All language subtitles for This Could Be the Night

* this could be the night

* this the fated hour

* if we play it right

* we can watch it
blossom and flower *

* this could be the time

* it's a happy thing

* not a simple chime

* but the loudest bell
we ever heard ring *

* why should we fight it?
It's only beginning *

* why should we fight it
and not take our inning? *

* why should we fight it?
There's no chance of winning *

* and in this case defeat
would be oh, so sweet *

* other nights may come

* ooh wa ooh wa

* other nights may go

* but tonight I know

* paradise is in our sight

* and this could be the night

* this could be the night

* this could be the night,
the wondrous night of *

* love

(Bell rings)

Yes, Mr. Rocco.
Yes, I can make it
at 4:00.

No, no. I said
I can make it at 4:00.

Fine.

Thank you.

Oh, Annie. Anne.

I'll try once more.
How about dinner tonight?

Sorry, Bruce.
Thanks anyway.

Oh, Annie, what
are you planning to be
when you grow up?

An old maid?

Somebody told you.

What's the matter, brucey?
Losing your touch?

Aw...

Oh, no.

They're looking for big ones.
You're way too small.

I have an appointment
with Mr. Rocco.

Gee, I'm sorry.
Come on.

(Swing music playing)

It's this way.

You're a singer?

Or a dancer?

Oh, a friend
of Mr. Rocco's, huh?

No. I've never
met him.

Rocco: What?!

A lady
to see you.

So what are you yelling for?
Bring her in.

Get me an alka-fiz
will you, Hussein?

I got terrible
heartburn.

Yeah. You want
to see me?

I'm Anne Leeds, Mr. Rocco.
I called you earlier
about a secretarial job.

So you're the one.
Ok. Take a chair
a minute.

What else didn't
I cover, Charlie?

Fifth of Jamaica.

The fifth.

Uh-huh.

Prince black,
a hundred
on the nose.

Where are you
gonna be tomorrow
in case I'm in the mood?

The first number.
The second's the day after.

Fly don't land,
you can't SWAT it,
eh, Charlie?

That's right.

Well,
what can you do?

Can you tell me
what you need, Mr. Rocco?

Anything I say I need,
you'll say you got.
That's human nature.

Besides
I asked you first.

All right.
I can take shorthand,
type, file--

bookkeeping?

Uh...I'm very good
at figures, yes.

98 cases of bourbon,
$50.37 a case.

What's the bill?

Uh...

What's the matter?
Can't you do it
in your head?

Well, no.
Can you?

I'm not looking
for a job.

But I don't see why
I should ever have to do it
in my head, Mr. Rocco.

Well, now that you
come to mention it,
neither do I.

Say, roc. Ma says
I'm wearing too much.
What do you think?

I don't know, patsy.
Ask Tony.

Ah! He'll agree
with ma.

Then I'll agree
with both of them.

Take them off.
Take them off.
Take them off.

I'll tell you
the truth.
You're too young.

Because this kind
of a job calls
for a person--

why don't you drink
that first, Mr. Rocco.

It's much better for you
while it's still fizzing.

Pardon me.

The guy
who invented that...

They ought to
give him a medal.

Now I was trying
to explain.

You see, I want
a secretary where
I'll be able to say,

"tell that lousy
liquor company
another batch like that

and I'll kick
their teeth out,"

and she'll be able
to answer it
like a diplomat.

This calls for
an older head, see?

Uh...gentlemen,
the last consignment
of liquor you sent US

was totally unsatisfactory.

Unless there is
a marked improvement,

the following order
will definitely be our last.

Yours very truly.

Hey, you speak
a beautiful English,
you know.

I teach English
at a public school.

A schoolteacher?!
Now, Mr. Rocco.

You must have
a pretty good
education, huh?

Well, I graduated
from Smith last year.

Never heard of it.
What kind of team
they got?

Oh, it's woman's college.
A very good one.

But it seems to me
there would be
a lot of places

more up your alley
than this,
like a bookstore.

This is the first add
for part-time

that I've seen
except for one from a writer.

His attitude
was a little unfortunate.

Made pass, huh?

It figures. A writer
sitting around on his
can all day thinking.

What else
has he got to do?

Well, it won't
happen here.

We got a house rule,
me and my partner.

No monkeying
with the help.

Were you thinking
of trying me, Mr. Rocco?

Don't rush me.

Here's
an employment card.
Fill it out.

Tony...

Well, I thought
you were sleeping.

I had to waken you,
didn't I?

Listen, Tony,
come on down
a minute.

I want to talk
to you.

All right. So you got
an appointment.

Time you spend yakking
you could be down
and up already.

You work from 6 to 11,
6 nights a week.

$55 a week
and dinner thrown in.

Fine.
Thank you very much.

It's just in case
somebody drops dead
on US,

we know where
to ship the body.

Tony, I just hired US
a schoolteacher
secretary,

a college girl
from smiths.

No, it's Smith,
Mr. Rocco.

Yeah, that's what
I just said.

Never heard of it.

It's only the best
woman's college
in the whole world.

Who needs it?

What's the matter?

You get up off
the wrong side of
the bed or something?

Did you ever work
at a club before?

No. So what?

She's gonna work
at the tonic,

let her break in
at the tonic.

If your partner feels
that I would be--

if he hired you,
you're hired.

Don't make a federal case
out of it, huh?

You start tonight,
huh?

Uh...yes.
Thank you.

Come back at 6:00.
I'll show you
the layout.

Won't hurt to have
a little class around.

Suppose we start picking
up the carriage trade.

I'm not interested
in the carriage trade.

I'm satisfied
with what we got.

You shouldn't be.

Young fellow like you,
you ought to be
wanting more, better.

More and better what?

I'm free.
I got plenty of dough,

a club we run to suit US
and not the customers,

and sense enough to know
when I'm well off, Rocco.

You know what's
your trouble, Tony?

You got no ambition.

I got lots of ambition.

I want everything to stay
just the way it is

without any fancy secretaries
who think they know more
than I do.

I like her.

You like her,
you got her.

I want to have her
place my bets.

I can't wait to get
a load of that bookie's
face when she says,

(very proper)
3 on the nose
at hialeah, my good man.

Thank you.

Oh, miss Leeds.

Oh, good afternoon,
Mr. Shea.

Hi. The wife and I
are going to the merry
daughters for supper,

so if you want to fix
a little something
in the kitchen--

oh, thanks, but I start
a part-time job tonight
that includes dinner.

Isn't that lucky?

I should say so.
What is it?
A restaurant?

Sort of. A place
called the tonic
in the east 50s.

That's a nightclub.

I know.
Sounds exciting,
doesn't it?

Katie...katie.

(Knock on door)

Come in.

We're not the type
of people who mix
with our roomers

whoever he
or she may be.

Is something wrong?

But a girl like you,
a nice girl,

I just have to say
what's on our mind.

Don't take that job
at the tonic.

Why? Do you know
something about it?

It was
in my husband's
district

in his capacity
as a fireman
before he retired.

The owner, that Rocco,
in prohibition,

he was one
of the biggest
bootleggers there was.

Really?

But prohibition
was so long ago.

But a leopard never
changes his stripes.

If my Nora worked there,
I wouldn't close
my eyes at night.

It's sweet of you to worry,
but it will be all right,
really.

And if it isn't a nice place,
I just won't stay.

Now, will you do me
an enormous favor

and help me decide
which of these to wear.

Well, that one.
Don't even think twice.

If you have to go,
at least go covered.

Tony: It's the first
time I caught you,
that's all.

You been at it
a good 2 weeks
every day.

Man: Give me
a break, Tony.

You said a mouthful.
I'm gonna give you
a break.

All right, taste the food.
Taste, don't guess.

Taste
until you get fat.

Man: Give you
my word of honor,

you can't send them out
looking like that.

Rocco: I don't know
what's your beef.

You knew we were going
to save a few bucks
and use old costumes.

Yeah, but not that old.
Not from the civil war.

Ah!

Hey, uh, baby...

Baby.

Come here a minute,
will you?

My new secretary.

Give me an honest answer.
Is anything wrong
with that costume?

I don't know anything
about costumes.

Who says you got to be
an expert.

I just want your opinion
as a human being.

Make like
you're a customer.

You're sitting at the table,
the girls come out...

What do you think?

Well, I think I'd think
they were a little
old fashioned.

Ha-ha!
You see, you see?

So make up
an old-fashioned number.

Wait a minute.

Maybe if we took
this off here...

They put them on
with spit.

Huh?

You know,
it looks better.

And if we took
this bit off here,

it might look
quite smart.

Tony: Got a new
stage manager, roc?

Homer don't like
the costumes.

Homer's right.
I ordered new ones.

The secretary works
in the office.

I asked her.

If you want to be sore,
be sore at me.

I'm not sore.

Hey, roc, when are you
gonna get yourself
a new suit.

I don't need a new
suit. I work in
the office, too.

Why don't you give
the kid a break?

She gets her salary,
don't she?
That's her break.

Oh, what's the use?

Are you happy?

You got more costumes,
I got less money.

It's not my club,
Mr. Rocco,

and if you
don't care how--

homer, please...

Play it on the piano!

On the what?

Oh, on the nose.
Yes. Yes, I'll tell him.

Thank you, uh, Charlie.

Charlie the book, eh?
What's the news? Bad?

I don't know,
but he says that Paula Lee
was scratched at the post,

and a horse
called puddy tat
paid $7.50,

and you made something
called a round Robin.

Round Robin?
I made the round Robin?

Baby, put it there.

Oh, boy! For 2 years
I've been trying and you
come along and do it.

Tell me,
was Charlie crying?

He wasn't laughing, no.

Dinner's ready.
You want it in the bar?

Sure. Whatever Leon
made for me, bring
some for her, too.

You eat what
the boss eats,
you can't go wrong.

Come on,
have a bite with me.

Don't you think
I better get started?

Baby, with that round Robin,
you're already started.

Looks quiet but wait.

