All language subtitles for Boston.Legal.S02E21.2005.Disney+.WEB-DL.1080p.H264.DDP-HDCTV_track6_[eng]

PAUL: Previously on Boston Legal…

It's time to get back out there
and start dating again.

Shirley's told me so much about you.

Giggity-giggity.

I met someone else
and the night took a whole other twist.

-Uh, I have been arrested.
-What for?

-Impersonating a police officer.
-(whispers) I'm such a loser.

I want you to find out if my daughter
is using drugs again.

What time do you get off work?

I get off at 7:00.

I would appreciate your protecting
my relationship with her if you can.

What about my relationship?

Night terrors?

I haven't had them in years.

I'm afraid of clowns.

There's something screwy
going on up there.

(upbeat stinger playing)

ALAN: And over 40%
of the groundwater in the United States,

40%,

is contaminated by industrial,
agricultural, household pollution.

Over the last five years,

hundreds of thousands of blood tests
given to Massachusetts children

have shown elevated
levels of lead in their blood.

And yet what is our biggest fear?
The dirty bomb.

-Not the dirty water…
-ERIC: Objection.

Your Honor, Mr. Shore is introducing
evidence in his closing

that was never presented at trial.

Nonsense, Your Honor.

I refer you to plaintiff's
exhibit number apple.

-I beg your pardon?
-Apple trash can is picked from God.

-Huh?
-Mr. Shore…

Not the years 60
when classic electrons are free.

Objection.

I think.

Mr. Shore, you have a notorious
history of courtroom theatrics.

If your aim is to force a mistrial,
you will be disappointed.

(laughs softly) Pillow pants join forces
over embargo pylons.

You aren't sailing past honor
for the liking of a room.

These questions are birthday basements.

To end the blue radish
is the upside of luxury

and sparking a good lizard can only
make tears fall in hindsight.

Puddles do not ask for why not.

It is cheese, breath, and wind.

It is cheese.

(comical music playing)

What?

(theme music playing)

DR. CRAIG: Word salad.

It's a phenomenon of confused language

seen most often in patients
with schizophrenia

or another underlying psychosis.

Now similar symptoms may also result

from head trauma or an invasive tumor.

-And I have?
-None of those.

According to the MRI,
your brain looks normal.

ALAN: I wouldn't know if it didn't.

Also, you don't display any symptoms
of psychosis or schizophrenia.

Well, we hardly know each other.

The truth of it is,

the brain is very much a mystery.

It's theoretically possible

that these symptoms might be brought on
by acute anxiety.

How are things at home?

I live alone in a hotel.

I see.

Word salad?

It's talking in unintelligible gibberish,
brought on by anxiety.

-He gave me some pills.
-Ooh. Let me see.

Oh, blue. I like blue.

Something to wash it down with?

I don't know.

I rather value my melancholy.

It used to be a personality trait
one was allowed to have

like Abraham Lincoln or Lord Byron.

Now one is required to grin

and say things like, "great."

You don't need pills.

You need to stop helping people.

What do you mean?

All those old people who were being
fleeced by that conservator,

the smokers,

that gloomy little girl
who wouldn't smile.

You tried to help those people
and don't deny it.

I don't but what the hell does that have
to do with this episode of word salad?

Well, Alan, the human mind
is like a bucket.

It can only hold so much.

You see all that suffering
going on around you

and you… you get involved

it fills up your bucket
and soon it's overflowing.

The doctor recommended
I take a few days off.

I know just the thing.
I'm gonna take you to my spa.

I'm gonna empty your bucket.

(dramatic stinger playing)

(upbeat stinger playing)

I live at 147 Edgar street.

And I'm at 149 Edgar street.

-ALENA: We babysit each other's kids.
-EVETTE: We go to CostBuy together.

Split everything.

Toilet paper, paper towels.

-Jumbo ketchup two-pack.
-I have the lawn mower.

-Hedge clipper, weed whacker.
-And we both share Ray.

EVETTE: There's just one problem
with this arrangement.

-It's completely illegal.
-I'm afraid so.

Well, for six years, everything was fine
but you know how people start to talk.

And one day we came home with the children

and Ray was being handcuffed and arrested.

ALENA: Right in front of 147.

Now, Denise, we've done nothing wrong.
There's no victim here.

EVETTE: To the contrary.

