54:31,442 --> 00:54:34,706 ♪ give us a cue 764 00:54:36,969 --> 00:54:40,102 ♪ we'll follow you 765 00:54:40,146 --> 00:54:44,672 ♪ demented forever 766 00:54:44,716 --> 00:54:48,110 ♪ demented for life 767 00:54:48,154 --> 00:54:51,331 there is no such thing as family. ♪♪ 768 00:54:51,375 --> 00:54:56,423 We are the orphans of cinema, and without our movie, we do not exist. 769 00:54:56,467 --> 00:54:59,774 We are not human. We are all part of one giant projector. 770 00:54:59,818 --> 00:55:03,474 And our blood is the film that will be shown to the world. 771 00:55:03,517 --> 00:55:05,345 My real life began in the cinema. 772 00:55:07,652 --> 00:55:10,132 And it will end in the cinema ! 773 00:55:10,176 --> 00:55:14,180 ♪ Demented forever 774 00:55:14,223 --> 00:55:18,140 from the valleys of Lebanon-- 775 00:55:18,184 --> 00:55:22,710 to the jungles of Cuba ! 776 00:55:27,802 --> 00:55:30,414 Film revolutionaries can never be stopped. 777 00:55:30,457 --> 00:55:33,634 ♪ Demented forever ♪ demented forever 778 00:55:35,375 --> 00:55:38,291 ♪ demented for life 779 00:55:38,335 --> 00:55:41,512 Rodney died for the roots of cinematic rebellion. 780 00:55:41,555 --> 00:55:43,862 And he's now in cinema hell, 781 00:55:43,905 --> 00:55:47,300 where one day we'll all be reunited. 782 00:55:47,344 --> 00:55:49,389 Pleasure is pain ! 783 00:55:49,433 --> 00:55:51,957 Slavery is freedom ! 784 00:55:52,000 --> 00:55:54,307 Suicide for Satan ! 785 00:55:54,351 --> 00:55:57,354 ♪ Demented forever 786 00:56:01,140 --> 00:56:04,883 but our film could still be a hit even after we're dead, right, Cecil ? 787 00:56:04,926 --> 00:56:09,670 ♪ Demented forever ♪ demented forever 788 00:56:12,107 --> 00:56:14,066 fidget. 789 00:56:26,557 --> 00:56:30,082 Fidget's a good boy, and we love him. 790 00:56:30,125 --> 00:56:32,606 And we will stand behind our son no matter what he's done. 791 00:56:34,347 --> 00:56:36,915 No ! I wanna go home ! 792 00:56:36,958 --> 00:56:39,091 I don't wanna be in show business anymore ! 793 00:56:39,134 --> 00:56:41,528 I knew you were the weak one, fidget. 794 00:56:45,053 --> 00:56:48,927 Just remember, your parents liked Godzilla. 795 00:56:48,970 --> 00:56:51,669 They wouldn't even let you see r-rated films as a child. 796 00:56:51,712 --> 00:56:55,237 They've never even been to a midnight movie. 797 00:56:55,281 --> 00:56:57,762 They enjoy classic TV sitcoms turned into feature-length films. 798 00:56:57,805 --> 00:57:00,765 - They've never rented a porno movie. - And to top it all off, 799 00:57:00,808 --> 00:57:03,332 they talk out loud in the theater once the feature has begun. 800 00:57:03,376 --> 00:57:06,684 - Oh ! - Oh, that really is unforgivable, fidget. 801 00:57:12,516 --> 00:57:15,127 Okay, okay ! My parents are the enemies of film ! 802 00:57:15,170 --> 00:57:17,390 Do it ! 803 00:57:17,434 --> 00:57:20,611 Yeah ! All right ! 804 00:57:20,654 --> 00:57:25,529 - Demented forever ! - ♪ demented forever 805 00:57:25,572 --> 00:57:28,357 and you, honey ? 806 00:57:32,536 --> 00:57:34,538 No, Cecil. 807 00:57:36,365 --> 00:57:38,716 So tell me the truth now. 808 00:57:38,759 --> 00:57:40,457 Did you ever, in all those years, 809 00:57:40,500 --> 00:57:43,285 suspect that your ex-wife... 810 00:57:43,329 --> 00:57:46,506 Had, well, you know, radical tendencies ? 811 00:57:46,550 --> 00:57:49,553 Well, I'll tell you, roseanne. 812 00:57:49,596 --> 00:57:53,382 I was married to honey whitlock for seven years, 813 00:57:53,426 --> 00:57:56,821 and I'm not a bit surprised what a nut she really is. 814 00:57:56,864 --> 00:57:59,258 Oh, thanks a lot. 815 00:57:59,301 --> 00:58:01,782 Satan loves you, honey. 816 00:58:01,826 --> 00:58:04,263 And so do I. 817 00:58:04,306 --> 00:58:07,701 Honey whitlock was always attracted to the wrong kind of man. 818 00:58:07,745 --> 00:58:10,312 I wouldn't be surprised if she was in on her kidnapping from the very beginning. 