In a couple hours,
it'll be so packed
you can't breathe.

What they pay to sit
on each other's laps
is a crime to take.

My new secretary.
The head waiter--eddy.

How do you do?

When the customers
ask for the maitre d',
you call him Eduardo.

Who knows?

Hi, roc.

Ray, my
new secretary.
Ray Anthony.

He's very big.

I know. I'm Anne Leeds,
Mr. Anthony.

Happy to have you
with US, Anne.

If he barks,
just bark back.

Nice clean-cut
young fellow.

With what he gets,
why not?

Hi, how are you?

Oh, Mike,
my new secretary.

Man: How are you
tonight, roc?

How are you tonight?
Regulars.

If we stayed open all night,
they'd stay open all night.

What do we got
to eat, Hussein?

Lasagna.

Good evening,
Hussein.

Anything else,
Mr. Rocco?

Yeah. When she says
good evening,
you say it back.

Good evening.

He's got a teacher
in high school
that gripes him.

He looks at you,
he thinks of her.

Go ahead, eat.
Don't worry.

Good, huh?

I can tell right away
it's gonna kill me,
but I can't pass it up.

You shouldn't be eating
anything this heavy,

not when you had heartburn
this afternoon.

I get it
every afternoon.

I got to eat, don't I?

Yeah, but if you had
something light,

like a broiled lamb chop
and a green vegetable--

I'd still get heartburn.

I bet you wouldn't.

Oh, yeah. What odds
you want to give me?

Me and heartburn are
a cinch daily double.

Well, sitting
in a front booth,

eating your own food,
and laughing.

You saving money
on shills?

Why not?
What got you up
so early, Ziggy?

I couldn't sleep.
What's new?

Her. My secretary.

Ooh. So that's what
they call it now.

He writes a column.
They all have
dirty minds.

I want one, roc.

Right out
of the same barrel.

He's not a bad guy.
The dames
don't like him.

Makes him
a little sour.

Tony.
Hi, zig.

Roc, did you take
reservations on the phone?

Yeah. Did I forget
to tell eddy again?

Well, never mind.
From now on,
baby will keep me--

I'll be in the office,
Mr. Rocco.

It's time
I got to work.

Uh, miss, stop by
the kitchen, will you?

Tell Leon Mr. Hallerby
will be in at 9:00. Table 6.

Mr. Hallerby,
table 6 at 9:00.

Anything goes
as long as Leon
cooks it himself.

Right.

You know who
she reminds me of?

My ex.

Well, that must
make you happy.

How much was it
Tina took you for?

Ok, wiseguy.
She reminds me
of Tina

before Tina
got to know
guys like me or you.

Anybody wants me,
I'll be at
Washington market

looking at eggplants
instead of comics.

Believe me,
it'll be a relief.

Come on, roc.

Hey, roc.

Is this why every cent
I made I spent on you?

So you could chop onions
in a kitchen?

But, ma, I got
a whole lifetime
before I go on.

Who's it gonna hurt
if she learns how to make

a simple dish
of sauteed chicken livers?

Is it wrong
if I have ambition

and I want you
to be the best hoofer
in the world?

Lots of people
cook for a hobby.
Ask anybody.

Ask her,
the new secretary.
A college grad!

Isn't it a fact
that lots of famous people
cook for a hobby?

Why, yes,
I believe so--

I don't need your
advice, big-brained
girl genius.

Whoa! Ma!

She's crazy.

Uh, Leon,
Tony, uh...

What is his
last name, please?

Armotti.

Oh, thank you.

He said that
Mr. Hallerby will be
in at 9:00, table 6.

He doesn't care
what he eats as long
as you make it.

Oh, compliments.
Tricks just to get me
interested.

If you made the lasagna,
I don't blame him.

Well...

You can come in here
anytime you like.

Go ahead,
make yourself at home.

Why, thank you.

Boys, men, and chef,
this could be the night.

Well, hey,
look at that!

Oh, Ivy, it's beautiful.
J-Just beautiful.

You're very sexy,
too, Leon.

It's true.
I don't deny it.
I was born that way.

Oh, this is
the new secretary.

How do you do?

Well,
the wholesome type.

Camel's hair coat,
saddle shoes,

and just a teeny bit
of lipstick.

But don't you worry,
darling.

You can get over it.

I've never met so many
amazing characters
in one place

in all my life.

Wait a minute.

If you mean Ivy,
she's a wonderful woman.

And only a schoolgirl
like you, taken out
of the oven half-baked,

would dare to call
Ivy corlane a character.

But I didn't mean it
that way.

It's just that
I've never met
anybody like her.

Please, please,
the slumming party
in the kitchen is all over.

Good-bye.

Ooh.

Oh, can I do anything
for you?

I shouldn't think so.

Well, don't let me
bother you.

(Telephone rings)

Hello, uh...

Mr. Rocco's office.

Uh, no, he isn't.
May I take a message?

Who did you say?

Yes.

Waxie's 10 is up
tomorrow...

What does Mr. Rocco
want to do about it?

I-Is that
what you said?

Waxie London.
Been in sing sing 10 years.
Gets out tomorrow.

Does Rocco want
to throw him a party
for auld lang syne?

Got it?

Oh, thank you,
Mr., uh...

Devlin.
Stowe devlin.

Thank you,
Mr. Devlin.

Massachusetts?

Newton.
Ditto.

Really?

Radcliffe?

Smith.

Harvard?
Sorry. Amherst.

I'm perfectly
satisfied.

Is it ever good to
meet somebody like
you in this place.

Really? Why?

I just started
working here,
and honestly,

it's like being in
a foreign country.

You don't know
what a relief it is

to run into somebody
who speaks my language.

Could I ask you
a few questions
about the place?

Hmm...

I don't think so. No.

If you're in a foreign
country, you ought to
learn the language

from the natives,
not another tourist.

Hey. Hi, counselor.
How'd you do in court?

Drew an honest judge.
Very irritating.

If you don't get off
this "Cook it yourself"
Kick,

my chef's gonna quit
on me.

He's jealous,
that's all.

Thought you were
going to play me

a little handball
this afternoon.

I got a little
tied up.

With what?
Or is it with whom?

(Laughing boisterously)

Announcer:
And now it's show time,
ladies and gentlemen.

I'm gonna live till I die,

and a girl who's
an authority on living,

Ivy corlane.

* I'm gonna live
till I die *

* I'm gonna laugh
instead of cry *

* I'm gonna take the town
and turn it upside down *

* I'm gonna live,
live, live *

* till I die

* I'm gonna look

* for my guy

* I'm gonna plan
for the sky *

* ain't gonna miss a thing,
I'm gonna have my fling *

* I'm gonna live,
live, live *

* till I die

* the blues'll lay low

* I'll make 'em stay low

* they'll never trail
over my head *

* I'll be a devil

* till I'm an angel

* but until then

* hallelujah,
gonna dance *

* gonna fly

* I'll take a chance
ridin' high *

* before my number's up,
I'm gonna fill my cup *

* I'm gonna live,
live, live, live, live *

* until I die

* the blues'll lay low

* I'll make 'em stay low

* they'll never trail
over my head *

* I'll be a devil

* till I'm an angel

* but until then

* hallelujah

* gonna dance, gonna fly

* I'll take a chance,
ridin' high *

* before my number's up,
I'm gonna fill my cup *

* gonna live,
live, live, live *

* live

* until I die

* here I go again

* I hear those trumpets
blow again *

* all aglow again...

(Telephone rings)

(Ring)

Hello.
Mr. Rocco's office.

Mr. Hallerby, yes.
He has a reservation
at 9:00.

Hold on. I'll see
if he's here.

* I walk around
with a horseshoe *

* in clover, I lie...

Could you tell me
where table 6 is,
if you please?

The double table
over there.

Thank you.

Mr. Hallerby,
your secretary's
on the phone.

Would you like to take it
in the office?

You're new,
aren't you?

Are you sure
it's all right?

Oh, yes.

Excuse me, honey.
Be right back.

* taking a chance

* on love

yes?

(Woman shouting)

Oh, it's you,
Marian.

You idiot.
You pin-headed
idiot.

What?

I knew if I kept
at it long enough
I'd find you.

Yes, it was
clever of you
to find me.

Believe me, dear,
I'm in the middle

of a conference
dinner with
my sales staff.

You shut up
and listen to me!

Yes, dear. I'll
listen to you.

You come home right now!
Right now!

H-Hello?

You dim-witted
fool.

You lame-brained
sap.

Tony, fire her.

I think he's gone
out of his mind.

The one place
that my wife
didn't know about,

and she has to tell
her I'm here.

How was I to know
that he--

quiet! Quiet!

Suppose you let me
handle this, Mr. Hallerby.

I want you
to fire her,
Tony, right now

or I'll never
set foot in here
again.

Sorry, but no one
tells me how to run my club.

Ok, ok, if that's
the way you want it.

I'll never set foot
in here again.

Isn't he horrible?
You should have heard him
lying to his wife.

Groveling,
it was sickening.

Thank you so much,
Mr. Armotti, for--

take it.

The week's salary.
You're fired.

Because I didn't lie
for him?!

Partly. Mostly
because you just
don't fit in.

I'm sorry.

Ooh, you must hate
doing this
so conventionally.

What a pity you can't
hit me like you did
that man in the alley.

Don't kid yourself,
honey.

If I caught you dipping
your fingers in the till
the way he did,

I'd clip you, too.

But him, I didn't fire
because he's good at his job,
which you're not.

Is that nice and clear?

Perfectly. If you're
a thief or a liar, you
belong at the tonic.

Otherwise, you don't.

You tell 'em, sister.
Get a soapbox and tell 'em.

When you unload,
be careful.

That fruit
ain't made out of lead.

Man: Ok.

Hey, go home already.

Catch a little sleep.

Hey, Leon, eddy.
Good night.

Oh, thanks,
roc.

All: Good night,
sir Rocco.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.
At least sit down.

