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1
00:00:00,984 --> 00:00:21,671
♪
2
00:00:21,671 --> 00:00:23,540
-Honey Shaw.
-Yeah?
3
00:00:23,540 --> 00:00:25,942
It is I, Sheriff
John Henry Hoyle.
4
00:00:25,942 --> 00:00:28,078
Yeah, I see you, Hoyle,
I'm talkin' to you.
5
00:00:28,078 --> 00:00:29,679
Honey Shaw,
6
00:00:29,679 --> 00:00:32,115
I love you.
7
00:00:32,115 --> 00:00:33,850
No shit.
8
00:00:33,850 --> 00:00:35,752
And I feel
that something
9
00:00:35,752 --> 00:00:37,620
has passed
between us...
10
00:00:37,620 --> 00:00:38,888
Well, fluid.
11
00:00:38,888 --> 00:00:42,025
...that has brought
our souls into a dance.
12
00:00:42,025 --> 00:00:43,960
At first,
it was a tango,
13
00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:46,162
then it turned
into a waltz,
14
00:00:46,162 --> 00:00:47,797
and now it's just
the slow dance
15
00:00:47,797 --> 00:00:49,099
where you put your
hands on the hip
16
00:00:49,099 --> 00:00:50,867
and you just move around
and around forever.
17
00:00:50,867 --> 00:00:52,068
Oh, this
is awful.
18
00:00:52,068 --> 00:00:53,470
What are
you doing?
19
00:00:53,470 --> 00:00:55,772
♪ Honey Shaw ♪
20
00:00:55,772 --> 00:00:56,840
Oh, no.
21
00:00:56,840 --> 00:01:00,176
(singing poorly in Spanish)
22
00:01:00,176 --> 00:01:01,978
Oh, my God.
23
00:01:01,978 --> 00:01:03,980
♪ Vámonos ♪
24
00:01:03,980 --> 00:01:04,981
Go?
25
00:01:04,981 --> 00:01:06,583
♪ Conmigo ♪
26
00:01:06,583 --> 00:01:07,884
I'm sorry, I'll be
in in a second.
27
00:01:07,884 --> 00:01:09,019
What is he doing
in there?
28
00:01:09,019 --> 00:01:10,453
I'll be in
in one second.
29
00:01:10,453 --> 00:01:11,821
Can you give me
a minute, Ethan?
30
00:01:11,821 --> 00:01:13,757
-Thank you.
-Get back on the apparatus.
31
00:01:13,757 --> 00:01:15,558
This is
my heart.
32
00:01:15,558 --> 00:01:17,193
Let me open
it for you.
33
00:01:17,193 --> 00:01:18,661
Where did
it go?
34
00:01:18,661 --> 00:01:20,597
Okay, I got it,
I got it, I got it.
35
00:01:20,597 --> 00:01:21,631
I got it,
I got it!
36
00:01:21,631 --> 00:01:23,767
Everybody
back, back.
37
00:01:23,767 --> 00:01:25,769
Honey Shaw,
38
00:01:25,769 --> 00:01:28,405
will you
marry me?
39
00:01:28,405 --> 00:01:29,906
Are you done?
40
00:01:29,906 --> 00:01:31,074
♪
41
00:01:31,074 --> 00:01:33,576
Nice try, Hoyle,
but no.
42
00:01:33,576 --> 00:01:35,045
-No?
-No.
43
00:01:35,045 --> 00:01:38,848
Cut it, cut it,
she said no.
44
00:01:38,848 --> 00:01:40,950
You know, you can tune
the trumpet before--
45
00:01:40,950 --> 00:01:42,919
you were like a
half step flat.
46
00:01:42,919 --> 00:01:44,621
♪
47
00:01:50,493 --> 00:01:52,929
♪
48
00:01:54,497 --> 00:01:56,466
-Read 'em and weap!
-A straight flush.
49
00:01:56,466 --> 00:01:58,001
I don't believe
you, again!
50
00:01:58,001 --> 00:01:59,035
Are you
kidding me?
51
00:01:59,035 --> 00:02:00,537
Did you lose all
of our money?
52
00:02:00,537 --> 00:02:01,838
I didn't
lose it yet,
53
00:02:01,838 --> 00:02:03,173
I assume
he's cheatin'
54
00:02:03,173 --> 00:02:04,474
because that's
the fourth
55
00:02:04,474 --> 00:02:05,708
straight flush
in a row!
56
00:02:05,708 --> 00:02:07,010
Is this all
we have left?
57
00:02:07,010 --> 00:02:09,779
Are you
kidding me?
58
00:02:09,779 --> 00:02:11,514
It takes a little
bit of skill!
59
00:02:11,514 --> 00:02:13,049
Check his
pockets.
60
00:02:13,049 --> 00:02:15,051
(all arguing)
61
00:02:15,051 --> 00:02:17,053
♪
62
00:02:17,053 --> 00:02:18,455
-Hoyle!
-What?
63
00:02:18,455 --> 00:02:20,990
Enough with this
dumb hobby!
64
00:02:20,990 --> 00:02:23,226
There's a ruckus
going on in here!
65
00:02:23,226 --> 00:02:24,961
All right,
what's going on?
66
00:02:24,961 --> 00:02:26,529
(all shouting)
67
00:02:26,529 --> 00:02:29,132
All right, all right,
everybody calm down.
68
00:02:29,132 --> 00:02:31,668
Hey, everyone listen
to the mariachi.
69
00:02:31,668 --> 00:02:33,169
-Yet--
-He's not.
70
00:02:33,169 --> 00:02:34,838
Sheriff John
Henry Hoyle.
71
00:02:34,838 --> 00:02:36,473
-How do you do?
-And you are?
72
00:02:36,473 --> 00:02:37,907
I am Deacon Jim.
73
00:02:37,907 --> 00:02:39,542
-A deacon?
-Yes, sir.
74
00:02:39,542 --> 00:02:40,844
I'm a sextant
of the church.
75
00:02:40,844 --> 00:02:42,112
I don't drink,
I don't smoke,
76
00:02:42,112 --> 00:02:43,480
I gamble
a little bit,
77
00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:44,614
but just for
amusement.
78
00:02:44,614 --> 00:02:46,049
And also
at one time
79
00:02:46,049 --> 00:02:47,517
I was a
Texas Ranger.
80
00:02:47,517 --> 00:02:48,852
-Really?
-That's right.
81
00:02:48,852 --> 00:02:49,986
Well,
perhaps later,
82
00:02:49,986 --> 00:02:51,488
we can enjoy
a cup of tea.
83
00:02:51,488 --> 00:02:52,956
Let us exchange
stories, sir.
84
00:02:52,956 --> 00:02:54,691
I would love
that, Deacon.
85
00:02:54,691 --> 00:02:56,493
It would be
my pleasure.
86
00:02:56,493 --> 00:02:58,228
What are you,
sleeping with him?
