All language subtitles for Boston.Legal.S02E23.2005.Disney+.WEB-DL.1080p.H264.DDP-HDCTV_track6_[eng]

ALAN: Previously on Boston Legal…

I used to work on
the Texas Innocence Project.

One of my cases is up on appeal.

I could really use your help.

CHELINA: I'm looking
for the best lawyer I can find.

I think that's you.

I don't like jibber-jabber
in my courtroom.

Oh, my goodness.
That's as far as you should go.

-DENNY: She just kissed you?
-ALAN: I'm not gonna pursue it.

He shoots a client in the knee.

-(screams)
-He then shoots

a homeless man with a paintball gun.

-(paintball gun splats)
-(yelps)

Could you kindly point in any direction
other than my head?

-It's not loaded.
-(gunshot fires)

-(employees scream)
-Oh, I guess it is.

(yells) For God's sake, Denny!

(upbeat stinger playing)

It's just that I feel my song
is still in me.

-What song?
-DENNY: My song.

Everybody has a song in them, Sydney.
You should know that.

Oh, I see.

And yours is still unsung. Is that it?

Yeah!

I mean, here I am in my seventies,

and I still feel that everything
I wanted to express in life

is still… (muttering)

…bottled up inside me like, uh…
a kidney stone.

(Denny sighs)

Talk to me, Sydney. What are you thinking?

I think you're bored, Denny.

Bored? How can I be bored?
I'm Denny Crane.

Even the sound of my name fascinates.

More, Sydney. More about me.

(nervously) Yeah. Okay.

Well, I think

that you are a silver-spoon-fed,
rich, empty sack

who has nothing to do now
but count his money,

or spend it on hookers

and therapists who offer up
some form of affirmation.

And frankly, I'm sick of it!

I would no longer even treat you,

but for the $600 an hour I charge,

which sum, I might assure you,
is meant to deter your recurring visits.

Do you understand me, Denny?

I would sooner leap from the window
than see your lips move,

the sight of which is the visual cue

that feculent blather
is about to spew forth.

This is no way for a therapist
to talk to a patient.

My official medical recommendation
would be that you take yoga classes

so that you might gain
the necessary flexibility

to stick your head up your ass.

I…I do feel like
an empty sack sometimes.

It occasions depression.

It even caused me to buy
a handgun to end it.

I even carry it around with me,

never knowing when I might decide
to join the ranks of the unliving.

And then I think to myself,
how unoriginal.

Suicide is so ordinary.

But…

if I were to shoot…

my doctor…

(gun clicks) Well!

Now, but, you see, Denny,

that would result in you actually
accomplishing something real.

You see? Something actual

as opposed to the manufactured
heroics of your publicist,

the "mad cow."

And then it suddenly might matter,
really matter that you were born.

And, and how would you handle that
after 70-plus years

of unmitigated insignificance?

You don't think I matter?

Oh, pull the trigger, Denny!

Do something to rise above
your insipid press releases!

All the meaninglessness!

Just pull it!

You think I won't?

Actually, I happen to know you will.

I happen to know you must.

You see, you're pointing a gun
at a therapist

who's not only got a death wish of his own

but also a life insurance policy
which excludes suicide.

And you see, Denny, I've often wondered

how can I possibly end my life

without forfeiting my son's
Harvard education?

But if I were to be murdered,

then so…

you must shoot me, or I will shoot you.

Go ahead. Pull the trigger,
or I will kill you.

(ominous music playing)

-Okay, Sydney.
-Pull it.

I'm not gonna shoot you.
Don't be ridiculous.

Then you must die.

Come on, Sydney. Game's over.

Give you the count of three. One.

-Sydney.
-Two.

For God's sake.

-Three!
-(gunshot fires)

(bullet rattles)

(somber music playing)

(screams)

(theme music playing)

(knocking on door)

-What now?
-Denny shot his therapist.

Dear God. Paintball?

Real bullets.

-Is he…
-No.

The man is apparently going to survive.
He's in the hospital.

Denny's in custody.

Where's Alan?

P.D. MICHAEL: It's not that I'm not ready,
Your Honor!

It's that I was called for trial.

Division six, Judge Holt.

