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1
00:00:01,583 --> 00:00:04,319
What are you all looking at, huh?
2
00:00:04,486 --> 00:00:06,254
- Come out for the show?
HOYLE: Excuse me.
3
00:00:06,388 --> 00:00:09,625
JEREMIAH: What do you want
with the blue hat bonnet?
4
00:00:09,758 --> 00:00:11,660
- What the heck's going on here?
- I hate all of you.
5
00:00:11,994 --> 00:00:13,528
That's Jeremiah Dunlop.
6
00:00:13,662 --> 00:00:16,398
He threatens to kill himself
once every few weeks.
7
00:00:16,565 --> 00:00:19,401
- I'm coming, Lord.
- Come on, Jeremiah.
8
00:00:19,568 --> 00:00:23,605
Fortunately I took a negotiating class
at Harvard University so I can--
9
00:00:23,739 --> 00:00:26,074
Don't worry. I'll handle this, everybody.
10
00:00:26,241 --> 00:00:28,043
- Mr. Dunlop.
- What do you want?
11
00:00:28,210 --> 00:00:30,345
I am the sheriff of Great Bend.
12
00:00:30,479 --> 00:00:33,115
- I understand that you--
- Well, how do you do?
13
00:00:33,281 --> 00:00:35,684
How do you do?
We would rather you not go up there.
14
00:00:36,018 --> 00:00:37,786
We're a little concerned
about your health, sir.
15
00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:39,121
[BELCHES]
16
00:00:39,254 --> 00:00:40,622
Oh, that was polite.
17
00:00:40,789 --> 00:00:43,525
HOYLE:
Sir, while John Stuart Mill argued
18
00:00:43,692 --> 00:00:46,428
that in his book, his treatise on liberty,
19
00:00:46,561 --> 00:00:49,097
that you have the right to kill yourself,
20
00:00:49,231 --> 00:00:52,300
he felt strongly
that you should not use that right.
21
00:00:52,467 --> 00:00:55,103
- Oh!
HOYLE: No, no, no!
22
00:00:55,237 --> 00:00:58,306
Mr. Dunlop, what could you
possibly have to gain
23
00:00:58,473 --> 00:01:00,409
by jumping here and ending your life?
24
00:01:01,076 --> 00:01:02,511
A big Irish wake!
25
00:01:02,678 --> 00:01:05,113
CROWD: Yeah!
- We're gonna have free food!
26
00:01:05,247 --> 00:01:06,682
HOYLE: No.
- Free booze!
27
00:01:07,015 --> 00:01:08,617
- Yeah!
- Free whores!
28
00:01:08,750 --> 00:01:09,785
MEN:
Yeah!
29
00:01:10,118 --> 00:01:13,155
- And I'm gonna pay for everything.
CROWD: Yeah!
30
00:01:13,321 --> 00:01:15,457
- Here I come.
HOYLE: No, no, no.
31
00:01:15,624 --> 00:01:17,159
ELI:
Jeremiah!
32
00:01:17,526 --> 00:01:18,527
[CROWD GROANING]
33
00:01:18,660 --> 00:01:19,728
VERNON:
Yes.
34
00:01:20,062 --> 00:01:21,163
WANDA:
Oh, God.
35
00:01:22,464 --> 00:01:23,565
[HOYLE SIGHS]
36
00:01:23,699 --> 00:01:29,137
I actually failed jumper negotiation class
at Harvard but don't pass it around.
37
00:01:29,771 --> 00:01:31,373
WANDA:
I'm gonna puke.
38
00:01:31,506 --> 00:01:33,775
Yeah. Try to find his other leg.
39
00:01:34,109 --> 00:01:36,278
Looks like both eyeballs
popped out of his skull.
40
00:01:36,411 --> 00:01:37,779
Oh, here's one right here.
41
00:01:49,524 --> 00:01:52,060
ELI:
You made a good coffin for Jeremiah.
42
00:01:52,227 --> 00:01:54,329
VERNON:
I put my heart into it.
43
00:01:54,463 --> 00:01:59,234
He threatened to kill himself,
but he always landed in that trough.
44
00:01:59,367 --> 00:02:01,570
- Always landed.
- Terrific aim.
45
00:02:01,703 --> 00:02:05,006
Mm-hm. It was really something
how after three years
46
00:02:05,140 --> 00:02:06,508
that trough being in the same place,
47
00:02:06,641 --> 00:02:08,477
it suddenly moved, huh, Vernon?
48
00:02:08,610 --> 00:02:11,780
It was a slow month,
and it was what he wanted.
49
00:02:12,114 --> 00:02:13,415
HONEY:
Mm-hm.
50
00:02:13,548 --> 00:02:15,550
[PIANO PLAYING]
51
00:02:17,052 --> 00:02:18,620
- You still thirsty, Wanda?
WANDA: Yeah, fill her up.
52
00:02:18,754 --> 00:02:20,422
Okay.
53
00:02:22,124 --> 00:02:24,526
Get rid of him.
He doesn't have any money.
54
00:02:30,632 --> 00:02:33,301
Mrs. Dunlop, I just want to express
55
00:02:33,435 --> 00:02:36,304
my deepest sympathy for your loss.
