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Today on Tawny.
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00:00:20,687 --> 00:00:23,124
Ratcatcher has spent most of
his life in the sewers catching rats.
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00:00:23,148 --> 00:00:26,443
But the last thing he expected
to catch there was feelings.
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00:00:26,526 --> 00:00:28,611
Our exclusive interview
with Gotham's
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00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:31,239
controversial couple
right after this break.
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Wait, is he screwin' a rat?
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00:00:33,074 --> 00:00:34,074
Sick!
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00:00:36,828 --> 00:00:37,828
No!
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00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:39,247
Let me out!
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00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:42,417
Ah! Frank!
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Are you okay?
Maybe you should chill
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00:00:44,419 --> 00:00:45,962
on going that deep
into the Green.
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00:00:46,045 --> 00:00:47,940
You know, Swamp Thing did say
it's gonna take some time
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00:00:47,964 --> 00:00:49,632
for your body to get used to it.
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00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:51,694
I gotta assume, at some point,
your boobs will stop sweatin'.
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00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:53,052
I don't care how sick I get.
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00:00:53,136 --> 00:00:54,721
I have to find out
where Frank is.
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00:00:54,804 --> 00:00:56,139
Bruce Wayne's got him.
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00:00:56,222 --> 00:00:58,767
He... It's just too dark to see
where he is.
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00:00:58,850 --> 00:01:00,310
I mean, it's like all that money
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00:01:00,393 --> 00:01:01,787
and he can't buy a light bulb,
for Christ's sake.
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If only we knew someone
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who could help us draw him out.
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00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:06,775
Don't look at me.
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00:01:06,858 --> 00:01:07,984
We broke up.
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00:01:08,067 --> 00:01:09,486
Bruce is so clingy.
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00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:11,988
Even for an eccentric
billionaire, he's got baggage.
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00:01:12,071 --> 00:01:15,784
Workaholic, obsessed
with clean eating,
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00:01:15,867 --> 00:01:17,994
and, you know, those
major abandonment issues
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from seeing his parents
murdered as a child.
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Well, congrats
on freeing yourself
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from the chains of hetero hell.
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00:01:24,042 --> 00:01:25,853
But can't you just pretend
you want to see him?
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00:01:25,877 --> 00:01:27,855
You know, maybe lure him over
here and we'll handle the rest?
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00:01:27,879 --> 00:01:30,965
No. When I break up with
someone, I cut them off completely.
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He's determined to get me back.
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Won't stop
sending me gifts, flowers,
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this canary diamond
encrusted tiara.
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That is one sparkly meatball.
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00:01:40,767 --> 00:01:42,143
Oh, that looks
incredible on you.
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It's all right.
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Mm. He wants me to wear it
to a gala he's hosting tonight.
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It's a clunky name.
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Did your RSVP?
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I'm not going anywhere
near that mess.
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Didn't you hear my whole
no-communication thing?
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00:01:53,071 --> 00:01:54,864
- Yeah, Harls, pay attention.
- Okay.
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00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:57,259
My point is, if Bruce thinks
there's a chance you might come,
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he will definitely be there.
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00:01:58,535 --> 00:02:01,079
True, he is desperate to see me.
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00:02:02,455 --> 00:02:04,123
Ugh. That better not be
more flowers.
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00:02:04,207 --> 00:02:06,042
Okay. We're gonna go
to that gala,
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00:02:06,125 --> 00:02:08,044
grab Bruce, and we're going
to torture him
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00:02:08,127 --> 00:02:09,879
until he tells us where
Frank is.
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00:02:11,422 --> 00:02:12,841
No... Yeah, it's happening.
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00:02:12,924 --> 00:02:14,342
Or, I have an idea.
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00:02:14,425 --> 00:02:16,386
You'll stay here, rest,
read some mags,
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00:02:16,469 --> 00:02:19,389
hydrate, get your strength
back up to torture levels.
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00:02:19,472 --> 00:02:21,891
And I will go kidnap
Bruce Wayne.
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00:02:31,067 --> 00:02:33,695
- So, I know it's been a tough week.
- Mm.
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00:02:33,778 --> 00:02:36,072
Respectfully,
Selina's being a total B.
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Appreciate the solidarity, but
don't talk about her like that.
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00:02:38,533 --> 00:02:40,702
You know what always makes me
feel better?
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A hug.
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00:02:43,371 --> 00:02:44,473
But that's not really our thing,
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00:02:44,497 --> 00:02:47,375
so, how about focusing on work?
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00:02:47,458 --> 00:02:49,419
Are you looking at Selina's
Waynestagram stories?
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00:02:49,502 --> 00:02:50,545
She can tell If you are.
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00:02:50,628 --> 00:02:52,255
She can? I mean, I'm not.
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00:02:53,089 --> 00:02:54,173
Obviously.
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If no one else
has any new leads,
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I'd like to discuss
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00:02:57,927 --> 00:02:59,304
the CowNews Boy Boy Hat.