Judge Holt doesn't control my courtroom.

I told you the last time there'd be
no further continuances…

I cannot be in two places
at the same time!

Then you should've gotten somebody else
from your office to cover.

Somebody else?

The Public Defender's office
is so overextended.

So's the DA's office.

-He's here and ready.
-P.D. MICHAEL: Of course he's ready.

Because they prioritize
the racial profiling cases.

I object to that, Your Honor.

The truth is we shouldn't even be here!

JUDGE PAUL: Save it for trial, counsel,

which will begin tomorrow,
either with or without you.

Adjourned. (gavel bangs)

(people murmuring)

Excuse me. I couldn't help but overhear

which is so often the case
when people shout.

My name is Alan Shore.

I'm an extraordinary attorney.

I could tell you stories.

But more incredibly, I'm available.

CHELINA: Alan.

-Chelina.
-(Chelina chuckles)

-Oh, my God.
-(chuckles) How are you?

I'm fine.

(both hum affectionately)

CHELINA: How are you?

Today, a little dyspeptic.

But in general, I'm splendid.

CHELINA: God.

-The last time I saw you…
-I think it was a Sunday.

Then I was taken off the air.

You went off to do movies.

-Then I got switched to Tuesdays and…
-Here we are, with old footage.

Exactly. You look smashing.

And you're Black.

-Sorry?
-This is fate.

I just took a case
where I think race was a factor.

Profiling. I'd love to exploit you,
which I believe you invited me to do once.

-I meant sexually.
-Yes.

So this case involves persecution,
civil rights, all the good stuff.

Can legal aid spare you?
The client's indigent.

Alan, the last time we worked together,
I kissed you.

Really? I'd forgotten.

You'll have to refresh me on that.

(cell phone rings)

Excuse me.

My "lover."

Hello, Denny.

You did what?

(slow music playing)

(cell door opens)

(cell door shuts)

Thought he was a quail.

I'm not laughing.

-It was total self-defense.
-(Alan groans)

After I threatened to kill him,
the bastard threatened to kill me.

It's not right.

-Why were you carrying the gun?
-I've a constitutional right to bear arms.

Not a concealed weapon.

Oh, yes, I do.

And the Supreme Court's gonna say so.

Just as soon as they finish
overturning Roe v. Wade.

Denny, this time you've gone way too far.

-You always say that.
-No, I don't. Paul Lewiston does.

And besides, you shot a man. Another man.

I'm telling you I had no choice.
The man was gonna kill me.

DENISE: He could go to jail for this.
I mean, how could he avoid it?

Well, first of all,
he's claiming self-defense.

Second, the guy's apparently okay.

He just took it in the clavicle.

And third, I'm talking about Denny.

He shoots people all the time.

DENISE: Well, you're probably right.

He's probably already booked himself

on Larry King Live.

What's happening with Sandy?

Nothing.

-I thought you were gonna…
-Nothing's happening with Sandy.

-Didn't you have your big second…
-Nothing's happening with Sandy!

(sighs) She dumped me.

I'm sorry.

Did she say why?

Does it really matter?

Brad, while I appreciate
how deeply guarded you are,

you need to share more.

I mean, you don't have
any friends to talk to.

(spoon clatters) I have plenty.

Name three.

What happened?

You know, I'm going to tell you.

Just to see if the look on your face

remotely matches the look
on mine when she…

You know why she dumped me?

Because I'm a lousy kisser.

Yeah. Exactly my reaction.

Well, um, all I can say…

-if that is in fact the reason…
-It is.

-You're sure?
-I called an ex-girlfriend.

-She confirmed it.
-Confirmed it?

I'm the worst kisser
in the history of the planet.

Oh.

(sighs) Yeah. Let me ask you something.

Is it really that important
in the scheme of a relationship

and all its potential, including but not
limited to the parenting of children

is how a man kisses really that important?

Well, at the beginning,
all the promise of romance

and forgive me but the magic,
it's yes, it's in the kiss.

Women are always complaining
about not being taken seriously.

And you look at the leading
women's magazines, Vogue,

Cosmopolitan, it's always about
"How do I get a man?"

"How do I look?"
"How do I please a man in bed?"