819 00:58:10,356 --> 00:58:13,228 She'd do anything for sex. 820 00:58:13,272 --> 00:58:16,623 - The Maryland film commission-- - you ain't seen nothing yet. 821 00:58:16,667 --> 00:58:21,280 Cecil b. Demented, you can never stop Hollywood. 822 00:58:21,323 --> 00:58:24,109 The Maryland film commission is pleased to announce... 823 00:58:24,152 --> 00:58:28,679 There will be no delay in tomorrow's once-secret start date... 824 00:58:28,722 --> 00:58:34,641 For the $65 million shot entirely in Baltimore sequel... 825 00:58:34,685 --> 00:58:38,819 To the Oscar-winning masterpiece Forrest Gump, 826 00:58:38,863 --> 00:58:42,606 gump again, starring Kevin nealon. 827 00:58:42,649 --> 00:58:46,479 I think I speak for every member of the academy of the arts and sciences... 828 00:58:46,523 --> 00:58:48,437 When I say, honey whitlock, 829 00:58:48,481 --> 00:58:52,224 you are a disgrace to the entire Hollywood community. 830 00:58:55,575 --> 00:58:57,534 Say it. 831 00:59:05,629 --> 00:59:07,935 Demented forever. 832 00:59:09,502 --> 00:59:11,504 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 833 00:59:11,548 --> 00:59:16,465 Yeah. Oh, yeah. 834 00:59:16,509 --> 00:59:21,645 This time, ihave a fucking vision. 835 00:59:49,586 --> 00:59:51,762 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 836 00:59:56,375 --> 00:59:58,638 Can I help you ? 837 00:59:58,682 --> 01:00:01,510 We got a delivery for Kevin nealon from Paramount studios. 838 01:00:01,554 --> 01:00:03,556 Shh. 839 01:00:04,949 --> 01:00:07,299 Largest box of chocolates we ever made. 840 01:00:07,342 --> 01:00:09,301 Shh, shh. 841 01:00:11,738 --> 01:00:14,219 Well, I'm gonna have to check your truck out. 842 01:00:14,262 --> 01:00:16,264 Sure. 843 01:00:21,922 --> 01:00:24,969 You never know what you're gonna find inside. 844 01:00:25,012 --> 01:00:26,971 Action ! 845 01:00:27,014 --> 01:00:30,714 Get him in ! 846 01:00:33,847 --> 01:00:36,154 All right. Just keep an eye on the shot. 847 01:00:36,197 --> 01:00:38,547 Add his hair dye. That's it. 848 01:00:38,591 --> 01:00:40,854 Looks good. Nice, nice. 849 01:00:40,898 --> 01:00:43,378 Jean-Pierre, you okay ? You need another camera rehearsal ? 850 01:00:43,422 --> 01:00:46,555 No, sir. We're set. 851 01:00:46,599 --> 01:00:50,211 Do you believe how long it took 'em to do that last shot ?it's unbelievable. 852 01:00:50,255 --> 01:00:53,693 The money they're throwing away here is unbelievable. You got a pair of sevens. 853 01:00:53,737 --> 01:00:56,000 That's not bad. Hey, you're cheatin' over there. 854 01:00:56,043 --> 01:00:58,045 What do you got, a Jack, king ? 855 01:00:58,089 --> 01:01:01,701 What's the matter with you ?- hey ! 856 01:01:01,745 --> 01:01:04,225 We're nonunion, and we're taking over this movie ! 857 01:01:04,269 --> 01:01:06,401 Okay. Let's shoot this sucker.You got it. 858 01:01:06,445 --> 01:01:08,752 Okay, people. Clear the set. 859 01:01:08,795 --> 01:01:11,668 And... lock it up ! 860 01:01:12,712 --> 01:01:14,627 We don't have to take-- 861 01:01:18,631 --> 01:01:22,026 son of a bitch ! 862 01:01:22,069 --> 01:01:25,246 Get this motherfucker off of me ! 863 01:01:29,686 --> 01:01:32,210 It's already locked down.Picture's up. 864 01:01:37,955 --> 01:01:42,394 Well, is there a problem ? 865 01:01:42,437 --> 01:01:44,657 Where's the a.D. ? 866 01:01:46,703 --> 01:01:49,531 Janine. Where the fuck is Janine ? 867 01:01:51,185 --> 01:01:53,840 I'm getting older here. 868 01:01:53,884 --> 01:01:56,495 Budget's climbing ! 869 01:01:56,538 --> 01:01:59,193 $1,000 a second. $1,000 a second. 870 01:01:59,237 --> 01:02:01,326 $1,000 a second. 871 01:02:01,369 --> 01:02:04,590 That's what it's costing while we wait, gang ! 872 01:02:06,287 --> 01:02:08,289 I don't know what the problem is. 873 01:02:09,638 --> 01:02:11,858 Jesus, can we shoot ?roll sound. 874 01:02:11,902 --> 01:02:14,121 Sound speed. 875 01:02:16,123 --> 01:02:18,778 Can I have fucking quiet ? 876 01:02:18,822 --> 01:02:21,999 Camera rolling. Finally !mark it. 877 01:02:22,739 --> 01:02:25,785 And... action. 