All language subtitles for Boston.Legal.S02E25.2005.Disney+.WEB-DL.1080p.H264.DDP-HDCTV_track6_[eng]

ALAN: Previously on Boston Legal…

You gave me the Crane legacy.

And I fully plan on living up to it.

He's not my son.

-Obviously he doesn't know.
-You're not my father?

I'm not terribly comfortable with you
working closely with this woman.

You and I are in a relationship, Alan.

The fact that you don't realize it
doesn't give you license to be unfaithful.

You're mad as a hatter.

Donny Crane. You remember me.

We used to be father and son.

I may not have been around much,

but I was always there when you needed me.

Still am.

("Battle Hymn of the Republic" playing)

ALL: I pledge allegiance to the flag

of the United States of America

and to the Republic for which it stands,

one nation, under God, indivisible,

with liberty and justice for all.

(indistinct chatter)

Well, Denny, that was refreshing
and patriotic.

What gives?

I, Denny Crane,

am going to court to represent
the United States of America.

And what has our country done
to deserve you?

US Attorney and the DOJ
had to recuse themselves,

so Alberto appointed me
to carry the ball for Team USA.

The greatest lawyer in the world

representing the greatest country
in the world,

a match made in heaven.

-Did you know about this?
-I did not.

Where's a sitter when you need one?

(slow stinger playing)

And we're back in court
on the Arrow Lake Water case.

Opposing counsel is relentless.
Yet another evidentiary hearing.

Denise, per your status report,

you had your mandatory
settlement conference

with datemistake.com last week.

PAUL: Datemistake.com?

It's an internet site where women
can vent their ill feelings

about the men they've dated
as a warning to other women.

Our client Derek Roth
has been defamed by them.

DENISE: Oh, I'm sorry.

I, um, you were just a little in my space.

Yes, Shirley, we did reach a settlement.

PAUL: As for Denny, the judge denied
the government's motion to dismiss.

So the spectacle of Denny Crane

representing the United States will
continue to play out in federal court,

God save us all.

-What judge did Denny get?
-Judge Kimberly Ohlund.

I used to clerk for her.

MARLENE: Her current clerk Dan Jinks
and I play squash.

I'm emailing Dan now.

He'll give me everything
from the judge's political leanings

to her basal temperature after breakfast.

Thank you, Marlene.

Sorry, I'm late. But as usual,
I'm really only here for the fruit.

ALAN (sniffs): Hmm.

Something new.

SHIRLEY: Alan, Marlene Stanger.
Marlene, Alan Shore.

A pleasure, Ms. Stanger.

(deadpanly) Mr. Shore.

(soft exciting music playing)

Marlene comes to us from Howard and Brock.

Your name came up frequently
at my old firm.

I hope amid a torrent of obscenities.

-Always.
-Good.

(soft exciting music continues playing)

I look forward to working with you,
Ms. Stanger.

It's not often you meet someone with such…

ocular precision.

(comical percussive music playing)

(theme music playing)

(lively stinger playing)

Why won't you try this case with me?

Personal reasons.

It's because you're red.

That's the old red, not the new red,

which is the opposite of blue.
That's good.

It's the old red. That's bad and pink.

Regardless of my pigmentation,

I promised I'd sit with you.

That's the best I can do.

Denny Crane doesn't need any sitters.

DENNY:
What are these personal reasons anyway?

It's the global gag rule.

Nonsense. Gags are dangerous,

locally or globally.

You don't even know
what the global gag rule is, do you?

I can tell you.

The global gag rule forces other countries
where abortion is perfectly legal

to stop performing them
or even uttering the word "abortion,"

otherwise, the United States
cuts off their funding.

-Donny.
-Denny.

-Alan.
-Donny.

(courtroom door opens)

-What are you doing here?
-I'm with Lawyers Without Borders.

They heard you were brought in

after the judge denied
the government's motion to dismiss.

Liberal pinko.

Please rise.

The Honorable Kimberly Ohlund presiding.

Denny Crane for the United States
of America, Your Honor.

Donny Crane for the plaintiff
Kavita Pokharel.

JUDGE KIMBERLY:
I take it you two know each other.

He's not my father.

He's like a son.

(exhales deeply)

This will be a delight.