And now I discover
they're willing to measure

the substance of a relationship
with a kiss.

It isn't men who demean women. It's women.

(blues stinger playing)

Hey. Alan. How's it going?

Fine. Thanks. How are you?
You can get back to me on that.

Brad. If there's something
trapped in there,

I encourage you to let it out quickly.
I'm due in court.

Well, I was wondering

if I could join you and Denny
on the balcony sometime.

Just trying to diversify my life
with some male bonding

and I was wondering, you know.

Brad, any gathering of three or more men
always seems like a team to me

and I've never been much of a team player.

So if you're going to show, count me out.

But is there something specific
you'd like to talk about?

Are you a good kisser?

(comical stinger playing)

Case number 62345.

The Commonwealth versus Denny Crane.

Alan Shore for the defendant.
We'll waive reading of the charges.

Oh, dear God, it's you.

I know who I am, counsel.

JUDGE ROBERT:
You don't need to tell me it's me.

I know perfectly well it's me.

That's superfluous information
that is tantamount to jibber-jabber.

I do not tolerate jibber-jabber
in my courtroom.

The defense enters a plea of not guilty.
I move for a probable cause hearing.

-JUDGE ROBERT: Why?
-ALAN: Why?

First, because I'm entitled to.

-Second, because I think…
-He shot him.

The victim is in the hospital.

I think I have enough probable cause,
Mr. Shoop.

Actually, Your Honor,
since our last get-together

I've changed my name from Shoop to Shore.

I figured since it's already on my
driver's license and passport,

not to mention all the pleadings
before you,

though I'd never presume you
to read pleadings, of course. They're…

BOTH: Jibber-jabber.

The victim is in fact scheduled to be
released from the hospital today.

It was simply a shoulder wound,

which is where my client was hoping
the bullet would land

once the gun accidentally went off

after the victim threatened
to shoot my client,

putting him in reasonable
fear for his life.

A.D.A. DUNCAN: Your Honor,
if he wants a probable cause hearing,

let him call the arresting officer.

The arresting officer wasn't there.

It was only my client and Dr. Fields.

We're talking about attempted murder here.

The damage to Mr. Crane's reputation
could be irreparable.

These charges never should've been filed.

And I should be allowed
a probable cause hearing.

You talk too much.

(Alan laughs)

Assuming the victim is physically able,

we will reconvene at 3:00 p.m. tomorrow,
you talker.

Enough of this… this…

(mutters)

…poppycock.

Poppycock.

Poppycock.

(slow stinger playing)

SYDNEY: Oh, no.
No, no, no, no, no, you don't.

Get out, Denny.

Dr. Fields, I'm Alan shore.

You undoubtedly know by now

that we've subpoenaed you to appear
at a probable cause hearing.

Well, that's not a very wise ploy,
Mr. Shore.

What is it you expect me to say?

That you forced Denny to shoot you,
that you gave him no choice.

Oh, you don't want to be
calling me to the stand, okay?

Dr. Fields, Denny informed me

that your intense desire to die

played a significant part
in what happened.

You know, often when people
contemplate dying,

they take measure of their legacy.

I'm assuming yours thus far
consists of many things.

Denny assured me honesty is one of them.

I shall count on you to be honest
in that witness chair tomorrow, sir.

Well, now, I wouldn't count on
anything if I were you.

Sydney, I never would've shot you.
You know that.

(soft stinger playing)

Dear God, what now?

The managing partners
have convened a meeting.

The topic of discussion is deposing Denny,
expelling him from the firm.

What? First of all,
the financial hit would…

They don't care. They've had enough.

Second of all, they need to read
their partnership agreement.

-Denny can…
-Evidently, we need to read it.

There is a clause
which calls for his ouster

should he ever be convicted of a felony,
which he is certainly looking at now.

(pensive music playing)

What do we do now?

I don't know.

They seem serious.

Why shouldn't they be?

He shoots people.

ALAN: Massachusetts has
no "stop and identify" statutes.

So we could make the argument
that the arrest was unlawful

and therefore our client
had a right to resist.

CHELINA: That'll never fly.

Well, it doesn't need to fly
so much as flap and flutter

its way to reasonable doubt.

Profiling is wrong.

