All language subtitles for Boston.Legal.S02E14.2005.Disney+.WEB-DL.1080p.H264.DDP-HDCTV_track6_[eng]

BRAD: Previously on Boston Legal...

Take all the money out of the drawer,
and put it in a bag.

She already murdered a man.

Please let this one get away.

I do this for you.
You do something for me.

Get me an interview
at Crane, Poole & Schmidt.

You don't get to set all
the rules in this relationship.

I'm sorry.

But if you hit me or anything,

I might literally die.

Your case is dismissed.
You're free and clear.

I found you a job.

Come and get it.

-So I've met this girl.
-You did?

Irma Levine.

You don't fool me.

She gives me a bit of trouble.

(soft music playing)

(cell phone ringing)

-Hello.
-Ms. Levine. Alan Shore.

Hello, Mr. Shore.

-Uh, is there something I can do for you?
-There is.

And let me preface my remarks by saying,

while we don't know each other very well,

and while I'd rather be
speaking to you in person

so as to better gauge your reaction,

uh, Ms. Levine...

I've been having certain fantasies
about you.

(pensive music)

Intense...

unabashedly sexual fantasies.

And I thought we could meet
to discuss them.

Did you get that?

Um... One drink.

(romantic music playing)

Ms. Levine.

Mr. Shore.

I took the liberty of ordering champagne.

Thank you.

Hmm.

(Irma inhales deeply)

So...

these fantasies...

They're many... and varied, actually.

But now that you're here, they seem

a very poor substitute for reality.

Well, I'll admit,

I've been having some fantasies of my own.

Have you? Tell.

I walk into a building.

My old high school gym
and you follow me inside.

And there are these booths set up.

It's election day.

Why not?

I go into a very small booth,
and you follow me in,

and your hand, like the breeze,

reaches up my inner thighs.

And I turn around and I say,
"It's not right."

And you say…

Shut up and let's do this.

And you say, "What's not right?"

And I say,
"It's not right that I should vote,

and my vote doesn't count
due to redistricting."

What?

All of our elected officials

are redrawing the district voting lines

to tilt the elections in their favor.

Our officials
are stealing our country, Alan,

and we need to stop them.
And I may need a lawyer.

And I'm guessing you're not
looking for a naked one.

This could be the worst threat
to democracy ever, Alan,

and no one is paying attention.

We're gonna make them pay attention.

WOMEN (in unison): Make our votes count!

Make our votes count!

Make our votes count!

Make our votes count!

-Make our votes count!
-(siren blaring)

Make our votes count!

Oddly, this was one of my fantasies.

And the chilly weather
is certainly an added bonus.

POLICEMAN: Pack it up, ladies.

-Pack it up.
-WOMEN: Make our votes count!

Make our votes count...

All right, ladies, that's it. Let's go.

-WOMAN 1: What do we do now?
-IRMA: Okay, everybody stay calm.

Alan. Alan.

Yes, no problem.

-Uh, uh...
-WOMEN: Make our votes count!

I forgot what I was going to say.

Oh, yes. And I say this
with great reluctance.

-Here.
-(sighs)

Don't answer any questions.

I'll be down to bail you out
as soon as I can.

-(mouthing) Okay.
-WOMEN: Make our votes count!

Make our votes count!

Make our votes count!

(theme music)

And I'm not sucking up.

Saving that boy the way you did?

You're a real local hero.

And a media darling.

The cameras loved you.

(giggling)

Thanks.

Alan Shore has said
some very good things about you.

Well, he's an excellent attorney.

Mm-hmm.

So tell me, why do you want to work
at Crane, Poole & Schmidt?

The money.

I've served for six years
at the DA's office,

working 80-hour weeks,
eating dinner out of to-go tins.

My furniture is from my parent's garage,

and I buy my clothes
from Janny's dress-for-less.

Now I could tell you some crap
about wanting new and exciting challenges,

and blah, blah, blah.
But why not just be honest?

It's the money.

What kind of business
could you bring to the firm?

Well, I made a lot of contacts
when I was doing white-collar crime.

