All language subtitles for Topper Returns (1941).en

Hey, you all right down there?

Stay where you are.

Don't move.

Keep calm.

Don't get excited.

I'll get you out of
there right away.

Keep calm.

Now wait a minute.

Come on I'll help.

There you are.

What did we hit?

Nothing.

We had a blowout.

I don't understand it either,

that was a brand
new tire this morning.

What's the matter,
you sure you're all right?

I'm a little shaky I guess.

Come we can sit down over here.

What am I? An orphan?

Come on.

Any man that drives
as fast as you oughta be

run out of this country.

You tell me all
about it sometime.

Thanks for the lift buddy.

Say, I'm awfully
sorry about all this.

You're sorry? How about us?

We can't stay here all night.

Well, you won't have to.

I said I'd get you to
Carrington Hall and I will.

How?

Gonna fly us there on a broom?

I'll get help.

We passed a garage
about two miles back.

Now you take it easy and
don't worry about a thing.

I'll be back in a
flash with a tow car.

Why it's as simple
as falling off a log.

Huh! Comfortable?

Don't go 'way now.

Must have been
his wife with him.

Uh oh! Danger ahead.

Two of 'em!

Oh thanks!

It was awfully sweet
of you to stop for us.

But I, I...

Annie you get in the backseat.

Can you manage the bags?

Yes, I think so.

Here are mine, there.

Now, mind if I sit on your lap?

Oh well really my
dear young lady.

We're awfully sorry
to inconvenience you,

but we had a blowout.

Ahh this is comfortable.

Well, what are we waiting for?

Oh very well Eddie, drive on.

Yes sir.

Would you mind telling me
where you ladies are taking me?

To the Carrington Estate.

Uh oh!

Is there anything wrong
with the Carrington place?

Yes ma'am, if there
wasn't anybody living there,

it'd be a haunted house.

My my Cosmo's late.

He's usually home by now.

Oo, my it's chilly, isn't it?

Emily remind me to
send this coat back.

Doesn't keep me warm at all.

Mrs. Topper, you
haven't got it on.

Oh how silly of me.

My strange how it's
usually cold in the winter

and warm in summer, isn't it?

Oh there's Cosmo now!

Oh look, someone's waving to us.

It's a lady.

It's worse than that
boss, it's Mrs. Topper.

Emily, look, he's got
a carload of women.

And one of them, one of
them's sitting on his lap!

Emily!

Well, here it is.

Are you sure this is
the Carrington place?

Yeah, that's what they call it.

Cheerful little eyeful isn't it?

Thanks for the lift Mr. Topper.

Don't mention it.

Hurry up with those bags Eddie

Yes sir, I ain't wasting
no time around here.

I'd like to invite you in, but,

Oh, no thanks, very much,
we've got to be getting home.

We sure do!

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Bye!

Good evening.

Why don't you knock
before you come out?

I'm the butler, Miss Carrington.

Oh, I'm not Miss Carrington.

There she is.

How do you do?

Won't you please step in?

Miss Carrington?

Yes.

I'm Lillian, the house keeper.

Well, how do you do?

This is my friend Miss Richards.

Howdy.

Your father's waiting Miss.

Thank you.

Would you mind waiting here?

This way please.

One moment please.

Miss Carrington?

This is Dr. Jeris,
your father's physician.

How do you do Dr. Jeris?

I'd like a few words
with you Miss Carrington,

before you see your father.

Of course.

I'll be as brief as possible.

Your father's far from being
a well man Miss Carrington.

Yes, I know.

Seeing you for the first
time may be something

of a shock to him.

I think I understand doctor.

He's been looking
forward to your arrival

with great eagerness.

I hope there'll never
be any occasion for you

to be separated from him again.

Come with me please.

Mr. Carrington, Mr. Carrington?

Mm?

This is your daughter.

Oh!

Ann.

I, I don't know quite
what to do or say.

Nor do I.

Except to tell you,
Ann, you're beautiful.

You're the image of your
mother when she was young.

Perhaps you better sit down?

Yes.

I know you must
think it very strange,

seeing your own
father for the first time

on the eve of
your 21st birthday.

Well, naturally I wondered
why you never sent for me.

Your mother loved
the Far East, Ann.

Her last wish was
that you be brought up

in the land she loved so well.

I wanted to send
for you many times,

but I had to respect
your mother's wishes.

And of course my own
health wouldn't permit

me to visit you.

I understand father.

I hope you had a pleasant trip.

Yes we, we had a wonderful trip.

We?

Oh, I brought a
friend along with me.

An American girl
named Gail Richards.

Her father's the head of an
exporting company in Shanghai.

Richards you say?

Mmhmm.

Oh, I, I hope you don't
mind my bringing her?

Of course not.

Besides the house
belongs to you now.

No father, to us.

No my dear, by the
terms of your mother's will.

Everything belongs
to you after tomorrow.

What else do you do around
here beside wind clocks?

Been here long?

- 20 years.
- 20 years!

Looks like it might turn
out to be a steady job, huh?

Your mother wanted
you to have these Ann.

They're exactly as she
wore them 20 years ago.

Oh Dad!

They're, they're beautiful!

They'll look every bit
as beautiful upon you

as they did upon your mother.

Dad, I, I never did know
just how mother died.

Some sort of an
accident, wasn't it?

Yes dear.

A mine cave in.

I met your mother in Singapore.

After you were born we
decided to move to Sumatra

where I had an interest
in a tungsten mine.

My partner was a man
named Walter Harberg.

One day he was showing
your mother through the mine

when suddenly there
was an earthquake.

