All language subtitles for Spiderbabe 2003

This is the sound of falling leaves

This is the sound of losing me

Round and round, there's no in between

This is the song you hope to hear or sing

Sing down

This is the song you'll take from me

It's got everything that I hope you need

Seasons change like everything

Alright.

You know, you're even
prettier with these things off.

Go ahead, look.

Yeah, but then I can't see.

This is the sound of falling trees.

This is the sound of you losing me.

Round and round, there's no end between.

This is the song you hope to hear.

Never sing.

Matricia dear, you're gonna
be late for your science trip.

I'll be right down.

Good Morning.

Sorry, time to sit down and
have breakfast with you guys.

I'm really running late.

But dear, you're moving into
your apartment this weekend.

It's the last time to
enjoy my home cooking.

I'm only moving a mile away.

I mean, I can still come by and...

You can swing by any time.

Oh, thanks, you two.

You know, you really have been good to me.

It hasn't been easy since
Mom and Dad died, but...

You really have treated me
like a daughter you never had.

Thanks to Mr. Tight Pants over here.

But you can spend as much
time as you want with us, dear.

That's Lisa. I got a jet. Bye.

Bye.

Okay, the brat's gone.

Time to get into the gimp outfit.

Client's gonna be here in an hour.

Whoa, nice ride, Lisa.

Hey, thanks.

It was a little graduation
present from Lucinda.

It must have cost a lot.

Yeah, well, it's only money.

Yeah, I guess.

No, I didn't mean it that way.

I'm sorry.

No, I know what you mean.

Um, are you still cool about fronting
my half of the deposit for the apartment?

I'm going to get a job this weekend.

Of course I am.

You ready for school, roomie?

Ready, steady, go!

Sorry.

Pat the prude, Pat the prude.

Adam, why don't you grow
up and leave her alone, jerk?

Don't listen to that
bonehead. He's just a jerk.

Oh yeah, I don't care what that guy says.

Yo, my two favorite ladies.

Hey Mark, where are you been hiding?

Nowhere. I've just been
playing ball with the guys.

Get lost.

Yo Patricia, I was wondering maybe
if you could tutor me this afternoon.

This science jazz gets me a huge headache.

Okay.

So it's a date. I'll call you later.
Or just come over, whatever.

Or maybe I'll just have you right here.

Okay. Oh, okay.

Great. Ciao, ladies.

First to Patricia.

What?

I think we found a
candidate for Miss Prude.

No, no, no, no.

Mark Jeremy and I have
been friends since grade school.

And anyway, he wouldn't
be interested in me.

You won't know until you try.

Well, I guess I won't know then.

Hello, students. I'm Dr. D'Well.

I am a genetic scientist.

For several years now, I've
been trying to genetically engineer

a hybrid spider,

a specimen that contains all the elements

of several different species

all in one specimen.

Now, this hybrid species

that I'm going to show you today

has been subjected to several
different types of radiation

at several different levels.

And I'm here to tell you
that its powers and abilities

have been magnified fantastically.

Yes?

So, what would happen if
this spider, like, bit somebody?

Logically, they would turn
into a superhero and fight crime.

Um, has any of this radioactive exposure

had any side effects on the spider?

You know, like, negative side effects?

As a matter of fact, yes.

I would have to say that
the greatest side effect

is that he has become more,
uh, prone toward procreation.

More amorous.

Or, as you kids like to put it nowadays,

horny, baby!

Hey, Porker, you could use some of that.

Blah!

Great, thanks for
compromising my education.

I'm trying to learn something.

Miss Prude.

Okay, everybody, settle down.

Now, okay, at this point,

it gives me great pleasure
to introduce to you all

Specimen X.

Or, as I like to call him, Randy.

Motherfucker!

This is going to be my ass!

I-I-I-I'm afraid that the lecture

is going to have to be cut short today.

And if you would all kindly
leave the museum very slowly

and watch where you
walk for the sake of Christ,

because there's a spider
running around here, Luce.

That's worth more than
all of us put together.

Yeah!

