All language subtitles for Boston.Legal.S02E06.2005.Disney+.WEB-DL.1080p.H264.DDP-HDCTV_track6_[eng]

(suspenseful music)

You wanna run that by me again?

We have a group of complaining parents.

(dramatic music)

DENISE:
They're suing their elementary school

over the Halloween pageant.

In particular...

they don't like the witch.

(dramatic music)

There are two groups of parents
who are upset.

One is Christian.
The other group is, uh...

Well...

(dramatic music)

Yes?

(dramatic music)

Witches.

Did you say witches?

I said witches.

Which group does the firm represent?

Well, actually, both.

(dramatic music)

Candy corn?

(theme music)

It's just, though they are together

for the purpose of this motion,

they're not so much together.

And I think having two lawyers

in case there are conflicts...

Yes. And you think

the senior partner of the firm

should be doing this because...

(Denise sighs)

It'll be fun.

Plus, you promised
I'd get to try cases with you.

(playful music)

Do you know your briefcase is smoking?

Tis the season, Brad.
Bubble, bubble, toil and so forth.

This is a law firm!

Thank you for that.

Mr. Shore. My name is Garrett Wells.

Sounds like an old western town,
Garrett Wells.

GARRETT: I'm an associate here.

Yes, you're the one
who sleeps with paralegals.

And this is, uh...

The paralegal.

Can we talk to you for a second?

You are talking.

In private, please.

Let me put this out.

My little brother, Jeffrey,
signed up for the National Guard.

He fulfilled his service contract in Iraq.

He was supposed to come home.

The army kept him there
under the Stop-Loss program.

There weren't enough soldiers
on the ground,

so they put him in a position
that he never trained for.

It got him killed.

I realize as a matter of law
that the army is immune from these suits.

There is probably no way to win this.
That's why we came to you.

You, um,

have a high success rate
for unconventional trials.

That's only because
the conventional trials won't have me.

What are you looking to gain from this?

I'm not sure.

I go home and cry every night,

until I start to scream.

Maybe...

I just want someone to hear my screams.

(somber music)

(upbeat music)

It promotes a specific religion.

Ah! Shirley Schmidt,
Grace and Bob Mathias.

They're, uh...
(stuttering)

The Christians.

And Evelyn and Sam Sawtelle.

The witches.

-Wiccans.
-Sorry. (clears throat)

As I understand it,
the four of you want to stop

the school celebration of Halloween.

-It's satanic.
-That's not the position we're taking.

I mean, we're not allowed
to have a Christmas concert

because the whole Church and State thing.

-But every year…
-At our children's school…

-A public school.
-Paid for with our taxes.

They have a Halloween pageant.

It's a pageant, is it?

Where not only are images
of witches prominently displayed,

but the principal of the school…

-EVELYN: Ms. Berleth.
-GRACE: ...dresses up like a witch.

And she cackles.

-She cackles?
-Blood-curdling cackles.

We find the whole thing
horribly offensive.

Because?

EVELYN: Ms. Schmidt, as a Wiccan couple,

it's hard enough raising our daughter
in this culture

without stereotypical images
holding her up for ridicule.

I mean, I ask you, are we green?
Do we have warts?

GRACE: And as a Christian couple,
we resent having our faith marginalized

while Satan worshipers openly…

Witches don't worship Satan, Grace.
(chuckles)

Promoted... specifically.

-GRACE: It's not fair.
-It's defamatory.

You can see while both couples
are on the same side,

we have competing claims.

But we're putting our differences aside.

For the greater good.

(quirky music)

How could they possibly file papers
so thick, so fast?

Clearly, the government was ready
for this very case,

just as clearly
they want to shut it down fast.

So what happens?

Well, instead of responding in kind,

I plan to ask the judge
for an evidentiary hearing.

My feeling is,
after listening to you, Cassie,

he'll be less inclined
to just summarily dismiss the claim.

Okay.

It also might help
if your parents could be there.

Well, my parents aren't with me on this.

They think I'm dishonoring
my brother's memory and his sacrifice.

Okay.

We filed in State Court
under the State Torts Claim Act

and miraculously,
a judge agreed to hear us.