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00:02:59,387 --> 00:03:01,264
By now, I'm sure you've seen
the ads.
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00:03:01,347 --> 00:03:02,747
According to my source
at the docks,
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00:03:02,807 --> 00:03:04,726
there's a shipment
coming in tonight.
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00:03:04,809 --> 00:03:06,311
I'm thinking we intercept it
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00:03:06,394 --> 00:03:08,438
and see what's really going on
with these hats.
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00:03:08,521 --> 00:03:10,773
A new hat fad doesn't equal
criminal activity.
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00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:12,734
Lots of people wear hats.
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00:03:12,817 --> 00:03:14,444
Am I a criminal?
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00:03:14,527 --> 00:03:17,697
No, but you look like you're
ready to steal some kisses.
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00:03:17,780 --> 00:03:18,656
No? All right.
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00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:20,158
They're not just hats.
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00:03:20,241 --> 00:03:21,719
They've got a smart device
that can read your mind
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00:03:21,743 --> 00:03:23,745
and become your own
personal assistant.
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00:03:23,828 --> 00:03:26,164
- Cool.
- That doesn't sound fishy to you?
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00:03:26,247 --> 00:03:27,749
Hats and neurotech?
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00:03:27,832 --> 00:03:29,959
That can only be the work
of one man.
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00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:31,502
- Mad Hatter.
- Mad Hatter.
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00:03:31,586 --> 00:03:34,213
Impossible. I ran Mad Hatter
out of town years ago.
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00:03:34,297 --> 00:03:36,633
You're making connections
that just aren't there.
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00:03:36,716 --> 00:03:39,302
Now, if that's all,
I have a gala to get to.
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00:03:39,385 --> 00:03:40,470
Selina, it's Bruce.
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00:03:40,553 --> 00:03:41,971
Uh, Bruce Wayne, your boyfriend.
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00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:43,973
Ex-boyfriend, lover.
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00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:45,977
Hey, is this a two rolls
of duct tape kidnapping?
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00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:48,561
Harley, honey, I don't want you
to go alone, okay?
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00:03:48,645 --> 00:03:50,688
I'll be fine. Yes, each time
I go into the Green,
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00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:53,042
it feels like every one of
my cells is being ripped apart,
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00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:54,442
but maybe this tea will help.
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It's lemon ginger.
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00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:57,236
Oh, King Shark will come
with me.
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00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:58,613
What do you say, buddy?
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00:03:58,696 --> 00:04:00,323
You up for a classic
Shark-Ley adventure?
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00:04:00,406 --> 00:04:02,283
Kidnap a sad billionaire?
Huh? Huh?
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00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:03,826
Rain check.
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00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:05,954
I have to return home
due to the death of my father.
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00:04:06,037 --> 00:04:07,288
- Sorry, dude.
- Fucking fuck.
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00:04:07,372 --> 00:04:09,123
Thank you.
This is actually a relief.
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00:04:09,207 --> 00:04:12,335
He was a terrible shark
and an even worse man.
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00:04:12,418 --> 00:04:14,045
Oh, so... Congrats?
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00:04:14,128 --> 00:04:15,838
Not quite there yet.
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00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:18,508
The good news is I get to see
my little brother, Prince Shark.
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00:04:18,591 --> 00:04:19,676
I mean, we're pretty tight.
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00:04:19,759 --> 00:04:21,177
He's the brother I didn't eat.
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00:04:21,260 --> 00:04:23,554
So, does this mean you're like
an actual king now?
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No, Prince will be King
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00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:27,558
once I officially pass
on the position at the funeral.
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00:04:27,642 --> 00:04:30,228
We have confusing
traditions under the sea.
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00:04:33,231 --> 00:04:35,400
No worries, I'll just go with...
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Clayface!
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00:04:37,652 --> 00:04:38,569
Oh, ho, ho!
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00:04:38,653 --> 00:04:40,863
Clayface would love to, but...
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00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:43,700
Billy Bob Thornton
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is manning the dunk tank
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00:04:45,576 --> 00:04:49,163
at the glorious St. Louis Professional
Baseballer's Charity Circus.
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00:04:49,247 --> 00:04:52,250
Go, team! I'll look up the name
on the way...
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00:04:52,333 --> 00:04:54,168
Well, I should get going, too.
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00:04:54,252 --> 00:04:56,254
Have fun storming
the castle, Harley!
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00:04:56,337 --> 00:04:58,548
Okay, screw it,
I'm going with you.
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00:04:58,631 --> 00:05:00,383
I'm gonna... Oh, wow.
133
00:05:00,466 --> 00:05:03,678
Okay, no more going
into the Green for now.
134
00:05:03,761 --> 00:05:06,764
You've gotta rest.
I got this, NBD.
135
00:05:06,848 --> 00:05:08,488
Okay, Bruce Wayne is just
some dude, okay?
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00:05:08,516 --> 00:05:10,116
It's not like he's Superman
or something.