The tunnel collapsed.

You've talked
enough Mr. Carrington.

I'm sorry to interrupt, but
we mustn't tire your father.

Oh, of course not.

I hope you'll like
your room dear.

Oh I'm sure I will.

Lillian will show
you where it is.

I'm supposed to
conserve my strength.

It's quite all right, father.

Good night darling.

I'll see you in the morning.

Good night.

Good night Dr. Jeris.

Good night Miss Carrington.

Where's Miss Richards?

Here I am, pal!

Ann! Ann look out!

Look out!

Ann!

Ann!

Ann!

Ann are you hurt?

Oh, no I'm all right.

Ann, what on earth happened?

Well I don't know.

That was rather a close call.

Close?

Six more inches and we'd
all be singing Annie doesn't

live here anymore.

- How could something happen?
- Please Mr. Carrington.

You mustn't excite yourself.

I think you'd better
show the young ladies

to their rooms.

Yeah, pick us a couple
without chandeliers, would you?

This way please.

Thank you old boy.

Look!

The Chinese room will
be yours Miss Richards.

Oh, you're a doll.

Well this is just dandy.

I travel 7000 miles to
get away from Chinamen

and here I am with
everything but a bowl of rice.

What's that sound?

It's the waves, angry waves.

Day after day,
night after night.

They beat with savage fury
against the black rocks below.

For 20 years they've
been calling, calling, calling

to someone who never answers.

Just like the pot
of gold program.

Will that be all Miss?

No, I'm starved.

You forgot we didn't
have any dinner.

Rama will bring you a tray.

Oh any little thing'll do,
lobster salad and beer,

but nothing heavy.

Anything for you
Miss Carrington?

No thank you Rama.

I'm going to bed Gail.

I'm all in.

I'm kinda baggy myself.

- Good night Miss Richards.
- Good night.

I hope you rest in peace.

Thank you.

Isn't that what they
right on tombstones?

Oh don't be silly.

Go on to bed.

Good night darling.

Your father had this room
done especially for you.

It's lovely.

Very sorry Miss,
but we have no beer.

I brought you some wine.

Wine?

Why that's champagne!

Yes Miss.

Oh, put it down buddy!

Will there be
anything else Miss?

No, that's all thank you.

Champagne!

Why hide it?

Ann?

Yes?

Is that you?

Yes, it's me.

Well open up and let me in.

Gee, where's the glass
slipper that goes with it?

It is nice, isn't it?

Oh, nice?

It's heaven compared to that
Chinese torture chamber I'm in.

Gee what a layout!

Oh, this is for me.

I've always wanted to sleep in
one of these covered wagons.

It's almost too
nice to sleep in.

Say what do you have to
do to get a bed like this?

Rub a magic lamp or something?

You really like this
room, don't you?

Ah, this is right up my alley.

Oh, to catch measles and
have to stay in a bed like this.

Hey, where ya going?

I'm going to bed.

For tonight darling,
this room is yours.

Oh no you don't.

I wouldn't dream of letting
you do anything like that.

But it's a deal!

Anything to keep out of China.

Good night Cinderella.

Good night pal.

And I do mean pal.

Say, lock your door in
case lady Frankenstein

walks in her sleep.

Come in.

Did you wish anything doctor?

Are the young
ladies comfortable?

Quite.

That will be all then.

I don't mind if I do.

Ahh, China was never like this.

That kind of
behavior is all right

for a school boy, but,

Clara I've told repeatedly
and incessantly,

when I could get a
word in edgewise,

that the whole thing
was no fault of mine.

I think it's ridiculous
for a man of your age

to pursue young girls.

What will the neighbors think?

I didn't pursue them Clara,
they forced themselves on me.

Don't be absurd.

Imagine girls, pretty
girls, forcing themselves

on a paunchy middle aged man.

Why I don't think I'm paunchy.

Don't try to change the subject.

At least you might have
waved to me when you went by!

I've explained that darling.

I couldn't, that girl
was sitting on my lap.

I know she was!

I warn you Cosmo, if ever
you do a think like this again,

I'm going back to Mamma.

Clara, of course I
don't intend to do

a thing like that again.

Besides, I couldn't very
well sit on her lap, could I?

Cosmo,

this is hardly
the time for jokes.

That's peculiar.

I don't think it's so peculiar.

After all we've been
married for 20 years.

And I have a perfect
right to be treated like

a wife who, who has
been married for 20 years.

That's odd.

It's not odd at all!

Cosmo, do you realize
what you're saying?

Hm? I beg your
pardon dear, what?

Well if that's all the attention
you're going to give me

I may as well go to bed.

Good night.

Well, I might be
a little over weight,

but I'm certainly not paunchy.

In fact, I'm in pretty good
shape for the shape I'm in.

After all, I'm a banker,
not a glamor-boy.

Get your cold feet off my back!

You don't need all
the covers do you?

Here I am, Toppy.

Remember me?

The girl that sat on your lap?

Oh this is terrible.

What's terrible?

You're a ghost, you're dead.

No kiddin'!

You've got to get out of here.

I've had enough trouble
with your kind of people.

Well, it's strange
I should be dead.

I was young and
healthy and I felt swell

when I went to bed.

So why did I die?

I don't know, but
you can't stay here.

You've got to go back
to the Carrington house.

Cosmo!

- There, you see?
- Cosmo!

Quick, do something, vanish.

Well all right Toppy, here I go.

Oh it's you dear.

Cosmo who on earth
were you talking to?

Nobody dear.

Nobody, I was just talking
in my sleep you know.

Talking in your sleep?

But that's such a waste of time.