87
00:02:58,228 --> 00:02:59,529
(all shouting)
88
00:02:59,529 --> 00:03:01,231
I'm just talking
to him!
89
00:03:01,231 --> 00:03:02,632
He's a snake!
90
00:03:02,632 --> 00:03:04,200
All right,
has anyone seen
91
00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:05,702
the deacon
cheat?
92
00:03:05,702 --> 00:03:07,137
No, but I searched
his pockets.
93
00:03:07,137 --> 00:03:08,538
And what
did you find?
94
00:03:08,538 --> 00:03:11,040
I found a telegram,
a hat pin,
95
00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:13,209
and what I think
are pickle chips.
96
00:03:13,209 --> 00:03:15,645
Yes, and I'd like those
particular items back.
97
00:03:15,645 --> 00:03:16,746
I'll give
it back.
98
00:03:16,746 --> 00:03:18,615
You'll give it
back, all of it.
99
00:03:18,615 --> 00:03:20,183
Now, I don't see
any evidence
100
00:03:20,183 --> 00:03:21,618
of foul play
here.
101
00:03:21,618 --> 00:03:23,019
Hoyle, he took our
honeymoon money!
102
00:03:23,019 --> 00:03:24,154
Your honeymoon
money?
103
00:03:24,154 --> 00:03:25,588
Our honeymoon
money.
104
00:03:25,588 --> 00:03:27,023
Eli put all of our
honeymoon money
105
00:03:27,023 --> 00:03:28,424
on the poker
table.
106
00:03:28,424 --> 00:03:30,126
-What?
-Well, now I'm sorry.
107
00:03:30,126 --> 00:03:31,861
I wasn't aware that
you were newlyweds.
108
00:03:31,861 --> 00:03:33,663
I'm not a man
without sympathy.
109
00:03:33,663 --> 00:03:34,864
I would be more
than willing
110
00:03:34,864 --> 00:03:35,999
to barter
for the money.
111
00:03:35,999 --> 00:03:37,467
Now, how much
would it take
112
00:03:37,467 --> 00:03:38,635
for you to have
a wonderful,
113
00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:39,802
memorable
honeymoon?
114
00:03:39,802 --> 00:03:41,571
The tickets alone
were ten...
115
00:03:41,571 --> 00:03:43,072
Ten dollars,
all right.
116
00:03:43,072 --> 00:03:45,508
Then there's meals
on the train.
117
00:03:45,508 --> 00:03:46,643
I love
the toast
118
00:03:46,643 --> 00:03:48,077
that they make
on the train.
119
00:03:48,077 --> 00:03:49,812
A fancy hat with
a feather in it.
120
00:03:49,812 --> 00:03:51,047
Oh, certainly.
121
00:03:51,047 --> 00:03:52,882
Now, you of course
are a lady of the line,
122
00:03:52,882 --> 00:03:54,918
so what if we
went upstairs
123
00:03:54,918 --> 00:03:56,786
for 20 minutes and
this will be yours?
124
00:03:56,786 --> 00:03:58,454
I think that's
about a--
125
00:03:58,454 --> 00:04:00,590
I'm gonna kill him,
I'm gonna kill him!
126
00:04:00,590 --> 00:04:02,926
♪
127
00:04:02,926 --> 00:04:04,694
(gunshot)
128
00:04:04,694 --> 00:04:08,097
♪
129
00:04:08,097 --> 00:04:09,933
I just shot
a man of the cloth
130
00:04:09,933 --> 00:04:11,568
because of you.
131
00:04:11,568 --> 00:04:15,838
♪
132
00:04:15,838 --> 00:04:17,540
Hoyle, he was
cheatin' first
133
00:04:17,540 --> 00:04:19,008
and he was
tryin' to kill--
134
00:04:19,008 --> 00:04:20,043
watch out!
135
00:04:20,043 --> 00:04:21,711
(gunshot)
136
00:04:21,711 --> 00:04:24,214
♪
137
00:04:24,214 --> 00:04:26,649
Oh, my God!
138
00:04:26,649 --> 00:04:27,984
My Aunt Willow!
139
00:04:33,590 --> 00:04:35,058
Honey!
Honey!
140
00:04:35,058 --> 00:04:36,226
You got eyeballs
on him?
141
00:04:36,226 --> 00:04:37,827
No, I don't
got him!
142
00:04:37,827 --> 00:04:38,962
Hoyle.
143
00:04:38,962 --> 00:04:41,197
♪
144
00:04:41,197 --> 00:04:42,665
Found this.
145
00:04:42,665 --> 00:04:44,067
Ah, this is why
146
00:04:44,067 --> 00:04:45,568
my bullet
didn't kill him.
147
00:04:45,568 --> 00:04:47,170
The deacon wore it
under his shirt.
148
00:04:47,170 --> 00:04:48,671
Oh, that
makes sense.
149
00:04:48,671 --> 00:04:50,640
You know what,
this is a good idea.
150
00:04:50,640 --> 00:04:51,975
You and I
should wear these
151
00:04:51,975 --> 00:04:53,109
at all times.
152
00:04:53,109 --> 00:04:54,410
That'd be
uncomfortable.
153
00:04:54,410 --> 00:04:56,713
Like, whole
body suit.
154
00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:58,081
Sheriff Hoyle,
he's nowhere.
155
00:04:58,081 --> 00:05:00,450
We've looked
everywhere.
156
00:05:00,450 --> 00:05:02,185
We can't find
him either.
157
00:05:02,185 --> 00:05:03,453
Stop looking,
158
00:05:03,453 --> 00:05:04,821
no one's asking
you to look!
159
00:05:04,821 --> 00:05:06,089
What are you
talking about?
160
00:05:06,089 --> 00:05:07,223
I will
find him!
161
00:05:07,223 --> 00:05:09,025
How are you
gonna find him
162
00:05:09,025 --> 00:05:10,126
jibber-jabbing?
163
00:05:10,126 --> 00:05:11,861
I'm using
this, Shank.
164
00:05:11,861 --> 00:05:12,996
I'm gonna
use this,
165
00:05:12,996 --> 00:05:14,530
I'm not gonna
run around
166
00:05:14,530 --> 00:05:16,032
lookin' for him
all over the place.
167
00:05:16,032 --> 00:05:17,800
Runnin' around is how
you find someone!
168
00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:19,902
This man killed
my Aunt Willow!
169
00:05:19,902 --> 00:05:21,170
Wait, she's
your aunt?
170
00:05:21,170 --> 00:05:22,438
Yeah, my
Aunt Willow.
171
00:05:22,438 --> 00:05:23,973
How is that
possible?
172
00:05:23,973 --> 00:05:25,842
My grandfather,
Ezekiel,
173
00:05:25,842 --> 00:05:27,577
married my
cousin, Jane,
174
00:05:27,577 --> 00:05:29,479
and then they
had Willow.
175
00:05:29,479 --> 00:05:30,847
She's a
cous-aunt.
