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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:30,031 ***Subtitles by gnl*** 2 00:00:45,641 --> 00:00:48,009 Another great race today, Johnny. 3 00:00:48,046 --> 00:00:50,411 Who are you gonna ride in the Stakes? 4 00:00:50,444 --> 00:00:53,085 Eddie, like my daddy always used to say... 5 00:00:53,116 --> 00:00:55,641 and I live by it... 6 00:00:55,685 --> 00:00:57,983 "Never change horses in midstream." 7 00:00:58,021 --> 00:01:02,390 Never change horses. Sounds like a smart bet. 8 00:01:03,393 --> 00:01:05,691 Always stick with a winner. 9 00:01:07,097 --> 00:01:08,257 Keep America working. 10 00:01:09,633 --> 00:01:12,158 Don't change horses in midstream. 11 00:01:12,202 --> 00:01:14,966 On election day, reelect the president. 12 00:01:29,419 --> 00:01:31,785 Can you step this way, Mr. Brean? 13 00:01:31,821 --> 00:01:33,618 Lift your arms, please. 14 00:01:35,425 --> 00:01:38,155 That's him. That's Mr. Fix-it. 15 00:02:54,537 --> 00:02:55,799 It's right here. 16 00:03:06,182 --> 00:03:07,911 You have a seat here, Connie. 17 00:03:07,951 --> 00:03:09,942 He doesn't know anything. 18 00:03:15,058 --> 00:03:17,322 John Levy's staff, his assistant... 19 00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:19,419 and Amy Cain, Press. 20 00:03:24,734 --> 00:03:27,498 Thank you. That'll be all. 21 00:03:27,537 --> 00:03:29,903 - Want some coffee? - Black, please. 22 00:03:29,939 --> 00:03:32,601 Gaviston, bring some coffee. Black. 23 00:03:34,110 --> 00:03:37,568 You kids in this room... 24 00:03:37,614 --> 00:03:39,741 what you hear and say here... 25 00:03:39,783 --> 00:03:42,445 if it gets out, you leaked it. 26 00:03:42,485 --> 00:03:43,747 Tell them what they need to know. 27 00:03:43,787 --> 00:03:46,813 When it broke, the president said, "Get me Conrad Brean." 28 00:03:49,292 --> 00:03:51,021 What's the thing? 29 00:03:51,061 --> 00:03:54,258 He had an illegal immigrant nanny years back? 30 00:03:54,297 --> 00:03:57,926 You get ahead in the polls, suddenly you get nervous. 31 00:03:57,967 --> 00:04:01,368 He made a pass at some secretary years ago? 32 00:04:01,404 --> 00:04:03,998 A group of Firefly Girls were here last month. 33 00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:06,531 One expressed interest in a Frederic Remington bust. 34 00:04:06,576 --> 00:04:09,409 They went in the office behind the Oval Office. 35 00:04:09,446 --> 00:04:12,006 It couldn't have been over three minutes. 36 00:04:12,048 --> 00:04:14,107 The Secret Service will confirm that. 37 00:04:14,150 --> 00:04:15,900 It's not the illegal immigrant nanny thing? 38 00:04:16,920 --> 00:04:18,649 The girl's alleging... 39 00:04:23,126 --> 00:04:25,321 Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. 40 00:04:25,361 --> 00:04:29,024 Maybe we could say it was a drug reaction to the flu. 41 00:04:29,065 --> 00:04:30,362 Who's got the story? 42 00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:31,890 Don't you want to know if it's true? 43 00:04:31,935 --> 00:04:33,266 What's the difference? 44 00:04:33,303 --> 00:04:35,737 It's a story. They'll run with it. 45 00:04:35,772 --> 00:04:37,205 How long till it breaks? 46 00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:39,231 Front page, Washington Post, tomorrow. 47 00:04:39,275 --> 00:04:41,470 That's not good. 48 00:04:41,511 --> 00:04:44,605 - Where is he? - China. 49 00:04:44,647 --> 00:04:46,512 When is he due back? 50 00:04:46,549 --> 00:04:49,347 They're set to leave soon. 51 00:04:51,554 --> 00:04:54,819 He stays on the ground in China at least another day. 52 00:04:54,858 --> 00:04:56,792 Why? 53 00:04:56,826 --> 00:04:58,316 You the Press Office? 54 00:04:58,361 --> 00:05:00,022 Earn your money. He's ill. 55 00:05:00,063 --> 00:05:01,496 When do we bring him back? 56 00:05:01,531 --> 00:05:04,193 I'm gonna need a day. 57 00:05:04,234 --> 00:05:06,202 He's sick. Get that out now. 58 00:05:06,236 --> 00:05:08,363 Tell the jackals how sick he is. 59 00:05:08,404 --> 00:05:11,396 We gotta get that out before the story breaks. 60 00:05:11,441 --> 00:05:13,773 Issue a bulletin. He's got some rare strain... 61 00:05:13,810 --> 00:05:16,677 - Won't hold. - I need running time. 62 00:05:16,713 --> 00:05:18,010 It won't hold a day. 63 00:05:18,047 --> 00:05:19,776 It will. I'll tell you why. 64 00:05:19,816 --> 00:05:21,283 Why is the president in China? 65 00:05:21,317 --> 00:05:23,615 - Trade relations. - You're right. 66 00:05:23,653 --> 00:05:25,951 It's got nothing to do with the B-3 bomber. 67 00:05:25,989 --> 00:05:29,618 - There is no B-3 bomber. - I just said that. 68 00:05:29,659 --> 00:05:32,127 I don't know why these rumors get started. 69 00:05:33,530 --> 00:05:36,397 I need $20,000. I need a car. 70 00:05:36,432 --> 00:05:38,297 Get me a car and driver. 71 00:05:38,334 --> 00:05:39,961 The southwest gate. 72 00:05:42,405 --> 00:05:43,702 What? 73 00:05:44,808 --> 00:05:46,105 What is it? 74 00:05:46,142 --> 00:05:48,542 Campaign commercial. Should we look at it? 75 00:05:48,578 --> 00:05:51,547 Put it in. This should be interesting. 76 00:05:51,581 --> 00:05:53,981 What is it? 77 00:05:54,017 --> 00:05:55,985 The other side's new commercial. 78 00:05:56,019 --> 00:05:57,247 The Neal commercial. 79 00:05:57,287 --> 00:05:59,255 We had somebody steal it. 80 00:05:59,289 --> 00:06:02,156 This'll be on the air the day after tomorrow. 81 00:06:02,192 --> 00:06:05,025 In the final days of the campaign... 82 00:06:05,061 --> 00:06:06,961 has the president changed his tune? 83 00:06:06,996 --> 00:06:10,295 Thank heaven for little girls. 84 00:06:10,333 --> 00:06:12,665 The presidency is about honor. 85 00:06:12,702 --> 00:06:16,160 Thank heaven for little girls. 86 00:06:16,206 --> 00:06:17,901 It's about principles. 87 00:06:17,941 --> 00:06:21,274 Without them, what would little boys do? 88 00:06:21,311 --> 00:06:23,871 It's about integrity. 89 00:06:23,913 --> 00:06:26,040 This tune has got to change. 90 00:06:26,082 --> 00:06:31,145 On election day, vote Neal for president. 91 00:06:32,222 --> 00:06:34,452 Oh, boy. 92 00:06:34,490 --> 00:06:36,981 Who's gonna take the press conference today? 93 00:06:37,026 --> 00:06:38,960 Is there a press conference today? 94 00:06:38,995 --> 00:06:40,292 What do you think? 95 00:06:40,330 --> 00:06:43,197 We have to use this as a base of operations. 96 00:06:43,233 --> 00:06:45,326 I'm gonna need one, two days. 97 00:06:45,368 --> 00:06:48,360 Whoever's leaking that stuff to the Post lets it slip... 98 00:06:48,404 --> 00:06:51,430 "I hope this won't screw up the B-3 program." 99 00:06:51,474 --> 00:06:54,807 "What B-3 program, and why should it screw it up?" 100 00:06:54,844 --> 00:06:57,005 "If the president deploys the B-3... 101 00:06:57,046 --> 00:06:59,037 before it's fully tested..." 102 00:06:59,082 --> 00:07:01,516 "Deploy the B-3 before it's fully tested?" 103 00:07:01,551 --> 00:07:03,644 "Why?" 104 00:07:03,686 --> 00:07:05,085 "The crisis." 105 00:07:05,121 --> 00:07:07,715 - What crisis? - I'm working on that. 106 00:07:09,826 --> 00:07:11,657 Get General Scott and the Joint Chiefs of Staff... 107 00:07:11,694 --> 00:07:13,525 and put them on a plane to Seattle. 108 00:07:13,563 --> 00:07:15,531 He's nervous to talk to the Boeing people. 109 00:07:16,933 --> 00:07:18,093 But what? 110 00:07:18,134 --> 00:07:19,692 There isn't a B-3 bomber. 111 00:07:19,736 --> 00:07:21,363 - Where'd you go to school? - Dartmouth. 112 00:07:21,404 --> 00:07:23,770 Then show a little spunk. There is no B-3 bomber. 113 00:07:23,806 --> 00:07:25,239 General Scott, to your knowledge... 114 00:07:25,275 --> 00:07:27,038 is not in Seattle to talk to Boeing. 115 00:07:27,076 --> 00:07:28,373 It won't prove out. 116 00:07:28,411 --> 00:07:31,812 It doesn't have to prove out. We just gotta distract them. 117 00:07:31,848 --> 00:07:33,406 Got less than two weeks till the election. 118 00:07:33,449 --> 00:07:36,612 What in the world would do that? 119 00:07:36,653 --> 00:07:37,847 I'm working on it. 120 00:07:44,994 --> 00:07:46,359 Winifred, Mr. Brean. 121 00:07:47,463 --> 00:07:48,760 - What's this? - $20,000. 122 00:07:48,798 --> 00:07:51,858 I gotta go to L.A. And see a Hollywood producer. 123 00:07:51,901 --> 00:07:53,869 Meet me at National in an hour. 124 00:07:53,903 --> 00:07:56,030 We'll go to Chicago and connect there to L.A. 125 00:07:56,072 --> 00:07:57,596 See you at National. 126 00:08:05,048 --> 00:08:07,710 Tell me this again. 127 00:08:07,750 --> 00:08:09,081 We landing? 128 00:08:10,420 --> 00:08:11,944 Tell me again. 129 00:08:11,988 --> 00:08:14,354 Don't worry. It's nothing new. 130 00:08:14,390 --> 00:08:18,417 During Reagan's administration, 240 Marines killed in Beirut. 131 00:08:18,461 --> 00:08:20,326 24 hours later, we invade Grenada. 132 00:08:20,363 --> 00:08:21,762 That was their M.O. 133 00:08:21,798 --> 00:08:23,163 Change the story, change the lead. 134 00:08:23,199 --> 00:08:24,757 It's not a new concept. 135 00:08:24,801 --> 00:08:26,769 Wake me when we land. We'll talk more. 136 00:08:26,803 --> 00:08:29,067 Wait. We can't afford a war. 137 00:08:29,105 --> 00:08:31,096 We're not having a war. 138 00:08:31,140 --> 00:08:32,698 We're having the appearance of a war. 139 00:08:32,742 --> 00:08:34,334 We cannot afford it. 140 00:08:34,377 --> 00:08:37,312 - What'll it cost? - But they would find out. 141 00:08:37,347 --> 00:08:39,315 Who's gonna find out? The American people? 142 00:08:39,349 --> 00:08:41,340 Who's gonna tell them? 143 00:08:41,384 --> 00:08:45,013 What did they find out about the Gulf War? 144 00:08:45,054 --> 00:08:47,614 One video of one bomb falls down a chimney. 145 00:08:47,657 --> 00:08:49,352 The building could have been made out of Legos. 146 00:08:49,392 --> 00:08:52,452 - You want us to go to war? - That's the general idea. 147 00:08:54,163 --> 00:08:55,858 With who? 148 00:08:55,898 --> 00:08:57,490 I'm working on it. 149 00:08:59,936 --> 00:09:01,130 Albania? 150 00:09:03,139 --> 00:09:04,299 Why? 151 00:09:04,340 --> 00:09:06,535 Why not? What do you know about them? 152 00:09:06,576 --> 00:09:08,806 - Nothing. - Precisely. 153 00:09:08,845 --> 00:09:11,575 They seem shifty, standoffish. 154 00:09:11,614 --> 00:09:14,845 Who knows from Albania? Who trusts Albanians? 155 00:09:14,884 --> 00:09:16,818 What did Albania ever do to us? 156 00:09:16,853 --> 00:09:17,911 What did they do for us? 157 00:09:17,954 --> 00:09:20,821 This is why we have to mobilize the B-3 bomber. 158 00:09:20,857 --> 00:09:22,757 You really want to go to war with Albania? 159 00:09:22,792 --> 00:09:26,023 We don't have a choice. This is what you do. 160 00:09:26,062 --> 00:09:28,428 Get your press office right now to deny it. 161 00:09:28,464 --> 00:09:29,761 It didn't happen. 162 00:09:29,799 --> 00:09:32,597 "There is no report of Albanian activity." 163 00:09:32,635 --> 00:09:34,159 They have to deny it. 164 00:09:34,203 --> 00:09:37,138 - It didn't happen. - Deny. 165 00:09:37,173 --> 00:09:40,040 ...news from the president on his visit to China. 166 00:09:40,076 --> 00:09:41,805 Another sort of news, however... 167 00:09:41,844 --> 00:09:43,607 has emerged from the presidential quarter. 168 00:09:43,646 --> 00:09:46,638 We turn to Melissa Gardner at KZAB in Santa Fe... 169 00:09:46,682 --> 00:09:47,876 with this breaking news. 170 00:09:48,751 --> 00:09:51,549 Thanks, Richard. Today a local Firefly Girl... 171 00:09:51,587 --> 00:09:54,351 accused the president of sexual misconduct. 172 00:09:54,390 --> 00:09:56,654 This photo of the president with the girls... 173 00:09:56,692 --> 00:09:59,752 was taken during their tour of the White House. 174 00:09:59,796 --> 00:10:01,821 The girl claims that the sexual misconduct... 175 00:10:01,864 --> 00:10:04,424 occurred inside the Oval Office. 176 00:10:04,467 --> 00:10:06,526 Her attorney says there are no plans yet... 177 00:10:06,569 --> 00:10:07,968 to hold a press conference. 178 00:10:08,004 --> 00:10:10,666 Folks in Santa Fe and the rest of America... 179 00:10:10,706 --> 00:10:12,867 are waiting for a response from the White House... 180 00:10:12,909 --> 00:10:14,968 on these harsh allegations. 181 00:10:15,011 --> 00:10:18,742 With the election days away, the big question is... 182 00:10:18,781 --> 00:10:22,012 how much will this scandal affect the outcome? 183 00:10:22,051 --> 00:10:23,348 Top people, Albanian desk. 184 00:10:23,386 --> 00:10:26,150 I don't know, either, but we probably have one. 185 00:10:26,189 --> 00:10:28,180 Roust them out of bed. 186 00:10:28,224 --> 00:10:30,920 Albanian desk, CIA, NSA. Roust them, sirens blaring. 187 00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:33,087 I know they're gonna be up in an hour. 188 00:10:33,129 --> 00:10:35,154 I want them up now. Tell your staff... 189 00:10:35,198 --> 00:10:36,495 General Scott in Seattle? 190 00:10:36,532 --> 00:10:40,969 I don't think his trip has to do with the B-3 bomber. 191 00:10:41,003 --> 00:10:43,301 I'll have to ask you to turn that off. 192 00:10:43,339 --> 00:10:45,307 It'll just be a second. 193 00:10:45,341 --> 00:10:47,275 There are no electronics on the plane. 194 00:10:47,310 --> 00:10:49,437 I have to ask you to turn that off. 195 00:10:49,479 --> 00:10:50,912 It'll just take two seconds. 196 00:10:50,947 --> 00:10:53,780 We've said flat out there is no B-3 bomber. 197 00:10:53,816 --> 00:10:55,613 I understand. 198 00:10:55,651 --> 00:10:59,109 If it is true, he should, he must step down... 199 00:10:59,155 --> 00:11:02,488 and if it's not true, then he must... 200 00:11:02,525 --> 00:11:05,619 We are informed he has extended his visit to China. 201 00:11:05,661 --> 00:11:08,789 I say on behalf of the American people, come home. 202 00:11:08,831 --> 00:11:11,698 Face the music, whatever that may be. 203 00:11:11,734 --> 00:11:13,224 The election's in 11 days. 204 00:11:13,269 --> 00:11:15,464 Let the American people decide. 205 00:11:15,505 --> 00:11:16,972 "Let the American people decide." 206 00:11:17,006 --> 00:11:19,804 Senator Neal, presidential candidate. 207 00:11:19,842 --> 00:11:21,400 Excuse me, Senator... 208 00:11:21,444 --> 00:11:23,378 That's 11 days till the election... 209 00:11:23,412 --> 00:11:25,972 and the president ahead in the polls by... Bob? 210 00:11:26,015 --> 00:11:27,448 Seventeen percent. 211 00:11:27,483 --> 00:11:31,544 Accusations have surfaced which could affect the outcome... 212 00:11:31,587 --> 00:11:32,952 The White House has announced... 213 00:11:32,989 --> 00:11:34,752 in response to the media pressure... 214 00:11:34,790 --> 00:11:36,587 there will be a press conference. 215 00:11:36,626 --> 00:11:38,856 This is how a Hollywood producer lives? 216 00:11:38,895 --> 00:11:41,420 This is bigger than the White House. 217 00:11:44,233 --> 00:11:46,098 Get me my veggie shake... 218 00:11:46,135 --> 00:11:48,569 and remind me to turn over in 10 minutes... 219 00:11:48,604 --> 00:11:51,004 to tan the other side. 220 00:11:51,040 --> 00:11:53,838 Do I know you? 221 00:11:53,876 --> 00:11:56,367 We have mutual friends in Washington. 222 00:11:56,412 --> 00:11:59,813 Yes, as you said, and is it true? 223 00:11:59,849 --> 00:12:01,840 Mr. Motss, I wouldn't... 224 00:12:01,884 --> 00:12:04,682 You wouldn't be here if it wasn't true. 225 00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:08,486 Really, who could say? 226 00:12:08,524 --> 00:12:11,118 I like the guy. He signed his book to me... 227 00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:14,288 "For two generations..." What was it? 228 00:12:14,330 --> 00:12:16,992 "For progress to occur," I think he said. 229 00:12:17,033 --> 00:12:20,093 Two Generations to Agree, yes. 230 00:12:20,136 --> 00:12:22,127 That's what he inscribed. How'd you know that? 231 00:12:22,171 --> 00:12:23,502 That's the title of the book. 232 00:12:23,539 --> 00:12:24,870 That's the title? 233 00:12:26,542 --> 00:12:29,170 For Progress to Occur It's Necessary for Two... 234 00:12:29,212 --> 00:12:30,645 That's a terrible title. 235 00:12:33,382 --> 00:12:35,509 You're right. 236 00:12:35,551 --> 00:12:38,418 For Two Generations to Agree. That is the title. 237 00:12:38,454 --> 00:12:40,081 I never looked at the cover. 