We certainly don't do it
when selling off our ports.

Why are you looking at me like that?

Who's closing here?

Sorry?

With the case. Should I close or you?

Uh, I'll take the client
and… you can close.

MELISSA: Alan.

May I?

I'm not terribly comfortable with you
working closely with this woman.

-What? (chuckles)
-I'm tapped into office gossip.

I happen to know you kissed her
during the death penalty thingy case.

You're kissing me now. Remember?

Melissa, you and I kissed once.

I barely participated.

We certainly didn't agree
to any kind of exclusivity.

No hickeys or pins or letterman jackets.

You and I are in a relationship, Alan.

The fact that you don't realize it
doesn't give you license to be unfaithful.

You're mad as a hatter.

When two people sleep together…

That was a night terror thing.

I'm talking about the sex.

-What sex?
-(sighs)

The sex you and I both know is coming.

Don't fall for her, Alan.

She's just a guest star.

(dramatic stinger playing)

CARL: He seemed to be
just staring at one of the houses.

It seemed very odd.

We, uh, asked him for identification
and he refused to provide it.

-And then what happened?
-CARL: We asked him again.

He continued to refuse.

So we attempted to take him into custody.

That's when he became violent.

We eventually overcame him
and placed him under arrest.

When you arrived at the scene,
did you ask him what he was doing?

He said he found the houses
on this street quite beautiful,

and he enjoyed looking at them.

And is that lawful in this neighborhood,

to look at houses that you find beautiful?

-Of course.
-Is it your pattern

to ask people for identification
when they're engaging in lawful behavior?

-He didn't live there. So I thought…
-How did you know that?

I patrol that neighborhood.

I pretty much know who lives there
and who doesn't.

You know everybody in this neighborhood?
Every person?

Not every person but…

How did you know my client
didn't live there?

We have the right to ask
citizens for identification.

That's all I did.

CHELINA: You know what?

I checked you out.

You're an exemplary officer.

You also have a reputation for honesty.

Honestly, officer…

your decision to ask my client
for identification, was his race a factor?

Officer, was it at all a factor
that he was Black?

(somber music playing)

Black in an all-white neighborhood.

Yes, it was a factor.

(upbeat stinger playing)

-Alan.
-Shirley.

How are we doing?

If you mean with Denny,

I've got a probable cause
hearing scheduled.

I'm trying to make this go away,
though I can't possibly see how.

You need to. Wagons are starting to circle
if he gets any kind of conviction…

Shirley. Surely, Shirley,
he'll be convicted of something.

Well, it can't be a felony.

There's a clause
in the partnership agreement.

It's serious, Alan.
The partners seem inclined to expunge him.

Well, his name is on the wall.

They'll keep the name and broom him.

I see no way of dodging this,
short of you having sex with the judge.

I'm sorry. I now feel queasy
having even thought of that.

What about the victim?

-Can he be influenced?
-I doubt it.

Even if he consented to being shot,
which he seemingly did,

that still doesn't absolve Denny.

Do you have a plan?

At the moment? No.

So stupid.

-Then why are you being so…
-Because I'm being stupid.

It's like freakin' high school,
for God's sakes.

Okay.

-Tell me exactly what happened.
-I told you. I was on a date.

It was a terrific date.

With another woman?

Where do you find all these women anyway?

I'm a lawyer. I was a marine.
Just do the math.

I'm the complete package.

Right.

-So…
-So I get to her front step.

Clearly she would have received
my kissing her.

I wanted to kiss her.
I was going to kiss her.

But I didn't, because I have
this new phobia.

I mean, a kiss is just a kiss, right?

That's what the stupid song says.

What, um, exactly are you doing
when you kiss?

-I do what everybody else does.
-Yeah. Exactly what?

Lips meet. At some point,
I put my tongue in.

Swish it around a little.

Um, well, maybe you could use
some pointers or something.

I happen to be a very advanced kisser.

Maybe I can walk you
through this a little.

Don't be ridiculous.

Beats having a phobia.

No, it doesn't.

Fine.

(percussive music playing)

(whispers) Don't even ask.

Mr. Pryor, why were you
in that neighborhood?

DENNIS: I like to dream.