176
00:05:30,847 --> 00:05:32,749
-I got two.
-Oh, cous-aunt.
177
00:05:32,749 --> 00:05:34,584
So she's your cousin
and your aunt.
178
00:05:34,584 --> 00:05:36,019
Yeah, thus
cous-aunt.
179
00:05:36,019 --> 00:05:37,120
-Yeah.
-Okay.
180
00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:38,955
My Aunt Willow
was really
181
00:05:38,955 --> 00:05:41,157
making a footprint
in this town, okay?
182
00:05:41,157 --> 00:05:42,659
In fact, we
were working
183
00:05:42,659 --> 00:05:44,193
on a girl-on-girl
routine.
184
00:05:44,193 --> 00:05:45,194
Oh, you
and her?
185
00:05:45,194 --> 00:05:46,696
-Yeah!
-Oh, God!
186
00:05:46,696 --> 00:05:47,830
Wait, hear
the pitch
187
00:05:47,830 --> 00:05:49,132
before you
snooty-snoot it.
188
00:05:49,132 --> 00:05:50,566
I'm gonna think
it's hot,
189
00:05:50,566 --> 00:05:51,768
but I also think
it's wrong,
190
00:05:51,768 --> 00:05:52,935
which then I
think is hot.
191
00:05:52,935 --> 00:05:54,470
Hoyle,
picture this.
192
00:05:54,470 --> 00:05:55,672
Four breasts.
193
00:05:55,672 --> 00:05:57,607
Two go up and down
on your head,
194
00:05:57,607 --> 00:05:59,776
two go on your
cheeks, and then...
195
00:05:59,776 --> 00:06:02,779
To top it off,
a blow in your ear.
196
00:06:02,779 --> 00:06:05,415
(whistling)
197
00:06:06,549 --> 00:06:08,084
-Okay, that's--
-That ruins it.
198
00:06:08,084 --> 00:06:09,652
That made
me turtle.
199
00:06:09,652 --> 00:06:11,821
A lot of people here
want justice, Sheriff.
200
00:06:11,821 --> 00:06:13,756
He's gonna get
justice, Vernon.
201
00:06:13,756 --> 00:06:14,691
When?
202
00:06:14,691 --> 00:06:16,125
Justice takes time.
203
00:06:16,125 --> 00:06:18,061
First we have to
gather the evidence.
204
00:06:18,061 --> 00:06:19,696
We have to
tag it all.
205
00:06:19,696 --> 00:06:20,930
Then we have
to find him,
206
00:06:20,930 --> 00:06:22,065
we have to
arrest him,
207
00:06:22,065 --> 00:06:23,166
we have to get
him a lawyer,
208
00:06:23,166 --> 00:06:24,567
we have to have
a pre-trial,
209
00:06:24,567 --> 00:06:25,835
then we have
to have a trial,
210
00:06:25,835 --> 00:06:26,969
then we have to have
the sentencing.
211
00:06:26,969 --> 00:06:28,071
So, never,
basically,
212
00:06:28,071 --> 00:06:29,072
is what
you're saying.
213
00:06:29,072 --> 00:06:30,540
What if we skip
some steps
214
00:06:30,540 --> 00:06:32,208
and find him and hang
him ourselves?
215
00:06:32,208 --> 00:06:33,943
Skip some steps!
216
00:06:33,943 --> 00:06:35,812
Skip some steps!
217
00:06:35,812 --> 00:06:37,213
Skip some steps!
218
00:06:37,213 --> 00:06:38,648
Get out of
the way!
219
00:06:38,648 --> 00:06:40,083
Let's skip
some steps
220
00:06:40,083 --> 00:06:41,818
and let's get
right to the noose
221
00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:42,919
and the hanging!
222
00:06:42,919 --> 00:06:44,487
Yeah!
223
00:06:44,487 --> 00:06:46,122
Do not go!
224
00:06:46,122 --> 00:06:47,523
Let's go!
225
00:06:47,523 --> 00:06:49,025
Move!
226
00:06:49,025 --> 00:06:52,829
Well, anarchy has
taken over Great Bend.
227
00:06:52,829 --> 00:06:54,964
But Eli,
we will prevail
228
00:06:54,964 --> 00:06:56,532
because I've
got one thing
229
00:06:56,532 --> 00:06:58,534
that these people
don't have.
230
00:06:58,534 --> 00:06:59,669
A plan?
231
00:06:59,669 --> 00:07:00,903
A Harvard
education.
232
00:07:00,903 --> 00:07:01,904
Oh!
233
00:07:01,904 --> 00:07:03,172
Move it,
little lady!
234
00:07:08,778 --> 00:07:11,080
Hoyle, why are we
standing here?
235
00:07:11,080 --> 00:07:13,182
Eli, do you
happen to know
236
00:07:13,182 --> 00:07:15,985
who was the lead
percussionist
237
00:07:15,985 --> 00:07:18,955
of the Harvard
symphony?
238
00:07:18,955 --> 00:07:21,724
Uh...
239
00:07:21,724 --> 00:07:23,659
I'm doing this
to give you a...
240
00:07:23,659 --> 00:07:25,094
-It's you!
-Yeah!
241
00:07:25,094 --> 00:07:27,096
Oh, okay,
it was you, yeah.
242
00:07:27,096 --> 00:07:28,631
And do you know,
I learned
243
00:07:28,631 --> 00:07:30,466
a great,
great deal
244
00:07:30,466 --> 00:07:32,468
about percussion
instruments,
245
00:07:32,468 --> 00:07:34,137
and I know
one thing.
246
00:07:34,137 --> 00:07:36,639
When you put something
inside a drum,
247
00:07:36,639 --> 00:07:38,574
it makes a
muffled sound.
248
00:07:38,574 --> 00:07:41,110
As I walk along
Mr. Simonson's
249
00:07:41,110 --> 00:07:43,713
grain store
on his boardwalk,
250
00:07:43,713 --> 00:07:45,848
I hear sounds that
aren't muffled.
251
00:07:45,848 --> 00:07:47,517
Like this,
you hear here?
252
00:07:47,517 --> 00:07:49,152
(tapping ferociously)
253
00:07:52,488 --> 00:07:53,656
That's tough,
254
00:07:53,656 --> 00:07:55,558
I was doing
32nd notes there.
255
00:07:55,558 --> 00:07:57,160
I see--it was
pretty good.
256
00:07:57,160 --> 00:08:00,963
But when something's
stuffed inside,
257
00:08:00,963 --> 00:08:03,065
it makes a
muted sound.
258
00:08:03,065 --> 00:08:04,467
Yeah.
259
00:08:04,467 --> 00:08:05,835
The point I'm
making is that
260
00:08:05,835 --> 00:08:08,471
over here, the sound
is more sustained,
261
00:08:08,471 --> 00:08:10,840
whereas over here,
you hear that?
262
00:08:10,840 --> 00:08:13,776
There's a rat hidden
underneath here.