238 00:12:40,122 --> 00:12:41,089 I just looked at what he wrote to me. 239 00:12:41,123 --> 00:12:43,318 When you get the time, read the cover. 240 00:12:43,359 --> 00:12:46,658 John Levy is expected to respond to the allegations... 241 00:12:46,696 --> 00:12:48,357 of sexual misconduct by the president. 242 00:12:49,532 --> 00:12:51,124 This guy is fucked. 243 00:12:54,503 --> 00:12:58,462 What one has to do, Mr. Motss, is fight a holding action. 244 00:12:58,507 --> 00:13:01,237 They'll run this man through the shredder. 245 00:13:01,277 --> 00:13:04,178 If we hold the break in the dam till the election... 246 00:13:04,213 --> 00:13:05,544 we got a chance. 247 00:13:05,581 --> 00:13:07,879 You can't hold the dam. 248 00:13:07,917 --> 00:13:10,147 I don't get what you want me to do. 249 00:13:11,621 --> 00:13:15,921 ...advised him to stay in China for one or two days. 250 00:13:15,958 --> 00:13:18,893 During that time, of course, we'll remain... 251 00:13:18,928 --> 00:13:20,896 But he's gotta come back sometime. 252 00:13:20,930 --> 00:13:22,795 What is one or two days gonna buy you? 253 00:13:22,832 --> 00:13:24,459 Look at all those hands. 254 00:13:24,500 --> 00:13:26,161 Brer Rabbit couldn't get out of this. 255 00:13:26,202 --> 00:13:28,500 Would you comment please on the rumors... 256 00:13:28,537 --> 00:13:31,563 that the president's delay... 257 00:13:31,607 --> 00:13:33,700 is due to the situation in Albania? 258 00:13:35,111 --> 00:13:37,204 There is... 259 00:13:37,246 --> 00:13:39,714 I'm not aware of the situation to which you refer. 260 00:13:39,749 --> 00:13:41,740 We've just learned that the State Department... 261 00:13:41,784 --> 00:13:45,220 has set up a special Albanian task force at Ops Center. 262 00:13:45,254 --> 00:13:49,486 Mr. Sklansky, I am... We have... Mrs. Rose? 263 00:13:49,525 --> 00:13:53,393 Early this morning, General Scott flew to Seattle. 264 00:13:53,429 --> 00:13:56,626 Is his trip connected with the B-3 bomber? 265 00:13:56,666 --> 00:14:01,660 To the best of my knowledge, there is no B-3 bomber. 266 00:14:01,704 --> 00:14:04,730 Mr. Levy, is the situation in Albania related... 267 00:14:04,774 --> 00:14:07,265 to the Muslim fundamentalist anti-American uprising? 268 00:14:07,310 --> 00:14:09,972 Now they get it. 269 00:14:10,012 --> 00:14:13,038 There you go. There's a little help. 270 00:14:13,082 --> 00:14:16,848 ...that have fundamentalist movements... 271 00:14:16,886 --> 00:14:18,979 How close are you to this? 272 00:14:19,021 --> 00:14:20,886 What do you want the kid to say? 273 00:14:24,226 --> 00:14:27,491 We will keep you apprised of any new information. 274 00:14:27,530 --> 00:14:31,091 At this time, there is no information... 275 00:14:31,133 --> 00:14:34,068 Have him say... 276 00:14:34,103 --> 00:14:37,038 I know we're all concerned for the president. 277 00:14:37,073 --> 00:14:41,237 I'm sure that our hopes and prayers are with him. 278 00:14:41,277 --> 00:14:43,177 Could you have Levy say... 279 00:14:43,212 --> 00:14:45,203 "I know we're all concerned for the president. 280 00:14:45,247 --> 00:14:47,081 I'm sure our hopes and prayers are with him." 281 00:14:48,718 --> 00:14:54,054 I want to say I know we are all concerned for the president... 282 00:14:54,090 --> 00:14:56,558 and our hopes and prayers are with him. 283 00:14:56,592 --> 00:14:57,820 He didn't phrase it right. 284 00:14:57,860 --> 00:14:59,384 He didn't sell the line. 285 00:15:03,566 --> 00:15:05,864 You bought yourself one day, maybe two. 286 00:15:05,901 --> 00:15:08,392 All I need is 11 till the election. 287 00:15:08,437 --> 00:15:10,837 This isn't gonna hold for 11 days. 288 00:15:10,873 --> 00:15:13,000 - The guy fucked a Girl Scout. - A Firefly Girl. 289 00:15:13,042 --> 00:15:15,272 He fucked a Firefly Girl. 290 00:15:15,311 --> 00:15:17,677 What are you gonna do to hold that off? 291 00:15:17,713 --> 00:15:19,408 I'm gonna get my veggie shake. 292 00:15:19,448 --> 00:15:20,881 What do you think would hold it off? 293 00:15:20,916 --> 00:15:22,076 Nothing. 294 00:15:23,986 --> 00:15:26,546 You'd have to have a war. 295 00:15:29,892 --> 00:15:32,827 You're kidding. You're not kidding. 296 00:15:36,832 --> 00:15:39,801 I'm in show business. Why come to me? 297 00:15:41,103 --> 00:15:43,298 I'll tell you why. 298 00:15:43,339 --> 00:15:46,035 "54, 40, or fight." What does that mean? 299 00:15:46,075 --> 00:15:48,066 - It's a slogan. - "Remember the Maine." 300 00:15:49,478 --> 00:15:50,911 "Tippecanoe and Tyler, too." 301 00:15:52,448 --> 00:15:53,881 They're war slogans. 302 00:15:53,916 --> 00:15:56,441 We remember the slogans, not the wars. 303 00:15:56,485 --> 00:15:57,850 You know why? 304 00:15:57,887 --> 00:15:59,855 That's show business. That's why we're here. 305 00:15:59,889 --> 00:16:02,119 Naked girl, covered in napalm. 306 00:16:02,158 --> 00:16:03,489 "V" for victory. 307 00:16:03,526 --> 00:16:06,586 5 Marines raising the flag, Mount Surabachi. 308 00:16:07,363 --> 00:16:09,991 You remember the picture in 50 years, but forget the war. 309 00:16:10,032 --> 00:16:12,762 The Gulf War, smart bomb falling down a chimney. 310 00:16:12,802 --> 00:16:14,997 2,500 missions a day, 100 days. 311 00:16:15,037 --> 00:16:17,301 One video of one bomb. 312 00:16:17,339 --> 00:16:19,068 The American people bought that war. 313 00:16:19,108 --> 00:16:22,077 War is show business. That's why we're here. 314 00:16:22,111 --> 00:16:24,705 What do you do for the president? 315 00:16:25,848 --> 00:16:27,281 Why Albania? 316 00:16:27,316 --> 00:16:28,943 Why not? 317 00:16:28,984 --> 00:16:30,679 They gotta know at some point. 318 00:16:30,719 --> 00:16:31,879 Who? 319 00:16:35,357 --> 00:16:36,790 The public. 320 00:16:36,826 --> 00:16:38,293 They gotta know? 321 00:16:38,327 --> 00:16:40,352 Get with it. Who killed Kennedy? 322 00:16:40,396 --> 00:16:42,557 I read the first draft of the Warren Report. 323 00:16:42,598 --> 00:16:44,725 Says he was killed by a drunk driver. 324 00:16:44,767 --> 00:16:47,031 The Gulf War. What do you see day after day? 325 00:16:47,069 --> 00:16:49,128 The one smart bomb falling down a chimney. 326 00:16:49,171 --> 00:16:50,433 The truth? 327 00:16:50,473 --> 00:16:52,703 I was in the building when we shot that shot. 328 00:16:52,741 --> 00:16:54,709 We shot it in a studio in Falls Church, Virginia. 329 00:16:54,743 --> 00:16:56,108 1l10 scale model of a building. 330 00:16:56,145 --> 00:16:57,373 Is that true? 331 00:16:57,413 --> 00:16:59,381 How do we know? You take my point? 332 00:16:59,415 --> 00:17:01,076 All right. 333 00:17:01,116 --> 00:17:03,482 You want me to do what? 334 00:17:03,519 --> 00:17:04,884 To produce. 335 00:17:04,920 --> 00:17:07,514 You want me to produce your war? 336 00:17:07,556 --> 00:17:09,421 Not a war. It's a pageant. 337 00:17:09,458 --> 00:17:12,018 We need a theme, a song, some visuals. 338 00:17:12,061 --> 00:17:13,460 It's a pageant. 339 00:17:13,496 --> 00:17:15,555 It's like the Oscars. That's why we came to you. 340 00:17:15,598 --> 00:17:17,293 I never won an Oscar. 341 00:17:17,333 --> 00:17:19,665 That's a shame, but you produced the Oscars. 342 00:17:19,702 --> 00:17:21,329 Indeed, I did. 343 00:17:21,370 --> 00:17:23,702 You're a writer, that's your script. 344 00:17:23,739 --> 00:17:26,003 You're a director, but if you're the producer... 345 00:17:26,041 --> 00:17:28,669 nobody knows what you do. 346 00:17:28,711 --> 00:17:30,576 The producer, all he's got is the credit. 347 00:17:30,613 --> 00:17:33,047 You see? And some plaques on the wall. 348 00:17:33,082 --> 00:17:36,017 They don't know what we do. Don't get me started. 349 00:17:37,019 --> 00:17:38,884 If you never won an Oscar... 350 00:17:38,921 --> 00:17:40,513 how would you like an ambassadorship? 351 00:17:40,556 --> 00:17:43,354 An ambassadorship? That's my payoff? 352 00:17:43,392 --> 00:17:45,019 Tell me what you want. 353 00:17:45,060 --> 00:17:47,858 I'd just do it for a story to tell. 354 00:17:47,897 --> 00:17:49,330 You couldn't tell anybody. 355 00:17:49,365 --> 00:17:51,526 I'm just kidding. 356 00:17:51,567 --> 00:17:54,161 - You couldn't tell anybody. - Just a figure of speech. 357 00:17:54,203 --> 00:17:56,569 It's a pageant. 358 00:17:56,605 --> 00:17:57,833 That's what it is. 359 00:17:57,873 --> 00:17:59,135 The country's at war. 360 00:17:59,174 --> 00:18:00,402 It's Miss America. You're Bert Parks. 361 00:18:00,442 --> 00:18:02,273 - Why Albania? - Because. 362 00:18:02,311 --> 00:18:04,871 What do we have that they want? 363 00:18:04,914 --> 00:18:06,905 - Freedom. - Why would they want that? 364 00:18:06,949 --> 00:18:10,350 - Oppressed? - Fuck freedom. 365 00:18:10,386 --> 00:18:13,651 They want to destroy the godless Satan. 366 00:18:13,689 --> 00:18:15,884 They want to destroy our way of life. 367 00:18:15,925 --> 00:18:17,187 All right? 368 00:18:17,226 --> 00:18:20,354 The president is in China. 369 00:18:20,396 --> 00:18:23,365 He is dealing with the dispatch of the B-3 bomber to Albania. 370 00:18:24,934 --> 00:18:26,595 Why? 371 00:18:28,304 --> 00:18:29,328 Why? Help me. 372 00:18:33,142 --> 00:18:34,302 Geo-politically... 373 00:18:35,678 --> 00:18:38,374 We found out they have the bomb. 374 00:18:42,318 --> 00:18:46,652 - That's good. - And... wait a second. 375 00:18:48,557 --> 00:18:50,286 The bomb's not there... 376 00:18:50,326 --> 00:18:53,420 because they'd have to have a rocket and that shit. 377 00:18:53,462 --> 00:18:56,659 They are a bunch of wogs. Cross that out. 378 00:18:56,699 --> 00:18:58,792 It's a suitcase bomb. 379 00:18:58,834 --> 00:19:00,768 I didn't know I said that. 380 00:19:00,803 --> 00:19:03,271 It's a suitcase bomb. You don't need missiles. 381 00:19:03,305 --> 00:19:05,136 You can put a bomb in a suitcase. 382 00:19:07,476 --> 00:19:09,967 That's good. A suitcase bomb. 383 00:19:10,012 --> 00:19:11,411 It's a suitcase bomb. 384 00:19:12,948 --> 00:19:14,848 When it's cooking, it's cooking. 385 00:19:14,883 --> 00:19:17,010 We're cooking, and it's in... 386 00:19:19,388 --> 00:19:21,583 Canada. All right? 387 00:19:21,624 --> 00:19:24,184 Albanian terrorists have placed a suitcase bomb... 388 00:19:24,226 --> 00:19:28,424 in Canada in an attempt to infiltrate it into the USA. 389 00:19:28,464 --> 00:19:31,763 - That's good. - That's terrific. 390 00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:34,030 I'll tell you why. It is cost effective. 391 00:19:34,069 --> 00:19:36,333 It's producing. That's what it is. 392 00:19:36,372 --> 00:19:38,966 - It's really great. - I could tell you stories. 393 00:19:39,008 --> 00:19:41,306 Cecil B. De Mille, The Greatest Show on Earth... 394 00:19:41,343 --> 00:19:43,311 he needs an elephant. 395 00:19:43,345 --> 00:19:44,679 I got the president on the line. 396 00:19:46,248 --> 00:19:47,408 One minute. 397 00:19:49,351 --> 00:19:52,047 Needs an elephant for a reshoot. Know what he does? 398 00:19:52,087 --> 00:19:54,521 Ames here. Yes, sir? 399 00:19:54,556 --> 00:19:56,524 You listening? 400 00:19:56,558 --> 00:19:58,651 - Nobody's listening. - I'm listening. 401 00:19:58,694 --> 00:20:01,993 - The suitcase bomb. - Good title for a movie. 402 00:20:02,031 --> 00:20:04,090 Please, write it down. Don't editorialize. 403 00:20:04,133 --> 00:20:06,465 The thinking is, terrorism. 404 00:20:06,502 --> 00:20:09,960 Act One: Albania denies everything. 405 00:20:10,005 --> 00:20:13,236 The president comes on the air, "Be calm." 406 00:20:13,275 --> 00:20:14,572 Know what I need? 407 00:20:14,610 --> 00:20:18,376 Get me Johnny Dean, Liz Butsky, and the Fad King. 408 00:20:18,414 --> 00:20:19,904 Isn't Johnny Dean in the... 409 00:20:21,984 --> 00:20:23,246 Back in Nashville. 410 00:20:23,352 --> 00:20:26,844 - Act Two. - We don't need an Act Two. 411 00:20:26,889 --> 00:20:29,687 Don't forget Fad King. We don't need an Act Two? 412 00:20:29,725 --> 00:20:31,716 We just have to hold their interest for 11 days. 413 00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:33,728 It's a teaser. 414 00:20:33,762 --> 00:20:35,423 Absolutely right. 415 00:20:35,464 --> 00:20:38,490 Grace. Teaser. 416 00:20:38,534 --> 00:20:41,230 They're getting a good reaction on the Albanian thing. 417 00:20:41,270 --> 00:20:44,398 Hello, John, you two-bit redneck shitkicker. 418 00:20:44,440 --> 00:20:46,203 How the heck are you? 419 00:20:46,241 --> 00:20:48,209 Get out. 420 00:20:52,514 --> 00:20:53,947 He's got a new wife. 421 00:20:53,982 --> 00:20:57,748 He's riding in a pickup truck with a shotgun and a dog. 422 00:21:02,958 --> 00:21:04,516 We need you here yesterday. 423 00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:07,893 All right? Get your ass out here. 424 00:21:07,930 --> 00:21:10,398 The president wonders about the possible Albanian backlash. 425 00:21:10,432 --> 00:21:12,957 You can't have a war without an enemy. 426 00:21:13,001 --> 00:21:15,367 We could, but it would be dull. 427 00:21:15,404 --> 00:21:16,894 How long do we need him? 428 00:21:16,939 --> 00:21:18,702 We're done in 11 days. 429 00:21:18,741 --> 00:21:21,005 Eleven days. We need you. 430 00:21:21,043 --> 00:21:23,568 You want to write a song for us? 431 00:21:23,612 --> 00:21:26,376 Is there gonna be a back end? 432 00:21:26,448 --> 00:21:28,416 Is there a back end? 433 00:21:28,450 --> 00:21:30,247 Back end? 434 00:21:30,285 --> 00:21:32,253 Percentage points, money. 435 00:21:32,287 --> 00:21:33,777 Count on it. 436 00:21:33,822 --> 00:21:36,586 Where is the back end coming from? 437 00:21:36,625 --> 00:21:39,321 It's like that yellow ribbon thing. 438 00:21:39,361 --> 00:21:42,057 The hostages. 439 00:21:42,097 --> 00:21:44,463 They tied the yellow ribbons around everything. 440 00:21:44,500 --> 00:21:46,400 But that was a naturally occurring... 441 00:21:46,435 --> 00:21:47,629 That was a put-up job? 442 00:21:55,611 --> 00:21:57,704 I want you to get Johnny a ticket. 443 00:21:57,746 --> 00:21:59,304 Fad King on two. 444 00:21:59,348 --> 00:22:02,317 He's riding in a pickup truck with a shotgun and a dog. 445 00:22:04,086 --> 00:22:05,348 Are you shitting me? 446 00:22:05,387 --> 00:22:09,289 King, got a thing here, product placement. 447 00:22:09,324 --> 00:22:10,586 Of course there's a back end. 448 00:22:12,828 --> 00:22:15,092 - It can't be a ribbon. - What's wrong with a ribbon? 449 00:22:15,130 --> 00:22:17,030 AIDS has the yellow ribbon thing. 450 00:22:17,065 --> 00:22:18,327 Fuck ribbons. 451 00:22:18,367 --> 00:22:20,062 Canada. Our neighbor to the north... 452 00:22:20,102 --> 00:22:22,832 all of a sudden transformed into that place from whence... 453 00:22:22,871 --> 00:22:25,032 like the north wind, terror comes. 454 00:22:25,073 --> 00:22:26,540 I like that. Keep talking. 455 00:22:26,575 --> 00:22:28,270 What guards us against Canada? 456 00:22:28,310 --> 00:22:31,768 I guard the Canadian border. 457 00:22:31,814 --> 00:22:33,304 Mounties guard the border. Mountie hats. 458 00:22:33,348 --> 00:22:34,781 Stupid fucking hats. 459 00:22:34,817 --> 00:22:36,216 Davy Crockett had a hat. 460 00:22:36,251 --> 00:22:39,379 You could crush them and put them in your pocket. 461 00:22:39,421 --> 00:22:41,981 You can't put a Mountie hat in your pocket. 462 00:22:42,024 --> 00:22:44,686 You see this? This is what producing is. 463 00:22:44,726 --> 00:22:48,890 You put me in a room with talent... electric. 464 00:22:48,931 --> 00:22:50,626 I'm thinking armbands. 465 00:22:50,666 --> 00:22:55,069 - Armbands is good. - I'm thinking green. 466 00:22:55,103 --> 00:22:58,072 Last year, the number one color in new cars was green. 467 00:22:58,106 --> 00:23:00,267 - People like green. - Hunter. 468 00:23:00,309 --> 00:23:03,301 Hunter green. Strong, pride, dignity. 469 00:23:03,345 --> 00:23:05,210 Not Kelly green. 470 00:23:05,247 --> 00:23:07,442 I like it with a hat. 471 00:23:07,482 --> 00:23:09,473 - Maybe. - You see that? 472 00:23:11,820 --> 00:23:15,620 Sit on my lap if you love me... 473 00:23:15,657 --> 00:23:18,558 but don't put your hand down there. 474 00:23:18,594 --> 00:23:19,959 I didn't mean... 475 00:23:19,995 --> 00:23:22,793 We'll take a short nap. 476 00:23:22,831 --> 00:23:25,061 I thought you should see it. 477 00:23:25,100 --> 00:23:26,533 It shouldn't be a song. 478 00:23:26,568 --> 00:23:30,834 I'm glad that your mama's not here. 479 00:23:30,873 --> 00:23:32,465 Don't do a song about it. 480 00:23:32,507 --> 00:23:33,735 I thought it was funny. 