56
00:02:37,372 --> 00:02:40,375
Two husbands like this back-to-back,
this must be
57
00:02:42,043 --> 00:02:43,645
really difficult.
58
00:02:43,779 --> 00:02:48,383
And, you know, we're all looking
at ourselves and, you know,
59
00:02:48,517 --> 00:02:49,751
what we could have done differently.
60
00:02:50,085 --> 00:02:51,753
I blame myself.
61
00:02:52,521 --> 00:02:54,723
You should blame yourself.
62
00:02:55,056 --> 00:02:57,993
- What do you mean?
- You're the reason why he fell off the roof.
63
00:02:58,126 --> 00:03:02,297
I am not. I'm gonna say something
here that's very direct.
64
00:03:02,430 --> 00:03:04,566
He was a lost cause.
65
00:03:04,733 --> 00:03:08,336
I mean, that man wanted to die,
and I don't know where
66
00:03:08,470 --> 00:03:12,541
that horrible, horrible self-loathing
came from.
67
00:03:12,674 --> 00:03:15,443
I imagine, you know,
from his marriage--
68
00:03:15,610 --> 00:03:17,345
His marriage was just fine.
69
00:03:17,479 --> 00:03:20,315
I know he was always very happy
here at the saloon.
70
00:03:20,482 --> 00:03:23,084
I saw him here on countless occasions.
71
00:03:23,251 --> 00:03:26,588
Hey, you guys, get your drinks up.
72
00:03:26,721 --> 00:03:29,491
We're toasting Jeremiah.
73
00:03:29,658 --> 00:03:32,527
The only man
that made me feel comfortable
74
00:03:32,661 --> 00:03:34,663
with my legs behind my head.
75
00:03:35,397 --> 00:03:36,698
ELI:
Funny man.
76
00:03:37,599 --> 00:03:39,634
- Are you ready to have a real drink?
- Hi.
77
00:03:40,001 --> 00:03:42,003
No, we are not ready
to have a real drink!
78
00:03:42,137 --> 00:03:44,439
Well, meow, meow, meow.
79
00:03:44,573 --> 00:03:45,707
It's getting very feisty today.
80
00:03:46,041 --> 00:03:48,276
We're throwing you
a really nice party here.
81
00:03:48,443 --> 00:03:50,412
I'm throwing a nice party here.
82
00:03:50,579 --> 00:03:52,614
[MRS. DUNLOP READS SIGN]
83
00:03:52,781 --> 00:03:55,550
- Who do you think's paying for that?
- He wanted it that way.
84
00:03:55,717 --> 00:03:58,286
Get your drinks up for Jeremiah.
85
00:03:58,420 --> 00:04:01,389
One funny, funny guy.
86
00:04:01,523 --> 00:04:03,558
- Funny man.
- Very funny. Jeremiah.
87
00:04:03,692 --> 00:04:05,660
Ha-ha-ha! Drink.
88
00:04:06,027 --> 00:04:07,529
HONEY:
I didn't come over here to argue.
89
00:04:07,696 --> 00:04:12,167
I actually wanted to congratulate you
on the fact that you are now a free woman.
90
00:04:12,334 --> 00:04:16,137
I know you got a hunk of money
when your first husband went
91
00:04:16,271 --> 00:04:18,773
and now that you got rid
of the second one, now it's just you.
92
00:04:19,107 --> 00:04:23,111
Yeah, that second one spent
half of that money here at your saloon.
93
00:04:23,245 --> 00:04:27,282
I understand that,
but he did also have a really good time.
94
00:04:27,449 --> 00:04:30,652
- Jeremiah was a tall man.
- Whoo!
95
00:04:30,785 --> 00:04:33,021
You see?
Even your own deputy is drunk.
96
00:04:33,188 --> 00:04:35,390
Why, I am very disappointed.
97
00:04:35,557 --> 00:04:37,626
I think the drinking
in this town needs to stop.
98
00:04:37,759 --> 00:04:40,562
I think it is the root of all evil.
99
00:04:40,729 --> 00:04:43,265
Livinia, what else do we have
to look forward to, you know?
100
00:04:43,431 --> 00:04:48,470
We've got gangrene, rabies, scabies.
Nothing is easy around here.
101
00:04:48,637 --> 00:04:51,606
I mean, what's next?
You're gonna take away our guns
102
00:04:51,740 --> 00:04:53,441
so we can't defend ourselves?
103
00:04:53,608 --> 00:04:55,443
Are you gonna take away prostitution?
104
00:04:55,577 --> 00:04:57,512
Oh. That will never happen.
105
00:04:57,646 --> 00:04:59,381
HONEY:
That will never happen.
106
00:04:59,514 --> 00:05:01,283
You tangled with the wrong woman,
Honey.
107
00:05:01,416 --> 00:05:02,550
This is between you and me.
108
00:05:02,684 --> 00:05:04,519
And this saloon is going down.
109
00:05:07,389 --> 00:05:08,523
[SIGHS]
110
00:05:08,657 --> 00:05:10,525
- Could I get a Black Stripe?
- Mm-hm.
111
00:05:10,659 --> 00:05:12,160
And some oral sex?
112
00:05:12,294 --> 00:05:14,763
- Me giving it to you, yeah.
- Yep.