Oh, wow!

Oh, no!

Oh, Jesus!

Oh, God, why?

Oh, no!

Take me instead!

Oh, no!

What would happen if
that thing bit somebody?

Bit somebody.

They would turn into a
superhero and fight crime.

Patricia dear, you're
home early. Are you okay?

No, I don't feel right. I'm going to bed.

Okay, sweetheart. What
are you looking at? Just leave.

Wow, Patricia.

I'd shag me.

Porker, Porker, Porker!

Pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft!

Poor Kirk!

Poor Kirk!

Hey!

Hey.

Hi.

Hey.

You shouldn't have left yesterday.

You missed the best part of the lecture.

The spider got loose.

Wow.

Did you get a makeover or something?

Yeah, something.

You look nice today.

I like your outfit.

Thanks.

Anyway, this is my sister.

Listen to not sis.

This is Patricia.

At last we meet.

I understand you're quite the science quiz.

Yeah, I guess.

Oh wow, I've heard so much
cool stuff about Knox Technologies.

I mean, really, really fascinating stuff.

I'd love to take a tour
of the place sometime.

I think I could arrange a guided tour.

Really?

Absolutely.

I've got to get going.

I'll see you tonight.

Great meeting you finally.

Likewise.

Wow.

Your sister is so cool.

Yeah.

So, why don't you tell me
what's going on with you?

Nothing.

I just felt like getting dressed up today.

Rent money, rent money.

High school janitor.

Some kid just pooped all over
the hamster cage in the science lab.

When you're done cleaning
that, go clean the teacher's shit.

Burp.

Oh, uh-oh.

Um...

Diner waitress?

Ten cents?

You tip me ten flippin' cents?

The soup was cold.

Nurse's assistant.

Mr. Johnson, it's time for
your high colonic treatment.

Thank you.

Blech!

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Oh wait!

A thousand dollars to
anyone who can stay in

the ring with the Queen
Bee for three minutes.

Yes, that's it!

But how do I disguise myself so nobody
knows that I have superhuman powers?

Oh, a disguise!

Uncle Flem, I know I was supposed
to help you paint the dungeon tonight,

but something really
important's come up, so...

Sorry.

Patricia, wait.

I think your uncle has
something to say to you.

Flem?

No.

I know.

Stay hard.

I know, Uncle Flynn.

No drugs. Use a condom.

I love you guys.

We love you too.

Now, go on, go.

Tina.

What are you sitting
there like an old fool for?

Hurry up, go follow her.

Go on, get!

And if you're going
into the city, stop by the

pink pussycat and get
me some Benoit balls.

The old ones are getting nasty.

Hurry up, you old fuck!

What did you say your name was again, kid?

Pussyweb.

That's ridiculous. What's your schtick?

Schtick?

Yeah, weren't you supposed to
be a bug or some shit like that?

Oh, I'm a spider.

You're a quite lovely one at that.

Ladies and gentlemen, our next contestant,

the lovely, the bodacious, Spider-Berry!

You sure you want to go
through with this, Pipsqueak?

I thought they threw ones
your size back in the pond.

Whatever, shouldn't you be out
pollinating a flower or something?

Let's get ready to BUMBLE!

Poor, poor, poor, poor.

I don't know, I don't know.

Oh yes, what a transformation.

This arachnid has definitely
turned into a philopis audex.

That's a hopping spider, you morons.

Yes, so does your mother.

An exciting start here
ladies and gentlemen.

This is what wrestling is all about.

Nipple pinch ladies and gentlemen.

Highly effective, highly erotic.

Don't forget there are peanuts
and snacks at the snack bar

courtesy of Jones Bar.

Making a turn for the worst here.

Holy shit!

It seems Spider-Babe has
her own special brand of

take-down and is moving
in for a pinch and squeeze.

Oh, yes, please!

Oh-ho-ho!

Come on, are you people
dead? Let's hear it! Come on!

Never wash these ropes again.

What is this masked woman?

Ladies and gentlemen, isn't this fantastic?

Nice, full-tongue, twizzling pile driving.