481 00:23:33,775 --> 00:23:35,072 Sit on my lap... 482 00:23:35,110 --> 00:23:38,705 I don't think it's appropriate for what we're doing. 483 00:23:38,747 --> 00:23:39,645 I just meant for you to see it. 484 00:23:39,681 --> 00:23:44,050 I guard the Canadian border. 485 00:23:44,086 --> 00:23:46,350 The president spent the weekend pressing the flesh. 486 00:23:46,388 --> 00:23:48,413 He wasn't campaigning. He was dating, actually. 487 00:23:51,693 --> 00:23:55,026 Change this. Thank you. 488 00:23:55,063 --> 00:23:57,930 Behind the mention of Albania, of his stomach flu... 489 00:23:57,966 --> 00:24:01,094 taking refuge these scant days away from the election. 490 00:24:01,136 --> 00:24:03,229 Young girl in rubble. 491 00:24:03,272 --> 00:24:06,435 She was driven from her home by Albanian terrorists. 492 00:24:06,475 --> 00:24:09,239 It is her we are mobilizing to defend. 493 00:24:09,278 --> 00:24:12,179 - Or is it she? - It is her. 494 00:24:12,214 --> 00:24:13,704 Can we get her a kitten? 495 00:24:13,749 --> 00:24:16,115 Young girl in rubble with a kitten. 496 00:24:16,151 --> 00:24:17,413 That's good. 497 00:24:17,452 --> 00:24:20,649 This is too static. 498 00:24:20,689 --> 00:24:23,283 Young girl running from the village. 499 00:24:23,325 --> 00:24:24,587 More energy. 500 00:24:24,626 --> 00:24:27,094 Time to face these terrible charges... 501 00:24:27,129 --> 00:24:30,428 to answer all of these questions. 502 00:24:30,465 --> 00:24:32,490 - What's this? - Head shots. 503 00:24:32,534 --> 00:24:37,267 Girls to play the victim in our news footage. 504 00:24:37,306 --> 00:24:38,568 Write this down. 505 00:24:38,607 --> 00:24:41,007 Young girl running from village towards camera. 506 00:24:41,043 --> 00:24:43,739 Grainy hand-held news footage. 507 00:24:43,779 --> 00:24:45,110 Send it to everyone. 508 00:24:45,147 --> 00:24:48,412 What do you think? I like the sorrowful one. 509 00:24:48,450 --> 00:24:50,611 What is this again? 510 00:24:50,652 --> 00:24:53,644 Young Albanian girl running from her home. 511 00:24:53,689 --> 00:24:54,951 I like this broad here. 512 00:24:54,990 --> 00:24:57,686 Where? Too Texan. 513 00:24:57,726 --> 00:24:59,455 We're locked into Albania. Why? 514 00:24:59,494 --> 00:25:00,825 Albania's hard to rhyme. 515 00:25:01,863 --> 00:25:03,421 What are you looking at me for? 516 00:25:03,465 --> 00:25:04,864 It's the name of the country. 517 00:25:09,838 --> 00:25:11,396 That rhymes. 518 00:25:12,841 --> 00:25:15,503 - John Belushi? - Jim. 519 00:25:15,544 --> 00:25:16,977 Jim Belushi. 520 00:25:17,012 --> 00:25:19,242 - Jim Belushi what? - Albanian? 521 00:25:19,281 --> 00:25:21,078 Jim Belushi's Albanian? 522 00:25:21,116 --> 00:25:22,481 Are you kidding? 523 00:25:22,517 --> 00:25:25,850 Know anybody who's eaten in an Albanian restaurant? 524 00:25:25,887 --> 00:25:28,617 - Is there such a thing? - Has to be. 525 00:25:28,657 --> 00:25:32,388 - Is there a national dish? - We can make it up. 526 00:25:32,427 --> 00:25:34,224 Jim Belushi is Albanian. 527 00:25:51,013 --> 00:25:52,310 What time is it? 528 00:25:53,682 --> 00:25:55,377 3:03. 529 00:25:55,417 --> 00:25:56,679 Great idea. 530 00:25:56,718 --> 00:26:00,245 To the men and women of the 303 detachment with their... 531 00:26:00,288 --> 00:26:01,778 Leopard skin. 532 00:26:01,823 --> 00:26:03,848 With their berets. 533 00:26:03,892 --> 00:26:05,325 How about all black? 534 00:26:05,360 --> 00:26:07,328 That's good. 535 00:26:07,362 --> 00:26:08,761 Half black, half leopard... 536 00:26:08,797 --> 00:26:10,958 wear it on your head. 537 00:26:10,999 --> 00:26:13,900 Half black, half leopard... 538 00:26:13,935 --> 00:26:16,495 wear it to your bed. 539 00:26:16,538 --> 00:26:18,836 Half black, half leopard. 540 00:26:19,875 --> 00:26:21,035 I guard... 541 00:26:22,377 --> 00:26:24,277 the American dream. 542 00:26:26,882 --> 00:26:28,042 I guard... 543 00:26:28,884 --> 00:26:31,978 the American dream. 544 00:26:40,395 --> 00:26:43,193 Everybody's always in a hurry these days. 545 00:26:43,231 --> 00:26:45,222 If they're not rushing somewhere... 546 00:26:45,267 --> 00:26:47,861 they're changing something that doesn't need changing. 547 00:26:47,903 --> 00:26:51,304 That's why I'm glad we're behind the president. 548 00:26:51,339 --> 00:26:54,775 Sure we are. It just makes good sense. 549 00:26:54,810 --> 00:26:57,244 You don't want to change horses in midstream. 550 00:26:57,279 --> 00:26:59,611 Why are they sticking with this age-old horseshit? 551 00:26:59,648 --> 00:27:01,912 Why are they sticking with the same garbage? 552 00:27:01,950 --> 00:27:05,113 - Who hires these people? - I feel insulted having seen it. 553 00:27:05,153 --> 00:27:08,247 - It's offensive. - Poorly costumed. 554 00:27:08,290 --> 00:27:11,953 New York Times, Washington Post: War. 555 00:27:11,993 --> 00:27:15,053 Times got the Firefly Girl in the Style section. 556 00:27:15,097 --> 00:27:17,861 Post on page 12. 557 00:27:17,899 --> 00:27:20,060 It's good. Hello? 558 00:27:21,236 --> 00:27:23,136 It's very important. Listen up. 559 00:27:23,171 --> 00:27:26,470 It's all war. You're doing good. 560 00:27:26,508 --> 00:27:29,170 Would you vote for that person based on that commercial? 561 00:27:29,211 --> 00:27:31,406 - I don't vote. - Why don't you vote? 562 00:27:31,446 --> 00:27:33,744 When Major League Baseball started the fans voting... 563 00:27:33,782 --> 00:27:35,215 I voted for Boog Powell on first base. 564 00:27:35,250 --> 00:27:37,548 He didn't get in, and it disappointed me. 565 00:27:37,586 --> 00:27:38,848 It's futile. 566 00:27:38,887 --> 00:27:40,855 You've never voted for president? 567 00:27:41,923 --> 00:27:43,117 Do you vote? 568 00:27:43,158 --> 00:27:45,888 No. I always vote for the Academy Awards... 569 00:27:45,927 --> 00:27:47,258 but I never win. 570 00:27:47,295 --> 00:27:48,523 Liz, do you vote? 571 00:27:48,563 --> 00:27:51,123 I don't vote. I don't like the rooms. 572 00:27:51,166 --> 00:27:53,464 Too claustrophobic. I can't vote in small places. 573 00:27:54,369 --> 00:27:56,200 It's about that time. 574 00:28:05,614 --> 00:28:09,550 We got the Albanian girl with a cat, a kitten, and a dog. 575 00:28:09,584 --> 00:28:11,745 I don't want a dog. I asked for a kitten. 576 00:28:11,786 --> 00:28:14,846 I understand that, but the pet wrangler suggested... 577 00:28:14,890 --> 00:28:18,018 I need to speak to the president before you pick an animal. 578 00:28:18,059 --> 00:28:21,426 Can't they find me a kitten? Listen to me. 579 00:28:21,463 --> 00:28:23,761 Albanian terrorists have a staging area... 580 00:28:23,798 --> 00:28:26,460 for their atomic workshop. That's why she's fleeing. 581 00:28:26,501 --> 00:28:28,594 What if it wasn't Albania? Say it was Italy? 582 00:28:28,637 --> 00:28:31,401 I can get a lot of cash if it's Italy. 583 00:28:31,439 --> 00:28:34,636 "Give them the boot." What if a shoe was the fad? 584 00:28:34,676 --> 00:28:37,702 The little girl is coming toward the camera. 585 00:28:37,746 --> 00:28:40,374 What does she have in her hands? A kitten. 586 00:28:40,415 --> 00:28:42,349 Albania doesn't do anything for me. 587 00:28:42,384 --> 00:28:43,783 That's the problem. 588 00:28:43,818 --> 00:28:46,286 - We're locked into Albania. - Why is that? 589 00:28:47,856 --> 00:28:50,689 The president's going to war in about 30 minutes. 590 00:28:50,725 --> 00:28:52,192 Declaring war on Albania? 591 00:28:52,227 --> 00:28:54,388 We're not declaring war. We're going to war. 592 00:28:54,429 --> 00:28:56,761 We haven't declared war since World War II. 593 00:28:56,798 --> 00:28:58,265 We're going to war. 594 00:29:02,003 --> 00:29:05,063 This late-breaking news just in from Air Force One. 595 00:29:05,106 --> 00:29:06,539 The president of the United States... 596 00:29:06,575 --> 00:29:09,976 has said he apologizes for the need for secrecy... 597 00:29:10,011 --> 00:29:12,172 and he assures that it is necessary... 598 00:29:12,214 --> 00:29:14,944 for the safety of the men and women in combat. 599 00:29:14,983 --> 00:29:17,144 He says that the Republic of Albania... 600 00:29:17,185 --> 00:29:20,916 long a staging ground for terrorism around the world. 601 00:29:20,956 --> 00:29:24,892 He mentioned a state of war is or is about to happen... 602 00:29:24,926 --> 00:29:27,827 between the United States and the Republic of Albania. 603 00:29:27,862 --> 00:29:29,386 How many kittens do we have? 604 00:29:29,431 --> 00:29:31,729 There ought to be kittens a-plenty. I called. 605 00:29:32,100 --> 00:29:35,365 People, let's get started. 606 00:29:38,406 --> 00:29:40,738 My name is Stanley Motss. I'll be your producer. 607 00:29:40,775 --> 00:29:42,868 What I would like you to do, Miss... 608 00:29:42,911 --> 00:29:44,139 Tracy Lime. 609 00:29:44,179 --> 00:29:46,443 Stand against that wall, and on my signal... 610 00:29:46,481 --> 00:29:48,779 I want you running toward me, screaming. 611 00:29:48,817 --> 00:29:50,910 - Can we get you anything? - I'm fine. 612 00:29:50,952 --> 00:29:53,944 How about a cup of tea? A little milk, low fat? 613 00:29:53,989 --> 00:29:55,217 You OK? 614 00:29:55,257 --> 00:29:57,384 Fine. Let's try one. 615 00:29:57,425 --> 00:29:59,757 Is this a national? Is that the case? 616 00:29:59,794 --> 00:30:01,853 It's a direct buy-out. 617 00:30:01,896 --> 00:30:04,330 Have your agent... What is this? 618 00:30:04,366 --> 00:30:06,266 What is this, a menagerie? 619 00:30:06,301 --> 00:30:08,826 I can't wait to put this on my r�sum�. 620 00:30:08,870 --> 00:30:11,703 Can I talk to you for a minute? 621 00:30:11,740 --> 00:30:13,435 This is a special kind of situation. 622 00:30:15,310 --> 00:30:18,279 We have a schnauzer and what appears to be... 623 00:30:18,313 --> 00:30:19,473 It's a Lhasa apso. 624 00:30:20,949 --> 00:30:22,541 It couldn't have been simpler. Kittens. 625 00:30:22,584 --> 00:30:26,714 What you got here is a cross between a dog... 626 00:30:26,755 --> 00:30:28,518 I just want kittens. 627 00:30:28,556 --> 00:30:31,081 Absolutely, sir. The president wants a kitten. 628 00:30:31,126 --> 00:30:33,219 I want a kitten. 629 00:30:33,261 --> 00:30:36,389 Get rid of the dogs and keep the kittens. 630 00:30:36,431 --> 00:30:37,898 Miss. Excuse me. 631 00:30:37,932 --> 00:30:40,662 I have to have you sign this sheet of paper. 632 00:30:40,702 --> 00:30:43,296 My agent would be miffed with me if l... 633 00:30:43,338 --> 00:30:45,101 This doesn't have to do with your deal. 634 00:30:45,140 --> 00:30:47,165 This is your security clearance. 635 00:30:48,576 --> 00:30:49,838 Right there. 636 00:30:52,380 --> 00:30:53,745 Nice signature. Thank you. 637 00:30:53,782 --> 00:30:55,181 Nice meeting you. 638 00:31:00,355 --> 00:31:02,118 This is a nice one. 639 00:31:02,157 --> 00:31:03,886 That's a cat. These are kittens. 640 00:31:03,925 --> 00:31:05,586 They wanted to give options. 641 00:31:05,627 --> 00:31:09,620 It's too confusing. He's pushing the Lopso opso. 642 00:31:09,664 --> 00:31:11,723 - We'll do it optically. - Digitally. 643 00:31:11,766 --> 00:31:13,859 Let's try to shoot one. 644 00:31:13,902 --> 00:31:15,597 - Stacey... - Tracy. 645 00:31:15,637 --> 00:31:18,105 I want you to stand over here. 646 00:31:18,139 --> 00:31:20,437 Here you go. Right there. 647 00:31:20,475 --> 00:31:21,806 These are chips. 648 00:31:25,680 --> 00:31:26,942 Hold the bag when you run. 649 00:31:26,981 --> 00:31:28,915 It's for the arm position. On screen, it'll be a kitten. 650 00:31:28,950 --> 00:31:30,417 Can I hold the kitten? 651 00:31:30,452 --> 00:31:31,919 We'll punch it in later. 652 00:31:31,953 --> 00:31:33,682 You're gonna punch the kitten later? 653 00:31:33,722 --> 00:31:34,950 Why? 654 00:31:34,989 --> 00:31:36,752 For a wider set of options. 655 00:31:36,791 --> 00:31:39,157 A wider option of what? 656 00:31:39,194 --> 00:31:40,889 Of kittens. 657 00:31:42,197 --> 00:31:47,100 Sir, all kidding aside, I get to put it on my r�sum�? 658 00:31:47,135 --> 00:31:48,727 Actually, no. 659 00:31:48,770 --> 00:31:52,171 What is it, a guild thing or something? 660 00:31:52,207 --> 00:31:54,539 You can never tell anyone you did this. 661 00:31:54,576 --> 00:31:55,873 What could they do? 662 00:31:55,910 --> 00:31:58,344 They'd come to your house and kill you. 663 00:31:58,380 --> 00:32:00,507 The president. 664 00:32:00,548 --> 00:32:02,743 Stop the makeup. She's been raped by terrorists. 665 00:32:02,784 --> 00:32:04,684 - She's not pale enough. - Jump out. 666 00:32:04,719 --> 00:32:07,085 They're starting to shoot now... 667 00:32:07,122 --> 00:32:10,250 and they're gonna do the kitten thing optically. 668 00:32:10,291 --> 00:32:12,020 That's right, Mr. President. 669 00:32:12,060 --> 00:32:13,994 I don't know how they do the kitten optically... 670 00:32:14,028 --> 00:32:15,962 but they know what they're doing. 671 00:32:20,635 --> 00:32:22,933 She's not an illegal immigrant, is she? 672 00:32:22,971 --> 00:32:24,199 Could I see the contract? 673 00:32:24,239 --> 00:32:26,070 Why is it so flat? 674 00:32:26,107 --> 00:32:29,599 Because the president cannot employ an illegal immigrant. 675 00:32:29,644 --> 00:32:31,441 - Let's use more spray. - Cover up. 676 00:32:31,479 --> 00:32:33,310 Let's keep working! 677 00:32:33,348 --> 00:32:34,872 Are we getting there? 678 00:32:38,453 --> 00:32:41,820 Good. Put the village behind her. 679 00:32:49,964 --> 00:32:52,432 Gimme some flames. 680 00:32:54,936 --> 00:32:57,302 How about some screaming? 681 00:32:57,338 --> 00:32:58,635 Screaming's good. 682 00:32:58,673 --> 00:33:00,607 Some sound of screaming. 683 00:33:04,579 --> 00:33:07,878 What might be good is ooh-ahh sirens. 684 00:33:07,916 --> 00:33:09,907 You know. Anne Frank. 685 00:33:09,951 --> 00:33:12,010 That's good. 686 00:33:12,053 --> 00:33:13,987 Find us the Anne Frank sirens. 687 00:33:14,022 --> 00:33:15,853 That's chilling. That's good. 688 00:33:15,890 --> 00:33:17,357 That's giving me goose bumps. 689 00:33:18,460 --> 00:33:19,950 Find us the ooh-ahhs. 690 00:33:26,801 --> 00:33:28,962 We're gonna be back in Washington when? 691 00:33:29,003 --> 00:33:30,527 We'll be back tonight. 692 00:33:30,572 --> 00:33:32,233 Tonight is... 693 00:33:32,273 --> 00:33:35,208 It seems that Senator Neal has discovered something. 694 00:33:35,243 --> 00:33:37,803 It makes no difference about Senator Neal. 695 00:33:37,846 --> 00:33:40,610 I don't care what he's got. We got a war. 696 00:33:42,717 --> 00:33:44,412 Look at that girl. 697 00:33:44,452 --> 00:33:45,942 Doesn't she look Albanian? 698 00:33:45,987 --> 00:33:48,478 She looks like she was born and raised in Albania. 699 00:33:49,891 --> 00:33:52,359 I got an instinct for casting. Don't ask me why. 700 00:33:52,393 --> 00:33:54,327 We're gonna do it again, sweetie. 701 00:33:54,362 --> 00:33:56,592 - What's her name, Stacey? - Tracy. 702 00:33:56,631 --> 00:33:58,895 One more time. You're doing fine. 703 00:34:01,169 --> 00:34:03,637 Could she be running across a bridge? 704 00:34:05,039 --> 00:34:08,099 She's running across a burning bridge. 705 00:34:15,083 --> 00:34:17,779 - That looks good. - That's beautiful. 706 00:34:17,819 --> 00:34:19,616 Of course, we'll need some water. 707 00:34:19,654 --> 00:34:21,451 Is it a stream? 708 00:34:21,489 --> 00:34:22,854 I think... 709 00:34:22,891 --> 00:34:25,257 - A pond? - I think... 710 00:34:25,293 --> 00:34:27,818 I think it's a calico kitten. 711 00:34:27,862 --> 00:34:30,422 She's running across with a kitten. 712 00:34:30,465 --> 00:34:32,899 Can we have a calico kitten? Please? 713 00:34:32,934 --> 00:34:35,562 Floyd, punch in a calico kitten. 714 00:34:35,603 --> 00:34:37,230 I have 19 screens here. 715 00:34:37,272 --> 00:34:39,035 I can't see one calico kitten. 716 00:34:39,073 --> 00:34:42,770 The thinking is a small calico kitten, sir. 717 00:34:50,518 --> 00:34:52,418 We have a small calico kitten. 718 00:34:55,557 --> 00:34:57,422 - What? - He wants a white one. 719 00:34:57,458 --> 00:34:59,392 He wants a white one? 720 00:35:01,062 --> 00:35:02,586 Let me talk to him. 721 00:35:02,630 --> 00:35:04,598 He's mobilizing the sixth fleet. 