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00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:12,311
I know, it's just...
It's been a while
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00:05:12,395 --> 00:05:14,063
since you've done a job alone.
139
00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:17,025
She's trying to say that
you're extremely codependent.
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00:05:17,108 --> 00:05:19,402
For the love of nuts,
141
00:05:19,485 --> 00:05:21,154
- who is texting you?
- Ugh.
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00:05:21,237 --> 00:05:22,739
It's that nerd, Batgirl.
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00:05:22,822 --> 00:05:25,908
Since the escape room,
I've thrown her a couple LOLs
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00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:27,410
but she just keeps texting.
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00:05:27,493 --> 00:05:28,929
Babe, you don't
have to be defensive.
146
00:05:28,953 --> 00:05:31,080
It's sweet,
you like to take in strays.
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00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:32,749
Listen, I'm locked
and loaded, baby.
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00:05:32,832 --> 00:05:35,251
I got rope, double duct tape,
binoculars, glass cutter,
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00:05:35,334 --> 00:05:37,795
person cutter and a granola bar
in case I get peckish.
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00:05:37,879 --> 00:05:40,506
Now, call me if there are
any problems. Swearsies?
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00:05:40,590 --> 00:05:43,009
When has anything I've
attempted to do gone wrong?
152
00:05:43,092 --> 00:05:45,887
But... You're sick,
you save your energy.
153
00:05:45,970 --> 00:05:48,222
Listen, while I'm gone,
you take care of Ivy.
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00:05:48,306 --> 00:05:51,517
That means you sit with her,
you stream that lubed-up dildo
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00:05:51,601 --> 00:05:53,144
disguised as a TV show,
Bridger ton,
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00:05:53,227 --> 00:05:54,872
or whatever people
are horny for these days,
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00:05:54,896 --> 00:05:56,296
and make sure
she wants for nothing.
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00:05:56,355 --> 00:05:58,107
And why would I do that?
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00:05:58,191 --> 00:05:59,835
Because if you don't, when I
kidnap Bruce, I'm gonna tell him
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00:05:59,859 --> 00:06:01,778
you've been saying his name
in your sleep.
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00:06:01,861 --> 00:06:03,696
Be quick, will you?
162
00:06:03,780 --> 00:06:05,656
And try not to make a spectacle.
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00:06:05,740 --> 00:06:08,076
I don't need the hotel
tightening up security.
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00:06:08,159 --> 00:06:10,787
It's one of my favorite
places to steal from.
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00:06:10,870 --> 00:06:12,622
It's where I got my Picasso.
166
00:06:14,082 --> 00:06:16,002
Hey, Bruce! Bruce!
167
00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:18,878
Hey. Where's Selina
tonight, huh?
168
00:06:18,961 --> 00:06:19,962
Has she arrived yet?
169
00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:36,354
Hi-yah! Come here,
you little old...
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00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:44,320
Still takes her vitamins.
171
00:07:23,693 --> 00:07:26,612
Where are all the octopuses
and finned aquatic dignitaries?
172
00:07:26,696 --> 00:07:28,072
Shark ceremony only.
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00:07:28,156 --> 00:07:29,699
It was in Dad's will.
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00:07:29,782 --> 00:07:31,117
You know how he was.
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00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:32,869
A snob to the bitter end.
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00:07:32,952 --> 00:07:34,328
Your father was a great shark.
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00:07:34,412 --> 00:07:36,539
- So kind of you to say.
- Wasn't he?
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00:07:36,622 --> 00:07:39,834
Hey. That "great shark"
had relations with his wife.
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00:07:39,917 --> 00:07:41,043
And his sister.
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00:07:42,503 --> 00:07:44,755
Dad looks good on you,
by the way.
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00:07:44,839 --> 00:07:46,799
Thanks, man.
That means a lot.
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00:07:48,843 --> 00:07:50,720
We're gathered here today
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to coronate your new king
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00:07:53,097 --> 00:07:55,933
and celebrate the legacy
of King Daddy,
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00:07:56,017 --> 00:07:59,729
who most famously saved us
from our arch enemies,
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00:07:59,812 --> 00:08:01,731
the sinful Atlanteans.
187
00:08:01,814 --> 00:08:03,941
If they only knew,
during that battle,
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00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:07,320
Dad was turnt up
on bunk abalone venom.
189
00:08:07,403 --> 00:08:08,905
I'm glad you're here.
190
00:08:08,988 --> 00:08:10,156
Me too.
191
00:08:10,239 --> 00:08:13,576
Now, King Daddy's
firstborn son, Nanaue,
192
00:08:13,659 --> 00:08:15,536
and his brother Kamea
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00:08:15,620 --> 00:08:17,413
will join me at the altar
194
00:08:17,496 --> 00:08:20,041
for the official passing
of duty.
195
00:08:20,124 --> 00:08:22,501
Your father's royal scepter
196
00:08:22,585 --> 00:08:25,755
is only to be touched by kings.