(comical stinger playing)

(upbeat stinger playing)

I can't believe The Squid
is working here now.

The Squid?

(quirky music playing)

In old mythology, they say The Squid
is the only animal that can kill a shark.

MELISSA: I used to work with her
at Howard and Brock.

And like the mysterious giant squid,

the only evidence of her existence
were the whopping sucker marks

left on her victims.

(quirky music continues playing)

I take it you didn't get along.

You don't get along with The Squid.

She used to tap into the computer network,
steal everyone's research memos

and then claim them as her own.

-Why the hell did we hire her?
-(scoffs) Beats me.

(sighs)
I only hope she doesn't get my Alan.

(Kavita speaking Nepali)

INTERPRETER:
I was pregnant with my second child.

(speaking Nepali)

When I went into labor, my husband
took me to the district clinic in Khotang.

This is in Nepal.

DENNY: Objection.

The witness isn't speaking English.

We're aware of that, Mr. Crane.
She's being translated.

-Is that legal?
-Shocking, isn't it?

DENNY: Mm.

Continue.

(interpreter speaking Nepali)

(speaking Nepali)

It was the same clinic
where I had my first child,

only this time, the doctor was gone.

(Kavita speaking Nepali)

The medical assistant said
I had an obstetric fistula,

and I needed a Cesarean section.

(Kavita speaking Nepali)

But because they had no equipment

or medicine or a physician,

they said there was nothing they could do.

(Kavita speaking Nepali)

(speaking Nepali, sobbing)

INTERPRETER: I began to hemorrhage.

I almost bled to death
and my baby boy died.

(Kavita sobbing, speaking Nepali)

I'm not the only one. Thousands are dying.

Why weren't there any supplies?

(speaking Nepali)

(speaking Nepali)

They told me the United States
had taken away all the clinic's funding.

(Kavita speaking Nepali)

…Edward Broden.

And the man responsible for making
that decision was Mr. Edward Broden.

That man?

(speaking Nepali)

(whispers in Nepali)

Yes.

DR. PATEL: I was a physician in Khotang

from 2001 until last October.

Our clinic had been funded primarily
by the United States.

Notice he didn't say thank you.

He's got a lot on his mind, Denny.

And, Dr. Patel,
did your clinic perform abortions?

No. Even though it is legal in Nepal,

our clinic made the decision not to
in order to receive US funding.

However, we hung up a poster that said,

"We believe that a woman has a right
to control her own body."

The poster was meant
to promote women's rights

and to prevent rape
as well as spousal abuse.

But the USAID representative

Mr. Broden felt the poster
was pro-abortion.

And that was that.

We lost all of our funding.

You're looking thin. You should eat more.

Some of us don't have fancy expense
accounts to pay for our meals, hmm?

You should get one. They're awesome.

JUDGE KIMBERLY: Mr. Crane.

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

-Doctor, um…
-Patel.

I have in my hand here…

a copy of the rules that clinics
must follow in order to get USAID.

-You… you've seen this manual?
-Yes, I have.

But the rules in it are so vague.

They're left to the interpretation
of the USAID representative.

And that representative is hired
by an appointee

of the president of the United States,

-is that correct?
-DR. PATEL: Yes.

So Doctor, in your expert opinion
as a physician,

who the hell are you to question
the President of the United States?

-Objection. Badgering.
-Sustained.

You know the president
is against abortion.

So in following the rules,
it would seem that you would err

on the side of caution but you didn't.

You put up an inflammatory poster.

We didn't feel it was inflammatory
to protect the rights of women.

Well, it got me mad.

You have other clinics
that get our money, right?

-DR. PATEL: Yes.
-Ones who are able to follow the rules?

The point is, Mr. Crane,

while you allow abortion in your country,

you are trying to deny it
to the rest of the world.

The people of this country
never decided on abortion.

The elected officials never voted on it.

It was nine Justices of the Supreme Court.
And people are still angry about it.

Objection, he's not asking a question.

-DONNY: He's debating.
-What are you talking about?

-The reason why the Supreme Court exists…
-DENNY: I'm not… Yeah.

…is to protect people
from their own mob mentality,

-which this issue triggers.
-I-I disagree. Objection. I disagree.

-Fine. Objection right back at you…
-I-I object to your objections…

Both objections are sustained. Move on.