263
00:08:13,776 --> 00:08:15,478
I know, the town's
got a lot of them.
264
00:08:15,478 --> 00:08:17,180
No, but there's
a big rat.
265
00:08:17,180 --> 00:08:19,015
Hoyle, the town is
filled with vermin--
266
00:08:19,015 --> 00:08:21,184
A deacon-size rat!
267
00:08:21,184 --> 00:08:22,718
Oh, that
would be big.
268
00:08:22,718 --> 00:08:24,954
The deacon is
underneath there!
269
00:08:24,954 --> 00:08:26,456
Aren't you,
Deacon?
270
00:08:26,456 --> 00:08:27,857
Well, I guess
you could say
271
00:08:27,857 --> 00:08:29,192
check and
mate, sir,
272
00:08:29,192 --> 00:08:31,093
if you are a
chess-playing man.
273
00:08:31,093 --> 00:08:32,528
I certainly am.
274
00:08:32,528 --> 00:08:33,963
I like to win
with my queen
275
00:08:33,963 --> 00:08:35,164
and my horsies.
276
00:08:35,164 --> 00:08:36,666
I'll see you
soon, sir.
277
00:08:36,666 --> 00:08:38,534
Uh, by the way,
tell Mr. Simonson
278
00:08:38,534 --> 00:08:39,936
he does have
a rat problem.
279
00:08:39,936 --> 00:08:41,437
I certainly will.
280
00:08:41,437 --> 00:08:42,572
Good work.
281
00:08:42,572 --> 00:08:43,739
Good work to you.
282
00:08:43,739 --> 00:08:45,508
Yeah, I know.
283
00:08:45,508 --> 00:08:47,643
All right,
Deacon.
284
00:08:47,643 --> 00:08:50,480
We're gonna have to
impound your firearm
285
00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:53,816
along with this
ingenious device.
286
00:08:53,816 --> 00:08:56,152
Little idea I
had in Abilene.
287
00:08:56,152 --> 00:08:57,987
Wonderful,
wonderful.
288
00:08:57,987 --> 00:08:59,489
Also like to
introduce you
289
00:08:59,489 --> 00:09:01,491
to your cellmate,
this is Henry Joliette.
290
00:09:01,491 --> 00:09:03,159
He, uh, was bitten
by a wild boar.
291
00:09:03,159 --> 00:09:04,494
He has rabies.
292
00:09:04,494 --> 00:09:05,995
Yeah, my--
my family
293
00:09:05,995 --> 00:09:07,797
found me face-down
in the pond,
294
00:09:07,797 --> 00:09:08,898
just trying
to lap up
295
00:09:08,898 --> 00:09:10,600
as much water
as I could,
296
00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:12,668
and they loaded me up,
brought me here.
297
00:09:12,668 --> 00:09:15,571
He suffers from all the
usual rabies symptoms:
298
00:09:15,571 --> 00:09:18,074
inflated
sexual desire
299
00:09:18,074 --> 00:09:19,509
and thirst.
300
00:09:19,509 --> 00:09:20,977
How are you feeling
right now?
301
00:09:20,977 --> 00:09:22,645
Uh, my bones
are on fire.
302
00:09:22,645 --> 00:09:23,613
Uh-huh.
303
00:09:23,613 --> 00:09:25,982
And, uh,
I may be erect.
304
00:09:25,982 --> 00:09:27,717
Had an aunt
in Flagstaff
305
00:09:27,717 --> 00:09:29,719
had the same
malady.
306
00:09:29,719 --> 00:09:31,020
Best thing
for her
307
00:09:31,020 --> 00:09:32,955
was to be shot right
through the eyes.
308
00:09:32,955 --> 00:09:34,423
Now, Henry,
we could do that
309
00:09:34,423 --> 00:09:36,425
for you if
you'd like.
310
00:09:36,425 --> 00:09:38,160
I'd like to take
my chances...
311
00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:39,929
Well, you're
probably gonna die.
312
00:09:39,929 --> 00:09:41,998
No, not probably,
you're gonna die.
313
00:09:41,998 --> 00:09:43,165
Well,
we'll see.
314
00:09:43,165 --> 00:09:44,734
No, you're
gonna, no.
315
00:09:44,734 --> 00:09:46,102
Yes, you will
die, Henry.
316
00:09:46,102 --> 00:09:47,737
Actually, as long
as you're in there,
317
00:09:47,737 --> 00:09:49,038
do you think maybe
I could get
318
00:09:49,038 --> 00:09:50,606
the honeymoon
money back?
319
00:09:50,606 --> 00:09:52,475
I'm afraid that
won't be possible,
320
00:09:52,475 --> 00:09:53,976
my young friend,
for I won it
321
00:09:53,976 --> 00:09:56,012
fair and square
in a game of chance.
322
00:09:56,012 --> 00:09:57,880
Yeah, you lost the money
fair and square,
323
00:09:57,880 --> 00:10:00,483
there is no evidence
that he cheated.
324
00:10:00,483 --> 00:10:03,052
However, if you're
so inclined,
325
00:10:03,052 --> 00:10:05,021
you certainly can win
your money back.
326
00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:06,122
You've got as
good a chance
327
00:10:06,122 --> 00:10:07,189
of winning
at poker
328
00:10:07,189 --> 00:10:08,925
as Henry does
of living.
329
00:10:08,925 --> 00:10:10,226
(shouting)
330
00:10:10,226 --> 00:10:11,928
Jumpin'
Beelzebub!
331
00:10:11,928 --> 00:10:14,463
That looks to be
a lynch mob
332
00:10:14,463 --> 00:10:15,665
gatherin'
out there.
333
00:10:15,665 --> 00:10:16,899
I think you're
right, Deacon,
334
00:10:16,899 --> 00:10:19,468
but I want you
to ease your mind.
335
00:10:19,468 --> 00:10:20,970
I'm gonna go take
a look-see.
336
00:10:20,970 --> 00:10:22,872
Eli, I don't recommend
you playing cards.
337
00:10:22,872 --> 00:10:25,508
All right, I'm gonna
play cards though.
338
00:10:25,508 --> 00:10:26,943
(shouting)
339
00:10:26,943 --> 00:10:28,411
Here he comes.
340
00:10:28,411 --> 00:10:30,413
What is going
on here?
341
00:10:30,413 --> 00:10:31,881
We see Deacon Jim
in there!
342
00:10:31,881 --> 00:10:33,549
We want justice,
Sheriff Hoyle!
343
00:10:33,549 --> 00:10:34,750
Bring him
out here!
344
00:10:34,750 --> 00:10:37,119
Why are you all carrying
gardening tools?
345
00:10:37,119 --> 00:10:39,589
'Cause we're here
to lynch Deacon Jim!
346
00:10:39,589 --> 00:10:41,524
-Yeah!
-Bring him out!
347
00:10:41,524 --> 00:10:42,625
With a rake?