The bad news is we drew a peculiar judge.

In 26 years on the bench,

I have never seen a case so ridiculous.

It nauseates me.

Your Honor is being a little dramatic.

He was a soldier in a war.
What's more, he enlisted.

Private Elliot's tour of duty was over.
He should not have been in Iraq.

ALAN: He enlisted in part
because he was fraudulently recruited.

Moreover, the Army then put him in a job
for which he was not trained,

and which resulted in his death.

Move to dismiss!

The United States Army
is immune from this sort…

Not to claims based on fraud,
which this is.

What if the families of every soldier
killed in combat decided to sue?

You'd have a logistical nightmare.

Fortunately, we're only dealing
with one person suing here,

and if you're predisposed to kick it,
so be it.

But at least take an hour to hear
from a couple of witnesses

before doing so.

You have a legacy...

of unfettered fairness, Your Honor.

Please do not tarnish it.

(quirky music)

You pay the court costs.

Two o'clock.

(upbeat music)

-He actually got a hearing?
-Don't ask me how.

What did he say?

You two have anything else to do?

Um, we're discussing a case, sir.

It's not a case!
It's an abuse of the judicial process.

Yes, we're discussing that.

Go shine your shoes.

I beg your pardon?

BRAD: You heard me.

Shine your shoes now.

And how's your grooming?

SARA: I think fine...

sir.

Go to work.

ALAN: It's fun to pull rank, isn't it?

What you are doing
is an arrogant dismissal

of that young soldier's
ultimate sacrifice.

And as somebody who served
in the Gulf War. Proudly.

When you disrespect our soldiers,
you disrespect me.

I don't like it.

Is it true?

You're criticizing the war?

Constructive criticism.

-What?
-Alan, I've loved you like a…

Sister.

We're Americans.

To be critical in a time of war.

Even the Democrats are smart enough
to keep their mouth shut on this.

Edward R. Murrow said,

"We should never confuse dissent
with disloyalty."

Edward R Murrow is media.

And he's dead. Dead don't count.

The dead do count, Denny.
Which is why we're bringing this lawsuit.

Drop the case. Do it now.

I'm not dropping it, Denny.

Alan.

I'm senior partner.

I'm asking you,
check that, I'm directing you.

Drop it.

No.

(tense music)

(upbeat music)

(in raspy voice) I'll boil you whole
and suck the skin from your bones!

(cackling)

(squealing)

(cackling continues)

(in normal voice)
Or something like that.

Mr. Mathias, is this an accurate depiction

of Principal Berleth's behavior
during the Halloween pageant?

Yes, except she does sort of a… swoop.

Could we see the swoop, please?

(sighs)

(cackling menacingly)

Your Honor.

ATTY. MORRISON: Your Honor.

(cackling continues)

Your Honor, the defense stipulates,
"She's scary as all get out."

Mrs. Berleth, you may be seated.

The court thanks you
for the riveting demonstration.

Ah.

Why is Mrs. Berleth's performance
so harmful to your children?

-I mean, it's just Halloween.
-And that's what we hear daily.

"It's just a movie.
It's just a video game.

"It's just the Super Bowl halftime show."

But she's not just a witch to you, is she?

No, and I should be able
to protect my children

from things I deem harmful.

Trying to raise my kids
to have strong Christian values

in today's world is hard enough
without the head of the school

dressing up like a servant of Satan.

It's bad enough my seven-year-old
knows all about

bitches, pimps and hoes
from Grand Theft Auto.

Michael Jackson and child molestation
are now words in his vernacular.

My sixth-grade daughter has classmates
who will, excuse me,

perform oral sex for a dollar.

Now, all of this is learned at school.
This is why we're so livid.

This is why so many of us
are homeschooling.

But I don't want to have to do that.

Public school is just that.
It's our school too.

And Satan shouldn't be there.

(quirky music)

The National Guard said
they'd pay his tuition for college.

He was also told that he'd be safe.

Safe?

He was going to be a cannon loader,
not one of the guys on the streets.

They promised.

Then he was reassigned,

doing the job of an MP,
guarding a convoy truck.