I also know a lot of cops
and detectives and inspectors.

And, of course, I am wired
into the DA's office.

Uh-huh.

That's the website for a ski resort.

-Yeah. It's Whistler. Do you ski?
-No.

And it's really a shame,

'cause here I am freezing
my butt off on Mount Pendejo.

(quirky music)

Adiós, muchacha.

(paper shredder whirring)

Mr. Hopper has finally come around.

It took us a long time to get him here,
but he's willing to settle.

I'm thinking of getting them
to rename lung cancer after me.

Daniel, are you listening to me?

Oh, think about it.
You know, it makes sense.

Uh, the Lou Gehrig thing?

We're going in now.

Good morning, Samantha. Um...

Is Mr. Hopper in the restroom?

No. His wife just called.

He died this morning.

(somber stinger)

(upbeat music)

I can't believe you did this to me.

-What did I do?
-This.

WOMEN (on TV): Make our votes count!

REPORTER: It's complete chaos out there.

I've never seen anything like it.

-What started out as...
-(laughs) It was quite a scene.

...quickly turned ugly...

Oh, look! It's me.

DENNY: I can see that.

You were there in a sea of breasts,

and you didn't invite me.

It wasn't a sex thing, Denny.

This was a political protest
about a serious issue.

I heard there were 200 women.

That's 400 breasts,

and you kept them all to yourself.

I have to get to an arraignment.

-The topless woman?
-ALAN: Yes.

-I'll go with you.
-It's in court.

-She'd be completely dressed.
-(groans)

Why are they pixilating them?

This is a cable news channel.

You could show breasts on cable.

-(door thuds)
-(Garrett grunts)

Yes, may I help you, dear?

This is my office.

Oh, I needed a base of operations

for my sandwich cart business.

-But I…
-You're a first year, right?

Well, it goes like this:

named partner, senior partner,

junior partner, senior associates,

sandwich lady, xerox guy,
janitor, first years.

-But I…
-I'm on the phone, dear.

Oh.

CATHERINE:
Did she know that when she asked him?

(laughingly) Oh, no!

The lawsuit's been dropped.

The claim died with Hopper,

and the wife decided not
to pursue it any further.

I want to see that she gets
the original settlement offer.

You don't have to do that, Daniel.

Sure I do.

Hey, you busy tomorrow night?

Uh, no. Why? What's going on?

I thought you might want
to go to a funeral.

-Hopper's?
-No. Mine.

We'll go in my limo. I got a TV,

I got the uppy-downy thing
so we could make out

and the driver can't see us.

Uh, yeah, I love making out
on the way to funerals,

especially with the guest of honor.

Well, what's wrong with wanting
to see your own funeral?

Besides, if you wait till your dead,

you don't get to hear all the great
things people say about you.

Think about it?

DENNY: Daniel!

-Denny.
-Looking good.

Thank you. You want to come to my funeral?

-Oh, funerals are sad.
-Oh, this one will be fun.

-Well, count me in.
-Tomorrow night.

No can do. Busy. Rain check?

Absolutely.

He's a keeper.

(comical stinger playing)

-Denny's great.
-Yep.

He doesn't hear a thing
anyone says, does he?

Nope.

Ms. Raines, how was your interview
at Crane, Poole & Schmidt?

Short.

CLERK: Docket number 667065,

Commonwealth vs. Irma Levine.

-One count of disturbing the peace.
-Your honor, at this time,

the people would like
to amend the complaint.

We're charging Ms. Levine
with penal code 272, section 16.

Open and gross lewdness
and lascivious behavior.

Are you out of your mind?

How do you plead, counselor?

Time out, Your Honor.
That charge is a felony.

This woman was arrested
as part of a political protest.

There's nothing lewd
and lascivious about it.

Read the statute. She violated it.

This is absurd.

If she's convicted, she'll be forced
to register as a sex offender.

JUDGE WINTERS:
Save it for the jury, counselor.

-How do you plead?
-Even more not guilty

than we were prepared
to plead a moment ago.

JUDGE WINTERS: Conference with the clerk
to set the trial date.