In this chaotic world we live in
where there is no stability,

we have found a way to raise a family
in a cooperative, loving way.

And now we're being punished for it.

-I think that's wrong.
-We all do.

Especially me.

Guys, the law on polygamy has been settled

for a long time.

So? It's time for a change.

-Denise, we are very committed to this.
-I know I am.

Right.

(action stinger playing)

-Chris Mott. Shirley Schmidt.
-How do you do?

-BRAD: Paul Lewiston.
-PAUL: Hello.

Chris is an old buddy of mine
from Annapolis.

Right now he's founder
and CEO of Alcove Games.

Last quarter, they posted
a profit of $502 mil.

Very impressive. How can we help you?

A wrongful death suit.

Completely frivolous,
filed by the mother of a kid

who died while playing
their latest video game.

-He died?
-Heart attack.

How is that even possible?

He played the game for nearly two days.
Didn't eat, didn't drink.

His heart stopped.

The game is called Hell Born.

You start out as a ghost fighting
your way out of hell,

and when you finally reach the surface,

you need to track down your lost soul
in order to become human again.

Sounds like a typical day around here.

BRAD: Like I said, it's a frivolous suit.

No jury's gonna hold
the company responsible

because a parent let a kid play a game
for two days straight.

But there's a glitch.

I need this to go away
before it goes to trial.

We've got a sequel coming out next month
and bad press could kill us.

Shouldn't be a problem.

I'm thinking we can get this kicked
on summary judgment.

PAUL: Five hundred and two million.
You've landed your first whale.

-Nice work, partner.
-Thank you.

Paul. How's your daughter doing in rehab?

Rachel's doing just fine, Brad.

Tell her I said hello?

I will.

(snazzy music playing)

I never took you for a spa person, Denny.

(muffled) Oh, man. I love it.

Being touched and caressed and…

Milked.

Thank you, Dana.

Are you still spooked
by this word jumble thing?

Word salad. Yes.

Happens to me all the time.
You get used to it.

I don't want to get used to it.

It was extremely upsetting to be speaking

and to see confusion on the faces
of everyone around me.

I'm not the most connected individual,
Denny. (chuckles)

Sometimes words are all that allow me
to feel like I'm a part of the world,

a part of life.

If I don't have words, then I'm alone.

Ashtray, soda pop, dingo?

(comical stinger playing)

Gotcha.

(Denny snickers)

Now relax.

ELLEN: Wes was obsessed with the game.

All the kids were talking about it.

It was the only thing
he wanted for his birthday.

-SHIRLEY: So you bought it for him.
-Yes.

ELLEN:
He would play before school, after school,

in the middle of the night.

He'd played other video games before
but this one? This one was different.

He couldn't stop.

His grades began to slip,
so I took the game away.

-How did he react?
-ELLEN: We argued constantly.

So he began going to friends' houses
after school to play.

I realized I couldn't win,
so I gave him the game back

figuring at least that way,
I could keep an eye on him.

What happened the weekend your son died?

I got home after working
a double shift at the store.

And, um, I only had 15 minutes to change
before I left for my second job.

I clean offices.

I told Wes it was time to quit.

He said he just needed five more minutes
to get to the next level.

He promised he would go to bed
as soon as he was finished.

So I kissed him, said good night
and went to work.

What time did you arrive home?

About 5:00 the next morning.

I just fell into bed with my clothes on.

I woke up at noon
and went to check on him.

(sobbing) And that's when I found him.

He was slumped in his chair
in front of the screen and…

You know, at first, I… I thought
he'd just fallen asleep.

(whimpering)

Would you like to take a recess?

No. I would rather get this over with.

BRAD: Mrs. Beller, how old was Wesley?

-Fifteen.
-And you're a single parent?

Yes. Wes's father is no longer
in the picture.

So you were solely responsible
for his care, clothing, feeding him,

-taking care of him when he was sick?
-Yes.

And you made sure that he ate right,
got enough sleep, did his homework?

-I took very good care of my son.
-I'm sure you did.

And yet the coroner's report lists
the cause of death

as a myocardial infarction
brought on by physical exhaustion.

Apparently, your son did not eat, drink
or sleep for over 36 hours straight.

Now I can't speak to the pain
that you must be feeling…

but how did this happen?

I work two jobs, Mr. Chase.

BRAD: I understand that.

But I can't help wondering that

if you had checked in on your son
that night instead of falling asleep

that maybe he'd be alive today.