722 00:35:04,632 --> 00:35:06,429 Can I talk to him? 723 00:35:06,467 --> 00:35:08,230 He's mobilizing the sixth fleet. 724 00:35:09,871 --> 00:35:12,806 I hate it when they start to meddle. 725 00:35:12,840 --> 00:35:14,307 Can we have a white one? 726 00:35:14,342 --> 00:35:15,707 He wants a white one. 727 00:35:19,547 --> 00:35:20,844 Thank you. 728 00:35:30,758 --> 00:35:32,419 Are we ready yet? 729 00:35:32,460 --> 00:35:35,452 How soon can we get this cut? 730 00:35:35,496 --> 00:35:37,191 4 or 5 hours. 731 00:35:37,231 --> 00:35:40,166 That's good. We can leak that to the press... 732 00:35:40,201 --> 00:35:42,726 they can downlink it on Tel star 401, transporter 21. 733 00:35:44,439 --> 00:35:46,464 Makes you glad you've lived this long. 734 00:35:48,977 --> 00:35:52,504 This just in... a special report from the Albanian front. 735 00:35:52,547 --> 00:35:53,912 We've just received information... 736 00:35:53,948 --> 00:35:57,213 the young Albanian national fleeing in this video... 737 00:35:57,251 --> 00:35:59,151 is attempting to escape terrorist reprisals... 738 00:35:59,187 --> 00:36:00,449 in her village. 739 00:36:05,493 --> 00:36:07,484 America has seldom witnessed... 740 00:36:07,528 --> 00:36:09,655 a more poignant picture of the human race... 741 00:36:09,697 --> 00:36:11,722 Fantastic. 742 00:36:11,766 --> 00:36:13,427 They used the same process... 743 00:36:13,468 --> 00:36:15,095 with the last Schwarzenegger movie. 744 00:36:16,504 --> 00:36:18,199 Isn't that amazing how they do that? 745 00:36:18,239 --> 00:36:20,571 This is only the beginning. 746 00:36:20,608 --> 00:36:22,337 Wait till we get the song. 747 00:36:22,377 --> 00:36:25,073 Then you got the song, image, merchandising tie-ins. 748 00:36:25,113 --> 00:36:26,444 This is only the beginning. 749 00:36:26,481 --> 00:36:29,507 We were right. You're the man. 750 00:36:29,550 --> 00:36:31,609 To the beginning. 751 00:36:31,653 --> 00:36:33,120 Got your car. 752 00:36:33,154 --> 00:36:35,850 I hate it when they send these long ones. 753 00:36:35,890 --> 00:36:38,415 - Did you make the turn OK? - Not a problem. 754 00:36:38,459 --> 00:36:40,586 I'm sorry. You think it's too ostentatious? 755 00:36:40,628 --> 00:36:42,027 Just fine. I'll stretch out. 756 00:36:42,063 --> 00:36:43,394 Good. Just make due. 757 00:36:44,932 --> 00:36:46,399 I'll see you in Nashville. 758 00:36:48,670 --> 00:36:50,831 Go with the two-tone hat. 759 00:36:50,872 --> 00:36:53,340 I don't care. You work it out. 760 00:36:53,374 --> 00:36:56,537 You. You must have had similar situations in the past. 761 00:36:56,577 --> 00:37:00,274 There are unconfirmed reports from a reliable source... 762 00:37:00,314 --> 00:37:02,145 that things are in motion. 763 00:37:02,183 --> 00:37:04,743 What I'm hearing... and this is a quote... 764 00:37:04,786 --> 00:37:06,686 "The president is looking for a swift... 765 00:37:06,721 --> 00:37:09,019 painless, and victorious conclusion to the war." 766 00:37:09,057 --> 00:37:12,151 However, the source will not go on record. 767 00:37:12,193 --> 00:37:15,321 All I can tell you is this comes from the highest level. 768 00:37:15,363 --> 00:37:17,194 New York Times, Washington Post... 769 00:37:17,231 --> 00:37:18,562 Detroit Register, Sacramento Bee... 770 00:37:18,599 --> 00:37:21,591 all in remission. No mention of the Firefly Girl. 771 00:37:21,636 --> 00:37:24,230 10 days to go. Big Bird lands when? 772 00:37:24,272 --> 00:37:25,796 Five a.m. 773 00:37:25,840 --> 00:37:27,137 Anything at the airport? 774 00:37:27,175 --> 00:37:28,904 The press thought no. What do you think? 775 00:37:28,943 --> 00:37:30,934 Here's what I think. Is it gonna rain? 776 00:37:30,978 --> 00:37:32,707 Can you give me the weather tomorrow morning? 777 00:37:32,747 --> 00:37:34,237 Andrews, five a.m. 778 00:37:34,282 --> 00:37:36,341 A young Albanian girl... 779 00:37:36,384 --> 00:37:38,147 dressed in her... whatever. 780 00:37:38,186 --> 00:37:41,713 Is there some harvest festival... 781 00:37:41,756 --> 00:37:44,088 an Albanian harvest festival, something like that? 782 00:37:44,125 --> 00:37:46,355 Find me an Albanian harvest festival. 783 00:37:46,394 --> 00:37:47,691 There's gotta be something. 784 00:37:47,729 --> 00:37:49,856 Anyway, she gives him the sacred whatever it is... 785 00:37:49,897 --> 00:37:52,661 telling him this is a sacred traditional offering... 786 00:37:52,700 --> 00:37:55,168 given to the man who ties the first sheaf... 787 00:37:55,203 --> 00:37:57,330 the last sheaf, who knows what sheaf? 788 00:37:57,371 --> 00:37:58,770 Is she saying this in Albanian? 789 00:37:58,806 --> 00:38:00,103 She's speaking in Albanian... 790 00:38:00,141 --> 00:38:02,405 because this is the only way it can be understood... 791 00:38:02,443 --> 00:38:05,105 by her sacred, sainted, and aged mother... 792 00:38:06,180 --> 00:38:08,080 We're picking them up now. 793 00:38:08,116 --> 00:38:11,347 The old lady starts to speak. 794 00:38:11,385 --> 00:38:13,250 "You have brought peace not only to this..." 795 00:38:13,287 --> 00:38:15,653 The child speaks. 796 00:38:15,690 --> 00:38:17,555 A face of innocence, no cynicism. 797 00:38:17,592 --> 00:38:18,889 The child says... 798 00:38:18,926 --> 00:38:20,553 Are you getting this? 799 00:38:20,595 --> 00:38:23,359 The old broad starts to cry. 800 00:38:23,397 --> 00:38:25,365 Big Bird shrugs off his secret service... 801 00:38:25,399 --> 00:38:27,526 covers her with his coat, end of story. 802 00:38:27,568 --> 00:38:31,368 Can you find out if we could get some rain tomorrow? 803 00:38:31,405 --> 00:38:33,236 How is Big Bird holding up? 804 00:38:33,274 --> 00:38:34,502 He's good. 805 00:38:34,542 --> 00:38:37,534 He does want to know... what does Motss want? 806 00:38:37,578 --> 00:38:40,103 I don't know. Ambassador to Togo. 807 00:38:40,148 --> 00:38:43,447 No rain tomorrow at Andrews, but there's rain at Boca Raton. 808 00:38:43,484 --> 00:38:45,452 Then direct the plane to Boca. 809 00:38:45,486 --> 00:38:47,716 Connie says divert the plane to Boca. 810 00:38:54,595 --> 00:38:55,857 What's happening? 811 00:39:12,180 --> 00:39:14,171 Can I help you? 812 00:39:14,215 --> 00:39:15,546 What's the problem? 813 00:39:16,784 --> 00:39:18,274 We're in a rush. 814 00:39:18,319 --> 00:39:20,583 Do you know who we are? 815 00:39:20,621 --> 00:39:22,486 I'm afraid that's the trouble, Miss Ames. 816 00:39:22,523 --> 00:39:24,286 CIA. 817 00:39:31,299 --> 00:39:33,392 I have this to say... 818 00:39:42,476 --> 00:39:45,468 ...every American man, woman, and child... 819 00:39:45,513 --> 00:39:47,174 What am I gonna do? 820 00:39:47,215 --> 00:39:48,648 I have a three-year-old daughter... 821 00:39:48,683 --> 00:39:50,514 eventually headed for orthodonture. 822 00:39:50,551 --> 00:39:53,384 Now that the CIA knows, I'm gonna lose everything... 823 00:39:53,421 --> 00:39:55,616 my career, my reputation. What am I gonna do? 824 00:39:55,656 --> 00:39:57,624 Brazen it through. 825 00:39:57,658 --> 00:39:59,387 Took you long enough. 826 00:39:59,427 --> 00:40:01,520 We found them as soon as we could. 827 00:40:01,562 --> 00:40:03,427 All right. 828 00:40:03,464 --> 00:40:06,433 After I'm done with them, what do they want me to do? 829 00:40:06,467 --> 00:40:08,867 Lug them back to the district or dump them in the country... 830 00:40:08,903 --> 00:40:10,393 let the FBI trip over them? 831 00:40:10,438 --> 00:40:12,429 Legal department says you pick. 832 00:40:12,473 --> 00:40:14,031 Depends on what we want to do with them. 833 00:40:14,075 --> 00:40:16,873 This is a special report on the war in Albania. 834 00:40:16,911 --> 00:40:18,503 We've just received more details... 835 00:40:18,546 --> 00:40:20,514 on the Albanian girl running for her life. 836 00:40:20,548 --> 00:40:22,175 The young girl was trying to escape... 837 00:40:22,216 --> 00:40:24,184 after hearing her family was killed. 838 00:40:24,218 --> 00:40:26,618 Apparently, there was a family connection in Canada. 839 00:40:31,125 --> 00:40:32,649 Two things I know to be true... 840 00:40:33,828 --> 00:40:36,763 there's no difference between good flan and bad flan... 841 00:40:36,797 --> 00:40:38,321 and there is no war. 842 00:40:38,366 --> 00:40:39,663 Guess who I am. 843 00:40:39,700 --> 00:40:42,692 I would like to point out that I am under medical care... 844 00:40:42,737 --> 00:40:45,171 and taking medication, side effects of which have... 845 00:40:45,206 --> 00:40:46,867 Quite touching. 846 00:40:46,908 --> 00:40:48,569 I also take this opportunity... 847 00:40:48,609 --> 00:40:51,305 to suggest that, equally, I admit to nothing... 848 00:40:51,345 --> 00:40:52,903 and I would like my lawyer present. 849 00:40:52,947 --> 00:40:54,881 We show, and NSA confirms... 850 00:40:54,916 --> 00:40:57,783 there are no nuclear devices on the Canadian border. 851 00:40:57,818 --> 00:41:00,048 There are no nuclear devices in Albania. 852 00:41:00,087 --> 00:41:02,078 Albania has no nuclear capacity. 853 00:41:02,123 --> 00:41:03,784 Our spy satellites... 854 00:41:03,824 --> 00:41:05,985 show no secret terrorist training camps... 855 00:41:06,027 --> 00:41:07,961 in the Albanian hinterland. 856 00:41:07,995 --> 00:41:10,964 The border patrol, the FBI, the RCMP report... 857 00:41:10,998 --> 00:41:14,627 no... repeat... no untoward activity... 858 00:41:14,669 --> 00:41:16,967 along our picturesque Canadian border. 859 00:41:17,004 --> 00:41:19,996 The Albanian government is screaming its defense. 860 00:41:20,041 --> 00:41:21,338 The world is listening. 861 00:41:21,375 --> 00:41:22,808 There is no war. 862 00:41:22,843 --> 00:41:25,368 There's a war. I'm watching it on television. 863 00:41:25,413 --> 00:41:27,404 Who might you be? 864 00:41:27,448 --> 00:41:30,042 - Conrad Brean. - Who do you work for? 865 00:41:30,084 --> 00:41:33,485 Nobody whose name you want me to say. 866 00:41:33,521 --> 00:41:36,581 It's all well, but when the fit hits the shan... 867 00:41:36,624 --> 00:41:38,216 somebody has to stay after school. 868 00:41:38,259 --> 00:41:39,749 Who might that be? 869 00:41:39,794 --> 00:41:42,126 I don't know what you're talking about. 870 00:41:42,163 --> 00:41:44,631 The spy satellites show it. 871 00:41:44,665 --> 00:41:45,962 They show no war. 872 00:41:46,000 --> 00:41:47,524 Then what good are they? 873 00:41:47,568 --> 00:41:50,901 Why spend a quarter trillion dollars a year on defense? 874 00:41:50,938 --> 00:41:52,371 What good are they? 875 00:41:52,406 --> 00:41:53,839 Are they useless or just broken? 876 00:41:53,874 --> 00:41:55,739 I would like to point out further... 877 00:41:55,776 --> 00:41:57,641 that these medications taken in conjunction... 878 00:41:57,678 --> 00:42:00,340 If there's no threat, then where are you? 879 00:42:00,381 --> 00:42:02,008 If there's no threat, what good are you? 880 00:42:02,049 --> 00:42:04,244 You are the threat. 881 00:42:04,285 --> 00:42:05,684 I'm the threat? 882 00:42:05,720 --> 00:42:07,153 What have I been doing the last 30 years... 883 00:42:07,188 --> 00:42:09,179 that you haven't been doing? 884 00:42:09,223 --> 00:42:11,054 The last 30 years... 885 00:42:11,092 --> 00:42:13,026 I have been working to ensure the security of my country. 886 00:42:13,060 --> 00:42:16,120 I'm sure that speaks well of you and your parents... 887 00:42:16,163 --> 00:42:18,495 but if forced to choose between the security of your country... 888 00:42:18,532 --> 00:42:20,796 and the security of your job, which would you pick? 889 00:42:20,835 --> 00:42:23,429 While you hesitate, permit me to suggest... 890 00:42:23,471 --> 00:42:25,803 that they are one in the same. 891 00:42:25,840 --> 00:42:28,331 I'm doing my job. That's what you see me doing. 892 00:42:28,376 --> 00:42:29,968 I'm doing my job, too. 893 00:42:30,011 --> 00:42:31,239 The constant stress I am under... 894 00:42:31,278 --> 00:42:34,179 Let me ask you a simple question. 895 00:42:34,215 --> 00:42:36,547 Why do people go to war? 896 00:42:36,584 --> 00:42:39,109 I'll play your silly game. 897 00:42:39,153 --> 00:42:40,415 To ensure their way of life. 898 00:42:40,454 --> 00:42:42,445 - Would you fight to do that? - I have. 899 00:42:42,490 --> 00:42:45,186 If you went to war again, who would it be against? 900 00:42:45,226 --> 00:42:47,456 Your ability to fight a two-ocean war against who? 901 00:42:47,495 --> 00:42:48,723 Sweden and Togo? 902 00:42:48,763 --> 00:42:50,856 That time has passed. It's over. 903 00:42:50,898 --> 00:42:53,662 The war of the future is nuclear terrorism. 904 00:42:53,701 --> 00:42:55,635 It'll be against a small group of dissidents... 905 00:42:55,669 --> 00:42:58,763 who, unbeknownst perhaps to their own governments, have... 906 00:42:58,806 --> 00:43:01,001 To go to that war, you have to be prepared. 907 00:43:01,042 --> 00:43:03,533 You gotta be alert. The public has gotta be alert... 908 00:43:03,577 --> 00:43:05,772 because that is the war of the future... 909 00:43:05,813 --> 00:43:08,577 and if you're not gearing up to fight that war... 910 00:43:08,616 --> 00:43:10,743 then the ax will fall. You'll be out in the street. 911 00:43:10,785 --> 00:43:13,879 You can call this a drill, call this job security... 912 00:43:13,921 --> 00:43:16,355 call it anything you like, but I got one for you. 913 00:43:16,390 --> 00:43:18,051 Go to war to preserve your way of life? 914 00:43:18,092 --> 00:43:21,391 Chuck, this is your way of life. 915 00:43:21,429 --> 00:43:23,397 If your spy satellites don't see nothing... 916 00:43:23,431 --> 00:43:25,023 if there ain't no war... 917 00:43:25,066 --> 00:43:28,035 then you can go home and take up golf... 918 00:43:28,069 --> 00:43:30,128 'cause there ain't no war but ours. 919 00:43:34,575 --> 00:43:35,872 Thank you. 920 00:43:37,044 --> 00:43:38,636 Drive carefully. 921 00:43:47,455 --> 00:43:48,683 Nice enough people. 922 00:43:48,722 --> 00:43:50,314 They just hadn't thought it through. 923 00:43:50,357 --> 00:43:52,188 You talked us out of there. 924 00:43:52,226 --> 00:43:54,387 We got delayed. We're going to Nashville. 925 00:43:54,428 --> 00:43:55,656 What? 926 00:43:55,696 --> 00:43:57,493 You could talk a dog off a meat truck. 927 00:43:57,531 --> 00:43:59,431 Thank you. 928 00:43:59,467 --> 00:44:00,900 We just got stuck. 929 00:44:00,935 --> 00:44:03,631 All systems five-by-five. See you in Nashville. 930 00:44:03,671 --> 00:44:05,263 You saved our bacon. 931 00:44:05,306 --> 00:44:07,536 It was just a... 932 00:44:07,575 --> 00:44:09,941 a phenomenal performance. 933 00:44:09,977 --> 00:44:11,569 You turned them around. 934 00:44:13,214 --> 00:44:14,772 They hadn't thought it through. 935 00:44:21,755 --> 00:44:23,916 He's moving across the tarmac. 936 00:44:27,027 --> 00:44:30,121 But it appears something has distracted the president... 937 00:44:30,164 --> 00:44:32,655 and he has stopped moving toward the waiting motorcade. 938 00:44:32,700 --> 00:44:34,497 There's a little girl... 939 00:44:34,535 --> 00:44:36,400 trying to speak to the president. 940 00:44:36,437 --> 00:44:38,268 It seems she's speaking in... 941 00:44:38,305 --> 00:44:39,795 Is it Albanian? 942 00:44:39,840 --> 00:44:41,603 Can we get someone to translate? 943 00:44:42,977 --> 00:44:45,241 Dan, I think what she is saying... 944 00:44:45,279 --> 00:44:49,238 is that this wheat offering is sort of ceremonial... 945 00:44:49,283 --> 00:44:51,843 and that it is the first sheaf... 946 00:44:51,886 --> 00:44:53,581 the first cut of the harvest. 947 00:44:53,621 --> 00:44:55,612 I'm not proficient in Albanian... 948 00:44:55,656 --> 00:44:57,283 but the old woman is quite taken... 949 00:44:57,324 --> 00:44:59,588 as the president is offering her the coat. 950 00:44:59,627 --> 00:45:02,255 It is quite an emotional moment here. 951 00:45:02,296 --> 00:45:04,628 There comes a time... 952 00:45:05,533 --> 00:45:08,832 in the course of human events... 953 00:45:09,537 --> 00:45:12,301 when a threat must be answered... 954 00:45:13,240 --> 00:45:15,071 with courage and strength. 955 00:45:16,177 --> 00:45:19,669 Our forefathers earned... 956 00:45:19,713 --> 00:45:22,147 the right to be free. 957 00:45:22,183 --> 00:45:24,845 Now it's time... 958 00:45:24,885 --> 00:45:28,878 to guard their dream. 959 00:45:28,923 --> 00:45:32,017 We guard... 