You're always running away
when you're winning.

We're gonna play one more,
and don't cheat
when I'm not looking.

Hey, what do
you say, roc?

Hey, you could eat
off the floor, Tony.

Look, pencils
with points.

Everything where
it ought to be.

An alka-fiz even,
so I don't have
to send out.

The kid must have
put in a night's work.

What time
did she go home?

About 10:00.
I canned her.

What do you mean,
you canned her?

I mean I canned her,
I fired her.

She lost US hallerby.
You know how much a year
we made on him?

She wasn't right
for US, roc.
Why drag it out?

You know what
you're gonna do?

You're gonna get
her back now and
you're gonna apologize.

What are you
talking about?

That's right. You're
gonna make her
an apology.

I hired her! Where
do you come off
firing her?

What are you
all of a sudden,
running the club?

The boss? Why, you punk,
where would you be
without me?

When I picked you
off the streets,
you didn't have a--

I didn't have dime.
I was a big load of nothing
walking around.

I didn't mean it.
Don't put words
in my mouth.

You meant it,
and it's true.

I thought it was way
back in the old days.

I didn't think it was
still on your mind.

I'm not thinking
about it now,

and I never
thought about it
in the old days,

and that's
on the level.

People get sore,
they say things.

Ok, I got sore.

I don't get it.
Just today, just since
you hired that dame.

What are you
in such an uproar about?

Do me something.
I like having her
around.

All right, all right.

Hallerby was blowing
his top, roc,

and I, uh...

Maybe I didn't give her
a fair shake.

Listen, roc,
it's pretty late.

Is it ok if I go
see her tomorrow?

Sure. Anyways, you
got company, huh?

Yeah.

You don't want
to come up for a while?

All of a sudden
he's getting generous.

Come on.
What do you say, roc?

Nah, nah, nah.
Too lazy.

Anyways,
I want to lock up.
Go ahead.

Tony...

Yeah.

When you talk
to the kid,
be nice, huh?

Yeah. Sure, roc.

Hey, Jack.
Jack, where can I find
a miss Leeds?

Anne Leeds?

Yeah.

Are you
a friend of hers?

Well, do have to be
to see her?

Well, that's her room.

Thanks.

You'll have to wait
till class is dismissed.

All right.

You don't
have to wait.

I'd rather.

(Bell rings)

Children: Yay!

Oh, Anne, this gentleman
wanted to see you.

I didn't know
if you had the time, so i--

it's all right, Bruce.
Thank you.

Oh, I see.

Well, I'll be
right in here.

What does he think I want
at 5 to 12:00 in the morning?

I have no idea.
What do you want?

A couple of minutes.
A few words.

I guess places
like this
don't ever change.

Would you come
to the point, Mr. Armotti.

I have a meeting
in a few minutes.

Ok. You can forget
about being fired.

Why?

Let's say
I changed my mind.

What difference
does it make?

Mr. Rocco made you come,
didn't he?

No smoking, please.

Now, nobody makes me
do anything.

He likes you.
He's my partner.

I want him
to be satisfied.

What do you say?

I say no.
Thank you.

There would be no point.
You took an instant
dislike to me--

everybody
has to love you
or you can't work?

I didn't say that.

There are 2 waiters
and at least 4 musicians
at the club

who I know for a fact
hate my guts.

Let them.
I don't care.

Perhaps I'm not
as insensitive as you.
I do care.

I'd be uncomfortable
and I wouldn't be any good.

Look, you got me
all wrong.

I haven't anything
against you personally.

I'll admit I'm a little
prejudiced against
your type of girl.

What type is that?

Well...

Go on.

I'd be fascinated to hear
your considered opinion of me

based on one look
and 4 words.

The know everything,
been everyplace,

look down your nose
at everybody type.
That's what type.

Oh, that's ridiculous.

How can you just assume
that's the kind of person I am?

Please. Dames
like you come into
the club in packs.

You all look alike,
you all sound alike.

I spotted you the
minute you opened
your mouth.

I may have some kind
of new england accent
if that's what you mean,

but I can't help it
any more than you can help
your New York accent!

What New York accent?

Of all the moronic things,

to make a snap judgment
based on nothing.

What do you mean,
nothing?

You got everybody's
back up in 5 minutes.

You prance in there as
if you owned the joint.

What should I have done?

Crept in like a mouse,
wrung my hands,

and cried, "Everybody
please be nice to me

"because I've never had
any kind of a job
but teaching.

"I've never even been
away from home before,

and I'm finding it all
a bit scary"?

I'm sorry.
I'm afraid I lost my temper.

Anyway, I'm inclined
to think you're right.

I didn't seem to fit in,
and I did seem--

have you had lunch
already, Joey?

No, ma'am. Mom forgot
to give me the money,

but it's all right.
I'm not very hungry.

Dear, oh, dear.

Hurry to the cafeteria
before it closes.

You betcha,
teach--

and don't forget
to have some milk.

Joey: All right.

Poor child,
it happens 2 or 3
times a week.

And you shell out
every time?

He's a growing boy.
He can't go
without his lunch.

You don't think maybe
he's playing you for a sucker?

You mean lying
to get money?

Yeah. Yeah,
that's what I mean.

Don't you have
any trust in people
at all?

Hey, tell me, how long
you been teaching kids?

4 weeks. Why?

Baby...

Baby, you're green
all over, aren't you?

I don't think so.

My experience
may be limited,

but you don't have
to learn things
by experiencing them.

There are such things
as books, you know.

You don't have
to be a chicken
to make an omelet.

Say, that's a good one.

Oh, it's a very old one,
Mr. Armotti.

I have to go now.
Excuse me.

Something tells me
you shouldn't be
running around loose.

Forget it, forget it.
What I mean is,

maybe I didn't
give you a fair shake.

Let's make out
like nothing happened
and start all over, huh?

What do you got to lose?
You can always quit.

That's true.

All right.
Tell Mr. Rocco
I'll be there.

You go out that way.

That way? Thanks.

Relax, buster.
She's untouched.

Just make sure
you keep it clean.

(Jazz music playing)

Come on, patsy.
What's the matter?

You got something
on your mind?

Never mind
what's on her mind.
Keep playing!

Well, what happened?

She'll be back.

This makes 2 of US up
in broad daylight.
What's your excuse?

A problem.

If I didn't
have to work
Saturday night,

I could spend

a lovely,
long weekend
on a yacht.

But you do have to work,
so you have no problem.

Just testing,
boss.

1, 2, 3, 4,
testing.

Baby must have been
plenty sore, huh? I mean,
it took you so long.

It took me
5 minutes.

Well, where you been?
You knew I was waiting.

I didn't know
you were holding
your breath.

Ah.
What's
this Dolly got

that's
so special, roc?

She--she don't know
from nothing. It's cute.

You can't mean
from nothing.

From nothing.

That's going a little
too far, roc. She's
a hick, I'll Grant you,

but so are a lot
of farmers' daughters,
and you heard about them.

You know,
according to roc,

she has to be a Saint
because she went
to college.

She went to a girls'
college. She even went
to a girls' high school.

Check on where
she went to kindergarten
before you take any bets.

I'll take a bet
right now!

How do you
like that?!

Ma: Quiet!
If you want to debate,
hire a hall!

Oh, ma, they're not
bothering me!
Shut up!

I'll tell you what's
bothering you and what
isn't bothering you.

You're doing so much
for me, I'm surprised
you don't do this number.

You don't think
I could?

Men: Presto!

All right. Let's
take it back to
the last 2 bars

of the blues.
Come on.

(Piano playing)

Ok, hot shot. A half
a "G" Says baby's
what I think she is.

Roc, come on.
What you think she is,
there ain't any more.

How could you
recognize one?

You never met a dame
your whole life
wasn't a tramp.

Present company
excepted.

I should have said.

Anyway, there's no sense
betting because there's
no way to find out.

Ask her.

Why not?

Well, it wouldn't
be nice.

Yeah. We'd better
forget the whole thing.

Only you're not
so sure now, are you?

I raise the question,
you'd like to know.

I couldn't care less.

You know, roc...

I think we ought to
set that poor little
fella's mind at rest.

(Door opens)

Mr. Rocco.

It's nothing.
Just a little
memento.

They're beautiful.

Leon says
what do you want to eat?

Ask her.
She's in charge
of my stomach.

I have to eat
with some pals later,
so make it light--

spaghetti, something
on that order, huh?

Poached eggs
on toast, spinach,
and a baked apple.

Hey, you gonna?

Sure I'm gonna.
You heard her.

Baby, you're tough.

(Knock on door)

Roc, can the little girl
help me with a letter?

Well, sure. Why not?

A very personal letter.
Girl talk.

Ivy, the matter we were
discussing--let's
forget about it, huh?

Seeing as how
we didn't make a bet.

We were arguing
as to who pitched for
the Yankees last year.

Oh, that wasn't it, roc.

Did anyone
make first base--
that was the question.

But somebody always
makes first base.

I wouldn't say that.
There have been--
Ivy!

The eggs are
on their way.

And so are you,
roc, aren't you?

Yeah.

(Playing classical music)

How's that, Mr. Rocco?
Carnegie hall stuff!

Anytime you want to go,
don't bother giving notice!

All right. A joke.
I'm sorry.

What's up, paisan?
Somebody give you
a bellyache?

Do you know that bet
we almost made about baby?

I told Ivy the bet was off,
but, no, she's got to
find out for herself.

She's in there with her now
asking her who knows what.

(Laughs sarcastically)

What's so comical?
A young lady gets a job,

and all of a sudden,
she has to be pumped

about what is nobody's
business but her own.

(Door closes)

It's
a good thing

you didn't
take that bet,
Tony, baby.

That's right.
No hits,

no runs,
no errors.

My partner, the expert.

What was that you were
playing before, homer?
It's cute.

(Homer playing
classical music)

(Band playing when the saints
go marching in)

(Applause)

Wow. I thought
you were my old lady.

Would you like me
to do that for you?