Now isn't that correct?

Objection. Don't answer that.

(gloomy stinger playing)

(foreboding stinger playing)

What's the problem?

In responding to Ms. Beller's
production request,

we came across something.

When your company designed Hell Born,
you commissioned a study

that documented the effects
the game had on its players.

The report states that playing
the game dramatically

increases the dopamine levels
in the players' brains.

I'm aware of it. Sure.

Chris, this means Mrs. Beller can argue

that Alcove Games knew
their games were addictive

when they sold them to the public,
including minors.

Oh, that's ridiculous.
That's just one study.

Besides, it's an established fact
that all video games increase

the dopamine levels in the brain.

At least the good ones do.

Are there any other studies out there?

Anything like this that can
bite us in the ass?

No, just the one.

Okay. (sighs)

We're required to turn
this over to Ms. Beller.

As per the rules of discovery,
we'll provide it

with the 100,000 other pages of documents
that pertain to this production request.

So you're gonna bury it?

No, that would be unethical.

We'll simply comply…

fully.

(dramatic stinger playing)

It's not religious. It's practical.

I'm a dietician at Mercy Hospital.

And what does every working
mother always plead?

"I wish I had a wife."

Well, I actually do.

Imagine leaving for your job

and never having to worry about daycare,

late babysitters, nightmare nannies.

Your child gets sick, you have someone
there you trust, who loves your children.

Someone with a warm home
who cooks healthy,

homemade meals for your children

and has a lovingly prepared
dinner waiting for you

when you walk in the door
Someone who bakes.

Sounds wonderful.

Continue.

EVETTE: And our kids love it too.

At any one time,
there's a parent to give a hug,

some advice, share a story.

Families these days
are no longer together,

scattered across the country.

Ours is simply another form
of an old-fashioned extended family.

Who are we kidding? It's about the sex.

I'm a stay-at-home mom.

I have three kids ages one to six.

That's 24/7 breastfeeding,

potty-training, fever, solid food,

diapers, ear infections, dishes,
homeworks, toys, chaos.

Raising children is the single
most exhausting job ever

anywhere, anyhow.

Did I make myself clear?
I'll say it again.

It is the most exhausting job ever.

-Don't you think?
-Absolutely.

A.D.A. RICHARD: Objection.

Sustained. Strike that last remark…

(softly) even though it's completely true.

-Alena. You were telling us about sex?
-Oh, yes.

I love my children but by the end
of the day, I am bone-tired.

My husband comes home, he's tired too,

but somehow, he still has a little
energy for baby making.

Now if we were in a traditional marriage,
at that moment

we would have an explosive argument.

But since we're not,
when I am that exhausted

and he has that look in his eye,
I simply ship him off to Evette

where she satisfies him, and he her…

And then I draw myself a nice,
hot bath… and read the paper.

(relieved sigh)

("Come Away to Belize with Me"
by Jerry Jeff Walker playing)

-This works for me.
-I knew it would.

More gobbledygook, please.

Hey, take it easy, man.
Deep breaths. Just relax.

Denny, I meant to say gobbledygook.
The stuff on my face.

I think I've decompressed.

My word salad days have wilted.

May I have my hand, please?

ALAN: Thank you, Denny.

This is almost as good as fishing.

Denny's my friend.

He takes me to nice places,
buys me nice things.

We like to dress up.

Flamingos.

Your Honor, there's not
a shred of evidence

for which a jury would rule
against my client.

Now as tragic as his death may be

plaintiffs have not shown any causal link

between Mr. Beller's death
and his playing Hell Born.

We have the internal dopamine study.

That's one study which shows that playing

any video game could raise
anyone's dopamine level.

BRAD:
That's hardly enough to prove causation.

JUDGE WILLARD:
I have to agree, Mr. Hoberg.

If your only evidence is this one study…

We have a witness, Your Honor.

-What witness?
-Dr. Samuel Williams.

He'll testify that
not only did Alcove Games

know their games were addictive,

they intentionally tried to make them so.

That is the first we're hearing
of this, Your Honor.

Dr. Williams just came forward.

Your Honor, they're stalling
and wasting the court's time.

Before ruling on the motion,
the court will hear Dr. Williams.

But Mr. Hoberg, I don't like surprises.

Tread carefully.

-Your Honor, I…
-Your objection is noted

for the record, Mr. Chase.