He made a joke that he should've
just joined the Boston PD

if he was going to travel halfway
around the world to become a cop.

Cassie, what happened
on September 2nd of this year?

Jeff's convoy was pulling through a town
called Iskandariya.

They nearly ran over an IED.

It's an improvised explosive device.

-A bomb.
-CASSIE: They had to disarm it

before the convoy could go on.

Jeff didn't have any training
in disarming homemade bombs,

but it had to be done,
and no one else had a clue.

(sniffling) It was always like that.

You know if you...

Always the one you can count on.

He just never should have been there!

Okay. But Cassie, he did enlist.

You sign up for the military,

you have to assume the risk
of going to war.

CASSIE: His tour of duty was up.

Plus, he died doing something
he was never trained for.

He didn't assume that risk.

Nothing further.

Uh, Mr. Randolf.

I have nothing for Ms. Elliot
except to thank her family

for the sacrifice that they've made

during this difficult struggle
for freedom.

(tense music)

-WOMAN: Here you are.
-SAM: Thank you.

EVELYN: Thank you.

Hi. Did we have a meeting scheduled?

Denise, we have some concerns
about our case.

-Okay, well, please.
-EVELYN: Thanks.

SAM: Uh, we don't want
to make trouble, but, uh,

the Christians keep bringing up Satanism,
which completely misrepresents

what our religion is about.

We're worried that the Wiccan side
isn't being represented fairly.

I mean, we're a recognized religion
with hundreds of thousands of followers.

We're just looking for balance.

Well, your side is up next,

and you'll be able to state
your position fully.

-I promise.
-Thank you.

-That's all we ask.
-SAM: Yeah.

Uh, should we say something?

What?

-Um, Denise...
-SAM: Uh...

-we don't know you very well.
-EVELYN: Ah.

Wiccans care about spreading goodwill

and restoring the natural balance
of the world.

And from you,

well, we're feeling a quiet,
screaming disharmony.

-Come again.
-Maybe it has to do with the fact

that you're recently divorced.

How did you know that?

You have a tan line from your ring.

(frantic music)

-We can help. It's what we do.
-I appreciate your concern,

but I'm completely... harmonic.

-Okay.
-Okay.

(upbeat music)

This case is going great.
You did excellent today.

CASSIE: Uh, yeah, whatever that means.

So…

I'm just gonna...

I don't want to have sex with you anymore.

Yeah.

Well, as it turns out, as my client.

I'm not supposed to have sex
with you anyway

(sighs)
So there we are.

Here we are.

(tender music)

-(comical music)
-(footsteps squeaking)

I'm trying on my Halloween costume.

What are your thoughts?

I prefer to be alone. Please leave.

-Why?
-No reason.

If you were to guess at a reason?

(loudly)
If I were to guess,

I'd say maybe I don't want to socialize
the pinko liberal Democrat commie.

-Ah.
-DENNY: You may think it's patriotic

to dissent, and maybe it is sometimes.

But to sue the army at a time of war
is not patriotic.

It borders on treason.
And I'm disgusted with you.

And just so you know,
most of the Democrats voted for this war.

John Kerry voted for it.
Hillary Clinton voted for it.

Now suddenly it becomes unpopular!

Say what you will about Republicans.

We stick to our convictions
even when we know we're dead wrong.

-Some might say, especially then.
-It's not funny, Alan.

I can't look at you right now.

I don't know how you could miss me.

This is how I feel.

I don't want to be in your company.

(upbeat rock music)

On the ground,

there are separate rules
for National Guards

-and active duty soldiers.
-How do you mean?

CPL. WEBB: Well, guardsmen have
to write home for essential supplies.

Little things like flashlights,
batteries to major stuff like body armor.

-You weren't given proper body armor?
-None of us were.

ALAN: Now, you were trained as a medic?

CPL. WEBB: Yes, sir. And when I got there,
they had me doing MP duty

because there was no one left to do it.

-Before I knew it, I was guarding convoys.
-With Private Elliot?

CPL. WEBB: It happened to a lot of us.

-There just aren't enough guys over there.
-Corporal.