197
00:08:26,505 --> 00:08:28,132
Whoo! Powerful.
198
00:08:29,008 --> 00:08:30,343
I kinda like it.
199
00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:34,305
Oh, I'm just kidding.
200
00:08:34,388 --> 00:08:37,391
Ah, the Prince is become King.
201
00:08:41,312 --> 00:08:43,481
Are you sure
you don't want to be king?
202
00:08:43,564 --> 00:08:45,733
You are the oldest.
It's your right.
203
00:08:45,816 --> 00:08:47,318
No, you deserve this.
204
00:08:47,401 --> 00:08:49,445
You stayed here and took care
of the kingdom
205
00:08:49,528 --> 00:08:50,446
and the family.
206
00:08:50,529 --> 00:08:52,156
Even for Dad's diaper stuff.
207
00:09:04,043 --> 00:09:06,837
Yeah, man. Soon enough,
the kingdom will be no more
208
00:09:06,921 --> 00:09:09,090
and I'll be free
of all this bullshit.
209
00:09:09,173 --> 00:09:10,341
I am psyched.
210
00:09:10,424 --> 00:09:11,634
Totally. Yeah.
211
00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:13,636
I mean, wait. What?
212
00:09:22,478 --> 00:09:24,647
Oh, damn. That was
actually beautiful.
213
00:09:30,319 --> 00:09:31,487
Freeze, scumbag!
214
00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:35,616
Oh. Hey, girl. 'Sup?
215
00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:37,535
Harley? What the hell?
216
00:09:37,618 --> 00:09:40,037
I thought you were just
staying in tonight.
217
00:09:40,121 --> 00:09:41,330
Eh. Changed my mind.
218
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:42,665
Are you stalking me?
219
00:09:42,748 --> 00:09:43,666
Ugh, as if.
220
00:09:43,749 --> 00:09:45,126
I'm working gala security.
221
00:09:45,209 --> 00:09:46,335
Cool story. Outta my way.
222
00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:47,619
Not unless you have an invite.
223
00:09:47,670 --> 00:09:48,670
Ugh.
224
00:09:50,756 --> 00:09:51,756
Ow.
225
00:09:52,842 --> 00:09:54,051
God, you are so clingy.
226
00:09:55,511 --> 00:09:56,929
I don't want to fight you.
227
00:09:57,013 --> 00:09:57,847
Oh, you don't?
228
00:09:57,930 --> 00:09:59,056
Of course not.
229
00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:00,266
We're friends.
230
00:10:00,349 --> 00:10:01,349
Ow.
231
00:10:02,685 --> 00:10:04,854
Hey, how's my prickly
little pear feeling?
232
00:10:04,937 --> 00:10:05,980
Do you miss me?
233
00:10:06,063 --> 00:10:07,523
Did you take my tiara?
234
00:10:07,606 --> 00:10:09,567
Screw your tiara. How's Ivy?
235
00:10:09,650 --> 00:10:10,651
She's fine.
236
00:10:17,241 --> 00:10:18,451
Ugh. Gotta go.
237
00:10:20,953 --> 00:10:23,289
So you do answer your phone.
238
00:10:25,541 --> 00:10:27,126
Ow! Shit, that hurts.
239
00:10:27,209 --> 00:10:28,878
Did I do something wrong?
240
00:10:28,961 --> 00:10:30,629
I thought we were
becoming friends.
241
00:10:30,713 --> 00:10:32,548
I have enough friends!
242
00:10:32,631 --> 00:10:37,261
Oh, really? Let's see,
there's Ivy... end of list!
243
00:10:37,345 --> 00:10:39,680
Oh! So the kitty
does have claws.
244
00:10:39,764 --> 00:10:41,766
I knew you weren't as
"I'm so innocent,
245
00:10:41,849 --> 00:10:44,518
I follow the rules.
I'm Gotham's hall monitor"
246
00:10:44,602 --> 00:10:45,811
as you pretend to be.
247
00:10:47,146 --> 00:10:51,067
I don't sound like that,
you stupid... clown!
248
00:10:51,150 --> 00:10:53,069
Oh! Good one.
249
00:10:53,152 --> 00:10:55,404
You know what? Maybe I
do want people to like me,
250
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:57,782
but at least I'm honest
about who I am.
251
00:10:57,865 --> 00:11:01,035
You want a merit badge for
admittin' you're a fuckin' dork?
252
00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:04,663
Maybe take the next one.
253
00:11:07,875 --> 00:11:09,877
Can you please get the next...
What the...
254
00:11:11,045 --> 00:11:12,189
Ugh!
255
00:11:15,257 --> 00:11:17,301
I miss these heart-to-hearts.
256
00:11:17,385 --> 00:11:19,470
Yeah, me too.
257
00:11:19,553 --> 00:11:21,764
Hey, while we're chatting,
sipping 'gria,
258
00:11:21,847 --> 00:11:23,766
can we circle back
to that thing you said
259
00:11:23,849 --> 00:11:25,309
about "the kingdom
will be no more?"