The court will hear
Dr. Williams's testimony.

I thought you said there was nothing else.

Dr. Williams is a psychologist we hired

to consult on how to make our games
more appealing to the consumer.

It didn't work out and we fired him.
It's really not a big deal.

Chris, we need to get this case thrown out
now while it's only in front of a judge.

We've got a woman with a dead kid.

A jury is gonna wanna make
somebody pay for that.

Now did you hire this Dr. Williams
to make your games more addictive or not?

I started with nothing.

I built this company.

I employ hundreds of people.

I didn't do anything wrong!

Okay. Right.

You've known me for 20 years
and you're doubting me?

Chris, this isn't about friendship.

This is about getting rid of this case
quickly and quietly.

Now maybe we should consider settling.

No.

No. To me, a settlement
is an admission of guilt.

And Alcove Games is not gonna be
a scapegoat on this,

even if this goes public.

(tense stinger playing)

(upbeat stinger playing)

Dr. Klaywig, as a historian of family law,

could you tell us why laws against
polygamy were enacted?

DR. KLAYWIG:
The origins, of course, are biblical.

But in recent history,

they were enacted to prevent a man
from abandoning his wife,

leaving her with no means of income
for herself or her children.

They also prevented enslavement and abuse.

Before these laws were solidified,

elders in certain communities
would simply divvy up the young girls,

twelve and thirteen years old,
among the old men.

Thank you.

Dr. Klaywig, would you agree
that Mr. And Mrs. and…

Mrs. Richardson's relationship is unusual?

Yes, I would.

And would you agree that it's unusual
because it works?

-Well…
-DENISE: All parties are satisfied.

The children, as we've proven earlier,
are well-adjusted.

It does seem to work, doesn't it?

Yes, I suppose so.

DENISE: And wouldn't you agree that
when the polygamy laws were enacted,

it was under a different social
and economic construct?

Meaning?

Meaning that women
weren't allowed to work.

They were, in effect,
less powerful than they are today.

Their reliance on their husbands
was more substantial.

-One could agree…
-And for the record,

what is the divorce rate in this country?

-Approximately 43%.
-43%.

DENISE: And what are the statistics
on extramarital affairs?

Conservative estimates say
that about 60% of married men

and 40% of married women will have
an extramarital affair at some point.

So one could argue that we're already
practicing polygamy in this country.

We just haven't institutionalized it yet.

Objection, Your Honor.
Ms. Bauer is simply twisting statistics

to make a mockery
of the institution of marriage.

I'm simply drawing conclusions
based on fact.

-It's specious.
-It's not specious. It's logical.

You wouldn't understand.
You're not married.

Yeah, well, I don't see
a wedding ring on your finger.

-DENISE: Divorced.
-How long?

-One year.
-Two for me.

Counselors?

The case.

Of course.

Right. (clears throat)

Nothing further.

(comical stinger playing)

(snazzy stinger playing)

Wow.

Double wow.

-Go right ahead.
-Oh, no. You saw her first.

ALAN: You really don't mind?

DENNY: Please.

Wow.

-Hi. Nobody's sitting here.
-ALAN: Thank you.

My name's Alan Shore. What's yours?

Jessica.

What are you reading, Jessica?

-JESSICA: Uh, The Da Vinci Code.
-Ah.

Yeah, it's okay. Have you read it?

No, it's enough for me that Leonardo
was a brilliant painter and engineer

without turning him
into the Karl Rove of the 16th century.

(laughs)

Are you here with someone?

Alone.

I just, um, needed
to get outta Dodge and relax.

Only now I find myself very relaxed.

(chuckles) Well, two can play

dominoes for gangs allow freedom white.

I'm sorry?

The danger in whistling
cannot be undone by hybrid chatter.

It's simply…

orange above all.

(comical music playing)

Is this, like, a joke or…

Zebra.

(scoffs)

Waiter. I'm going to need another mojito.

(comical stinger playing)

Should I charge that to your room, sir?

Paisley.

(comical stinger playing)

ATTY. JOHN: Dr. Williams…

you're a clinical psychologist.

Why did Alcove Games hire you?

DR. WILLIAMS:
Their game was already popular.

But the company wanted to take the desire
to play the game to the next level.

In other words, change the motivation

from "I want to play this game"
to "I have to play this game."

ATTY. JOHN:
And how did they go about doing that?