DENNY: So…

Doctor, um…

Patel.

If you want American money,
don't kill babies.

(somber music playing)

She wasn't trying to.

This is so disrespectful.

You don't come home to papa
by suing his government.

(groans) You're not my papa.
Your sperm never touched my egg,

and someone has to sue the government.

Look, our policy denies thousands
of people lifesaving medical care

based on the personal religious views
of our leader.

(Donny scoffs)

Nothing says democracy like imperialism.

Why can't you come to town for once
and we just toss the pigskin around?

That's American.

Dinner?

Eight o'clock.

-Denny Crane.
-Donny Crane.

Donny Crane.

(camera clicking)

(slow stinger playing)

We had this settled.

Upon further review of the agreement,
Mr. Roth didn't approve.

I don't know what game
you're playing here,

but you're not getting
another dime from us.

MARLENE:
Please don't address my client directly.

Talk to me.

ATTY. JOHN: Your client should know

that our original offer
was more than generous.

That's not the way I see it.

Thirteen months ago, Derek went out
on a few dates with one Monique Foster,

otherwise known at your website,
datemistake.com, as anonymous.

Things didn't work out
and he broke up with her.

A few months later, he met someone else,
fell in love and got engaged.

Things looked rosy.

Yeah, until anonymous found
datemistake.com

and started posting
all these lies about me.

His fiancée found him prominently
displayed on the site

and broke up with Derek two days later.

We all know what happened, Ms. Stanger.
We reached the original settlement.

What we didn't know
was the rest of the story.

Now anytime someone tries to google

my name or my company,
"Roth's Plumbing Supply,"

instead of finding my website,

yours is the first site that comes up.

My sales have dropped 40%
since this posting.

You could've posted a rebuttal,
responded to anonymous' opinions of you.

But why should I have to?

MARLENE: You destroy
my client's reputation, his business,

you humiliate him in public, then force
him to fix the damages that you've caused.

That's like a glass company throwing rocks
through your window then saying,

"Hey, need to buy a new window?"

Hey.

DENISE: Nancy.

Derek.

-Denise, right. You know everyone?
-I do.

-May I see you?
-Of course.

What the hell are you doing
with my client?

Well, Denise, I was looking over
some of your settlement agreements,

just to see how things worked around here.

Some firms are quite formal and sticklers
for grammar and language.

I see around here anything goes,
which is fine, I just needed to know.

What are you doing with my client?

I looked at the settlement figure you had.
I thought we could do better.

I saw Denny was the assigned partner
in the case…

You… you went to Denny behind my back
to steal my case?

Oh, no, no. God, no.

I just told him my thoughts.

He was very encouraging
and told me to go for it.

So I held the documents
from being published, made a few calls,

and well, here we are.

Our client is really, really happy.

And I think we can ring these people up
for some big bucks.

There's only one problem with that,
Marlene.

Derek in there doesn't have a case.

The $10,000 settlement I got him

was a gift from datemistake.com
to make him go away.

I think we could get more.
And if you agree with me,

I would love to share this case with you.

We're leaving,

as is our original offer.

(sneaky percussive music playing)

They'll be back.

(sneaky music builds up)

(sneaky music builds up)

(sneaky music climaxes, halts)

(quirky stinger playing)

DENISE: She just went to Denny
and stole my case.

-She just stole it.
-Okay.

Did you know that at her old firm
they called her "The Squid"?

The Squid?

(laughs)

The only thing that can kill a shark?
(laughs)

But what really gets me about these people

is how they're so obvious
and manipulative.

And you're trying to manipulate
our friendship

to get me to do something about this.

-Yes.
-Mm-hmm.

After she stole my case,

she had the nerve to tell me
we could "share" it.

Marlene is a first-rate lawyer.
She brings in a lot of money.

She almost made partner
at Howard and Brock.

We recruited her with the understanding

that if she does as well here
as she did there,

she would make partner in the next vote.

-And you're okay with that?
-I am. Yeah.

Look, Denise,
you have a very bright future here

but let me put this as gently as I can.

Toughen up.

("Don't Cry Baby"
by Madeleine Peyroux playing)

(crowd chattering)

DENNY: Are you seeing anyone?

Not really. You?

I got married.

-(scoffs) Married?
-DENNY: For a day.