113
00:05:15,130 --> 00:05:16,431
Jeremiah.
114
00:05:16,564 --> 00:05:18,099
ALL:
Jeremiah.
115
00:05:21,736 --> 00:05:25,006
We are the Women's Christian
Temperance League,
116
00:05:25,173 --> 00:05:28,009
and we demand that this saloon
be shut down.
117
00:05:28,176 --> 00:05:30,712
Nobody shuts down a saloon.
118
00:05:31,079 --> 00:05:33,081
Alcohol has to be rid from this town.
119
00:05:33,214 --> 00:05:36,117
- You need to be rid from this town.
- Thank you. Listen.
120
00:05:36,251 --> 00:05:37,786
Don't try to take a drink away from me.
121
00:05:38,153 --> 00:05:40,021
HONEY:
Don't make her angry, please.
122
00:05:40,188 --> 00:05:42,257
- I'll break this over your pretty little nose.
- She will.
123
00:05:42,390 --> 00:05:43,792
So you might wanna watch it.
124
00:05:44,125 --> 00:05:45,427
What's going on here, everybody?
125
00:05:45,560 --> 00:05:48,063
I don't know.
Livinia's talking trash about--
126
00:05:48,196 --> 00:05:49,731
- Meow, meow.
- Yeah, bah-bah-bah.
127
00:05:50,065 --> 00:05:51,399
Well, sheriff, I'm so glad you're here.
128
00:05:51,533 --> 00:05:54,669
I have an official document here
endorsed
129
00:05:55,003 --> 00:05:57,238
by the Women's Christian
Temperance League
130
00:05:57,372 --> 00:05:59,341
and signed by our mayor
131
00:05:59,507 --> 00:06:03,178
that ordains alcohol,
the sale and the possession,
132
00:06:03,311 --> 00:06:04,779
illegal in this town.
133
00:06:05,113 --> 00:06:07,415
Oh, an official ordinance.
Wanda, would you like that?
134
00:06:07,549 --> 00:06:10,385
I would love that. Now we have something
to wipe our asses with.
135
00:06:10,518 --> 00:06:13,054
- Wanda, thank you.
WANDA: Finally.
136
00:06:13,188 --> 00:06:16,658
Honey, this looks legit.
"It is hereby declared unlawful to possess
137
00:06:17,025 --> 00:06:20,328
or sell intoxicating liquors
in the city of Great Bend."
138
00:06:20,495 --> 00:06:23,231
- I'm afraid that she better start running.
- Whoa, whoa.
139
00:06:23,398 --> 00:06:26,067
I swear to God, I will take off
your pretty blond head.
140
00:06:26,201 --> 00:06:29,137
- She'll do it.
- She's not gonna do it, Wanda.
141
00:06:29,304 --> 00:06:32,207
- Are you on her side now?
- No, I'm on everyone's side.
142
00:06:32,340 --> 00:06:34,476
You are literally on her side right now.
143
00:06:34,609 --> 00:06:37,312
- I'm just standing here.
- Come stand on my side.
144
00:06:37,479 --> 00:06:39,514
- Okay, I'm over here.
- Hoyle, you're supposed to--
145
00:06:39,647 --> 00:06:42,484
You said you saw the signature.
You're on my side.
146
00:06:42,617 --> 00:06:43,785
I'm on both sides!
147
00:06:44,119 --> 00:06:46,388
You can't be on both sides.
You have to pick one.
148
00:06:46,521 --> 00:06:48,523
HOYLE:
I'm the law's side, Honey.
149
00:06:48,690 --> 00:06:52,193
But here's the good news. I mean, yes,
liquor is going to be deemed unlawful,
150
00:06:52,327 --> 00:06:55,363
but you guys can continue
fornicating for money.
151
00:06:55,530 --> 00:06:57,465
Oh, no, I know I can keep whoring.
152
00:06:57,599 --> 00:07:00,301
- But I'm not gonna be whoring with you.
- Oh.
153
00:07:00,468 --> 00:07:03,338
- But I--
- Get the hell off my property!
154
00:07:03,505 --> 00:07:06,274
This saloon is officially closed!
155
00:07:06,408 --> 00:07:07,776
[CROWD CHEERING]
156
00:07:08,109 --> 00:07:10,745
- Wanda, no, no.
- I'm gonna break you!
157
00:07:18,333 --> 00:07:21,636
HOYLE: I just wanna start
by thanking Mr. Tidwell.
158
00:07:21,803 --> 00:07:24,773
Clay, thank you so much
159
00:07:24,906 --> 00:07:29,077
for the use of the school room.
160
00:07:29,210 --> 00:07:33,848
As long as you scrub it down
when we're done. I'm serious.
161
00:07:33,982 --> 00:07:39,621
Anyhoo, the purpose of this meeting
is for us to share feelings.
162
00:07:39,788 --> 00:07:41,790
- And booze, right?
HOYLE: No.
163
00:07:41,923 --> 00:07:43,324
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
164
00:07:43,692 --> 00:07:48,096
No, this is not--
This is a whiskey support group
165
00:07:48,229 --> 00:07:49,698
for not drinking whiskey.
166
00:07:49,998 --> 00:07:53,068
- No!
- We understand if you wanna leave.