Gee, would you?
Sure.

I can't find
anything.

Oh, that's the recipe
for the almond pie,
isn't it?

You recognized it.

I told Leon just
changing vanilla
to cinnamon

wasn't
enough difference.

It's for a contest.
You have to send in
a new recipe,

only I can't find
enough time

in the kitchen here
to make up anything.

Well, what about
during the day at home?

All we got's
a stinking hot plate.

That's why I want
to join the contest--
to win a stove like this.

Oh, boy. 4 burners,
2 ovens, and a spit.

The way other people want
diamonds, that's how
I want that stove.

Can't you just buy one?

Ma gets nervous if I even
stand near the hot plate.

She figures once I can cook,
then I'll get married,

so no more hoofing,
and then where is she?

Yeah, but if you
won it, would she
let you keep it?

Nobody sends back what
they got for nothing,
not even ma.

Only I'm not going to
have the problem
or the stove.

Wait a minute.

We make a terrific
carrot cake
in my family.

The recipe's never
been printed,

and I know my mother
wouldn't mind
if gave it to you.

You mean it?

I'll put it
under the blotter.
Pick it up later.

Patsy, what are you
doing here?

Your mother's
waiting for you
in the kitchen.

You know what
I ought to do to you?

Mr. Armotti,
the boy's hurt.

Not enough.
I should have let them
really fix him.

Get a wet towel
and some iodine.

Come here.
Sit down, will you?

(Coughs)

You know those busboys
across the way
are laying for you,

so why you go
looking for it, huh?

I just went out
to get a breath of air,

and right off the bat,
they start

the snake-charming stuff,
you know.

* ta da da da da
ta da da da-- *

all right.
All right.

But why?

His name's
Hussein Mohammed.

What can you expect
from kids?

They can't see him
without yelling,

"hey, Hussein,
where's your harem?"

if this dope would
only laugh at them.

But it isn't funny.

Well, what if they
broke your nose?
Would that be funny?

Oh, I don't care.
I wish I was dead.

Yeah, sure.
That'd fix everything.

Got the iodine?

Uh, peroxide.
It won't hurt
as much.

Ok.
Hussein, I think
your name is
beautiful.

In mecca, maybe,
but not in Brooklyn.

Life's tough enough.

But your father said
you could change it,
didn't he, brainless?

All you have to do
is pass algebra.

Yeah, if I pass algebra.
But even if I could
figure it out,

do you think
that rat of a teacher
will give me a break?

You want a lump
on the other side
of your face?

Ok. Come on.

Go lay down in one
of the dressing rooms.

I'm not too good
at algebra,

but I think
I might be able
to help him catch up.

Hey, would you
spend the time?

You'd have to make him
work with me, though.

Oh, don't worry.
I'll take care of that.

(Knock on door)

Yeah?

Thanks. I had to rap
with my nose.

Hi.

How come you're
eating in here?

Well, I've been
eating in here
every night for months.

Yeah. Well,
get finished, huh?

It's an office,
not a banquet hall.

Mad at me
because I wouldn't
give you the lowdown

on everyone last night?

No. You were right.
Unpleasant, but right.

Much better for me to
get to know them myself.

Well, while you're
getting to know them,

I think
I'll get to know you.

Why bother? As you said,
we're both tourists.

There's nothing we can
learn from each other.

(Telephone rings)

Uh, Mr. Rocco's office.

Waxie London?
I don't know whether
he's here or not,

but I'd be glad
to find out for you.

Who's calling, please?

Very well. Hold on.

He's at Rocco's table.

I know that, Mr. Devlin.

Excuse me.
I hate to break in
on Mr. Rocco's party,

but there's
a telephone call
for waxie London.

They wouldn't give
a name,

so I said I didn't
know if he was here
but that I'd find out.

Learn fast,
don't you?

Hey, do we cash a fat check
for Everett Skyler?

He's that dirty,
double-crossing--

watch
your language!

You think
you're home?

Huh?

Oh. I'm sorry.

Tell Skyler we're
short on dough.
Buy him a drink

and kiss him off,
ok?

I'll take
the phone call.

With waxie's luck,
it's probably
a parole officer.

You better see
what roc wants.
He's flagging you.

(Applause and cheering)

(Whistling)

Himey renwick,
Denny Flynn,
Joey lawfield,

and the guest of honor
waxie London.

He hasn't had
enough trouble. He's
going to open a club.

This is the little lady
I was telling you about.

Glad you know you,
honey.

You certainly
made a hit
with roc.

He's been getting
a swelled head.

Tell them how you like
working in the saloon.

I'm beginning to feel
perfectly at home.

Speaking of being home,
Mr. London,

you must be
feeling very happy...
After all this time.

Well, to tell you
the truth, I feel
kind of nervous.

Oh, well, of course you do.

You've had a total change
of environment.

It must be
very unsettling.

But don't you worry.
In a day or 2,

you'll probably find
that you've made
a wonderful adjustment

without even being aware
that you've made it.

I could listen
to this kid till
the cows come home!

What'd I tell you, huh?

Honey, if they don't
treat you right
around here,

just contact me.

You could always
find a spot
with old waxie.

How do you like that?
He's feeling better already.

All of a sudden,
he ain't nervous!

He's got himself
a tonic.

(Laughter)

A college broad.

(Door opens)

Tony says I should
walk you home.

Oh, that isn't necessary.

But I want to.

He told me
about the algebra.

Oh. Well, I'd love you
to walk me home.

I'd feel safer.

That's
the busiest stairway.

(Knocks)

Who lives up there,
Hussein?

Tony.

And here we have...
A praline pie.

Mrs. Stanley gretchma,
who, year in
and year out,

cooks 3 meals a day
for 6 people...

And loves it. Don't you,
Mrs. Gretchma?

They can keep
their typewriters,
high heels, and careers.

All I need to be happy
is a stove.

Ha ha ha! Thank you,
Mrs. Gretchma.

Good luck, praline pie.

And here we have
our lovely little
miss St. Clair.

Tell me, my dear,
are you enjoying
our contest?

Go away!

292, 293, 294,
295, 296...

Announcer: And now
Mrs. Gail inchley.

Woman:
That's right.

Mrs. Inchley
is concocting a--
let me see...

(Whispering)
Patsy. Psst.

It's a prune ship
on whip. Isn't it,
Mrs. Inchley?

Yes, and if I say so
myself, I could
make it 100 times.

It'll be great
100 times.

And believe me,
that's a candid,
unbiased opinion.

(Both laugh)

Thank you,
Mrs. Inchley.

You're welcome.

Could I speak
to miss St. Clair
for a second, please?

Yes, but remember,
no culinary advice.

Not an ounce.

Patsy!

Miss, what'll I do?
I think I'm going to faint.

No, you're not.
You haven't got time.

I haven't?

Patsy, I'm late for work.
I'll see you later.

You can't just
leave me here.

But you're all right
now that it's in.

What'll I do
till it's out?

Make friends
and influence judges.

I can't. Most of them
are women, and women
don't like me.

I like them,
but they don't like me.

What are you
talking about?
I like you, don't I?

Sure, but you're
kind of an oddball.

Baby, I know
it's chicken,
but if you go, I go.

I just haven't got
confidence.

You haven't got confidence
in my mother's carrot cake?

I'm crazy
about your mother's
carrot cake.

Then it's settled.
Fine. Bye.

Anne.

But listen, Mrs. Shea,

what has "You don't
approve of me" Got to do

with "Where
is my secretary?"

well, go knock on her door.

Maybe she come in,
and you didn't see her.
Maybe she's in the--

(door opens)

I'm awfully sorry.
You're awfully sorry?

You know
what I been through
the last 2 hours,

the places I called?

Couldn't you have
the common decency
to put a nickel

in the phone
or whatever it is
and give me a ring?

Well, couldn't you?

Mr. Rocco,
I said I was sorry.

I admit I was
a little inconsiderate,

but I can't see
why you're this angry.

Angry? Who's angry?

Did you think I was
bawling you out?

I--i was worried,
that's all.

Well, people are late
for work sometimes.

I know, but this town,
it's--it's different.

I mean, the things that
could happen and the--

well, you're here.
You're ok.

It's forgotten.

I won't ever be
late again, I promise.

Oh, baby, I don't care
what time you get here.

(Door opens)

Hussein asked the teacher
for a makeup test,
like you told him.

Did she give it
to him?

Brother, did she
give it to him.

You better come out
to the kitchen.

Is it all right
if I go, Mr. Rocco?

Well, I was
going to ask
your opinion about--

ah, nothing.
Go help the kid.

Hey, that does things
for you, roc,
that new suit.

Suit.

"what is the value of b

if the formula x equals
b doubled minus..."

sheesh!

Hussein, this teacher
does not like you.

Oh, it probably isn't
half as bad as it looks.

Man: Table 18,
2 lemon chops
and the special.

Why, the stinker,
the mean old stinker.

Hussein Mohammed
for the rest
of my life.

I just hope
it's a short one.

You couldn't
do it, huh?

It wouldn't
be nice?

Well, I'd be much
more ethical doing it

than she was giving it,
but I just don't remember
this much algebra.

In fact, I never knew
this much algebra.

Man: Order in
4 chicken cacciatores.

I wonder if there's
anybody I could ask.

It's no use. I have to
mail it in tonight.

On top of everything else,
she thought that I might
find a way to cheat.

If you don't cheat,
it'll be because
we can't find a way.

She's no dope.

Wait a minute.
There must be
a math major

amongst
our customers
or an engineer

or somebody
who could do this.

I'll just go up
to whoever looks
likely and ask.

No, no. Whoa. Wait.
Wait a minute.

They'll think you're
trying to pick them up.

I'll be tossing guys
out of here like yo-yos.

Man: Table 22,
2 prime ribs.

I'm not saying it's
a bad idea. It isn't
for you, that's all.

What we need is a dame
who can really--

friends and neighbors,
the time is right.

This could be
the night.