We tried to contact you for the wedding,
but you were nowhere to be found.

Um…

question.

Do the girls actually talk?

I'm not quite sure of the etiquette here.

I, I don't think there's a question
of etiquette, son.

They're… escorts.

(women laughing)

So you like flying around the world,

picking up strangers,
bringing them to our courts?

It isn't a matter of liking.

I'm trying to make people understand.

All these clinics,
forced to close their doors

by the simple stroke of the pen
of our president.

Now here we are in Boston

where there are eight world-class
hospitals within a 10-mile radius.

We don't see it.

I'm hoping Kavita will help us see it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I got the picture now.

This is all about beating your old man,

-isn't it, son?
-(groans)

For once, this isn't about you.

Then you won't mind losing.

(laughs wryly)

DENNY: I've got the law on my side.

Plus, the United States government
and Denny Crane…

two equal and unstoppable forces.

DONNY: Mm-hmm.

And I've got a sympathetic judge

and an honest woman who lost her child.

You always taught me, emotion wins.

(chuckles softly) Isn't he something?

(women giggling)

(Denny snickers)

Yeah…

-We're late.
-You're late.

I'm not going.

(sighs) That time of the month?

Come on.

We're having fun.

You're having fun…

sweeping into court,
trying a monumental case

about which there is much
to be thoughtful, much to articulate,

about which you know almost nothing.

And you're using nothing but easy jokes,

a swell suit and blind patriotism.

You're jealous of my son.

Denny, you don't have a son.
And the truth is,

you're making a complete ass
out of yourself in that courtroom

about something you shouldn't.

I don't care to see it or support it.

There's a difference between
being an ass and being effective.

When you win, they say you're effective.
When you lose, which I never do…

they call you an ass.

I don't need you, Alan.

(tense music playing)

I don't need anybody.

Never have.

Never will.

EDWARD: I was in charge
of the USAID office

in the Northeastern region of Nepal.

Part of my job was to enforce
the rules of the Mexico City policy.

What policy?

Everything comes with rice and beans?

(Denny chuckles)

No, the name of the policy in question

is the Mexico city policy.

But opponents erroneously refer to it
as the global gag rule.

DENNY: All right.
So what are we doing in Mexico?

That's where president Reagan
first enacted the policy in 1984.

It was enacted as a reaction
to forced abortions in China

as a means of population control.

-Chinese, Mexican, anybody hungry?
-Objection.

Sustained.

DENNY: All right,
let's get back to America.

Are you saying that these policies
were enacted as a humanitarian gesture?

Yes, it was.

And is it in the United States' discretion

to decide which clinics get funding?

As a part of our governmental
function, yes.

Determining funding…
is a purely governmental function.

And, uh, governments are immune
under the, um…

under the, uh…

(suspenseful music playing)

Federal Tort Claims Act.

Right.

Therefore…

You will move for dismissal
and I will again deny the motion.

JUDGE KIMBERLY: Move on.

Nothing further, Your Honor.

(sighs)

You, uh… you say this was done
as a humanitarian effort.

However, the rule was instituted
by President Reagan,

continued under the first President Bush,

then rescinded during
the Clinton administration.

That's true.

DONNY: And the day
George W. Bush took office,

reinstating the global gag rule

was one of his first official
pieces of business.

That sounds political to me.

Objection, uh…

Sustained.

So, the policy was designed

to stop abortion as a method
of family planning?

-Yes.
-Even though, by withdrawing funding

from those clinics, they no longer
have money for any family planning,

which could stop unwanted pregnancies
and the need for abortions?

Mr. Broden, you're not the only
USAID representative

that has to deal with this issue, are you?

No, I'm not.

DONNY: The truth is that
our global gag rule is affecting, well…

the globe. (scoffs)

The Balkans, Africa, South America, Asia,

any place dependent on US funding

is not allowed to even
utter the word "abortion."

EDWARD: Yes, that's true.

So don't you think it's curious

that in our administration's quest
to stop abortion,

we're actually restricting free speech,
which is a hallmark of democracy?

Objection. Irrelevant and unpatriotic.

Sustained.

(pensive music playing)

ALAN: Datemistake.com.

Thank goodness technology
has progressed to the point

where we no longer have to deal
with our issues privately.