-(gavel pounds)
-Next case.

Why are you doing this?

I'm late.

There were 200 women arrested that day.

Are you going to charge them all
as sex offenders?

We're gonna see how this case goes first.

(tense stinger playing)

(loudly) What the hell happened
in your interview with Holly Raines?

I don't like your tone.

And you're square. Game over.
Now what the hell happened?

Didn't like her.
She was only here for the money.

Brad, everyone from the senior partners

to the assistant janitor
is only here for the money!

Okay, look. You had an affair with Tara.

You paid your assistant to sleep with you.
I'm a partner now.

I'm not gonna let you use this firm
as an escort service.

This was not about sex.

It was about bribery.

I had to offer her an interview
to get Catherine Piper off.

Now you've made her mad,

and she's taking it out
on another client of mine.

What the hell are you doing?

Strengthening my quads. Ski season.

(quirky stinger playing)

(upbeat music playing)

They say it was caused by stress
from the first Gulf War.

But whatever the cause,
Brad Chase does indeed

suffer from a severe case
of irritable bowel syndrome.

And his gastroenterologist has told him

to take up sports that strengthen

the gluteus maximus muscles
to control things back there.

And this is the first I've heard of it,

but apparently, the high altitude
of the ski slopes

is also good in helping to prevent...

leakage.

Something to do with the thin air.

So long story short,

I will get you another interview
with a name partner.

-Thank you.
-You're welcome.

Now can you please charge Irma Levine
with something reasonable?

Or better yet, just drop the whole thing?

Can't do it.

I'll never be able to guarantee
you a job, but I promise…

I know you think this is about me
being mad at Crane, Poole & Schmidt,

but it isn't.

This comes straight from my boss.

Why does the District Attorney
care about this?

He wants to set an example

to discourage these kinds of protests.

Ms. Raines, if you convict
Irma of this charge,

she'll have to register as a sex offender.

She'll be lumped into the same group
as rapists and child molesters

all because of a political protest.

How can this seem
even remotely fair to you?

It's out of my hands.

Parsons trial.
We're trying to plead this out,

so I want you to research
any cases involving deaths

-resulting from marital disputes.
-I'm on it.

I do have a slight problem.

There's an old woman in my office.

Pardon?

-The sandwich lady.
-Catherine?

She's taken over my office.

Am I to understand that you,
a lawyer working at one

of the most prestigious firms
in the Boston area,

cannot negotiate with the sandwich lady

to get her out of your office?

Well, of course I can.

I just don't want to take up
the firm's billable time.

You think this will take time?

Well, no, sir. I'll take care of it.

Forget I said anything. Please.

(quirky stinger playing)

ALAN: Shirley,
just the person I needed to see.

I'm in a terrible bind,

and I need to borrow your breasts.

All right, but have them home by 11:00.

I'm sure you've followed
Irma Levine's case in the news.

-I have.
-Then you know the D.A.,

or whoever's pressuring him,

is attempting to suppress
political protests.

Naked ones, yes.

This is not a small issue, Shirley.

This type of thing is going on
all over the country.

They've banned roadside parking
and camping

in Crawford, Texas,
to stop people from protesting the war.

If you criticize this administration,

they just might reveal
your wife is a CIA agent.

Congress is creating a law that forces
people with political blogs

to either register with the government
or face potential prosecution.

Little by little,
people are being silenced.

I need your stature, expertise…

Cut the crap, Alan.

It's about boobs,
and you need a nice pair at the table.

You are absolutely delicious

when you cut to the heart
of the matter like that.

They are throwing
everything at me, Shirley.

I need to throw everything back.

I'll think about it.

Think fast.

(Shirley sighs)

If I agree to help you, one condition.

I assume during the course of this case,

breasts will be referred to
in many colorful ways.

-One would hope.
-Personally, however,

I don't ever want to hear them
referred to as "hooters."

I hate that word.

Oh, and this is a little off-topic,

but I hate the word "underpants," too.

If I can have your breasts,
I promise not to say "hooters."

Thank you, Alan.