One dream, I guess my American dream,

is someday I would like to live
in a home like those.

I enjoy the architecture, the landscaping.

You realize a police officer has the right
to ask for identification?

And if I would've been
doing anything suspect,

I would've given it to him.

If it would've been a random thing,
I would've complied.

But it wasn't. I was targeted

because I was the wrong color.

But Mr. Pryor, come on.

You physically resisted
the police officers.

I never assaulted them.

I just…

When they pushed me to the ground
and tried to handcuff me,

I simply fought back.

If a police officer sees a man he believes
to be a stranger in the neighborhood,

and that man is strangely staring
at houses for no apparent reason,

is it your testimony
that it's unreasonable

to ask that man his name?

It's not reasonable to ask him
simply because he's Black.

If the man had been white,
staring at the houses

it would be okay to ask his name?

If he would've been white,
he wouldn't have been asked.

That's my point.

(somber music playing)

Plead guilty?

They've offered probation.

You're asking me to plead guilty?

Mr. Pryor, your testimony went well,
but let's not kid ourselves.

Under the law, police can constitutionally
require identification

without probable cause,
without reasonable suspicion.

-How can that be?
-Because the public wants to feel safe.

And people, especially the white ones

don't want the Black ones
staring at their homes.

Now, we can keep fighting here,

but you must know the law
does not support us.

I want to fight.

(resolute stinger playing)

(door shuts)

-How's it looking?
-Not good, Denny.

-Oh.
-Aside from the case at hand,

we've got your rather
colorful history of shooting people.

There was the man in the office last year.

He took you hostage.

Paintball incident.

-He threw a rock at me.
-Your own client.

In the knee.

It simply won't be a big leap
for a jury to think…

(chuckles)
…you'd happily plug your therapist.

(muttering) I know. I know.

It's… it's different this time. I…

shot a human being.
A real human being.

The others weren't?

Well, two were criminals
and the other was, homeless.

But Sydney is real.

He pays taxes. He lives.
He breathes. He's a Republican.

We're just so desensitized to guns.

(quavering)
I, you know, I don't like to admit this.

I laughed when I heard
that the vice president

mistook his friend for a bird.

I actually laughed.

You were the only one.

But to see it for real.

I still can't shake the image
of Sydney going down.

I… I never thought I'd say this,

but I can't bring myself
to so much as look at a gun.

-Denny.
-The way he fell,

I thought he was dead. Gone.

Now I'm gone.

It's not over yet, Denny.

Alan, so help me God

if you ever catch me
looking at a gun again…

(sighs)

(somber stinger playing)

(somber music playing)

How we doing?

A list of everything you love about me.

That's my closing.

What do I say?

The police can legally require an ID.

He resisted arrest.

Under the law, he's guilty.

What am I supposed to do?

Ask that the jury disregard the law?

You need to have faith in them, Chelina.

You need to remember these are people
of conscience, of compassion.

You need to remember
they're too stupid to get off jury duty.

I am not that cynical.

I know you're not.

Shirley Schmidt.

She assigned me to a case
recently to close.

She felt I had a certain capacity to see
the darkness in people's hearts.

One of the reasons I wanted you
on this case, among other reasons…

I think you have a capacity…

to tap into what is fundamentally decent
about people.

I believe…

if you call on this jury
to do what is right, morally right,

if not legally…

(hopeful music playing)

…they will follow.

So, what pointers
do you have specifically?

I have another date.

-Same girl?
-Different.

The few, the proud, the brave,
lawyer package.

I get dates all right,
but I need you to tell me how to kiss.

Okay. Um, first of all.

The "Stick it in
and swish it around" thing,

it's not supposed to be
like cleaning your toilet.

Nice.

There needs to be a certain
gentility about it.

I think you might be too aggressive.

-Okay.
-Also,

what part of your tongue
is making contact with hers?

-What do you mean?
-I mean

what… what part of your tongue
is connecting with hers?

The tip. What else?

-Oh.
-BRAD: What?

Well, uh, this part here,

that is the most sensitive.

You don't taste food with the tip.

And this part is the most sensual.

Well, how do people connect
with that part without slobbering?

They just… (stutters)

Okay, could I please show you clinically?