Besides nobody can hear you.

Oh, well I'm not
so sure about that.

Cosmo, I, I'm sorry
I was so mean.

I know you'd tell me
if there was anything

between you and that girl.

Let's forget all about her.

I'd like to dear, but
under the circumstances,

I'm afraid I can't.

Oh well of course, if that's
the way you feel about it.

I'll talk to you in the
morning, when you're sober.

Ow!

Why don't you look
where you're going?

Why don't you be where you are?

Now see what you've done.

That's nothing compared
to what I'm going to do

if you don't come with me.

Come with you? Where?

Back to the Carrington house.

I'm curious to know
what happened to me.

Go ahead!

Oh no, no, I couldn't
go alone, I'm afraid.

I don't like that
house, it's spooky.

I won't go.

All right, if that's the
way you feel about it.

Get out of my bed.

I won't, not unless
you come with me.

You get out of my bed
or I'll tell Mrs. Topper.

What'll you tell her?

I'll tell her you're in my bed.

I, oh no, I can't
very well tell her that.

Not very well.

But I can.

Oh but you wouldn't do that.

Mrs. Topper wouldn't understand.

Are you coming with me or not?

I can't.

All right then, I'll give you
three to make up your mind

and then I'll scream.

- Oh.
- One, two,

No, please, please don't.

All right you win.

What do you want me to do now?

Call your chauffeur
and tell him to take us

to the Carrington house.

Hello?

Yes boss.

But it ain't daylight yet.

Oh, you know that huh?

Yes sir, right away.

Well what are you gaping at?

Wish I knew.

Well, come on, get going.

Yes, sir.

Where to, Mr. Topper?

The Carrington place.

Pardon me boss, but
could I sorta inquire

what we're going to
the Carrington place for?

To look for a body.

Better look for one for me too,

'cause the one I'm
using now is numb.

Come on Eddie,
you want to help huh?

With what boss?

With the body.

The body...

Okay, I'll go with ya, but
kinda keep to one side,

'cause I gotta feeling some
running's gonna be done.

Toppy, that's the
bedroom I was in,

the one with the balcony.

How are we gonna get in?

Through the window.

Welp.

Pardon me boss, but could I
get confidential for a moment?

What is it?

Do I look as pale as I feel?

What's the matter with you?

I don't know but
there's somebody here

I can't account for.

Come on, come on.

Gimme your arm Toppy.

Uh oh, them ain't rabbit tracks!

Toppy, here's a window.

Let's see if we can get in.

We can't do that, we'll
wake up the household.

Don't argue.

Here, I'll give you a boost.

Put your foot up.

Ready?

Yes.

Uppsy-daisy.

You oughta go on a diet.

Try the window.

Now give me a hand.

Where are you?

Right here.

Is this the room?

Yes.

Where were you?

Well, let me see, oh yes!

I was sleeping at that bed.

And then it seems I got
up to close a window.

There's the window.

And then I started
back to bed and,

and that's all I remember.

Oh my gosh there I am!

Look! Right by the window!

This is positively horrible!

You've been stabbed.

Stabbed?

This is no time for champagne.

Oh but Toppy, it isn't every
day a girl gets murdered.

Look at me! Oh!

Oh, please, please, please!

This is serious, we've
got to call the police.

Yes, I wanna find
out who did this to me.

Where's the telephone?

- Downstairs.
- All right.

Hello, operator, operator?

Operator?

This thing's dead.

Mmm epidemic.

Where are you?

Here I am sweetie.

Can't seem to get anybody.

Maybe the wires have been cut.

I'll trace 'em.

Operator, operator.

Put down that phone.

Stay where you are.

Your phone's out of order.

Who are you?

Who? Me?

I'm Cosmo Topper.

I'm your next door neighbor.

Nice place you've got here.

Very nice.

I just dropped in
to use the phone.

At 12:30 in the morning?

Is it really as late as that?

Well, I must be going.

No, mustn't.

Who were you calling?

The police.

There's been a murder here.

Don't look at me like that,

I didn't kill the girl.

What on earth are
you people doing?

I found this man
prowling about the house.

But this gentleman says
there's been a murder.

What are you talking about?

If you don't believe me,
go and see for yourself.

It's in that big room
at the top of the stairs.

Why that's Ann's room!

Come on.

Ann!

Where is she?

Right over there by the window.

Where?

Where? There's no one here.

I saw it here a few minutes
ago with my own eyes.

Father, what's the matter?

Ann! You're safe!

You're all right.

Well of course I am.

Why?

Well Miss Carrington, this
gentleman has just been

telling us that you'd
been murdered.

Oh, Mr. Topper, whatever
gave you that idea?

No, it's not you,
it's the other girl.

I saw her a moment
ago, now really I did.

Where is Gail?

She wasn't downstairs was she?

Of course not, how
could she be downstairs

when she was murdered up here?

Now Mr. Topper
please control yourself.

I think I've found something
that might explain matters.

It's addressed to
Miss Carrington.

Darling, sorry to run out
on you so mysteriously,

will explain everything
when I get back.

Love, Gail.

Mr. Topper is evidently
suffering from hallucinations.

Mr. Topper, how
old a man are you?

46.

Just as I thought.

What do you mean
just as you thought?

Schizophrenia.

Schizophrenia nothing!

I came here in my car,

Your car?

Yes, it's right outside
now, waiting for me.

Huh! Cosmo!

Cosmo! Cosmo!

- Edward!
- Yes ma'am.

What in the world
is wrong with you?

It ain't me, it's them things.

Things?