I know I'm hot.

When I want to cool down,
I'm off to Bob's Appliances,

where they have the largest
selection of air conditioners

in all of New York.

Bob's Appliances, 13th and Broadway.

We proudly sponsor this, our
hot, sweaty moment of the night.

One, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight, nine, 10.

The lovely, the bodacious Spider-Man!

Oh yeah, hey baby, you coming for me?

I know you want me right now, huh?

Is the promoter's office this way?

What, you looking for promotion?

I got a real big promotion
for you right here.

You know what I'm saying?

You're a disgusting creep.
Do not even talk to me.

Whoa, $1,500. I thought
I was only getting $1,000.

Yard and deck kid, I wouldn't
exactly call it wrestling,

but my booze sales went through the roof.

You're welcome back any time.

Why the hell didn't you stop
him? He just robbed the bar!

Oh, well why don't you go and
tell somebody who gives a crap?

Back it up.

Just a dead body.

Not like we've never
seen one of them before.

Back it up, ladies and gents.

What happened?

Oh, my God!

Uncle Flemm!

Hey, lady, hold on.

You're screwing up the crime scene here.

What happened?

Oh, some robber shot him.

He's hanging out at the
warehouse over there.

Oh, fucking kill him!

Hey, do me a favor.

Call the cop.

And we're out of donuts.

Oh, my God!

I was so selfish that I let this creep
get away. Now Uncle Phlegm is dead.

Too good? Fight evil!

Use condoms!

He was right, you know. With great
power does come great responsibility.

It is cool to stay in
school, and you should kick

the dog when you break
wind in a room full of

people. From now on I will only use
these powers for good. And to get laid.

But mostly for good. And to get laid.

♪ The Lord God is my God. ♪

So you mean to tell me that a
genetically engineered spider

that we spent millions on has been crushed
to death by a bunch of snot-nosed brats?

That's the short of it, yeah.

Do you have any idea what
that could do to our company?

If we don't show results soon,
we could lose military funding.

How's Project Greenskin coming?

We're at least a year away
from anything significant.

Bullshit!

You fucked the Arachnid program.

You find a test subject by week's end.

It's too dangerous. No one in
their right mind would volunteer.

Just make the arrangements.

What, Miss Knox?

Get out of my office.

Send in my overpaid eye candy, will ya?

You bet.

You wanted to see me, Miss Knox?

Be a lamb and undress.
What do you have? I, uh...

I need to alleviate a little tension here.

Darling, you should have made
Duel wear his nuts as a necklace.

I wanted to, believe me.

And you're in there having
sex with Sally when all you've

been thinking about is that
Patricia girl since you met her.

She's Lisa's best friend.

So? Lisa's a grown girl.

And don't you think she wonders
why sis never dates a man?

Leave me alone.

Leave you alone.

Darling, if I don't make you into the
woman you're supposed to be, who will?

Leave me alone.

You say that now, but you'll
be back, begging for my advice.

Sweet meat on bozo turf.

Listen, man.

I'm not looking for trouble, okay?

I'm just trying to get on the
subway so I can go home.

That's it, okay?

Hey, that's fine.

You can get on the subway
and you can go home.

After you've entertained
the troops, you know.

Hey, listen, listen.

I'm not trying to get on the subway.

I'm just trying to get on the subway.

You know.

Hey, listen, listen.

We'll even give you
subway fare if you play along.

Well, well, well.

I had no idea that the circus was in town.

Why don't you bozos hop into a
tiny car and leave the lady alone?

Hey, no one tells the bozos what
to do except me, you freaking bitch.

You know, you are really making
me long for the subtle art of mime.

Get her!

Fuck you!

Spider babe, you're my hero.

Hero.

How can I repay you?

♪♪

MJ?

Mark?

Patricia.

Patricia?

Wow, you look great.

You cut your hair or something?

Yeah, something.

Uh, what are you doing
coming out of that place?

Oh, I just ducked in to use the bathroom.

Hey, cowboy, you forgot your props.