960 00:45:32,059 --> 00:45:36,223 our American borders. 961 00:45:36,263 --> 00:45:38,697 We guard... 962 00:45:38,732 --> 00:45:41,895 the American dream. 963 00:45:41,936 --> 00:45:44,598 We guard our right... 964 00:45:44,638 --> 00:45:49,575 to fight for democracy... 965 00:45:49,610 --> 00:45:55,105 and keep our country free. 966 00:45:55,916 --> 00:45:58,976 We guard... 967 00:45:59,019 --> 00:46:01,647 our American spirit. 968 00:46:03,390 --> 00:46:05,620 We guard... 969 00:46:05,659 --> 00:46:08,457 the American dream. 970 00:46:20,174 --> 00:46:22,404 Our country's built... 971 00:46:23,377 --> 00:46:25,538 on the rock of liberty. 972 00:46:26,747 --> 00:46:29,716 And we, as people... 973 00:46:29,750 --> 00:46:31,945 must keep it free. 974 00:46:31,986 --> 00:46:35,046 It is for life... 975 00:46:35,089 --> 00:46:36,386 liberty... 976 00:46:36,423 --> 00:46:39,620 the pursuit of happiness... 977 00:46:39,660 --> 00:46:44,791 Freedom, 'tis of thee. 978 00:46:46,567 --> 00:46:48,899 We guard... 979 00:46:48,936 --> 00:46:52,997 our American borders. 980 00:46:53,040 --> 00:46:55,474 We guard... 981 00:46:55,509 --> 00:46:58,478 the American dream. 982 00:46:59,647 --> 00:47:01,615 I loved the fat, wet Albanian broad. 983 00:47:01,649 --> 00:47:02,946 Thank you. 984 00:47:02,983 --> 00:47:04,746 You know why? It was understated. 985 00:47:04,785 --> 00:47:06,514 You got lucky with the rain, too. 986 00:47:06,553 --> 00:47:08,885 We had to divert the plane to Boca Raton. 987 00:47:08,922 --> 00:47:11,254 You should have come to me. We have rain machines. 988 00:47:11,292 --> 00:47:12,623 I'm a producer. I make rain. 989 00:47:12,660 --> 00:47:14,059 Next time. 990 00:47:15,162 --> 00:47:16,754 I have just gotten word... 991 00:47:16,797 --> 00:47:20,130 that the situation in Albania is resolved... 992 00:47:20,167 --> 00:47:22,431 that it is resolved. 993 00:47:22,469 --> 00:47:24,164 The CIA confirms... 994 00:47:24,204 --> 00:47:27,173 that our troops along the Canadian border... 995 00:47:27,207 --> 00:47:29,937 and overseas are standing down. 996 00:47:31,211 --> 00:47:35,272 I must take this opportunity to call upon our president... 997 00:47:35,316 --> 00:47:37,409 What does he mean, the situation has been resolved? 998 00:47:37,451 --> 00:47:39,112 He just ended the war. 999 00:47:39,153 --> 00:47:40,415 He ended the war? 1000 00:47:40,454 --> 00:47:41,887 Why did he do that? 1001 00:47:41,922 --> 00:47:43,446 I think the CIA cut a better deal. 1002 00:47:43,490 --> 00:47:44,752 He ended the war? 1003 00:47:47,628 --> 00:47:49,118 He can't end the war. 1004 00:47:49,163 --> 00:47:51,188 He's not producing this. 1005 00:47:54,702 --> 00:47:56,431 This is in bad taste. 1006 00:47:56,470 --> 00:47:57,801 Can we stop this? 1007 00:48:00,674 --> 00:48:02,198 Stop. It's over. 1008 00:48:03,677 --> 00:48:05,269 Can we stop this? 1009 00:48:05,312 --> 00:48:06,802 Stop the choir. 1010 00:48:08,816 --> 00:48:10,579 It has been quite a week, Richard. 1011 00:48:10,617 --> 00:48:12,949 I can't remember when any president... 1012 00:48:12,986 --> 00:48:14,749 was hit with the flu, a war... 1013 00:48:14,788 --> 00:48:17,382 and accused of sexual misconduct by a teenage girl... 1014 00:48:17,424 --> 00:48:18,857 all in the same seven-day period. 1015 00:48:18,892 --> 00:48:22,589 This, of course, only days before he runs for reelection. 1016 00:48:22,629 --> 00:48:24,995 We've just received information from sources at the CIA... 1017 00:48:25,032 --> 00:48:28,195 that confirms the cessation of hostilities... 1018 00:48:28,235 --> 00:48:29,497 The CIA. 1019 00:48:32,740 --> 00:48:34,674 I thought they let us out too easily. 1020 00:48:34,708 --> 00:48:36,573 The war's over. 1021 00:48:36,610 --> 00:48:38,635 It's over. I saw it on television. 1022 00:48:38,679 --> 00:48:39,941 I have to sell my house. 1023 00:48:39,980 --> 00:48:43,108 The war is not over. 1024 00:48:43,150 --> 00:48:44,515 I saw it on TV. 1025 00:48:44,551 --> 00:48:47,315 That's what you hired me for. 1026 00:48:47,354 --> 00:48:49,788 The war isn't over until I say it's over. 1027 00:48:49,823 --> 00:48:52,257 This is my picture. This is not the CIA's picture. 1028 00:48:52,292 --> 00:48:55,261 You think you're in a tight spot now? 1029 00:48:55,295 --> 00:48:58,059 Try making The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. 1030 00:48:58,098 --> 00:49:00,066 Three of the horsemen died. 1031 00:49:00,100 --> 00:49:02,898 Hear what he's saying? Three of the horsemen died... 1032 00:49:02,936 --> 00:49:05,166 two weeks before the end of principal photography. 1033 00:49:05,205 --> 00:49:07,469 This is nothing. 1034 00:49:07,508 --> 00:49:10,705 This is just Act One, "The War." 1035 00:49:10,744 --> 00:49:14,703 We really do need an Act Two, so we work. 1036 00:49:14,748 --> 00:49:15,976 Act Two. 1037 00:49:16,016 --> 00:49:17,381 You know what it's like? 1038 00:49:17,418 --> 00:49:19,113 The Japanese. In the caves. 1039 00:49:19,153 --> 00:49:21,246 - Go on. - Okinawa. 1040 00:49:21,288 --> 00:49:23,222 They didn't believe the war was over. 1041 00:49:23,257 --> 00:49:25,350 We have a guy who doesn't believe... 1042 00:49:25,392 --> 00:49:27,519 We have an American serviceman. 1043 00:49:27,561 --> 00:49:30,428 A brave American serviceman is left behind. 1044 00:49:30,464 --> 00:49:32,659 A hero. 1045 00:49:32,699 --> 00:49:34,963 I can't believe it. What was I thinking? 1046 00:49:35,002 --> 00:49:36,765 We had a war. We forgot the hero. 1047 00:49:36,804 --> 00:49:39,637 You can't have a war and not have a hero. 1048 00:49:39,673 --> 00:49:41,038 It's like we sent a Christmas card... 1049 00:49:41,074 --> 00:49:42,632 and left out the... What do you call it? 1050 00:49:42,676 --> 00:49:43,973 - Fruitcake. - There you go. 1051 00:49:44,011 --> 00:49:45,979 Let's work. 1052 00:49:46,013 --> 00:49:48,106 We got a guy who's left behind, so... 1053 00:49:48,148 --> 00:49:50,742 This is terrific. This is lucky this happened. 1054 00:49:50,784 --> 00:49:52,752 He was left behind, just discarded... 1055 00:49:52,786 --> 00:49:55,983 like an old shoe. 1056 00:49:56,023 --> 00:49:57,251 That's good. 1057 00:49:57,291 --> 00:49:59,020 What's good? What did I say? 1058 00:49:59,059 --> 00:50:00,287 - Shoe. - Old shoe? 1059 00:50:00,327 --> 00:50:01,589 It's just instinct. 1060 00:50:03,497 --> 00:50:05,692 Get me the Pentagon... 1061 00:50:05,732 --> 00:50:09,361 a list of people in all military special programs. 1062 00:50:09,403 --> 00:50:11,428 "Left behind like an old shoe." That is good. 1063 00:50:12,639 --> 00:50:14,573 I want to talk to Johnny. 1064 00:50:18,278 --> 00:50:19,506 What is it? 1065 00:50:19,546 --> 00:50:22,447 The war is over. 1066 00:50:22,483 --> 00:50:24,747 We're going to need a new song. 1067 00:50:24,785 --> 00:50:27,515 It should be a song about a shiny shoe... 1068 00:50:27,554 --> 00:50:30,114 a black patent shoe... 1069 00:50:30,157 --> 00:50:31,954 a good old shoe. 1070 00:50:31,992 --> 00:50:34,756 I was on my way to get drunk. 1071 00:50:34,795 --> 00:50:38,925 You get drunk, but I need a good old shoe song. 1072 00:50:38,966 --> 00:50:40,399 A ballad of loss... 1073 00:50:41,735 --> 00:50:44,101 - Want to help me? - Redemption. 1074 00:50:44,137 --> 00:50:46,970 Loss and redemption is very good. 1075 00:50:47,007 --> 00:50:50,204 Shit. What key do you want it in? 1076 00:50:50,244 --> 00:50:51,711 I don't know keys. 1077 00:50:52,880 --> 00:50:56,714 People here are depressed because the war just ended. 1078 00:50:56,750 --> 00:50:58,877 Please give me a new song. 1079 00:50:58,919 --> 00:51:00,716 I got him. 1080 00:51:00,754 --> 00:51:02,881 King, Pentagon. 1081 00:51:02,923 --> 00:51:04,447 Take it. 1082 00:51:04,491 --> 00:51:08,120 I need a list of military special programs. 1083 00:51:08,161 --> 00:51:10,561 Bottom of the ninth. 1084 00:51:10,597 --> 00:51:12,264 They don't know who they're playing with. 1085 00:51:13,667 --> 00:51:15,726 They don't shut down our picture. 1086 00:51:15,769 --> 00:51:17,600 You people gonna be long? 1087 00:51:17,638 --> 00:51:19,538 Otherwise, I'll put away the equipment. 1088 00:51:19,573 --> 00:51:20,801 I don't know what I'm doing. 1089 00:51:20,841 --> 00:51:23,605 I think I'm supposed to be writing a song. 1090 00:51:23,644 --> 00:51:25,077 What kind of song? 1091 00:51:25,112 --> 00:51:27,444 Is there anybody there named... 1092 00:51:27,481 --> 00:51:29,415 Schumann? 1093 00:51:29,449 --> 00:51:31,747 - Schuster? - Schumacher. 1094 00:51:31,785 --> 00:51:33,047 I got a great idea. 1095 00:51:34,788 --> 00:51:36,722 Old shoe, new shoe. 1096 00:51:38,525 --> 00:51:40,550 Daddy had a hound dog... 1097 00:51:42,095 --> 00:51:43,790 used to call him Blue. 1098 00:51:46,600 --> 00:51:49,262 Follow me 'round... 1099 00:51:49,303 --> 00:51:51,863 stick to me like glue. 1100 00:51:55,876 --> 00:51:58,811 His favorite thing to play with... 1101 00:51:58,845 --> 00:52:00,904 used to be a good ol' shoe. 1102 00:52:00,948 --> 00:52:03,007 Wait a minute. Used to be. 1103 00:52:03,050 --> 00:52:04,745 You hit that 16-16. 1104 00:52:04,785 --> 00:52:06,776 Well, I wish I had a woman... 1105 00:52:08,021 --> 00:52:10,080 who was half as good and true. 1106 00:52:13,093 --> 00:52:15,584 Anybody here know Morse code? 1107 00:52:15,629 --> 00:52:16,960 What you gonna do? 1108 00:52:16,997 --> 00:52:18,328 Give me the fax. 1109 00:52:19,533 --> 00:52:21,501 Sergeant William Schumann, U.S. Army... 1110 00:52:21,535 --> 00:52:25,471 serial number 2131284262. 1111 00:52:26,740 --> 00:52:28,173 Good ol' shoe... 1112 00:52:28,208 --> 00:52:29,470 Here's the deal. 1113 00:52:30,811 --> 00:52:32,745 Good OI' Shoe. 1114 00:52:35,082 --> 00:52:36,743 Whatever you walk in... 1115 00:52:36,783 --> 00:52:38,375 he will get you through. 1116 00:52:38,418 --> 00:52:41,410 He's in a sweater... 1117 00:52:41,455 --> 00:52:43,047 and he's... 1118 00:52:43,090 --> 00:52:46,082 We drop him behind enemy lines. 1119 00:52:46,126 --> 00:52:47,684 He's trapped. 1120 00:52:47,728 --> 00:52:49,161 The sweater. 1121 00:52:49,196 --> 00:52:50,993 - In the sweater. - Good. 1122 00:52:52,232 --> 00:52:57,135 Is there a way we can make it sound old and scratchy... 1123 00:52:57,170 --> 00:52:58,865 with, like, a hiss? 1124 00:53:04,011 --> 00:53:05,308 With an old label. 1125 00:53:05,345 --> 00:53:06,812 I see where you're going. 1126 00:53:12,486 --> 00:53:14,681 Stand up straight and tall... 1127 00:53:14,721 --> 00:53:16,586 the way he taught you to. 1128 00:53:16,623 --> 00:53:18,386 I'll write a speech. 1129 00:53:20,093 --> 00:53:22,186 I'll help you with the speech. 1130 00:53:22,229 --> 00:53:25,096 The president reveals that William Schumann... 1131 00:53:27,334 --> 00:53:30,735 was trapped behind enemy lines. 1132 00:53:30,771 --> 00:53:32,705 This is good. 1133 00:53:32,739 --> 00:53:34,536 Heartfelt. 1134 00:53:34,574 --> 00:53:35,836 Touching. 1135 00:53:37,144 --> 00:53:38,406 People will weep. 1136 00:53:39,579 --> 00:53:42,173 Soul of a good ol' shoe. 1137 00:53:44,918 --> 00:53:47,182 He might even get to heaven... 1138 00:53:47,220 --> 00:53:50,280 on the soul of his good ol'... 1139 00:53:50,323 --> 00:53:52,985 shoe. 1140 00:53:57,531 --> 00:53:59,556 Here's the president's speech. 1141 00:53:59,599 --> 00:54:01,624 Put this in the Library of Congress. 1142 00:54:01,668 --> 00:54:03,363 Folk music section, 1930. 1143 00:54:03,403 --> 00:54:05,337 Right away, please. 1144 00:54:05,372 --> 00:54:08,102 Get it in the Library of Congress now. 1145 00:54:09,810 --> 00:54:12,074 Oh, God. 1146 00:54:12,112 --> 00:54:14,103 Who's seeing the CBS guy tonight? 1147 00:54:15,348 --> 00:54:18,647 Tonight, you remember some song from the folk song days... 1148 00:54:18,685 --> 00:54:20,050 about a good old shoe. 1149 00:54:20,087 --> 00:54:21,418 Tonight? 1150 00:54:21,455 --> 00:54:24,185 You're with him watching the president's speech... 1151 00:54:24,224 --> 00:54:25,486 What if he's busy? 1152 00:54:25,525 --> 00:54:28,221 - Lure him. - What are you saying? 1153 00:54:28,261 --> 00:54:31,424 I don't have to be your confessor, darling. 1154 00:54:31,465 --> 00:54:34,025 Tell him you've got info on the sex scandal... 1155 00:54:34,067 --> 00:54:35,364 it's on your conscience. 1156 00:54:35,402 --> 00:54:37,233 He'll drop whatever he's doing. 1157 00:54:38,472 --> 00:54:40,030 This is a shitty business. 1158 00:54:40,073 --> 00:54:42,234 It needs no ghost from the grave to tell us that... 1159 00:54:42,275 --> 00:54:44,709 but, Lord willing, eight days from now... 1160 00:54:44,745 --> 00:54:47,441 I'm gonna take you into the second term. 1161 00:54:47,481 --> 00:54:48,880 Wait till you hear the speech. 1162 00:54:48,915 --> 00:54:50,849 The 303 speech. Great. 1163 00:54:50,884 --> 00:54:52,681 Where's that Fad King? 1164 00:54:52,719 --> 00:54:53,947 I'll get him. 1165 00:54:53,987 --> 00:54:55,318 Could we go now? 1166 00:54:55,355 --> 00:54:57,789 A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow. 1167 00:54:57,824 --> 00:55:00,122 How are they doing on Sergeant Schumann? 1168 00:55:00,160 --> 00:55:01,957 They're working on him, they're finding him. 1169 00:55:01,995 --> 00:55:03,587 Good. It's working. 1170 00:55:03,630 --> 00:55:06,155 It's all happening. It's taking place around us. 1171 00:55:06,199 --> 00:55:09,896 It is in the works. It is being addressed. 1172 00:55:09,936 --> 00:55:11,233 We are being proactive. 1173 00:55:11,271 --> 00:55:14,434 We are going out with what may be the finest example... 1174 00:55:14,474 --> 00:55:17,204 Get me an update on the army, the Pentagon. 1175 00:55:17,244 --> 00:55:18,768 Get this guy Schumann. 1176 00:55:18,812 --> 00:55:20,177 Have him standing by. 1177 00:55:20,213 --> 00:55:24,411 I gotta tell you, I see a lot of glum faces. 1178 00:55:24,451 --> 00:55:25,975 Please don't be disconsolate. 1179 00:55:26,019 --> 00:55:29,284 This is politics at its finest. 1180 00:55:29,322 --> 00:55:32,382 This is where the rubber meets the road. 1181 00:55:32,425 --> 00:55:34,655 We've got a leader going out tonight... 1182 00:55:34,694 --> 00:55:36,355 to 95 million American homes. 1183 00:55:36,396 --> 00:55:38,125 He's gonna turn this thing around. 1184 00:55:38,165 --> 00:55:39,928 You think this is tough? 1185 00:55:39,966 --> 00:55:42,833 I was 4 months into production on The Song of Solomon... 1186 00:55:42,869 --> 00:55:44,427 found out I didn't have the rights. 1187 00:55:44,471 --> 00:55:46,063 Turn it up. It's our spot. 1188 00:55:46,106 --> 00:55:49,337 Tough? This is nothing. 1189 00:55:49,376 --> 00:55:52,607 Will you look at that shit? 1190 00:55:53,814 --> 00:55:56,180 'Cause you don't change horses in midstream. 1191 00:55:58,552 --> 00:56:00,986 Don't change horses. 1192 00:56:01,021 --> 00:56:02,420 This speech is good. 1193 00:56:02,455 --> 00:56:04,650 We're kinda locked into it, Mr. President. 1194 00:56:06,293 --> 00:56:08,420 For the future of our families... 1195 00:56:08,461 --> 00:56:10,588 The music. Where did they get that? 1196 00:56:14,568 --> 00:56:16,900 - Pain in the ass. - What? 1197 00:56:19,139 --> 00:56:21,607 He won't do the speech. 1198 00:56:21,641 --> 00:56:23,700 What do you mean? 1199 00:56:23,743 --> 00:56:25,574 What choice does he have? 1200 00:56:25,612 --> 00:56:27,580 He won't do the speech? 1201 00:56:27,614 --> 00:56:29,047 He says it's corny. 1202 00:56:29,082 --> 00:56:31,380 It's what? It's corny? 1203 00:56:32,652 --> 00:56:33,949 Of course it's corny. 1204 00:56:33,987 --> 00:56:36,649 We wouldn't have him say it if it wasn't. 1205 00:56:36,690 --> 00:56:38,123 It's not a question. 1206 00:56:38,158 --> 00:56:39,887 This is the center for rest of the thing. 1207 00:56:39,926 --> 00:56:41,154 Don't tell me it's corny. 1208 00:56:41,194 --> 00:56:43,628 We're locked into the speech, right? 1209 00:56:43,663 --> 00:56:44,891 We're locked in. 1210 00:56:44,931 --> 00:56:46,831 We are playing way past this. 1211 00:56:46,867 --> 00:56:48,198 We are past this. 1212 00:56:50,036 --> 00:56:51,663 This is what I need. 1213 00:56:51,705 --> 00:56:55,334 Get me 30 secretaries and put them in an office now. 1214 00:56:56,343 --> 00:56:58,368 I need to see the president. 1215 00:56:58,411 --> 00:57:00,242 I need 5 minutes. 