Now, that's
perfect casting. Ivy,
will you give US a lift?

If Hussein's ever
going to get a new name,

we got to find
a customer who can add
"X" And "Y" And get--

and get "Z," Like that.

I still think
I'm the one that
ought to do it.

Sweetie, we can't send a girl
to do a woman's work.

Come on, coach.
What are we waiting for?

The bar's crawling
with brains tonight.

Man: Order in 3 new Yorks,
one rare, 2 medium,
with French fries.

Second man: Louis,
throw me a head
of lettuce, will you?

Third man: Table 24,
2 beef stroganoffs.

Hey, that Tony--he gets
under your skin, huh?

It's just that
he's got some sort
of wrong idea about me.

I wish I could make him
see that I'm not--

now, wait, wait, baby.
You listen to me, huh?

You're young. You've got
your health. You're only
reasonably unhappy.

Now, you let
well enough alone, huh?

Man: Table 3,
3 filet mignons.

Second man: Order in
2 prime ribs rare,
both heavy on the juice.

Ziggy.

Mmm...

Ivy, what
you haven't got,
I don't want.

You know, Ziggy,
I wouldn't be surprised

if you were
the smartest man
in this room.

And from there,
where do we go?

Honey, what does "X"
Mean to you?

$50 a week alimony
forever.

At a moment
like this,

do you have to
mention my ex?

That low,
even I wouldn't stoop.

Ivy, where's patsy? She's
got to go on in 10 minutes,

and she isn't even
in the kitchen.

I'll bet Leon knows
where she is, though.

Well, I'll squeeze it
out of him.

Mr. Bernbaum...

Are all music critics
attractive, or just you?

Ivy, you are
like an entrance
with French horns.

Ha ha ha! That's
very sexy, Mr. Bernbaum,

but say something else.

Say something,
for instance, about "X."

Leon! I want to know
where's patsy!

Don't holler
in my kitchen.

Oh, Leon, please!
Tony will fire her
if she don't show up.

What?

Do you know where she is?

I don't know
where she is now.

What kind
of an answer is that,
you all-American genius?!

He told you
not to holler
in his kitchen!

Man: Order in
beef stroganoff,
a pair.

Second man:
2 beef stroganoff.

Oh, ray, how long
before patsy goes on?

Oh, in about 5 minutes.
Why, isn't she here yet?

No.

Wow. Well, I'll stall
as long as I can,
but you know Tony.

Yes. Oh!

Oh, Mr. Rocco, patsy's
at a cooking contest,

crystal's on the warpath,
I'm awfully involved,

and I don't think
she's going to make
the dinner show.

Well, that's
Tony's department.

You better go
tell him.

What are you
worrying about?
I'm here.

Yeah.

Why, that's a new suit,
isn't it?

Yeah. Do you like it?

You look wonderful,
just plain wonderful.

Thanks!

Announcer: Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.

Presenting
boy, boy, and a girl.

(Music playing)

Mr. Armotti,
there's something
I have to tell you.

In a minute.
I want to watch this.

Some customers we got.

Yeah. Some
math majors.
Yeah.

Isn't that
Mr. Hallerby?

I thought he was
never going to darken
our doors again.

That blowhard. 5 will
get you 10 he goofs.

You mean,
"X" Marks the spot?

That's very "X"-Ey,
sweetie,

but it's the wrong "X."

could you be
referring to
the algebraic "X"?

Forgive me, lover.
I'm about to find
the lost chord.

What's your name?

Oh, Bruce.
Bruce Cameron.

Oh, that's a lovely name,
a sophisticated name.

Tell me, brucey,

what are your plans
for tonight?

Well, I came in to see
a friend of mine.

Anne Leeds. She works
in the office here.

Little Annie? Really?
Well, that's too bad.

It isn't often
I get a chance to be
with a man like you,

but c'est la vie.

Well, i--i don't
have to see Annie.

Oh, that's good, brucey,
because I have a problem,

and I need someone...
Understanding.

Tell me about it.
Tell me about all
your problems.

Oh, I intend to.

Isn't that the teacher
from your school?

That's the math teacher
from my school.

Say, no lie?

If that doesn't
take the cake, huh?

Cake? Mr. Armotti,
I've got to talk
to you about patsy.

I want to talk to patsy
about patsy.

She's been like
a sleepwalker all week.

You know, it's getting
so the customers are
too polite to applaud.

They're afraid
they'll wake her up.

Where is she,
the kitchen?

No. She isn't here.

She goes on
in a minute.

She can't.

Then she's through.

Wait a minute.
Let me explain.

You know how I feel
about a performer
not showing

without an a-one,
first-class reason.

Maybe she doesn't feel good.
Maybe she's home,
laying in bed.

Watch your
language in
front of baby.

Maybe she got hit
by a truck.

Fine.
That's an a-one,
first-class reason.

How can you? She's
in a cooking contest.

I'll kill her.

A cooking contest?
You knew it all the time.

You bet I did.
I helped her.

The rest of you
have got to let her
live her own life.

She's telling me.

Why don't you
listen?

She didn't get
a college degree

for being
stupid,
you know?

All right,
you're so smart,

why don't you
do the strip?

Hey! I'd sooner put
my mother on.

I got to go tell
the orchestra.

(Fanfare)

(Playing swing music)

She's not
only here.
She's all here.

Even from
a distance,

you can tell
she's alive.

(Cheering)

* I'm a hustlin' news gal

* who's got the blues

* a-hustlin' the corner

* with the latest news

* so get your
latest, latest copy here *

* all the latest news
from far and near *

* sold a lot today
and that's a fact *

* the money's coming's in,
and my body is racked *

* please believe me,
it's no act *

* come over to my corner

* I'm really stacked

* get your
latest, latest copy here *

* get all the latest news
from far and near *

* here's an extra batch
you haven't seen *

* printed on the front page,
painted green *

* if you want some scandal,
know what I mean? *

* lift up the pages,
and, hmm, look between *

* extra, extra

* read all about it here

* she's got all
the latest news
from far and near *

* page one has
the headlines *

* 2 has got the news

* 3 gives you
all those political views *

* 4 has got divorces
down in the courts *

* 5, 6, and 7 has got
the latest in sports *

* 8 rates the movies,
9 rates the shows *

* 10--and the critics say

* go, gal, go!

* get the 5-star final
right off the rack *

* it's always got
the races on every track *

* the price is right,
so step up, Jack *

* if it's not
on the front page,
you'll find it on the back *

hey! Hey!
All right!

* get all the latest news

* from far and near

(cheering and applause)

The blue ribbon.
She won first prize.

Can she eat it?
Can she marry it?

You wouldn't have
fired her.

I wouldn't?

Well, listen...

If you're through
reading my tea leaves,

could you go back
to the office

in case, by mistake,
some business
should come up?

Certainly.
I was going to
congratulate patsy--

please. Not the haughty
Princess bit, not when
my head is splitting open.

Would you like me
to get you
an aspirin?

Nope. You can't help me
bake a cake, either,
or pass algebra

or get over a heartburn.

Just go
and congratulate patsy

as a favor
to the management.

It's a wet-type cake,
roc, the kind that--

baby!

Congratulations.

Roc says if I teach Leon
how to make the cake,

he'll put it
on the menu.

Get me.
If I teach Leon!

You want to catch a virus
with no clothes on?

Ma, I won some money
and a stove.

The money's
for you, but i--

you won it, you keep it.

All I care about
is the stove.

If it's all right
with roc,

can it stay
in my dressing room?

I know you wouldn't
want it in the flat.

You want it
in the flat.

Why didn't you have
the guts to say so?

And why didn't you
have the guts

to tell me you
wanted to go into
a cooking contest?

You'd have made
such a fuss.

So what?
It scares you?

You mean I can have it
in the flat?

Don't ask me.
Tell me.

Oh, ma!

And go change.

She has to live
her own life sometime,
doesn't she?

But first she's
got to learn
to tell me off.

Patsy is ok.

Not like you
when you was a kid,
but that's asking too much.

You should have seen her--
dynamite

and a knockout.

We go back a long ways,
US two, huh, crys?

What do they know?

Not that I don't
appreciate you giving
her that recipe,

mind you.

Uh, baby...

Do you really
like the suit?

I really love the suit.

You're not going to get
all of these, are you?

I can't make up
my mind which to--

let's weed them out.

3 weeks
in the place,

and nobody
can make a move

without you
right in the middle.

I'm in the middle of
too much, according
to Mr. Armotti.

You got
to understand
about Tony--

with the kind of
girls he's
used to and--

what's wrong
with that?

Too busy.

Yeah? You see,
when I first took
him under my wing,

like they say,
he was just
a young punk.

And at that
particular time,

I was having
a little trouble
with my wife.

She run out
on me. She--

try this one.

Oh. She's
a nice girl.

It was my fault
maybe. I don't know.

Anyways, it made me

what you might call
cynical awhile, sour.

I, uh, I liked her.

You got to talk
to somebody,

so I bent Tony's ear,
I guess.

"stay away from
the nice girls,"
I told him.

"they're poison.
Stick to dames
that know the score--

hello, thank you,
and good-bye."

he listened like
it was the Bible,

so ever since,
whenever he sees
a nice girl,

he gets nervous...
Naturally.

Because they're poison...

Naturally.

There. You
can go anywhere
in that outfit.

Why not? I'm going to
drop in on the club,

see what
the competition's doing.

What do you say
you come with me?

I can't. I've got to
see that Hussein's
test gets done.

Ask me another time,
will you?

Sure. But I may never
look this good again.

I'll wrap these
to go back.

What do you want
to do with that one?

I don't know about that.
Open it up and see
what you think.

You like it?
It's not too big?

Is it for me,
Mr. Rocco?

You really
shouldn't have done--

don't say
I shouldn't.
I felt like it.

It's beautiful.

Thank you.
Thank you very much.

They got them in
all different sizes.

If you
don't like it,
I can take it back.

You just try and take
this one away from me.