348
00:10:42,625 --> 00:10:43,960
I mean,
what is that,
349
00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:45,962
a branding iron,
it's not even hot.
350
00:10:45,962 --> 00:10:47,630
I don't know, I didn't
think it through.
351
00:10:47,630 --> 00:10:49,599
Yeah, I would go home
and get knives and stuff,
352
00:10:49,599 --> 00:10:50,466
or guns.
353
00:10:50,466 --> 00:10:51,667
Come on, Hoyle.
354
00:10:51,667 --> 00:10:53,202
You know the skinny
on this guy.
355
00:10:53,202 --> 00:10:56,005
Man's been on the owl-hoot
trail for years.
356
00:10:56,005 --> 00:10:57,473
He's despicable,
357
00:10:57,473 --> 00:10:58,941
he even killed his
own grandparents!
358
00:10:58,941 --> 00:11:00,543
Allegedly,
Honey.
359
00:11:00,543 --> 00:11:01,711
It's hearsay
evidence
360
00:11:01,711 --> 00:11:02,945
in the eyes
of the judge.
361
00:11:02,945 --> 00:11:04,714
-Who said?
-Hearsay.
362
00:11:04,714 --> 00:11:06,449
You know what, when
this all blows over,
363
00:11:06,449 --> 00:11:08,451
I'd like to host
a caucus or--
364
00:11:08,451 --> 00:11:09,485
(laughing)
365
00:11:09,485 --> 00:11:10,753
He said cock.
366
00:11:10,753 --> 00:11:13,089
Cauc--I said
caucus.
367
00:11:13,089 --> 00:11:14,757
We'll cock
you later!
368
00:11:14,757 --> 00:11:15,825
Come on!
369
00:11:15,825 --> 00:11:17,526
Okay, I got
a pair of sixes
370
00:11:17,526 --> 00:11:19,095
and a queen high,
is that good?
371
00:11:19,095 --> 00:11:20,229
That's very good.
372
00:11:20,229 --> 00:11:21,530
I got four kings.
373
00:11:21,530 --> 00:11:23,199
-Okay, so did I win?
-No.
374
00:11:23,199 --> 00:11:25,801
Okay, I'm gonna need to
borrow some more money.
375
00:11:25,801 --> 00:11:27,737
No, no, no, Henry,
that's my money.
376
00:11:27,737 --> 00:11:30,439
Take care of
my chickens.
377
00:11:30,439 --> 00:11:33,142
Is there anything I
need to do for 'em?
378
00:11:33,142 --> 00:11:36,646
♪
379
00:11:36,646 --> 00:11:38,814
Bring this woman
in here with me.
380
00:11:38,814 --> 00:11:40,449
Henry.
381
00:11:40,449 --> 00:11:41,817
Henry, let go of
the merchandise.
382
00:11:41,817 --> 00:11:43,185
You're gonna want
to let go of me.
383
00:11:43,185 --> 00:11:44,854
That's no way
to treat a woman.
384
00:11:44,854 --> 00:11:46,989
Well, my Aunt Willow's
death came quick,
385
00:11:46,989 --> 00:11:49,425
so we want justice
just as quick!
386
00:11:49,425 --> 00:11:50,960
-Yeah!
-That's fair.
387
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:53,029
I know she meant a
lot to you, Honey.
388
00:11:53,029 --> 00:11:55,598
I know she
was your...
389
00:11:55,598 --> 00:11:57,199
-...cousin-aunt.
-Cous-aunt.
390
00:11:57,199 --> 00:11:58,834
In some regions,
it's "caunt."
391
00:11:58,834 --> 00:12:00,202
I call it
"cous-aunt."
392
00:12:00,202 --> 00:12:02,138
There's just different
ways to say it.
393
00:12:02,138 --> 00:12:05,207
Well, your caunt is,
you know, she died.
394
00:12:05,207 --> 00:12:06,609
I know
that she was
395
00:12:06,609 --> 00:12:07,810
an important member
of the town,
396
00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:09,712
I know all,
all of the men
397
00:12:09,712 --> 00:12:10,946
and some of the
women in town
398
00:12:10,946 --> 00:12:12,581
really enjoyed
her bosoms.
399
00:12:12,581 --> 00:12:14,183
They made
great pillows.
400
00:12:14,183 --> 00:12:15,951
My caunt is
precious,
401
00:12:15,951 --> 00:12:17,753
my caunt is
beautiful,
402
00:12:17,753 --> 00:12:20,656
and my caunt
deserves justice.
403
00:12:20,656 --> 00:12:22,458
She had one of
the nicest caunts
404
00:12:22,458 --> 00:12:23,859
that we have ever
seen in this town.
405
00:12:23,859 --> 00:12:25,494
Look, I think
we can all agree
406
00:12:25,494 --> 00:12:27,563
we all love
Honey's caunt,
407
00:12:27,563 --> 00:12:30,032
but just because she
was special to you,
408
00:12:30,032 --> 00:12:32,034
let me handle it
the way I've handled
409
00:12:32,034 --> 00:12:33,936
all of the crimes
in this town.
410
00:12:33,936 --> 00:12:36,405
-With poetry?
-Incompetently?
411
00:12:36,405 --> 00:12:38,708
Mr. Shank,
I recall once
412
00:12:38,708 --> 00:12:41,711
when your baby doll
collection was stolen,
413
00:12:41,711 --> 00:12:44,180
and somebody used the
evidence at the scene
414
00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:45,581
to track
them down
415
00:12:45,581 --> 00:12:46,949
and find out
where they were.
416
00:12:46,949 --> 00:12:48,718
He's right, they were
in my basement.
417
00:12:48,718 --> 00:12:50,820
Who was the one who
found patient zero
418
00:12:50,820 --> 00:12:53,055
who was spreading all
the crabs to the town?
419
00:12:53,055 --> 00:12:54,690
I said I
was sorry.
420
00:12:54,690 --> 00:12:57,693
Now, I say everybody
just calm it down.
421
00:12:57,693 --> 00:12:59,829
Don't worry,
my knowledge of the law
422
00:12:59,829 --> 00:13:02,598
is such that I reckon
that Deacon Jim
423
00:13:02,598 --> 00:13:04,433
will be spending
many a year
424
00:13:04,433 --> 00:13:06,569
breaking rocks
at Leavenworth.
425
00:13:06,569 --> 00:13:08,137
-Leavenworth?
-He's not gonna hang?
426
00:13:08,137 --> 00:13:10,606
When you accidentally
shoot a whore,
427
00:13:10,606 --> 00:13:13,476
you do ten years
in Leavenworth!
428
00:13:13,476 --> 00:13:16,045
Bring him
out here!
429
00:13:16,045 --> 00:13:18,180
Everybody
calm down!
430
00:13:18,180 --> 00:13:19,949
(all shouting)
431
00:13:19,949 --> 00:13:21,650
Pearl's gonna
kill me.