And as for "underpants,"
if you promise not to wear…

Goodbye, Alan.

(quirky stinger playing)

We advised her to put her clothes back on,

but she and her cohorts insisted
on marching around topless.

-HOLLY: And, officer Minden...
-District Attorney's here.

HOLLY: ...exactly how many times
did you advise...

ALAN: Scott Bodnar.

Politicians are drawn to cameras

-like flies are drawn to...
-Politicians.

And what was your reaction
to the defendant's toplessness?

MINDEN: I was shocked, offended.

-HOLLY: Were you the only one offended?
-No, ma'am.

We've received numerous
complaints from the community

about the defendant's behavior.

Thank you.

Ms. Levine and her "cohorts,"

as you so colorfully referred to them,

were there as part of
a political protest, correct?

-So she says.
-"So she says."

-She was holding this sign?
-Yes.

Not exactly the stuff
erections are made of.

Objection.

Sustained.

Isn't it true
that more people paid attention

once the protestors took off their tops?

They drew a bigger crowd, that's for sure.

Thank you.

Uh, one last thing.

As a beat cop who regularly
pursues rapists,

murderers and other violent criminals,

and also as one who protects
the rights of the KKK

and other provocative groups
who are legally permitted to protest,

can you sit up there and honestly tell us

you were offended by a group
of bare-breasted protestors?

(pensive music playing)

They broke the law, Mr. Shore.

I find that offensive.

(quirky stinger playing)

(upbeat stinger playing)

Shocked. Shocked and appalled

that people would so blatantly
flaunt our obscenity laws...

Whore.

Any place there's a camera,
there's Bodnar having sex with it.

Where have you been keeping your head?

Around. I didn't see you
on the balcony the other night.

Bev and I had something to do.
Then we did it again.

D.A. SCOTT: The good people of Boston
elected me to protect them...

Alan?

I heard that you asked Shirley
to be part of your dream team.

Why her and not me?

Shirley has breasts.

Ours are just beginning to develop.

You're starting this case off
on the wrong foot.

-How so?
-It's got everything.

Sex, politics, everything
but one key ingredient…

Denny Crane. I'm in.

Denny, you don't even know
what this case is about.

It doesn't matter.

I don't have to know what it's about
in order to try it.

(resolute music playing)

I want you out of my office.
I'm an attorney.

I graduated top of my class
at Suffolk University Law School.

I passed the bar exam the very first try,

and I was recruited by the best firms.

I killed a man.

(quirky music playing)

(background chatter)

I've seen those on TV.

D.A. SCOTT:
No, I do not believe the jury pool is...

There's that whore.

...cannot get a fair trial...

(loudly) Watch out, everybody.
The real whore is here.

Denny!

I don't have a tranquilizer gun,
so I'm going to have to reason with you.

We agreed you could be on this case

only if you don't speak.

Speak in the courtroom.

Besides, it's opportunities like this

that made Crane, Poole & Schmidt...
(inhales deeply)

...Crane, Poole & Schmidt.

D.A. SCOTT: ...should be allowed
to disregard the obscenity laws...

Denny Crane. Ten cents a dance.

-Hey, Scott.
-Denny.

I'd just like to say
that most of us begin life

suckling on a breast,
and if we're lucky,

we end life suckling on a breast.

So anybody who is against breasts

is against life itself.

(whimsical music playing)

Denny Crane.

(reporters clamoring)

REPORTER 1: Mr. Crane, excuse me?

REPORTER 2: Sir, any comments?

SHIRLEY: Ms. Levine,
can you tell me what this is?

It's a map of the Boston area
congressional district.

This... is District 4.

How would you describe its shape?

IRMA: It's shaped like a large intestine.

SHIRLEY: Now why would we, as a people,

choose to shape a congressional
district like a large intestine?

We don't. Our elected officials do.

IRMA: Say you voted for the incumbent
congressman last election,

and I live on the opposite side
of the street,

and I voted against him,

his party can draw the line
down the middle of the street

to include you and exclude me.

SHIRLEY: Can they really do that?