So any of my misadventures
chronicled in there?

No.

-Surprised?
-A little.

As to the fact that you checked on me, no.

Just so you know, that little incident
would be considered sexual harassment.

You're quite intoxicating.

Oops! Did it again.

But you won't report me to the bosses.

Why not?

Marlene,

while I haven't known you long,

I get the feeling your best work is done
behind your colleague's back.

If you were to report me, you certainly
wouldn't have warned me first.

And besides, what you'd really like to do
is wrap your legs around me

and scream at the top of your lungs.

You're allowed one, aren't you?

Excuse me?

How about I just clear everything off
this desk?

(loud clattering)

We can take care of things right now.

Then afterwards, you can write me up
and send me on my way.

You're repulsive.

You're right.

And yet I can see in your eyes
you're not completely repulsed.

(suggestive music playing)

And therein lies the rub.

(upbeat stinger playing)

You can't hold someone liable
for expressing an opinion.

And besides, truth is a defense.

There are no objectively false facts here.

Oh, you gotta be kidding me.

Anonymous called me cheap.

Where did you take anonymous to dinner?

Jimmy Changas.

And is it true that you used a coupon?

(exclaims) That's not cheap. That's smart.

-And did you pay?
-Yes, I did.

And did she pay, too?

Yes.

He treated her as an equal,

which only proves he's a feminist
as well as resourceful.

Anonymous didn't post that on there.

DEREK: Yeah, and she says
I have no sense of humor.

I make jokes all the time.

ATTY. JOHN:
Those aren't jokes. Those are puns.

Puns aren't funny.

Well, that's just your…

…"o-pun-ion", isn't it?

DENISE (softly): Oh, dear God.

Look, Denise,

we agreed to return to the table
in good faith based on your reputation,

but you haven't given us any reason
to even go back to the original agreement.

All of the facts are on our side.

But we may have more plaintiffs
on our side.

With just a quick search on your website,
we have found ten men

willing to come forward who were defamed
with false statements.

It's a fact, not opinion.

You never mentioned these men
in your previous negotiations.

We were just focusing on our client

and we were hoping
you would be reasonable.

But you're not being reasonable.

So we're expanding this case
to a class action suit.

As to the facts…

(paper rustling)

…Brett Doran
does not still live with his mother.

Jack Bostick does not have
a one-inch Johnson,

even on a cold day.

MARLENE: I could go on.

There are 300,000 more postings

and plenty of eager associates
to review them.

(resolute music playing)

We'll give you a chance to talk this over.

Marlene.

(resolute music continues playing)

You posted these complaints yourself,
didn't you?

I'd have to be an idiot to do that.

So you had someone else do it for you.
A sister? A girlfriend?

Denise, while you were out
on a date last night,

I was here until three o'clock
in the morning hunting these guys down.

All it took was some hard work
and long hours but I was willing to do it.

Now we can go to court.

The reward is potentially bigger
but so are the risks.

Or we can go back in there
and get a bigger settlement

than you originally negotiated.

Your call.

I talk.

You don't say anything.

So had the chance to talk things over?

-As a matter of fact, we have.
-DENISE: And?

We don't like the way
you do business, Denise.

And I don't like the way
Ms. Moran does business.

Your company trades on the misery
and pettiness of others.

Ms. Moran, there are two ways
to make money in a business like this.

The first is the short-term cash you make

before someone like us comes in
and shuts you down with a major lawsuit.

The other is the real money that comes
when you grow your business large enough

that one of the big media companies
buys you out.

But nobody's going to buy a company

with a potentially huge class action
lawsuit hanging over its head.

And that's why you were willing
to settle in the first place.

Thirty thousand dollars
and this all goes away.

(pensive music playing)

Twenty thousand?

-Twenty-five.
-Done.

Yeah.

I'll draw up the paperwork.

You like hot fudge sundaes?

Hmm, who knows what you like?

You're a weirdo.

But my point is,
people like hot fudge sundaes.

Well, yesterday in court,
I gave them a hot fudge sundae.

DENNY: I was brilliant.

But after you've had a big,

delicious hot fudge sundae…

it's a while before you want another one.

-Are you with me so far?
-Let's say that I am.

Great. I want you
to do the closing argument.