878 01:02:30,834 --> 01:02:34,228 Hello, my name's forrest. Forrest Gump. 879 01:02:34,272 --> 01:02:37,536 That's a damn shame. 880 01:02:37,579 --> 01:02:39,973 You want some of my crab cakes ? 881 01:02:40,017 --> 01:02:43,411 I don't eat scavengers. You know what crabs eat ? 882 01:02:43,455 --> 01:02:45,936 Fish feces. 883 01:02:45,979 --> 01:02:49,069 Well, my momma always said, "gump happens." 884 01:02:49,113 --> 01:02:51,898 Shucks, I guess life is a lot like a crab cake. 885 01:02:51,942 --> 01:02:54,640 There's lots of good stuff in the middle, 886 01:02:54,683 --> 01:02:56,947 but it's surrounded by a bunch of crap. 887 01:02:56,990 --> 01:03:00,385 - Cut ! - What the hell ? 888 01:03:00,428 --> 01:03:03,475 I am Cecil b. Demented, and this picture is terminated ! 889 01:03:03,518 --> 01:03:06,391 Get off my set now ! What do you think you're doing ? 890 01:03:07,871 --> 01:03:11,309 Nobody can stop the popularity of Forrest Gump. 891 01:03:11,352 --> 01:03:16,314 Fuckin' little scabs !we'll get their little 16-millimeter asses. 892 01:03:16,357 --> 01:03:20,144 I got it.Nobody fucks with the brotherhood of teamsters ! 893 01:03:23,712 --> 01:03:27,934 Ow, that hurt ! Are you out of your mind ? Get me out of here ! 894 01:03:27,978 --> 01:03:30,371 Mark it. 895 01:03:30,415 --> 01:03:32,373 That's entertainment. 896 01:03:32,417 --> 01:03:34,854 And... action ! 897 01:03:34,898 --> 01:03:37,683 I fucking hateforrest gump ! 898 01:03:37,726 --> 01:03:39,990 I only take the roles I'm offered, ma'am. 899 01:03:40,033 --> 01:03:42,906 Are you this desperate for publicity, honey whitlock ? 900 01:03:42,949 --> 01:03:45,865 Don't step on my lines, asshole ! 901 01:03:45,909 --> 01:03:47,954 Shh, shh, shh ! Quiet ! 902 01:03:49,695 --> 01:03:52,959 - No more per diems ! - Please, I'm a local hire ! 903 01:03:53,003 --> 01:03:56,833 - No more meal penalties. - Yes, ma'am. We're off the clock. 904 01:03:56,876 --> 01:04:01,750 And no more free food at international film festivals for you either, hack ! 905 01:04:01,794 --> 01:04:03,752 The director's guild of america... 906 01:04:03,796 --> 01:04:06,973 Will bring down its swift sword of justice on you rank amateurs. 907 01:04:09,193 --> 01:04:11,238 Go ! 908 01:04:11,282 --> 01:04:15,155 Drugs ! Give me poppers. 909 01:04:15,199 --> 01:04:17,854 It's okay. We got it on film. Keep going ! 910 01:04:20,465 --> 01:04:23,772 Visions of light ! 911 01:04:23,816 --> 01:04:26,253 Death to all who are cinematically incorrect ! 912 01:04:26,297 --> 01:04:29,604 - That means you fuckers ! - Yeah ! 913 01:04:29,648 --> 01:04:31,606 Cecil ! 914 01:04:34,914 --> 01:04:36,829 Yo, get him ! Get him ! 915 01:04:40,093 --> 01:04:42,748 Shit ! Let's get out of here !call the driver ! 916 01:04:45,359 --> 01:04:47,579 - Cecil, get down ! - Losers, die ! 917 01:04:51,278 --> 01:04:53,759 Cecil ! 918 01:04:56,980 --> 01:05:01,114 Look out ! Get him ! Get him ! 919 01:05:05,510 --> 01:05:09,340 - Honey, get down ! - Cherish, look out ! Get down ! 920 01:05:09,383 --> 01:05:11,342 Get him, get him, baby ! 921 01:05:11,385 --> 01:05:13,648 Good work, Cherish !thank you. 922 01:05:13,692 --> 01:05:17,957 Fix your costume. Come on. Wild sound ! 923 01:05:25,269 --> 01:05:30,230 Help, help ! Shoot ! Shoot ! 924 01:05:30,274 --> 01:05:33,190 Oh, my god ! Oh, no ! 925 01:05:33,233 --> 01:05:38,673 Dinah ! 926 01:05:42,982 --> 01:05:44,941 Oh, god. 927 01:05:47,465 --> 01:05:50,685 Hey, hey, man. What's wrong ? Stapled ? Huh ! 928 01:05:55,908 --> 01:06:00,913 Oh, thank god ! 929 01:06:00,957 --> 01:06:03,350 Oh, god ! 930 01:06:08,921 --> 01:06:12,011 Dear diary, 931 01:06:12,055 --> 01:06:17,799 another day, and it's the same old thing. 932 01:06:17,843 --> 01:06:20,846 Everywhere I go, 933 01:06:20,889 --> 01:06:24,458 everything I do just seems to lead... 934 01:06:24,502 --> 01:06:27,461 To the same dead end-- 935 01:06:27,505 --> 01:06:30,595 my derriere. 936 01:06:32,075 --> 01:06:34,599 Hey, buddy, I'm in a little bit of trouble. 937 01:06:34,642 --> 01:06:38,951 Oh, my god ! It's you ! I was just looking at your ass in this magazine. 