1216 00:57:00,280 --> 00:57:02,214 Know what this reminds me of? 1217 00:57:02,249 --> 00:57:05,309 Years ago, when I first went out to Hollywood... 1218 00:57:05,352 --> 00:57:06,580 they said, "It's too theatrical." 1219 00:57:06,620 --> 00:57:09,714 I was from the theater. Everything was over their heads. 1220 00:57:09,756 --> 00:57:11,087 He thinks it's corny. 1221 00:57:11,124 --> 00:57:12,785 Don't tell me it's corny. 1222 00:57:12,826 --> 00:57:14,293 Tell him I'm comin'. 1223 00:57:14,327 --> 00:57:18,354 My fellow Americans, I thank a merciful God... 1224 00:57:18,398 --> 00:57:21,162 and I am sure each and every one of us... 1225 00:57:21,201 --> 00:57:23,135 will thank that Supreme Power... 1226 00:57:23,169 --> 00:57:26,400 whatever we conceive that power to be... 1227 00:57:26,439 --> 00:57:28,930 that peace is at hand. 1228 00:57:28,975 --> 00:57:32,638 The threat of nuclear terrorism has been quelled. 1229 00:57:32,679 --> 00:57:35,842 Mr. President, I'm using a little more projection... 1230 00:57:35,882 --> 00:57:39,511 because I think this speech needs a little... 1231 00:57:41,388 --> 00:57:42,685 Bear with me. 1232 00:57:44,190 --> 00:57:45,782 Beautiful. 1233 00:57:46,793 --> 00:57:48,420 Thank you so much. 1234 00:58:00,840 --> 00:58:03,001 That was so moving. 1235 00:58:03,043 --> 00:58:04,340 Thank you so much. 1236 00:58:04,377 --> 00:58:05,639 Thank you. 1237 00:58:11,885 --> 00:58:15,150 I felt very much at home in there. 1238 00:58:15,188 --> 00:58:16,780 Simple quirk of fate. 1239 00:58:16,823 --> 00:58:18,381 I could have gone this way. 1240 00:58:18,425 --> 00:58:19,824 It's all a change in wardrobe. 1241 00:58:21,027 --> 00:58:22,460 Was it too much? 1242 00:58:22,495 --> 00:58:25,487 I'll tell you. 1243 00:58:25,532 --> 00:58:26,794 You did it. 1244 00:58:27,867 --> 00:58:29,164 You jumped in there... 1245 00:58:29,202 --> 00:58:31,067 and saved the thing when the thing needed saving. 1246 00:58:31,104 --> 00:58:33,095 It wasn't too much? 1247 00:58:33,139 --> 00:58:34,970 Personally? 1248 00:58:35,008 --> 00:58:36,236 Maybe it was. 1249 00:58:36,276 --> 00:58:39,507 The president doesn't have to say it that way. 1250 00:58:39,546 --> 00:58:41,013 It's like Plato once said. 1251 00:58:41,047 --> 00:58:42,674 It doesn't matter how you get there... 1252 00:58:42,716 --> 00:58:43,978 as long as you get there. 1253 00:58:44,017 --> 00:58:45,279 He said that? 1254 00:58:45,318 --> 00:58:47,616 What is it exactly you do for the president? 1255 00:58:47,654 --> 00:58:50,748 My fellow Americans, I thank a merciful God... 1256 00:58:50,790 --> 00:58:54,726 and I'm sure all of us will thank that Supreme Power... 1257 00:58:54,761 --> 00:58:57,457 whatever we conceive that power to be... 1258 00:58:57,497 --> 00:59:00,057 that peace is at hand. 1259 00:59:04,804 --> 00:59:07,602 The threat of nuclear terrorism has been quelled. 1260 00:59:07,640 --> 00:59:11,132 We are in contact with the Albanian premier... 1261 00:59:11,177 --> 00:59:12,644 who assures me... 1262 00:59:12,679 --> 00:59:14,909 and this government credits his assurances... 1263 00:59:14,948 --> 00:59:17,439 his country does not wish us ill... 1264 00:59:17,484 --> 00:59:18,712 Know any Latin? 1265 00:59:18,752 --> 00:59:20,310 I, Claudius. That's what I know. 1266 00:59:20,353 --> 00:59:23,948 I need a Latin motto for the patch. 1267 00:59:23,990 --> 00:59:25,617 The 303 patch. 1268 00:59:25,658 --> 00:59:29,321 ...but by a designation number, 303. 1269 00:59:29,362 --> 00:59:33,594 A member was left behind what were then enemy lines. 1270 00:59:33,633 --> 00:59:37,797 I can only say to those family members of Group 303... 1271 00:59:37,837 --> 00:59:40,533 whose members are, I know as I speak... 1272 00:59:40,573 --> 00:59:41,972 gathering to comfort you. 1273 00:59:42,008 --> 00:59:44,476 To the parents of the missing man... 1274 00:59:44,511 --> 00:59:46,342 no effort will be spared... 1275 00:59:46,379 --> 00:59:50,008 to find this brave man and bring him home. 1276 00:59:50,050 --> 00:59:53,486 We've just received this photograph of Schumann... 1277 00:59:53,520 --> 00:59:56,614 held by a dissident group of Albanian terrorists. 1278 00:59:56,656 --> 00:59:59,784 I don't know how many of you know Morse code... 1279 00:59:59,826 --> 01:00:02,818 but could you bring the camera closer? 1280 01:00:02,862 --> 01:00:06,923 You'll see his sweater is worn. 1281 01:00:06,966 --> 01:00:09,434 It has been unraveled in places. 1282 01:00:09,469 --> 01:00:11,198 Those places form dashes and dots... 1283 01:00:11,237 --> 01:00:16,038 and those dots spell out a message in Morse code. 1284 01:00:16,076 --> 01:00:18,806 That message is, "Courage, Mom." 1285 01:00:21,281 --> 01:00:22,748 He got the message through. 1286 01:00:24,717 --> 01:00:26,617 Not bad for government work. 1287 01:00:26,653 --> 01:00:28,348 Having a good time? 1288 01:00:28,388 --> 01:00:30,652 Haven't had this much fun since live TV. 1289 01:00:30,690 --> 01:00:33,352 To the men and women of Unit 303... 1290 01:00:33,393 --> 01:00:35,861 to my fellow citizens, I say, "Courage, Mom." 1291 01:00:35,895 --> 01:00:39,854 I have informed Albania that we will not rest... 1292 01:00:39,899 --> 01:00:41,730 until the safe return of Sergeant Schumann. 1293 01:00:41,768 --> 01:00:45,966 I'm told his unit mates gave him the nickname "Old Shoe." 1294 01:00:46,005 --> 01:00:50,032 Wasn't there a folk song called "Old Shoe?" 1295 01:00:50,076 --> 01:00:53,170 Do you remember that? Something like... 1296 01:00:53,213 --> 01:00:56,205 I don't know. I can vaguely remember it. 1297 01:00:56,249 --> 01:00:58,479 Do you know what I'm talking about? 1298 01:01:00,787 --> 01:01:02,448 Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. 1299 01:01:02,489 --> 01:01:04,548 Good night and God bless. 1300 01:01:04,591 --> 01:01:08,994 Trump that, Senator Neal, you Howdy-Doody-looking vontz. 1301 01:01:09,028 --> 01:01:11,997 As we reported earlier, U.S. Serviceman Willie Schumann... 1302 01:01:12,031 --> 01:01:13,760 remains missing behind enemy lines... 1303 01:01:13,800 --> 01:01:16,166 It's all thinking ahead. 1304 01:01:16,202 --> 01:01:17,692 That's what producing is. 1305 01:01:17,737 --> 01:01:19,227 It's like being a plumber. 1306 01:01:21,074 --> 01:01:23,599 Do your job right, nobody should notice. 1307 01:01:23,643 --> 01:01:26,544 When you fuck up, everything gets full of shit. 1308 01:01:26,579 --> 01:01:28,308 ...symbol of the military team... 1309 01:01:28,348 --> 01:01:31,317 Sergeant William Schumann, the "Old Shoe." 1310 01:01:31,351 --> 01:01:34,013 Let's line up the president for the Peace Prize. 1311 01:01:34,053 --> 01:01:35,953 Our job ends on election day. 1312 01:01:35,989 --> 01:01:37,718 Come on. 1313 01:01:37,757 --> 01:01:40,920 Just for the symmetry of the thing? 1314 01:01:40,960 --> 01:01:42,222 That's right. 1315 01:01:42,262 --> 01:01:44,025 If Kissinger can win the Peace Prize... 1316 01:01:44,063 --> 01:01:47,328 I wouldn't be surprised if I'd won the Preakness. 1317 01:01:47,367 --> 01:01:50,894 But our guy did bring peace. 1318 01:01:50,937 --> 01:01:52,461 But there wasn't a war. 1319 01:01:52,505 --> 01:01:55,065 All the greater accomplishment. 1320 01:02:12,192 --> 01:02:14,660 Where's the money... 1321 01:02:14,694 --> 01:02:17,492 where's the tie-in with throwing away shoes? 1322 01:02:17,530 --> 01:02:19,225 Who pays you for that? 1323 01:02:19,265 --> 01:02:21,597 You throw away shoes. What are you gonna do? 1324 01:02:21,634 --> 01:02:23,101 Buy new ones. 1325 01:02:23,136 --> 01:02:25,331 We have some powerful new friends... 1326 01:02:25,371 --> 01:02:28,306 at the International Association of Shoe Manufacturers. 1327 01:02:28,341 --> 01:02:30,002 You guys sure get around. 1328 01:02:30,043 --> 01:02:32,170 Fad King is my hero. Want to go first? 1329 01:02:32,212 --> 01:02:33,975 Sure. 1330 01:02:34,013 --> 01:02:36,573 Attaboy. 1331 01:02:36,616 --> 01:02:38,277 History, Connie. 1332 01:02:40,253 --> 01:02:41,743 Those are ratty shoes. 1333 01:02:41,788 --> 01:02:44,018 That's why we're flinging them away. 1334 01:02:44,057 --> 01:02:47,049 You want to try some? Go ahead. 1335 01:02:47,093 --> 01:02:48,720 Attaboy. 1336 01:02:48,761 --> 01:02:50,626 Do it again. 1337 01:02:50,663 --> 01:02:52,426 Go ahead. Have a ball. 1338 01:02:56,035 --> 01:02:58,128 Watch this. 1339 01:03:01,374 --> 01:03:02,932 Go on, tell your friends. 1340 01:03:05,578 --> 01:03:07,409 This is interesting. 1341 01:03:07,447 --> 01:03:11,315 I have just been handed this. Something just discovered. 1342 01:03:11,351 --> 01:03:15,048 A 1930s recording, part of the folk song collection... 1343 01:03:15,088 --> 01:03:16,612 Of the Library of Congress... 1344 01:03:16,656 --> 01:03:20,023 and a fitting song, if I may say so, about Shoe. 1345 01:03:20,059 --> 01:03:21,856 Schumann is the military soldier... 1346 01:03:21,894 --> 01:03:23,794 who's been left behind enemy lines... 1347 01:03:32,405 --> 01:03:34,236 Jim, can I get a word with you? 1348 01:03:34,274 --> 01:03:36,367 Would you like to comment on Albania? 1349 01:03:38,011 --> 01:03:40,343 There is one thing I'd like to say. 1350 01:03:40,380 --> 01:03:44,282 This is to the Albanians that have this man. 1351 01:03:44,317 --> 01:03:47,616 I mean this from the bottom of my heart as one of your race. 1352 01:03:50,623 --> 01:03:52,818 I didn't know Jim Belushi was Albanian. 1353 01:03:59,265 --> 01:04:01,096 The search for Willie Schumann continues... 1354 01:04:31,064 --> 01:04:33,464 As soon as we land, I want a reflexologist. 1355 01:04:33,499 --> 01:04:34,761 Male or female? 1356 01:04:34,801 --> 01:04:36,428 The White House wants to know about... 1357 01:04:36,469 --> 01:04:37,731 the Congressional Medal of Honor. 1358 01:04:37,770 --> 01:04:39,328 - What about it? - For Schumann. 1359 01:04:39,372 --> 01:04:41,966 Wait a minute. We got 86% in favor. 1360 01:04:42,008 --> 01:04:45,273 We bring him back tomorrow, charts don't go down. 1361 01:04:45,311 --> 01:04:46,903 I don't want to tell them how to do their business... 1362 01:04:46,946 --> 01:04:48,413 but why don't they do it after the election? 1363 01:04:48,448 --> 01:04:50,678 Makes more sense, and it'll help them more. 1364 01:04:50,717 --> 01:04:52,742 When are you bringing him back? 1365 01:04:52,785 --> 01:04:54,753 King, show him the thing. 1366 01:04:54,787 --> 01:04:57,620 - It's not done yet. - Show it to him. 1367 01:04:57,657 --> 01:05:01,286 Talk about enlarging the market. Tell him. 1368 01:05:01,327 --> 01:05:03,852 Here it is. Artist's rendering of the memorial. 1369 01:05:03,896 --> 01:05:05,227 The memorial? 1370 01:05:05,264 --> 01:05:07,824 That's the memorial of the fallen. 1371 01:05:07,867 --> 01:05:09,232 Of the Albanian campaign. 1372 01:05:09,268 --> 01:05:11,293 - Lovely. - It's better than lovely. 1373 01:05:11,337 --> 01:05:13,396 This guy made a deal with Governor Kneehigh... 1374 01:05:13,439 --> 01:05:15,100 Senator Leahy. 1375 01:05:15,141 --> 01:05:17,666 You should see the granite you have to put in this thing. 1376 01:05:17,710 --> 01:05:19,644 Got a site picked out and everything. 1377 01:05:19,679 --> 01:05:21,647 The beauty part is... 1378 01:05:21,681 --> 01:05:23,581 guess who retains the merchandising rights. 1379 01:05:23,616 --> 01:05:25,277 Show him the clock? 1380 01:05:25,318 --> 01:05:27,081 Got it as a clock. 1381 01:05:27,120 --> 01:05:28,781 Lovely. 1382 01:05:28,821 --> 01:05:30,982 - Let's go. - When's Schumann coming back? 1383 01:05:31,023 --> 01:05:32,320 Getting him right now. 1384 01:05:32,358 --> 01:05:34,758 I need his neck size. 1385 01:05:34,794 --> 01:05:36,056 I think it's 171l2. 1386 01:05:36,095 --> 01:05:38,290 Thinking 171l2 is not good enough. 1387 01:05:38,331 --> 01:05:40,925 I'm an artist, not a factory worker. 1388 01:05:40,967 --> 01:05:43,094 What did he eat behind enemy lines? 1389 01:05:43,136 --> 01:05:44,728 Birds, snakes. 1390 01:05:44,771 --> 01:05:47,740 Bullshit. He ate tiny cheeseburgers in tin foil. 1391 01:05:47,774 --> 01:05:49,173 Pull a string, they heat themselves. 1392 01:05:49,208 --> 01:05:51,176 We call Burger King, Johnny Rockets. 1393 01:05:51,210 --> 01:05:53,678 We get the Shoe Burger with cheese and 303 sauce... 1394 01:05:53,713 --> 01:05:56,409 "Behind enemy lines or anytime." 1395 01:05:56,449 --> 01:05:57,916 That's the slogan. 1396 01:05:57,950 --> 01:06:00,783 I got the copyright on the Albanian kitten thing. 1397 01:06:00,820 --> 01:06:02,947 I'm gonna call Nike, get Rodman to dye his hair. 1398 01:06:02,989 --> 01:06:04,889 We'll have a sneaker... "Air Leopard." 1399 01:06:08,661 --> 01:06:10,424 ...a high school basketball game last night... 1400 01:06:10,463 --> 01:06:13,159 between Montgomery Bell and Blair Park. 1401 01:06:13,199 --> 01:06:14,666 Students, during the game... 1402 01:06:14,700 --> 01:06:17,328 in spontaneous moment of sheer patriotism... 1403 01:06:17,370 --> 01:06:20,635 threw their tennis shoes on the court by the hundreds, 1404 01:06:20,673 --> 01:06:22,197 just for the Old Shoe. 1405 01:06:22,241 --> 01:06:25,005 Bring him back. William Schumann... 1406 01:06:25,044 --> 01:06:27,012 There's no business like it. 1407 01:06:27,046 --> 01:06:29,640 Demonstrations are springing up all over the country... 1408 01:06:29,682 --> 01:06:32,412 as Americans show their patriotism. 1409 01:06:32,452 --> 01:06:35,649 You ought to get them to run that inaugural speech by me. 1410 01:06:35,688 --> 01:06:37,588 Inaugural speech? I don't know. 1411 01:06:37,623 --> 01:06:39,955 The White House staff won't give up that one. 1412 01:06:39,992 --> 01:06:44,019 Come on. Let me close out the thing in style. 1413 01:06:44,063 --> 01:06:46,156 I've come to feel it's my thing. 1414 01:06:46,199 --> 01:06:49,691 You take a job, and many times, it's just a job... 1415 01:06:51,704 --> 01:06:53,331 Hell of a ride. 1416 01:06:53,372 --> 01:06:54,930 Isn't it? 1417 01:06:54,974 --> 01:06:56,532 You take the bitter with the sweet... 1418 01:06:56,576 --> 01:06:58,271 or the sweet with the bitter. 1419 01:06:58,311 --> 01:06:59,608 What's that expression? 1420 01:07:02,882 --> 01:07:06,283 ...feeling good about the economy. 1421 01:07:06,319 --> 01:07:08,253 That's why we're voting for the president, Ed. 1422 01:07:08,287 --> 01:07:09,584 What do you think? 1423 01:07:09,622 --> 01:07:14,025 Bob, my mind wasn't 100% made up, but now it is. 1424 01:07:14,060 --> 01:07:17,723 Don't go changing horses in midstream. 1425 01:07:19,298 --> 01:07:20,993 Absolutely. 1426 01:07:21,033 --> 01:07:23,934 Who needs surprises these days? 1427 01:07:23,970 --> 01:07:25,460 For an economy you can rely on... 1428 01:07:25,505 --> 01:07:27,268 Fucking amateurs. 1429 01:07:28,941 --> 01:07:32,468 Pity of it is, two more days, and we bring it back home. 1430 01:07:32,512 --> 01:07:33,604 Knock wood. 1431 01:07:34,380 --> 01:07:35,870 Who's gonna know? 1432 01:07:36,716 --> 01:07:38,707 Who's gonna know what we did? 1433 01:07:39,986 --> 01:07:41,544 Pride of a job well done, Stan. 1434 01:07:41,587 --> 01:07:44,818 It's the pride of a job well done, but it's more. 1435 01:07:46,492 --> 01:07:49,484 It's the gratitude of your party and your president, right? 1436 01:07:50,329 --> 01:07:52,820 - Is that the thing? - Indeed it is. 1437 01:07:55,134 --> 01:07:58,228 Dean City, Oklahoma. Army special programs. 1438 01:07:58,271 --> 01:07:59,966 Tell 'em to bring Schumann to the plane. 1439 01:08:00,006 --> 01:08:02,440 We'll bring him back and stash him in the hospital. 1440 01:08:02,475 --> 01:08:05,569 Call the plane. Tell me where to pick him up. 1441 01:08:05,611 --> 01:08:07,636 I bet you're good at chess. 1442 01:08:08,848 --> 01:08:11,373 I would be, I could remember how all the pieces move. 1443 01:08:12,051 --> 01:08:13,450 We'll call you. 1444 01:08:14,554 --> 01:08:19,491 I'll do the same in His great name... 1445 01:08:19,525 --> 01:08:22,494 if you have courage, Mom. 1446 01:08:23,663 --> 01:08:27,793 I can always feel your love. 1447 01:08:29,135 --> 01:08:31,831 Send, and I'll receive. 1448 01:08:33,973 --> 01:08:36,441 Units of 303, the Defense Department... 