260
00:11:25,393 --> 00:11:27,937
Oh, yeah, that.
I mean, I'm selling it.
261
00:11:28,020 --> 00:11:29,939
An offer came in.
The numbers are right.
262
00:11:30,022 --> 00:11:31,023
Gonna cash out.
263
00:11:31,107 --> 00:11:33,275
Focus on me for a change.
264
00:11:33,359 --> 00:11:35,486
Ah, maybe do
some print modeling work.
265
00:11:35,569 --> 00:11:36,695
Well, who's the buyer?
266
00:11:36,779 --> 00:11:39,365
Would you believe
it's Ocean Master?
267
00:11:39,448 --> 00:11:40,783
Isn't that a trip?
268
00:11:40,866 --> 00:11:42,743
Look, I know
I'm coming to this late,
269
00:11:42,827 --> 00:11:45,538
so no disrespect,
but Ocean Master is,
270
00:11:45,621 --> 00:11:47,123
like, a longstanding enemy
271
00:11:47,206 --> 00:11:49,083
who famously hates
the shark kingdom.
272
00:11:49,166 --> 00:11:50,709
Well, his money spends as good
273
00:11:50,793 --> 00:11:53,963
as the next guy-slash-fish-
slash-bivalve.
274
00:11:54,046 --> 00:11:55,631
Did you run this by anyone?
275
00:11:55,714 --> 00:11:57,967
Nope. That's the great thing
about being a king,
276
00:11:58,050 --> 00:11:59,760
I don't have to answer
to no one.
277
00:11:59,844 --> 00:12:01,637
He's going to
develop an outlet mall
278
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:03,764
and a multiplex theater,
food court.
279
00:12:03,848 --> 00:12:05,266
Hey, what's "fast casual?"
280
00:12:05,349 --> 00:12:06,809
'Cause he said that a lot.
281
00:12:06,892 --> 00:12:08,144
Have you considered
282
00:12:08,227 --> 00:12:11,480
maybe not selling
our ancestral homeland?
283
00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:13,774
"Our"? Oh, oh, that's rich.
284
00:12:13,858 --> 00:12:15,151
Now Dad's dead,
285
00:12:15,234 --> 00:12:16,986
you show up swinging
your double dick around
286
00:12:17,069 --> 00:12:18,154
like you have a say.
287
00:12:18,237 --> 00:12:19,905
You chose to go live on land
288
00:12:19,989 --> 00:12:22,158
and I was stuck here
to deal with Dad.
289
00:12:22,241 --> 00:12:26,036
I had to be the good son,
the one who followed the rules,
290
00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:28,038
the one dealing
with those diapers, ugh!
291
00:12:28,122 --> 00:12:31,250
And you know
we all just shit in the water.
292
00:12:31,333 --> 00:12:33,836
So if you got to wear
a diaper down here,
293
00:12:33,919 --> 00:12:35,379
you know things are messed up.
294
00:12:35,463 --> 00:12:37,399
You're right. I should have
been here to help more.
295
00:12:37,423 --> 00:12:39,008
Yeah, well, you weren't.
296
00:12:39,091 --> 00:12:40,968
But now it's my time
to be selfish.
297
00:12:41,051 --> 00:12:42,720
And if you have a problem,
298
00:12:42,803 --> 00:12:45,764
why don't you do
what you're good at and leave?
299
00:12:49,643 --> 00:12:50,853
Where are we?
300
00:12:50,936 --> 00:12:53,606
Oh, God! Is this
immersive theater? Ugh!
301
00:12:53,689 --> 00:12:55,816
We demand to know
who you're working for!
302
00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:59,445
The name's Tetch. Jervis Tetch.
303
00:12:59,528 --> 00:13:01,906
More lamely known as
the Mad Hatter.
304
00:13:01,989 --> 00:13:04,700
Well, I didn't take you
for a "mad hater,"
305
00:13:04,783 --> 00:13:07,369
considering how much you've
been snooping around my shipments.
306
00:13:07,453 --> 00:13:09,288
You won't get away with this.
307
00:13:09,371 --> 00:13:11,933
It's only a matter of time until
people know the truth about your hats.
308
00:13:11,957 --> 00:13:14,126
Wait, so you're the guy
behind those weird hats?
309
00:13:14,210 --> 00:13:15,878
They aren't "weird hats"!
310
00:13:15,961 --> 00:13:19,590
You see, there's a reason
for the unconventional design.
311
00:13:19,673 --> 00:13:20,883
The newsboy brim
312
00:13:20,966 --> 00:13:23,260
focuses the mind control
of the frontal lobe,
313
00:13:23,344 --> 00:13:25,846
while the cowboy crown
provides ample room
314
00:13:25,930 --> 00:13:27,556
for the processor
and transmitter.
315
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:30,809
And soon,
I will have an army of puppets!