Doors closing by themselves,
people talking to nothing

and getting answers,
I'm going back.

- Back where?
- To Mr. Benny.

Ain't nothing like this
ever happen there.

Oh stop all this fiddle faddle.

Where's Mr. Topper?

He's over at that
Carrington place.

Oh, that girl again!

You mean the one
that sat in his lap?

I'm afraid so.

Emily get on your clothes,
we're going right over there.

'Scuse me ma'am but
are you able to walk?

Well certainly not,
you're going to drive us.

My my, that's
what I was afraid of.

Normal?

As normal as you'd
expect for this type of man.

I've lost the body,
I've lost my car,

if I don't get out
of here very soon,

I'll lose my mind.

What he needs more
than anything else is rest.

When he feels better we'll
send him home in my car.

Ann dear, you better go to bed.

Good night Mr. Topper.

Good night.

Mr. Topper, Gail's
disappearance has me worried.

Well, look what it's done to me!

Where did you last see her?

She was sitting on
the table in the hall

and she hung my hat
on a Chinaman's foot.

Just take it easy
Mr. Topper, car will be along

in a few minutes.

Oh, you remember me?

Yes, of course, but
what are you doing here?

Well, I hate to be
commercial lady,

but somebody owes me 26.80.

Oh, that's right,
I'm sorry I forgot.

You also forgot to say goodbye.

Was a cute disappearing
act you and our partner pulled.

You didn't by chance see her?

You didn't pass her on the road?

No, what is she, sleep walking?

I don't know, but she's gone.

Oh disappeared again.

Say she must have been
raised in a magician's hat.

I'll get your money for you.

What's the matter?

Anything wrong?

I hate to go up those stairs.

Would you mind coming with me?

Upstairs?

With you?

I better come back
in the morning.

Oh please, won't you come.

Say, are you in a
jam or something?

Just nervous I guess.

Nervous? Why?

Well, I can't explain but,

well things have
been happening and...

Well you can stop
worrying honey,

nothing's gonna happen to you.

Come on.

I'd hate to pay the light
bill in a joint like this.

Oh, this is my room.

Well, if you don't
mind, I'll just wait here.

Miss Carrington!
Miss Carrington!

Oh!

What's going on here?

Who's that guy
in the black coat?

What happened to her?

Who are you?

I'm the house keeper.

Fine way to keep
house, women screaming,

boogiemen jumping
out of windows.

If I had a house like this
I wouldn't wanna keep it.

Miss Carrington,
Miss Carrington.

Miss Carrington.

What's going on here?

I just said that.

Who are you?

And don't tell me you're
this girl's rich uncle.

Don't be silly I'm her father.

Well that's close enough.

Ann! Ann!

She's fainted.

I'll betcha the first thing
she says when she opens

her eyes is where am I?

What happened?

Say, what are you doing here?

All right, so I'll
explain it to you.

This young lady owes
me for a taxi cab ride.

I came here to collect it,
she asked me up to this room,

I heard her scream and
walked into the middle

of an Orson Wells broadcast.

A man was standing
over me with a knife.

There it is there!

Where did you get that knife?

I found it on the
window in the next room.

Perhaps Topper's
story was right.

He said they'd
murdered the other girl.

Now they're try to murder Ann!

Rama call the police.

Oh well now wait a minute,
you don't think I had anything

to do with this.

Do you?

Certainly not.

Ann dear, you'd better
get your clothes on.

I'm afraid you're going to
remain here young man.

But good heavens, why
should anybody want to kill

Miss Carrington?

Well, they killed
me, didn't they?

Yes, I can understand
that, but Miss Carrington,

Oh don't worry
about her anymore.

She's got a nice
handsome bodyguard.

He's a taxi driver.

Maybe he's the one
that's doing all the killing.

Nonsense, he didn't bring
his cab in the house with him.

Hm, well then if she's safe,
there's no reason for me

to stay, good night.

I've had a lovely time.

Oh Toppy don't run out now.

Well, you've got to
find out who killed me.

Then we'll know
who's threatening Ann.

Yes, but I don't want my
wife threatening me, you see?

And she will if she finds out.

No, I'm going home.

Oh!

Madam, I'm quite
sure you're mistaken.

I'm not mistaken,
I know I'm not.

I'm Mrs. Topper,
aren't I Edward?

Yes ma'am, but
I don't think that's

what the gentleman means.

I certainly do know what I mean.

Don't I?

Frankly madam, I don't know.

Well, who does?

What do you say we
start from the beginning?

- That's a good idea.
- Yeah.

Where is my husband?

But madam, I don't know.

This is a private home.

Private?

It looks more like
a parade ground.

Can I help you?

You certainly can.

Do you live here?

Yes, I do.

I'm Mrs. Topper, I'm looking
for my husband, Mr. Topper.

Oh! Where's that
friend of yours?

The one that goes around
sitting on people's laps?

Well I...

She's been murdered
according to your husband.

Don't change the subject.

If you won't help us
we'll find him ourselves.

Come along Emily.

I think you'll find him
in the sitting room.

The sitting room.

Maybe she's still
sitting on his lap.

Sitting on his lap!

Good heavens!

You mean you've got
a room just for that?

Where is it?

Right this way.

Come along Emily, come along.

Here she comes,
you've got to go.

I don't trust you bunny,
you tried to run out on me.

How can I run
out with her there?

And how can I face
here with you here?

Well, sounds logical.

Okay, here we go.

Come on fella.

Cosmo!

Cosmo?

Well? Where is he?

He was here a few minutes ago.

Rama, what happened to him?

I don't know sir, but
I'm positive he hasn't

- left the house.
- And he won't.