Based on what your recruiter told you,
is this what you expected

when you signed up for the National Guard?

No, sir. No, I wanted to go
into the medical field.

My recruiter told me that the government
would pay for my medical school,

and that in Iraq, I'd be a medic.

-Never see combat.
-Why are you home now?

I was shot.

Thank you, Corporal.

U.S. ATTY. RANDOLF:
You were a soldier in a war.

CPL. WEBB:
I was told that I would never see combat.

Is it your testimony
that you were never trained in combat?

-That's not my testimony.
-U.S. ATTY. RANDOLF: And, Corporal,

before you joined the National Guard,

-you were roughly $6,000 in debt.
-Yes.

And the government gave you
a hefty signing bonus,

which you used to pay off that debt.

-Yes, sir.
-And now that you're back at home,

going to college at night,
tuition free and have a good job,

both of which the government facilitated

based on your training
in the National Guard.

Yes, sir.

And your testimony is that the government
didn't keep its promises to you?

That is not my testimony.

It's actually a good thing
that they're calling a witness

and that the judge wants to hear
from their side, it means we...

(quirky music)

…made an impression.

-What's this?
-My Halloween costume.

We were gonna be flamingos together.

I decided to be a hunter.

Leave.

Hunters shoot flamingos.

Could you excuse us, please?

Denny, whether or not one agrees
with the war…

-I don't wanna talk about it.
-Why is that?

Why does no one wanna talk about it?
Why can't friends even discuss it?

Because you're either with us
or against us.

And I don't want to talk to people
who are against us.

Wicca is a way to reconnect.

In our modern mechanized world,

people have lost touch with nature,
and Wicca teaches us

that God is in all living things.

What about magic?

(chuckles)
The only spells we cast are positive ones.

EVELYN: We believe in the law of three.

Whatever energy you put out in the world
will return to you threefold.

So we promote goodwill, not hexes.

Tell us why you want Mrs. Berleth
to end her witch act.

The stereotype, the wicked witch.

My daughter comes home
at least once a week,

crying because the kids in school
torment her

and say she worships the devil.

DENISE: You don't worship Satan,
do you, Evelyn?

Wicca has no concept of Satan.

The devil, fire and brimstone, hell...

that stuff was dreamed up by Christians.

"Dreamed up."

-Now, you said Wicca is an ancient belief.
-EVELYN: Yes.

But I'm confused.

Wasn't Wicca made up in England
in the 1950s?

EVELYN: It wasn't made up.

It came about after England
finally repealed

the last of its witchcraft laws in 1951,

but it's simply a modern version
of an old belief system.

Witchcraft laws?

Laws created in England, in Europe,
during what are called the Burning Times.

It started in about 1480
and went on for hundreds of years.

Tens of thousands of innocent people
were burned at the stake

because of these laws.

Burned by whom?

Well... the Christians.

(upbeat music)

You said you'd leave out the attacks.

-She didn't attack you.
-Sam. Bob, please.

-They're making a mockery of our religion.
-I did no such thing.

-What?
-This is why we came to you.

-This is what we were talking about.
-BOB: Wait a second.

You saw Denise behind her backs?

-EVELYN: It wasn't behind your back.
-Oh, so then you're a hypocrite.

SAM: Hey. Hey. Hey.

I didn't know I was dealing
with hypocrite, that's all.

-GRACE: Hey!
-Don't push me.

Oh, what are you going to do?
Turn me into a toad?

-All right.
-We don't do hexes.

-(women screaming)
-GRACE: Oh, my god! Honey, stop!

We throw punches occasionally.

-All right, that's enough.
-Except for the attack!

-I will kill you!
-I've had enough of all of you.

-Spoken like a true Christian!
-What did you just say?

This is the fun part?

You know, I think I know
where you can put your broomstick.

-Okay. Hey! Hey! Hey! Stop it!
-...put your cross, man!

Stop it! All of you stop!
All of you stop it!

GRACE: ...put a spell on me?

(rock stinger)

I told Private Elliot exactly what he'd be
getting into when he signed up.

I answered all of his questions.

Did you ever lie or mislead Private Elliot
when he came into your recruitment office?