You get here an hour early tomorrow,

old Widow Johnson booked
you for the champagne room.

Don't wear him out, kid.

He's gotta do a double shift tomorrow.

Heh, heh, heh, heh.

You work there.

Yeah. My sports scholarship was cancelled.

And my parents, well, you
know, they're not much help.

That's nothing to be ashamed of.

Beats digging ditches, right?

Yeah, I guess. I gotta go.

Good evening, gentlemen.

This boy's off the clock.

Why don't you give him a break?

Whoa!

You're that Spider-Babe
character I've heard about.

That's right, Mark.

Wait, how did you know my name?

Ah, ancient alter-ego secret.

So, they sure seem like a
couple of rough customers.

No, they're pretty much harmless.

Okay, tough guy, but they could have
sat on your face and suffocated you.

Thanks, I won't get wood now for
a week with that image in my head.

I don't know. Your wood
seems alright to me.

What are you, a superhero or something?

Hey.

Beats digging ditches.

See you later, sweet stuff.

Thanks for making dinner,
Aunt Mavie. It was good.

Yes. The grocery boy's been slipping
in some extra salami in my delivery.

Not to mention extra
zucchini and bananas, too.

What a sweet boy.

Aunt Maybe, can I borrow your camera?

Um...

Sure.

Is it ready?

Everything's prepared.

Wait a minute.

She's not the, uh, the subject, is she?

She's a confidant.

I'm the subject.

But Miss Knox, the ramifications!

Listen, you little prick.

You got me into this position,

and you will follow my instructions to a T,

or I will castrate you.

Duel?

Come here.

Miss Knox!

Don't ever call me that again.

Lucinda Knox is weak.

I am from Tillion,

and I'm about to show the world

just how strong I am.

Call maintenance to clean up Mr. Duell's...

accident.

Pity he fell and broke
his neck like that, isn't it?

Yes, it is.

Are you okay?

Can I get you anything?

A drink or something to eat, maybe?

A little spider would be nice.

Oh, come on, fellas.
Ski Master sold last year.

If you weren't criminals, the
fashion police would arrest you.

Fill it full of lead.

Do something!

Back off or I'll kill her!

Spider-baby, you saved my life.

Oh, well, it's the least I could do.

I'm a superhero.

I'm just doing my job.

Gotta go.

Spider-babe, wait.

Well, shucks.

Thanks.

Bye.

And then Spider-Babe came out of nowhere
and pushed me out of the way of the bus.

And then she said I had a nice ass.

I ain't heard that in a long time.

My name's Sofia. I am from
Warburton Avenue in Yonkers.

I'm the photographer and I've
been looking for Spider-Babe.

I would like to take pictures
of her. She's beautiful.

Am I gonna be on TV?

Make it fast, kid. I gotta slip
in another headline in an hour.

The name's Patricia Porker.

I'm Jay Josie Juman. I don't
have time to shake hands.

Oh, is that right? Well, I
think you'll find time for these.

Your photo's a spider babe.

That's right.

I'll take them all. A
hundred bucks a piece.

Sold.

All right. All right. A
hundred and fifty a piece.

Even better.

I'll give you two hundred bucks
a piece, and that's my final offer.

You've got a deal.

Stop the press. We have photos to
run with that spider babe headline.

You're running a spider babe headline?

Yeah. Spider babe. Pervert vigilante.
Worse than the criminals she busts.

What? Spider babe's done a lot of good.

What? Spider babe's done
a lot of good for this city.

Kid, with a nut like that running around,
it's only going to attract more nuts.

Spider babe's got to be
stopped for the good of decency.

And if the press won't do it, who will?

When is that damn air
conditioner man coming?

I'm sweating to death.

Seriously, dude.

I'm so hot, I'm starting
to see dead relatives.

There's no sense in staying
in these damn clothes.

Yeah, I hear that.

Wow, that was great.

It felt really good.

I gotta ask you something.

Shoot.

So, what does it mean now that we did this?

What does what mean?

Are we lesbians now?

I do still like guys, but I
really like what we just did.