Roc, drop in
at the Latin quarter
first, will you?

They're trying out a new
novelty act in the bar.

I'd like to know
how it goes.

Ok, ok.

Baby, if you're
still here
when I get back,

I'll drive you home.

Is Bruce
doing the test?

Sure. That Ivy
doesn't waste any time.

Hello.

Yeah?

You were right
the first time.

Yeah?

Yeah?

(Tony chuckling)

You stinker.

Homer says
that Ivy has got to sing,

but Ivy says
that the brain's
getting restless.

You better come
hold his hand
while she's on.

She's not holding
any hands.

He'll have to be
satisfied with me.

Well, it's a nightclub,
isn't it?

Say, why can't we
play footsies like
everybody else?

Later, love.
After I sing.

Hi, boss. This is brucey,
and he's a doll.

We met.

He's going to solve
all my problems,
aren't you, brucey?

Get to work,
you sweet thing.

Where you going?

To the office
to see Annie--

little Annie
the snow maiden--

your secretary,
old man.

Come on, now.
Little Annie is busy.

And so are you,
aren't you, old man,
with all these problems.

Yes. But suddenly,
I don't see why.

Why should
a girl like Ivy
go to night school?

If she does go
to night school,

why should she
take algebra?

What difference
does it make?

When a friend needs money,
you don't ask him
what it's for, do you?

I certainly do.

And if it's for
something silly,

I don't give it
to him.

Why, brucey,
you're a heel.

That well may be,
little Caesar.

But I'm not doing
any more algebra.

If you want
to get out of here
in one piece, you will.

Use your head, buddy.

Come on.
That act went out
a century ago.

You don't say.

You think I
believe you'd pull
anything here?

Not here.

We're going to go
in the back room
for a little chat.

Listen,
you're kidding,

aren't you?

Let's go find out.
Come on.

Let's go find out.
Come on.

You're a sensible friend,
very sensible.

(Applause)

Ray: They like you, boys.

And now,
ladies and gentlemen,

the one and only Ivy corlane.

(Swing music playing)

* do do doo do do

* do do doo do do

* Sadie green--
the vamp of New Orleans *

man: Sing it, baby.

* has more beaus than
the Navy has marines *

* when she stops
to shake her hips *

* captain, captain,
sink your ship *

* when she starts
to vamp, "Oh, gosh!" *

* mama,
burn my mackintosh *

* since this vamping baby
came to town *

* she's turned everything
right upside-down *

* oh, boy,
full of speed *

* what she hasn't got
she doesn't need *

* what a queen--
Sadie green *

* the vamp of New Orleans

* do do doo do do

* Sadie green--
the vamp of New Orleans *

* has more beaus
than Boston has baked beans *

* when she starts to dance,
oh, gee *

* mama, pin a Rose on me

* she makes bald men
tear their hair *

* old or new,
don't let her rear *

* since this vamping baby
came to town *

* she's turned everything
right upside-down *

* oh, boy, what a catch

* she's got big brown eyes
and feet to match *

* what a queen--
Sadie green *

* the vamp of New Orleans

(cheering and applause)

(Whistles)

Well, hello.

Eggs Benedict.
Pretty fancy.

Yes, i'm
working my way

through
the gourmet cookbook.

I might be willing
to let you have
one egg Benedict.

Too rich
and too late.

Then how about
a movie and an early
supper tomorrow

before
you come to work?

I thought I was
too much like your
sister to take out.

The content is similar,
but the form is different.

We got 'em!
We got 'em all.

Hussein, let me
have a look.

There's a big room outside
with lots of tables.

And lots of smoke.

If you're so delicate,
go find yourself
another hash house,

or do you have
to be thrown out
of here?

I don't know what's come
into your life lately,

but what it's doing
to your disposition
is a crime.

It's my life, my club,
and my disposition.

How about tomorrow?

Uh, I'll let you know.

Well, we'd better
get started.

Copy them,
not too neatly,

and erase a little.

I don't want him
eating in here.

I can't very well
tell him not to.

He's one of
our best customers.

And I'd like to point out
that there's a house rule--

the help don't date
the customers.

The employers don't
date the help--
that's the rule.

You know anything
about the guy?

I know he's one of
your best friends.

If you had any sense,
that should be enough.

Finish with Hussein
and go home.

And from now on,
don't work past 11:00.

I've got a right
to some rest around here.

You shouldn't let
Tony upset you.

He's just trying to
watch out for you,
that's all.

Why me? Why not
Ivy, crystal, or patsy?

Because you're
the only--

you're the only
greenhorn

we got around.

Everybody
knows that.

What do you mean?
How does everybody
know that?

Tony told them.

Uh...finish.

Put it in an envelope
and mail it.

(Growling)

(Barking)

Yeah. Yeah, in a minute.

(Soft music playing)

What are you
doing here?

I'd like to talk to you
for a minute.

May I come in?

All right. Come on.

Ok. What's the beef?

There's no beef,

just something
I'd like to get
straightened out.

Well, I'm listening.

It's this
taking care of me
and protecting me.

I've suddenly
realized
why you do it.

It's very sweet,
but I wish
you'd stop it

because it really
isn't necessary.

That's your opinion, baby.

My name is
Anne Leeds.

You can call me
Anne, miss Leeds,
or "Hey, you,"

anything but baby.

I vote. The board
of education
lets me teach,

and when it comes
to knowing
my way around,

I'll match myself
against any dame
in the place.

(Knock on door)

Woman: Come on, Tony.
I'm raring to go.

I'm sorry.
I didn't realize...

Uh...i have
to call off--

woman: What do
you mean, call off?

You see,
I didn't know--

yeah, I know.
You mean, I came
all the way here--

I'll call you
tomorrow.

You do that. And don't
hold your breath until
I answer the phone.

You shouldn't
have done that.

You shouldn't
be here.

For heaven's sakes,
look--
wait, wait, wait.

(Turns music off)

I think I'm going
to need a drink.

I could use one myself.

I hate to disappoint you,
but it won't be my first.

Well, there's always one
you don't get to.

Would you sit down
a minute? Over here.

Look,
I can understand.

It's a pain
to have people act

as if you
didn't know how
to handle yourself.

I know.
But try to see it
from my angle.

You see, no matter
how sophisticated
you think you are,

you're still a...

Uh...

A greenhorn,
a nice girl.

Yeah, well, whatever
you want to call it,

it's a
responsibility.

But why is it
your responsibility?

You work for me.

Does that
make you my father?

If I was
your father,

you'd be back
in Massachusetts,
where you belong.

But I left Massachusetts
because I wanted
to meet new people

and make new friends,
live a little.

Not in my place.

Oh, really.

You seem
to think i'm

a museum piece to be
pressed between
the pages of a book

or pickled
in alcohol.

You're getting off
to a flying start.

Not on 2 drinks,
Mr. Armotti.

Maybe you're right
about me,

but let me
ask you one thing.

If I didn't handle
myself pretty well,

is it likely
that I'd still be

what you call
a nice girl?

It could be there was
nothing much to handle.

I don't want
to seem immodest,
but I can tell you,

as a matter of fact,
that I was the belle
of Newton, mass.

You had a lot
of experience
with guys, huh?

Naturally.

Not just with yokels?
Mm-mm.

They come in
all kinds
in Newton, mass.

All kinds, all types,
every known approach,

not that there are
as many approaches
as men like to think

and not that there are
as many types of men
as men like to think.

But no matter
how many types
there are,

you know how
to handle them all.

For the belle
of Newton, mass,
it's a cinch.

Yes, it's a cinch,

because up to now,

I've never met anybody
that I cared enough about.

Not necessary
to preserve some
special sort of status,

but I wouldn't expect
you to understand that.

I don't think
you're bright enough.

That's right.
I never went to
college like you.

Don't be so proud of it.

It might have broadened
that narrow mind of yours.

You live
like a Casanova

with a string of women
running up and down
the stairs,

but when somebody
tries to talk
to you truthfully,

you react like
an outraged prude.

Let me tell you something.

You're the museum piece,
not me.

Suppose you let me
ask a question.

What are you
doing here?

I told you.
I came up--

to straighten
me out,

to show me
you know your
way around. Why?

Why show me
anything?

You don't think
I'm very bright.

We don't speak
the same language.

I haven't read
any of those books,

and those
I do read, you
wouldn't spit on.

What do you want?

An amusing item
for the eggheads
back home,

a chapter headed,
"Interesting morons
I've known"?

Oh, no.
I think so.

And it's
fine with me.

But before I toss
you out of here--
and I'm going to--

there's something
I want to find out.

You've done
an awful lot
of big talking

about what you
can handle.

Well, let's see.

Why should Hussein
be the only one

who has
a test tonight?

Ok.

Ok. Now you
can beat it.

You see?

You see
what can happen?

Exactly what
I wanted to happen.

What are you
so afraid of?

Baby...baby, please,
do me a favor.

Put your coat on.

(Telephone rings)

(Ring)

(Ring)

Yeah.

Oh.

Oh, it's you, roc.

I, uh, I had, uh,
I fell asleep.

I had a headache,
so I turned in.

Who? Baby?

Uh, she, uh,
she left awhile ago.

Tony!
Shh!

She's not home yet.

Her landlord's
here--a fella
by the name of shea.

He and his missis
are worried
about her.

Now, where
do you--what?

Oh. It's ok.

She's spending
the night with
a girlfriend.

The wife and I have
the distinct impression

she don't know anybody
in New York that intimate.

Tony, Mr. Shea says
she don't know
anybody that good.

Patsy? Oh, sure.
It figures.

Patsy St. Clair.

Nice kid.
Works here.

She lives
with her mother--

a nice, quiet
old lady.

Well, I guess

a mother and her daughter
satisfies me.

It's ok, Tony.
Go back to the hay.

I'm going
to lock up and go.

I don't want you
to get the impression
we don't trust her.

You just have to look
at that girl and know
she's solid gold. But--

it's US you
don't trust.