No, sir. We went over
a service contract together,

and I explained
to each provision completely.

I may have emphasized the positive,
but I never lied to him.

You told Private Elliot
that he'd be doing things

-other than cannon loading?
-Of course.

I explained all the contingencies to him.

I told him the same thing
I tell all recruits.

ALAN: Really?

This man, Mr. Dewey,
seated in the second row,

went to your recruiting office yesterday
at our direction.

-Do you remember speaking with him, sir?
-Objection.

-Mr. Shore, what are you doing here?
-Impeachment, Your Honor.

Sgt. Hendler articulated that he tells
the same thing to all recruits.

Mr. Dewey is one of those all.

I will allow it, but I have my eye on you.

Again. Sergeant, do you remember having
a conversation with this young man?

-Vaguely.
-ALAN: Vaguely?

You told him the National Guard
could train him in sound mixing.

We offer a wide spectrum
of training possibilities.

Isn't it a fact that you never told
Mr. Dewey

he'd have to do anything else?

ALAN: You also told him
he'd probably never see combat.

I believe my words were
"hopefully, he'd never see combat."

And if Mr. Dewey says
he never heard the word "hopefully,"

would he be lying or mistaken?
Because he's willing to take a polygraph.

-Objection.
-Sustained.

You also mentioned to him something
about a Try One program. What's that?

SGT. HENDLER:
Try One is a one-year trial program.

If you sign up and you aren't happy
at the end of your one-year contract

then you can leave without officially
enlisting in the National Guard.

And that's what Private Elliot
signed up for, correct?

-Yes, sir.
-ALAN: See, this is what confuses me.

Private Elliot served out his year,
fulfilled his contract,

and clearly wasn't happy.
Why didn't he just come home?

Private Elliot was kept in Iraq
under the Stop Loss program.

In case you haven't noticed, we're at war.

Yes. Tell me, Sergeant,
under this Stop Loss program,

how much longer had the military plan
to keep Private Elliot in the service?

Private Elliot's obligation
was extended to 2031.

(people murmuring)

Twenty-six years.

Did you tell either Mr. Elliot
or Mr. Dewey about these contingencies?

We're at war, Mr. Shore.

We need soldiers.

Yes. According to our generals
and military advisers,

we need a lot more than 140,000
currently over there.

Why are we not sending more?

(suspenseful music)

Are we trying to win
this war or not, Sergeant?

(upbeat rock music)

Your Honor, this is clearly a stunt.
He orchestrated this.

These are the children
who will be affected.

That doesn't mean you parade them
around like exhibits.

Yeah, so, this has already
taken up enough time.

Let's just get through this.

Step back.

Halloween is a secular holiday
and as you can see, a fun one.

Now, the witch at the center of this case,
played with gusto by Mrs. Berleth,

is not a symbol of Satanism

and in no way defames
the religion of the Wiccans.

The whole pageant, indeed,

all of Halloween everywhere
is just make-believe.

And to claim that this somehow rises
to the level of persecution

is not only laughable, but offensive.

Persecution is an issue which,
to be perfectly frank,

neither these suburban parents

nor their high priced attorneys
know anything about.

And it's insulting to groups
who have been persecuted

to raise that issue at this time
in this case.

The First Amendment says
we shouldn't discriminate

against any group
on the basis of religion.

It's a nice theory,
but the truth is the law is rarely applied

to protect the Christian faith
because being in the majority,

well, I guess we feel they can take it.

And if the religion is too far out there,

Christian Scientists, sure,

Scientologists maybe. Wiccans?

Well, at what point does a religion
become silly enough

that it's okay to make fun of them?

And who decides?

What this case is really about
is tolerance,

whether it's Hindus attacking Jews
or Muslims against Catholics,

Christians fighting with Wiccans.
The aim of the law is tolerance.

And I could be wrong,
but I don't think we ever ratified

persecution under the heading of fun.

Let me read you something
by Martin Niemöller,

a German pastor who opposed the Nazis.

"In Germany,
they came first for the communists,

and I didn't speak up
because I wasn't a communist.

Then they came for the Jews
and I didn't speak up

because I wasn't a Jew.