167
00:07:53,234 --> 00:07:55,970
I was under the impression
this was a men's-only meeting.
168
00:07:56,137 --> 00:07:57,872
- No, no.
WANDA: Leave.
169
00:07:58,039 --> 00:08:00,075
- Leave.
- Uh...
170
00:08:00,208 --> 00:08:02,177
I'm more of a man than you are, lady.
171
00:08:02,310 --> 00:08:03,978
- But--
- Uh--
172
00:08:04,112 --> 00:08:06,114
[WANDA GRUNTING]
173
00:08:06,948 --> 00:08:09,651
- I don't know.
- She's referring to his homosexuality.
174
00:08:09,784 --> 00:08:10,785
[VERNON GASPS]
175
00:08:10,919 --> 00:08:13,188
- Now that's out. All right.
- Okay. Well, we'll get--
176
00:08:13,321 --> 00:08:14,789
My apologies. I didn't realize--
177
00:08:14,923 --> 00:08:16,624
CLAY: Can't put it back in.
HOYLE: Okay.
178
00:08:16,758 --> 00:08:19,127
- Oh. Do we have to talk like that?
HOYLE: A lot of us knew.
179
00:08:19,260 --> 00:08:23,898
It must be extremely lonely and difficult
to be the only homosexual man in the t--
180
00:08:24,032 --> 00:08:25,366
[VERNON GASPS]
181
00:08:25,767 --> 00:08:28,369
Mr. Shank, you can't do that
every time I say the word "homosexual."
182
00:08:28,703 --> 00:08:29,938
[VERNON GASPS]
183
00:08:30,071 --> 00:08:32,907
- You-- Are you serious?
- It's-- I'm sorry, I'm trying not to do it
184
00:08:33,041 --> 00:08:35,110
it's just a very involuntary reaction.
185
00:08:35,243 --> 00:08:37,312
How do you not feel it coming?
Every time he points at me--
186
00:08:37,645 --> 00:08:40,248
Everything you say
has a very sexual tone.
187
00:08:40,381 --> 00:08:42,751
Mr. Tidwell, would you please
come up here
188
00:08:42,884 --> 00:08:45,987
and tell everybody
about your problems with alcohol?
189
00:08:46,154 --> 00:08:48,256
- I'll get up and say something.
- Okay. Thank you.
190
00:08:49,791 --> 00:08:53,094
Mr. Tidwell, everyone.
Let's support. Let's support.
191
00:08:53,261 --> 00:08:54,929
I started drinking--
192
00:08:55,063 --> 00:08:58,967
I had a best friend when I was 7.
His name was Sam.
193
00:08:59,667 --> 00:09:01,136
- I know where this is going.
WANDA: Me too, yeah.
194
00:09:01,302 --> 00:09:03,838
Well, what can I say?
195
00:09:04,839 --> 00:09:07,242
I can't really do my job without whiskey.
196
00:09:07,609 --> 00:09:10,812
You know what I mean?
How am I supposed to be loose enough?
197
00:09:10,979 --> 00:09:14,249
- I do some nasty ****, you guys.
HOYLE: Whoa...
198
00:09:14,616 --> 00:09:16,618
My mother died when I was 6.
199
00:09:16,785 --> 00:09:18,620
It had actually been
200
00:09:19,020 --> 00:09:20,855
a facial spider bite,
201
00:09:20,989 --> 00:09:25,093
which unfortunately had left her
with a fairly menacing expression.
202
00:09:26,194 --> 00:09:28,329
You know, I wanna find
203
00:09:29,230 --> 00:09:32,333
someone who, uh...
204
00:09:33,301 --> 00:09:35,403
Who completes me, who...
205
00:09:38,873 --> 00:09:42,977
As we added alcohol into our friendship,
206
00:09:43,111 --> 00:09:44,679
our tongues became looser.
207
00:09:44,846 --> 00:09:47,382
- Yeah, they did.
- Oh, God, Clay.
208
00:09:47,715 --> 00:09:51,319
Bust out the whiskey, little lady.
209
00:09:51,653 --> 00:09:53,321
- I'm getting mad!
HOYLE: Okay, okay.
210
00:09:53,688 --> 00:09:55,256
- Okay, thank you, Wanda.
- Rotate.
211
00:09:55,390 --> 00:09:57,692
HOYLE: Thank you, Wanda.
WANDA: I feel like I'm about to--
212
00:09:57,859 --> 00:09:59,360
- I'm about to take you down!
HOYLE: Okay, okay.
213
00:09:59,727 --> 00:10:01,362
WANDA: No!
- Everybody shut up!
214
00:10:01,729 --> 00:10:03,031
Shut up, all of you.
215
00:10:03,198 --> 00:10:05,099
This is what we're doing:
216
00:10:05,266 --> 00:10:08,336
Stop drinking. Share your feelings.
217
00:10:09,003 --> 00:10:11,673
Okay, Wanda, I swear to God.
218
00:10:17,178 --> 00:10:18,213
It is Ephraim's Extract.
219
00:10:18,346 --> 00:10:21,316
It rejuvenates, invigorates
and expectorates.
220
00:10:21,683 --> 00:10:22,917
What are your symptoms?