Not till I find him and give
him a piece of my mind.

- Do you mind?
- Not at all.

Where's the telephone?

Right this way.

Come along Emily.

Come along Edward, Cosmo!

Cosmo! Cosmo!

Operator, operator I want
to report a missing husband.

Edward, you look
for him down that way.

It's awful dark down there.

Darkness never hurt anyone.

It ain't the darkness Mrs.
Topper, it's what's in it.

Don't be silly,
there's no difference

between light and dark,
except the lights are out.

Run along.

I'll go, but every hair on
my coat is standing on end.

Cosmo Topper?

What's he look like?

Like a banker.

Of course, that's
because he is a banker.

Well, can you describe him?

Well, he wears a size
15 shirt, with a 33 sleeve.

A nine and a half sock lisle,

and is slightly bald.

Oh yes, there's something else.

Let me see, I paid the milkman,
that luncheon's been changed

from Thursday to Friday, oh
yes, there's been a murder.

Murder?

Yes, murder.

Capital M-U-R-D-E-R, murder.

Trying to make these
policemen understand something

is harder than
doing it yourself.

Mr. Topper?

Hey Eddie, got a cigarette?

Gimme a match.

Mr. Topper!

Mr. Topper!

Mr. Topper!

Oh Mr. Topper!

Cosmo?

Cosmo?

Cosmo where are you?

Why Toppy!

What are you doing here?

Oh where are you?

Behind the screen.

Oh.

Getting dressed.

Oh little sassy face,
didn't your ma ever tell ya

to knock on a lady's bedroom
door before you barge in?

This is most embarrassing.

Why couldn't you have
stayed the way you were?

A negligee is hardly
appropriate for solving crimes.

Come on Toppy,
we've got things to do.

Cosmo!

Gotta get out of here.

Cosmo?

I'm from headquarters,
what's the trouble here?

Troubles here?

Now don't stand there dumb!

I got a phone call
about a half an hour ago

that there's been a murder.

And maybe you did it.

Cosmo?

In here quick!

Cosmo? Cosmo?

Oh, this must be the kitchen.

Yeah, well, it's
not the music room.

Well, he's not here.

Cosmo?

Where are earth can he be?

Cosmo?

Cosmo!

My, it's drafty in here.

Oh look at the chocolate cake!

Emily make some tea.

Tea?

Mmmm! Of course,
to go with our cake.

But what about Mr. Topper?

Emily you know
he never drinks tea.

- Well yes I know...
- What.

This is getting
awful monotonous.

Now then, did you
see the face of the man

who wore the cloak?

No it, it was covered up.

Somebody's covering up
a lot of things around here.

Why don't you let her alone?

She's nervous and upset.

She is?

How do you think I feel?

A murder and no body.

Didn't anybody see a body?

Didn't you say Topper
said he saw the body?

Cut the double talk!

Who's Topper?

He's the man who
said he saw the body.

Where is he?

- He's gone.
- He's gone?

The body's gone.

Say what are you
people trying to do to me?

I'm sure sergeant it's nothing
but a tempest in a teapot.

Miss Carrington had a note
from the supposedly dead girl

that will clear it all up.

Where's the note?

It's gone.

The note's gone?

Topper's gone.

The body's gone!

Now look here!

I don't have to come
here to be made a fool of!

Beg pardon sir, but I
believe Miss Carrington

left the note upstairs.

Jim, take the boys upstairs.

Search everywhere,
don't miss anything.

Tear it apart!

Now look here
Rebecca, quit stalling.

Where is this guy Topper?

I don't know.

Well what was he doing
here in the first place?

I don't know.

Say, what do you think I am?

I don't know.

Who's this fresh guy?

Oh, he's all right,
he's a taxi driver.

Yeah?

Well where's your taxi?

Now don't tell me
that's disappeared too.

Where do you think it is?

I'm not supposed to think!

I'm from the city hall.

Now where was I?

I don't know.

Emily this cake
is simply delicious.

Glad you like it.

It's the best you've ever made.

This is not our cake.

Oh, I forgot.

Some cream, Emily, please?

Cream, yes ma'am.

- Oh, hello.
- Shhh!

Help!

Emily!

Cosmo!

What in the world
are you doing in here?

Just sitting dear.

Bit chilly outside.

But you, you never
used to sit in our icebox.

Getting out of a nice
warm bed to come

and sit in someone's icebox.

I don't understand it!

Oh but I do understand
it don't I, Emily?

I hope so.

That scream came from in here.

Hey look.

A prowler!

Who are you?

I'm Mrs. Topper, who are you?

Mrs. Topper!

Where's your husband?

In the icebox.

Has he got the body with 'im?

Certainly, under his overcoat.

So you're Topper, huh?

Would you mind coming
out of cold storage?

I will not.

Say what's the matter with him?

Is he icebox crazy?

He's suffering
from hallucinations.

Oh, you wouldn't by
any chance be thinking

you were a lamb chop?

Now then, what do you mean
by stealing into this house

in the middle of the night?

And what have you done with
that girl you had on your lap?

Girl on his lap, eh?

Ho ho! A love triangle.

Do you really think so officer?

I get it.

You sneaked into
here to see some gal.

Your wife followed.

You had to get rid of the
dame, so you knocked her off.

Yes or no?

I did not.

Where's the body?

I don't know.

So you admit there is a body.

Yes.

I came over here to look for it.

Well how'd you know it was here?

She told me.

She? Who's she?

The dead girl.

Well, now we're get...

Wait a minute.

How could a dead person talk?

I don't know, but this one does.