Don't I know
and don't I feel
the same way.

Have a cigar,
Mr. Shea.

Thanks.

Let me call him up,

tell him that I came
up here on my own.

Believe me,
it would be better
to tell him

I lured you up here
with gumdrops.

He's got
a thing about you.

A what?

A case, a yen.
You know more words
than I do.

Find the right one
and fill it in.

That's ridiculous.
He's fond of me.

He may even have
a sort of fatherly
feeling towards me.

Have it
your own way.

Everything's ok.
He'll be gone
in a minute.

Yes, but Mr. Shea
will walk home slowly.

Then he'll tell
Mrs. Shea.

Then they'll have
a snack.

They'll still be up
when I get home,

and everything
will look very--

I fixed it up
all over, didn't I?

I think I'd better
stay right here.

No. Oh, no.

Come on,
none of that.

Hey, wait a minute.

Come on.

Crystal, Tony.

Can baby stay at
your place tonight?

Never mind why.

Can she
or can't she?

Thanks. Thanks.
You're a good guy.

She's a good guy,
that crystal.

Come on, come on.
Let's go.

Come on, up.

I never thought

I'd fall in love
with such a silly man.

The kitchen lights
are out.

Roc must have gone.

I'll go first.
If I signal, duck back.

Come on.

Hey. Baby.

(Whimpers)

The second floor
in the front--
apartment 2-b.

But I want to talk
to you a minute.

You said something
back there just
before we left.

I said that I loved you.

Because you
were plastered,

because 2 drinks
and you're
a gone goose.

I might
never have said it
without the drinks,

but it would have been
true all the same.

That doesn't make
any sense. You know
that, don't you?

I just know what I feel.

Then you better
know what I feel--

nothing.

I don't believe that.

Listen, baby,

I kissed
a good-looking girl.

It's happened
before,

and the chances
are pretty good
it'll happen again.

Don't read
anything else
into it

because there is
nothing else.

This is
the end of the line.

All right.

Don't worry about it.

Did you take her
to patsy's

to make the story good?

Yeah, yeah.
That's right.

You don't want
to listen,
do you, roc?

That's right.

Well, what are you
waiting for?

What am I supposed
to do, hit you?

You punk. I'm going
to teach you a lesson.

That's not why
you're doing this.
Don't kid yourself.

You're jealous,
that's all.

You'd like to
stake her out
for yourself.

What? A girl like that?

I never once thought...

But not you, no.

You couldn't
let her alone.

To you, it didn't matter
that she's...

You're wrong, roc.

All the years
I've known you,

you've never
been this wrong.

(Music playing)

Come and get 'em.

In order to have
a stove delivered
at 7 A.M.,

who did you have
to promise what?

(Chuckles)

(Door buzzes)

(Buzz)

Is she here--baby?

Asleep.
Have some coffee.

Well...

Well, look who's here
in time for flapjacks.

Shut up. Give him
the coffee and beat it.

Yeah.

Don't let
the pancakes get cold.

(Turns music off)

When he brought
her over, was
she all right?

When who brought
her over?

What kind of
a question is that?

Come on, crys.
You know what I mean.

Listen, Rocco,
I'm a girl,

an old girl,
mind you, but a girl
nonetheless.

There are
certain things
we don't tell guys.

You want to know
something? Ask her.

Ask me what, Mr. Rocco?

Well...nothing.

Remember, you're
the invited guest.

He's not.

Oh, you
brought my purse.
I left it in...

In the club.

No, I didn't.
I left it in
Tony's apartment.

He handed you
a line, didn't he?

He gave you
a lot of malarkey

about wanting
to talk to you.

Otherwise,
you wouldn't
have gone up there.

He tricked you,
didn't he?

No, Mr. Rocco.
I went there
by myself.

I wanted to see him.

How could you do
such a thing?

A girl like you...

There was nothing
wrong in my going
to his apartment

or in what happened
after I got there.

There wasn't?

No.

Then why did
he lie to me
over the phone?

Because he was as shocked
at my being there
as you are.

What did you
go up there for?
Why did you

have to go up there
and start
all this trouble?

I wanted to talk to him.

Why?

Because I love him.

No.

No, you don't.

You can't.

You don't understand
about Tony.

He's the kind of
a guy

who could wind up
in the clink easy

or driving a truck
or something.

You just think you
feel what you said.

All right,
I just think I do.

Well, I...

I came to return
your purse.

Listen, Tony,
I want to talk to you.

You listen.
I stood still
for a shellacking

because I figured
I owed you something
after 10 years,

but that paid me up.

If you ever raise
your voice
to me again,

let alone your
hand, I'll beat
your brains out.

(Telephone rings)

(Ring)

Yeah?

(Piano tuning)

I was wrong, Tony.

You got to admit
it looked bad,

but I should
have at least listened.

(Sternly)
So, I was wrong. I'm sorry.

What do you want me to do,

(softly)
Kill myself?

Enough already.
Knock off, will you?

You want a sour piano?
Have a sour piano.

Don't get on
your high horse
with me!

Go take some air!
Come back later!

You should live so long.

All right.

What can I do?
I'm a little on edge.

Say everything's ok,
maybe I'll feel better.

Everything isn't ok.

The girl's
got to go.

If she can't see
her way clear,

don't worry
about it. I'll go.

Get something
through your head.

Except she's
a wonderful girl,

baby doesn't
mean a thing to me.

I'm no educated man,
but I can add things up.

I know her age.
I know my age.

And this kind, I'm not,

which, if you'll
excuse me for
bringing it up,

Tony, you
should have known.

All right,
all right.

All right.
You're sorry.
I'm sorry.

It's a standoff.

Just remember,
it ain't personal.

Only you don't
want her to go.

And you do. Why?

Because she's
stuck on you?

If that's
a reason for canning,

we should can
half the chorus.

That isn't
the same thing.

Roc, maybe
nothing happened
last night,

but something
could have happened.

What do you think
I'm made of, glass?

Roc, this kind of
girl you can't
fool around with.

This kind of girl
you have to marry.

I'm not
getting married

until I'm too old
to do anything else.

It's not me,
not this boy.

And if she can't
read or write,
that's fine,

because I'm not
going to wind up

at concerts
and lectures.

I'm not going to
wind up in college
taking courses,

not me,
not this boy.

I'm putting it
on the line.

Either she goes
or I go.

She goes.

Who's going to
tell her, you or me?

Nobody has to tell her.

That was her back there
on the phone. She quit.

Ah, that makes it
easy on everybody.

Did she seem upset?

I wouldn't say
she was laughing.

She's better off.

This isn't
the place for her.

She don't meet
the right element here.

I never wanted
her here.

Then you
should be satisfied.

I'm satisfied.

"and then
queen Guinevere
said to Lancelot,

"sir knight, I give
thee my sleeve
that in the...

(Mispronounces)
Joosting..."

jousting.

Jousting.

"that in
the jousting,

you may be--"

ow!

Hey! Fight!
Fight!

Boys! Boys,
will you please stop?!

Sit down, all of you!

Everybody, sit down
immediately!

(Children yelling)

Shut up!

Everybody, sit down!

I'm in the wrong seat.

Me, too.

Get in the right one.
Don't make a production.

It's a pretty tough
racket you're in, baby.

They're usually
very good.

Do you want to wait?

Because we have to go on
with our reading lesson.

You mean these hoods
can read English?

Get out your books.
I want to hear.

Sammy, I think
you were reading.

Yes.

"sir knight,
I give thee my sleeve

"that in the...
(Mispronounces) Joosting--"

jousting--

"you may be my champion.

"and that day,
sir Lancelot did triumph

over all
who did joust against him."

thank you.
John, please.

"and this he did
for the queen's
sake,

"for he was ever
the champion
of ladies

and the old
and the weak."

that's the end
of the chapter.

A fine bunch of knights.

Ok, let's begin
with the joost.

I challenge all comers.

What's the matter?
You chicken?

You only fight with dames?

We didn't fight
with her.

Nobody done it
on purpose.

She nearly
got knocked on her--

on the floor,
didn't she?

I didn't hear
anybody say
they're sorry.

Well,
what's the matter,

you're too big
to say you're sorry?

Kids: I'm sorry.

That's better.

Listen, you guys,
I'm going to give it
to you straight.

If I ever
have to come back here,

I'm going to
take you on row by row
with one hand tied behind me.

You get it?

Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.

(Bell ringing)

You're glued? Beat it.

Baby, I came to...

I came to give you
your salary.

That's too much.

It's severance pay.

You're not entitled
to severance pay
when you quit.

We'd like you
to have it,
roc and me.

What are you
going to do now?

Oh, eat, sleep,

look for another job
probably. Why?

Baby, why don't
you go back
to Massachusetts?

It figures
if you stay here,

you're going
to get in some
kind of a jam--

it will be my jam,
won't it?

You just own the tonic,
you know, not me.

You don't
have to get sore.

I'm just trying
to talk to you
like a friend.

You're not succeeding.

Oh.

Bruce, did you
want to see me?

I thought we
might have some
lunch, but--

love it.

I want to talk
to you a minute.

Just hold on a second.
I want to talk
to her a minute.

When you're through
with your boss--

he's not
my boss,

and we have
nothing to say
to each other.

(Humming)

Hi.

* I passed it,
I passed it *

* the algebra test,
I passed it *

(all cheering)

What's your
new name
going to be?

You have to
pick one, you know.

Wait, wait, wait.
I got it.

X-minus-y cacciatore.

(Laughter)

How about Vanderbilt?
You can't go wrong
with that?

There's nothing
sexier than
John Smith ii.

Well.

Hussein:
I've got
a better one.

But there's
someone

that I have
to ask first
what they think.

(Music playing)

I passed
my algebra test.

Good boy! Good boy!

Where's baby?

She ain't here.

Is she sick
or something?

She don't work here
no more. She quit.

What do you mean?
What happened?

What happened?
Nothing happened.

She quit.
People quit
all the time.