316
00:13:32,561 --> 00:13:34,772
You fooled around with my plans,
317
00:13:34,855 --> 00:13:38,108
and now I'm going to fool
around with you!
318
00:13:38,192 --> 00:13:41,362
Ugh! Great! Like we need another
run-of-the-mill perv in Gotham.
319
00:13:41,445 --> 00:13:42,613
I'm not a perv.
320
00:13:42,696 --> 00:13:44,073
I... I torture and murder.
321
00:13:44,156 --> 00:13:45,533
Nothing gross. Is it the hat?
322
00:13:45,616 --> 00:13:46,784
It's the hat, isn't it?
323
00:13:50,829 --> 00:13:52,081
Ew!
324
00:13:52,164 --> 00:13:53,999
Oh, okay,
so now you have a problem
325
00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:56,001
with my incredibly long
pinky nail.
326
00:13:56,085 --> 00:13:58,605
Look, I don't have time to list
all the reasons why you're pervy.
327
00:13:58,629 --> 00:13:59,731
So I'll leave ya
to your business
328
00:13:59,755 --> 00:14:01,006
and just be on my merry way.
329
00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:02,591
What you two aren't together?
330
00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:04,885
Us? She wishes.
She screwed up my plans too.
331
00:14:04,969 --> 00:14:07,179
Oh, well, now,
you seemed like friends.
332
00:14:09,390 --> 00:14:10,432
Nope. Nope. Nope.
333
00:14:10,516 --> 00:14:12,893
I am not like her!
334
00:14:12,977 --> 00:14:16,230
I am like you. In the...
In the broadest of senses.
335
00:14:16,313 --> 00:14:18,023
I am Harley Quinn.
336
00:14:18,107 --> 00:14:19,567
The Harley Quinn?
337
00:14:19,650 --> 00:14:21,360
Get the heck out of here!
338
00:14:21,443 --> 00:14:24,321
I should have recognized
that beautiful hair.
339
00:14:25,823 --> 00:14:27,700
Okay, it wasn't pervy,
340
00:14:27,783 --> 00:14:30,578
but I could see
how it would seem pervy.
341
00:14:30,661 --> 00:14:32,663
Rabbits, rabbits,
untie this one.
342
00:14:33,539 --> 00:14:35,124
'Kay. Cool. Great.
343
00:14:35,207 --> 00:14:36,625
Harley!
344
00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:38,812
You're just gonna, like, mind
control her for a bit, right?
345
00:14:38,836 --> 00:14:40,355
Have her do your evil bidding
or something?
346
00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:43,048
I was actually thinking
more along the lines
347
00:14:43,132 --> 00:14:45,050
of Chapter 6 of
Through the Looking Glass.
348
00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:48,137
- That's the one where...
- I haven't seen the movie yet.
349
00:14:49,388 --> 00:14:52,057
Uh, just text me later?
350
00:14:52,141 --> 00:14:53,141
Huh?
351
00:15:02,234 --> 00:15:03,944
Guilt makes you look very old.
352
00:15:04,028 --> 00:15:05,988
I look great,
and I am in a hurry, okay?
353
00:15:06,071 --> 00:15:07,489
I have to kidnap Bruce Wayne.
354
00:15:07,573 --> 00:15:09,325
For our girlfriend.
355
00:15:09,408 --> 00:15:11,827
It doesn't matter
how many times you push it,
356
00:15:11,910 --> 00:15:13,329
it won't go any faster.
357
00:15:13,412 --> 00:15:15,623
Ugh! Leave it to Batgirl
to make a simple kidnappin'
358
00:15:15,706 --> 00:15:17,166
so much harder
than it needs to be!
359
00:15:17,249 --> 00:15:19,001
So does she deserve
to be tortured
360
00:15:19,084 --> 00:15:21,211
by a creepy asshole like Jervis?
361
00:15:21,295 --> 00:15:22,379
Yes!
362
00:15:22,463 --> 00:15:23,922
Maybe? Ugh. I don't know.
363
00:15:24,006 --> 00:15:26,008
And who names
their kid Jervis anyway?
364
00:15:26,091 --> 00:15:27,384
- Right?
- Jervis.
365
00:15:27,468 --> 00:15:28,677
Jervis.
366
00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:30,554
Would it be so bad
to help Batgirl out?
367
00:15:30,638 --> 00:15:33,432
She's a member
of the Bat Family.
368
00:15:33,515 --> 00:15:35,285
Hello? I shouldn't have to
explain this to you!
369
00:15:35,309 --> 00:15:38,687
All right, jeez. All I'm saying
is it would be a lot easier
370
00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:40,522
if she had a friend there
to help her.
371
00:15:40,606 --> 00:15:41,940
I am not her friend!
372
00:15:42,024 --> 00:15:44,193
Who are you trying to convince?
373
00:15:44,276 --> 00:15:46,236
I should go back there, huh?
374
00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:47,863
I'm not telling you what to do.
375
00:15:47,946 --> 00:15:50,032
I am simply talking it through
with you.