Oh, I mean, I know you
won't believe what I'm going

to tell you but...

Well we certainly won't!

Where were you when
the attempt was made

on Miss Carrington's life?

In the library, I
think, I don't know.

Did you or did you not
try to stab this young lady?

Don't be ridiculous officer,
Cosmo wouldn't stab anybody.

He can't even carve a turkey.

Now listen lady, somebody
kills a dame who talks

after she's dead and the
body gets up and walks away.

Somebody tried to
whittle on this young lady,

and I find him
hiding in the icebox!

Here Toppy, take this.

- I don't want it.
- He gets his wish.

You mean you're
going to arrest him?

Well, these ain't exactly
charm bracelets lady.

Oh!

He's got a gun!

It's mine!

Cosmo, give the
man back his gun.

Don't do that.

Cosmo!

Call out somebody!

Cosmo you'll hurt yourself!

Riley you'll wind up
in the sticks for this!

Don't do that, stop it.

It might go off!

Come on!

You shouldn't do that!

They'll catch cold.

Let go of me! Let go of me!

You shouldn't have
made me do that.

You wanna go to jail?

No, but we can't
go on like this.

My wife, the police, what
do you suppose they think!

They think you're guilty of
house breaking and murder.

- Yes.
- Come on, let's find my body.

No, because after we
do find it then I will be

accused of murdering you.

But I've got evidence
to prove you're innocent.

- What evidence?
- This note

I was supposed to have
written Ann but didn't.

Who did?

I'll tell you when we find me.

Come on.

You're tired?

How you think I feel?

My goodness!

What makes it so cold in here?

Bless you.

You and your husband!

When it comes to picking
out husbands, Mrs. Topper,

you certainly take the cake.

I only took a small piece
and a little cup of tea.

That's no reason we
should be locked up in here.

Look Mrs. Topper,
I'm not complaining,

but I'm a personal maid,
and not Admiral Burrs.

Oh Emily, shut up.

We'll all get pneumonia.

Can't you break down that door?

It's as solid as a rock.

Come in!

Quiet!

What's the funny noise?

That's my teeth chattering!

Well why don't you
put 'em in your pocket?

Who has a screw driver?

You need a screw
driver to get 'em out?

I've got a button hook.

Where is it?

Home on my dresser.

Oh my, come on,
everybody look around,

there oughta be
something here we can use.

Well, there's nothing in this
joint but frozen tomatoes and,

And dead chickens.

Look, can you do
something with this?

Oh, I give up.

May I suggest sir, that
you break the glass.

What?

Break the glass.

Okay.

So what good did that do?

He means the glass
in the door, dummy.

Okay, but I think you're
taking a lot of liberties.

- Look out.
- Oh!

Now wait a minute,
I'll take charge of this.

Riley you take the upstairs,
and you take the downstairs.

You take this.

Personally I think someone
should call the police.

Well, I'll take care of that.

Check that for finger prints.

- Hear that?
- Yeah.

Shhhh.

Quiet Toppy, don't be nervous.

Gimme that.

Eddie!

Where have you been?

Boss, that's something
I'll never know.

You still looking for a body?

Yes.

It was down
there, but it just left.

It left?

It just put out to sea.

That's the truth boss, but I
ain't going back to prove it.

Oh yes you are.

Yes sir.

My my, the things
I get myself into.

Come on.

Eddie, you're going to stay
right here until we get back.

Yes sir.

But don't bet on it unless
you get awful good odds.

Oh Toppy, you're
terrible at rowing a boat.

Get up front and
let me do the rowing.

Here we go, hold tight.

No it ain't.

Yes it is!

If you go out, I'm
going with you.

Hurry, help me up.

Give me your hand.

Why do it the hard way?

Thems the orders
I got from the boss

and thems the orders
I'm passing on to you.

Gonna do it my way, see?

Can't a guy ask questions?

No!

I say were dump her here.

Right where we dumped
Butch and Liverlimp.

South 10 miles and plenty deep.

Oh why not wrap her
up in a concrete mudpack

and drop her right here?

The tide'll take her out.

That's the boss's orders
and don't argue with me!

Go below and get
that engine started.

Okay.

Gail! Come here quick!

Here you are in here.

Oh dear, I look
so uncomfortable.

Start the engine.

We've gotta get off.

No, you lower the boat,
and I'll take care of them.

Keep that engine running!

I had it running, it stopped.

What stopped it?

I don't know.

Ya dummy!

How do you expect
that engine to run

with the juiced turned off?

Gimme that.

Come on, get out of the way.

See? That's going.

Turn it on!

And leave it on.

I didn't do it!

Honest, I didn't.

Come on Toppy.

What are you doing here?

If you'd asked me
that a second later,

you'd have been
talking to yourself.

What have you got in that boat?

The body.

That does it.

No ya don't.

Trying to hide it, huh?

No, no, I'm bringing it back.

Bringing it back.

Well, brother you've got a
lot of questions to answer.

I gotta hunch, it ain't
gonna be no quiz program.

Joe take 'em upstairs.

Everybody here?

Yes sir, all here.

All right, now get
this and get it straight.

Nobody leaves this
room unless I say so.

And you, stop chewing that gum.

Chewin'?

I ain't even breathin'!

Not you, her.

I'm sorry Miss Carrington,
I know this is gonna be

a bit unpleasant for you,

but would you mind stepping
into the next room with me?

Miss Carrington, I'm
going to raise this sheet.

See if you can
identify this young lady.

How long's she been living here?

She came here tonight
with Miss Carrington.

Nice looking gal.

Too bad she had to go so young.