With computer modeling,
they can be very exact.

This isn't about boobs at all.

It's foreplay.

ALAN: Wait your turn.

Uh, why did you start this group?

To protest the war.

IRMA: We had our shirts on then.

There were nearly 100,000
of us in the streets.

A sea of people.

But the local news reported that
only a few thousand showed up.

It's as if our protest didn't even happen.

So what did you do next?

IRMA: We continued to protest,
with little effect,

and we eventually learned
that in order to get

your message heard,
you had to shock people.

You had fantasies about this college girl?

She's nothing but a talker.

(sighs)

Moment please, Your Honor.

Denny, we're trying to work here.

Give him your keys to play with.

And finally, Ms. Levine,
what do you do for a living?

I run a women's shelter.

SHIRLEY: And if you are convicted

and placed on the state's
sexual offenders registry,

what happens to you?

I would lose everything.

My job, my home,
my standing in the community.

SHIRLEY: So if one wanted
to intimidate people

from exercising
their First Amendment rights,

this would be a good way to do it.

Objection!

Nothing further.

Ms. Levine, your laudable work
for battered women notwithstanding,

isn't it correct that you were arrested

only when you illegally bared
your breasts?

-Yes.
-You could have continued

to make that same statement
while keeping your clothes on?

IRMA: But the message wouldn't have
gotten the same coverage.

So it's your contention that
it's all right to break laws

so long as you're trying
to get a message across?

I think that's a gross exaggeration.

Our community has set standards and laws

for what it deems to be indecent behavior.

What our elected officials
are doing is indecent.

My breasts are not.

You intentionally broke that law,
didn't you?

I took my top off.

In many cultures,

a woman's bared breasts
are not considered indecent.

HOLLY: But we're in America.

In America, we're allowed
to set our own laws, are we not?

Yes.

Nothing further.

(solemn music playing)

♪ It's a dead man's party ♪

♪ Who could ask for more ♪

♪ Everybody's coming, leave your... ♪

Your funeral's in a bar?

Well, funeral homes close too early.

And they don't have beer.

Hmm.

Nice outfit, but I do believe
I said hockey casual.

(Denise chuckles)

I'm feeling a little like Alice
down the rabbit hole right now,

so I'm just gonna go with it.

That's an excellent attitude.

My family is gonna love you.

Your family?

It's my funeral.

(all cheering)

DANIEL: I'm on it. I'm on it. I'm on it.
I'm on it. I'm on it. I'm on it.

DENISE: Go, go!

Go, spinny man! Go, spinny man!

DANIEL: Where'd you get the lingo from?

Yes!
(laughs)

Ha!

No, I had to let him win.
It's his funeral.

Oh, you got beat by a girl
and a dead guy. Deal with it.

(laughter)

If I could have your attention?

We have gathered here tonight
to pay our final respects to...

that guy who is eating the Buffalo wings.

(all laughing)

I know we look at Daniel,

and everyone here
is thinking the same thing:

"How much is he leaving me in the will?"

(all chattering and laughing)

No, seriously, after our folks passed,

Daniel was the one there for us.

He always has been.

And he always will be.

To you, bro.

I love you.

ALL: To Daniel.

Now let's have some Zamboni cake, huh?

ALL: Yeah...

PATRICK: Who wants some zamboni?

-(woman laughs)
-PATRICK: Good.

Here we go. I couldn't hear ya...

Oh, no. Oh, no.
It's no problem. It's no problem.

Right down the "b," brother.

-PATRICK: Right down the "b."
-DANIEL: Right down the "b."

None for him.
(laughing)

(indistinct chatter)

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

You know you're wrecking my funeral.

I know.

It's just... we're here,

and it's you and your friends
and your family.

And it's like a beginning, only you're…

DANIEL: It sucks.

That's it.
(sighs)

It just sucks.

(somber music playing)

This is… this is good for you...

And everyone in there is unbelievable.

And I have been trying. I really have.

(sobbingly)
But...

you're dying,
and it's eating me up inside.

You go back into your party.

(somber music playing)

(upbeat music playing)

It's time for court, Denny.