376
00:15:50,115 --> 00:15:51,700
Helping you track your feelings.
377
00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:53,424
You know, this is why
people hate therapy.
378
00:15:55,412 --> 00:15:57,873
Let's get this show on the road.
379
00:15:57,956 --> 00:15:59,750
Just sign pages two, three
and nine.
380
00:15:59,833 --> 00:16:01,919
The lawyers will do the rest.
381
00:16:02,002 --> 00:16:04,046
Limited edish.
Feather-bound tip.
382
00:16:04,129 --> 00:16:05,964
Platinum-embossed barrel.
383
00:16:06,048 --> 00:16:07,299
She drives real nice.
384
00:16:07,383 --> 00:16:08,842
Damn!
385
00:16:08,926 --> 00:16:10,945
I might have to get myself
one of these after this deal.
386
00:16:10,969 --> 00:16:13,097
I like where your head's at.
387
00:16:15,224 --> 00:16:17,893
God. The hell?
Should I call security?
388
00:16:17,976 --> 00:16:19,937
No, it's just
my dumb-ass brother.
389
00:16:20,020 --> 00:16:23,565
I get it.
My brother's a dick too.
390
00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:25,526
- It's Aquaman.
- Yeah, I know.
391
00:16:25,609 --> 00:16:27,403
Total dick.
392
00:16:27,486 --> 00:16:30,173
There's a
door, like, three feet away from you.
393
00:16:30,197 --> 00:16:31,573
Why are you always so dramatic?
394
00:16:31,657 --> 00:16:32,908
You can't sell!
395
00:16:32,991 --> 00:16:34,618
This kingdom has been
our family home
396
00:16:34,702 --> 00:16:36,537
for thousands of years.
397
00:16:36,620 --> 00:16:39,220
Oh, wait, hold on a minute. We
talkin' shark years or human years?
398
00:16:39,581 --> 00:16:40,874
Hah! Just doing the math.
399
00:16:40,958 --> 00:16:42,459
Sure, the kingdom has drawbacks,
400
00:16:42,543 --> 00:16:43,919
but think about the good times.
401
00:16:44,002 --> 00:16:46,296
Think about all the hijinks,
the games,
402
00:16:46,380 --> 00:16:48,465
the blood-crazed
feeding frenzies.
403
00:16:48,549 --> 00:16:50,426
We'll always have
those memories.
404
00:16:50,509 --> 00:16:52,511
Sharks don't get
Alzheimer's, baby!
405
00:16:52,594 --> 00:16:54,864
I mean, that's actually the only
thing they got right in Deep Blue Sea.
406
00:16:54,888 --> 00:16:57,599
I don't get why they deviated
so much from the novel.
407
00:16:57,683 --> 00:16:59,435
Wait, stop. I know
what you're doing
408
00:16:59,518 --> 00:17:00,728
and it won't work.
409
00:17:00,811 --> 00:17:02,438
I am selling
and I'm moving up-current.
410
00:17:02,521 --> 00:17:04,356
Now, fuck off back to land.
411
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:06,233
Now, I can't let this sale
go through.
412
00:17:06,316 --> 00:17:09,069
And how do you plan to stop it?
413
00:17:12,197 --> 00:17:13,782
I just need your signature,
414
00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:15,075
and one initial here before...
415
00:17:17,536 --> 00:17:20,289
This evening's entertainment!
416
00:17:20,372 --> 00:17:22,624
Each of you
has a cup filled with tea,
417
00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:24,585
but some of you,
or maybe all of you,
418
00:17:24,668 --> 00:17:26,962
have a spoonful of cyanide.
419
00:17:27,045 --> 00:17:28,547
I'll give the pot a spin
420
00:17:28,630 --> 00:17:31,842
and whomever the spout lands on
must drink.
421
00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:36,096
No, that's good.
422
00:17:36,180 --> 00:17:37,824
Yeah, for a moment there I
thought you were gonna kill me
423
00:17:37,848 --> 00:17:39,328
because, you know,
that's what you do.
424
00:17:39,391 --> 00:17:41,059
But, yeah, this is regular tea.
425
00:17:41,143 --> 00:17:44,104
I mean, you know, got a
bit of a kick to it, but, uh...
426
00:17:44,188 --> 00:17:47,399
Oh, God! That
burns so bad...
427
00:17:47,483 --> 00:17:49,169
"Earl Grey," she said.
428
00:17:49,193 --> 00:17:53,197
She said, "Earl Grey
will make you dead."
429
00:17:54,823 --> 00:17:57,951
This is going to be fun, don't you think?
430
00:17:58,035 --> 00:17:59,953
This isn't creepy.
431
00:18:00,037 --> 00:18:01,330
My mom used to do this to me
432
00:18:01,413 --> 00:18:03,040
all the time
while I was tied up.
433
00:18:04,875 --> 00:18:07,753
Round and round,
I spin the wheel.