Are we bisexual?

Hey, I'm trisexual.

We're just two really good friends
who made each other feel good.

No more, no less. No labels.

Just two really, really,
really good friends.

We interrupt this program with a newsflash.

There's been an explosion in downtown
New York at the Knox Technologies building.

Lucinda Knox, CEO, was
said to be inside the building.

Oh my god, my sister,
I gotta get over there.

You go, I'll meet you there.

Miss Knox?

Hello?

Can anyone hear me?

Miss Knox isn't in right now, but
I'd be more than happy to assist you.

In your demise.

You're pretty nimble, for a corpse.

Are you as strong as you are fast?

Well, you're about to find out, chuckles.

I don't know who the hell you are,

but you picked the
wrong bitch to mess with.

♪ All I want is a Christmas,
a Christmas, a Christmas ♪

Bitch.

♪ All I want is a Christmas,
a Christmas, a Christmas ♪

I'm Fenchillion and I'm
going to rid this sorry city

of Sager and rule this bird.

Yeah, whatever.

♪ Some days are Christmas,
some days are Christmas ♪

♪ Some days are Christmas,
some days are Christmas ♪

But are we really so
different, Spider-Payne?

I'm just gonna need a minute here.

I'm Jimmy Strong from NYC News.

We're going straight to Miss Knox
who's outside of Knox Technologies.

I had everything
under control and then

Spider-Babe shows up
and she nearly had me killed!

What?

I just wish that she
hadn't shown up at all.

What is she talking about?
She wasn't even there.

Really?

Even if she was, she could
have never survived that blast.

Something smells fishy.

And I'm gonna get to the bottom of it.

Or in between it.

Lisa, seriously, I'm fine.

Wow, Lucinda, I just saw you on television.

Yeah, that was recorded hours ago.

You okay? That looked
like quite an explosion.

Yeah, I'm fine.

Didn't look like anybody
could survive that blast.

Well, I did.

Really, seriously, you guys, I'm fine.

Where did you go? I thought
you were coming down.

I was there.

I couldn't find you in the crowd.

What happened to your arm?

Oh, nothing.

I caught some shrapnel from that explosion.

Ah. Poor baby.

Is it bad?

It's just a scratch.

I'm stuffed.

I put my head on a mantle.

Yeah, the food was really very good.

Thank you, Miss Knox.

Lucinda, and actually,
the food was really good.

The food is better than I can remember.

Must be that old rush with death thing.

I hear it can make everything better.

Food, sex.

Lisa, why don't you run
down to that ice cream parlor?

I don't know. I'm pretty stuffed.

Nonsense. There's
always room for ice cream.

And it's so hot.

Patricia, aren't you hot?

I can always do with a little dessert.

Okay, fine.

Chocolate all around, if memory serves.

Fine.

Sis!

Patricia!

Dude!

That's my sister!

It wasn't my idea!

She was all over me!

You saw what she was doing!

I am so pissed at you right now!

Does this mean we're not having sex later?

Yes, of course, but I am
so pissed at you right now!

Howdy, cowboy.

Ha ha, enough with the jokes.

Just busting.

So how you been?

Tired.

I don't know, but between work and classes,

I haven't slept much.

Mm, I know the feeling.

Hey, Mark, can I talk to you for a second?

Yeah, sure, I guess so.

OK, so Mark, you know,
I've had a crush on you

since grade school.

And it's silly for me to just
not come out and say it.

So there it is.

I want to see you, you
know, more than a friend.

Gee, Patricia, I care for you a lot.

A lot.

OK, here it comes.

But I kind of have a
thing for someone else.

Wow, I feel like a real jerk.

OK, so who's the lucky lady?

It's Spider Babe.

Spider Babe?

I don't know, when she
kissed me, it was magical.

It's crazy.

Was it anything like this?

No, not at all.

Gee, I have to go, okay? I'm late for work.

All right, see ya.

Yeah, see ya.

So, the Polka Brat is Spider-Man.

Um...

Yeah, yeah.

Um...

I guess that sort of
changes things, doesn't it?