What do you mean?

I mean, Brad, that I'm
a double black diamond kisser.

And I'm also incredibly busy.

So could I please just quickly show you?

-Well, I guess.
-Okay.

Okay. Okay, relax.

The tongue isn't supposed to get hard.
I think that could be your problem.

(muffled) Okay.

Better.

Um, definitely better.
But tone down the swishing.

And I feel like you're blocking my tongue
from going into your mouth.

-Yeah, I don't like that.
-What?

I don't like it when a woman's tongue
goes in my mouth.

Oh, Brad, that's the whole idea.

Yours and hers and hers…

I just prefer that everything
takes place in her mouth.

-Why?
-Because I do.

Brad, this is why you are the worst kisser
in the history of the planet.

So drop the homeland security
and let the girl's tongue in.

-(mutters) All right.
-Relax. Code yellow.

-Wow.
-Wow! Definitely.

No questions asked. Wow. (chuckles)

-Let's try it again.
-Mm.

DENISE (moans softly): Mmm.

Um…

you're a… you're a really quick study.

(pants)

Wow. (chuckles)

Let's put it together. You and me.
Me and you.

I, um… I don't think that…

(Denise grunts)

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
This lesson does not include hands.

(suggestive rock music playing)

CLERK: Do you swear
to tell the truth, the whole truth,

and nothing but the truth,
so help you God?

Yes. Yes, I do.

ALAN: Good afternoon, Dr. Fields.

Thank you for joining us.

I realize you've been through
quite an ordeal.

Yes. And now you seek
to put me through another.

Your Honor, Dr. Fields is hostile.

-Why wouldn't he be? He was shot.
-ALAN: No.

I mean as in hostile witness.

-Uh, permit me to lead.
-Oh, go on then.

Dr. Fields, at the time of the incident,

Mr. Crane was in the middle
of a therapy session with you.

-Am I correct?
-Denny Crane doesn't even

believe in therapy.
He comes out of boredom.

SYDNEY: He likes to hear himself talk.

Which is the cause of great
frustration for you?

Yes!

Because when he's not
endlessly repeating his name,

he's full of this self-serving blather.

If I have to hear him go on one more time

about mad cow…

This time he was less boring.
He pulled a gun.

Yes. Well, the gun. The gun.

If I had a nickel for every time
he did that…

Wait. He's drawn a gun on you before?

Oh. (scoffs) Oh! Hell, yes.

Any time he doesn't like what he hears,
yes, it's Dirty Harry time.

So you really didn't feel threatened
when he produced a firearm this time then?

I felt threatened to the extent

that this time it might just go off,
the way he waves it around.

Okay. But Doctor, you produced
a gun of your own, didn't you?

Absolutely I did. Yes.

-Why?
-Because I just did. That's why.

Okay? I was sick of his antics
and I told him so.

And in fact,
you called him an empty sack.

You told him he led a meaningless life.

You provoked him to pull his gun,
didn't you?

Maybe so. I don't know. Who cares?

What is this poppycock?

What kind of doctor are you?

Your Honor, if I may proceed?

-Oh, go on then.
-Dr. Fields,

once Mr. Crane produced his weapon,
you drew yours.

And you told him if he didn't shoot you,
you'd shoot him.

-Did you not say that, sir?
-Obviously.

You know that I did.

You, in fact, wanted him to shoot you
so you wouldn't have to shoot yourself

and your family could collect
the life insurance

to pay for your son's
Ivy League education.

Well, it certainly sounds
like you were there.

ALAN: And in fact, you gave him
to the count of three, didn't you?

Shoot you by the count
of three or you'd kill him?

-That's right. Mm-hmm.
-And you counted it off.

One, two…

BOTH: And three!

-Don't anybody leave this room.
-(people scream)

-What is this jibber-jabber?
-Shut up!

That wouldn't be jibber-jabber,
Your Honor. That's a gun.

Anybody leaves this room,
and I will shoot Mr. Shore.

If I might object to that.

JUDGE ROBERT:
How did you get in with that?

My brother is a lawyer,

and I came in the back door
with his bar card.

I guess the question, Dr. Fields, is why?

Why? Because all my life
I sat in that chair.