938 01:06:38,995 --> 01:06:42,128 Yeah, that's my ass, all right, and it's in trouble. Can me and my friends come inside ? 939 01:06:42,172 --> 01:06:45,305 Oh, sure can. Oh, we sell your ass. Hi. 940 01:06:45,349 --> 01:06:47,699 Hi. 941 01:06:47,742 --> 01:06:50,963 I can't believe it's her ! I beat off to her every night. 942 01:06:51,007 --> 01:06:53,357 Would you sign it... To sniffles ? 943 01:06:53,400 --> 01:06:55,968 - One f or two ? - Two. 944 01:06:56,012 --> 01:06:59,015 Oh.bad night, huh ? 945 01:06:59,058 --> 01:07:02,975 - Right. - Go on in. Pop a load. 946 01:07:03,019 --> 01:07:04,759 Uh, guys. 947 01:07:08,285 --> 01:07:13,377 Why is it that men only want my ass ? 948 01:07:17,337 --> 01:07:20,601 Do you know why, little pellet ? 949 01:07:23,169 --> 01:07:25,911 Good pellet. 950 01:07:25,954 --> 01:07:29,088 Oh, bad pellet. 951 01:07:31,917 --> 01:07:36,574 Oh, pellet, you're a very naughty gerbil. 952 01:07:36,617 --> 01:07:39,751 Yes, you are. 953 01:07:39,794 --> 01:07:43,885 You're gonna be mommy's good pellet, aren't you ? 954 01:07:43,929 --> 01:07:46,105 Whoops ! 955 01:07:46,149 --> 01:07:49,326 Pellet ! 956 01:07:49,369 --> 01:07:52,242 Yeah. Where are you, little gerbil ? 957 01:07:52,285 --> 01:07:53,982 Hey ! 958 01:07:54,026 --> 01:07:57,203 Sorry. Here, pellet. 959 01:07:57,247 --> 01:08:00,163 Mommy's got some cereal for you. 960 01:08:06,169 --> 01:08:09,172 I'll be your cinema slave. 961 01:08:13,828 --> 01:08:15,743 Where are they, you pervert ?who ? 962 01:08:15,787 --> 01:08:17,963 There's no one here but us whackers. 963 01:08:21,314 --> 01:08:24,012 Demented forever. 964 01:08:34,893 --> 01:08:39,289 Hey, pal, that's illegal, huh ? Hey, I paid my admission price. 965 01:08:39,332 --> 01:08:42,030 Pellet ! Oh ! 966 01:08:45,686 --> 01:08:49,168 Not there, pellet ! Rear entry ! 967 01:08:54,652 --> 01:08:56,610 There ! 968 01:08:56,654 --> 01:08:58,960 Porno fans ! 969 01:08:59,004 --> 01:09:03,269 It's me ! Cherish ! And I need your hard-core help ! 970 01:09:03,313 --> 01:09:07,534 - The teamsters are here. - We love you, Cherish ! 971 01:09:07,578 --> 01:09:12,409 Long live Cecil b. Demented, a friend of pornography ! 972 01:09:14,541 --> 01:09:17,588 Hey, keep that thing away from me. 973 01:09:17,631 --> 01:09:20,460 Hey, hey, hey ! Back it up ! 974 01:09:20,504 --> 01:09:23,507 Hey, whoa, whoa ! Hey, hey ! 975 01:09:23,550 --> 01:09:25,465 Get it ! Get it ! Get in there ! Get in there ! 976 01:09:25,509 --> 01:09:28,773 Oh, yes ! Pellet ! Pellet ! 977 01:09:28,816 --> 01:09:31,254 Get it, boy ! Go on, pellet ! 978 01:09:31,297 --> 01:09:34,170 Get it ! Yes ! Do it to me, baby ! 979 01:09:44,528 --> 01:09:47,618 Dear diary, 980 01:09:49,402 --> 01:09:51,578 my husband... 981 01:09:51,622 --> 01:09:53,624 Is trying... 982 01:09:53,667 --> 01:09:56,453 To kill me. 983 01:10:01,980 --> 01:10:04,548 - Three, please. - $15. 984 01:10:10,945 --> 01:10:14,601 Cool as shit. Honey whitlock can open any picture. 985 01:10:14,645 --> 01:10:16,951 Nowshe can. 986 01:10:16,995 --> 01:10:20,607 We should blow up the people's choice awards. That's what we should do. 987 01:10:20,651 --> 01:10:24,002 Hey, calm down.Bomb planet Hollywood. 988 01:10:24,045 --> 01:10:27,092 Would you get a hold of yourself ? 989 01:10:27,135 --> 01:10:29,834 - Two adults. - $10. 990 01:10:33,490 --> 01:10:35,666 Hey, that's pretty good ! 991 01:10:35,709 --> 01:10:38,103 Thanks. What do I get if I win ? 992 01:10:38,146 --> 01:10:41,149 A big ham. What else ? 993 01:10:51,725 --> 01:10:54,119 This is it-- our final location. 994 01:10:54,162 --> 01:10:56,121 Where we're gonna get laid ! 995 01:10:56,164 --> 01:10:58,950 Nobody leaves this drive-in alive until we finish our film. 996 01:10:58,993 --> 01:11:01,692 Totally radical ! 997 01:11:12,833 --> 01:11:16,576 Attention, honey whitlock look-alikes. 998 01:11:16,620 --> 01:11:19,884 Please come to the concession stand at the end of the film... 999 01:11:19,927 --> 01:11:22,713 To show your fellow drive-in fans your costumes... 