432
00:13:21,650 --> 00:13:23,552
If I can just have
the honeymoon money,
433
00:13:23,552 --> 00:13:24,987
you can have the horse
and clothes
434
00:13:24,987 --> 00:13:28,224
and bullets
and boots.
435
00:13:28,224 --> 00:13:29,959
Henry, are you
all right?
436
00:13:29,959 --> 00:13:33,195
Oh, goodness,
good gracious.
437
00:13:33,195 --> 00:13:35,898
No, I don't like hands
upon my bare flesh!
438
00:13:35,898 --> 00:13:37,500
Henry,
Henry.
439
00:13:37,500 --> 00:13:38,701
(screaming)
440
00:13:44,907 --> 00:13:46,008
♪
441
00:13:46,008 --> 00:13:47,843
Got a plan
to get Deacon.
442
00:13:47,843 --> 00:13:49,945
I got this white powder
from the Cherokee,
443
00:13:49,945 --> 00:13:51,647
gonna sprinkle it
on their food,
444
00:13:51,647 --> 00:13:52,848
they're gonna
eat the food,
445
00:13:52,848 --> 00:13:54,016
they're gonna
fall asleep,
446
00:13:54,016 --> 00:13:55,184
and we're gonna
grab the deacon
447
00:13:55,184 --> 00:13:56,752
and bring him
to justice.
448
00:13:56,752 --> 00:13:58,521
Ladies, I have
bad news, okay?
449
00:13:58,521 --> 00:13:59,855
What's the
matter, Wanda?
450
00:13:59,855 --> 00:14:01,457
I was in the outhouse
doing my business.
451
00:14:01,457 --> 00:14:02,825
Oh, I don't want
to hear about this.
452
00:14:02,825 --> 00:14:04,059
Number one,
not number two.
453
00:14:04,059 --> 00:14:05,060
Okay, proceed.
454
00:14:05,060 --> 00:14:06,529
Okay, and I
come out
455
00:14:06,529 --> 00:14:08,063
and who do I see
on horse and buggy?
456
00:14:08,063 --> 00:14:10,099
Hoyle, he's got
Deacon Jim with him,
457
00:14:10,099 --> 00:14:11,934
we got no time for
any elaborate plans.
458
00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:12,935
We gotta go,
459
00:14:12,935 --> 00:14:14,170
we gotta cut
dirt right now.
460
00:14:14,170 --> 00:14:15,471
Wait, is
Eli there?
461
00:14:15,471 --> 00:14:16,672
No, no, I didn't
see him there.
462
00:14:16,672 --> 00:14:18,607
All right, look,
you go find Eli,
463
00:14:18,607 --> 00:14:20,209
Wanda and I are gonna
gather up the townspeople,
464
00:14:20,209 --> 00:14:21,744
we'll cut
off Hoyle,
465
00:14:21,744 --> 00:14:23,445
and we'll all meet back
at the hanging tree.
466
00:14:23,445 --> 00:14:24,747
You get me
my money!
467
00:14:24,747 --> 00:14:26,081
Oh, you're going
on your honeymoon!
468
00:14:26,081 --> 00:14:27,883
I need
that trip!
469
00:14:27,883 --> 00:14:29,685
(horses neighing)
470
00:14:29,685 --> 00:14:31,487
Cut him off
at the shake!
471
00:14:31,487 --> 00:14:33,756
I'm movin'!
472
00:14:33,756 --> 00:14:35,524
Hold up, Hoyle!
473
00:14:35,524 --> 00:14:36,759
Stop, stop!
474
00:14:36,759 --> 00:14:38,594
Right where
you are!
475
00:14:38,594 --> 00:14:40,529
What do you think
you're doing,
476
00:14:40,529 --> 00:14:41,864
Great Bendians?
477
00:14:41,864 --> 00:14:43,065
We're takin'
Deacon Jim, Hoyle.
478
00:14:43,065 --> 00:14:45,067
Give him to
us, Hoyle!
479
00:14:45,067 --> 00:14:47,636
You're pointing firearms
at an officer of the law.
480
00:14:47,636 --> 00:14:49,038
You're not gonna
take him out of town
481
00:14:49,038 --> 00:14:50,906
without letting me
get a crack at him.
482
00:14:50,906 --> 00:14:52,808
I'm not gonna
let a mob
483
00:14:52,808 --> 00:14:55,477
decide his fate,
if that's what you think.
484
00:14:55,477 --> 00:14:57,446
It's not a mob!
We're a group.
485
00:14:57,446 --> 00:14:58,781
It's not--
it doesn't--
486
00:14:58,781 --> 00:15:00,216
and you need more
people to make a mob.
487
00:15:00,216 --> 00:15:01,951
This is a mob,
I'm telling you.
488
00:15:01,951 --> 00:15:03,519
It's a small
group!
489
00:15:03,519 --> 00:15:05,921
It's an intimate
gathering of people!
490
00:15:05,921 --> 00:15:07,590
Wanda, that is
a loaded gun.
491
00:15:07,590 --> 00:15:08,791
Do not wave
it around.
492
00:15:08,791 --> 00:15:10,125
I've been
holdin' a gun
493
00:15:10,125 --> 00:15:13,028
since I could...make
words with my mouth.
494
00:15:13,028 --> 00:15:14,496
Wanda, I am
warning you.
495
00:15:14,496 --> 00:15:16,031
You be careful
with that firearm
496
00:15:16,031 --> 00:15:18,000
or I will knock it
out of your hand.
497
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:19,869
Yeah, you're gonna knock
this out of my hand?
498
00:15:19,869 --> 00:15:20,970
Yes, I will.
499
00:15:20,970 --> 00:15:22,071
I'm gonna knock
your brains
500
00:15:22,071 --> 00:15:23,572
out of
your head.
501
00:15:23,572 --> 00:15:25,608
(gunshots)
502
00:15:30,212 --> 00:15:31,981
Nice!
503
00:15:31,981 --> 00:15:33,449
It's laundry day.
504
00:15:33,449 --> 00:15:40,522
♪
505
00:15:40,522 --> 00:15:41,891
I have some
good news.
506
00:15:41,891 --> 00:15:43,192
Hey, Pearl.
507
00:15:43,192 --> 00:15:45,027
Honey's gonna get
our money back.
508
00:15:45,027 --> 00:15:47,529
And if we leave right after
the deacon gets hung,
509
00:15:47,529 --> 00:15:50,699
we'll make the
four o'clock train.
510
00:15:50,699 --> 00:15:52,468
You even make
one motion
511
00:15:52,468 --> 00:15:53,969
to shooting
me, Hoyle,
512
00:15:53,969 --> 00:15:55,938
I'm giving you the silent
treatment for life.
513
00:15:55,938 --> 00:15:58,474
I'm not gonna let you
read your poems to me.
514
00:15:58,474 --> 00:15:59,108
None of 'em?
515
00:15:59,108 --> 00:16:00,676
Nope, put it down
516
00:16:00,676 --> 00:16:02,678
if you want to share
some feelings with me.