Then they came for the trade unionists

and I didn't speak up
because I wasn't a trade unionist.

Then they came for the Catholics
and I didn't speak up

because I was a Protestant.

Then they came for me,

and by that time,
there was no one left to speak up."

(pensive music)

In war, any war, there are casualties.

For the family of a victim...

to sue the army for such a casualty
is not only patently ridiculous,

it's an insult.

First, it offends the memory
of the soldier

who gave his life to defend his country.

Worse, it's an attack on patriotism
and the US army itself.

He enlisted. He was trained in combat.

He assumed the risks of combat.

This lawsuit merely represents
a flamboyant attempt

to showcase anti-war sentiment.

It is wrong, it is baseless.

And it's an affront to every soldier,
to every veteran

who has put himself on the line
to defend the United States of America,

especially primarily the ones...

who have given their lives to do so.

First, this is hardly
about anti-war sentiments.

Private Elliot was for the war.
Personally, I was against it.

Then I was for it.

Then I was against it again.

But that's just me. I'm a flip-flopper.

But whether one is for or against
the occupation and let's assume,

judging from your tie,
one is that does not exempt the military

from a duty to be honest
with its soldiers.

Private Elliot was told he'd serve a year.

He was told he wouldn't see combat.
Okay, unexpected stuff happens.

He did see combat, fine.

But he was sent into combat
with insufficient backup.

He was sent in to perform duties
for which he was never, ever trained.

He wasn't given the most basic
of equipment,

and then after his tour of duty
was finally up,

they wouldn't let him leave.

He never assumed those risks by enlisting.

Overextended, under-equipped, non trained.
He never signed up for that.

And now he's dead.

And aside from his sister,
nobody seems to care.

We talk about honoring the troops.

How about we honor them
by giving a damn when they're killed?

Our kids are dying over there.

And this country, the people, the media,
we all chug along like nothing is wrong.

We'll spend a month obsessing
about Terri Schiavo,

but dare we show a body
of a fallen soldier?

The most watched cable news station

will spend an hour a night
on a missing girl in Aruba.

But God forbid we pay any attention

when kids like Private Elliot,
killed in action…

-You're off the point.
-I'm not off the point.

We've had 2,000 American trees
fall on that forest over there,

and we don't even know it.

Not really.

But maybe we don't wanna know
about our children dying.

So, lucky for us,
this war isn't really being televised.

We're not seeing images of soldiers
dying in the arms of their comrades

being blown apart
in the streets of Baghdad.

But they are by the thousands,

and all the American public
wants to concern itself with

is whether Brad and Angelina
really are a couple.

At least with Vietnam,
we all watched, and we all got angry.

What does this have to do
with the death of Private Elliot?

Private Elliot is dead in part
because we have a people

and a government in denial.

We currently have no strategy
to fight this war.

We have no timetable for getting out.

Some of these troops
could be extended 20-plus years.

Their mothers and fathers
have to spring for body armor

because the army doesn't
and they're getting killed.

And we as a nation in denial
are letting them.

We simply don't seem to care.

Well, she does.

She's in this courtroom
honoring one dead soldier.

That's a start.

(hopeful music)

We're dealing here with a pageant
in a public school.

A public school can't promote
the exercise of any religion,

and it can't denigrate
the followers of any religion.

No one should take that lightly.

And indeed Christians,
witches and other groups

have been persecuted over the years,

and no one should take
persecution lightly.

But, we should take Halloween lightly.

As the defense pointed out,
Halloween is a secular holiday,

but more importantly,
it's a silly holiday.

Children don't see a witch
as a symbol of any sort.

A witch is just something
to enjoy being afraid of.

Motion by the plaintiffs is denied.

Halloween pageant will go on
as it always has.

And I advise both parties to lighten up

and remember
what Halloween really is all about.

The candy!

-Court adjourned.
-(crowd laugh softly)

Sorry.

-We forgive you.
-I thought you might.

-EVELYN: Thank you both.
-Bye.

-Sorry.
-Thank you.

Listen, um...

tonight's Samhain,
that's what we call Halloween.