DR. WILLIAMS:
It starts with causing an adrenaline rush.

The most effective way
to trigger that rush

is to make someone think
that they're going to die.

How do you know that?

DR. WILLIAMS:
We measure the effect in two ways.

The first is blink rate.

And second,
we monitor the amount of dopamine

that's produced while playing the game.

What is the significance of the dopamine?

Dopamine is a neurotransmitter.

It's also connected to the reinforcing
effects of drugs like cocaine

and amphetamines.

It's often called
the master molecule of addiction.

And why is that significant
in terms of this video game?

Playing this video game
is like receiving a jolt

equivalent to an injection
of amphetamines.

And my duty was to help create a game

that would maximize dopamine
output for the players.

You were deliberately trying to make
this game physically addictive?

Yes.

Dr. Williams, who was your supervisor
at Alcove Games?

Bob Kendall.

-And his title?
-Vice President of Marketing.

Of marketing.
Not of "Secret rain addiction research"

or something like that?

-Objection.
-Sustained.

So you worked in the marketing department
at Alcove Games?

-Yes.
-Now as a marketer,

whether you're selling iPods
or breakfast cereal or soft drinks,

isn't one of your primary concerns

"How do I get consumers
to buy my product?"

Of course.

You ever been employed by a heroin dealer?

-Excuse me?
-BRAD (chuckles): Of course you haven't.

A heroin dealer doesn't need
to hire a marketing department

because the product
they sell really is addictive

as opposed to video games,
which aren't, isn't that correct?

(yells) Objection!

Nothing further.

(tense stinger playing)

(upbeat stinger playing)

A.D.A. RICHARD: Ray Richardson
married two women at the same time.

No one denies that fact.

The defense argues that this polygamist
marriage is practical,

that it makes sense
in today's hectic world.

Well, the law against polygamy
is practical as well.

Say you're a man with good
health insurance and a generous nature.

Why not go down to a hospice

and marry 50 terminally ill women
so they can have your health benefits?

If a billionaire could marry
a thousand women

and claim them all as dependants
on his tax return

don't you think he would?

No, the law against polygamy doesn't just
make sense from a moral point of view.

It's practical as well.

Today, the traditional family is under
constant assault from every direction.

One refuge, maybe the last refuge
against that assault, is the law.

The law in this case states that marriage
is between one man and one woman.

Ray Richardson broke that law.

Make him pay for it.

Decades ago, the nuclear family implied

one man, one woman, and their offspring,

usually of the same race.

Today, there is no limit
to what loving families look like.

We have single mothers, single fathers,

two mommies, two daddies,
ex-wives, ex-in-laws, you name it.

If we're going to universally apply a law

we need to look at what it is
that law strives to protect.

Nobody can say that the Richardsons
are not a loving family.

They are honest and caring.

Their children are confident and kind.

With so many monogamous
couples breaking up,

this true family unit should be
held in high esteem.

Instead, we seek to destroy them

simply because they consensually engaged

in a loving relationship
that all parties wanted.

You've heard both Mrs. Richardsons.

This is a family unit that works.

If you put Ray Richardson in jail
when all he was

was a good husband and a good father,

you will accomplish the very harm
the anti-polygamy laws set out to prevent.

You will tear the Richardson family apart.

(pensive music playing)

You need to relax, you know?

ALAN: Obviously, Denny.

But telling me to do so
is like saying to a starving man,

"You just need money."

It doesn't exactly solve the problem.

Well, I got lots of money,
so if you're hungry,

just order up room service and say…
(melodiously) "Hello…"

Hey!

You just touched me and not in a nice way.

Could I please have a little privacy?

So you mix up your words.

Make it work for you. That's what I do.

Denny, get out. Leave the room
for a moment and let me be alone.

You're a moody traveler, aren't you?

Can you please put your narcissism
aside for one second

and try to imagine what it's like
for a person to be losing his mind?

I'm sorry.

It's just, I'd penciled in
sex today for 5:30,

and since I lost out on Jessica

I'll now have to have it alone,
which is fine, just…

predictable.

All this time, I thought you were
empathizing with me.

But you were sympathizing.

-I'm going home.
-Denny.

Don't talk to me.

Please don't leave.

DENNY (loudly): I said, do not talk to me.

It's just, that's my suitcase.

(comical music playing)

You're packing my things.

(door opens, slams shut)

ELLEN: He was 15.