517
00:16:02,678 --> 00:16:03,779
You're right.
518
00:16:03,779 --> 00:16:04,914
I'm gonna give
you the deacon.
519
00:16:04,914 --> 00:16:06,115
Yeah, give me
that deacon.
520
00:16:06,115 --> 00:16:07,850
This is what
mob rule does.
521
00:16:07,850 --> 00:16:09,551
Here's your
deacon.
522
00:16:09,551 --> 00:16:10,786
Whoa!
523
00:16:10,786 --> 00:16:12,454
Oh, it does
my heart good
524
00:16:12,454 --> 00:16:14,223
to see a young couple
in the bonds
525
00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:16,625
of matrimonial
foreplay.
526
00:16:16,625 --> 00:16:17,760
What is he
doing here?
527
00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:18,961
Yeah, well, so,
528
00:16:18,961 --> 00:16:20,896
Hoyle's carrying
out Joliette,
529
00:16:20,896 --> 00:16:24,667
but I am supposed to
take him to Dodge City.
530
00:16:24,667 --> 00:16:25,901
Why do you do
everything
531
00:16:25,901 --> 00:16:27,036
that Hoyle says?
532
00:16:27,036 --> 00:16:28,637
No, no, but
that's the thing
533
00:16:28,637 --> 00:16:29,972
is that I was
gonna do a thing
534
00:16:29,972 --> 00:16:31,941
that Hoyle
didn't say also,
535
00:16:31,941 --> 00:16:34,410
which is I was gonna
steal back the money
536
00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:36,912
before turning him in
to the authorities.
537
00:16:36,912 --> 00:16:38,614
You were gonna
steal his money!
538
00:16:38,614 --> 00:16:39,915
Yeah, I was
gonna steal--
539
00:16:39,915 --> 00:16:41,951
well, it's our
money at first.
540
00:16:41,951 --> 00:16:44,119
Came up with it all
on his own, he did.
541
00:16:44,119 --> 00:16:46,622
Well, I'm so
proud of you.
542
00:16:46,622 --> 00:16:47,790
Yeah?
543
00:16:47,790 --> 00:16:49,925
Yeah, I'm so
proud of you!
544
00:16:49,925 --> 00:16:51,560
I'm proud of me
a little, too.
545
00:16:51,560 --> 00:16:52,995
Except that I have
a different plan.
546
00:16:52,995 --> 00:16:54,496
Oh?
547
00:16:54,496 --> 00:16:56,598
-The chicken farmer?
-That's right.
548
00:16:56,598 --> 00:16:58,734
I guess you're not gonna
get your deacon, Honey.
549
00:16:58,734 --> 00:17:00,703
Maybe so,
Hoyle.
550
00:17:00,703 --> 00:17:02,738
Pearl.
551
00:17:02,738 --> 00:17:03,806
Get in.
552
00:17:03,806 --> 00:17:05,040
Come on,
again?
553
00:17:05,040 --> 00:17:06,842
I don't want you
to get fired.
554
00:17:06,842 --> 00:17:08,143
I just
married you.
555
00:17:08,143 --> 00:17:10,713
What if I have to
support both of us?
556
00:17:10,713 --> 00:17:13,082
-Come on, again?
-Get in.
557
00:17:13,082 --> 00:17:14,516
Well, I guess
I don't have
558
00:17:14,516 --> 00:17:16,585
this cell by
myself anymore.
559
00:17:16,585 --> 00:17:17,920
No, you're
getting out.
560
00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:19,455
Oh.
561
00:17:19,455 --> 00:17:21,423
That changes
the equation.
562
00:17:21,423 --> 00:17:23,125
♪
563
00:17:23,125 --> 00:17:24,994
This is for your
own good, okay?
564
00:17:24,994 --> 00:17:26,528
How is this
for my own good?
565
00:17:26,528 --> 00:17:27,830
By the time
I hang him,
566
00:17:27,830 --> 00:17:30,532
we can still catch
the four o'clock train.
567
00:17:30,532 --> 00:17:32,234
I can't wait to
get my new hat!
568
00:17:32,234 --> 00:17:33,802
Okay, you
come with me.
569
00:17:33,802 --> 00:17:35,137
Now, I don't think
this is a good way
570
00:17:35,137 --> 00:17:36,605
to start
a marriage.
571
00:17:36,605 --> 00:17:38,807
Good amount of trust
that should be involved.
572
00:17:38,807 --> 00:17:39,775
Bye.
573
00:17:39,775 --> 00:17:40,743
Thanks.
574
00:17:40,743 --> 00:17:41,944
Pearl!
575
00:17:41,944 --> 00:17:44,747
Pearl, I still
have the keys!
576
00:17:44,747 --> 00:17:48,050
Oh, yeah, I suppose
I can just go out.
577
00:17:48,050 --> 00:17:51,820
Good--good job,
you got us this time.
578
00:17:51,820 --> 00:17:54,089
We may have to delay
that trip to Dodge City.
579
00:17:54,089 --> 00:17:55,591
Something is up.
580
00:17:55,591 --> 00:17:56,992
I'm going back
to town.
581
00:17:56,992 --> 00:17:59,828
Oh, Jesus!
582
00:18:05,067 --> 00:18:07,669
(shouting)
583
00:18:10,105 --> 00:18:11,907
All right,
all right, quiet!
584
00:18:11,907 --> 00:18:13,709
-Quiet down.
-Quiet.
585
00:18:13,709 --> 00:18:15,210
Let's get this
party started.
586
00:18:15,210 --> 00:18:16,979
Deacon Jim, you have
any last words
587
00:18:16,979 --> 00:18:18,580
before we
string you up?
588
00:18:18,580 --> 00:18:19,915
Yes, I do.
589
00:18:19,915 --> 00:18:22,184
I have no regrets,
I have had a good run.
590
00:18:22,184 --> 00:18:24,520
I have met and spoken
to and murdered
591
00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:26,455
many interesting
people.
592
00:18:26,455 --> 00:18:27,890
He don't
look good.
593
00:18:27,890 --> 00:18:30,025
And yea,
though I walk
594
00:18:30,025 --> 00:18:31,760
in the valley
of the darkness...
595
00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:34,596
His pupils are
just pulsating.
596
00:18:34,596 --> 00:18:38,033
...I fear not,
for the Lord is...
597
00:18:38,033 --> 00:18:39,535
my staff...
598
00:18:39,535 --> 00:18:40,636
Sum it up.
599
00:18:40,636 --> 00:18:41,837
...and rod.
600
00:18:41,837 --> 00:18:44,840
Anybody have
a cup of water?
601
00:18:44,840 --> 00:18:46,675
He's getting a case
of the chickens.
602
00:18:46,675 --> 00:18:48,510
Are we, uh,
wrapped up?
603
00:18:48,510 --> 00:18:49,812
I, I think so.
604
00:18:49,812 --> 00:18:51,146
Let her rip!