1449 01:08:36,475 --> 01:08:38,500 confirmed early this morning, Albanian time... 1450 01:08:38,544 --> 01:08:42,378 stormed the mountain hideaway near the city of... 1451 01:08:42,415 --> 01:08:45,316 freeing a tired but happy William Schumann. 1452 01:08:45,351 --> 01:08:47,581 A high White House source confirms... 1453 01:08:47,620 --> 01:08:50,316 that he's expected in Washington tomorrow morning. 1454 01:08:50,356 --> 01:08:51,618 How's that? 1455 01:08:58,464 --> 01:09:00,329 When we touch down tomorrow... 1456 01:09:00,366 --> 01:09:01,993 Big Bird meets Schumann at the airport? 1457 01:09:02,034 --> 01:09:04,832 Big mistake. You got to bring him in by stages. 1458 01:09:04,870 --> 01:09:07,771 Big mistake to reveal Schumann before the election. 1459 01:09:07,807 --> 01:09:09,069 How so? 1460 01:09:09,108 --> 01:09:11,702 Sweetheart, Schumann is the shark. 1461 01:09:11,744 --> 01:09:13,712 Schumann is Jaws. 1462 01:09:13,746 --> 01:09:16,146 You have to tease 'em. 1463 01:09:16,182 --> 01:09:19,515 You don't put Jaws in the first reel of the movie. 1464 01:09:19,552 --> 01:09:21,520 It's the contract, sweetheart. 1465 01:09:21,554 --> 01:09:24,352 The contract with the election, whether they know it or not... 1466 01:09:24,390 --> 01:09:26,358 is vote for me Tuesday... 1467 01:09:26,392 --> 01:09:28,656 Wednesday, I will produce Schumann. 1468 01:09:28,694 --> 01:09:30,821 That's what they're paying their seven bucks for. 1469 01:09:30,863 --> 01:09:32,421 Know what I mean? 1470 01:09:32,465 --> 01:09:34,228 Whatever. 1471 01:09:34,266 --> 01:09:35,733 Everybody's gotta learn. 1472 01:09:35,768 --> 01:09:37,292 Any business. 1473 01:09:39,305 --> 01:09:40,567 You take the fruit of 40 years... 1474 01:09:40,606 --> 01:09:42,870 hard lessons, mistakes, and you call it wisdom. 1475 01:09:42,908 --> 01:09:44,136 That's the truth. 1476 01:09:44,176 --> 01:09:46,610 End of the day, just when you know something... 1477 01:09:46,646 --> 01:09:48,204 time to go home. 1478 01:09:48,247 --> 01:09:50,511 You got decades in you now. 1479 01:09:50,549 --> 01:09:52,676 You got decades left in you. 1480 01:09:52,718 --> 01:09:53,878 Yeah, but... 1481 01:09:55,988 --> 01:09:57,319 What could I do to top this? 1482 01:09:59,058 --> 01:10:02,926 The 37th Psalm. 1483 01:10:02,962 --> 01:10:07,661 I'll do the same in His great name... 1484 01:10:07,700 --> 01:10:10,498 if you have courage, Mom. 1485 01:10:10,536 --> 01:10:13,369 You see her? That was real tears. 1486 01:10:13,406 --> 01:10:15,636 We were gonna give her those drops. 1487 01:10:15,675 --> 01:10:17,802 - She cried. - Really? 1488 01:10:17,843 --> 01:10:20,277 - She cried real. - It looks it. 1489 01:10:20,312 --> 01:10:22,780 Pray for me... 1490 01:10:22,815 --> 01:10:25,147 and the USA. 1491 01:10:25,184 --> 01:10:28,585 Pray they never use the bomb. 1492 01:10:30,356 --> 01:10:32,517 What are you going to do after this? 1493 01:10:32,558 --> 01:10:34,185 They owe you big. 1494 01:10:34,226 --> 01:10:36,660 Ambassador to this or that, whatever. 1495 01:10:36,696 --> 01:10:38,163 Ambassador to what? 1496 01:10:38,197 --> 01:10:40,028 I don't even like to go to Brentwood. 1497 01:10:42,601 --> 01:10:44,626 That's what I want. 1498 01:10:44,670 --> 01:10:46,137 That's my reward. 1499 01:10:46,172 --> 01:10:47,400 That's the payoff. 1500 01:10:47,440 --> 01:10:49,738 You want to go to the Inaugural? 1501 01:10:49,775 --> 01:10:52,471 Might if I was asked. 1502 01:11:14,333 --> 01:11:16,995 This here, Schumann and us... 1503 01:11:17,036 --> 01:11:19,470 Look at that. King Kong and the trainers. 1504 01:11:19,505 --> 01:11:21,439 This is it. 1505 01:11:23,709 --> 01:11:26,542 I'm standing with this picture of Sergeant Willie Schumann. 1506 01:11:26,579 --> 01:11:30,379 He's become known to Americans simply as the Old Shoe... 1507 01:11:30,416 --> 01:11:32,509 This is gonna be a masterpiece. 1508 01:11:32,551 --> 01:11:34,348 Giving them what they want. 1509 01:11:34,386 --> 01:11:37,981 ...his Group 303 and left behind in enemy territory. 1510 01:11:38,023 --> 01:11:40,491 Here at Andrews Air Force Base... 1511 01:11:40,526 --> 01:11:42,443 they prepare for the return of Willie Schumann. 1512 01:11:49,502 --> 01:11:52,869 Sergeant Schumann, if I may, welcome to history. 1513 01:11:52,905 --> 01:11:54,702 Sergeant Schumann, I'm Ames. 1514 01:11:54,740 --> 01:11:56,401 Somebody named Brean? 1515 01:11:56,442 --> 01:11:57,909 Right here. 1516 01:11:57,943 --> 01:11:59,638 Sign here for me. 1517 01:12:01,313 --> 01:12:03,645 Captain, you want to take her up? 1518 01:12:03,682 --> 01:12:05,081 There's heavy weather back east. 1519 01:12:05,117 --> 01:12:06,414 What do you think? 1520 01:12:06,452 --> 01:12:08,977 6 to 5 and pick 'em. You want to chance it? 1521 01:12:09,021 --> 01:12:11,148 If it'll fly, let's fly. People are waiting. 1522 01:12:16,896 --> 01:12:19,228 A child at the airport breaks through the ranks... 1523 01:12:19,265 --> 01:12:23,065 runs to Old Shoe, rubs meat on Schumann's cuff. 1524 01:12:23,102 --> 01:12:25,662 A little dog runs to it. The dog loves Schumann. 1525 01:12:25,704 --> 01:12:28,070 He is a perfect war hero. 1526 01:12:28,107 --> 01:12:29,506 Perfect. 1527 01:12:29,542 --> 01:12:31,407 You cast him. 1528 01:12:31,443 --> 01:12:33,104 All right. Book it up. 1529 01:12:36,315 --> 01:12:37,714 What's this? 1530 01:12:37,750 --> 01:12:39,445 Keys to the manacles. 1531 01:12:42,688 --> 01:12:44,519 Oh, my God. 1532 01:12:44,557 --> 01:12:46,457 Wait. 1533 01:12:54,133 --> 01:12:56,795 What is the trouble? 1534 01:12:56,836 --> 01:12:59,327 No trouble at all, ma'am. 1535 01:12:59,371 --> 01:13:01,236 Then why is he in chains? 1536 01:13:02,241 --> 01:13:04,266 He's in chains because he's a convict. 1537 01:13:05,511 --> 01:13:06,773 A convict? 1538 01:13:11,317 --> 01:13:12,409 How you doing? 1539 01:13:26,332 --> 01:13:27,526 Take a look. 1540 01:13:32,838 --> 01:13:35,602 When we asked for special programs... 1541 01:13:35,641 --> 01:13:37,336 they gave us special prisons. 1542 01:13:37,376 --> 01:13:39,469 Only a one-word difference. 1543 01:13:39,511 --> 01:13:42,241 - Has he been in jail long? - 12 years. 1544 01:13:42,281 --> 01:13:43,680 Does he have much longer to serve? 1545 01:13:45,784 --> 01:13:46,978 What did he do? 1546 01:13:47,019 --> 01:13:48,782 He raped a nun. 1547 01:13:50,256 --> 01:13:53,157 - And... - I don't want to know an "and." 1548 01:13:53,192 --> 01:13:54,159 Why is there an "and"? 1549 01:13:55,194 --> 01:13:58,357 He's fine as long as he gets his medications. 1550 01:13:58,397 --> 01:14:00,331 And if he doesn't? 1551 01:14:00,366 --> 01:14:01,663 He's not fine. 1552 01:14:04,904 --> 01:14:06,337 Up there, Captain. 1553 01:14:08,274 --> 01:14:10,037 You'd better get us to Washington. 1554 01:14:15,547 --> 01:14:16,809 How are ya? 1555 01:14:18,684 --> 01:14:20,174 Fine. 1556 01:14:30,296 --> 01:14:31,820 Gonna get me back tomorrow? 1557 01:14:31,864 --> 01:14:35,425 'Cause, you know, tomorrow they're having beans. 1558 01:14:35,467 --> 01:14:37,992 I need a readjustment. We have to rethink this. 1559 01:14:38,037 --> 01:14:39,436 Beans! 1560 01:14:39,471 --> 01:14:41,405 We're trying to do this thing. 1561 01:14:41,440 --> 01:14:44,876 As long as you get me back for the beans. 1562 01:14:44,910 --> 01:14:46,935 He's sicker than we thought. 1563 01:14:46,979 --> 01:14:50,608 Rush him under wraps to Walter Reed for tests. 1564 01:14:50,649 --> 01:14:53,846 If you're gonna keep me out, I'd like to go to church. 1565 01:14:53,886 --> 01:14:55,285 You know what I mean? 1566 01:14:56,822 --> 01:14:58,653 Are you very religious? 1567 01:15:03,095 --> 01:15:04,824 What have you done to me? 1568 01:15:07,333 --> 01:15:10,359 All combat takes place at night in the rain... 1569 01:15:10,402 --> 01:15:11,926 at the junction of four map segments. 1570 01:15:11,971 --> 01:15:13,370 What are you going to do? 1571 01:15:13,405 --> 01:15:15,373 He's fine as long as he gets his medication. 1572 01:15:15,407 --> 01:15:19,366 Speaking of that, we're gonna need lots of this. 1573 01:15:19,411 --> 01:15:21,242 Get on the phone and get it. 1574 01:15:21,280 --> 01:15:23,908 You people are looking at this wrong. 1575 01:15:23,949 --> 01:15:25,917 If you look at the back story... 1576 01:15:25,951 --> 01:15:28,044 the guy is coming back from combat and torture... 1577 01:15:28,087 --> 01:15:30,021 of course he's going to be a little fucked up. 1578 01:15:31,290 --> 01:15:32,723 He's gonna need help. 1579 01:15:32,758 --> 01:15:36,353 Anybody want a beer? 'Cause I could party. 1580 01:15:36,395 --> 01:15:38,260 I'm gonna need an ambulance. 1581 01:15:38,297 --> 01:15:40,060 We take him the last moment from the plane. 1582 01:15:40,099 --> 01:15:43,967 We land, take him from the plane to the ambulance. 1583 01:15:44,003 --> 01:15:47,097 Air Force jet lands, we take somebody else from that jet. 1584 01:15:47,139 --> 01:15:49,334 What the fuck do I care? 1585 01:15:49,375 --> 01:15:50,933 Somebody in a hospital gown. 1586 01:15:50,976 --> 01:15:52,637 You get me back for the beans. 1587 01:15:52,678 --> 01:15:54,145 'Cause tomorrow's the beans. 1588 01:15:54,179 --> 01:15:55,771 'Cause this dog ain't gonna hunt. 1589 01:15:55,814 --> 01:15:58,214 He's gonna be fine. 1590 01:15:58,250 --> 01:15:59,512 Aren't you, William? 1591 01:15:59,551 --> 01:16:02,076 Speaking of which, I have a prescription here. 1592 01:16:02,121 --> 01:16:04,453 I want you standing by with a lot of this stuff. 1593 01:16:04,490 --> 01:16:06,355 A crate of it. It's... 1594 01:16:08,594 --> 01:16:09,925 Anti-psychotic. 1595 01:16:10,796 --> 01:16:12,388 The number is V... 1596 01:16:14,466 --> 01:16:15,728 This is nothing. 1597 01:16:15,768 --> 01:16:17,759 I used to think I was a pharmacist... 1598 01:16:17,803 --> 01:16:19,134 the stuff I carried. 1599 01:16:19,171 --> 01:16:22,732 With the beans, you can tell if they're puttin' stuff in it. 1600 01:16:24,309 --> 01:16:26,641 So you don't have to fear it. 1601 01:16:27,946 --> 01:16:29,345 What kind of stuff? 1602 01:16:32,184 --> 01:16:34,414 What do you mean, what kind of stuff? 1603 01:16:37,322 --> 01:16:39,847 He just wanted to know what you meant. 1604 01:16:39,892 --> 01:16:41,359 Did you mean? 1605 01:16:41,393 --> 01:16:43,520 - I didn't. - He didn't mean. 1606 01:16:43,562 --> 01:16:45,996 - He didn't mean anything. - You meant something. 1607 01:16:46,031 --> 01:16:47,259 He didn't mean anything. 1608 01:16:47,299 --> 01:16:48,891 Give him another pill. 1609 01:16:48,934 --> 01:16:52,768 What the fuck do you mean, what kind of stuff? 1610 01:16:52,805 --> 01:16:54,966 Pill, William. 1611 01:16:55,374 --> 01:16:58,275 This is nothing. Did you ever shoot in Italy? 1612 01:16:58,310 --> 01:17:01,643 Try three starlets swacked-out on Benzedrine and grappa. 1613 01:17:01,680 --> 01:17:03,614 This is nothing. 1614 01:17:03,649 --> 01:17:05,742 This is a walk in the park. 1615 01:17:08,320 --> 01:17:09,651 Who are you? 1616 01:17:09,688 --> 01:17:11,417 Who are you sons of bitches? 1617 01:17:11,457 --> 01:17:14,017 - Killers! - Just calm down. 1618 01:17:14,059 --> 01:17:15,856 Where are you taking me? 1619 01:17:19,932 --> 01:17:21,263 Oh, my God! 1620 01:17:25,270 --> 01:17:27,431 Sergeant Willie Schumann is coming home. 1621 01:17:27,473 --> 01:17:29,964 Schumann's plane should be over the Atlantic Ocean... 1622 01:17:30,008 --> 01:17:32,738 making its final descent back into this country. 1623 01:17:32,778 --> 01:17:34,075 The White House reported... 1624 01:17:34,113 --> 01:17:37,310 he was safely rescued and on his way to American soil. 1625 01:17:37,349 --> 01:17:39,317 We're still waiting for his plane... 1626 01:17:39,351 --> 01:17:40,909 at Andrews Air Force Base. 1627 01:17:40,953 --> 01:17:44,218 A plane that is due to land. Long overdue. 1628 01:17:44,256 --> 01:17:46,986 The president is monitoring the situation... 1629 01:17:47,025 --> 01:17:48,993 personally and closely. 1630 01:17:49,027 --> 01:17:51,359 We will keep you updated as to any developments. 1631 01:17:51,396 --> 01:17:52,693 Thank you very much. 1632 01:17:52,731 --> 01:17:55,222 Oh, God. What do we do now? 1633 01:17:56,468 --> 01:17:58,561 What do we do now, boy producer? 1634 01:17:58,604 --> 01:18:01,129 Mister win-an-Emmy, social-conscience, whale-shit... 1635 01:18:01,173 --> 01:18:03,607 save-the-rain-forest, peacenik-commie... 1636 01:18:03,642 --> 01:18:05,872 fuckin'- hire-a-convict shithead? 1637 01:18:05,911 --> 01:18:09,210 What do we do now, liberal, affirmative action, shithead... 1638 01:18:09,248 --> 01:18:10,909 peacenik commie fuck? 1639 01:18:12,551 --> 01:18:15,748 This is nothing. Piece of cake. 1640 01:18:15,787 --> 01:18:18,517 Producing is being a samurai warrior. 1641 01:18:18,557 --> 01:18:20,252 They pay you day in, day out for years... 1642 01:18:20,292 --> 01:18:22,954 so that one day, when called upon... 1643 01:18:22,995 --> 01:18:25,964 you can respond, your training at its peak... 1644 01:18:25,998 --> 01:18:27,625 and save the day! 1645 01:18:31,436 --> 01:18:33,097 Produce this Schumann. 1646 01:18:33,138 --> 01:18:34,799 Produce him, I say... 1647 01:18:34,840 --> 01:18:36,364 or, and I don't hesitate to say this... 1648 01:18:36,408 --> 01:18:40,868 rank him as just another in a series of broken promises. 1649 01:18:40,913 --> 01:18:44,713 This tardy absence of the flight must give us pause... 1650 01:18:44,750 --> 01:18:49,278 and in that pause, we should take time to examine ourselves... 1651 01:18:49,321 --> 01:18:50,754 Fuck you. 1652 01:18:50,789 --> 01:18:52,950 Leave it alone. What did television do to you? 1653 01:18:52,991 --> 01:18:55,619 It destroyed the electoral process. 1654 01:18:55,661 --> 01:18:58,755 Enough lovemaking. Let's go. Come on. 1655 01:18:58,797 --> 01:19:01,925 - Where? - We got work to do. 1656 01:19:01,967 --> 01:19:03,434 Come on, pal. 1657 01:19:03,468 --> 01:19:04,935 Is it time for exercise? 1658 01:19:04,970 --> 01:19:06,961 It's my day in the yard. 1659 01:19:07,005 --> 01:19:08,734 Let's get him to the highway. 1660 01:19:08,774 --> 01:19:11,174 Think this is tough? Come on, pal! 1661 01:19:11,210 --> 01:19:13,542 This is nothing! Piece of cake! 1662 01:19:13,579 --> 01:19:15,274 Albanian dissidents... 1663 01:19:15,314 --> 01:19:18,181 having somehow obtained a surface-to-air missile... 1664 01:19:18,217 --> 01:19:20,685 You had your fortune here. 1665 01:19:20,719 --> 01:19:22,653 You were ready to throw it away. 1666 01:19:22,688 --> 01:19:25,953 If you got a problem, solve it. That's producing. 1667 01:19:25,991 --> 01:19:29,290 Someday when they tell this story... 1668 01:19:29,328 --> 01:19:30,795 You can't tell this story. 1669 01:19:30,829 --> 01:19:33,320 - Why not? - Somebody would have you killed. 1670 01:19:33,365 --> 01:19:35,765 Of course, I know. 1671 01:19:35,801 --> 01:19:39,601 Not now. But when they do tell the story... 1672 01:19:39,638 --> 01:19:42,766 Nobody can tell this story, ever. 1673 01:19:44,243 --> 01:19:47,440 Listen to me. This is what I do for a living. 1674 01:19:48,347 --> 01:19:50,508 You can't tell this story. He's not kidding you. 1675 01:19:50,549 --> 01:19:52,676 You can't tell this story. You knew that. 1676 01:19:52,718 --> 01:19:54,811 The deal was you get an ambassadorship. 1677 01:19:56,121 --> 01:19:58,180 I used to have a Camaro. 1678 01:19:58,223 --> 01:20:00,817 What are you going to tell? The guy's a nut case. 1679 01:20:00,859 --> 01:20:03,054 You would be too if you went through what he went through. 1680 01:20:03,095 --> 01:20:04,562 He raped a nun. 1681 01:20:04,596 --> 01:20:05,824 What he went through in Albania. 1682 01:20:05,864 --> 01:20:07,195 He's doped to the gills. 1683 01:20:07,232 --> 01:20:08,597 Where's my little pills? 1684 01:20:08,634 --> 01:20:09,862 Show some compassion. 1685 01:20:09,901 --> 01:20:12,199 He spent the last 12 years in a military prison. 1686 01:20:12,237 --> 01:20:14,398 How are we gonna explain that? 1687 01:20:14,439 --> 01:20:16,805 Explain it? Am I worried? 1688 01:20:16,842 --> 01:20:18,742 How do we explain that when the world is watching? 1689 01:20:18,777 --> 01:20:21,245 Fuck the world. Try a 10 a.m. Pitch meeting... 1690 01:20:21,280 --> 01:20:23,748 cooked to the gills, and you haven't read the treatment. 1691 01:20:23,782 --> 01:20:25,807 How do we explain he was in prison? 