1000 01:11:22,756 --> 01:11:25,411 And maybe take home a grand prize... 1001 01:11:25,455 --> 01:11:29,676 Of a ten-pound Smithfield ham. 1002 01:11:29,720 --> 01:11:33,114 We also feature sodas, burgers, 1003 01:11:33,158 --> 01:11:35,465 hot dogs, popcorn... 1004 01:11:35,508 --> 01:11:37,902 And the candy of your choice. 1005 01:11:37,945 --> 01:11:40,992 All right here at the bengie's drive-in theater, 1006 01:11:41,035 --> 01:11:43,037 where tonight, 1007 01:11:43,081 --> 01:11:46,824 honey whitlock is on the screen all night long. 1008 01:11:51,481 --> 01:11:53,570 Oh, my god. 1009 01:11:55,789 --> 01:11:58,270 The greatest director of all time ! 1010 01:12:03,536 --> 01:12:06,452 Come on. You didn't know. 1011 01:12:06,496 --> 01:12:08,454 You have cinematic immunity now. 1012 01:12:08,498 --> 01:12:10,543 Yeah, none of your old movies count. 1013 01:12:15,026 --> 01:12:18,551 That's not you on the screen. It's somebody else. Come on. 1014 01:12:22,468 --> 01:12:24,514 Who is it ? 1015 01:12:24,557 --> 01:12:27,647 Cecil b. Demented. 1016 01:12:27,691 --> 01:12:31,608 Oh, right. That's really funny, asshole. 1017 01:12:44,055 --> 01:12:46,666 Kill the bitch !she never could act ! 1018 01:12:46,710 --> 01:12:48,668 Her career is over !hey ! 1019 01:12:48,712 --> 01:12:52,280 No. Hey, bad reviews can't hurt me now. 1020 01:12:52,324 --> 01:12:54,370 Yeah. We're beyond the critics' reach. 1021 01:12:54,413 --> 01:12:56,850 Who cares what anybody thinks about our movie ? 1022 01:12:56,894 --> 01:12:59,462 Except Satan. Shut up, bitch ! 1023 01:13:03,988 --> 01:13:05,816 Hey, what's going on ? 1024 01:13:05,859 --> 01:13:08,558 Hello. 1025 01:13:08,601 --> 01:13:10,821 This is Cecil b. Demented, 1026 01:13:10,864 --> 01:13:14,955 speaking to you directly from this theater. 1027 01:13:14,999 --> 01:13:19,133 I want you all to be in my new movie. 1028 01:13:19,177 --> 01:13:21,919 It is calledraving beauty. 1029 01:13:21,962 --> 01:13:26,097 We are shooting the final scene here tonight. 1030 01:13:26,140 --> 01:13:29,230 I wish Cecil would kill some more assholes. 1031 01:13:29,274 --> 01:13:32,756 Yeah, like those phony critics who give all good reviews in the movie ads. 1032 01:13:32,799 --> 01:13:35,193 Or those last-minute fuck-head ticket buyers... 1033 01:13:35,236 --> 01:13:37,674 Who enter the theater after the feature's begun. 1034 01:13:37,717 --> 01:13:40,285 Join the revolution against Hollywood movies. 1035 01:13:40,328 --> 01:13:43,636 Bring cinema wars home to theaters in your neighborhood... 1036 01:13:43,680 --> 01:13:47,335 And punish those who stand in the way ofyour kind of entertainment. 1037 01:13:47,379 --> 01:13:49,599 Cinema hoodlums, 1038 01:13:49,642 --> 01:13:51,731 you can destroy commercial cinema as we know it. 1039 01:13:51,775 --> 01:13:54,473 Burn down the multiplexes. 1040 01:13:54,517 --> 01:13:57,433 Stop the mass-distribution of mediocre movies ! 1041 01:13:57,476 --> 01:13:59,913 This is a warning to all cinemagoers. 1042 01:13:59,957 --> 01:14:03,526 Mainstream movie fans, we will Bury you. 1043 01:14:03,569 --> 01:14:07,573 Cecil b. Demented, you are surrounded. 1044 01:14:07,617 --> 01:14:10,707 Give yourself up and you and your cast and crew will not be injured. 1045 01:14:10,750 --> 01:14:14,711 Pay no attention to the studio executives in the police vehicle. 1046 01:14:14,754 --> 01:14:16,713 Yeah, yeah. Tell them. 1047 01:14:16,756 --> 01:14:20,325 - I have final cut ! - We are not studio executives. 1048 01:14:20,368 --> 01:14:22,327 We are the Baltimore city police department. 1049 01:14:24,068 --> 01:14:26,505 Fidget, we know you're here. 1050 01:14:26,549 --> 01:14:29,377 We heard it on the news. Come home, son. 1051 01:14:29,421 --> 01:14:32,816 Fans of outlaw cinema, 1052 01:14:32,859 --> 01:14:35,775 they want to use you for market testing. 1053 01:14:35,819 --> 01:14:40,171 - Yeah ! - They want to detain you and put you in focus groups. 