I'm not going.

You took me to the circus,
and you didn't show me any elephants.

I'm sorry,

but I am gonna call the DA to the stand.

Oh, that'll be fun, but it's not enough.

Be careful of Bodnar.

I'm not sure you want
that whore as an enemy.

By definition, he's my enemy.

(upbeat stinger playing)

-He can't call the District Attorney.
-I just did.

He was never included on our witness list.

The Commonwealth has not had
ample time to prepare.

Your Honor, his testimony is relevant.

This case is all about
the railroading of my client's

First Amendment rights, and Mr. Bodnar

seems to be conductor
on the said railroad.

-It's a cheap stunt.
-Enough.

I'm certain District Attorney Bodnar
can take care of himself.

I'll allow his testimony.

Uh, District Attorney Bodnar. Alan Shore.

Uh, before we start,
I just want to say I love those mailers

that you send out come election time.

We're all inspired
by the story of your roots.

Your father, the Czechoslovakian cobbler,

your mother,
the Czechoslovakian cobbler's wife.

I also want to thank you
for taking the time to be here.

You're a busy man
keeping criminals off the streets,

fighting for truth, justice
and the American way.

And yet you make time to be here...

every day.

-This case must be very important to you.
-It is.

I guess the question on all of our minds
is why?

D.A. SCOTT: Well, Mr. Shore, as you know,
this was a defiance of the law

on a sizable scale.

It was extremely offensive
to a large number of people.

And there were a lot
of TV cameras out there...

and in here!

The point is, Ms. Levine's message

was getting across, wasn't it?

That's why this case is so important.

That's what's so frightening to you.

The truth was getting out.

The truth about the stranglehold
you and other politicians

have on our political system, correct?

Mr. Shore, I was elected
to represent the community

and to act in their best interest.

People have a right to political speech,
no matter how extreme.

They do not have the right
to break the law

with lewd and lascivious behavior

-on the streets of Boston.
-Yes…

Mr. Shore, you asked me a question.
Please allow me to finish.

I don't know what society
you live in, but our society

has made it clear
where it stands on indecency.

If you're looking for a litmus test,
just ask Janet Jackson.

(quirky stinger playing)

Well, congratulations, Alan.

Your grilling of the DA
on the stand has really paid off.

The plea bargain we had set
in the Parsons case suddenly got rejected.

Gee, I wonder why.

Mr. Parsons did kill his wife.
Maybe he should go to jail.

We are now known in the DA's office

as "those SOBs
from Crane, Poole & Schmidt."

And for what?
You're still losing this case.

Well, if that's all they're calling us,
clearly, I've not done my job.

(upbeat stinger playing)

I'm here. What do you want?

Brad, would you agree that you owe me one
for the egregious way

you handled the Holly Raines interview?

Alan, her attitude was…

The important thing is
I agree that you owe me one.

Just follow my lead.

Mr. Bodnar, we're gonna lose this case.

Yes, you are.

And I don't know what to do about it.

We could get through the appeals process,

but so many of our fine judges

are not into the First Amendment
these days.

And if by some miracle
we make it to the Supreme Court...

(laughs) ...well, they're not that tickled
with the First Amendment either.

So, as you can see, I am in a pickle.

You didn't need to come down here
to explain that to me.

No. I know.

But I did need to explain this.

It's... Brad here.

What about Brad here?

He's decided he's going to run
against you for District Attorney.

Really?

Yes.

I mean, I think he's a natural
for politics. Don't you?

Look at him, gorgeous.

ALAN: And tough on crime.

The man single-handedly
rescued a kidnapped child.

The Republican Party is bound to love him

because he's so demonstrably pro-torture.

A man who's not afraid
to get his hands dirty

while he cuts off the fingers of others.

Oh, you're a Republican,
aren't you, Scott?

-Mr. Shore…
-I wonder who your party

would rather have carrying its standard.

You? Or Captain Handsome?

Brad, stand up and take your jacket off.

Yeah.

ALAN: Ooh. (exclaims)

Uh, put it over the shoulder.