He was about to get his learner's permit.

Mrs. Beller, I'm sorry
but I can't talk to you.

He was a scout too in this day and age
and he was going for Eagle.

-I'm sorry.
-You know that everything

that Dr. Williams said is true.

And the only thing that
this should be about is Wes

and the life that was taken from him,
but it's not.

It is about lawyers
and your talking and your arguing.

(yells) Why are you doing this?

You know what the truth is here.
You know it.

-So why are you doing it?
-Mrs. Beller.

-Mrs. Beller.
-You know what the truth is, don't you?

-Come on.
-You know! You know!

(somber music playing)

(Ellen weeps)

JUDGE ATKINSON: Mr. Foreman,
has the jury reached a unanimous verdict?

We have, Your Honor.

Will the defendant please rise?

What say you?

In the matter of the Commonwealth
vs Ray Richardson,

on the count of polygamy,

we the jury find Ray Richardson…

guilty.

(somber music playing)

JUDGE ATKINSON: The defendant
will be remanded into custody.

We are adjourned.

(gavel pounds)

(people murmuring)

This isn't over.

(indistinct chatter)

I'm so sorry.

ATTY. JOHN: When I was 15,
I smoked cigarettes for a week

because a friend of mine smoked.

I quit, never smoked again

and thank goodness it didn't hurt me.

But tobacco companies
have been found liable,

assessed penalties
in the millions of dollars

because cigarettes are addictive
and they do kill people.

Your Honor, with this case,

we are in the same position as the people

who first brought legal action against
the tobacco companies 40 years ago.

Lawsuit after lawsuit against
tobacco was thrown out of court.

How many people died as a result?

And now we got a boy
who died playing a video game.

A game scientifically constructed
to make him addicted to it.

Will everyone become addicted to it? No.

But other children will become addicted,
Your Honor.

And there will be other deaths!

It's time to let a jury decide

who's responsible for the death
of Wesley Beller.

Your Honor, I know I'm supposed
to be a dispassionate advocate

for my client's position but…

I have to tell you that this case,
it… it just makes me mad.

You see, I know someone
who is addicted to crystal meth.

This is a lethal drug.

It would've killed her
if she hadn't stopped using it.

So when I hear people talk about
being addicted to their Blackberry,

to soap operas, video games,

believe me, if anyone
who's addicted to crystal meth

could suddenly wave a magic wand

and be addicted to video games instead,
they would do it in a heartbeat.

Now you heard testimony that playing
this game raises your dopamine level.

We don't deny that, but the fact is

anything you enjoy doing
raises your dopamine levels.

Sports, chocolate, exercise,
sex, on and on and on.

When Einstein was developing
his theory of relativity

I'm sure that his dopamine level
was through the roof.

But where do we draw the line
between addiction and passion?

And the fact is, this case

is an insult to anyone
who has a real addiction

to a harmful substance.

(resolute music playing)

Now we are all sad
that Wesley Beller is dead…

but Alcove Games did not cause his death.

(pensive music playing)

(upbeat stinger playing)

After reviewing the papers
and the evidence presented,

I agree with Mr. Chase.

The defense's motion
for summary judgment is granted.

We're adjourned.

(people murmuring)

-Congratulations.
-Thank you.

-Brad.
-BRAD: Paul.

(Chris sighs deeply)

Man, I knew we'd win,
but you never really know till it's over.

BRAD: You bet.

-So champ, where can I buy you dinner?
-McCluskey's.

Best steaks in town.

(somber music playing)

Mrs. Beller.

I'm truly sorry about your son.

I'm sure you'll be sorry
about the next one, too.

(somber music intensifies)

(Denny groans)

(muffled) Oh, a little lower. Oh, yeah.

Just… a little bit lower.

(Denny groans)

Not quite low enough.

Oh!

Ah.

(Denny moans)

I have always empathized
with your "mad cow."

In a seismic shift of character, I was…

momentarily thinking only of myself.

As I said, Denny…

words are my friends.

To think that… I might suddenly…

DENNY: Why are you so anxious?

Here of all places
where people only rub you the right way?

ALAN: Work.

I'm nervous about work.

Why?

Denny, they could walk through my door
on any given day

and just fire me.

I've, uh, offended everybody
there is to offend.

I was hoping to at least ingratiate
myself with Shirley sexually, but…

she rebuffs me.