1054 01:14:40,214 --> 01:14:42,347 Uh-huh ! That's right ! That's right ! 1055 01:14:42,390 --> 01:14:44,523 But I won't let them, 1056 01:14:44,567 --> 01:14:47,526 because I don't believe in phony life-affirming endings ! 1057 01:14:47,570 --> 01:14:50,007 I would rather die than change my movie ! 1058 01:14:50,050 --> 01:14:53,401 Waco ! Waco ! 1059 01:14:53,445 --> 01:14:55,752 That's it. 1060 01:14:58,581 --> 01:15:01,279 Fidget, it's your dad. 1061 01:15:01,322 --> 01:15:03,281 We're here with a psychiatrist. 1062 01:15:03,324 --> 01:15:06,197 He specializes in children like you. 1063 01:15:06,240 --> 01:15:09,374 Everything's gonna be okay, son. 1064 01:15:09,417 --> 01:15:11,594 Fidget, it's mommy. 1065 01:15:11,637 --> 01:15:14,466 We know you've seen too many r-rated movies, 1066 01:15:14,510 --> 01:15:16,468 and we're here to help. 1067 01:15:16,512 --> 01:15:18,557 Cecil b. Demented, your parents are here. 1068 01:15:18,601 --> 01:15:20,559 And they would like to speak to you. 1069 01:15:20,603 --> 01:15:23,344 Sinclair, it's your father. 1070 01:15:23,388 --> 01:15:26,826 God ! 1071 01:15:26,870 --> 01:15:30,308 Thomas alva Edison is the only father I've ever had ! 1072 01:15:30,351 --> 01:15:33,354 I know you're sick in the head, but whatever made you think you could direct ? 1073 01:15:35,443 --> 01:15:37,141 You can direct, Cecil. Don't listen to that Christian ! 1074 01:15:38,577 --> 01:15:42,755 - Sinclair, it's mom. - Oh ! 1075 01:15:42,799 --> 01:15:46,585 Repeat after me. It's only a movie. 1076 01:15:46,629 --> 01:15:49,022 It's only a movie. 1077 01:15:49,066 --> 01:15:52,504 It's only a movie.Picture's up ! 1078 01:15:52,548 --> 01:15:54,593 All right ! 1079 01:15:54,637 --> 01:15:57,378 Cecil. 1080 01:15:57,422 --> 01:15:59,729 - Are you okay ? - Oh, shit. 1081 01:15:59,772 --> 01:16:01,774 Come on, Cecil. We got to finish the movie. 1082 01:16:01,818 --> 01:16:03,733 Come on. Get up. Come on. 1083 01:16:03,776 --> 01:16:06,039 Come on. Get up, Cecil. 1084 01:16:06,083 --> 01:16:08,085 Honey whitlock is here tonight, 1085 01:16:08,128 --> 01:16:10,740 live and in person. 1086 01:16:10,783 --> 01:16:13,177 And she's dyin' to meet ya. 1087 01:16:13,220 --> 01:16:15,919 Come on ! Move out ! Go ! Go ! Let's go ! 1088 01:16:22,316 --> 01:16:25,493 Yeah ! 1089 01:16:41,466 --> 01:16:43,686 You can make it. 1090 01:16:43,729 --> 01:16:45,818 Just one more camera setup, then we can have sex. 1091 01:16:47,515 --> 01:16:51,215 Honey, honey, honey. 1092 01:16:51,258 --> 01:16:54,784 I've had a final vision. 1093 01:16:54,827 --> 01:16:57,700 Would you set your hair on fire for our movie ? 1094 01:17:00,180 --> 01:17:03,140 My real hair ? 1095 01:17:05,577 --> 01:17:10,538 Prove yourself one more time, for your cast. 1096 01:17:12,976 --> 01:17:17,154 Your crew. They've given up their lives for this film, 1097 01:17:17,197 --> 01:17:19,286 and they carry the eternal flame of cinema insanity. 1098 01:17:19,330 --> 01:17:21,071 Do it. 1099 01:17:21,114 --> 01:17:24,857 Your fans-- they love the new honey. 1100 01:17:24,901 --> 01:17:28,208 They love her so much. 1101 01:17:28,252 --> 01:17:31,821 And for me-- Cecil b. Demented. 1102 01:17:55,932 --> 01:17:59,936 I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. Demented. 1103 01:17:59,979 --> 01:18:02,025 Cecil b. Demented, you have 60 seconds. 1104 01:18:02,068 --> 01:18:04,114 Picture's up ! 1105 01:18:04,157 --> 01:18:07,944 Abandon your film or we will shoot to kill ! 1106 01:18:07,987 --> 01:18:10,642 Camera rolling ! Speed ! 1107 01:18:10,686 --> 01:18:13,514 And... action ! 1108 01:18:16,343 --> 01:18:19,999 Cellulunatics and cinema survivalists ! 1109 01:18:24,656 --> 01:18:26,789 Make good movies or die ! 1110 01:18:29,443 --> 01:18:31,402 Wow ! 1111 01:18:38,148 --> 01:18:40,454 Cut, cut, cut ! 1112 01:18:44,110 --> 01:18:47,635 That, fellow sprocket holes, is a wrap ! 1113 01:18:50,377 --> 01:18:52,336 Principal photography has been completed ! 