1692 01:20:26,918 --> 01:20:28,283 Well, you see, Winifred... 1693 01:20:28,320 --> 01:20:30,618 this is where you've never been at a pitch. 1694 01:20:30,656 --> 01:20:32,055 His records say he was in prison... 1695 01:20:32,090 --> 01:20:35,253 as they say for all the men and women of Group 303... 1696 01:20:35,294 --> 01:20:39,025 as they must because of the secrecy involved. 1697 01:20:56,815 --> 01:20:58,248 I'm on top of it. 1698 01:20:58,283 --> 01:21:00,308 Not sure whether enemy action... 1699 01:21:00,352 --> 01:21:01,819 I'm fine. I got it. 1700 01:21:03,355 --> 01:21:06,051 Stanley, I told you, I do this for a living. 1701 01:21:06,091 --> 01:21:07,718 You do what for a living? 1702 01:21:07,759 --> 01:21:09,386 Exactly what do you do for the president? 1703 01:21:09,428 --> 01:21:11,760 I lost my wallet. You got any change? 1704 01:21:13,899 --> 01:21:15,457 How we doing, boy? 1705 01:21:15,500 --> 01:21:17,024 Ready to mix it up? 1706 01:21:17,069 --> 01:21:18,900 Is today laundry day? 1707 01:21:18,937 --> 01:21:21,906 - What do you do on laundry day? - Laundry. 1708 01:21:21,940 --> 01:21:24,602 Stand by to copy this. Just get a pencil. 1709 01:21:24,643 --> 01:21:26,110 Down safely. 1710 01:21:26,144 --> 01:21:28,271 Produce this Schumann. 1711 01:21:28,313 --> 01:21:31,646 Produce him, I say, or, and I don't hesitate to say this... 1712 01:21:31,683 --> 01:21:35,813 rank him as just another in a series of broken promises. 1713 01:21:35,854 --> 01:21:37,321 Sustained minor injuries. 1714 01:21:37,356 --> 01:21:39,756 Flight crew being investigated for possible pilot error. 1715 01:21:39,791 --> 01:21:41,816 Transshipped to an undisclosed location. 1716 01:21:43,362 --> 01:21:46,661 This deserted runway should be filled with well-wishers. 1717 01:21:46,698 --> 01:21:49,997 How you doing? A cold drink? 1718 01:21:50,035 --> 01:21:52,526 Schumann was to return to American soil today... 1719 01:21:52,571 --> 01:21:54,596 after his safe rescue in Albania. 1720 01:21:55,440 --> 01:21:57,670 He looks like me. 1721 01:21:58,944 --> 01:22:02,004 ...deserves an explanation from the White House. 1722 01:22:02,047 --> 01:22:06,211 Wait, we are now going live to the White House. 1723 01:22:06,251 --> 01:22:08,719 I have an update regarding the aircraft incident... 1724 01:22:08,754 --> 01:22:10,415 involving Sergeant Schumann. 1725 01:22:10,455 --> 01:22:13,151 He is down safely and will be transshipped. 1726 01:22:13,191 --> 01:22:15,955 We are informed he has sustained minor injuries... 1727 01:22:15,994 --> 01:22:17,825 which will require his being medicated for some time... 1728 01:22:17,863 --> 01:22:19,956 Bring in the cavalry. Nick of time. 1729 01:22:22,401 --> 01:22:24,164 Political shitbirds. Fuck with us, huh? 1730 01:22:24,202 --> 01:22:25,869 They don't know who they're playing with. 1731 01:22:30,909 --> 01:22:32,240 Purty. 1732 01:22:34,012 --> 01:22:35,912 I'm a little concerned about the driver of the rig. 1733 01:22:35,947 --> 01:22:37,437 - What rig? - The harvester. 1734 01:22:37,482 --> 01:22:40,508 - What about him? - He doesn't have his green card. 1735 01:22:45,424 --> 01:22:46,982 So what? 1736 01:22:47,025 --> 01:22:50,620 You want Schumann to be rescued by an illegal alien? 1737 01:22:50,662 --> 01:22:53,722 We can't have Schumann saved by an illegal immigrant. 1738 01:22:53,765 --> 01:22:55,733 Get on the phone. Fly in a judge. 1739 01:22:55,767 --> 01:22:58,258 Get on the phone. What's all this moping about? 1740 01:23:04,476 --> 01:23:06,137 Do you have any change? 1741 01:23:08,146 --> 01:23:11,513 I like the night life, I like to boogie. 1742 01:23:13,718 --> 01:23:14,844 Susie! 1743 01:23:14,886 --> 01:23:16,217 William? 1744 01:23:16,254 --> 01:23:18,085 Are you all right? 1745 01:23:22,127 --> 01:23:23,492 Kickball. 1746 01:23:29,167 --> 01:23:32,159 Let me talk to him! 1747 01:23:32,204 --> 01:23:33,671 What are you doing? 1748 01:23:33,705 --> 01:23:35,070 I think we should... 1749 01:23:35,106 --> 01:23:38,439 Willie, where are you going? 1750 01:23:39,711 --> 01:23:41,178 Shoester! 1751 01:23:45,984 --> 01:23:49,476 Let me talk to him. Shoe, you in there? 1752 01:23:49,521 --> 01:23:51,785 I'll kill that son of a bitch. 1753 01:23:51,823 --> 01:23:54,792 I have a relationship. You want to talk? 1754 01:23:54,826 --> 01:23:57,351 Get you anything you want. You want some beans? 1755 01:23:57,395 --> 01:23:58,692 Will that do it, Shoester? 1756 01:24:01,066 --> 01:24:02,431 Come on, Shoe! 1757 01:24:04,603 --> 01:24:06,696 He's dead. 1758 01:24:15,180 --> 01:24:16,408 Wait a minute. 1759 01:24:16,448 --> 01:24:18,643 He's not dead. He's alive. 1760 01:24:19,951 --> 01:24:21,316 Strike that. 1761 01:24:27,993 --> 01:24:30,018 So close and yet so far. 1762 01:24:30,061 --> 01:24:31,358 What do you mean? 1763 01:24:31,396 --> 01:24:32,795 We were this close. 1764 01:24:32,831 --> 01:24:35,095 This is nothing. 1765 01:24:35,133 --> 01:24:36,361 This just got big. 1766 01:24:36,401 --> 01:24:38,392 Big? He's dead. 1767 01:24:38,436 --> 01:24:39,801 We killed Old Shoe. 1768 01:24:41,206 --> 01:24:44,107 What is better than the triumphal homecoming... 1769 01:24:44,142 --> 01:24:45,837 of a war hero? 1770 01:24:52,284 --> 01:24:53,410 Ready! 1771 01:24:54,185 --> 01:24:55,311 Lift! 1772 01:24:55,353 --> 01:24:57,480 We're gathered here... 1773 01:24:58,123 --> 01:25:01,092 with a cross to bear. 1774 01:25:01,126 --> 01:25:03,287 The bravest men... 1775 01:25:04,429 --> 01:25:06,659 anywhere. 1776 01:25:07,098 --> 01:25:09,589 That this great land... 1777 01:25:09,634 --> 01:25:13,263 will remain free. 1778 01:25:13,305 --> 01:25:14,966 God bless the men... 1779 01:25:15,006 --> 01:25:18,874 of the 303. 1780 01:25:19,444 --> 01:25:22,072 Side by side... 1781 01:25:22,113 --> 01:25:25,082 we know no fear. 1782 01:25:25,116 --> 01:25:28,085 Our minds are sharp. 1783 01:25:28,119 --> 01:25:31,054 Our eyes are clear. 1784 01:25:31,089 --> 01:25:34,115 In the air, on land... 1785 01:25:34,159 --> 01:25:36,992 or on the sea... 1786 01:25:37,028 --> 01:25:39,258 we're the fightin' men... 1787 01:25:39,297 --> 01:25:42,892 of the 303. 1788 01:25:46,137 --> 01:25:48,970 Give us this day... 1789 01:25:49,007 --> 01:25:52,067 our daily bread... 1790 01:25:52,110 --> 01:25:54,408 and leopard skin... 1791 01:25:55,413 --> 01:25:58,041 for our head. 1792 01:25:58,083 --> 01:26:00,176 That we may fight... 1793 01:26:08,360 --> 01:26:09,588 Coffee? 1794 01:26:09,628 --> 01:26:11,027 Please. 1795 01:26:11,062 --> 01:26:13,155 Looking good. 1796 01:26:13,198 --> 01:26:15,393 Bring it all back home. 1797 01:26:15,433 --> 01:26:18,095 Lassie barks twice, and it's time to take out the garbage. 1798 01:26:18,136 --> 01:26:19,694 Hell of a show. 1799 01:26:19,738 --> 01:26:21,137 Hell of a job. 1800 01:26:21,172 --> 01:26:22,833 It's just producing. 1801 01:26:22,874 --> 01:26:25,866 There's no Academy Award for producing. 1802 01:26:25,910 --> 01:26:27,241 You're kidding. 1803 01:26:28,513 --> 01:26:30,845 Where do movies come from if nobody produces them? 1804 01:26:32,150 --> 01:26:33,879 They come from people like you. 1805 01:26:37,455 --> 01:26:39,252 You just got to take the bitter with the better. 1806 01:26:39,290 --> 01:26:41,781 Job's almost done... 1807 01:26:41,826 --> 01:26:42,986 knock on wood. 1808 01:26:43,962 --> 01:26:45,259 We did a good job. 1809 01:26:45,296 --> 01:26:46,593 That's our reward. 1810 01:26:48,166 --> 01:26:49,861 You can't save the world. 1811 01:26:49,901 --> 01:26:51,232 All you can do is try. 1812 01:26:51,836 --> 01:26:53,667 Ain't that the truth? 1813 01:26:59,244 --> 01:27:00,973 As we said, the president... 1814 01:27:01,012 --> 01:27:03,674 thrust of the Albanian episode to put him over the top. 1815 01:27:03,715 --> 01:27:06,809 You could say that, Shirley, but it's not true. 1816 01:27:06,851 --> 01:27:08,216 What would be true, then? 1817 01:27:08,253 --> 01:27:10,414 You said it earlier, if I may rephrase... 1818 01:27:10,455 --> 01:27:12,616 the success of the president in the polls... 1819 01:27:12,657 --> 01:27:16,957 As of today, 89% favorable. 1820 01:27:16,995 --> 01:27:19,555 Based not on the events... 1821 01:27:19,597 --> 01:27:22,157 but on the spin given to those events. 1822 01:27:22,200 --> 01:27:25,636 What's the lesson here? Never give up. 1823 01:27:25,670 --> 01:27:26,898 You're right. 1824 01:27:26,938 --> 01:27:28,371 The show must go on. 1825 01:27:28,406 --> 01:27:29,634 Proud tradition. 1826 01:27:29,674 --> 01:27:34,008 I am prouder of this than anything I ever did. 1827 01:27:34,045 --> 01:27:35,273 You should be. 1828 01:27:35,313 --> 01:27:36,780 I want to thank you. 1829 01:27:40,518 --> 01:27:41,883 You gave me a good opportunity. 1830 01:27:45,790 --> 01:27:48,953 As we said, the president, a surefire winner... 1831 01:27:48,993 --> 01:27:51,894 and the campaign, many said, that put him there. 1832 01:27:52,564 --> 01:27:54,589 Another great race today, Johnny. 1833 01:27:54,632 --> 01:27:56,930 Who you going to ride in the Stakes? 1834 01:27:56,968 --> 01:27:59,732 Eddie, like my daddy always used to say... 1835 01:27:59,771 --> 01:28:00,965 The message is irrelevant. 1836 01:28:01,005 --> 01:28:02,996 The main element we have to deal with... 1837 01:28:03,041 --> 01:28:05,566 is that fear is what's driving a lot of people. 1838 01:28:05,610 --> 01:28:07,407 Commercials. 1839 01:28:08,847 --> 01:28:11,077 The president is a product. 1840 01:28:11,916 --> 01:28:14,817 He's the President of the United States at 89%. 1841 01:28:14,853 --> 01:28:16,548 Which we're dealing with today. 1842 01:28:16,588 --> 01:28:18,055 Commercials. 1843 01:28:19,424 --> 01:28:22,222 It's time the American people began to look at that. 1844 01:28:22,260 --> 01:28:25,229 Now we're going to take your calls. 1845 01:28:25,263 --> 01:28:26,787 The number is 1-800... 1846 01:28:26,831 --> 01:28:29,026 Oh, shit. 1847 01:28:38,276 --> 01:28:40,039 Stanley, what are you doing? 1848 01:28:40,078 --> 01:28:41,375 What am I doing? 1849 01:28:42,781 --> 01:28:44,442 I'm going to call somebody. 1850 01:28:45,784 --> 01:28:47,081 That's very funny. 1851 01:28:47,118 --> 01:28:48,779 I'm going to get these people straight. 1852 01:28:48,820 --> 01:28:50,344 You can't do that. 1853 01:28:50,388 --> 01:28:52,686 Watch me. 1854 01:28:56,427 --> 01:28:57,985 You knew the deal when you signed on. 1855 01:28:58,029 --> 01:29:00,054 Come on. Deals change. 1856 01:29:00,098 --> 01:29:01,861 Sure it is. 1857 01:29:01,900 --> 01:29:04,926 Let's rethink that ambassadorship. 1858 01:29:04,969 --> 01:29:06,960 I'm talking London. I'm talking Paris. 1859 01:29:07,005 --> 01:29:09,303 A secret account for your extra expenses... 1860 01:29:09,340 --> 01:29:10,773 getting laid whenever you want. 1861 01:29:10,809 --> 01:29:12,242 Marine guards will salute you. 1862 01:29:12,277 --> 01:29:15,144 It's tempting, but I got to answer to a higher calling. 1863 01:29:15,180 --> 01:29:17,148 - Art. - Money? 1864 01:29:17,182 --> 01:29:19,275 You think I did this for money? 1865 01:29:19,317 --> 01:29:22,013 I did this for credit. 1866 01:29:22,053 --> 01:29:23,486 You knew you couldn't take the credit. 1867 01:29:23,521 --> 01:29:24,988 I'm not going to stand here... 1868 01:29:25,023 --> 01:29:27,457 and let two dickheads from film school take it. 1869 01:29:27,492 --> 01:29:29,357 Listen to me. 1870 01:29:29,394 --> 01:29:30,622 Are you nuts? 1871 01:29:30,662 --> 01:29:31,959 Stanley, no fooling. 1872 01:29:31,996 --> 01:29:33,657 You're playing with your life. 1873 01:29:33,698 --> 01:29:35,029 Fuck my life. 1874 01:29:35,066 --> 01:29:37,034 I want the credit. 1875 01:29:37,068 --> 01:29:39,593 Know what the New York Times said about my last picture? 1876 01:29:39,637 --> 01:29:41,400 They called it "a thrill ride for the ages..." 1877 01:29:41,439 --> 01:29:42,929 but they didn't mention the producer. 1878 01:29:42,974 --> 01:29:45,135 They talked about the costumes... 1879 01:29:45,176 --> 01:29:46,700 but never talked about the producer. 1880 01:29:46,744 --> 01:29:47,972 You know what that picture grossed? 1881 01:29:48,012 --> 01:29:49,240 Now I'm going to stand here... 1882 01:29:49,280 --> 01:29:51,441 and let some limp-dick film-school pansy... 1883 01:29:51,482 --> 01:29:52,710 take the credit? 1884 01:29:52,750 --> 01:29:54,217 You can't do it. 1885 01:29:54,252 --> 01:29:56,220 Don't you tell me that! 1886 01:29:56,254 --> 01:29:58,654 Don't you ever tell me that! 1887 01:29:58,690 --> 01:30:00,453 I am the producer! 1888 01:30:00,491 --> 01:30:02,550 If I didn't step up, you're nowhere! 1889 01:30:02,594 --> 01:30:05,154 I put this together out of spit and polish! 1890 01:30:05,196 --> 01:30:07,130 Look at that. 1891 01:30:07,165 --> 01:30:09,690 That is a complete fucking fraud... 1892 01:30:09,734 --> 01:30:13,101 and it looks 100% real. 1893 01:30:19,077 --> 01:30:22,137 It's the best work I've ever done in my life... 1894 01:30:22,180 --> 01:30:24,375 because it's so honest. 1895 01:30:32,390 --> 01:30:34,358 They told me I couldn't remake Moby Dick... 1896 01:30:34,392 --> 01:30:35,984 from the point of view of the whale. 1897 01:30:36,027 --> 01:30:37,858 $450 million domestic. 1898 01:30:37,896 --> 01:30:39,363 I'm not even talking about the video. 1899 01:30:39,397 --> 01:30:41,524 I made this lame turkey fly. 1900 01:30:41,566 --> 01:30:43,158 I did it... pure Hollywood. 1901 01:30:44,836 --> 01:30:48,294 For once in my life, I won't be pissed on. 1902 01:30:48,339 --> 01:30:49,533 Do you hear me? 1903 01:30:50,708 --> 01:30:52,369 I want the credit. 1904 01:30:54,279 --> 01:30:56,213 I'm taking it. 1905 01:30:56,247 --> 01:30:57,942 Shit. 1906 01:31:12,363 --> 01:31:14,388 He's coming down. 1907 01:31:14,432 --> 01:31:16,798 Could I see you a minute? Thanks. 1908 01:31:20,772 --> 01:31:21,898 Do you swear to uphold... 1909 01:31:21,940 --> 01:31:23,407 the duties and responsibilities... 1910 01:31:23,441 --> 01:31:26,171 of a citizen of the United States of America... 1911 01:31:26,210 --> 01:31:28,178 to defend her in time of peril... 1912 01:31:28,212 --> 01:31:31,670 to defend her from all enemies, foreign and domestic? 1913 01:31:31,716 --> 01:31:34,378 Do you make this pledge with full resolve? 1914 01:31:52,203 --> 01:31:54,603 Common ground... 1915 01:31:54,639 --> 01:31:57,904 and family. 1916 01:31:57,942 --> 01:31:59,409 Let's give thanks... 1917 01:31:59,444 --> 01:32:03,847 to the 303. 1918 01:32:03,881 --> 01:32:06,543 Years from now... 1919 01:32:06,584 --> 01:32:09,553 when we are gone... 1920 01:32:09,587 --> 01:32:12,556 our children's kids... 1921 01:32:12,590 --> 01:32:15,957 will hear this song. 1922 01:32:15,994 --> 01:32:18,622 Think how strong... 1923 01:32:18,663 --> 01:32:21,996 and proud they'll be. 1924 01:32:22,033 --> 01:32:23,398 Grandpa fought... 1925 01:32:23,434 --> 01:32:27,666 for the 303. 1926 01:32:27,705 --> 01:32:30,196 God bless the men... 1927 01:32:30,241 --> 01:32:36,073 of the 303. 1928 01:32:39,550 --> 01:32:41,040 Ten-hut! 1929 01:32:41,085 --> 01:32:43,485 Present arms! 1930 01:32:52,430 --> 01:32:55,194 Turning to the Hollywood page... 1931 01:32:55,233 --> 01:32:58,134 famed film producer Stanley R. Motss... 1932 01:32:58,169 --> 01:33:00,569 died suddenly of a massive heart attack... 1933 01:33:00,605 --> 01:33:02,732 while sunbathing poolside. 1934 01:33:02,774 --> 01:33:06,437 Mr. Motss was 57 or 62-years-old... 1935 01:33:06,477 --> 01:33:08,502 depending on the bio. 1936 01:33:08,546 --> 01:33:10,741 His credits include numerous films... 1937 01:33:10,782 --> 01:33:15,481 which America has come to love as old classics. 1938 01:33:19,657 --> 01:33:20,885 This just in. 1939 01:33:20,925 --> 01:33:23,325 A group calling itself "Albania Unite..." 1940 01:33:23,361 --> 01:33:25,886 has claimed responsibility for the bombing moments ago... 1941 01:33:25,930 --> 01:33:27,761 of the village of Klos, Albania. 1942 01:33:27,799 --> 01:33:29,528 The president was unavailable for comment... 1943 01:33:29,567 --> 01:33:32,297 but General William Scott of the Joint Chiefs of Staff... 1944 01:33:32,336 --> 01:33:34,770 says he has no doubt we'll be sending planes and troops... 1945 01:33:34,806 --> 01:33:36,330 back in to finish the job. 147439