221
00:10:23,051 --> 00:10:25,286
Well, I been lonely.
222
00:10:25,620 --> 00:10:29,123
Sure. This will take those feelings
and turn them into joy.
223
00:10:29,290 --> 00:10:31,159
I'm angry. Everything makes me angry.
224
00:10:31,326 --> 00:10:33,761
This will make you happy
that you're so angry.
225
00:10:33,928 --> 00:10:35,330
We'll take it. How much?
226
00:10:35,663 --> 00:10:37,031
- A dollar for the bottle.
- One dollar.
227
00:10:37,198 --> 00:10:39,701
- If we could do it for half that--
- I'll pay as much as you want.
228
00:10:39,834 --> 00:10:42,370
- I'm not dickering with you, Eli.
- Same time.
229
00:10:44,138 --> 00:10:45,373
Let's go, buddy.
230
00:10:45,707 --> 00:10:47,909
HONEY: Oh, you look very sick.
EPHRAIM: You need some, sir.
231
00:10:48,042 --> 00:10:49,744
- You will be helped.
HONEY: You really need this.
232
00:10:49,878 --> 00:10:51,813
EPHRAIM:
Absolutely. It'll make you whole, sir.
233
00:10:51,980 --> 00:10:54,616
Excuse me. What that hell
is going on here?
234
00:10:54,749 --> 00:10:56,851
What do you mean, what's going on?
What are you doing here?
235
00:10:56,985 --> 00:10:59,320
This saloon is supposed
to be closed, Honey.
236
00:10:59,687 --> 00:11:01,890
Well, this saloon
was closed thanks to you,
237
00:11:02,023 --> 00:11:05,793
but now what you see in front of you
is an apothecary.
238
00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:09,964
No, I can't sell alcohol, but yes,
I can sell medicine.
239
00:11:10,131 --> 00:11:11,833
And I am here with a doctor.
240
00:11:11,966 --> 00:11:13,368
- Hello, Ephraim younger.
- I know.
241
00:11:13,701 --> 00:11:15,336
- My brother tried to kill you.
- Yes, I know.
242
00:11:15,670 --> 00:11:17,939
- Sorry about that.
- You enjoy your stay up at Leavenworth?
243
00:11:18,072 --> 00:11:21,276
Well, I took it as a time
to improve upon myself.
244
00:11:21,609 --> 00:11:23,845
And I studied with a master shaman
245
00:11:24,012 --> 00:11:25,914
who was also incarcerated.
246
00:11:26,614 --> 00:11:27,849
So all you gentlemen here,
247
00:11:27,982 --> 00:11:29,717
you're suffering
from some health problem?
248
00:11:29,851 --> 00:11:31,352
- That's why they're here?
EPHRAIM: Oh, yeah.
249
00:11:31,686 --> 00:11:34,255
These are very, very sick men.
Look at them.
250
00:11:34,389 --> 00:11:36,391
EPHRAIM: That man there is afraid
of certain colors.
251
00:11:37,025 --> 00:11:39,160
This will just put a stop to that.
252
00:11:39,794 --> 00:11:42,897
- See that man? He's got curiosity.
HOYLE: Uh-huh.
253
00:11:43,064 --> 00:11:45,300
- You gotta get rid of that. Gotta extract it.
- Absolutely.
254
00:11:45,667 --> 00:11:47,402
That man's got the jitters.
255
00:11:47,769 --> 00:11:49,671
- What does it do for aches and pains?
- My goodness.
256
00:11:49,837 --> 00:11:51,239
- A lot.
- Hey, aches and pains,
257
00:11:51,372 --> 00:11:53,308
- where are you?
- Goodbye. Where'd you go?
258
00:11:53,641 --> 00:11:55,944
I'll tell you, they're right here.
They're in my shoulder and gut
259
00:11:56,077 --> 00:11:57,879
because of the bullets
your brother put in me.
260
00:11:58,012 --> 00:12:00,648
- Let's just send them on their way.
- Let him cure you.
261
00:12:00,782 --> 00:12:04,252
Look at this. A train is leaving.
It is looking for a tunnel.
262
00:12:04,385 --> 00:12:06,187
It wants just to go right into a tunnel.
263
00:12:06,788 --> 00:12:10,625
- How many men have licked this spoon?
- I would say 17 or so.
264
00:12:10,758 --> 00:12:14,329
- But each one gets cured. There we are.
- All right.
265
00:12:15,730 --> 00:12:17,732
- Ooh.
- Yep.
266
00:12:18,132 --> 00:12:21,102
It's cold and then it's hot
and then it's cold.
267
00:12:21,269 --> 00:12:23,338
VERNON:
Ephraim's Extract.
268
00:12:24,739 --> 00:12:25,740
WANDA:
I don't-- I don't even--
269
00:12:26,674 --> 00:12:29,844
It's almost like a health drink.
270
00:12:29,978 --> 00:12:33,815
- Oh. That's different. Ugh.
- It's a little rough at first, but--
271
00:12:34,782 --> 00:12:36,250
Oh, yeah.
272
00:12:39,153 --> 00:12:42,256
- Sorry.
- You wanna pace yourself a little bit.
273
00:12:42,390 --> 00:12:44,292
- No, you don't.
- No, you don't.