What's
the big mystery?

Nobody in the kitchen
even mentioned it.

Why should
they mention it?

They're sorry.
I'm sorry.
Everybody's sorry.

What do you
want US to do,
close down the club?

Ah, forget it.

You make friends
with people,

it doesn't
necessarily give you
a life interest.

How did you make out
on the algebra?

I passed it.

Well, great.
You pick a new name?

Mr. Rocco, baby was
just crazy about it here.

She wouldn't have quit
for no reason.

Hussein, I had
a day that shouldn't
happen to a dog.

Don't aggravate
me, please.

You got questions
to ask, ask...Tony.

(Distant applause)

Man: Thank you, bubbles.

Next, patsy St. Clair
and a couple of...

(Music playing)

What happened to baby?

She quit.

Why?

Ask Rocco.

Well, he said to ask you.

Why did she quit?

What difference
does it make?

It's hard
to explain.

I feel too lousy
to try.

Why do you and Rocco
both feel lousy?

Rumor has it
you fired baby.

She quit.

Why?

(Mumbles)

Rumor also
has it you dated
her last night.

Could it be

that you were
foul enough
to make a pass?

Crystal.

Come here.

Been doing a
little talking,
crystal?

A little talking
and a lot of thinking

about whether I want
my little girl to remain
in this kind of rattrap

under
this kind of management,

in case you're interested.

I'm not.

Tonic club owner
Tony armotti,

when
queried about
the Boston babe,

made
the following
comments--

Ziggy, one word
in the column about
baby, just one word,

and you
won't know yourself.

I'm used

to the way
your bartender
makes martinis.

Otherwise, I'd spit
in your eye.

Did you pass
your algebra?

Yes, I passed algebra.

Yes, I picked
a new name--
Harry armotti.

It was going to be,

but if I am beginning
to think baby quit
is why she quit,

I wouldn't use
that name of yours
for a million bucks.

(Applause)

Man: That's all for now,
ladies and gentlemen.

It's dance time again.

Mike, another slug.

Say, Tony,
how come baby quit?

Roc wants
to talk to you.

I know it isn't
any of my business,

but I'm kind of curious
about why baby quit.

Eddie, please.
Don't ask.

If you know
what's good for
you, don't ask.

Tony, well, Tony,

I've been thinking
things over.

So have I.

I want to get away
for a while,
go on a trip maybe.

I haven't had
a day off
in 6 months.

What's to be
so surprised about?

What I wanted
to talk to you about
is I want to get away.

Oh.

What do you mean, oh?
I haven't had
a day off in 2 years.

Whose fault is that?
Every time I
try to make you go,

you give me a big
song and dance

about you get
the blues when
you're not here.

So, now I get the blues
when I am here.

(Whistles)

Hey. Hiya, counselor.
Come on in.

Oh.

You sure
it's all right?

Yeah. Why shouldn't
it be all right?

Last night,
it wasn't.

Oh, that.
That was last night.

I got to get out
of here, roc, honest.

(Telephone rings)

What?

Oh, hi, waxie.
How's tricks?

What? No,
she didn't steal nothing.

Hey, listen,
she didn't get fired.

She, uh, resigned.

Well, because of, uh,

for personal reasons,
you might say.

Believe me, you wouldn't
be making no mistake.

She's an a-one secretary
of the highest caliber,

and I can recommend her

with, well,
with the biggest recommendation.

It's a pleasure, wax.

Hey, wax?
Give her my regards, huh?

Well, that takes care of baby.
She's all set.

What do you mean,
she's all set?

Waxie London's
new place--
part-time secretary.

Just like here.

The guts of
that waxie London.

10 years with uncle
for grand larceny,

and he's worried,
is baby honest?

Are you
out of your mind?

Why did you let her
take such a job?

Why did I let her?
The girl's free.

She can work
where she wants.

You know why she went
over to waxie, don't you,

to show me,
to spite me.

That's crazy, Tony.
You're getting

one of them
persecution
complexes.

The girl needs
a job, that's all.

There are a million jobs
she could get.

The only experience
she has is
in nightclub work.

Do me a favor, will you?
Mind your own business.

Why should he mind
his own business?

Why don't you
stop minding
baby's business?

Do you know what
kind of a place it is?

It just opened up.
Nobody knows.

Everybody knows
waxie London, don't they?

A man can change,
can't he? What if
he's gone straight?

What are you
all of a sudden,
a judge?

Ahh.

I beg your pardon.

Gee, where are you going
in such a hurry, roc?

I'm going to get
drunk, that's
where I'm going.

But you'll get
heartburn.

It's better
than what I got.

Hey, Tony,
long time, no see.

Nick, I didn't know
you were out.

Sure. A couple
of days ago.

Through the office.
Through the office
and up the stairs.

Thanks, Nick.

Well, this is
a surprise.

You can tell me
all about it later.

Right now, you're
getting out of here.

I certainly am not.

Where's your coat?

That's Mr. London's
apartment.

Come on,
miss know it all,

miss take care
of yourself.

Where's your coat?
(Telephone rings)

Will you get
out of here before i--

waxie's torch.
Good evening.

No. Mr. London
isn't in the office
at the moment.

Would you care
to leave a message?

"watch out"?

Just "Watch out"?

Who is this, please?

All right, baby.
Come on.

Come on,
let's quit--

I can't seem to
make you understand
that I work here.

I like working here,
and I'm going to
go on working here.

It may be smaller
than the tonic,
but my salary is larger.

How come you're
worth so much?

Come on,
come on.

Tony, pal, I knew you'd
come to see old waxie.

If I say, it'll
be the brained
old waxie.

What do you mean
hiring a girl
like that?

I'm terribly
sorry about--

what do you mean,
what do I mean hiring
a girl like that?

She's looking
for a secretary job.
I got a secretary job.

Why shouldn't
we do business?

You tell her
what kind of
business?

What's that
got to do with her?

She sits in the office.
She answers the phone
in a nice voice.

And every once in a while,
she types a letter.

What's so terrible?

She sits and types
a letter to my mother.

A lovely letter,
Mr. London.

He hasn't got
a mother. She
passed away--

god rest
her soul--a good
10 years ago.

I don't understand.
Why would he want me
to keep on writing it?

He's got to have
something legit
for you to do,

doesn't he?

Because what he
hired you for is
window dressing,

window dressing
for a gambling
joint,

that's all.

That's a dirty lousy lie.
And what's it to you?

If you say
one more word,
so help me--

(crashing)

Shut up. Shut up.

(People talking excitedly)

What is it, Mr. London?
What's happening?

It don't pay to be honest.
That's what's happening.

(Women screaming)

(Whistle blowing)

Hey, boys,
I cheated
the cops.

Let's go.

Man: Get him.

Come on.

Man: All right, folks,
off the dance floor.

Nobody will get hurt...

Second man:
Get in that
private office.

Open up. Open up.

The washroom.
Through the washroom.

Sergeant,
let's get
this door open.

Hold this.

(Pounding)

Man: Try the
side door!

All right,
open this door!

Come on,
what are you waiting for?

Open up
in there!
Open up!

Down the street.

(Sirens)

You might as well
face it, baby,

you can't make
a move without
getting in trouble.

Still, in all,

if you don't
want to go back
to Massachusetts--

you don't--
that's up to you.

The only thing is I
can't keep traveling
all over the city

bailing you out.

So, you know
what I think?

I think you
ought to come back
to the tonic.

Ok, huh?

I'm telling you
for the last time,

I'm none
of your business.

Man: Hey, taxi!
Baby: Taxi!

Taxi.

Come here,
buddy.

Thanks, girlie.

This isn't your cab.

Shh. It is so.

No, this is my taxi,
isn't it, driver?

It's my taxi.
And in a minute,
I'm leaving with it.

Come on, honey. Act like
a lady, will you, please?

Move off, buddy. Off there.

Hey. What the--

out! Out!

Hey, what happened?
Somebody tripped
me or something.

Man: Ah, it must be
the wind.

You see what
I mean, baby?

You can't make
a move.

Ooh!

Listen, buddy,
will you follow me
down the street?

Yeah, sure, ok.

Ok?

Yeah.

* my poor heart
is sentimental *

* it's not made of wood

* I got it bad

* and that ain't good

* but when
the weekend rolls... *

hey, roc,

I've been thinking it
over about baby.

Taking everything
into consideration,

she'll be
better off here.

Yeah?

Yeah.

At least here,
everybody
appreciates her.

In my opinion,
you might be right.

Only thing is,
you were
kind of worried

about what
would happen
if she hung around,

you know,

with night school
and concerts
and lectures

and all like that.

Yeah. When it happens,
I'll worry about it.

In that case,
I'll hire her back.

I got no objections.

I did already.
She's in the office.

Fine. That saves me
the trouble.

Well, I'll
see you later.

Yeah.

(Applause)

Hey, Mike, a bottle
of champagne.

Is baby back?

Yeah.

* this could be the night

* this...

Where is she?!

She's in the back.

Hey, baby, it's true
what I hear, you're back?

Patsy: Yeah! Isn't
that wonderful?

I passed it.
I passed it. He got
every problem right.

Good for him.

I knew
she'd be back.

You should have seen
Tony's face

when I got through
telling him off.
He was white.

But you should have seen
Rocco when he got finished
eating my food tonight.

He was green.

Leon, you didn't.

I did, I did.

You should
have seen
his face.

(Laughter)

We just came in

to say
a little hello
to the baby.

What do you think I came in
for, to dictate a letter?

Hi.

Don't you
say hi to me,

not until you put on
your new suit.

Some bossy dame.

(Laughter)

College broad.

(Laughter)

Ivy: * ...And not take
our inning? *

* why should we fight it?

* there's
no chance of winning *

* and in this case,
the beat would be
oh, so, sweet *

* oh, the nights may come

* and the nights may go

* but tonight

* I know paradise
is in our sight *

* and this could be
the night *

* this could be the night

* this
the wondrous night *

* of love