That's why.

Listening to other people who had lives
far more grander than mine

while I just sat tucked away in my office
leading no life at all.

Vicariously coaching other people,

watching them get rich like this… this…

(yells) …nutcase here!

And I couldn't stand it anymore!
I did crack!

I wasn't gonna just stand around

being some… some sort of impotent
little spectator to my own life!

And I'm sick of any society that… that

glamorizes the eccentrics
and the psychopaths,

and the belligerents
when there's the meek and the wise…

If I could get you to point
that in any other dir…

Shut up!

(people exclaim)

You think you're the only one
who likes to live big, Denny?

You think that? You think that
by paying me $600 an hour,

that that entitles you to belittle me?

Six hundred?

(yells) Shut up!

(people exclaim)

You stand belittled now, Denny.

Why don't I shoot your best friend here?

Why not? I mean, he's your real therapist.

He's the one you tell your secrets to!

Why don't I just shoot him?

Dr. Fields, please put the gun down.

I didn't shoot before, Denny,
but I will this time.

-I really will.
-Sydney.

I took you out once.
Don't make me do it again.

-With what?
-This!

-(gunshot fires)
-(people exclaim)

(quirky music playing)

(staff chattering indistinctly)

You said you'd never so much
as look at a gun again.

I never said I wouldn't shoot one.

(upbeat stinger playing)

I feel I should go with him.

I'm as close as he actually has to family.

-Denny, you shot him twice.
-Even so.

Should we ask for a continuance?

No, I want to make my argument
to dismiss to the judge

while he's still in the throes of fear.

I'm due in Division Three
for closing arguments in the Pryor case.

Hopefully, I'll be back within the hour.

-I'll take over from here.
-Don't you dare!

-And don't shoot anybody.
-Oh, please.

(quirky stinger playing)

DENISE: Did they arrest Denny again?

Apparently not.
It appears he saved everyone.

-What about the underlying charges?
-As far as I know, they still stand.

Um… we need to talk.

(whispers) We most certainly do.

It was a kissing demonstration.

We had sex.

I'm aware of that.

-On the floor.
-I am aware of that too.

Which brings me to… what now?

Company inkwell, Brad.
We work together. That's it.

-We had sex.
-Yes.

-Incredible sex.
-Yes.

And that's it?

Yes.

(pensive stinger playing)

(action stinger playing)

A.D.A. OLIVER: Mr. Pryor refused
to identification in defiance of the law.

He then physically resisted arrest,
which is a second crime.

And he wasn't targeted simply
because he was Black, by the way.

He was questioned

because he was a stranger
to a particular neighborhood.

Now, did Officer Ralston
come to that conclusion in part

because he was African-American?

Yes. He admitted that.

But where's the line between
racial profiling and common sense?

Race can be used as a criterion

as long as it's just one factor among
others in estimating criminal suspicion.

Common sense.

When it comes to terrorism, for example,

of course we target people
of Islamic or Arab descent.

We simply have to afford the police
the discretion to say, "Hey…

that person might be more likely to be
engaging in certain criminal activity."

Now here, the defendant
was a stranger to this neighborhood.

He was oddly staring at houses.

Officer Ralston asked his name.

The defendant refused to tell him

which in addition to being a crime,
made him more suspicious.

But then he got violent.

We're here not because
of Mr. Pryor's race…

but because he broke the law.

I guess we don't have much
of a problem targeting Islamics…

especially not at the airport.

That doesn't offend us
because we all so want to feel safe.

But the thing is it's taken
the stigma off of racial profiling.

The term no longer has a bad connotation.

And that just makes it easier
to profile other races, doesn't it?

I mean, once you say
it isn't an evil to discriminate

you make it slightly more
permissible to discriminate.

Next thing you know, you got police
questioning African-Americans

simply for looking at houses
in white neighborhoods.

We have a term in this country
called "DWB"…

"Driving While Black."

Innocent Black motorists are pulled over
every day in this country.

It's a way of life.

Well, guess what.

People like Dennis Pryor have a choice.

They can either rail against it

or they can just concede
it's a way of life…

and things stay the same.

Dennis Pryor decided to protest.