274
00:12:44,659 --> 00:12:46,227
- Because they weren't--
- They were hard.
275
00:12:47,261 --> 00:12:48,262
Ugh.
276
00:12:48,396 --> 00:12:50,098
HONEY: Gets easier, right?
- Second one's smooth.
277
00:12:50,231 --> 00:12:52,367
One of my molars just fell out.
I swallowed it.
278
00:12:52,734 --> 00:12:56,304
- Yep, that molar was holding you back.
- Back. Mm-hm.
279
00:12:56,637 --> 00:12:57,705
Oh, good.
280
00:13:00,208 --> 00:13:03,911
I'm gonna do something to you
that I don't do with a lot of men.
281
00:13:05,113 --> 00:13:07,048
But I wanna do it with you.
282
00:13:07,181 --> 00:13:10,852
- Well, what is it? I don't know--
- You'll see.
283
00:13:10,985 --> 00:13:12,987
[BOTH GRUNTING AND MOANING]
284
00:13:17,358 --> 00:13:21,262
You get off my case about this,
maybe I'll think about giving you a freebie.
285
00:13:22,163 --> 00:13:24,265
Hey, this is good medicine.
286
00:13:24,632 --> 00:13:27,035
- I'm glad you're here, doctor.
- Good to be back.
287
00:13:27,168 --> 00:13:28,202
- Sir.
- Thank you, doctor.
288
00:13:28,336 --> 00:13:32,907
I feel much better. I'm just gonna
go upstairs and get myself, uh--
289
00:13:33,041 --> 00:13:35,143
I wanna wear the sundress.
290
00:13:35,309 --> 00:13:38,379
I think I love you.
Will you marry me and make me
291
00:13:38,713 --> 00:13:40,782
- the happiest man in the world?
- Yes.
292
00:13:41,215 --> 00:13:43,785
- Yes, I'm gonna marry you.
- Then I'm going again.
293
00:13:43,951 --> 00:13:46,154
WANDA:
Oh, yeah!
294
00:13:54,328 --> 00:13:57,098
HONEY: Are your lips still numb?
HOYLE: Oh, my gosh.
295
00:13:57,231 --> 00:14:00,802
Whew. How many times
can you do the alphabet, you know?
296
00:14:00,935 --> 00:14:04,939
- That was impressive.
- Well, the third time I was doing Hebrew.
297
00:14:05,106 --> 00:14:08,309
- When I did Latin in the middle--
- Oh, come on.
298
00:14:08,643 --> 00:14:11,212
Livinia, hi.
299
00:14:11,979 --> 00:14:15,750
What is going on in here?
This place is supposed to be closed.
300
00:14:15,917 --> 00:14:18,719
Welcome to my grand opening
of my apothecary.
301
00:14:18,853 --> 00:14:20,955
Can I get you
a tablespoon of medicine?
302
00:14:21,756 --> 00:14:23,724
- Medicine?
- Ephraim's Extract.
303
00:14:23,858 --> 00:14:26,627
- You are welcome.
- There's alcohol in it?
304
00:14:26,794 --> 00:14:30,098
There might be a small amount of alcohol,
because you just need that to cut
305
00:14:30,231 --> 00:14:32,967
the spices and the medicines.
306
00:14:33,101 --> 00:14:35,336
It's a way to mix it together.
It's like a glue.
307
00:14:35,670 --> 00:14:38,039
It keeps the solution diluted.
308
00:14:38,172 --> 00:14:39,874
You are violating an ordinance.
309
00:14:40,007 --> 00:14:42,210
HONEY:
No, I am not violating any ordinance.
310
00:14:42,376 --> 00:14:45,213
- Yeah, I have to agree with her, Livinia.
- Thank you.
311
00:14:45,379 --> 00:14:48,916
I don't know if you have any problems,
but if you do at all, it just--
312
00:14:49,050 --> 00:14:51,385
It soothes and coats.
313
00:14:51,752 --> 00:14:53,855
Muscles that would just tighten
for a few minutes
314
00:14:53,988 --> 00:14:57,024
now can stay tight for hours.
315
00:14:57,158 --> 00:15:00,795
- It's very invigorating.
- Like 97 minutes.
316
00:15:00,928 --> 00:15:04,165
Like I was 13 again,
you know what I mean?
317
00:15:04,298 --> 00:15:07,835
You could do chin-ups.
It was unbelievable.
318
00:15:07,969 --> 00:15:09,904
You little whore.
319
00:15:10,071 --> 00:15:12,240
- Excuse me?
- You've been using your body
320
00:15:12,406 --> 00:15:14,742
and your whorish ways
to bend the arm of the law.
321
00:15:14,876 --> 00:15:18,846
Excuse me, I am not bending
the arm of the law with anything.
322
00:15:18,980 --> 00:15:22,083
I have followed all the rules
and there is nothing you can do about it.
323
00:15:22,250 --> 00:15:24,385
You are using your crinkum-crankum
324
00:15:24,719 --> 00:15:27,288
to get the law on your side!
There's no alcohol--!
325
00:15:27,622 --> 00:15:28,890
[SPITS]
326
00:15:29,290 --> 00:15:31,826
Whoa, ladies, ladies, ladies!