605
00:18:51,146 --> 00:18:52,548
What is this
on your neck?
606
00:18:52,548 --> 00:18:54,116
Oh, uh, I have
been bitten
607
00:18:54,116 --> 00:18:57,786
by one
Henry Joliette.
608
00:18:57,786 --> 00:18:59,721
I just have one
final request.
609
00:18:59,721 --> 00:19:00,789
One more?
610
00:19:00,789 --> 00:19:02,691
I can just have
20 more seconds.
611
00:19:02,691 --> 00:19:04,026
For what?
612
00:19:04,026 --> 00:19:05,928
Twenty more seconds
that I could have...
613
00:19:05,928 --> 00:19:07,663
time with
a good woman!
614
00:19:07,663 --> 00:19:10,065
(screaming)
615
00:19:14,403 --> 00:19:20,075
♪
616
00:19:20,075 --> 00:19:22,678
(screaming)
617
00:19:22,678 --> 00:19:28,050
♪
618
00:19:28,050 --> 00:19:31,053
(guns firing)
619
00:19:31,053 --> 00:19:51,807
♪
620
00:19:51,807 --> 00:19:54,810
(guns clicking)
621
00:19:54,810 --> 00:20:15,063
♪
622
00:20:15,063 --> 00:20:16,632
That'll do it.
623
00:20:20,469 --> 00:20:22,738
God.
624
00:20:22,738 --> 00:20:25,841
Yeah,
he's dead.
625
00:20:25,841 --> 00:20:28,810
Looks like he contracted
the rabies from Joliette.
626
00:20:28,810 --> 00:20:30,712
Yeah, and it probably
didn't help
627
00:20:30,712 --> 00:20:33,615
that you unloaded your
pistol into his chest.
628
00:20:33,615 --> 00:20:35,884
You know what?
I hope you're happy.
629
00:20:35,884 --> 00:20:37,052
You know,
I asked you
630
00:20:37,052 --> 00:20:39,721
to let due process
take place.
631
00:20:39,721 --> 00:20:41,957
But no, you had to rush,
and now look.
632
00:20:41,957 --> 00:20:44,459
If it wasn't for myself
and my deputy,
633
00:20:44,459 --> 00:20:46,695
you all would be foaming
at the mouth right now,
634
00:20:46,695 --> 00:20:47,863
having sex
and looking
635
00:20:47,863 --> 00:20:49,097
for a glass of
water to drink.
636
00:20:49,097 --> 00:20:50,465
Is that what
you want?
637
00:20:50,465 --> 00:20:51,667
Didn't think
it through.
638
00:20:51,667 --> 00:20:53,769
We have rules!
639
00:20:53,769 --> 00:20:55,804
All of the men
here are dressed
640
00:20:55,804 --> 00:20:57,906
in 19 layers
of clothing
641
00:20:57,906 --> 00:20:59,575
for a reason!
642
00:20:59,575 --> 00:21:01,643
It's a rule!
643
00:21:01,643 --> 00:21:04,046
Women don't vote
for a reason!
644
00:21:04,046 --> 00:21:05,881
Because it's
a rule!
645
00:21:05,881 --> 00:21:07,449
You want to go
back to the days
646
00:21:07,449 --> 00:21:09,484
when the Celts
just ran wild?
647
00:21:09,484 --> 00:21:10,919
You know,
anarchy?
648
00:21:10,919 --> 00:21:13,121
You don't like somebody,
you chop their head off?
649
00:21:13,121 --> 00:21:15,591
No, society
began to form
650
00:21:15,591 --> 00:21:17,025
when the Romans
came in.
651
00:21:17,025 --> 00:21:19,494
Yes, they had sex
with young boys,
652
00:21:19,494 --> 00:21:22,030
but they also paved
straight roads.
653
00:21:22,030 --> 00:21:23,565
Without
straight roads,
654
00:21:23,565 --> 00:21:26,134
we don't get our eggs
or our chicken
655
00:21:26,134 --> 00:21:27,669
or our apples.
656
00:21:27,669 --> 00:21:29,037
Is that what
you want?
657
00:21:29,037 --> 00:21:30,772
I've never seen you
this fired up.
658
00:21:30,772 --> 00:21:32,474
Well, I'm
disappointed.
659
00:21:32,474 --> 00:21:33,609
-Oh.
-I am.
660
00:21:33,609 --> 00:21:34,977
Please don't
say that.
661
00:21:34,977 --> 00:21:36,445
You know that's a
trigger word for me.
662
00:21:36,445 --> 00:21:37,980
Of all people.
663
00:21:37,980 --> 00:21:39,615
You want to come
over and have
664
00:21:39,615 --> 00:21:41,016
a little potluck
at my place?
665
00:21:41,016 --> 00:21:42,684
I'm gonna cook
up some badger.
666
00:21:42,684 --> 00:21:44,119
No, I don't
want badger.
667
00:21:44,119 --> 00:21:46,555
I shan't be eating
badger today.
668
00:21:46,555 --> 00:21:48,590
Enjoy your chaos.
669
00:21:48,590 --> 00:21:50,859
Anarchists!
670
00:21:50,859 --> 00:21:52,728
Enjoy it.
671
00:21:52,728 --> 00:21:54,162
Oh, Hoyle,
come on.
672
00:21:54,162 --> 00:21:56,164
What a baby.
673
00:21:56,164 --> 00:21:57,899
Hoyle, wait,
wait, wait.
674
00:21:57,899 --> 00:21:59,234
Let me talk to you
for a second.
675
00:21:59,234 --> 00:22:00,636
I don't want
to talk, Honey.
676
00:22:00,636 --> 00:22:02,037
I don't want you
to be upset.
677
00:22:02,037 --> 00:22:03,905
What do you think
they're saying?
678
00:22:03,905 --> 00:22:06,008
"Hoyle, all I hear
when you talk
679
00:22:06,008 --> 00:22:07,976
about useless
information is..."
680
00:22:07,976 --> 00:22:10,846
(incoherent babbling)
681
00:22:10,846 --> 00:22:12,047
"I don't want
to talk to you.
682
00:22:12,047 --> 00:22:13,482
I want to be
all by myself
683
00:22:13,482 --> 00:22:14,850
where I can be
with my thoughts."
684
00:22:14,850 --> 00:22:16,918
"Your hands
are so dainty.
685
00:22:16,918 --> 00:22:19,988
I wish you knew
how to pleasure me."
686
00:22:19,988 --> 00:22:21,523
I should take care
of this body.
687
00:22:21,523 --> 00:22:22,958
"When's lunch?
688
00:22:22,958 --> 00:22:24,459
When's lunch?"
689
00:22:24,459 --> 00:22:25,961
Do you want to help me
lift this in the wagon?
690
00:22:25,961 --> 00:22:27,229
-No, I'm bored.
-Okay.
691
00:22:36,204 --> 00:22:40,140
♪
45286
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