Robe, please.

Out, please.

Since when have you been
afraid of losing your job?

You relish the idea of being able
to walk at the drop of a hat.

Hell, you threaten to.

I guess I just don't feel
that freedom anymore.

Is it money?

-It's not money.
-What is it then?

I'd miss you, Denny.

You're a liar. You can't walk

because you think you have to be there
to protect me. To save me from myself.

That's certainly not it.

For the first time in your life,
you feel trapped.

And I'm the reason.

Why can't we just leave it at,
"I'd miss you, Denny"?

(loudly) Denny Crane
has never needed anybody.

(softly) And that's a tragedy.

One for which I empathize
as well as sympathize.

I will never be anybody's charity project.

If that has something to do
with our friendship…

(somber stinger playing)

…I no longer want it.

Have you thought for one second

about what you're doing
to the Richardson children?

Yeah, I'm about to make parent-teacher
night a lot less awkward.

I'm serious.

There's a new book out that says

that there's no such thing
as an amicable divorce.

That children are far more
traumatized by divorce

than they would be by growing up
in a house with a bad marriage.

Yeah, well, they didn't grow up
in my house.

And there's a study
from University College Dublin

that found that the effects
of divorce on children

are far more damaging
than the death of a parent.

Exactly how much time
do you spend on the internet?

You're not breaking up
some group of freaks here.

The Richardsons work.

That family unit works.

And they can remain a family…

as long as they're not married.

I know.

I spoke to Ray and his wives

and they have all agreed,
reluctantly, to get divorced

and live in sin.

All they ask is that
you recommend probation.

Denise, I…

As long as he quits breaking the law,

I have no interest in putting him in jail.

I'm sure we can make this work.

-Thank you.
-Yeah.

-(percussive music playing)
-(Denise clears throat)

Ha… Have you had dinner yet?

Um… it's four o'clock. (chuckles)

-Oh. Yeah.
-(laughs)

I'm sorry. I… I…

I haven't dated in so long, I…

Would you like to get some food
at a more appropriate time…

today?

Sure.

(giggles)

(happy stinger playing)

Congratulations.

Oh, thanks.

Looks like Chris wants us to handle
all his business from now on.

Good.

Uh, Paul, you didn't get a chance
to say hello to Rachel, did you?

I did.

She'll be getting out of rehab
in a few weeks.

Good for her.

Brad…

I want you to stay away from her.

I beg your pardon?

As part of
the 12-step program of recovery,

they strongly suggest that she not be
involved in any relationships for a year.

This allows her to focus
on mending her life,

and any distractions
could jeopardize that process

and make her more susceptible
to returning to drugs.

So, therefore…

I am strongly suggesting

that you stay away from her.

(somber music playing)

(mellow music playing)

(sighs)

Okay, so I worry about you a little.
Is that so bad?

With my night terrors, the clown phobia,

and now word salad,
you don't worry about me?

You know, strangers aren't always
gonna be there for us, Denny.

I'm gonna say this once.
I don't want it repeated.

I need friendship.

I especially need this one.

(chuckles) Did you not hear a word I said?

Heard every word. The thing isn't on.

(Denny laughs softly)

Is it really so horrible for people
to need each other?

Doesn't it give you comfort that I'm here
to cover for you when you slip?

That in the end
I'll be there to shoot you?

It comforts me that
you need the friendship.

I've thought about it. I agree.

You've survived here 100 years
or so without me.

I could leave and you'd go on just fine.

But for me to go on, Denny,

I need my balcony time
whether I work here or not.

You got it.

Typically, when I get fired,
I'm banned from the premises.

Service elevator.

I got the keys.

You think of everything.

Denny…

("Stand by Your Man"
by Tammy Wynette playing)

Crane.

You got it.

("Stand by Your Man"
by Tammy Wynette continues playing)

ALAN: Next on Boston Legal…

(whispers) I think Ivan is cheating.

Would it be awfully horrible of me
to ask you to talk to him?

I should have known, Ivan.

I know you.

Missy and I are done, Shirl. I swear.

-Perhaps I could join you as co-counsel.
-Bingo!

Okay, what happened as… When…

What happened next, exactly?

Mr. Mkeba, I'll be very frank with you.

I've never been involved in a case
that was going as badly as this one.

So, you're telling me to flee?

(theme music playing)

OLD WOMAN: You stinkah!