327
00:15:31,959 --> 00:15:33,394
[SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
328
00:15:36,797 --> 00:15:38,266
Stop it. Oh! Aah!
329
00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:41,202
[PANTING]
330
00:15:48,109 --> 00:15:50,111
[WANDA GROANING]
331
00:15:53,614 --> 00:15:54,815
WANDA:
What the hell?
332
00:15:54,949 --> 00:15:56,984
VERNON: Oh.
- Oh, God.
333
00:16:00,721 --> 00:16:02,089
What the--?
334
00:16:02,990 --> 00:16:04,025
Wanda?
335
00:16:04,158 --> 00:16:05,693
[WANDA GROANS]
336
00:16:06,694 --> 00:16:11,966
Oh, my-- I feel worse
than I did when I came here.
337
00:16:14,035 --> 00:16:15,903
- What happened?
- I don't know.
338
00:16:16,370 --> 00:16:19,106
There's a little-- Little bit of a party.
339
00:16:19,240 --> 00:16:22,143
Yeah. Um...
340
00:16:23,277 --> 00:16:27,381
This is awkward.
341
00:16:29,116 --> 00:16:30,651
Here we go.
342
00:16:32,186 --> 00:16:33,187
[COUGHING]
343
00:16:33,321 --> 00:16:35,690
Okay. That's the healing.
That is the healing there.
344
00:16:35,823 --> 00:16:37,291
Livinia. Livinia.
345
00:16:37,625 --> 00:16:39,160
Are you okay?
346
00:16:40,194 --> 00:16:41,295
[WHEEZES]
347
00:16:41,629 --> 00:16:43,898
- Okay. She's all right. She's all right.
- It's all better now.
348
00:16:44,031 --> 00:16:45,333
What happened?
349
00:16:45,700 --> 00:16:49,770
You were very upset
and you caught your toe on a nail
350
00:16:49,904 --> 00:16:53,007
and fell down...
351
00:16:53,140 --> 00:16:54,942
Sheriff, that one punched her
in the mouth.
352
00:16:55,109 --> 00:16:57,245
Yeah. She hit you.
353
00:17:00,281 --> 00:17:02,250
I remember now.
354
00:17:02,617 --> 00:17:03,818
You lost.
355
00:17:15,763 --> 00:17:17,131
You better watch out.
356
00:17:17,265 --> 00:17:19,267
Here. Let me help you up.
357
00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:21,168
Let go of me.
358
00:17:23,404 --> 00:17:25,306
I'm gonna get you.
359
00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:27,108
Honey Shaw.
360
00:17:27,275 --> 00:17:29,043
I'm gonna get you.
361
00:17:29,944 --> 00:17:31,646
That's going to be a dollar for the--
362
00:17:31,779 --> 00:17:33,881
- I got it.
- Okay.
363
00:17:34,015 --> 00:17:35,216
It's on my tab.
364
00:17:35,383 --> 00:17:37,318
Oh, this stuff is horrible.
365
00:17:37,652 --> 00:17:38,953
- This--
- Oh, God.
366
00:17:39,120 --> 00:17:41,789
- You're gonna fall.
- This needs to stay here.
367
00:17:41,922 --> 00:17:44,325
This can never happen again.
368
00:17:44,692 --> 00:17:49,030
I-- It's just as bad for me as it is for you.
369
00:17:49,196 --> 00:17:50,898
It's a little less bad for you.
370
00:17:51,032 --> 00:17:53,267
- No, it's the same.
- It's a little bit, uh...
371
00:17:53,401 --> 00:17:55,136
- It's the same.
- All right.
372
00:17:55,303 --> 00:17:57,004
- That is the devil.
- Awful.
373
00:17:57,138 --> 00:17:58,172
- Awful.
- The devil.
374
00:17:58,306 --> 00:18:00,107
I don't know what I was thinking.
375
00:18:00,241 --> 00:18:02,310
I gotta find some whiskey.
376
00:18:02,677 --> 00:18:05,613
- I can't do that ever again.
- I can't even look at a bottle.
377
00:18:05,780 --> 00:18:08,349
- Okay, so I'm gonna
- Well.
378
00:18:08,683 --> 00:18:11,185
gracefully make an exit.
379
00:18:11,319 --> 00:18:14,121
I'm gonna just tidy up a little bit.
380
00:18:14,255 --> 00:18:16,891
Was there a body here before?
381
00:18:29,337 --> 00:18:31,105
Morning, Jesse.
382
00:18:38,913 --> 00:18:40,247
Honey Shaw.
383
00:18:42,183 --> 00:18:43,217
What?
384
00:18:43,351 --> 00:18:45,886
I'm gonna get you.
I told you I was gonna get you.
385
00:18:46,020 --> 00:18:48,222
Here I am, getting you.
386
00:18:48,389 --> 00:18:50,124
Oh, go home, you mess of a woman.
387
00:18:50,257 --> 00:18:54,061
You are, and whores like you.
388
00:18:57,264 --> 00:18:58,699
[BOTTLE SMASHES]
389
00:19:26,060 --> 00:19:27,228
[GRUNTS]
390
00:19:35,542 --> 00:19:37,544
[PIANO PLAYING]
391
00:19:45,252 --> 00:19:48,688
I just wanna thank you for getting
my saloon back in business.