She's got awful big feet though.

Who did that?

Who hit me when
I wasn't looking?

Was you in that room just now?

Not now, then, or ever.

Don't tell me the
joint's haunted.

Now look, I was
standing in that room,

minding my own business.

Just as I say what
big feet she's got,

I get slapped in the kisser.

Who did that?

Who went out that door?

Nobody.

Now wait a minute,
doors just don't open

and shut themselves.

Yeah, but that one did.

Hey, who went out that door.

- You're who-ty.
- Who?

You feel better dear?

Well, she'd be all
right if Charlie Chan

had let her alone.

Sergeant Roberts, I
don't like to interfere,

but is it necessary to subject
my daughter to all of this?

She's terribly nervous.

Won't you, would you
please let her go to her room?

Nobody leaves this room.

Not even me, and that
goes for the both of us.

Big feet, huh?

I'll match mine
with his any day.

Have another.

Don't mind if I do.

Innocent men stay home nights.

They don't hide in iceboxes.

And they don't take
dead bodies on boat rides.

Why did you kill her?

I didn't.

That's only one man's opinion.

I can prove it.

How?

Leave me alone in
that room for a minute.

Ho ho!

I'm not that dumb.

Well, that's only one
man's opinion too.

Officer let him have his way.

There are no windows
in the trophy room.

Any iceboxes?

No.

All right, I'll give
you three minutes.

If you're not back in this
room with a 14 karat alibi

this lady's gonna make one
of the most charming widows

I've ever met.

Thank you officer.

Gail, Gail where are you?

Just getting
another bottle Toppy.

Be right with you.

You and I'll have a
little drink together.

Whoops, catch me!

Good boy Toppy.

Don't drop me.

Now you stand up
and behave yourself.

Sweetie, lemme muss your hair.

Stop it, will you stop it?

This is no time to be playful.

Where's that note?

What note?

The proof you said you had.

Toppy, I wanna lie down.

I'm sleepy.

You can't get sleepy now.

You got me into this and
you've got to get me out of it.

Gimme a hand.

Oh dear, here come on.

Toppy, I feel so silly.

Quiet.

It's like being on
a row boat in here.

Try to walk straight.

Oh! Look at the pretty couch.

There.

Ahh.

That feels so good.

Toppy, put my feet up.

Oh.

Gail, this is serious.

Where is that note?

I don't know.

Try to think what
you did with it

or I'll be arrested.

Put a cold towel
on my head sweetie,

and I'll try and think.

Do please, try and pull
yourself together will you?

Got a little headache, you know.

Have you got an asprin on you?

No, but I'll get you one.

Well that settles it.

That guy's as nutty
as a candy bar.

Send for a straight jacket.

Make it two, one for me.

Get up!

Now where's that note?

There it is down there.

Huh? Oh.

What does this prove?

I didn't write it.

Who did?

Lillian the house keeper.

Here's a sample
of her hand writing.

They're identical.

Mmhm.

Then she must be in on it.

Mmhm.

Sit down.

You admit you wrote
that letter don't you?

Yes.

And this is the note you found

in the murdered girl's room?

Yes.

Then how do you account
for they're both being

in the same hand writing?

I don't know.

Listen sister, it looks
like you're all set

for a first degree murder wrap.

Of course, if you come
clean, we could go a little

easier on ya.

I wasn't alone in this.

I wrote the note,
but I didn't kill her.

Who did?

Come on, who did it?

It, it was...

Turn on the lights, quick!

Come on now who...

There's a pick
pocket in the joint.

Whoever stole that
witness, put her back.

Jim, search the cellar,
search the icebox,

search the attic.

- Where's the attic?
- Search me.

I've been in politics 10 years
and I've never seen anything

as balled up as this is.

Darrel, guard that front door.

Don't let anybody in or out.

What's down there?

That's the kitchen.

If I find that dame in
the icebox I'll resign.

And I'll drop dead.

Oh come, come now
brace up, brace up.

I'd appreciate it so
much if you'd stay here

with my daughter.

I want to talk to
Sergeant Roberts.

It'll be a pleasure sir.

Come come.

Now I got ya!

Oh! You horrible man!

I see no reason for us
to stay in this awful house

while you go around
opening and shutting doors.

Quiet.

I will not be quiet!

I'm so nervous I could scream.

In fact, I think I will.

Oh! That's fun, isn't it?

Come on, let's do it together.

Stay here.

Sounds like my wife.

Miss Carrington?

Miss Carrington?
Miss Carrington?

Miss Carrington?

Well, where is she?

She was here a second ago.

Oh what's happened now?

Miss Carrington's disappeared.

Well I left her with him.

Say what is this, the
fun house at the beach?

Everybody that talks
to you disappears.

Now I'm talking to ya.

I supposed I'll turn up missing.

That is the best suggestion
you've made tonight.

Well, that's all right.

Don't you ever
park near a fire plug.

As for you...

Officer, I want to go home.

I'll tell you when to go.

And I'll tell you where to go.

Sit down.

Gail, Ann has disappeared.

Disappeared?

Entirely.

Well we've got to find her!

Police won't let
me out of their sight.

Well they can't stop me.

Don't go out there, Mrs.
Topper's just outside.

I'll fix that.

Well, where is she?

Where is who dear?

You know perfectly
well who I mean!

That, that girl.

There wasn't any.

Oh yes there was.

I heard you both in that room.

Pardon me Mrs. Topper,
but it's getting kinda late,

can't we settle this at home?

Edward, don't interrupt.

Yes'm.

Cosmo, I should think
after 20 years of married life

you wouldn't try to deceive me.