Changes things?

Changes nothing!

Other than the fact
our job just got easier.

We now know Spider-Babe's identity.

We just need a plan.

Hello, Mark.

Hey, Spider-Babe.

You've been thinking about me.

Yeah? How'd you know?

Yeah, ancient alter ego secret.

I've been thinking about you too, Mark.

Really?

Listen, there's something I want to
tell you, but I'm not quite sure how.

I know.

You've been having boy
thoughts, and I've been having...

Spider-Babe thoughts.

So let's put those thoughts into
action and have a little bit of fun.

Spider-Babe style.

So, you can do anything
you want, but the mask stays.

I just need to kiss you again.

So then kiss me.

Okay, you've done what you wanted.

Now it's my turn.

Sally.

Lucinda.

Knox's assistant?

You got pictures of Spider-Babe?

How much?

One million!

I don't think I can get that much,
but we should definitely talk.

Where?

Knox Lab.

No.

Okay, go ahead.

Yeah.

Uh-huh.

Okay.

One hour.

You got it, I'll be there.

Alright.

These pictures are amazing!

But how did you get them?

I have my connections.

Apparently so.

But a million bucks? I
don't think I can raise that.

You know, the Bunkos only
give you a half a million dollars.

Really?

Yeah.

Well, I guess you better start working
off another half a million right now.

What's wrong with you?

Spider-Babe has done more good
for this city than the fucking mayor.

You listen, she's cute, but
she's a menace. Bottom line.

She has no authority.
She's not an officer of the law.

What she's doing is wrong and illegal.

Damn, JJJ, you know, you're pretty
cute when you're being pig-headed.

Okay.

Hold my calls and send some Chinese food
to be delivered in about a half an hour.

I'm gonna work up an
appetite on you, missy.

So, does that change your
position on Spider-Babe?

No.

The only thing that is gonna change
my position about Spider-Babe...

Alright, I'll see what I can do, kid.

Why don't we finish this up in about five
minutes? We got Chinese food coming.

I believe I know this young man.

Looks like Spider-Babe
knows him too, quite well.

Indeed.

Mark Jeremy Whetson.

Looks as though we have
a fly to attract our spider.

Now all we need is a plan.

Yes, a plan.

We could take the...

No, no, no, no, no.

Do you have any ideas?

Would it help if I stripped for you?

What's my paying you for?

Would that help?

Oh, we could drop two
melons on both of them.

We could stick a rabid beaver on them.

No, no, that's not good.

Oh, we could...

Oh, your...

Your ass is positively sublime.

Your ass is...

Oh, oh, we could ass...

Sassinate them, yes.

No, no, no, no.

Oh, we could drop ass...

Acid all over them.

And we could...

We could drop them into a bottomless pit.

Oh, no, no.

Got it!

Oh, bugger.

Yeah?

Take a load off, sweet cheeks.

Hey, what have you done to our stud muffin?

This city is full of freaks.

Toodles!

If Spider-Babe doesn't
show up soon, you'll all

become acquainted with
this boy inside and out.

Spider-Babe, please! Come help me!

She's gonna kill me!

Spider-Babe! Just in time!

Leave him alone, Flamptillion. Try
picking on somebody your own size.

You do seem an infinitely more
worthy opponent. Catch me if you can.

Oh, Spider-Vein, Judgment Day is upon you!

Cut it.

Lucinda Knox. I knew it.

Yes, it's me. The
sister of your best friend.

But why?

I don't know, really. I... I had
my period this month, and...

I guess I just sort of lost it.

I need help, and a good
pain reliever for cramps.

Well, you can get a
prescription for that stuff.

I heard that, yes, indeed. Please, help me.

Spider-Babe saves New York City!

You okay? No and I won't be okay
until spider-man pays for killing my sister

Okay, so my best friend's
sister is dead because of me

Police still want me

Daily Bunghole is still running
an anti-campaign against me

And I had to bail Aunt Maybe
out of jail on prostitution charges

Ah, yeah, life is good

Can't wait for the sequel