Wow.

I think this job is about more than looks.

Well, you'd have to think that,
wouldn't you?

I notice the polls don't have you doing
too well with women voters.

You are aware my client runs
a shelter for battered women?

You think persecuting her
will play well with the distaff side?

-Are you trying to threaten me?
-ALAN: Not me.

It's my friend here.

This case has him so incensed,
doesn't it, Brad?

Yes.

It's inspired him to pluck his hat

from those beautiful blond locks
and toss it into the ring.

I can just see the two of you
in a televised debate…

Well, really, I can only see him,

because you seem to fade
into the background.

Tell me, Brad, how many
of your clients are millionaires?

-All of them.
-ALAN: Rich coffers to draw from.

It would be much nicer,
wouldn't it, Mr. Bodnar,

to run unopposed?

Well, you've both made
some extremely valid points,

and I think goldilocks here
would be a formidable opponent.

I look forward to the campaign.

And, Mr. Shore,
I look forward to seeing you in court.

(dramatic stinger playing)

Brad, you know you don't
actually have to run.

On the other hand,
you have made a powerful enemy,

and I think you've learned
a valuable lesson

about following my lead.

Thanks, douchebag.

DANIEL: Hey.

Hi.

So... how was the rest of your funeral?

Oh, it was great.

I got totally bombed.

So are... are we okay?

Daniel, I am the worst coward there is.

Yeah, well, we all voted you that
when we were playing quarters.

No...

I can't keep going.

Okay, time-out.

Um, don't decide anything yet, okay?

Because, uh, I got something.

Look, I'm going to Switzerland.

They've got this experimental
treatment in St. Moritz

that I scammed my way into.

And I don't know if it's gonna work,

but I figure it's worth a shot.

And if it does,

then I'll be back.

And then decide, okay?

Okay.

(soft music playing)

You're going off like a dog, aren't you?

What do you mean?

When a dog knows it's gonna die,

it goes off into the woods by itself,
and, uh...

rich guys go to St. Moritz.

They got beautiful woods there.

Yes, they do.

I'll see you, Guido.

See ya.

Ms. Levine took her shirt off.
That is not in dispute.

And she did it to make a political point.

Now people make political points every day
on TV, in the press, on the internet,

expressing opinions of all kinds
without breaking the law.

For Ms. Levine,

our country's guarantee
of free speech wasn't enough.

Our guarantee of freedom
of assembly wasn't enough.

And apparently, our guarantee
of freedom of the press wasn't enough.

None of these freedoms
were enough for Ms. Levine

and the point she had to make.

No. She had to break the law

by violating
our community standards of decency.

No one violated Ms. Levine's
freedom of speech.

Ms. Levine violated our community laws.

Don't let her get away with it.

"Jake Watson, convicted
of molesting an eight-year-old girl.

Served two years,

then convicted of molesting
an 11-year-old girl.

John Bowers, convicted
of multiple counts of rape.

Calvin Stephens, convicted
of sodomizing and molesting

over a dozen boys, ages six to ten."

This is a list of registered
sex offenders.

This is the list that the prosecution
thinks Ms. Levine should be put on.

This is the company
they think she belongs in.

Do you?

Do any of you think

that a woman who bared her breasts
at a political rally...

poses the same risk to the community
as rapists and child molesters?

Of course you don't.

And I'll let you in on a little secret...

neither do they.

You see, they arrested Ms. Levine
and the other women before

and charged them
with disturbing the peace.

When a woman is arrested
for sunbathing topless in a public park,

she's either charged
with disturbing the peace

or, more likely, the cop says,
"Hey, lady, put your shirt back on,"

and then he goes off
to deal with real crime.

So why is Ms. Levine different?

Because she was protesting redistricting.

Now I know that may sound
arcane and theoretical to you,

but I assure you that
to the politicians in power,

there is nothing more dear
to their hearts.

If Ms. Levine had written
a scholarly article about redistricting

for an obscure journal
that nobody would ever have read,

the District Attorney
wouldn't have cared at all.

But she and the other women
made their argument topless.