Why I remember our
honeymoon in Atlantic City.

You promised me you'd
never look at another woman.

Mr. Topper!

You better keep away from me

or you'll be a coat.

Hey!

Taxi?

Clara please, I've
had a frightful night.

Boss wait!

Don't sit in that chair!

Whatever you do
don't sit in that chair.

Edward will you
stop interrupting?

Why you're all wet.

Is it raining out?

Oh, but you haven't been out.

Can't be raining in.

Well, if it has,
it's all cleared up.

I can't stand much more.

Oh oh boss, that's
chair's deceptive,

destructible, distrust worthy

and this is the
voice of experience.

What are you talking about?

Boss you sit in that chair
and things happen, quick.

Oh don't talk nonsense.

It ain't nonsense.

It's serious.

Look boss, I sat in
that chair just like this.

Cross my leg just like this.

Leaned back, here I go again.

Well that's a silly
way to leave the room.

Why didn't he use the door?

Mr. Topper!

Well, as I was saying,
I'll always stand by you

no matter what happens.

Yes dear just be
quiet will you please?

Well if that's the
way you feel about it,

I won't say another word.

Cosmo, what a charming idea.

We should have one
of these in our house

for weekend guests, really.

Clara for heaven
sake get out of there.

Okay you take it down this way,

and you go upstairs.

If you find anything
I'll be right here.

Boy what a night.

I've never been on such a
merry-go-round in my life!

Oh, I sure needed that one.

Toppy, I just saw the
murder in the cellar.

- Who is he?
- I don't know,

I couldn't see his face.

But he was all muffled
up in a big black cloak.

Well, whoever he is,
he was in that room

when the housekeeper
disappeared.

Because I found the
contraption in the fireplace

that operates the
chair she was sitting on.

- Toppy, - What?

We've got to make
him convict himself.

How?

You sit in that chair, and
tell them that you know

who the murder is.

Me?

Sitting in that chair?

But I'll disappear too.

Oh no, not if you keep
your eye on the fireplace.

And the first one that
makes a move toward it,

that's the one we're after.

You're not afraid.

What makes you think I'm not?

I simply want
to tell all I know.

Well, that shouldn't
take very long.

Sit down.

Now cut out the stalling!

Who killed Gail Richards?

Pick 'em out.

In the first place the
one they wanted to kill

was Miss Carrington.

Well never mind
who they were after.

Who done it?

The murderer didn't know
he killed the wrong girl.

When he found out he was
panicky and hid the body.

You see doctor, I did
not have hallucinations.

Fairly interesting.

Say what are you
watching that fireplace for?

Who do you expect, Santa Claus?

Come on!

Who done it?

The house keeper knew.

She knew too much,
but she wasn't the one.

When she was about to
confess, she disappeared

from this very chair.

And the person who
caused her disappearance

was standing right
beside this fireplace

when it happened.

What do you say doc?

He's looking right
straight at you.

The man's mad, I was
nowhere near the fireplace

when it happened.

I was over there.

Rama, you were standing
here by the fireplace.

You're mistaken Dr. Jeris.

I was standing
by the library door.

Wait a minute.

Who was standing
by the fireplace

when the house
keeper disappeared?

Why, Father, you were there.

Why yes, come
to think of it, I was.

Mr. Carrington, would you
mind sitting in that chair?

Of course not.

That's enough!

Get 'em up all of ya!

Get 'em up.

Get 'em up!

Father!

Nevermind that, put
your hands up too.

And if you've got any sense,
you won't move a muscle.

You see, I told you it was him.

Sergeant Roberts
it's been a pleasure

to do business with a
man of your intelligence.

Take your hands off that wheel!

Don't be a backseat driver.

Sit down.

That was a close one.

Hold tight!

Here we go again.

Well it serves you right.

Oh, I'd hate to
be in your shoes.

First murder and
now reckless driving.

The recording angel'll
certainly throw the book at you!

Say, what are you doing here?

Oof!

- Steady old boy.
- I beg your pardon.

Now, why did you try
to kill your daughter?

Oh don't be silly.

I'm not Ann's father.

Who are you?

I'm Walter Harberg.

Carrington's partner.

Carrington was killed
in a mine cave in.

So that's it.

Why you ghost of a
double crossing crook.

Ann must know about this!

Too late now.

Oh no, we're stuck
here till she finds out.

And when she knows the truth,

I can go to heaven
and you can go to,

give me a pencil quick.

And a piece of paper.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Take a letter.

Dear Ann, I am not
your father, period.

Well if he was looking for
an accident he sure found it.

This is gonna cost him his
driver's license you know

that don't you?

Come on.

Here Toppy, give this to Ann.

I'm sorry about your
father Miss Carrington.

Wait a minute, he
wasn't her father.

Miss Carrington this is for you.

Well what's this all about?

Well here, read it.

Or am I expecting too much?

Where did you get this note?

It flew into my hand.

Notes that fly, fathers
that ain't fathers,

leaping chairs!

Come on let's get out of here

before the trees start talking!

Edward?

Edward where are you?

Here I am.

And here I go.

Edward come back here.

Not me.

From now on I used
to be your chauffeur.

But you've gotta drive us home.

Not in that car.

Enough is enough and that's
what I've had a abundancy of!

Very well, if that's the
way you feel about it,

Emily will drive us.

And Cosmo, this
time I'll sit on your lap.

All right darling.

Emily do you know how to drive?

No ma'am.

Isn't it exciting?

Thanks Eddie, you've
been a great help.

Sorry I had to dump
you in the water old boy.