-I'm sorry?
-I gave the jury a great big

Denny Crane sundae
with chocolate sauce and nuts

and a cherry on the top,
and now they're full.

I can't stuff another one down
their throats so soon.

Denny, how'd it really go
in court yesterday?

Magnificent.

That being said, if the jury heard
from someone that wasn't me,

it might refocus them in a way
that would guarantee victory.

Not that victory is in doubt.

I see.

Alan, I need to stay undefeated.

I don't want to look like a fool
in… in front of…

(somber music playing)

I need you to do this.

Friend helping friend.

(downbeat stinger playing)

This case is not about abortion.

It isn't about freedom of speech.

It isn't even about what foreign policy
the United States chooses to conduct.

DONNY: This case is about hypocrisy
and the arrogance of power.

Now under the laws of the United States,
abortion is legal.

But we tell other countries

that if they want USAID,

they cannot perform, encourage

or even mention abortion.

(chuckles)
We look the world in the eye and say,

"Do as I say, not as I do."

It's the very essence of hypocrisy.

So the clinic that Kavita Pokharel went to

had had its funding cut off
by a USAID representative

who mistakenly believed

that a poster in the clinic
advocated abortion.

She had been to the clinic before
and everything had been fine.

She had the reasonable expectation

that the clinic would continue
to function.

(scoffs)

How could she?

How could anyone be expected to know

that United States policy is as changeable
as the political winds?

A political hack

made a brutal, thoughtless decision
that could not be appealed!

And Ms. Pokharel's baby died.

At a time when we're trying
to spread democracy around the globe,

let us show the world
that we are not hypocrites.

Let us show the world

that when the Government
of the United States

makes a horrible, tragic mistake,

the courts of the United States…

will make that government pay for it.

(sighs deeply)

I'd like to begin with a cheer.

(mocks chanting) We're number one.

We're number one.

We're number…

(in normal tone) It's not much of a cheer.

It's repetitive
and rhythmically uninteresting,

but it does succinctly apply
to our country,

and has for quite some time.

In fact, we've been number one so long

that the rest of the world has come
to rely on us.

And we don't let them down.

We're the world's largest donor
of development assistance.

All in all, as a nation,

we donate over 55 billion dollars

a year in foreign aid.

Money, money, money, money,
money, money, money, money.

Everything is about money.

But we must never forget

that there is a terrible human tragedy,

at the center of all this.

Ms. Pokharel lost her child.

-The loss of any child's life…
-(whispering inaudibly)

…is an incalculable horror.

(whispering inaudibly)

It is for that reason

that I would ask you
to award the plaintiff

piles and piles of money.

After all, we have so much to give away.

Why not?

Piles and piles.

Thank you.

You know, come to think of it,

maybe we don't have that much
to give away, do we?

Our national debt is now over
eight trillion dollars.

(scoffs) Who cares?

Give them piles anyway. What the hell?

Never mind that we have 37 million people

living below the poverty line
right here at home.

ALAN: What does it matter
that our own literacy rate

doesn't even rank in the top 50 countries?

Just keep shelling out the foreign aid!

-Does it really bother anyone…
-(interpreter whispers inaudibly)

…that we don't have the resources
to help the Katrina victims?

Of course not! What's really important

is that the United States continue to be

that big ATM machine to the world,

doling out wads of cash
to every country who wants it.

Money, money, money, money,
money, money, money.

Never mind we don't have it.

These other nations,
they're entitled, aren't they?

Even the ones who vilify us
for protecting their freedom.

By the way,
listening to plaintiff's counsel,

I couldn't help but concur,
how horrible we Americans are.

Okay, so we donate 55 billion dollars
a year in foreign aid.

But then we impose certain
conditions on those gifts.

Imagine our awfulness.

And here, my God,
we promised money to a clinic

so long as they promised
not to promote abortion.

So they did.

How dare we not give them
the money just the same?

We should've given them
that and then some.

We have a duty to provide these handouts.

We have an absolute duty,

because we are the United States…

-(whispering inaudibly)
-…of America.

And these other nations,
well, they're entitled,

whether they keep their promises or not.

(pensive music playing)

-Our settlement check came in. 25 Gs.
-I'm just glad everything worked out.

Me, too.

But for all the sturm and drang,
we really did make a pretty good team.