There's a woman's circle
after the celebration.

It's a full moon.

It's the perfect time
for letting the energy

of the Goddess heal and restore you.

You need it.

I'll fax you directions.

-Thank you so much.
-(Evelyn chuckles)

(quirky music)

Do I strike you as being… out of harmony?

(Shirley clicking tongue)

BAILIFF: All rise.

This war is a disaster.

It has been sold to America
on a false premise.

The government has been repeatedly told
by its most senior military advisers

that it needs far more troops.

The advisers have been ignored,
or in some cases, even fired.

And now we have what very much looks like
the beginning of another Vietnam

except, as Mr. Shore points out,

without the necessary outrage.

That's it. Like it or not, we are at war.

And the one thing

that keeps the military functioning in war
is its hierarchy.

Orders are given, orders followed.

That's why Congress has granted

the military immunity
in lawsuits like this.

Ms. Elliot, I have the deepest sympathy
for you and for your brother.

However...

I rule in favor of the government.

The motion to dismiss is granted.

(people murmuring)

I hope at least somebody heard
your screams.

If not, then maybe they heard yours.

Thank you.

(sighs)
Well...

Bye.

Why?

I'm sorry?

Why does it have to be a goodbye?

(romantic music)

We lost.

If it's any consolation.

It isn't.

Anybody who truly loves
this country, Denny,

must at least try to understand
the awful truth over there.

One of the reasons
it's happening over there

so it won't happen here.

I'm afraid I don't agree with you, Denny.

But if Americans can continue to nurture
the expression of differing opinions,

what's happening over there
will never happen here.

("You and Me" by Lifehouse playing)

(indistinct chatter)

(cauldron gurgling)

(cackling)

I don't think people recognize
our costumes.

Maybe we should use the accent.

♪ 'Cause it's you and me ♪

♪ And all of the people ♪

I give you my word.
I'm not trying to be disrespectful.

I just wanted to feel… hot.

♪ And all of the people ♪

♪ And I don't know why ♪

♪ I can't keep my eyes off of you ♪

(footsteps squeaking)

♪ What are the things that I want to say ♪

I've tried it on.

Look good. Kept it on.
Doesn't mean I forgive you.

Got it.

Denny.

You look pretty in pink.

-Not having sex with you.
-Just the same.

♪ Cause it's you and me ♪

♪ And all of the people
with nothing to do ♪

What exactly is our costume again?

It's, um, "I look good in white-tails."

Ah.

Right.

Thank you.

Did I say that?

To Alan Shore, you did.

Hmm. Nothing for you?

No.

♪ And all of the people
with nothing to do ♪

♪ Nothing to prove ♪

♪ And it's you and me ♪

♪ And all of the people ♪

♪ And I don't know why ♪

♪ I can't keep my eyes off of you ♪

("You and Me" by Lifehouse fades)

ALAN: What are you thinking about?

It's not a trick question.

(lips smacking)

Can I have a solitary, pensive moment?

Keep a thought to myself?

You forgot what you're thinking.
(laughing)

I don't presume to know
whether this is a good war or not, Denny.

But there can be no dispute.
It's a complex one.

One that we as a citizenry, as patriots,

need to be talking about.

(muffled) Here's all you need to know.
Put me in charge.

I'll win the damn thing.

No doubt.

You think the army would let
two flamingos enlist?

Don't ask, don't tell.

DENNY: Most of the Cranes in my family
were flamingos.

ALAN: Indeed.

DENNY: Next on Boston Legal.

-How could anyone be afraid of a clown?
-(nose honks)

-SHIRLEY: What's going on?
-BRAD: He's afraid of clowns.

I am not.

(whispers)
Nobody ever said he'd be in costume.

It was strategy.

Can't move my feet.

Obviously, I made a mistake.

But I've been a good husband for 23 years.

A deacon at our church.

(laughs)
You… you sleep with one cow.

Mr. Crane, you've been assigned

to represent
one of our indigent defendants.

-Thank you for coming in.
-No can do, Judge.

-I beg your pardon?
-Indigent are poor.

I hate the poor. Can't pay you.

Denny Crane.

(closing theme music)