1114 01:18:52,379 --> 01:18:55,948 - You mean we can fuck ? - From here to timbuktu ! 1115 01:18:56,949 --> 01:18:59,560 Oh, yes ! 1116 01:19:08,656 --> 01:19:10,833 Honey ! 1117 01:19:14,184 --> 01:19:17,622 Raven, I love you ! I love all satanists ! Pick me ! 1118 01:19:17,665 --> 01:19:21,147 Honey ! Oh ! Ah ! 1119 01:19:36,032 --> 01:19:39,209 You picked me.Yeah. 1120 01:19:40,210 --> 01:19:42,168 Get up here ! 1121 01:19:57,531 --> 01:19:59,446 Okay. 1122 01:20:05,409 --> 01:20:07,933 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. 1123 01:20:14,331 --> 01:20:16,159 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1124 01:20:22,818 --> 01:20:26,734 Hi, mom ! 1125 01:20:38,398 --> 01:20:40,313 Oh, my god ! 1126 01:20:40,357 --> 01:20:44,404 Oh, shit ! Come on ! 1127 01:20:56,808 --> 01:20:59,419 Get the film !i got it ! 1128 01:21:02,292 --> 01:21:06,209 Cecil ! Cecil ! 1129 01:21:06,252 --> 01:21:08,254 - Honey ! - What ? 1130 01:21:09,995 --> 01:21:13,303 I seen what you did, you Hollywood bitch ! 1131 01:21:13,346 --> 01:21:17,394 Maybe you can get away with this shit in California, but we're in Maryland now. 1132 01:21:17,437 --> 01:21:20,223 You're under arrest, honey whitlock. 1133 01:21:20,266 --> 01:21:22,703 Cecil ! 1134 01:21:25,663 --> 01:21:28,187 I have... 1135 01:21:28,231 --> 01:21:32,539 A vision ! 1136 01:21:40,025 --> 01:21:44,508 Oh, god !well, that's what you get. 1137 01:21:44,551 --> 01:21:46,727 Fidget, we're leaving. 1138 01:21:46,771 --> 01:21:49,339 How much is a mother supposed to take ? 1139 01:21:49,382 --> 01:21:52,995 Fucker ! Son of a bitch ! 1140 01:21:53,038 --> 01:21:55,432 Good-bye, petie ! 1141 01:21:55,475 --> 01:21:58,478 I'll visit you in prison, man ! 1142 01:21:58,522 --> 01:22:01,481 We got the footage, baby ! Anybody got a cell phone ? 1143 01:22:01,525 --> 01:22:03,440 Call 20/20.Get me an agent ! Go, go ! 1144 01:22:03,483 --> 01:22:06,312 Honey ! Honey !thank you, thank you ! 1145 01:22:06,356 --> 01:22:09,315 Miss whitlock, you're under arrest ! Hands in the air. Show's over. 1146 01:22:09,359 --> 01:22:11,013 Honey, it's okay. We finished the film ! 1147 01:22:15,234 --> 01:22:17,236 Hail Satan ! 1148 01:22:28,160 --> 01:22:31,294 Ow ! 1149 01:22:32,338 --> 01:22:35,472 Oh, hi, mom. 1150 01:22:35,515 --> 01:22:37,474 Hey, dad. 1151 01:22:38,823 --> 01:22:43,523 Honey ! 1152 01:22:43,567 --> 01:22:46,874 ♪ Never say good-bye say ciao ♪ 1153 01:22:49,138 --> 01:22:51,314 ♪ till we meet again 1154 01:22:51,357 --> 01:22:55,361 ♪ say ciao 1155 01:22:55,405 --> 01:22:58,451 ♪ time will disappear 1156 01:22:58,495 --> 01:23:00,758 ♪ so hold me near 1157 01:23:00,801 --> 01:23:03,848 ♪ and never say good-bye 1158 01:23:03,891 --> 01:23:05,632 ♪ say ciao 1159 01:23:10,072 --> 01:23:13,118 ♪ please don't shed a tear 1160 01:23:13,162 --> 01:23:15,164 ♪ say ciao 1161 01:23:16,904 --> 01:23:20,908 ♪ you'll be always near somehow ♪ 1162 01:23:23,433 --> 01:23:26,436 ♪ time will disappear 1163 01:23:26,479 --> 01:23:29,221 ♪ so smile, my dear 1164 01:23:29,265 --> 01:23:34,009 ♪ and never say good-bye say ciao ♪ 1165 01:23:38,665 --> 01:23:41,451 ♪ no, never say good-bye 1166 01:23:41,494 --> 01:23:46,151 ♪ say ciao ♪ 1167 01:23:46,195 --> 01:23:48,371 Chow. 1168 01:23:48,414 --> 01:23:50,677 ♪♪ 1169 01:23:50,721 --> 01:23:55,639 ♪ chow 1170 01:23:55,682 --> 01:23:57,945 ♪♪ 1171 01:23:57,989 --> 01:23:59,643 ♪ chow, chow, chow, chow, chow chow, chow, chow, chow ♪ 1172 01:23:59,686 --> 01:24:02,820 ♪ chow, chow, chow 1173 01:24:02,863 --> 01:24:04,604 ♪♪ 1174 01:24:07,781 --> 01:24:10,523 ♪♪ ♪ chow, chow, chow, chow, chow 1175 01:25:18,417 --> 01:25:20,419 ♪♪ 1176 01:25:22,421 --> 01:25:24,510 ♪ we ain't got no budget ♪ no budget 1177 01:25:24,554 --> 01:25:27,034 ♪ no craft service, man ♪ no budget 1178 01:25:27,078 --> 01:25:29,080 ♪ we don't take no notes ♪ no budget 1179 01:25:29,124 --> 01:25:31,387 ♪ no fuckin' call sheets, yo ♪ no budget 1180 01:25:31,430 --> 01:25:33,606 ♪ we ain't recoupin' shit ♪ no budget 1181 01:25:33,650 --> 01:25:36,043 ♪ yeah, we got a start date for real ♪ ♪ no budget 1182 01:25:36,087 --> 01:25:38,394 ♪ yo, this picture's a go ♪ no budget 1183 01:25:38,437 --> 01:25:40,700 ♪ and we gonna turn Hollywood out ♪ ♪ no budget 1184 01:25:40,744 --> 01:25:42,876 ♪ how the fuck you think you're just gonna charge me rent ♪ 1185 01:25:42,920 --> 01:25:45,009 ♪ don't need the help of so-called critics ♪ 1186 01:25:45,052 --> 01:25:47,316 ♪ outlaw cinema with the hottest gunslingers ♪ 1187 01:25:47,359 --> 01:25:50,667 ♪ when we say action cameras roll, before your deal is fuckin' asshole clean ♪ 1188 01:25:50,710 --> 01:25:53,365 ♪ if I direct, ain't gonna be no motherfuckin' scenes ♪ 1189 01:25:53,409 --> 01:25:56,281 ♪ we'll do the edits take the credits ♪ 1190 01:25:56,325 --> 01:25:59,110 ♪ it's our way or nobody's fuck keeping it clean, ha ♪ 1191 01:25:59,154 --> 01:26:01,112 ♪ we ain't got no budget ♪ no budget 1192 01:26:01,156 --> 01:26:03,593 ♪ no craft service, man ♪ no budget 1193 01:26:03,636 --> 01:26:05,638 ♪ we don't take no notes ♪ no budget 1194 01:26:05,682 --> 01:26:07,640 ♪ no fuckin' call sheets, yo ♪ no budget 1195 01:26:07,684 --> 01:26:09,642 ♪ we ain't recoupin' shit ♪ no budget 1196 01:26:09,686 --> 01:26:11,644 ♪ yeah, we got a start date for real ♪ ♪ no budget 1197 01:26:11,688 --> 01:26:14,995 ♪ yo, this picture's a go ♪ no budget 1198 01:26:15,039 --> 01:26:17,128 ♪ and we gonna turn Hollywood out ♪ ♪ no budget 1199 01:26:17,172 --> 01:26:19,783 ♪ no focus through my camera lens ♪ 1200 01:26:19,826 --> 01:26:21,959 ♪ picture perfect you think it's perfect ♪ 1201 01:26:22,002 --> 01:26:24,222 ♪ I'll second that fuckin' emotion ♪ 1202 01:26:24,266 --> 01:26:27,138 ♪ I'm with the team what you think ♪ 1203 01:26:27,182 --> 01:26:29,140 ♪ shit, motherfucker with the fuckers you need ♪ 1204 01:26:29,184 --> 01:26:31,055 ♪ no budget bitches, drop your motherfuckin' knees ♪ 1205 01:26:31,098 --> 01:26:33,405 ♪ I'm sick of spitting on these so-called deeds ♪ 1206 01:26:33,449 --> 01:26:35,668 ♪ then they walkin' up to Cecil petty bitches, bite me ♪ 1207 01:26:35,712 --> 01:26:38,018 ♪ we ain't got no budget ♪ no budget 1208 01:26:38,062 --> 01:26:40,020 ♪ ain't nobody puttin' us in turnaround ♪ 1209 01:26:40,064 --> 01:26:42,458 ♪ we don't take no notes ♪ no budget 1210 01:26:42,501 --> 01:26:44,547 ♪ we'll do the edits take the credits ♪ 1211 01:26:44,590 --> 01:26:46,984 ♪ we ain't recoupin' shit ♪ no budget 1212 01:26:47,027 --> 01:26:49,029 ♪ you got that, motherfucker 1213 01:26:49,073 --> 01:26:51,293 ♪ yo, this picture's a go ♪ no budget 1214 01:26:53,817 --> 01:26:55,601 ♪ we ain't got no budget ♪ no budget 1215 01:26:55,645 --> 01:26:58,387 ♪ no budget 1216 01:26:58,430 --> 01:27:01,085 ♪ we don't take no notes ♪ no budget 1217 01:27:01,128 --> 01:27:03,087 ♪ fuck keeping it clean ♪ no budget 1218 01:27:03,130 --> 01:27:05,481 ♪ we ain't recoupin' shit ♪ no budget 1219 01:27:05,524 --> 01:27:07,483 ♪ petty bitches, bite me ♪ no budget 1220 01:27:07,526 --> 01:27:09,528 ♪ yo, this picture's a go ♪ no budget 1221 01:27:09,572 --> 01:27:12,227 ♪ when we say action cameras roll ♪ ♪ no budget 1222 01:27:12,270 --> 01:27:14,229 ♪ we ain't got no budget ♪ no budget 1223 01:27:14,272 --> 01:27:16,840 ♪ ain't nobody puttin' us in turnaround ♪ 1224 01:27:16,883 --> 01:27:18,842 ♪ we don't take no notes ♪ no budget 1225 01:27:18,885 --> 01:27:21,148 ♪ we'll do the edits take the credits ♪ 1226 01:27:21,192 --> 01:27:23,629 ♪ we ain't recoupin' shit ♪ no budget 1227 01:27:23,673 --> 01:27:25,718 ♪ you got that, motherfucker 1228 01:27:25,762 --> 01:27:27,677 ♪ yo, this picture's a go ♪ no budget 1229 01:27:30,462 --> 01:27:32,551 ♪ we ain't got no budget 1230 01:27:32,595 --> 01:27:34,814 ♪ no craft service, man 1231 01:27:34,858 --> 01:27:37,034 ♪ we don't take no notes 1232 01:27:37,077 --> 01:27:39,297 ♪ no fuckin' call sheets, yo ♪ 1233 01:27:39,341 --> 01:27:43,432 Closed-captioned by captions, inc. Los Angeles 94589

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