I'm so glad we're not like those women
in the workplace

who feel compelled to compete
with every pair of legs in a skirt.

You know, Marlene,

you are not gonna get very far
at Crane, Poole & Schmidt

pulling the kind of crap you did
with this case.

Denise, the only crap I pulled was
to believe in this case

and invest myself in it.

That's why we more than doubled our money.

And I think that's why they hired me
at Crane, Poole & Schmidt.

Why did they hire you?

(quirky stinger playing)

Anyway, see you later.

(whispers) Squid.

Has the jury reached a verdict?

-We have, Your Honor.
-JUDGE KIMBERLY: How say you?

FOREPERSON: In the matter
of Kavita Pokharel Pokharel

versus the United States,

we find in favor of…

the United States of America.

Thank you for your service.
We're adjourned.

-(gavel bangs)
-Still undefeated.

I think my closing
made all the difference.

Denny, if I wrote it and delivered it,
how did it become your closing?

My case, I'm the lead attorney
and of course, I'm…

-Yes, you are.
-…the United States of America.

-Of course, we'll appeal.
-Of course, you'll lose.

(soft music playing)

Dinner, Denny?

Delighted, Donny.

Son, let me ask you something.

These lost causes, why do you do it?

Uh…

I suppose the struggle gives me comfort.

(chuckles)

Why do you do what you do?

(soft music playing in background)

I don't actually remember.

(laughs)

It may have something to do with
the massive amounts of money I make.

My mom died…

Uh… a few months ago.

I-I was gonna tell you the other night,

but the… Well…

hookers made it a little uncomfortable.

DENNY: Hmm.

I went looking for my real father.

And?

Lives in Maine.

He works on a cranberry bog.

Good man.

He wears waders.

Most days, he's up to his knees
in water and little red fruits.

Sounds like a very moist man.

(laughs)

He's not you.

Not the man I imagined growing up.

Not the man I pictured in my mind
when I was studying in law school.

So you're all alone.

Y… Yepper. (chuckles softly)

So… (sighs)

…any interest in being
my fake father again? (chuckles)

I never stopped being
your fake father, son.

(somber music playing)

(indistinct background chatter)

Good night, Mr. Crane.

Good night, Ms. Stanger.

(bright music playing)

(thunder rumbling)

DENNY: Your closing was very convincing,

almost as if you believed it.

I did.

-You do love America.
-Of course I do.

I didn't agree with the string
our government attached

to the money in this case,

but we have every right to attach strings
to the funds we give.

That's my boy.

I'm your friend, Denny,
but I'm not your boy.

That's what troubles me, this notion that
we have to take sides in this country now,

you're either with us or against us,
Republican or Democrat,

red state or blue state.

I can't believe I live in a blue state.

No one looks at an issue and struggles
over the right position to take anymore.

And yet, our ability to reason
is what makes us human.

Lately we seem so willing
to forfeit that gift of reason

in exchange for the good feeling
of belonging to a group.

We all just take the position of our team.

I've certainly done it
and hated myself for it.

I've never heard you make so much sense.

I make sense all the time,
you just listen intermittently.

Could be.

-Ah.
-(thunder rumbles)

I like that new girl.

Marlene.

She's got an aggressive eye.

Bet she's magnificent in bed.

(suggestive music playing)

Oh, I bet she's at her best
with her back against the wall.

Mm.

I can't wait till next week.

(snazzy music playing)

ALAN: Next on Boston Legal…

-Hi, Denise.
-It's so unfair when people like that win.

Don't you see? She is ruining our family.

-I hear you're in the heat.
-It seems so.

-Me too. We must be on the same cycle.
-We're going to make love.

-Are you in or not?
-I'm very much in.

DENNY: Nonsense.

You come with me to California.

I have some business to do
in the Los Angeles office.

-Barry Goal.
-Senior partner,

-Crane, Poole & Schmidt, LA.
-Barry Goal!

-You said that.
-DENNY: She's magnificent.

ALAN: Courtney Reese?

DENNY: She's got Denny Crane
written all over her.

-I just shot someone.
-Denny Crane.

-Everything's going to be all right.
-Hey, Guido.

-DENISE: So you're not dead.
-Not yet.

(theme music playing)

OLD WOMAN: You stinkah!