People paid attention because,
let's face it,

when 200 women take their tops off,
people are going to look.

But after they've gawked for a minute,

they might ask,
"Why have they taken their tops off?"

And then they might find out
it's because of redistricting.

And then they might say,
"Well, what is that?"

And then when they find out,
they might say,

"Oh, my God! Our politicians
have hijacked our democracy."

Prosecutors charged Ms. Levine
for "Violating our community standards."

This is Boston.

Home of the tea party.

Home of the people
and the spirit of freedom

that literally created this country.

Our community standard is that...

we won't be silenced
by the King of England,

much less a District Attorney.

Our community standard is that
we speak the truth to power.

And if those in power don't like it...

Too bad.

CATHERINE: Oh, look at you.
This is terrible.

I'll tell you what I'll do, Gary.

Garrett.

I'm not in the office all the time.

I mean, I'm very busy
over lunch and morning break

and afternoon coffee.

That would leave three or four hours

where I won't need the office at all.

Make yourself at home.

Uh...

-thanks.
-So you can be in there all during lunch

when you eat your two sandwiches.

Two sandwiches?

Oh, yes, you'll be buying
two sandwiches off the cart.

The ones that aren't moving.

Usually it's liverwurst and tongue. Bye.

(comical rock stinger playing)

Joke's on you.
I like tongue.

Will the defendant please rise?

Has the jury reached a unanimous verdict?

We have, Your Honor.

What say you?

FOREPERSON: In the matter of
the Commonwealth vs. Irma Levine,

on the count of open and gross lewdness
and lascivious behavior,

we find the defendant...

not guilty.

JUDGE WINTERS:
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,

we thank you for your service.

-Court's adjourned.
-(gavel pounds)

(crowd murmuring)

-Congratulations.
-IRMA: Oh.

I think your closing
made all the difference.

-Thank you very much.
-You're welcome.

And about your protest.
Next time, try pasties.

(laughs)

(sighs deeply)
Well, Alan...

Thank you.

You're not actually going to say goodbye
to me in a public courtroom?

Walk me out?

-(elevator dings)
-(reporters clamoring)

Excuse me, this elevator is taken.

(clamoring continues)

(sighs)

(elevator alarm bell ringing)

Oh, my.

Suddenly I'm feeling all of the hope
and the anticipation

and ever-so-slight trepidation
of election day.

("For Once in My Life"
by Michael Bublé playing)

♪ For once in my life ♪

♪ I've got someone who needs me ♪

♪ Someone I've needed so long ♪

♪ For once, unafraid,
I can go where life leads me ♪

♪ And somehow I know I'll be strong ♪

♪ For once I can say
This is mine, you can't take it ♪

-(elevator alarm bell ringing)
-♪ As long as I know I've got love ♪

♪ I can make it ♪

♪ For once in my life ♪

♪ I've got someone who needs me ♪

♪ For once in my life ♪

♪ I've got someone who needs me ♪

(both groan)

What is this?

Diet scotch. It's Bev's idea.

She wants me to slim down for the wedding.

(both groan)

I've been wondering, Denny.
Are we drifting?

Drifting?

-Apart.
-Apart?

-Yes.
-No!

Good.

(mellow music playing)

(Alan groans)

I'm gonna miss you, Denny,
once you're married.

I'm not going anywhere.

I've been married. Of course you are.

-(Denny groans)
-Hmm.

DENISE: Next on Boston Legal...

I'm a partner!

I wouldn't trust an associate
with a case this important.

Step away from the ventilator. Move away.

DENNY: She asked for you especially.

Now why would she do that?

SHIRLEY: Amelia is 18.

She was assaulted and raped two months ago

and taken to the nearest hospital.

My first thought was
the morning-after pill.

Dr. Tusten said that that wasn't an option
at a Catholic-affiliated hospital.

PHYLLIS: Marissa can't smile.

ALAN: Marissa has a disability,

and you and your institution
are discriminating against her.

We have every right to discriminate
against a disabled student.

Oh, my God. You're a lawyer.

(theme music playing)