392
00:19:49,322 --> 00:19:51,792
Oh, Honey, I'm just glad you're all right.
393
00:19:51,925 --> 00:19:54,728
I was just worried.
I mean, that crazy woman.
394
00:19:54,895 --> 00:19:56,730
Oh, you don't have to worry about me.
395
00:19:56,897 --> 00:19:58,665
What--? What--? What--?
396
00:19:58,832 --> 00:19:59,866
What is this?
397
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:02,469
All the bottles that it says
"Ephraim's" on them are gone
398
00:20:02,602 --> 00:20:04,271
and now there's just Brown's.
399
00:20:04,404 --> 00:20:06,773
That's right, Ephraim. They're all gone.
400
00:20:06,907 --> 00:20:09,443
- Your extract has been outlawed.
- Yep.
401
00:20:09,576 --> 00:20:12,746
I took the liberty of having an analysis
402
00:20:12,879 --> 00:20:16,516
of your extract
and you'll never guess what I found.
403
00:20:16,650 --> 00:20:18,018
- Happiness?
- No.
404
00:20:18,385 --> 00:20:19,786
Fifty percent alcohol?
405
00:20:19,920 --> 00:20:22,622
- Yes.
- Twenty percent opium?
406
00:20:22,789 --> 00:20:25,992
- I got that from a Chinese man.
- Twenty percent cocoa leaf?
407
00:20:26,326 --> 00:20:27,360
It's for sweetness.
408
00:20:27,527 --> 00:20:29,629
And 10 percent of some sort
of animal by-product
409
00:20:29,763 --> 00:20:32,332
- that I don't even-- I couldn't identify.
- Yeah, I don't like that.
410
00:20:32,466 --> 00:20:33,500
[WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]
411
00:20:33,633 --> 00:20:35,602
- Jesus. Are you serious?
- Yes.
412
00:20:35,769 --> 00:20:37,337
I told you, it had a little love in it.
413
00:20:37,504 --> 00:20:39,606
Get the hell out of here.
414
00:20:39,773 --> 00:20:41,775
You know what?
I'm gonna tell my brother.
415
00:20:41,908 --> 00:20:43,510
You guys just stirred up a whirlwind.
416
00:20:43,677 --> 00:20:46,279
- "I'm gonna tell my brother."
- Your brother loves me.
417
00:20:47,481 --> 00:20:48,815
[WHISPERING]
Honey, Honey, Honey.
418
00:20:48,949 --> 00:20:52,018
- What? What's wrong?
- Over my shoulder. What do you see?
419
00:20:52,352 --> 00:20:53,920
- It's Livinia.
- I know.
420
00:20:54,254 --> 00:20:55,856
She works here now.
421
00:20:56,022 --> 00:20:57,958
Does she know that you work here?
422
00:20:58,291 --> 00:21:00,927
I hired her. We had a long talk
423
00:21:01,261 --> 00:21:05,432
and Livinia finally realized
that it's time she stops marrying men
424
00:21:05,599 --> 00:21:09,302
to take care of herself and she just
get a job and do it herself.
425
00:21:09,436 --> 00:21:10,704
[IN NORMAL VOICE]
Okay, that's good advice.
426
00:21:10,837 --> 00:21:14,441
Yeah. You know, she showed me
a bunch of tricks with her gun
427
00:21:14,574 --> 00:21:17,611
that, I don't know, kind of impressed me.
I thought she'd be good behind the bar.
428
00:21:17,911 --> 00:21:21,982
Hm. You know best.
She's crazy as a loon.
429
00:21:22,315 --> 00:21:24,651
- Well, aren't we all?
- Hi, Hoyle.
430
00:21:24,818 --> 00:21:27,254
Hey, Livinia. Hi.
431
00:21:27,387 --> 00:21:30,891
Ahem. You sure were out of your mind
there on the street.
432
00:21:31,258 --> 00:21:34,394
Well, you say out of your mind,
I say growing pains.
433
00:21:34,528 --> 00:21:35,762
Mm-hm, ha.
434
00:21:35,929 --> 00:21:38,899
- Can I make you a drink?
- Oh, yeah, absolutely.
435
00:21:39,900 --> 00:21:42,702
Okay, so lean back.
You might wanna take your hat off.
436
00:21:42,869 --> 00:21:44,671
- Okay.
- Okay.
437
00:21:44,804 --> 00:21:45,839
All right.
438
00:21:45,972 --> 00:21:47,841
So I'm gonna mix the drink
in your mouth.
439
00:21:48,008 --> 00:21:50,377
- What? Okay. Yeah.
- You ready for that?
440
00:22:01,655 --> 00:22:02,889
LIVINIA:
Whoo!
441
00:22:03,023 --> 00:22:05,792
Yeah! Shake it up.
442
00:22:05,926 --> 00:22:07,761
[CHEERING]
443
00:22:09,829 --> 00:22:12,299
Do me. Do me. Do me.
444
00:22:12,766 --> 00:22:14,901
- Do me. Do me.
- That was all right!
445
00:22:15,268 --> 00:22:17,571
I love alcohol!
446
00:22:17,704 --> 00:22:18,738
Yeah!
34525
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