He decided to hear the words
of Henry Thoreau, Susan B. Anthony,

Martin Luther King Jr,

who all considered
civil disobedience to be patriotic.

American.

You need to go back to that room

and hear the dream of Dr. King,

where children grow up to be judged
not by the color of their skin.

My client was judged
by the color of his skin.

That cannot be acceptable to a country
that prides itself on human rights.

That cannot be acceptable
to the 12 of you.

(hopeful music playing)

I don't dispute
that Mr. Crane's life was in danger,

but he created the dangerous situation

when he first pulled the gun
on Dr. Fields.

Oh, please. Did I create it
in this courtroom?

A.D.A. DUNCAN: Well, to an extent, yes.

We wouldn't have all been standing here

had you not pulled that gun
back in the doctor's office.

Your Honor, I saved this man's life,
probably yours,

and he's in here waving
around his poppycock

with his mumbo jumbo jibber-jabber…

At a minimum, the charges

of carrying a concealed weapon
should be considered.

DENNY: National security.

Dr. Fields is a terrorist.

He terrorized this courtroom.

(whispers) He's a Democrat.

I've had enough of all this.

Mr. Crane, you had no excuse
to be carrying a gun.

Second Amendment. Founding Fathers.
You probably knew them.

Jibber-jabber.

But here,

you did use the gun to save lives.

Quite possibly my own.

I'm going to let you off this time

-with just a stern warning.
-Thank you.

I haven't given it yet!

Mr. Crane,

I warn you not to do…

this again.

Not guilty. Adjourned.

Well, seems you didn't need me after all.

Enny-day ane-cray.

(triumphant stinger playing)

Mr. Foreman, has the jury reached
a unanimous verdict?

-We have, Your Honor.
-What say you?

In the matter of the Commonwealth
versus Dennis Pryor

on the charge of disorderly conduct,
we find the defendant

not guilty.

On the charge of unlawfully resisting
arrest, we find the defendant

not guilty.

JUDGE PAUL:
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,

-thank you for your service.
-I won?

You won.

-(gavel bangs)
-No probation or anything?

You won, Dennis. You are free to go.

(chuckles in relief)

-Thank you.
-Mm-hmm.

-And thank you.
-I hope you get to live in that

beautiful house one day, Mr. Pryor.

-Pick a better neighborhood.
-(Dennis laughs)

I will. Thank you. I will.

(mellow music playing)

Bye.

Bye.

Ah, still at large.

(muffled)
And don't think I take it for granted.

Canada, Japan, England.

Any number of those pinko countries,
I'd be in jail for shooting somebody.

God bless America.

I had sex with her.

-With whom?
-Kate Smith, before she put on the weight.

From the mountains to her prairies,
she is one hell of a ride.

So, Denny, what happened?

Your love affair with guns back on?

Alan, lives were saved
because I was armed.

We all should be armed.

Every citizen should have one
strapped to his waist.

Hell, the criminals all have them.

The answer isn't less guns. It's more.

I'm surprised you didn't think
of it sooner.

Mad cow.

So…

how was it with Ch-Chelina?

-Incredible pheromones.
-Hmm.

Had I been a moth,
we'd have mated and died by now.

And then, of course, there's Melissa.

(laughs) I don't know what to make of her.

It's good to have choices.

Thought it was funny to finally
meet your therapist.

(mellow music playing)

A man never introduces his wife
to his mistress.

That's a shame.

Makes for a hell of a party.

(Denny chuckles)

(muffled) So do you think
it's a sign of Alzheimer's

if you can't remember
how many people you shot?

As long as you can remember who.

Mm.

BRAD: Next on Boston Legal…

Bonjour, mes Amis.

-Edwin Poole is back.
-Edwin.

-Welcome back.
-EDWIN: Stop making it about you.

I need to sue.

I need to make money for this firm.

-For that, I need a victim.
-But I'm not a victim!

Edwin, you seemed less crazy
with your pants down.

-Thank you.
-Alan Shore, you're under arrest.

This is a personal grudge.

You're on trial because you broke the law.

Denny, I need you to stand up
before that jury when we're done

and tell them, "Let Alan Shore go!"

I'll do it.

(theme music playing)

OLD WOMAN: You stinkah!