434
00:18:07,836 --> 00:18:11,381
When it stops,
what pain you'll feel.
435
00:18:13,383 --> 00:18:14,885
Your turn. Drink up.
436
00:18:14,968 --> 00:18:17,054
No way!
I'm not one of your goons.
437
00:18:17,137 --> 00:18:18,680
You can't make me do anything.
438
00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:20,516
Are you sure?
439
00:18:31,026 --> 00:18:32,110
Ouch!
440
00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:34,029
Hey, hat humper...
We're not done!
441
00:18:34,112 --> 00:18:37,574
Well, well, well. Tea for two!
442
00:18:37,658 --> 00:18:40,494
Take her down! Kill the clown!
443
00:18:40,577 --> 00:18:44,623
And bring me their heads!
444
00:18:58,804 --> 00:19:00,556
Harley, please!
445
00:19:00,639 --> 00:19:03,517
Where is the honor
amongst villains?
446
00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:04,600
Hey, don't look at me.
447
00:19:04,643 --> 00:19:05,643
Look at her.
448
00:19:08,188 --> 00:19:09,481
Why are you smiling?
449
00:19:09,565 --> 00:19:11,165
You were seconds away
from being puppeted
450
00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:12,985
by a leprechaun in a funky hat.
451
00:19:13,068 --> 00:19:14,236
I knew you'd come back.
452
00:19:14,319 --> 00:19:15,904
You may not be a bona fide hero,
453
00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:17,865
but you're not
as ruthless as you think.
454
00:19:22,035 --> 00:19:23,412
- You were sayin'?
- Yeesh.
455
00:19:23,495 --> 00:19:25,414
Did you really just kill him
to contradict me?
456
00:19:25,497 --> 00:19:27,374
I like killing assholes.
Don't read into it.
457
00:19:27,457 --> 00:19:29,042
Whatever you say... friend.
458
00:19:29,126 --> 00:19:31,461
We are
in the area of friendship.
459
00:19:31,545 --> 00:19:33,046
We're not making bracelets yet.
460
00:19:34,047 --> 00:19:35,299
We're not!
461
00:19:35,382 --> 00:19:38,051
Oh, and FYI,
when someone texts LOL period,
462
00:19:38,135 --> 00:19:39,553
the conversation is over!
463
00:19:39,636 --> 00:19:42,139
Got it. Where you goin'?
Off to do another good deed?
464
00:19:42,222 --> 00:19:43,390
LOL period!
465
00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:52,441
Ugh!
466
00:19:52,524 --> 00:19:56,403
Bruce!
Oh, Bruce.
467
00:19:56,486 --> 00:19:57,486
Selena!
468
00:19:58,363 --> 00:19:59,573
Hiya, Brucey!
469
00:20:06,163 --> 00:20:08,790
Ah! I knew it was two-roll job.
470
00:20:31,313 --> 00:20:32,940
Ow! Oh!
471
00:20:45,744 --> 00:20:48,080
Whoa!
472
00:21:03,845 --> 00:21:05,138
What are you gonna do, huh?
473
00:21:05,222 --> 00:21:08,225
Eat me like you did
our other brothers?
474
00:21:08,308 --> 00:21:10,060
Oh, you know that was a mistake.
475
00:21:10,143 --> 00:21:13,063
I suffer from
hypoglycemic-induced blackouts!
476
00:21:13,146 --> 00:21:15,649
All 13 times?
477
00:21:15,732 --> 00:21:17,859
My beautiful helmet!
478
00:21:20,612 --> 00:21:21,989
You don't have to do this alone.
479
00:21:22,072 --> 00:21:23,865
We could work this out,
make our own rules.
480
00:21:23,949 --> 00:21:26,201
Maybe figure out a system
where we alternate duties,
481
00:21:26,284 --> 00:21:28,495
you know, give us both time
to pursue our passions.
482
00:21:28,578 --> 00:21:30,747
There's a lot of great
scheduling apps out there.
483
00:21:36,253 --> 00:21:38,880
Oh, God, Jesus!
484
00:21:38,964 --> 00:21:41,842
I don't want the helmet back.
485
00:21:47,014 --> 00:21:48,307
I didn't want this.
486
00:21:50,017 --> 00:21:52,769
So, did we leave room
for dessert?
487
00:22:00,736 --> 00:22:03,030
Shit, I just did this
then minutes ago.
488
00:22:04,322 --> 00:22:06,742
Ah! Harls?
489
00:22:06,825 --> 00:22:08,201
Who has two thumbs to break
490
00:22:08,285 --> 00:22:10,203
and a full set of
teeth to yank out...
491
00:22:10,287 --> 00:22:11,913
This guy!
492
00:22:11,997 --> 00:22:15,417
Mommy, come back.
I'll be a good boy.
493
00:22:15,500 --> 00:22:18,879
Oh, shit. Okay, so there's that
baggage you were talking about.
494
00:22:18,962 --> 00:22:21,256
I cannot be here
when he wakes up.35882
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